#sorry I just like dunking on tate

[chisatowo]

Look at my sweet darling daughter <333333 ignore her brother

[sakebytheriver]

We traid helping men. We traid discussing things like toxic masculenity, and the negativ effects of the petriarchy on men. But it was like talking to a wall. There was hope, then Tate, Fresh and Fit, Sneako and other worthless piece of shit come along. If it was hard to talk to men about those, then now it's imposible, because they so far up Tate's cencerius ass that they won't even consider it.

You can try having those conversetion with men. Many did try, but after a time, you just get taird, and just say "Fuck it. Why do I even try to help you when you don't even see me as a human being, won't take the help, and would never do the same for me? Why do I even ever traid reasoning with any of you? I'm taird".

You try to talk about toxic masculenity, they response is "masculenity is not toxic", you say that you never said that ALL forms of masculenity is toxic, just the stuff that get's pressure on men, they response is eather "Don't try feminising men", or "that's what makes a men men". You try to talk about the petriarchy and it's negativ effects on men, they say "The petriarchy doas not exist". Ect. You give them realetionship advice they ignore you because you are a woman (Sorry if this made you feel uncomfortable, I did not really checked you bio), and as they say "When you want to catch a fish you don't ask the fish you ask the fishermen".

At this point, in time men are completely hopeless, and can only blame themself.

I'll be honest, this feels like troll bait or a weird copypasta and from the comment about not really reading my bio idk if you actually follow me

If you're expecting a real answer then I'd say, men are doing better than you give them credit for, yeah we've got shitstains like Sneako and Tate and their followers, but I don't think you should look at them as the majority of men in the world, not to mention your evidence seems to be purely anecdotal while patriarchy and misogyny are structural issues that are baked into the makeup of our society and are going to take a lot more work than just talking to men about them and making men aware of the issues. Like yes those issues mean men are in charge, but it doesn't mean individual men have the ability to do anything about them, all those men can do is try to change their own behavior and educate themselves on the issues and a lot of them do, for every Sneako and Tate I've seen twice as many male commentary youtubers tearing them apart and as evidenced by that revent viral clip Sneako's fanbase has a lot of young boys in it and young boys are all dumbasses that think being edgy and mean is the peak of comedy, but hopefully most of those boys will grow up and realize the errors of their ways, a lot of them do, they get radicalized really young because of different societal factors pushing them to be since being a misogynist is the expected norm, but as they grow up and go through life and their brains develop hopefully they recognize the logical phallasies being delivered by their fave youtubers and go looking for the actual correct answers and pull themselves out of that hole

Idk man, ultimately I don't think it's fair to write off basically half the human race because of structural injustices that most of them have no real control over, yes a bunch of them are pieces of shit who are very happy to let those structural issues continue unimpeded, but a lot of them aren't and a lot of them just don't know better and assigning purposeful malice to the actions of once again half the the population is not going to help the situation at all

I understand the frustration, but stuff like this comes in waves, we started with Gamergate and now we have the new era with Tate and Sneako, they're mostly just the last cries of a dying ideology clinging onto relevance, each time a young generation of boys gets to the age of being able to watch youtube they gravitate to that kind of content and it gets popular for a while until it gets more popular to dunk on that content instead and the boys age out of it, yeah it can be harmful and no doubt scars these boys for a while or for life and it definitely hurts the women in their lives as well, but that's what structural injustice does, it infects people and hurts them and those around them, but individual people are generally good and don't usually want to hurt people on purpose, I honestly think you might need to take a step away from the online communities that are the loudest voices of this thought, because I think most men in the world are not going to be overtly misogynistic or abusive, they're just gonna be guys who probably don't know all the intricacies of how patriarchy and misogyny have shaped their lives

Men are human beings, don't fall into the same trap misogynistic dudebros fall into where they see women as an alien species, they're going to make mistakes and fall into bad ideologies and they can also be talked to and reached through education, at the end of the day they're just people same as you and me don't lose hope because of the worst actors because ultimately most men are on the right track already and the ones that aren't are rapidly losing their relevancy

[latertate-r]

The Evans and skinny dipping

Some of these are longer than others... sorry about that. Also I’ve never written for them All so I hope I did them justice :)

Warnings: Just suggestive themes, due to the nature of the scenario

(Pre-death) Tate

* You both sneak into a person’s backyard while they’re on vacation

* He suggested stripping as a joke but when you agreed he almost fell in the water

* Tries to be polite when you both turn and change but snuck a glance at your ass

* Also tries to maintain eye-contact but you frequently catch his gaze traveling before snapping back to your face

* Tomato Tate

Kit

* Has always loved swimming in lakes and rivers and basically any waterbody he could get to

* Brings you along without telling you where you’re going, after you realize you tell him you only have the clothes you’re wearing

* He smiles “Well darlin’ I guess we’ll just have to go without ‘em!”

