#sorry 4 all the songs about like jacking off and doing drugs and wanting to killurself and shit

[cgtg]

Started listening 2 why? after u mentioned it (which rocks btw I’m thoroughly enjoyin it) but fatalist palmistry vaguely reminded me of smth on coma cinema’s blue suicide album

couldn’t remember which song it was reminding me of mayb it was “whatevering” but idk you might like it 👍👍

thing u gota know about me i will listen to fuckin any genre long as it bops and got me feelin some kinda way

so i listened to that song & im currently still listening 2 the album, its really good i def see what u mean bout the singing style being similar, yoni doesnt sing like dat often but whenever he does its such a treet.

i rlly like "wondering", "hell", "her sinking sun" as well as "whatevering". these are kool trax, thank u for sharing 🙂. good vibes for cloudgazing.

also id luv to hear bout which why? songs uve heard or which ones u enjoyed. funnily enuff "fatalist palmistry" is one of my absolute all time fav songs. like. defines my sense of self typa song

any time i can get sum1 to listen to whywithaquestionmark is a good fucking time so genuinely thank you. thanks for doing that

[totomoshi]

Everybody Talks

Pairing: Why Don’t We x best friend!reader, Daniel Seavey x reader

Warning: Mentions of depression and death!!

authors note: this idea has been in my head for a few months now and i was a bit hesitant but, here’s my very first attempt of fanfiction based on my ideas. hope you guys love it !

Today was most probably the most boring day in all of the boring days... at least that’s what you thought.

In all honesty, with everything that’s been happening in the world + life making you depressed, you just wanted to go and have fun. Even if sometimes you don’t want to get out of bed and just stay in the comforts of your trusted blanket.

Alas, you know you’ll have to get out for food and water so here you are: lying on the couch for the past 10 minutes, figuring what to do to conquer your boredom. You’d call the boys, but they’re probably at the studio right now, at least that's what Daniel told you anyway.

You've already contemplated on whether just to go for a walk in the park for the needed amount of fresh air, but that meant you’d have to go change and you’re already so comfortable in your worn-out tank top and baggy jeans.

It was another 10 minutes of thinking when suddenly someone knocked on the door of your apartment.

“Who is it?” you asked

“It’s us!! Open up!!”

Wait a minute...that’s Daniel’s voice! But he's supposed to be at the studio...how did he -?

Your thoughts were interrupted by another knock on the door

“Come on y/n!! These snacks and pizzas are heavy y’know?!” Zach whined

‘Is the whole band here??’ you wondered

You decided to find answers of your own and immediately opened the door to find that not 1, not 2 but all 5 members of the boy band outside your door with each member bringing a type of snack, boxes of pizza and... CDs?

“What are you all doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the studio???” you asked surprised and a bit confused, to be honest

“Well...I- I mean we kinda lied” Daniel chuckled with the usual mischievous glint in his bright blue eyes

You immediately blushed and smiled shyly. It was amazing how with just a glance, this man can turn you into a blushing mess.

“Look, I’m glad that you guys are having a moment and everything but can we come in? Because I wasn't kidding when I said that these snacks and pizza boxes were heavy” Zach whined. Both Daniel’s and I face turned crimson red to that.

“O-oh yeah! Sorry guys, please come in!!” I stuttered as the boys started to scatter around the apartment

“So the five of you still haven't answered my question, what are you doing here??” I questioned

“We heard you weren’t feeling well, that's why we decided to come and check up on you” Jonah spoke up

“It’s okay guys, I can handle it. I’m used to handling this on my own, it will pass. Trust me.” I reassured

“We know, but nobody should be dealing with these types of things alone. We all understand how you feel so trust me when I say for all of us, that we’re here for you. You’re not going through this alone, you have us.” Daniel reassured while looking at me with his soft eyes that radiated a blue so bright that it could give the sea a run for its money.

If you were being honest, you weren't always like this. Usually, you could hold it all in but with your grandfather’s death anniversary coming up and all of your schoolwork increasing, you felt like you were gonna burst. Also, the fact that the boys were all here wasn't making the entire ‘holding it in’ plan promising.

After hearing Daniel's reassurance, you decided to just let it all out and that's how you became a sobbing mess in his arms.

“I-i just couldn't deal with everything you know? With grandpa’s anniversary coming up it's making it a hell lot difficult to be okay. Usually, I could hold it in but I just miss him so much” you sobbed into his hoodie

“Hey there, it's okay. You don't have to hold it in anymore. You have us, remember? We’ll always be here for you” Jack cooed

At this point, you don't even know if it was even possible to die from their purity and love for you.

“Y-you guys are the best. I love you guys so so much” you mumbled while reaching out to form a group hug

“We love you too y/n,” they said

“Yeah, some more than others” Corbyn mumbled which was immediately met with 4 other glares

“What?”

“Uh, nothing!! Nothing at all!” he replied nervously

You just shrugged it off thinking it was some sort of an inside joke between them

“So, what else did you all decided to grace me with? Besides your presence of course,” you asked teasingly

“Well, we knew how much you loved it when I did a cover of Everybody Talks on my Instagram live. So we decided to do the full cover of it, right here just for you” Daniel explained

Excited couldn't even begin to fully explain how you felt during this exact moment. Just to summarise it, your feelings were all over the place. Touched; because you didn't think he listened to your random rants especially the ones about him. Excited; who wouldn't be? You're about to hear your favourite boy band do a full cover of one of your favourite songs!! Then there were other feelings that you didn't think there would be enough words in the English language to describe it.

“Zach! Would you kindly do the honours?” Jonah asked

“It would be my pleasure” Zach jokingly said in a fake posh voice

He then went to your stereo and inserted the Everybody Talks cd. The minute the music started to play, you sat excitedly on the couch as the boys started to sing

Jonah

Hey baby, won't you look my way?

I can be your new addiction

Hey baby, what you gotta say?

All you're giving me is fiction

I’m a sorry sucker and this happens all the time

I found out that everybody talks,

Everybody talks, everybody talks

You were honestly surprised because the minute Jonah started to sing, he pulled you up from the couch to dance with him to match the energetic beat of the song.

Daniel

It started with a whisper

And that was when I kissed her

And then she made my lips hurt

I could hear the chit chat

Take me to your love shack

Mama’s always gotta backtrack

When everybody talks back

Then, you were suddenly whisked into Daniel’s arms which in all honesty you didn’t mind one bit. As he sang the chorus, he looked into your eyes with his signature smile. Even though there were 4 other people in the room, it felt like both of you were the only two people there.

Corbyn

Hey honey, you could be my drug

You could be my new prescription

Too much could be an overdose

All this trash talk make me itchin’

Oh my, my shit

Everybody talks, everybody talks

Everybody talks, too much

When it was Corbyn’s turn, him being Corbyn, he danced goofily around you which made you giggled and you decided to join him and be goofy too.

Daniel

It started with a whisper

And that was when I kissed her

And then she made my lips hurt

I could hear the chit chat

Take me to your love shack

Mama’s always gotta backtrack

When everybody talks back

You didn’t know whether it was your feelings for him or the fact that he was also your best friend, but you couldn't take your eyes off him. It was as if he was an angel that God sent you, he was just so perfect. But watching him dedicating the lyrics to you right now, you knew that whatever hell you go through, at the end of the day he’ll always be there to save you.

Jack

Never thought I’d live

To see the day

When everybody’s words got in the way

Hey

You knew that when it reached Jack’s part, he would back hug you and he did. It was something you two always did as you both were always affectionate with each other.

When the guitar riff started playing, the six of you started to dance like crazy. It was the exact thing you needed, just having fun with your 5 best friends.

Zach

Hey sugar, show me all your love

All you’re giving me is friction

Hey sugar, what you gotta say?

You knew exactly what to do when it was Zach’s turn. The minute he started singing, you climbed on his back which made him stumbled a little. He danced and spun with you on him which made you laugh like crazy.

Daniel

It started with a whisper

And that was when I kissed her

And then she made my lips hurt

I could hear the chit chat

Take me to your love shack

Mama's always gotta backtrack

When everybody talks back

The minute it was Daniel's turn again, he whisked you in his arms and started to twirl you which you didn't even know he could do. That boy’s always full of surprises.

All of you

Everybody talks

Everybody talks

Everybody talks

Everybody talks

Everybody talks

Everybody talks, back

Seeing you dance like that was something Daniel hadn't seen in a while. He was glad that you were smiling because of something he and the boys planned. He would give the world just to make sure you’d never lose your smile. It was 2 years into your friendship when he realised he was hopelessly in love with you. He knew he can't do anything that will risk the friendship that you two have. But seeing you having fun with his 4 best friends made him threw every doubt he had out the window.

‘Oh fuck it’ he thought

Corbyn

It started with a whisper

And that was when I kissed her

Just as Corbyn sang the second line, Daniel went up to you and planted his lips on yours. You? You were surprised. How could you not? The boy of your dreams is kissing you right now!! It took a few seconds but you gladly returned the kiss which made him smiled into the kiss.

After a few more seconds, the both of you pulled apart with huge smiles on your faces.

“I’ve been wanting to do that” Daniel mumbled

“Me too” you grinned

“Nailed it!!” the rest of the boys shouted which made the two of you laughed.

Who knew that dancing to your favourite song could lead you and your best friend to confess your feelings to each other?

[thatmultifandomhoe]

Knitting You a Home - 9

Pairing: Wolf Hybrid Namjoon and Human Reader

Word Count: 2,557

Genre/Rating: Hybrid AU - Established Relationship - Angst - Fluff - Smut - Rated PG-13

Overview: Things have changed for you and Namjoon. It’s been a year since the two of you got together, and despite a rocky start, it was impossible to deny the bond and love you shared for each other. But ever since Hoseok had been separated from his Mate, Namjoon has been withdrawing himself from you and doesn’t come home until late at night.

With questions far larger than either of you imagined, you can’t help but wonder if he’s let his past and old fears come back to haunt him. You had shown him that it was possible to have a home and be loved once before, but will you be able to do it again?

Warning: A brief implication of drugs - shit’s about to go down in this part - sorry - not sorry.

Music Playlist:

Main Master List:

Knitting You a Home Master List:

Mated Love is Never Easy Series Master List:

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - ?

©thatmultifandomhoe 2021. Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

Namjoon’s chest was heaving as he got off the stage, the strobe lights swirling around the room as the bounced up and down. Whoever decided that having the Underground under a night club was perhaps the smartest person alive.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Jackson shouted, handing Namjoon a towel to wipe away the sweat. “You have them eating out of your hands man.”

Letting himself be led to the lounge area, Namjoon laughed as Jackson continued praising him. His ears felt warm as he ducked his head, taking a moment to focus on drying off and collecting his thoughts, a habit he engaged in since the first time he went up on stage.

The Underground lasted until dawn every night. After that first encounter with Jackson, Namjoon found himself coming to Lotus after work on the nights they had rap battles, and this was his fourth time rapping against someone. Apparently after he told Jackson about wanting to be on stage, the jacked up blond man had self-appointed himself as his own personal manager and by the next night when Namjoon came by, he had a clipboard tossed in his face. Written in black pen was his name on a sign-up sheet. Fourth spot.

There was a part of him that felt guilty for not telling you about this. He was still playing it off as late nights at work, which was partially true. Yoongi and him were still at odds with the artist, the unspeakable song was now a thorn in their sides along with the unwanted girlfriend. She was coming to all the meetings now. Her perfume tainted their workspace to the point that Namjoon had to ask Yoongi if they could share studios for a bit.

But now instead of catching the bus or a ride with Yoongi to go home, he found himself going to Lotus, a flame within burning to get up on the stage again. He had years of material and with it memorized, it was only the nerves he had to shove away before walking up those short steps.

No one had cheered for him when he was announced that first night. The other contender had been new as well, but by the end of their round, the crowd was cheering for Rap Monster even after Jackson led him away for some air.

“Hey man, you feeling okay?” Jackson suddenly asked, the door creaking as he led Namjoon out a side door.

Namjoon lifted his head, breathing in a lungful of the warm summer air. “Yeah,” he said, leaning against the brick wall when the door shut. The loud music was muffled then, giving him the peace that he needed for that moment. The high he got from being up there was, out of this world, but the last thing he wanted was for it to get to his head.

What he wanted, was for you to be there.

To be cheering him on and being the one for him to hug after each round. To breathe in your scent and go on a mental trip to fall where there were crisp apples and nutmeg, all while standing out in the middle of a summer night. You were the one who grounded him, the most important person in the world, all while reminding him that he was living out his dreams.

“Just catching my breath,” Namjoon reassured.

Jackson pointed a finger at him and joined his side against the wall. “Man, I knew I had a good feeling about you since that first night.”

“Are you sure you don’t have any dog DNA in you?” Namjoon asked, still amazed with how much energy Jackson possessed.

The blond just laughed though. “Yeah, I’m sure. There’s just something I don’t get though.” He handed over a water bottle, not without stealing a sip first.

“And what’s that?”

“Why the hell don’t you have an album out if you work for a recording company?” Jackson frowned as he looked at Namjoon. The question had been bothering Jackson since he first learned about where he worked.