* Would swim around and try to catch things in the water, he’d also give you pretty rocks or other things he found

* He’d freeze when your hand brushed a scar left from Briarcliff and almost cried when you kissed it gently, then pulling him over to show him the waterfall you had found

* You both made a note to bring Tommy and Julia to see it next time

* But this time now was just for you and him, together

(Pre-death) Kyle

* Would be surprised that you suggested it

* Would also feel worried until you assured him you need only swim if that’s what he wanted

* He’d dunk his head to get his hair wet, forget that you’re naked and turn red when he surfaced

* Would absolutely race you and splash you whether he lost or won

(Post-death) Kyle

* Doesn’t really understand why you wear swimsuits to begin with?

* You tried to explain it but he still thinks of it as a bath so of course you’d be naked

* Also is completely attached to you the whole time and you’ll have to carry him

* Very interested in how water makes things lighter and got confused when he almost threw you out of the pool

* Gets worried when you go underwater and is scared to go under himself

* Until you buy him a pair of goggles and he loves to use the dive toys

Jimmy

* He’s gone to the lake with the rest of the group before but invited you alone this time

* He started stripping down as though it was nothing and you looked like a deer in the headlights

* He laughed at your expression, explaining that they all usually don’t use swimsuits because it would just be more hassle and they were all comfortable

* He’d turn as you change and would refrain from peeking, only turning back when he heard the water splash as you swam in

* Would jump in

* As he came back up he’d see you absolutely soaked from the splash wave and couldn’t hold back laughter, you’d totally splash him back good

* It’d turn into a full splash fight with you both drenched until he pins your arms to your side to stop the next attack you had planned

* “How’re you gonna get out of this predicament doll?”

* Definitely didn’t expect you to go under and evade him but he still swam after you

James

* Convinces Elizabeth to move the children and fill the pool

* Rather, you did most of the convincing, seeing as Elizabeth enjoys your company more than James’

* Anyway, with the pool filled and James announcing anyone who dares interrupt the both of your time together will not see the light of day for a few hundred years, you both get ready

* Let’s say it’s later in the year, meaning many guests aren’t showing up with swimsuits in their luggage, and though a swimsuit could be hand-fashioned for any and every ghost at the Cortez, James takes it as an excuse to swim nude with you

* “Dearest, you wouldn’t let this pool go to waste over the lack a simple garment, would you? I firmly believe that you’ll look as captivating without it as you would with.”

* And with his convincing you join him in the water, much to his delight, as you were too far away for him to hold you out of the pool

* He likes to feel your thighs while in the water

Rory

* Convinces you to swim on a rooftop pool

* Only with the promise that there were no buildings tall enough to see into the pool would you be okay with skinny dipping

* He’d be practically jumping up and down as he waited for you to come out

* You’d come out wrapped in a towel and quickly get in before tossing it on a chair, he’d swim over to you and whistle as he rested his hands on your waist

* Then would pick you up and toss you before swimming away from you, inviting you to chase him

* You spend a while chasing and also playing marco polo (he uses the excuse of his eyes being closed to brush against you, and would faint if you did it back)

Edward

* Actually doesn’t know how to swim

* You’d have to teach him, and he says with the bathing suit on he feels like he’ll drown so you’d have to forgo it

* You’d be managing pretty well in teaching him until he dips under on accident and then has a fit about you attempting to murder him and ruining his hair as a result

(Pre-cult) Kai

* Literally has never seen another person naked in real life before and it shows

* He can’t make eye contact but can’t look at you either without quickly averting his eyes and trying to force out an apology

* You’d have to assure him it’s okay and swim with him so he’d be more comfortable

* Almost drowns when he watches you get out of the water to grab a towel

Kai

* He suggests it, saying it was a way to further develop trust and be vulnerable

* Truly just an excuse to stare at his favorite follower

* He likes to grab you when you try to swim away, almost tugging you under just to frighten you, he can’t let you have too much fun can he?

* When it’s time to get out he insists on you both toweling each other off and will spend too much time “making sure you’re fully dried off”

Gallant

* Never preferred a swimsuit while swimming and only wore one when he needed to

* It’d be more of a relaxation day with you, he’d just swim around and float in the sun rays

* You’d both have many drinks waiting for you under the umbrella shading your two chairs

Jeff

* Absolutely almost passes out

* Literally ogles you the whole time and has to excuse himself

* He barely even got his bowl-cut wet

[ultramaga]

“ Who gives a shit if it’s actually true? “ Honest people. Otherwise it is propaganda.  “ Because that’s what it looks like happened “ No, what looks like happened is that some dude offended someone with connections, and then a call was placed, and the government of the United States then made a call, and Romania suddenly detained him, but found nothing they could use after twenty four hours. Mind you, they notified the Press core first. There was a great bloody circus. If he was actually dangerous, they could have died.  It’s also made certain he can’t get a fair trial and that if he’s guilty, his associates have had a chance to destroy any evidence that could incriminate someone high up in the government. But what does that matter?  “ Who gives a shit if it’s actually true? “ Exactly. Nail him up. Trials are just there for the show, the drama, and the inevitable gore. “ the image of this dipshit is that his petty, pathetic cosplay of masculinity “ Why are you threatened by his masculine displays? Or is it rage that he won’t date you? You just need a nicer dress, “  to try to intimidate a young woman “ Leftists keep trying to infantalise her. She’s a 19 year old adult who hobnobs with the WEF. She’s going to be soaring above you in a private jet - while you live in a cubicle, eating bugs, and telling yourself that you’re “happy”.

Oh right, sorry, I forgot; the WEF is just a conspiracy theory.

“ said young woman dunking on him even harder “ She told him that she* has a really small penis, which, frankly, we all suspected anyway, but it was a surprising boast. Leftists count that as a pwn. 

I think we all know the reasoning here. https://youtu.be/kAqIJZeeXEc For an actual Romanian perspective, see the vids by Vee.  https://www.tumblr.com/ultramaga/705149782337994752/andrew-tate-investigation-expands-two-women?source=share * it is possible she was referring to having a clit, which ... is ... an odd thing to boast about. I mean, jolly good, and I hope they are both very happy together?

rest in piss andrew "alpha male grifter and human trafficker" tate, stepped up to a teenage girl and got fucking vaporized

[dontshootmespence]

Round and Round We Go

A/N: An anon request for a fic where the reader (I decided on an OC) is a troubled teen that brings a gun to school. A constant victim of bullying, she decides to get revenge. When the team is called to help, Spencer puts himself between the possible victims and the gun and attempts to talk her down because of his own past with bullying.

Warnings: Bullying, Gun violence, Suicidal ideations.

“Not bad today.” 

Zoey Gould muttered to herself as she tucked a strand of her unruly brown hair behind her ear. The mirror in her locker had been covered up with tape for days. She was unable to look at herself without hating her reflection. After all, she was “ugly,” “unlovable,” “unfuckable,” basically just completely worthless. The bruises on her arms had all but disappeared, and the general torture had subsided. Maybe they’d all finally gotten bored of it.

Since she was feeling a bit better, she decided to try looking at herself in the mirror, and while she wasn’t a model, she felt she looked okay. She liked her eyes, the shape of her lips. She did have a few pimples that wouldn’t go away and her hair was unruly as all hell, but maybe she wasn’t ugly. Maybe there was someone out there that would love her for all her flaws.

In an instant, she felt her forehead clash against the metal of the locker and fell to the floor, clutching her head and patting around to search for blood. The familiar warm trickle down the side of her face left a crimson stream, followed by the salty one just moments after. “You can stand to look in the mirror?” Bethany asked, smirking in Zoey’s direction as the blood trickled down her face. “Even on a good day, you’re still disgusting to look at.” 

While Bethany was her main attacker, she was never without her boyfriend, Tate, Tate’s best friend, Joey, and Bethany’s own best friends, Chelsea and Lia. The entire group of them snickered as Zoey picked herself up off the floor. “Why won’t you just leave me alone? What do you get out of this? Of hurting me?” She said, her voice strong to start but losing power with each word. 