However, Namjoon just shrugged, gulping down some of the lukewarm water. “It wasn’t a priority when I first started working there,” he explained, passing the bottle back to Jackson. “Yes, I wrote songs and after I met Angel, the dream of putting out an album finally came back, but I wasn’t ready for anyone to hear it.”

Jackson nodded in understanding, but came to a pause as he thought over something that confused him. “Wait, you saw an Angel? Man, do I need to know something? Maybe start carrying a little something in-case things go sideways?”

Grateful to not have taken a drink, Namjoon grinned. Although, when you entered his life, he swore that angels were suddenly real and walked among everyone on Earth, they were just well hidden. Only revealing themselves to a special few. He knew that considering his life and the things that he’s done, he didn’t deserve you, but he was a selfish bastard and he didn’t want to let you go.

“No, no. You’re fine. Angel is just a nickname for my…”

His voice softened, torn between saying the truth, and what he so longed to say. His wife. That word alone managed to free and strangle him at the same time, because as true as it was, it wasn’t a legal binding marriage. Not for humans at least.

“Your Mate?” Jackson said, figuring that was what he meant.

“Yeah,” he said. “My Mate.”

Pointing at the door, Jackson smiled. “Is she here? What the hell man, why’d you let me take you outside if she’s inside? Shit, I feel bad, we ditched her without a second thought. Look I know a girl who works at this florist shop, she does some amazing work and I can get you a discount if your girl’s upset –”

“Angel’s not here,” Namjoon interrupted, waving his hands to catch his attention. It truly was shocking that the guy wasn’t a hybrid.

Jackson’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open, the snap-back that he wore sliding down until he shoved it around backwards. “Oh shit, is she sick?”

“No, she just…”

How does he say that you had no idea that he was even here? That if he was being honest, you were probably certain that he was still at work and because you trusted him, hadn’t thought to call Yoongi and ask where he was. Namjoon knew that you listened to rap on occasion, so it wasn’t as if you would outright hate the music.

It was just…no one knew who he was here.

Sure, he was quickly becoming friends with Jackson, but Jackson never knew him before their first meeting. No one knew about his past, or the hybrid that he had been forced to be to survive. They only knew what he told them, and the songs he wrote and performed.

The idea of you not approving, or worse, being disappointed in him, made the hard decision only slightly easier. It was better that you didn’t know. He was already unable to do the one thing he knew you longed for, why add another to that list?

The side door opened, strobe lights brightening the darkness as a group of girls walked outside, their high-pitched laughter hitting Namjoon’s ears in a way that had them flattening against his skull. They served as the distraction that he needed though. One glance at Jackson revealed that his new friend was already grinning, even finger waving, at one of the brunettes.

Namjoon raised an eyebrow, fighting back a smile as he clapped Jackson’s shoulder. “Alright Romeo, I’m calling it a night.”

“Yeah,” Jackson murmured, glancing back at Namjoon. “I’ll see you for the next battle?”

“I’ll be here. Night man.”

“Night.”

Walking around his friend, Namjoon opened the door and glanced backwards, chuckling as Jackson nodded for the girl to join him. Not wanting to get in the way of his friend perhaps meeting the one, he let the door close behind him and headed his way towards the hallway that would lead out of the Underground and the Lotus.

There was certainly a benefit to knowing that for every Hybrid, each one had their own Mate, destined to be their one and only for eternity. There was too much uncertainty with humans, always the possibility that they didn’t love you as much as you loved them. Granted, finding your Mate was never always an easy thing to do, but even on the coldest night when the entire world appeared in black and white, it had been a comforting thought to know that someone was out there waiting for him.

He never would have thought he’d end up with an angel though.

Leaving the swarm of club goers behind him, he deeply inhaled, double patting his back pocket to guarantee that his notebook was still there – which it was thankfully – and began the long walk home. The last bus running had stopped hours ago. Even Jerry was starting to ask where he went now that he was getting off at a new stop. Every time he asked, the concern and worry rolled off of him like freshly baked bread, and the lies came too easily.

I’m meeting up with Angel for a late night out.

It had worked for the first couple times, but Namjoon knew it wouldn’t last forever. There were only so many places that the someone could go to this late at night.

His ears flattened against the curve of his skull, his tail coming to a halt as he walked. When did it become easier to lie to you than tell the truth? This wasn’t a life that you deserved, but as much as he hated to admit it, there was no ending in sight for him. He…he couldn’t give up the rap battles. Not when he was getting so much attention, when so many people were enjoying and listening to what he had to say.

He finally found a place where he felt like he belonged.

Deep within, his heart ached in confusion and longing. After so long, he was getting the recognition and acknowledgement that his dreams had a possibility of being a reality. On the other side however, he knew he wasn’t supposed to be doing this alone. There was an empty place that could only be filled by one person and one person only, and you were sleeping in bed.

Carefully shutting the front door behind him, Namjoon yawned as he removed his ear buds with one hand, pausing the music on his phone with the other, all while carefully kicking his shoes off and on to the rack in the hallway.

It was well after three in the morning, and limbs heavy from the long walk, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep with you before returning back to work in a few hours. If it weren’t for the fact that he knew he couldn’t sleep without you anymore, he would have gladly passed out on the couch that was only a handful of steps away.

His exhaustion dulled his senses and as a result, he didn’t pick up on the way that your scent was stronger than it usually was. Granted, this was your home and you spent a majority of your time here, but the living room and kitchen were bathing in nutmeg. He hummed at the way it tickled his memories, vaguely recalling the last time it had been this strong so late at night.

A bang in the kitchen revived him from his daze, frowning as he hurried his way to the kitchen, only then noticing how all the lights in the living room and kitchen were on. He stopped short though, only reaching the kitchen table which was currently hidden underneath the many plates of baked goods that covered it.

You were standing at oven with you back to him, the screen of your phone lit up as your fingers quickly tapped on it before removing a cookie sheet off the stove top and on to a cooling rack. It was a pie. A deep breath on his part and not only was he smelling you, or the apple pie that you baked at three in the morning, but the saltiness of tears being shed.

“Angel?”

Stepping around the table, Namjoon suddenly felt wide awake knowing that you were in pain. His instincts screamed at him to go to you, to hold and comfort you until you were able to tell him what was wrong. To protect you from whatever was hurting you.

At the sound of his voice, you whirled around to face him, the tears turning your eyes into mini oceans when you met his gaze. But you held a palm up and shook your head. His heart came to sudden halt. You didn’t want him to come to you.

“I…I can’t do this,” you said. Your voice was cracking, your free hand curling into a fist by your side.

He felt your pain coming off of you in waves, every emotion seeming to hit Namjoon from every angle but when he tried to go to you once again, a choked cry escaped your lips as you shook your head again.

“Sweetheart,” he whined, his ears now completely flat as he reached out for the back of the chair. You never turned away his hugs and touch before. Usually, you told him how much his presence was more than enough to comfort you. “What’s wrong? What happened Angel?”

A quick glance away from you revealed that even on the counters there were more baked goods. The last time you had done this…Sue had taken Hoseok away from Sarah. He bit down on the inside of his mouth, trying to push that memory away. No. You were his Mate. You had promised that what happened to them would never happen to the two of you.

He watched your tongue dart out to wet your lips, your shaky breaths loud as your tried to collect yourself without his help, his own tears slipping out when you covered your face with your hands for a moment.

“Who is she?” Your voice was muffled by your hands, but you lifted your head to repeat yourself. “Who is she?”

“Who’s who?” He asked, not understanding who you were talking about.

That must have been the wrong thing to say however, because your face scrunched up as another sob left your shoulders shaking and bent you forward. Despite not wanting him near, he couldn’t let you collapse in on yourself. Catching you, he gently guided you to one of the chairs, crouching down on the floor in front of you to be able to look up at you.

“Please, sweetheart. What’s going on? Please tell me.”

“Who is she?” You asked, staring at him with all the pain laid out in your eyes for him to see, sending his own heart cracking at the agony you had been hiding from him. He didn’t think anything could be more painful than seeing you hurting so much. His entire being and purpose felt like it was shattering to a million pieces.

“Who’s the woman that you’re having an affair with Namjoon? Who is she?”

[mascwhump]

Chapter 4: Sharp Edges

Here ya go.

TW: blood, mild gore, stabbing, drugs?, starvation

Tag list: @whatwasmyprevioususername @milk-carton-whump @whumpasaurus101 @whatwhumpcomments @mnmlover2002 @ashintheairlikesnow

-

The only way Charlie was able to keep track of time was through the meals he was given, and the lighting in his room.

For breakfast, it was a slice of toast, two slices of bacon, and a glass of orange juice. For lunch, a ham and cheese sandwich, a glass of water, and a multivitamin. For dinner, a bowl of chicken noodle soup and carrot sticks, or a plate of pot roast and mashed potatoes, and a glass of water.

The lights would turn off a few hours after dinner, and be relit just before breakfast. Only one light near the door remained on, providing just enough light to see. One day, he asked Basil the time.

"I'm not allowed to say," he answered.

So, Charlie made up his own time. Breakfast was at 7 AM, Lunch at Noon, Dinner at 5 PM, and the lights shut off at 10 PM. They would turn on again at 6 AM. He had no idea how accurate this was, but keeping time was one thing that allowed him to keep control.

He continued to find new ways to pass the time. Now healed, he was able to do more rigorous exercise. He'd do a circuit of push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks, planks, and whatever else he thought of that he could do with his arms chained. He'd also sing softly to himself. The silence was deafening at times. He often sang "i'll wait for you" by Saint Slumber - a song on Crow's playlist.

He wondered about the team, about what they were doing. He hoped that Deke was alright - he wasn't there when Mallory showed him the video of the team being released. He must've gotten out before the soldiers got to him. That's what he hoped, at least.

A lot of time was spent reminiscing. There were a lot of good times with the team, especially when they got to hang out as friends while on leave. Once, Adrian brought home a used poker set after venturing into town. They all got drunk and played until morning. Another time, it had snowed, and Ethan insisted on using a riot shield they had stolen on one of their previous missions to go sledding. They walked through the woods to find a good hill, and took turns. Crow just watched. He claimed he was too big for the "sled", and said he was having fun  just watching his friends eat shit at the bottom of the hill.

At dinner one night, Basil brought in a thin mat and a mint green blanket. Charlie wasn't outwardly grateful, but he secretly appreciated it. Sleeping on the cold tile floor was doing a number to his back. The mat couldn't have been more than an inch thick, but anything would be better than the tile. The blanket was equally welcomed - the sweatpants he was given hardly did anything to keep him warm.

He wasn't sure if Basil had brought it on his own accord, or if Mallory instructed him to give it to him. He assumed the latter; Basil surely wouldn't do anything without prior approval. The kid looked like he would cry if Charlie even looked at him wrong.

The next day, Basil came in to bring breakfast; only, he didn't have any food with him.

"I'm sorry, they didn't have a tray for you. I still came to let you use the restroom," Basil said.

Charlie thought it was strange. Did they forget to make his meal, or was something else going on? Maybe they ran out of food. He didn't mind too much, because he wasn't really hungry, anyway. Basil left and Charlie thought about how many others might be there.

Time passed, and Charlie’s stomach was growling. Basil would bring lunch soon, he thought. But soon the lights shut off for the night. There wasn’t anything he could do besides go to sleep.

Morning came. Charlie woke up to the sound of the door opening. He was about to say something snarky to Basil, questioning why he wasn’t fed, when he realized it wasn’t him in the room.

Mallory stood in the middle of the room, holding a duffel bag. Charlie stood up and approached him, getting as close as he could until the chains stopped him about 3 feet away.

“So you’re going to starve me now?” He spat.

“Basil has been assigned to other duties,” Mallory said, setting the bag on the floor.

“And that means I don’t get to eat?”

Mallory stepped closer to Charlie, leaving just inches between them.

“Firstly, food is a privilege. You’re lucky I allow you any food at all. Secondly,” he growled, “you do not speak to me that way.”

“I’ll speak however I want,” Charlie hissed.

Mallory shoved him back, causing him to fall to the ground. He was a lot stronger than he looked. Charlie propped himself up on his hands and watched him retrieve something from the bag. He pulled out a some sort of chain contraption with three loops.

“I’m releasing you from the wall, but the moment you do anything stupid, you lose that privilege. And I’ll make the chains even shorter,” Mallory said.

Charlie only nodded. Mallory seemed to accept that as an acceptable response, and motioned for Charlie to stand up. He walked behind him and Charlie could hear keys jingling.

“Do not move until I put these on,” Mallory ordered.

The first cuff of the chain was free. Charlie felt relief as the metal fell from his wrist. A thought arose from the back of his mind to fight when the other cuff was off. He knew it was stupid, and that the chances of him even getting close to escaping were one in a billion.

He did it anyway.

As soon as the other cuff came off, he whipped around. He managed to land a punch to Mallory’s jaw, and a kick to his shin. But a sharp pain in his abdomen stopped him in his tracks. He began to look down before he was thrown onto his back. Mallory stood over him, holding his hand to his cheek.

“I’m not stupid, Charlie.”

The handle of a knife was sticking out of Charlie’s chest, just below his sternum. In shock, he lied there, unmoving. Every breath made the pain worse. He watched as Mallory circled around him. He could taste blood in his mouth.

Mallory then leaned down and gripped the handle of the knife, looking directly into Charlie’s eyes as he pulled it out. Charlie screamed, his hands flying to the wound and putting pressure on it. He rolled over in pain.

“How long should I let you suffer before I give you your little miracle drug?”

Charlie ignored him. He was too focused on not dying. There was no way the knife hadn’t gone through his stomach or liver. Blood poured out onto his hands and the floor. He whimpered as he applied more pressure. It felt like hours had passed before he felt the needle poke his arm.

Soon, the pain flipped into ecstasy. He rolled back onto his back and stared at the ceiling while the serum worked. Mallory stared in amazement as the wound seemed to magically heal, leaving no scar. It was a few more minutes until the high came down. Charlie was left dazed on the floor, covered in blood.

“Go take a bath,” Mallory said as he turned to leave, “and clean this up. If there’s one spot of blood on the floor when I come back...”

He left the room after picking up the duffel bag and Charlie sat up. There was a pain in his abdomen, like a bruise. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as it was. He got to his feet and walked into the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and got in the bathtub, scrubbing away the blood on his body and hands.

After the bath, he used a towel to wipe up the blood from the floor. It took a few rinses of the towel in the sink to get it perfectly clean. He didn’t leave anything behind.

[orange-waterfalls]

Hugs From The Captain!

Captain Magnum x gn!reader

A/N: hi. it's me. i'm not dead! which is an awful surprise considering the amount of people who WROTE MY OBITUARY yesterday, PREEMPTIVELY in case I did die. but i didn't! so suck on that.(yes this is a markiplier quote no I do not remember what video) anyways here's a soft Magnum fic with a lil angst. as a treat. after fucking MONTHS. I have been kind of experimenting? with like more banter or realistic type of dialogue. just like. lemme know if u think it's good. Rated T for cursing. Fluff and sort of angst. Uhhhh tw: self-doubt, tw: guns, tw: alcohol, tw: drugs. Reader doesn't like. Use guns. Or drink. Or do drugs. Uhhhh I think that's it enjoy!!!

Word Count: 2.8k

Hugs From The Captain!

---

“Good job, matey!” Magnum yells out when you drop a large sack of coins on the ground. You breathe heavily and your arms are shaking, but by God you carried that shit onto the ship. In the middle of a gunfight, no less!

You don't respond, preferring to hit the deck as bullets continue to fly. You cover your ears with your hands and squeeze your eyes shut tight. No matter how long you'd be on this ship, you were sure you'd never get used to this part. You don't know how long you were on the floor, but when you looked again, two other crewmates were on the floor as well and it was silent. You scramble to your feet and look around, sighing when you notice the other ship sailing away.

"Good job, Y/N!" One of your mates says loudly, still on their stomach on the floor. Ah, yes. Gunshots. Ringing in the ears. Love it.

“Thank--!” You’re cut off with a squeak as Magnum squeezes you in a giant bear hug.

“Aw, you’re doin’ fantastic! That was wonderful! I never thought I’d have such a great first mate!” He turns to another crewmate. “...no offense”

“Some taken…” he sighs and rests his cheek in his hand.

"Mag-" you can't finish before you wheeze a breath out, and the captain takes that as a sign he should put you down. He does, holding your shoulders as you sway, and brushes you off a bit.

"Apologies… I get a bit excited," he flushes.

"You're-" you clear your throat, "you're fine."

"Anywho, let's all celebrate tonight! I have some o' that fancy whiskey in me cabin!" He suggests.

"Fancy?" You croak.

"Ya know. Fancy! The bottle actually has a label on it!"

"Right… uh, sure. We can do that. Ok."

"Fantastic!" He reaches out for another hug but freezes when you flinch away. He plays it off by grabbing a rope and telling the crew what to do.

You sigh in relief. You love the guy, you do, but goddamn he is strong. Sometimes a hug is a bit too forceful. You were sure he's cracked a rib before.

You stand next to him, waiting for him to let you know what you can do, but he just smiles and sets a hand on your head.

"Ye were wonderful today. Yer arms must be tired. Ye should go rest," He explains.

"What? No, I'm fine!" You put your hands on your hips. He squints at your arms, and you look down and notice they're shaking. You let them drop.

"Mm. Go rest," he instructs and you cross your arms before sulking away to your room.

--

You lay on your bed completely still. You'd been in this position for the past 4 hours. It had gotten dark and you were sure you missed dinner.

Ok, fine, your arms hurt before.

But now you couldn't feel your body at all. Everything was completely numb. Maybe carrying a giant bag of gold coins that was nearly the same size as you wasn't the best idea.

You hear the door creak and your heartbeat speeds up but you literally do not move a single muscle.

"Mate? Y'alright?" Magnum asks. You groan in response. That was supposed to be a "yeah". He walks over to your bed and you manage to move your neck a bit to look up at him.

"I have a feelin' yer bein' dramatic." He chuckles, a deep sound that echoes through your room.

"How dare you," You whisper, your throat hoarse.

"It can't be that bad."

"Not everyone is a seven foot tall mass of muscle."

"There's a bit I'm pudge in here too, don't worry."

"Whatever."

"We're celebratin'. Ye wanna come or are ye gonna lay here for another 6 hours?"

So it was 6, not 4.

"Magnum, boss, cap, mate, I don't think I can fucking move, much less dance with you people." Because whenever there's drinking, there will be dancing. You've been here long enough to know that is a fact.

"Here, I have an idea."

"Wha--" He lifts you up like you weigh nothing and you feel your face heat up a bit. He pulls you into a bone crushing hug. Literally. You hear and feel your back crack in several places. He drops you onto your feet and, again, you sway a bit, and again, he steadies you. You stretch your limbs, sighing.

"Uh… thanks. Still don't think I can dance, though..." You scuff the floor with the toe of your boot.

"Eh, thas alright. Ye can sing, can't ye? Ye know a few shanties?" He asks.

"... a few…" You say with a smile.

"Good! I'm sure they'll love to hear ye," He gently sets a hand on your shoulder. He sets it gently on purpose. You know because he was about to slam it down with a force that would probably dislocate your shoulder, but stopped a few centimeters away and made sure to let it down soft.

"Mm. We going now?" You pat the hand on your shoulder.

"If ye want."

"Bet. Let's go."

--

After an hour or so, you had exhausted your voice and all the shanties you knew. Magnum was right, the other crewmates were very excited to hear you sing. They even chanted beforehand. As soon as they recognized the songs they joined in they joined in. They started dancing after a while, too.

You're sitting by a light in the corner, sipping your drink. They're having a lot of fun, and you can't help but smile. You feel… safety. Comfort. Affection. Love.

You love these people. This is your family. This is a group of people who you might have never known if your life had gone just a bit differently. You thanked whatever being is out there in the universe for giving you this… family. This feeling of pure joy.

You hear loud creaking towards you as Magnum approaches. You tilt your head back to look up at him behind you.

"Oi. Ye alright?" He inquires in a voice much quieter than you're used to.

"Yeah, I'm good," You say, matching his volume.

"Ye were actin' like we were goin' ta haveta saw yer arms off," He teases.

"I thought you were!" You defend jokingly.

"I'da been the one to do it."

"Woulda given me a cup of beer and said 'it's basically an anaesthetic'."

"Well, of ye drink enough…" you both chuckle. You look down at your drink and swish it around in your cup a little. You can feel him staring at you and it starts to make you uncomfortable.

"What is it?" You snap a bit on accident. He frowns. "Sorry…"

"Ye sure yer alright?" You groan loudly in annoyance.

"Yes! I am absolutely sure, 100%--"

"Tell me and I'll buy ye a treat next time we get to shore." You both stare at each other for a moment. Your arms are in midair since you were cut off from your dramatics. He had an eyebrow raised and was looking at you suspiciously. You drop your hands onto the table.

"I feel useless." You say bluntly.

"Wha? Why? Did someone say somethin'? I'll shoot them out o' me cannon right now!" Magnum panics.

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you!" You sigh and fall back in your chair.

"Wha d' ye mean?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"There's no… nobody said anything, I just… I got a bag. One bag!"

"Aye! An' that was very--"

"Mags, they each got at least two. Some even had three. You got seven. Plus a chest."

"Ok, so we're a little… little stronger than ye, what about it?"

"I'm not… useful to you! I'm not as strong, I'm not good in a gunfight, I can barely talk my way out of anything--"

"Ye talked John out of his potatoes."

"I thought his name was Jack?"

"Eh, he-he never corrects anyone. I called him James the other day and nothin'."

"Huh. But that doesn't count. I know him."

"Ye are useful, and even if ye weren't, yer a valuable… valuable? Yea, valuable member of this crew. I haven't seen 'em dance this much in months. I haven't smiled this much in months. Ye are a very important part of me ship. Crew. Me crew."

"...Mags, are you drunk?"

"Not the point. Wha I'm sayin' is we love ye and now we're attached and ye can never leave."

"Ah, I see. C'mon. Bedtime," You stood up and walked over to Magnum, putting a gentle hand on his arm. He squints at it.

"No," He looks up at you.

"Mags…" You warn.

"No," He crosses his arms and leans back.

"Magnum," You cross your arms. Is he really doing this right now?

"Call me captain," He smiles brightly.

"...I'm not doing that," You can't help but smile back.

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why do you want me to?"

"I like it."

"Ok, Mr. authority complex."

"Stop psychoal… psychoan… psy--"

"Psychoanalyzing."

"Yeah that."

"Only if you get to bed."

"...bah."

"Bah, yourself. Stand up."

"I'm a lil tipsy, it's fine." He says, swaying a little. You put your hand back on his arm and he stares at it as you lead him to his cabin.

"You'll thank me in the morning when everyone has a pounding hangover and you just have a headache." You pat his arm.

"Mm. Mate?" He asks, still staring at your hand.

"Yeah, Mags?" You open his door and let him walk in. He looks at you standing in the doorway with this… weirdly soft look on his face.

"...I love ye." He whispers. Ok, that was way too quiet and a very uncharacteristic thing to say.

"Love you too. You're drunk." You repeat.

"I know. I still love ye."

"Thank you. Go to sleep."

"Cuddle?"

"No, you smell like whiskey."

"Please?"

"No. Love you. Go to sleep."

"G'night."

"Night."

--

"Morning, everyone." You smile over your cup at the tired and annoyed faces that walk through the door. Some mumble a "good morning" back, some only give you a wave, some straight up ignore you. Magnum walks in, visibly doing better than the others, and makes his way to you.

"Uh…" He scratches his beard.

"Hm. Let me guess…" you tap your chin with a finger and raise your eyebrows.

"...thank you." He sighs.

"Called it," You tilt your seat back and put your feet on the table.

"Yeah, yeah…" He grumbles.

“Sleep well?” You sip your drink.

“Eh… yeah…” He says after a couple seconds.

“That’s a hesitation I hear,” You raise an eyebrow.

“Mm… dream was a… a little bad…” He sits in a chair across from you.

“Bad? Bad how?” You tilt your head, and the look he gives you isn’t a very good one.

“Eh, jus’… jus’… mm…”

“Don’t wanna talk?”

“Not… really…”

“Ok. Coffee?”

"Aye." You stand up and get another cup of coffee with a little bit of sugar and some whiskey and hand it to him.

"... sugar 'n whiskey…" he says, surprised for some reason.

"Yeah. You like it that way, right?" You ask, worried you'd gotten it wrong.

"Aye, aye I do…"

"...is something wrong?"

"...no. Nothin'."

"You… sure?"

"Aye."

"Ok… I'm gonna… go see if the others want anything." He nods as you walk away.

That was. Very weird.

You shake your head and walked up to John. James. Whatever.

"Mornin'... Joseph." You say experimentally.

"Mornin', Y/N." He smiles. So, he just answers to anything. Great.

"Need anything? Coffee? Food? Drugs?"

"Why would we need drugs?" Another mate asks.

"For your hangovers, duh." You clap your hand on Jim's (Jake's?) shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll spike your drinks." They all thank you at different energy levels as you leave to get their individual cups of coffee. You feel someone staring at you and turn to see Magnum gazing at you from his seat. He clears his throat and turns away once you see him. You sigh and distribute the cups among the crewmembers. One of them stares at you as you hand them a cup.

"What?" You ask defensively.

"He's in love with you." She comments.

"Yeah, I know…" you sigh and sit down at her table.

"You know? What do you mean you know?!"

"I mean, I know!"

"Do you like him back?"

"That's a difficult question."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I love him a lot but he's a greedy bastard with an authority complex and he hugs way too hard."

"The hugs are not that bad." You give her a look. "Ok, yeah, they are."

"Uh-huh."

"You could… teach him how to hug and see where that gets you?"

"I think I'd hurt his feelings if I suggested that."

"Then just… hug him!"

"What? No!" You whisper-shout to get your point across but also make sure Magnum doesn't hear you.

"Why not?!" She whisper-shouts back.