Of course, they didn’t have an answer. And just as all the previous times, she started to cry despite her desperation to stay strong. “People wonder why you don’t have any friends,” Lia said.

“I don’t,” Bethany interjected. “An ugly, pathetic, cry baby? Who would want to be seen with her?” 

As they walked away, Zoey slipped to the floor with her back against the locker. Who would want to be seen with her? Talking like she wasn’t even there - she wasn’t really. Not anymore. 

When she started high school, she walked in confidently, feet planted firmly on the floor. Now though, she floated in and out, barely grazing the shoulders of her classmates as the spoke about her with derision - like she wasn’t even there.

The girl’s face was marked with stab wounds - all over the place. Thankfully for her, they’d been done postmortem. Based on what their evidence so far, the team came to the conclusion that they were looking for a teenager. The two murders were messy. If it wasn’t a teenager, it was a first-time killer.

“I think I found our unsub,” Garcia said as she walked in. “Her name is Zoey Gould. She’s 16 years old, a junior at the high school, and she hasn’t been seen by family or anyone at the school for two days. Her father however, says that a semi-automatic weapon is missing from the house.”

“It wasn’t locked up?” Rossi asked unbelievingly. 

Garcia shook her head.

Spencer shuffled through her papers. “She’s intelligent. Straight A’s. It stands to reason that she figured out the combination and took it to get revenge on the people that have wronged her. Have you seen all of the documented incidents?” He’d read the papers in under a minute, each word dug into his skin like a dagger, reminding him of his own past, so far behind and yet still so fresh. 

Every member of the team glanced toward the board where the pictures of a dead and mutilated Bethany, and her boyfriend Tate. “These two, in addition to quite a few others, have been on record as torturing her,” Spencer said, his eyes wide with frustration. “How was nothing done? She was pushed into lockers. She was bruised. She’s gotten cuts on her head and arms. There have been numerous incidents where she was humiliated in front of large groups of classmates, in class, the gym, assemblies. She’s been made fun of relentlessly. And this is only what’s been documented. I-”

Of course, he didn’t agree with the things she’d done, after all, he’d been in the same position and chosen the opposing path, but he understood her pain. Being so isolated like that, it had to wear on you. That on top of Bethany’s torture and it was a wonder she hadn’t snapped earlier. Her victims didn’t deserve to die, but she didn’t deserve what she’d gone through either. This was a no-win situation. 

His stomach was tied up in knots as Hotch received a phone call. It wasn’t good. “A girl with a semi-automatic as stormed her way into the school. She has hostages.”

Deducing a person’s motives was what he was good at. Day in and day out, he and his team saved people and avenged others. Spencer did love his job - most days. This was not one of them.

As the BAU entered the school along with SWAT, Spencer felt the bile rise in his throat. With his past experiences, he was the one most likely to get through to her. “Reid?” Hotch said. “You can do this.”

He didn’t have a doubt that he could at least get her to listen to him, but getting her to surrender, that was something else entirely. So much pain had been thrust upon her, and although wrong, this was her way of getting it out. 

Slipping around the corner, he approached, his gun holstered, and Morgan and Emily right behind him, guns drawn. “Turn around and go back,” Zoey said, aiming her gun at Spencer. Her hands were shaking. Although she was teetering on the edge, she wasn’t over it yet. Zoey’s classmates and schoolmates cowered underneath tables and chairs. Spencer suspected some of them were direct targets of her wrath, while others would just be collateral damage; he couldn’t let that happen. 

“I can’t do that,” Spencer said softly. He held up his hands, hoping to convey to her that she wasn’t under threat, despite the fact that his friends were at his back with their guns ready to fire. “I’m not going to hurt you. I-I just want to talk.” He felt for the children cowering in fear, but knowing what he knew, he felt for her too. 

“Why?” She cried, her voice breaking as she spoke. “So you can tell me you know what I’ve been through, that I don’t have to do this? It’s about time someone paid for everything I’ve been through. I get beaten and called names and spat on and these useless teachers don’t do anything!” She turned her gun on a particular teacher. When Spencer looked at him, he got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. “This is all I have.”

God, he knew that feeling. His eyes started to water as he spoke, and at first, he staggered over his words. “It’s not. I promise. And I do know how you feel - more than you will ever know.”