"That's… weird! I don't give hugs! Hugs are not a thing I give! I get hugs I do not give them!" You both stare at each other for a minute.

"You're touch starved," she raises an eyebrow.

"No shit, so is he."

"One hug! That's it!"

"I refuse."

"I'm sure it'll make him happy!" You pause, thinking about it. He did seem a little upset when you flinched at him. You glared at the pirate and she gave you a shit-eating grin back. She knew what she was doing. Fuck.

"One hug." You hold up your finger to emphasize the point.

"That's all I ask." You point at her and stand up from your seat. You walk over to Magnum. He looks up at you, eyes widening for a moment.

"First mate." He nods.

"Captain," You nod back, "Can we talk?"

"...uh."

"Just real quick? Somewhere private?"

"Uhhhh."

"Magnum."

"Ok. Yea, we can… do that." You nod and began walking towards his cabin. After a couple steps you realize he's not following you and turn around. There he is, sitting at his table.

"Mags?"

"Hm? Oh! Comin'."

He makes his way over to you and enters his cabin. You enter afterwards, shutting the door behind you. You look at him, this 7-and-a-half foot giant of a man, fidgeting. Nervous. You squint at him. How are you gonna go about this?

"You hug too hard." You state. He frowns and drops his hands to his sides.

"Oh…" He says, sounding disappointed. Fuck hurting his feelings, he was gonna hurt your organs, goddamn.

"You need… you gotta be softer. More-More gentle. Like… like, uh…"

"I'm not sure I can--"

"Here, lemme-just…" you shuffle over to him and wrap your arms around his torso. You feel him tense up under your touch. You lay your cheek on him and just squeeze your arms a little. You can't reach all the way around, but it seems to be working pretty well for what you can do. His arms are just frozen in the air, and he keeps moving them just a little, like he wants to hug you back but can't. You inhale a little and smell gunpowder, wood, and coffee. It's a comforting smell, mostly because it's just his, and you can't help but squeeze a little tighter and nuzzle into him. His breath hitches and his heartbeat speeds up. You grin.

You're fucking with him. Not on purpose, but it's happening.

You finally pull away after a few minutes, giving one final squeeze to his midsection before finally stepping back. You look up at him, an innocent smile on your face. He just stares down at you, a blush on his face. His eyes are a little foggy, and you start to get a little worried. Maybe that was… too much, too fast.

"Mags? You okay?" You whispered. He seems to snap out of whatever trance he's in at that because he sucks in a breath and drops his arms.

"Aye! I'm alright! I'm going to uh… go now!" He announces loudly and stomps out of his cabin.

You chuckle as you watch him walk robotically over to the front of the ship, almost tripping over himself and yelling at anyone who laughed. You sigh, shaking your head and sitting on his bed.

You'd wait until he told you about his feelings. You'd wait until he was ready. You could do that... You could do that.

You look out the door again, seeing the crew all working, and him just standing at the wheel. He has a dopey, crooked smile on his face and his hands keep twitching like he can't contain himself. He catches your eye and looks at you. You stick your tongue out and scrunch up your face. He smiles wider and it looks like he chuckles. He looks away, embarrassed. You smile again before standing up and leaving his cabin, planning to ask what you can help with.

Hugs are good enough for now.

[girlofthefandom]

Tales from the smp thoughts and random quotes I enjoy (essentially delayed live blogging) Part 1

I love all these npcs already

“Hurry up camera man!”

Yes! Gladiators! I remember seeing someone say that idea

Just some joes

Porkeous the 7th. Oh no I can see the fan girls now.

Yes! Punch em off!!

“Yeah same.”

“That’s good cause I don’t” “we build a new colosseum every time”

I can’t want to see the names of everyone’s characters. Especially Philz’

Stairs everyone’s worst enemy

Tubbo... sweet child

She disappeared!! Witch craft! Burn the witch!

Tubbo=Jacky (forced off streets)

Fundy=Laggius Maximus (I love this name so much with the spinning)

Please don’t kill both the boys in this fight. But also I’m cheating for Laggius.

Subbin Empire? Subbin to Technoblade!

Go Laggius! This is not going to go well... this is really not going to go well...

No I refuse to root for Jacky. I like Laggius the bit will be funnier later.

I want to know what happened to the last camera guy! Let us know!

Vertical feeling! Heaven forbid! Also look at them insulting TikTok

I love the background music. Feels magical.

A lovely jump

Surprises... well that’s ominous. And wait the first one!

Tower! Towers are always good.

We got our popcorn. Ready to watch this fight.

Laggius is... coming... maybe...

GG Jacky... he hasn’t won yet but gg.

Lava!!!! Hooray! Love us some good lava

Poor Laggius... he was burning too early

And Laggius is still lagging

Why isn’t Jacky burning?? He won???

Knocked unconscious in the lava. What is this a Pokémon game?

GG Jacky.

Nobody needs to know the way around here.

“Almost like a video game” just break that fourth wall right down

Keeps looking at sapnaps character and talking about strong. How sweet. We love some fiancé’s.

Please don’t throw Laggius to the wolves

Jack Manifold = Bartholomew

Phil having to translate. I love it.

Watson = Phil

Good pun. Very good pun.

Nobody likes Punz. Gosh everyone’s so mean

We love Watson. Let’s go Watson.

Bartholomew with the drugs and Watson.

Crazy drunk man with fire resistance

I agree with Watson why did we come to this cousin.

Sapnap in a hole

Also I love the drinking age being 3

Let’s go Watson!!!

Where are my Pom poms? I’ve got a Watson to cheer for.

Execute those architects.

And their first Borns.

Watson! Watson! Watson!

“Welcome to the land of the living Bartholomew.”

I love the slow fight.

Come on Watson shoot em!

Oh no. Oh no. Come on Watson. You’re so close!

Noooooooooo.

Why Bartholomew???? I can’t spell that! I’ve been relying on autocorrect this whole time.

Watson would be so much easier to spell.

Still must go down the stairs.

Speed running life. That’s what I do.

No one dies. Just take them to nurse joy.

Poor Punz being so bullied

Punz=Levi

Levi? Really? Oh well I like the name. He won’t like but I like the name.

Also why does Levi have such a full backstory.

Has weapon hands with a horrible southern accent. I love it.

“Hmmm”

Who is Ol’ Sap?

Sapnap = John

And no creativity apparently.

Laggius had the best name for a gladiator. All the others are too boring.

Why are we beating up BBH

Hannah=Genevieve

Genevieve! I can spell that thanks to old Barbie movies!!

Go Genevieve! Trained her life! I love this woman!

Mostly women upstairs. I love it our fandom is so biased.

“Are you sure about that?”

Darlin? Really that’s not the right word.

Go Genevieve! I probably shouldn’t cheer for her since everyone I’ve cheered for has lost.

But still GO GENEVIEVE!!

Our empire is millions in dept

Let’s step up the battle! Let’s gooooo

“Ayyyyy!!!”

Go Genevieve! Levi hush up with your gills.

Jump in! Splish Splash!

Wait why are we listening to Mario Kart music? Wait I recognize this song.

Go Genevieve!!

YES FINALLY! I PICKED THE WINNER!

Levi hush. You done lost messed up southern boi.

Go Genevieve! I can actually spell your name!

I straight forgot Porkeous the 7ths name for a second and had to check my notes.

Stairs. Woop de doo.

“Pick the most handsome” wow

Ol’ Sap = John as I remember. And he’s sticking with it. Bold man sticking with it.

Ranboo = Ran

Just Ran and it’s just the enderman part of the skin. Haha. Very funny.

BBH = Edward

He went from strange voice to normal(ish) voice

I don’t like Edwards speech pattern. At the very least. Yucky.

John v. Edward letsa go

Go John!

Wait we renaming? This is going to get confusing.

Handsome. Can you two quit flirting (not really keeping going)

Alrighty then Ugly v. Edward

Go Ugly! (Sentence I never expected to type)

The seat thing

And saying king Julien. Sigh.

Just BRB real quick.

Thinking about buying things. Oh he meant ad.

Alright Ad 1/3 let’s go.

No I can’t even open chat to watch them instead of the ad. Boooo.

2/3 let’s get this done!

3/3

Snickers just loading for forever

Alrighty we survived.

And a crown really? Just wants his normal skin back.

Let’s go Ugly!

Bo-at battle! Let’s go!

Please don’t shoot Ugly.

Go Ugly!

“King Are you ok!”

I still hate Edwards speech pattern so much

Please. Just pretend to have a fair fight.

The rabbits???? Cant rabbits swim?

Hooray rabbits! I don’t what purpose they serve but I love them.

Edward or Edwardo? Did I miss something?

Ok it seems both.

Shooting a rabbit? Disowner on you disowner on your cow.

Killing pets reference? The references are so good.

YES UGLY!!!! Thank heavens!

I’m 2/4 for choosing the winner.

I hope ugly keeps on winning

“Colosseum Remote Control”

3 in 1 battle how did they not plan correctly for an even number

Nerds hold cameras you heard it here folks

I don’t want to hear deeper for some of these stories. All I want to see is Genevieves further story. She seems deep.

“Massive pigs growling at us. No offense”

Watson trying to clean the table.

We bringing in the Harmonika.

Harmonika fits the moment.

Yes name him handsome! Haha

Grievous is how I’m spelling that stupid sounding name. But it’s better than John and ugly.

I can’t get over the name Ran.

BE GONE LEVI!

I love Watson having to take care of Bartholomew. Translating for him and waking him up.

Phil just can’t resist playing the dad.

No no stopping just fighting.

Also I love Watson saying break it up. I wish Watson had won.

Genevieve sounds like such a lovely lady and she deserves to win.

As much as I love Grevious I want Genevieve to win.

Sapnap=Grevious good gracious this is hard to follow.

Ran is cool. I’m going to kill over listening to them just saying Ran.

Complicated backstory. Found the main character.

Ran is cool.

Wait this place is going down??? Pardon me???

Three person fight is...

Grevious v. Ran v. Bartholomew

Genevieve v. Jacky

Puns! Let’s go! And of course Levi likes Puns.

Everyone is so mean.

GO GENEVIEVE!

And Watson just babysitting Bartholomew

I’m going to get good at spelling Bartholomew. Because I was horrible at it before.

Empire of women!

Cages=Lava

“Mmm what smells good”

Battle star!!

“Boing Boing Boing”

Water dome?

Water Dome in Lava?

Well he tried zombies/bunnies

Lava in the water sphere?

Only fight at top of fishbowl got it.

GO GENEVIEVE!

Come on girl you’ve got this!

No Genevieve babe please don’t lose.

“The boats going down.” “It’s yelling timber.” “Like that song that hasn’t been made yet.”

Hurry up and die. I love it.

NO GENEVIEVE!!!!!

Do do do do

That was a longer fight. But pretty good.

To the cellars! Not to the cellars!

No! The boat is gone!

That was close.

This feels like a funky Pokémon game.

Jacky is a finalist! Good for him. I’m not cheering for him but good for him.

TRIANGLE FORMATION

Who’s missing? Oh wait it’s Bartholomew

“Intense prison cosmetic surgery”

Rabbits! We love rabbits.

Oh no faceplant mode!

What is even happening?!?!

Thinking creatively.

Just don’t die. What a game.

Cant wait to watch the thinking creatively animatic.

In a boat to avoid floating.

Attack!

Go Ran!

Oh we’re lagging.

Disable the dive mode!

The zombies are a bit much. Oh everyone’s actually fighting.

Rats why weren’t there baby zombies when Watson was going. They even made a Phil reference.

No treaties.

Go Ran! Keep on running away.

I love Ran.

GO RAN! I love Grevious. But GO RAN

Faster Zombies. Zombies go zoom.

Oh Grevious won.

Wait why does Ran have grass and why do they see him again.

Placing more dirt to clean old dirt.

Poor Grevious.

I feel sorry for him now.

Stand on da dirt.

Put the rabbits in the cages!!!!

I cheer for Grevious.

And yes there are many a loser.

Everything is so spicy. As in lava is there.

You can’t kick your fiancé’s future descendent out of the gang.

A full inventory

Watson with the backup button!

Seriously all he can do is be a dad.

OH BOY LAGGIOUS IS BACK!

And he’s here for the picture.

And Watson is (still) bullying him!

Bartholomew is pure trouble.

Ooops. The root beer was on the brain.

Watson! Come get your drunk!

Oh wait he actually did! I love this so much.

Petition for more Phil in Tales.

Only Genevieve voting for Jacky

Some people refusing to vote.

I’m sorry who asked if Laggius is ok.

He is always (not) ok

He is fine. See.

I love Laggius’ character the most.

Go winners!

Reformed kinda. If that doesn’t sum up the whole of the smp.

All the grass in the cage.

And Laggius being his slow self.

Nothing v. General

I love how it went from King to Emperor to King

And there is Laggius.

I don’t know how anyone else is spelling Laggius but I like this way and refuse to edit it if it actually spelled different.

Oh we’re getting more ads.