“How?” She screamed, startling her classmates still shaking with overwhelming fear. “Have you been called names on a daily basis? Have you been brutalized by people men and women, old and new for no reason? Have you-”

Spencer didn’t want to cut her off, but he didn’t want her to spiral further out of control either. “Yes, Zoey,” he said softly. “I started high school at a very young age. Every single day I was pushed, shoved, kicked, punched. I’ve had my head dunked in toilets. I’ve had every slur imaginable thrown at me. I was even stripped naked and tied to a flagpole. I was left there for hours.”

While Morgan knew that story (he’d spilled his guts after a very similar case), Emily did not. He couldn’t see her, but he could feel the change in the air. Emily wanted to kill whoever had tortured him. The feeling made him focus even more on Zoey. In these types of cases, there was such a thin line between make the right and wrong choices. “That’s horrific,” Zoey said, a tear rolling down her cheek and onto her jacket. “That can’t be real.”

“It is,” he said. It sounded like a fake story, but he needed her to know it was real - to know that despite what he’d been through, he’d come so far. “There was a girl I thought was cute, and one day, her friend told me that this girl wanted to kiss me, but she’d only do it if I was blindfolded.” He felt the vomit rise in his throat at the memory. “I met where she wanted to meet, blindfolded and nervous. She kissed me and started taking off my shirt. And then I heard laughing. She pulled the blindfold off, and my entire class was there, laughing and pointing while the girl’s friends pulled off everything but my underwear and tied me to the flagpole. I wasn’t able to get free for hours. And that was only one instance.”

Zoey’s face softened at Spencer’s story. “Didn’t you want to hurt them?”

“Yes,” he said honestly, “But I knew it was wrong...and I think you do too.”

She lowered the gun slightly. Spencer felt the air return to his lungs and then get punched out as she tried to point the gun at herself. “You don’t have to do this!” Spencer said hurriedly. He kept his hands where she could see them and stepped closer. “You’re still young. The circumstances might have you tried as a juvenile rather than an adult. You have so much life left to live.”

“I’m a bad person,” she sobbed. “Other people go through this to and they don’t do what I did. I am weak. I am pathetic. I don’t deserve to live!”

Spencer could feel his ability to get her to surrender fading quickly. “Everyone has a breaking point. You were pushed to yours, but you can still do so much. Please...let me help you. Let me and my team get you the help that you need so you can start to heal.”

Zoey’s eyes glanced from Morgan to Emily and back to Spencer; she was unable to focus much on any of them, her mind too abuzz with possibilities good and bad.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. For a second, Spencer thought he’d missed his chance, but she began to lower her gun. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m-” Her face turned bright red as the air left her lungs and she collapsed to the floor where Spencer met her. He wrapped his arms around the fragile young girl while Morgan and Emily got the hostages out of the area and the gun far from Zoey’s grasp. 

“I know how it feels to be alone, to be afraid of your own mind, but you can heal in time - if you allow yourself to.” Her grabbed her hands and stood up, bringing her with him as he tried to reassure her that she could heal and be redeemed for the damage she’d caused. “I need to put the handcuffs on you now, okay?”

Meekly, she nodded her head. The click of the metal brought on a fresh wave of tears and nearby officers stared in confusion at the kindness he was showing her. Pulling a tissue out of his pocket, he wiped the tears away and walked her to the police car. “What happens if I can’t get tried as an adult? I-I’m so scared.”

“I’m going to speak on your behalf,” Spencer said, without realizing he’d committed to the thought. “There’s a lot of evidence on your side. Be truthful about what happened and be truthful about your remorse.”

“Okay,” she whispered, her voice shaky as she sat down in the squad car. “I’m sorry for everything, and...thank you Agent.”

He nodded softly and turned around, leaving the teenager alone and his mind racing with the thoughts of how unfair the whole situation was. Zoey had been tortured, and in turn, she’d tortured others. Would the cycle begin anew?