1/3 let’s go

[platypanthewriter]

Unless...? Ch.4

Part One | Two | Three

Billy replied every time Steve texted, unless he was working, or asleep, and Steve tried to ration it out—waiting until after practice, or making himself finish his meal, so he didn’t return to work to find out Billy’d been sighing heavily every time his phone chimed.

he’s as glued to his phone as u are, sent Robin, and Steve tried not to grin too widely in triumph.

Don’t know who you’re talking about, he sent back, and she sent an eyeroll emoticon.

“Y’know,” she said later, over video chat, while Steve folded his laundry. She had a straw dangling out of her mouth like a cigarette. “—the last time I saw you texting this much,” she said, pausing so he’d look up, and then slurping at her soda, “—you were dating.” She stared him dead in the eyes.

“What is your problem,” Steve hissed at her, his face flushing. “Quit this Steve and Billy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G shit, it’s getting old.”

Steve couldn’t help it, he wandered into Victoria’s Secret the next day, and got surrounded by sales associates. “What size,” he got asked, and they seemed unsurprised when he said “I’m not sure.” He finally just grabbed like five pairs of lace panties, his face probably steaming, and ran back out, because Billy had probably—definitely—been kidding.

Steve was feeling more and more sure, the feeling leaden in his stomach, that if he brought the lace thongs up again, he’d get the hardest “No homo” of his life. He got back to the motel and threw the packages in his backpack, stuffing them down to the bottom, and curled up on the bed, remembering how fast things had gone south with Tommy. Tommy’d wanted to jack each other off—as bros, he said, as pals—and Steve had gone along, only to hit weeks of unanswered calls.

Robin had been decidedly unsympathetic—she’d never liked Tommy—but Steve had never really stopped thinking about where he should have drawn the line, before he scared off his best friend. Maybe he could tell I was wondering what it would be like to kiss him, he thought, staring at the ceiling. Maybe I leaned in too close, and grossed him out.

He imagined Billy blanking him at work, as Steve tried to explain he’d just...thought he was doing it right, this time, coloring in the lines. He was always too dumb to know where the lines were, was the problem. He rubbed his eyes, taking a long, shaky breath, and rolled to bury his face in his pillow.

He reminded himself of Billy’s flinch when Steve called him husband, as a joke, and groaned. Slumber party, he told himself. Like kids.

Steve didn’t text Billy for a few days, after that. He didn’t think about the lace thongs, either, and he didn’t order grilled sandwiches anywhere, or doodle butterflies in his notebooks, thinking about Billy’s tattoo flexing just a little as he breathed in his sleep.

Rehearsals were distracting, and Steve practiced hard. In the afternoons, he finished up two separate songs—about loneliness, but in a vague kind of way—and started another one that would never see the light of day, about how it would feel to have just one person on earth as excited about him as he was about half the people he knew. He tried not to even imagine that person as Billy Hargrove, because how weird was that, picturing him wanting to road trip together, or go camping, and lean into each other by the fire. Steve reminded himself, grimly, of what friends did—he’d learned it with Robin, and he could learn it before he creeped Billy out, too.

He was pretty sure one thing friends didn’t do was fantasize. He threw the thongs in the trash, and then fished them out the next morning, and stared at the pile of them, tissue-wrapped and perfumed on his bed. He opened the package, and considered them—one black, one red, one pink—he didn’t know why he’d said yes to white, because white panties weren’t even date night panties, according to Nancy. White and beige were for lounging.

White was for weddings, though, Steve thought, feeling ridiculous, and stuffing them back in the bag. He tried not to think about taking the joke way too far, and buying rings.

respond to yr boy, he keeps checking his phone like a lovesick goon, Robin sent the next day, and Steve clicked over to Billy’s messages and sent a string of hearts without even checking what Billy had said.

Once he actually checked, it was you forget about me, harrington? and Steve wanted to spin around in place, he realized, alone in his hotel room, because Billy Hargrove missed him, and so he did. He shuffled around to the tune in his head with his arms up like his phone was Billy himself, spinning and swaying his hips because nobody was looking, and then he let himself fall face-first on the bed like a Disney character, giggling. He dialed Billy, and curled up on his side, grinning.

“...I guess you do remember who I am, huh,” Billy grouched.

“I miss you,” Steve told him, confident for once, because Billy Hargrove, cool bartender sounded pouty, like a little kid. “Like I’d forget my best guy. My most favorite—”

“Oh my god, stop,” Billy laughed.

“Coolest person I know,” Steve told him, honestly, and Billy snickered harder, his voice going muffled.

“I’m at work, jesus,” he hissed, but he sounded fond.

“I wish I was there,” Steve told him. “I’d just dedicate you a song. Right in the middle of a set, just switch songs. Sorry, y’all, my bartender’s lonely.”

“Jesus,” Billy groaned, but Steve could tell he was smiling. “You say that, but it’d—it’d be something dumb, you’d sing me the Barney Song—”

“‘I love you, you love me,’” Steve sang cheerfully, as Billy said, “Do not. Do not sing it. Steve—”

Steve’s heart pounded, singing love words to Billy, but Billy’d suggested it, so it wasn’t weird, it was a joke. “We’re gonna have a huge weddiiiing,” he crooned, “—with a lacy thong, and kiss from me to you—”

Billy cackled, breathless. “Shut up!” he panted. “Stop, you dipshit, quit it—”

“Won’t you say you love me tooooo?” Steve held the note like a broadway star, and Billy must have died laughing, because all Steve could hear was wheezing.

“Shut up,” he gasped. “Holy shit, fuck you, Harrington—”

“Hey, you thought I wouldn’t do it, practically a dare, Hargrove—”

“Oh my god,” Billy groaned, still giggling, and Steve wished he was there, Billy next to him on the bed, so he could hear it better.

Billy needed to giggle more, Steve thought, trying not to think of Billy’s weight in his arms, warm and solid. He wanted Billy laughing helplessly into his shoulder, he realized, sharply, like a hunger pang. “I don’t think you’ve gotten enough love songs,” Steve told him, his voice a little husky with the stupid surge of emotion over Billy laughing.

“...most people don’t write songs,” he whispered back. “Most people aren’t you, Steve Harrington.”

“I think you need to hear it more,” Steve insisted, stubbornly. “I mean, I know I’m not supposed to talk about—Drunk Night—but—” Billy took a sharp breath, but didn’t say anything, and Steve winced. “I won’t, I won’t, I promise, but—but anybody who doesn’t tell you that—that they—they’re shitty. You’re amazing.”

“I’m really not,” Billy laughed, like Steve was being ridiculous.

“You are, you’re so smart—”

“I’m what now,” Billy interrupted, snorting a laugh that didn’t sound nearly as happy as his giggles while Steve had sung.

“You can remember all that drink stuff, it’s so complicated, and people make these bullshit crazy orders—”

“...that’s just memorizing, Harrington,” Billy sighed.

“I couldn’t do it,” Steve told him, honestly. “You were telling that lady all about, like, the history of France when she ordered something—”

“I told her where cognac was made,” Billy told him, laughing. “I’m not a history professor, jesus—”

“It was really interesting! I fall asleep when most people talk about history,” Steve admitted, grimacing. “I actually went home and looked some of it up! And then I pretended it was in your voice so I could stay awake.”

“Oh my god,” Billy groaned.

“I always find the smart people! I’m like a smartness-sniffer, like a drug sniffer dog,” Steve told him, trying to support his case, as Billy started laughing his ass off again. “I’m serious, like, I dated the smartest girl in highschool, and I ended up friends with the smartest kid in her little brother’s friend group, and look how smart Robin is—”

“Jesus Hobgoblin Christ,” Billy mumbled.

“I’m telling you, you’re smart, don’t mess with me on this, I’ll get Robin and Jonathan backing me up.” Billy made a weird gulping noise, like glugging faucet, and Steve frowned at his phone. “I mean it,” he insisted. “Who the hell told you you weren’t? Bull shit, man.”

“Sure wish I actually was who you think I am,” Billy said softly, and Steve couldn’t take it, he stuck his tongue out and made a loud PTHBBBBBT noise into the phone.

“You’re perfect, shut up,” Steve told him. “You’re great. I—I have receipts, okay, I can—I can present evidence to the court—”

“You’re so fucking weird,” Billy told him, his laughter soft again. “How come you’re way the hell away, I wanna see you, you freak of nature.”

“You’re still coming Friday, right,” Steve asked, again, and Billy laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Can’t believe you want to drive all the way out here to see me,” Steve told him, rolling onto his back to beam at the ceiling. “Gonna hug you so hard.”

“Can’t believe you miss me so much you want me to,” Billy said, laughing. “We still doing this motel sleepover thing? You didn’t, uh, you don’t have a better offer?”

“What the hell better offer could there be,” Steve whispered, trying to imagine, and Billy laughed.

“Oh, shit, somebody actually wants a drink,” he said, and Steve laughed.

“See you Friday,” he said, and didn’t hang up.

“...yeah, yeah, see you Friday, Harrington,” Billy said, before the line went dead, and Steve could hear his smile.

He called Robin Thursday, determined not to tell her about the thongs. He’d tried one on, in a panic at two-fifteen in the morning, when he suddenly woke, his heart pounding, to a dream where Billy was willing to marry him if he only wore a thong, but the damn thing didn’t fit.

He yanked it over his feet—it felt like a stretchy, fancy rubber band—and stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, feeling like a moron with the tip of his dick sticking up over the band, the red mark around his waist from his briefs, and his hairy legs. The cheap motel toilet seat lid creaked alarmingly as he sat on it, groaning into his arms, the image of his dream-self chasing around the courthouse naked because his stupid lace thong didn’t fit still stuck in his head.

It was hard not to further imagine the way Tommy’s lip would have curled. Steve had thought—they’d practised kissing on each other, before dates, and after, a couple times, when the dates had been shitty. Tommy’d been the one to undo Steve’s jeans, the day before he stopped returning calls.

The idea of Billy grimacing at the damn thongs had Steve yanking it off again. He actually threw it in the toilet, and stomped out, chanting ‘fuck,’ over and over, before he remembered it’d clog the damn plumbing and some poor motel lady did not get paid enough to fish a thong out of the pipes with Steve’s dick hair still on it. He turned on his heel and ran back in, splashing around in the toilet with his bare hand, glad at least that he hadn’t flushed it down.

He wrapped it in toilet paper, and threw it in the trash, but it soaked through, red and black lace and soggy toilet paper, and he yanked it out again, hissing furiously through his teeth, and disentangled it from the previous night’s dental floss.

When he called Robin, later that morning, with pants on, he considered asking her how the hell to get toilet paper off a wet lacy thong. Would she even know, he wondered, flopping back on the bed. Did she even like that stuff? Maybe only men did, on women, he thought. He suddenly wanted to ask, but Robin was talking about her custom Xena-themed guitar case strap, and he couldn't really think of a way to ask. When she paused, he sighed. “Sounds rad."

"You're barely listening," she told him. "What's up?"

"Remind me not to fuck this up like I did with Tommy,” he told her, dully, staring at the ceiling, and she snorted a laugh.

“Nah,” she said, thoughtfully, “—Tommy was a fuckface. Good job on that one.”

Steve bit his lips, remembering waking after their mutual jaerk-off session, kind of excited to get Tommy over again and see where things went, and Tommy never picking up his calls again. Tommy still called, occasionally, and said things like “I have a fiance now,” before hanging up. Steve still wondered, sometimes, whether he could have been less himself, and still had a best friend. “...yeah, I guess,” he said, sighing.

“Billy’s better,” she told him, and Steve opened his mouth to brag, but she cut him off with “—he actually likes you,” and he deflated. “You gonna get him to the courthouse while he’s in town?” she asked, teasing, and Steve pthbbbbbt’d her.

Steve buzzed around all day Friday, grinning at everyone like Billy was coming from another country, and Steve hadn’t seen him in years. Dalton asked if they were about to meet his new girlfriend, and Steve had to tear himself away from his phone, blushing, to explain Billy was the bartender at work. “He is not my girlfriend,” he emphasized, sighing. “We’re just—”

“...boyfriends?” Dalton asked, and Steve glared at him, wondering how Robin had gotten to his Kool-aid.

“We’re friends!” Steve told him, feeling his cheeks heat further. “Everybody keeps asking me that!” Dalton raised his eyebrows and nodded. “Best friends,” Steve bragged, and Dalton’s eyebrows rose impossibly higher. “Look, I know it’s dumb, I just really like him—”

“Oh, I can see that,” Dalton said, nodding slowly as he tuned his bass. “...everybody can see that.”

The door banged, and Steve was on his feet so fast he almost dropped his coffee, but it was just Javi and Wesley, the guitarist and drummer.

“Oh, hey,” said Steve, sitting back down, and tapping his foot.

“...no need to get so excited to see us,” Wesley said.

“...you’re not his bartender,” Dalton told them, with the significant glance Steve had begun to associate with anyone around he and Billy, and he groaned.

He’d almost forgotten he was waiting for Billy, a couple hours in, when he looked up and saw him standing awkwardly off to the side. Steve sprang up mid-song to jump down off the stage, run over, and throw his arms around him. Billy grunted with shock as Steve lifted him a little off the ground in a hug, and then hugged him back, slowly, tucking his hot face in Steve’s shoulder.

Steve leaned back and swung him a little, relishing his weight, then let go and stepped back. He couldn’t stop smiling. “You’re here,” he said, and Billy laughed, glancing behind Steve.

“You stopped mid-song,” Dalton said—and he didn’t even sound mad, just bewildered.

“Sorry,” Billy told him, grimacing.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Steve told him, throwing his arm around Billy’s shoulders, and dragging him over to introduce him to the guys. “This is Billy Hargrove!”

“....hi,” Billy said, sounding a little strangled, and side-eyeing Steve.

“He’s my best friend. We’re gonna get friend-married,” Steve announced, and Javi played a weird discordant chord on his guitar. Billy smacked his face with his hand.

“—as soon as he says yes,” Steve amended, and everyone looked even more disbelieving.

“I’m...gonna go sit down,” Billy said, extricating himself and wandering a few feet away to sit on the floor. “Go rehearse,” he muttered. His ears were bright red, and Steve wanted to touch them, but he cleared his throat, and jumped back up on the stage, giddy with the contact high of putting his arms around Billy Hargrove.

“Lemme get this, uh,” Wesley cleared his throat, “—straight,” he muttered. “They’re friends?”

“Friends,” Steve said, nodding. He waggled his eyebrows at Billy and played just enough of the riff from Owner of a Lonely Heart that Billy burst out snickering, and a chorus of ‘Whaaaat’s and ‘Oh my god’ s went up around him.

When they breaked, Steve was off the stage again in a flash.  “So, I was thinking,” he told Billy, dropping next to him on the boards to slide an arm around him, and tug him close enough that Steve got a whiff of Billy’s shampoo, and felt his cheeks heat. He cleared his throat, relaxing a little so they weren’t as tightly pressed together, but he forgot what he was gonna say, watching the flush spread across Billy’s freckled cheeks. Steve reached up and pressed his fingers to the tip of Billy’s reddened ear, feeling the warmth, and snickered.

“What were you thinking?” Billy growled, batting his hand away. “Stop poking me, Harrington—”

“Mmrm,” Steve said, squeezing him close again in a tight side-hug. “God, what’s it been, like, days? I need my Billy fix.” He leaned his head on Billy’s shoulder, sighing contentedly, and Billy groaned, sliding his arm around Steve, and letting his head thump against Steve’s hair.

“You’re so weird,” he whispered.

“You’re weird,” Steve fired back, at lightning speed, like a genius, and Billy started giggling, relaxing against him. Steve remembered how soft Billy’s hair had been on his pillow, when Steve had reached over and drunkenly patted it like a cat. He wished it wouldn’t be totally weird to run his fingers through it. “...we’re playing a set tonight, but there are other bands. I thought we could leave, get dinner, come back and listen?”

“You asking me to the dance, Harrington?” Billy asked, laughing, and Steve nodded.

“Yes, absolutely, we should dance,” he laughed, glad Billy had brought it up first, but Billy stiffened against him in the way he did when Steve was a little too much. Steve winced, and rolled it back. “I-I mean, if you want to. There—there are a couple bands you might like. We don’t have to. You’re probably tired.”

“...I am pretty tired,” Billy admitted, quietly, and Steve lifted his head off Billy’s shoulder, and pulled his arm back, inwardly cursing himself, but Billy squeezed him. “I wanna go. Though. We should go.”

“Okay,” Steve laughed, nodding with relief. “Sorry. I know I can be kind of...a lot.”

“No, don’t—” Billy sighed, slumping against him, and Steve laughed, putting an arm around him again, as Billy’s weight threatened to knock them both sideways. “You’re not—I mean, you—you’re not too much, jesus.”

Steve swallowed back a stinging in his eyes, feeling his cheeks heat further. It felt like a drop of sweat would sizzle away like water in a hot pan, and he laughed into Billy’s hair. “...you can always tell me to back off a little, though. I mean. I won’t get—weird about it, I promise, if you need a break—I was trying to give you a break coming here,” he laughed, grimacing. “—and then I just ended up begging you to come, but I can—I mean, I can hear ‘no’, I promise.”

“...I promise I’ll tell you if you’re ever too much,” Billy said, sighing. “You don’t need to give me breaks.”

“...I kinda wear people out,” Steve told him, grimacing. “I just—I know they don’t…” he paused, trying his words together like puzzle pieces. “Um,” he said finally, “—people try to—to stay, uh, they just get kind of...bored. With me.”

Billy narrowed his eyes. “I literally can’t imagine that happening,” he said, and the unexpected deadpan sarcasm slid into Steve like a really sharp knife, when the cut doesn’t hurt right away, and then wells up red, and drips everywhere.

He swallowed, clenching his jaw, and wondering why Billy had come, if he was already sick of it.

“Hey, hey, I mean that, I’m not gonna get bored,” Billy hissed. “Jesus, you look like a kicked puppy.”

Steve laughed, relaxing a little, because it wasn’t like Billy had known him for all that long. There was probably a while, yet, as long as Steve wasn’t weird about it.

“Will you get up here,” Dalton called over. “Stop mooning over each other for five minutes, maybe?” When Steve stomped back onstage, Dalton raised his eyebrows. “Hey, tonight,” he said, “—there are other bands, you should come early, bring your…” he trailed off, raising his eyebrows.

“Billy,” Steve supplied, annoyed. “His name’s Billy, he’s the new bartender.”

“Is that what they’re calling it now,” Wesley said, with a drum flourish, and Steve hoped to god Billy couldn’t hear them.

“You should bring him. After you take him to dinner.”

Steve opened his mouth, closed it, and then sidled closer. “Where are the good places for dinner, I’ve been getting burgers or whatever,” he whispered, and his old bandmates redeemed themselves, drawing around him to consider the merits of several local restaurants, with ratings for food, atmosphere, and price point.

Part One | Two | Three

[stevesnailbat]

hi! if you’re taking requests could you do steve x fem! reader based on carmen by lana del rey? please and thank you!

summary: Steve falls for a broken girl who seems to be beyond repair, but he really wants to fix her.

warnings: mentions of sex workers/prostitution, mentions of sex, mentions of abuse, age gap (4 years), angst, drug use (marijuana) and underage drinking

word count: 3.4K

a/n: I changed the fic a bit from the song’s lyrics (she’s 18 instead of 17, it takes place in Indiana), but it is based off of Carmen by Lana Del Rey to the best of my abilities. This is supposed to take place after the events season 3. Hope this is what you wanted, anon! Enjoy :)

Steve didn’t mean to fall for her, he really didn’t. But the first time he saw her, he fell, and it was a hard fall.

He wasn’t expecting to meet anybody when he went to Indianapolis for the weekend, he just wanted to get away for a while. So, he got a hotel room downtown and made his way to the hotel bar to forget it all. That was when he saw her, sitting across the way from him. She was staring down into her drink, stirring it with her finger. He ordered a Jack and coke before starting to make his way over to the girl, but was stopped in his tracks by what he witnessed.

His vision was slightly blurred from the two drinks he already had but from afar, she had looked older than him by at least a year. Her red dress hugged her figure in all the right places, matching her red lipstick perfectly; it really was her color. But as he got closer, he realized that something didn’t add up. She was a lot younger than he had actually established, but her eyes weren’t. Her eyes made her look more mature, more experienced, filled with much more hurt than most.

“Hello, darlin’.” she called out to him after catching him staring, a smirk on her face as she spoke. “You lookin’ for somethin’? Or someone?”

“Not really, I’m—I’m sorry I was staring. You just caught my eye.” he stammered, blushing at the thought of getting caught staring. “I’m Steve, by the way.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Steve.” she replied, smoothly extending her hand to shake his as she smiled up at him.

“What’s someone like you doing in a place like this all by yourself?” Steve said after sitting at the barstool next to her, finally getting to see her closely in the dimly-lit bar.

“What do you mean by that?” she asked in a sincere yet sharp tone, biting on the straw that was in her drink as he quirked his head at her question. “Someone like me? As in, someone so pretty? Or someone so young?”

“Well—Both, I guess?” he replied, feeling confused about his own question; it had came out like word vomit. “You’re a beautiful young girl and there’s a lot of guys who are looking for girls just like you, for the wrong reasons.”

She was taking a drink as he spoke and almost choked on it when he said the last part, partly laughing and partly shocked. As she coughed, she began to giggle about his words. He only stared at her with a furrowed brow, confused as to why it was laughable.

“Oh, darlin’. You’re an innocent one, aren’t ya?” she laughed out, resting her hand on top of his as his confusion persisted. “This isn’t my first weekend sitting in this exact spot at this bar. I know my way around these men.”

He sat there quietly for a moment, staring at her hand on his as he replayed her laugh in his mind. It was the kind of laugh he wanted to hear over and over again, the kind that made his stomach go into knots with joy. She waited for his response for a few seconds, but got nothing in return as what she said finally clicked for him. He was thinking about his next move, how he’d react without seeming off. Honestly, he knew what she meant and didn’t really care, he was too intrigued to be off put.

“How old are you?” he responded, almost completely ignoring her previous implications.

“Eighteen.” she said with a grin, finally pulling her hand off of his to grab her drink. “Before you ask, I have connections and a very convincing fake.”

“Did you have anyone you were supposed to meet tonight? Or were you here to find one?” he implored, genuine interest prevalent in his voice as he felt himself becoming entranced by the girl.

“I didn’t have one for the night, so I came here to find someone. Someone innocent like you that would take me back to a hotel room and have some fun.” she retorted, the words coming out smoothly as she spoke, like she had done plenty of times before.

Steve sat there with widened eyes, staring down at the bold girl. It felt so wrong to be talking about that with a girl he just met, but to her it was only business. Really, he didn’t want to have sex with her, it felt too wrong. He wanted to know her, know why she’s doing what she is, why her eyes look so mature. If she hated what she did, she was really good at hiding it, because Steve couldn’t read her.

“So, what do you say?” she asked after almost a minute of silence from Steve, reaching to caress the top of his hand again. “I’m not gonna rob you or steal from ya. Just a simple transaction, darlin’.”

“Yeah—Yeah, sure.” Steve replied, his voice halfway unsteady as she grabbed his hand again; this time she furrowed her brow at his demeanor.

Instead of asking what was wrong, she only pulled him from his barstool and towards the hotel lobby. She tangled their fingers together and smirked up at him deviously while he led the way towards his room. Once they got into the room, he didn’t try to kiss her, touch her, or do anything to her, which confused the hell out of her. He was planning to pay her for just being there, she didn’t understand that. Steve really just wanted someone to talk to, he saw something in her and he wanted to save her. She watched as he sat on the edge of the bed, finally locking eyes with her as she slipped her heels from her feet.

“You want me to be on top?” she giggled while wiggling her eyebrows. “I’m not much of a dominant, if that’s what you were looking for, but I can try.”

“Where are you from?” he asked, completely ignoring her advances as she began to straddle his lap.

“Kokomo.” she said while unbuttoning his shirt, trailing off as she stared at him while trying to figure out what he was thinking about. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I want to know you.” Steve stated plainly, still staring at her as he pulled her hands from his shirt.

“No you don’t.” she warned. “I don’t think you’d like me if you knew me.”

“What could be so bad about you? I’ve got demons too.” he asked desperately, needing to know more. “I’m sure I could find out some things about you just by the way you act. I’m pretty good at that, most people I know are pretty fucked up too, for other reasons of course.”

“Do you hear yourself? You’re asking a sex worker to tell you more about herself right now. I should be riding your —“

“I didn’t take you up here to have sex with you.” he explained, making her eyes widen with fear; she didn’t know what he meant, but it could’ve meant anything. “I—I don’t know. I came to Indy to get away, I didn’t plan on coming here to fuck someone, you know? I just wanted a weekend away from everything in my hometown —“

“Where?”

“Hawkins.”

“Isn’t that the town that a bunch of people died in last summer? On the Fourth?” she asked. “In that big mall fire?"

His stomach churned at the thought of the people who died because of the Mind Flayer. He hadn’t been able to go a day without thinking about what happened, without guilt filling his conscience for no apparent reason. There wasn’t really a reason for him to feel any guilt, he did all he could do to help. But, he still felt like it wasn’t enough. He realized he hadn’t responded to her question once she tapped on his arm lightly, bringing him back to reality.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” he said bluntly. “I can’t handle being there all the time, sometimes I just need to get away.”

“So you said yes to bringing me up here, why?” she questioned, still confused about the situation.

“I don’t know, honestly. Maybe I just need someone to talk to? Or maybe I want to know you? Probably both, though.” he laughed, realizing how ridiculously desperate and sad he sounded.

“Like I said, you don’t want to know me.” she said, crawling from his lap to sit on the edge of the bed next to him. “I don’t think you’d want to hear about the things I've been through.”

“I could probably guess a few of those things.” he responded bitterly, knowing that he had probably been through similar situations. “Your parents hated you, so you left. You had to make ends meet in some way and you met some guy who promised you he could help you make plenty of money. So, you took the opportunity and now you’re stuck doing this. You had to grow up too quick and be the provider that you never had in your life.”