@unstoppableangel8 @coveofmemories @jamiemelyn @sexualemobitch @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @rmmalta @lukeassmanalvez @reddie-for-mileven @hogwarts-konoha

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2019, Part II

Part I is here. ENDEARING CURIOSITIES WITH BIG FLAWS

106. Alita: Battle Angel (Robert Rodriguez)- I'm not looking at a list of films with budgets over $175 million, but I guarantee this is the one with the lowest stakes. It concerns a cyborg who tries to uncover the identity that the audience knows she has all along, and it takes place on three sets. I was intrigued by the prospect of Robert Rodriguez directing a James Cameron production, since the former uses effects to be lazy and the latter uses effects to challenge himself. Alita is more of a Rodriguez movie in that regard. Although it looks slightly better than those pictures he used to make in his backyard, it ain't by much. 105. The Upside (Neil Burger)- As good enough as movies get, good enough right up to the childish screenwriting contrivances of the third act. ("I guess he knows about wheelchairs now, so he gets a job at a wheelchair factory? Or maybe it's his own factory? I don't know--I'm still spitballing in this production draft.") Queen Nicole is criminally underserved though. Have you read that story about how Keanu Reeves's friend forged his name onto the contract for The Watcher, but Keanu didn't want to go through a prolonged legal battle, so he just showed up despite the fraud? Surely it's got to be something like that. Or maybe she was under the impression her character was still being fleshed out, but she got there and saw that nothing has been changed since the last draft? It's just like, "Yvonne looks stern. More to be added." I know for sure that no one told one of the greatest actresses in the world about the part in which she's supposed to be a good dancer. She would have prepared. 104. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (Dean DeBlois)- HtTYD is still the most visually experimental animated franchise. For example, DeBlois hazes the image when a character is looking at another through a torch, there's a five-minute wordless sequence of dragons falling in love, and a lot of work has been put into crafting peach fuzz. I also appreciate that these films retain consequences. Hiccup has a prosthetic leg, and his dad is still dead. Narratively though, everything feels like a holding pattern, a brand extension that doesn't offer real stakes or real laughs. (Fishlegs has a beard now. That's his character development. That's it.) Even if The Hidden World offers an ending of sorts to the trilogy, it's a story of retreat/escape that can't help but feel like a sideways step from its already disappointing predecessor. My daughter tuned out and got really restless with about twenty minutes left. 103. Greta (Neil Jordan)- Such a boilerplate thriller that I was actually predicting the dialogue at points: "Miss, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do if she's just standing there across the street. She's not breaking the law." There is one notable thing that happens though. In a scene at a church, Huppert makes the Sign of the Cross incorrectly. As an actress, kind of negligent. As a French person, pretty exquisite. 102. Anna (Luc Besson)- The timeline-jumping didn't work for me, but without it, I don't think there's much notable about the quadruple-crossing here at all. The awe-inspiring restaurant fight sequence is the film's saving grace; I'm awarding an extra half-star for its slashing-throats-with-plates viscera. 101. Captain Marvel (Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden)- Was I supposed to know what a Skrull was before this? Lee Pace and Djimon Hounsou show up playing Guardians characters, so I think I was supposed to connect more of the sci-fi dots of the first twenty minutes than I did. All of that inter-planetary stuff was tough sledding for me, and I preferred the Elastica music cue and Radio Shack jokes. As it turns out, especially in this genre, it's dramatically frustrating to go on a hero's journey with a character who doesn't know who she is. It was nice to see Samuel L. Jackson, with convincing de-aging effects, get a real arc in one of these movies, rather than just posing here and there. Brie Larson does enough posing for the both of them. 100. Frozen II (Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee)- Frozen begins with sisters being separated after one injures the other. It plays for keeps from minute five. Frozen II, whose smaller stakes are felt in the one-or-so location, B-team songs, and forgettable new characters, never feels as real. 99. Aladdin (Guy Ritchie)- Even if the songs still bang and Nasim Pedrad is very funny, Aladdin feels as cynical and--don't say it, don't say it--unnecessary as all of these live-action remakes do. I'm looking forward to the animated remakes of the live-action remakes, which might figure out a way to reincarnate Robin Williams. One can dream, even cynically. 98. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (Vince Gilligan)- Finally, the TV movie--and no shade, but this ending we didn't ask for is definitely part of the TV movie tradition--that answers a burning question for Breaking Bad fans: Was Jesse ever interesting by himself?

97. High Life (Claire Denis)- As uncool as it makes me, I have to admit that I just don't care for Claire Denis's aesthetic. Knowing nothing going in, I was captivated by the mysterious first half-hour, but once the film started to explain itself, it seemed like a B movie with more ponderous music. High Life is effectively claustrophobic, but I found myself "yes-anding" most of it. Yes, for example, space is lonely, as I've learned from every other movie about space.