She was silent, staring down at her hands as he spoke. He was right and it felt like a punch to the gut when he nailed every part of her situation. She didn’t know how he would even realize those things, but she didn’t want to ask.

“In a way, I wish I could’ve been like you.” Steve said, continuing in the place of her response while she went mute. “I wish I would’ve had the guts to run away, to do something for myself. Instead, I stayed where I wasn’t wanted. My parents hated me and still do, I’m a disappointment to my dad and he reminds me all the time. But what am I supposed to do now? I’m twenty-one, living in a lonely one bedroom apartment in a dead-end town working a dead-end job, waiting desperately for my dad to give me a second chance.”

She finally looked up at him, seeing the true sadness in his eyes. He was right, all he wanted was someone like him to talk to. Looking into her eyes made him realize something, he saw something in her and he didn’t want to save her, but himself. Before she could stop herself, she reached up to cup his cheek softly. He almost flinched at her delicate touch, but felt at ease once her warmth spread to his cheek. She pulled his face down to hers and pressed her lips against his in a gentle kiss. It wasn’t a passionate, lustful kiss like he expected, but one filled with comfort and understanding. It made her feel things that a kiss had never made her feel; it gave her more pleasure than any other man had ever given her. It felt right, like their lips were meant to collide in that way.

Gentle kisses and caring touches were the only things that followed, and she didn’t mind. They laid in the hotel bed together all night, only talking about their fucked up lives and laughing about how ridiculous it all sounded. Steve wanted so desperately to stay in the moment forever, with her in his arms as she mumbled to him while drifting to sleep. Neither of them would admit it, but they both knew there was something more than comfort that they both felt that night.

“You do not need to pay me, Steve.” she insisted the next morning when it was time for her to leave, watching him pull out his wallet. “We didn’t do anything that deserves payment on my part."

“But I do. You did more for me than having sex would have. I really needed this. I’m giving you more than what you usually get for a night and that’s final. I know you don’t get to keep it all.” he replied, kissing her forehead as he slipped two $100 bills into her hand. “Can I have your number?”

She nodded while giving him a grateful smile, sliding the money into her pocket before getting a pen to write down her number on a scrapped piece of paper.

“Call me during the day, alright? I won’t be home all the time, but if I am, I’ll answer.” she said, holding onto his hand for a moment while she gave him the scribbled number.

He nodded, a twinge of pain and jealousy mixing in his stomach as he thought about what she did. She wouldn’t be home at night because she’d be doing exactly what she was doing when he met her. He knew she was one of the best at what she did, as she had told him the night before. It was sick to think about, since she was so young yet so experienced. But, he knew she was doing what she had to do to give herself the best life she could. She’d get out of it soon, like she told him.

After that day, she was on his mind all the time. They talked at least three times a week once he got back to Hawkins, he just desperately wanted to hear her voice all the time. She needed him, too. She needed to talk to him to feel comforted, to remind herself that not all men were like the guys she met at that bar every night. Neither of them would admit it, but they both knew there was something more than comfort that they were feeling from each other’s voices.

“Hey Dingus.” Robin whispered one day in the Family Video they still both worked at, hitting his shoulder harshly as he organized movies behind the checkout counter. “Some girl just walked in alone, now’s your chance to redeem yourself from your last failed attempt at flirting.”

“I’m not interested, Rob.” he replied, his attention not wavering from the cart in front of him. “I told you that I’m not looking for —“

“Excuse me!” a voice called out from the other side of the counter and Steve froze, it sounded just like Y/N. “Where’s the horror section?”

Steve turned around slowly as Robin began to point in the direction of the horror movies and his jaw nearly dropped on the floor. She wore the smirk he knew all too well on her face as she pretended to listen to what Robin said, knowing that he was staring at her.

“I’ll show her!” Steve blurted out, coming around the counter quickly to grab her hand.

Robin raised her eyebrows as he grabbed her, confused about his change in demeanor. Y/N followed him to the back of the store where the horror movies were, giggling at his wildly confused expression. He turned to her as he ran his fingers through his hair, but grabbed for her waist to stay standing when she pressed her lips against his in a deep kiss. After a few moments of a passionate kiss, he pulled away to stare down at her with disbelief.

“What are you —“

“I came to see you! I’m taking the weekend off…but nobody really knows.” she said with a smile on her face, reaching up to cup his cheek in the same way she did on the night they met. “I was supposed to perform tonight, but it got cancelled. So I decided it would be a perfect time to come and see the infamous town, and to see you.”

“Perform what?” he asked, eyebrows raised in confusion.

“I sing at the bar sometimes, that’s all.” she said, shrugging it off. “I don’t get paid as much, but it’s a break from the usual. I get tired of sucking dick that I don’t want, y’know?”

He laughed bitterly at the last part, nodding in agreement to hide his jealousy about the situation. She saw through the laugh, though. She was good at reading people and understood why he was upset, she knew that he was falling for her and she was falling for him, hard. She didn’t want that to happen, but it did. It was always tough to fall in love with someone when the job requires having sex with other people, but it was strictly business to her. Hell, her and Steve hadn’t even actually had sex yet, but she knew that it would be everything she really wanted and more.

“I thought maybe we could go to the fair, like, on a date.” she suggested hopefully, still smiling up at him as she tried to ease his worries by running her fingers along his forearm. “Since you said you were gonna go eventually, and I’ve never been to one.”

“Oh—Right! Of course we can. I’m off in fifteen minutes, we can go then if you want to wait for me.” he replied, butterflies in his stomach at the thought of her actually wanting to spend time with him of all people.

“I’ll waste some time finding a movie and meet you outside when you leave, alright?” she said as her grin widened. “We can go to the fair then watch a scary movie to give you an excuse to hold me close.”

“Okay, I need to get back up there before Robin gets suspicious, though.” he chuckled, kissing her quickly before making his way back to the register.

Robin told him that he needed to explain what was happening, and he promised he would another day because the only thing on his mind was getting to spend time with Y/N. The rest of the day went smoothly, she seemed genuinely happy and so did he. The summer heat put a toll on them as they walked around the fair, so they settled for ice cream instead of some fried food. Steve couldn’t keep his eyes off of her as she sat across from him while eating her ice cream cone. Not even in a sexual way, though. She was content and enjoying her time, which made his heart swell. There was a smile on her face as they sat there, not wanting to moment to end. She didn’t want to go back to the harsh reality she lived in Indianapolis, she wanted to stay in the small town with Steve instead.

When they had gotten home, she pulled out a joint for them to smoke, so he would relax for once instead of feeling so stressed. There was no doubt that they would be cramped in Steve’s apartment that night, but neither of them seemed to mind. She wanted to be as close to him as she could, and he wasn’t complaining about her deciding to sit on his lap while they watched the movie together. Although it was supposed to be scary, their highs made all of the horror aspects seem hilarious. Neither of them were really scared of movies anymore, considering all that they had been through.

“I think I’m gonna leave, leave the city.” Y/N said, tracing circles on Steve’s chest as she rested her head on his shoulder after the movie finished. “I don’t want to do it anymore, I don’t want to have sex with random men anymore. I’m going numb to true feelings because of everything I’ve been through.”

“Why the sudden change?” he asked, hoping that the answer was him.

“I thought about it a lot over the last month. You—You kinda inspired me when you told me that you wished you could break free like I did. It made me realize that I needed to do it again, break free again. I told them I wanted to cut back after that night, I only worked four nights instead of six and I performed for the other three.” she started, avoiding his gaze as if she was afraid of her own words. “I’m just so—so fucked up. I feel like you would never feel the way I do about you. I don’t know if I want you to, honestly. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Yeah, it hurts to know what you’ve been doing when we get off the phone every night, there’s no doubt about that.” he replied bluntly, making her wince at his words. “But the fact that you want to change for me? Obviously you want something different for yourself. And all I hope is that the something different is me.”

“I think I’m in love with you, Steve.” she whispered with tears in her eyes, like she was afraid to say it too loudly or it would all go away.

“I think I’m in love with you too, Y/N. And I—I think that it’s alright. We can handle that.”

[fanofnightz]

Booze (Part 6)

Nikki Sixx x Reader

Summary: You are the lead singer of the opening act of Mötley Crüe and you've been on tour with them for about three months now. After a concert, you have an argument with your mum which leads to you telling Nikki Sixx about your demons and spending the whole night with him. After that, things between the two of you get complicated but you can't stay away from each other, so you end up with each other night after night. After you realize that your behavior is affecting your work and isn't good for both of you, you break things off with Nikki - but that doesn't stop him from telling you that he loves you. You still leave but after that, you finally admit to yourself that you love him too, knowing that it's too late to go back to him.

Words: about 6800

Warnings: cursing, drinking, angst, fluff

Note: Guys I'm so goddamn sorry! It took me ages to even start writing this part! And it took me like... 4 months to finish it. I don't even know why, I had it planned for so long! But there was so much stuff I had to do and I never found the time or the inspiration to write so it just waited for me in my drafts, making me feel like shit for not finishing it Anywayyy here it is... if anyone is still there to read because you have probably already forgotten about me haha

Taglist: @bandzrus @mrs-bucky-wintersoldier-barnes @swoopygorl @oh-well1 @anxious-diabetic @sharon6713 @pfft-halsey @freddiessmallnipples @crazysaladchopshop @motleycrueee @ikbenplant @waywardprincess666 @fandomshit6000 @unknownoblivion @stella20131991 @slashscowboyboots @terriiiiible @gingerspicetalks

It had been two weeks since you had broken things off with Nikki. Two weeks since you had told him that you couldn't go on like this, that you had to stop hooking up every night. Two weeks since Nikki had told you that he was in love with you and two weeks since you had left him right after the words had left his mouth. Since then, you hadn't talked to him. You didn't know what to say and even the smallest conversation seemed to be impossible.

During the days, you worked on new songs to distract yourself and after the shows, when you had gone to a club with the boys, you drowned yourself in alcohol and drugs to get the black haired bassist out of your head. Usually, you hooked up with a stranger afterwards, but none of these men were able to make you feel like Nikki did. They didn't know how to push your buttons, how to make you feel like you were falling from heaven. A few days ago, you had caught yourself moaning Nikki's name while a guy you had met at a bar had tried to get you off. After that, you had left him and you had spent the rest of the night drinking and crying in your hotel room.

And you didn't only cry because you missed Nikki. You did also cry because you didn't know what to do or how to act. You had never been in love before. And you had tried everything not to fall for Nikki. But you had failed and now you felt the panic coming up whenever you thought about it.

From what you'd heard and seen, you knew that Nikki wasn't acting much different. He was moody and drank even more than usual and whenever you saw him, he had his arms around either one or two groupies, who were drooling over him as if he was their last meal. The worse thing was that you were actually jealous of these girls. And knowing that you would never be able to be in their place without fucking things up and hurting Nikki and yourself made you even more desperate.

Of course, the boys had recognized your weird behaviour. Your band and Tommy didn't know anything, so they had tried to ask you about it several times but without you telling them anything. Vince and Mick, who knew what was going on, hadn't told them either and you were more than just a little thankful for them keeping their mouths shut.

Vince had tried to talk to you about it once, but you had been really drunk at that point so you had screamed at him and had thrown a bottle of Jack Daniels at his head - unfortunately, you had missed him.

Just like they had done it before, the boys tried to explain your weird behaviour with the fact that a roadie had told the press about the argument with your mother. Because of that, there wasn't a magazine without an article about you and the 'anger issues' you seemed to have. You had accidentally fueled the fire a week ago, as you had gotten asked about the incident in an interview for at least ten times. At some point, you had jumped up from your chair and had screamed at the reporter. You had said some really mean things and after that, you had stormed out of the room.

Things had gotten even worse as the interview had been shown on every news channel. Everyone had seen you freak out over the questions about your mother - even your mum herself. She had tried to contact you for several times since then, but you had never answered the calls.

You had made the decision to cut her out of your life. For about twenty years, she had tortured you with her lifestyle and with her way of making it seem like she was the victim. It was time for you to get rid of her toxic behavior.

That decision hadn't been easy for you. After all, she still was your mother, the woman that had cared for you for most of your life. But when you thought back on your childhood, you just remembered the many men she had been with and the many houses you had lived in. You had never been her number one priority and she had taken any chance of a proper home away from you. Not to mention the trust issues and the fears of any kind of relationship, you still had to deal with because of her.

So you had come to the conclusion that your life was better with her not being in it and the first step of cutting the strings that attached you to your mother was not answering her calls.

Still, you had told everyone that these calls (and the dramatic messages your mum left on your mailbox whenever you hadn't picked up the phone) were the reason that you acted so weirdly different and in some way, you wanted it to be like that. Everything was better than the real reason.

The only good thing about the whole situation was the fact that you wrote better songs than ever. The song you had worked on with the band as you had told Nikki that you had to stop ending up in each others arms every night was finished and you wanted to perform it for the first time tonight. Another song you had written shortly after you had realized that you were in love with Nikki (you hadn't been able to sleep that night so you had started to write instead) was almost ready for the recording. And after the terrible interview, you had written a song as well in which you had let out all of the anger you felt towards the press and you and the boys wanted to start working on it as soon as you had finished recording the other song.