96. Where’d You Go, Bernadette? (Richard Linklater)- From the get-go, this movie doesn't work--structurally, tonally--but the miscalculations of Linklater and Blanchett and especially the mawkish music don't have enough consequence for the film to even fail on a noteworthy level. It's not unpleasant. You just laugh sparingly and think, on the way out, "I don't think she loved her daughter as much as she said she did" or "Get to Antarctica twenty minutes earlier or twenty minutes later." Linklater, an inestimable talent, has added an entry to his filmography that might as well not exist. Making movies, especially adaptations of epistolary books, is hard. I'm being too understanding of that or not understanding enough. 95. Dumbo (Tim Burton)- Just as Dumbo begins to take chances--fashioning itself as an anti-corporate parable with Keaton playing a Disney-esque "architect of dreams"--it settles back down to its own low expectations. Expectations that come from the storytelling and characterization and not the production design, which seems grandly practical except for the CG [rolls up sleeves, adjusts glasses, tightens shoes] elephant in the room. Of the performances, Farrell comes out on top, displaying Movie Star confidence despite very little to work with. (Can a World War I veteran who lost his arm and his wife be allowed a bit more pain?) It gives me no pleasure to dunk on child actors, but both of the kids seem to be reading their lines, and their monotones nearly sink the movie at the beginning. 94. Echo in the Canyon (Andrew Slater)- A nice enough introduction to the scene, but Jakob Dylan's constant presence as an interviewer and performer turns it into a vanity project. The film shuffles among talking heads interviews, prep for an anniversary concert, and an anniversary concert, and I'll let you guess which one of those is interesting. The access that the filmmakers got is impressive, but if a person didn't participate (Carole King is the obvious one), the filmmakers just pretend he or she didn't exist. 93. Diamantino (Gabriel Abrantes and Daniel Schmidt)- I like the notion of someone so specialized in his profession that he has a child-like understanding of the outside world, and Carloto Cotta sells the innocence of the title character. (The Donna Lewis needle-drop killed me too.) But too often this film feels as if it's focusing on sheer weirdness over satisfying narrative. Cult classics are fine, but you should try for the regular classic. 92. Ma (Tate Taylor)- There are some cool ideas here--the innocent entrees that technology provides, the way the movie earns its R rating. But the script needs a few more passes for everything to congeal past the silliness, especially with regard to the hammy flashbacks that attempt to provide motivation for the Ma figure. I respect the attempt to humanize a monster, but she would be more scary if left opaque. 91. Bombshell (Jay Roach)- The films that try explicitly to comment on our current social climate are never the most successful ones, especially if their internal politics are this muddled. The film takes great pleasure in implicating the toxic system of Fox News, taking shots at anyone who would participate. Then it starts to pick and choose who to like in that system, which is where it gets weird. Obviously, a Fox News employee who sexually harasses another employee is "worse" than an employee who gets harassed. But then the Charles Randolph screenplay starts to sort closeted lesbians and career-strivers, and it's not sure who the bad guys really are. The film moves quite swiftly in its first half, and Charlize Theron's mimicking of Megyn Kelly is eerie. But I don't think Jay Roach knows what he believes. The lurid, claustrophobic scene between Margot Robbie's composite Kayla and John Lithgow's breathy Roger Ailes is the transcendent moment. It teases out the humiliation slowly and powerfully. With a quite meta flourish, the scene makes you hate yourself if you've ever objectified one of the most objectified actresses in the world; she's that great at illustrating her discomfort.

90. Glass (M. Night Shyamalan)- 1. A great example of "story" vs. "things happening." A negative example, I'm afraid. 2. The Osaka Tower represents the literal and figurative highs that the film will literally and figuratively not reach. 3. Spencer Treat Clark back!!! 4. The flashbacks are actual deleted scenes from Unbreakable, which is amazing. 5. Not since Lost has there been a work that seems like obsessive fan service, but the fan in mind is the creator, not any member of the audience. We do not want your explanations about Jai the security guard's role in your universe, Night. 6. This is a sequel to Unbreakable and a sequel to Split, but it somehow does not feel like a third chapter of anything. 7. It makes sense that I watched this on the same day that I listened to Weezer's The Teal Album, their surprise collection of punctilious '80s covers. In both cases, there's an artist who was really important to me in formative years but who has used up the last of whatever capital he has accrued by giving in to his worst instincts. In Shyamalan's case though, at least it's a confident swing. The second act pretty much tells us that we were dumb to believe what he sold us on. Even though it's dramatically inert and completely stops halfway through, this is exactly the movie he wanted to make, which I stupidly still admire. 89. Five Feet Apart (Justin Baldoni)- I checked this out because I have the sneaking suspicion that Haley Lu Richardson is a Movie Star, and she is continuing to progress into that power/responsibility. Otherwise the movie is a by-the-numbers weepie that doesn't really have a new spin on anything but hits its marks adequately. I was surprised that Claire Forlani got neither a "with" nor an "and" card in the credits. How rude. 88. Pet Sematary (Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer)- I like the bleak dive the film takes following its second big twist, which is handled well, but there is a ceiling for an adaptation of one of King's least ambitious and most predetermined tales. 87. Wild Rose (Tom Harper)- So conventional that Jessie Buckley almost got nominated for a Golden Globe. 86. Judy (Rupert Goold)- Just as the leaves start to change, we get biopics like these: too earnest to be cliched, too safe to be original. I'm on the ground floor of the Zellwegerssaince, but Judy is a slog in stretches. 85. The King (David Michod)- Capable but superfluous. Animal Kingdom was nine years ago, so it's quite possible that David Michod, even when he has an imperious Ben Mendelsohn at his disposal, has lost the urgency. The reason that anyone should see this--at least until someone puts together a YouTube compilation of just his scenes--is for Robert Pattinson, whose take on The Dauphin is the frontrunner for Most On-One Performance of the Year. 84. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (J.J. Abrams)- There are just enough moments--the first Force battle between Kylo and Rey being one of them--that remind the viewer of the magic of Star Wars. Kylo Ren's arc concludes in a more satisfying way than I expected, Babu Frik is officially my dude, and Daisy Ridley's post-Star Wars career intrigues me. My Dolby seat was rumbling, and I was pretty charged up on candy. But, man, most of the business here feels compromised, undermined, and inessential. It's a rushed connect-the-dots compared to The Last Jedi. There's a scene in which the gang has to risk wiping C-3PO's memory to gain important information--they need a thing to get to another thing to get to another thing--and there appear to be stakes for just a second. Then, as if to reassure the audience that there will be ten more of these movies, Rey adds, "Doesn't R2 have a backup of your memory?" That's the whole movie in an expensive, nostalgic nutshell.

83. Queen & Slim (Melina Matsoukas)- Capable of tender moments but shot in the foot by its episodic nature, Queen & Slim is the most uneven picture of the year. The characters work well as foils to each other, but Jodie Turner-Smith's performance is overshadowed by Kaluuya's. I have no idea what Chloe Sevigny and Flea are trying to do in their brief time on screen, and I have no idea what the film is trying to do when it disturbs the point of view for a misguided protest sequence. 82. Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria)- It has been a long time since I was so surprised that a movie was over. The coda comes up telling us about, in real life, what kind of criminal slaps on the wrists the characters received, and I got pushed out of the theater wondering what it all amounted to. Yeah, that's the point. I know. Just as none of the 2008 bankers went to jail in the wake of their destruction, none of the women who drugged and exploited them did much time beyond "14 months of weekends" either. But should I applaud moral confusion? Can I be angry about the lack of consequences for both parties? If you want me to judge the film I watched instead of the film I wanted to watch, I can be more complimentary. Some of the most electric moments in 2019 cinema are here, rooted in 2008 strip club music. And saying 2008 strip club rap was good is like saying 1890 French Impressionism was good. Nearly every performance works, from Lili Reinhart's bashfulness to Wai Ching Ho's gratitude to Jennifer Lopez's intractable confidence. Also, I don't know if anyone has noticed this before, but J. Lo has a nice butt. 81. The Report (Scott Z. Burns)- There are some interesting things going on here. For example, this feedback loop: An hour or so in, protagonist Daniel Jones watches a fabricated news feature that explains what waterboarding is, and I had an instinct as an audience member to go, "Like we don't know by now. Don't hold my hand." But the only reason I know is because of news reports like that, informed by work that the real Daniel Jones did, dramatized in the events of the first half of this very movie. Still, this movie is a lot like one of those dishes in which every single element sounds like something you would like--"Ooh, pork belly, delicious. Oooh, lemongrass. Bet those would go well together"--but you take a bite, and it doesn't taste good. Is that your fault or the restaurant's?