Unfortunately, because of these songs, the boys kept asking you why you were able to write ballads and break up songs all of a sudden - something you had never been good at because you had never really experienced it before. You had told them that you had read some really good books that had inspired you, but whenever you said that, you saw the distrust in their eyes.

Because of the new song you wanted to perform, you were really exited for tonight's show. The song meant a lot to you and the lyrics were really different to what you usually wrote. You were praying that the fans would like it.

Your exitement and nervousness made you walk around in your hotel room non-stop. You had two hours left until you had to be down in the lobby to drive to the venue and that meant that you had about an hour left until you had to start getting ready.

You didn't know what to do. You tried to sit down and play the guitar, but only a minute later you put the instrument down and started to walk around the room again. Being this nervous before a show was really untypical for you, so you didn't know how to calm yourself down.

A knock on the door made you stop in your movements and you walked over to the door, wondering who was standing on the other side of it. Maybe it's Nikki, a little voice in your head whispered and you couldn't help but imagine what would happen if the voice was right. Hope and the little 'what if'-question were bastards.

You opened the door and you got a little angry at yourself for being disappointed that it wasn't Nikki who was standing in front of you. It was Vince.

Since the blond singer had stopped trying to get in your pants, you had become something like friends, so you weren't that surprised that he was at your door. What surpised you was the look on his face.

Vince usually was an easy-going guy with a cheeky smile on his lips and even though he was a real drama queen that loved to get into a fight, he never was that serious, so you got a little worried as you recognized that his mouth was pressed into a thin line and that he seemed to be very stressed.

"Vince what-"

"Please tell me that Nikki's with you right now!", he interrupted you and leaned forward a little to look into your hotel room. Him mentioning Nikki made you tense up immediately.

"Why should he be with me?", you asked in confusion, not able to hide the bitter sound in your voice, "What's going on, Vince?"

"Fuck", the blond singer cursed, guiding a hand through his hair and biting his lip nervously, "I was hoping that he would be with you. He's nowhere to be found! Everyone is looking for him already!"

You started to get worried yourself. You had to be at the venue in two hours and if Nikki wouldn't show up, Doc would have to cancel the whole gig. Rather that or Dan would have to take Nikki's place for that one show.

"What happened?", you asked, already putting on your shoes and your jacket. You wouldn't just sit in your hotel room and wait while everyone was out there, looking for the bassist. "Are you sure that he didn't go out for a drink or something like that? Maybe he'll just show up in an hour, bragging about some chick he fucked in the restroom of a bar."

Vince shook his head. "The band wanted to do a meeting with Doc an hour ago. We wanted to discuss the next shows because Nikki had planned some really cool new stuff. He would never miss something that's that important to him."

"There must be a reason for him being gone!", you said while stepping out of the door and closing it behind you, "Did he mention something earlier?"

"Nikki didn't.", Vince answered, suddenly a little hesitant, "But after dinner, Doc told him that someone wanted to call him and Nikki immediately left to go to his room and pick up the phone."

"Did Doc mention who's been on the other line?", you asked. Suddenly, you had a bad premonition of who the caller could have been.

Vince nodded. "His mother."

"Shit.", you cursed and now, you were even more worried about Nikki. Nikki hadn't been in a good mood during the last few days (and mostly, it was your fault) and a call from his mother, the woman that had always treated him like shit and that he hadn't talked to in years, was the last thing he needed at the moment.

"We have to find him.", you told Vince, "As fast as possible!"

You walked down the hallway with fast steps and Vince followed you. "Do you have an idea where he could be?", he asked.

You didn't have to think about it for long. There was only one place that came to your mind. "Yes.", you nodded, "But I think it's better if I go there on my own."

"Are you sure-"

"No.", you cut Vince off as you saw the concerned look on his face, "But if he really is where I think he is, then you shouldn't come with me. This is a thing between me and Nikki, no matter what happened in the past."

"Okay.", Vince nodded slowly, "But if you're not back in two hours, Doc has to cancel the show."

"I'll try my best.", you promised while you entered the elevator and pushed the button to the highest floor.

You were by far not ready to talk to Nikki, but finding him and making sure that he was okay was more important than the things that stood between the two of you.

-

The door that lead up onto the roof was open. Somebody had destroyed the lock and you weren't able to close the door fully as you stepped through it and started to go up the stairs.

Now that you had seen the door, you were 100% certain that Nikki was on the roof and as you saw a little puddle of Whisky on the ground, you knew that he was drunk as well. It was as if history reapeated itself, but this time, Nikki was the one who had a problem, not you. You got a little scared of what you would see when you came out of the next door that was just two meters in front of you.

You were even more afraid of Nikki's reaction to you stepping out onto the roof. Would he start to shout at you? Would he tell you to go away? Would he threaten to jump off the roof? Or would he lay there, completely passed out because he had drunken himself into a coma?

You took a deep breath as you opened the door, trying to surpress the urge to just walk away again. Nikki must have wanted me to find him, you tried to convince yourself, if not, then he would't have gone up here.

Stepping out onto the roof, you looked around, searching for the bassist. You found him immediately.

He was sitting about ten meters in front of you, dangerously close to the rim of the roof, an empty bottle of Whisky next to him and another bottle in his right hand. He took a sip out of the bottle just as you stepped forward and he froze in his movements, but he didn't turn around or say a word. After a few seconds in which you had stared at the back of his head, he put the bottle down again, still staring out at the streets of Vancouver.

Him not telling you to go to hell seemed to be a good sign, so you slowly walked up to him. It was as if he was a wild animal you tried to get close to. As if he could run away if you moved too fast.

Hesitantly, you sat down next to him. You were close, but not close enough for your bodies to touch. Nikki still wasn't looking at you, but him leaning in your direction a little was his way of telling you that he accepted your company.

You sat there in silence for a few minutes. You didn't want to say anything, knowing that a false word could make Nikki go completely nuts. The silence between the two of you gave you enough time to look at him and you didn't like what you saw.

Nikki's hair was messier than usual, as if he had guided his hands through it for way too many times. His eyes were a little red and watery and you had to ask yourself if they looked like that because of the alcohol or because he had cried. His arms were wrapped around his legs and he had pulled them up against his chest. He didn't look like the confident rockstar everyone saw in him - he looked like a little boy that had lost his mother.

After five more minutes of silence, the sun started to go down, painting the sky in a bright orange. You pushed away the thoughts of the upcoming show. Nikki was way more important than that.

The bass player took another sip out of the Whisky bottle - it was halfway empty by now. But instead of putting it back on the ground next to him, he handed it over to you. You grabbed the bottle and looked at him sheepishly. Your eyes met for a second, then he looked away quickly. Still, you had seen the pain in his eyes.

"What are you doing here, Y/N?", he asked as you put the bottle up to your lips to take as sip. Then you took at least three as you heard his voice. Usually, it was strong and firm, but now, it was quiet and slurry and sad and broken.

"I don't know.", you admitted, "Everyone was looking for you and I kind of knew that you were up here. I didn't want you to be alone with this."

"You could've just told one of the guys. You didn't have to come here.", Nikki commented.

"But I wanted to.", you replied before you gave your words a second thought. Nikki now looked at you again, a questioning look on his face.

"I mean", you tried to explain yourself, "the others wouldn't understand it like I do. And you've been there for me for so many times now - it's my turn to be there for you."

Nikki didn't response, so you decided to say what he already knew while you gave the bottle back to him. As he grabbed it, your hands brushed. "Vince told me that your mum has called you."

Taking a big sip of Whisky, Nikki nodded slowly. "Yep."

In that moment, he looked so defenseless that you wanted to cry. Seeing him like that was something you couldn't bare.

"You don't have to tell me about it.", you almost whispered, "But I'll listen if you want to."

Again, Nikki, didn't say a word. He didn't even look at you. He just took another sip of Whisky while his eyes were glued to the city underneath.

You waited for what felt like two minutes, then you sighed. "I can leave, if you want me to. I'd totally understand."

As he remained silent, you got up, brushing the dust off of your pants. You wanted to stay with him, but if he didn't want you to, then you wouldn't.

You turned around, blinking away the stupid tears the had formed in the corner of your eyes. You really understood that he didn't want you to be with him. You had broken his heart in the worse kind of way. He would do right by hating you.

Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist and you froze and turned around again. This was the first time that he touched you since two weeks and your body immediately wanted more. It was embarassing how much this normal touch made you feel. You felt like you were fourteen again and you didn't like that at all. You yourself broke things off with him, you told yourself, so stop feeling like this.

Expectingly, you looked down on Nikki. You had never seen him looking so desperate. "Don't", he whispered. And then a little louder, with an almost begging sound in his voice: "Please stay."

You gave him a little nod and sat down again. Leaving wasn't even an option now. Not again. Not when he was this lost in his own desperation.

He took another sip of Whisky and you looked at him while you were waiting for him to say something. In that moment, you wanted nothing more than kissing his pain away, but you knew that you weren't in the position to kiss him, so you didn't.

"My mum hasn't changed at all.", Nikki mumbled against the bottle and then he took the next big sip, "She called me Frank, even though she knows that that's not my name anymore. And I thought that she called because she wanted to fix things - to get her son back. But she started talking about an interview she saw. And about the fact that I'm 'a big rich star now'. I didn't even get to say a word... I hung up after five minutes of her only talking about me being famous now."

You wanted to curse her out, but as you saw a tear rolling down Nikki's cheek, you knew that it wasn't the right moment for that. Instead of saying useless phrases, you slipped a little closer to Nikki and then you slowly rested your head on his shoulder. This little movement told him more than anything you could've said.

You felt Nikki holding his breath for a few seconds and you knew that he was thinking about how close the two of you were in that moment. For a second, you thought that he would push you away, but then he rested his head on top of yours.

The feeling of actually being save with him came over you and you tried to surpress it, knowing that it wouldn't be very helpful in that moment. But, of course, it didn't work and you caught yourself slipping even closer to Nikki.

Can't I just make another excuse?, you started to think while you sat there in comfortable silence, Can't I just have him for one more night?

But in the exact same moment, you knew that you, if you would do that, would never be able to tell him goodbye for another time. And then everything would start all over again.

Panic came over you and you wanted to get up and walk away, just to get rid of the way having Nikki this close to you made you feel. But you didn't move. Nikki was more important than you right now, and leaving him all alone again was a no-go. At least that's what you told yourself.

"I missed this.", Nikki suddenly mumbled - as if he had thought of the exact same things as you, "I missed being this close to you."

You didn't want to lie to him. You weren't even able to do it. Not in a moment like this. So you nodded and whispered a quiet 'Me too'.

In your head, you went back to all the nights you had spent with him, starting with the night that had started it all: the night on the roof in New York. Thinking about it, you realized that you wouldn't change what had happened that night if you could. But you would love to change a few other things and even thinking about it made your stomach fall. Would you ever be able to be with someone without messing things up because you were too scared to let people into your life?

You felt the sudden urge to apologize to Nikki for the pain you had caused. You had put him through a lot of shit, just because you had been too selfish to let him go. You had put his hopes up again and again and then you had destroyed them. And you hadn't even told him why.

"I'm sorry about the things I did.", you said without thinking about the kind of conversation that would follow, "I know that you've got worse things on your mind right now, but I can't just sit here and remain silent."

You slipped away from Nikki so you were able to look him in the face and your eyes met his blue-green ones. You saw the sadness behind them, but on his lips, a tiny smile appeared. It faded away just a second after.

"You don't have to be sorry.", the bassist shrugged his shoulders. His breath carassed your face and you smelled the alcohol on it, but his voice wasn't as slurry as it had been as you had started talking to him. The seriousness of your conversation had sobered him up a little. "I didn't stop trying to get into your life, even though I knew that you weren't ready for a relationship."

"But I never told you why.", you mumbled, not knowing why you wanted to talk about everything now. Maybe because Nikki had told you so much about himself and because you wanted to give something back to him. Or maybe it was just because you finally wanted to get rid of the stuff you had carried around with yourself for years without talking to anybody. And Nikki was the only person you didn't get a huge panic attack whenever you thought about telling him the whole truth. Because he deserved to know it.

"I didn't explain anything.", you continued talking and now you looked away because you weren't able to look into Nikki's eyes for any longer, "I kept you on distance and put your hopes up just to destroy them again. And then I left."

The last sentence was nothing but a whisper and your voice broke at the end of it. Talking about it was much harder than you had ever thought it would be. Not that you had ever expected yourself to do it.

"You don't have to tell me anything, Y/N.", Nikki whispered, his voice as quiet as yours, "It's okay if you're not comfortable with doing it."

But by the way he looked at you now, you knew that he wanted to know the truth. He just didn't want to make you feel like you had no other choice but telling him everything, now that you had started to talk about it. And him taking care of you like this made your heart beat a little faster.

"But I want to tell you about it.", you determinded. You wanted to tell him everything before you would get scared again. "You've told me so much about yourself. You have dropped your guard so many times and I never really appreciated it because I was too caught up in being afraid of letting you in. You trusted me and now it's my turn to trust you."

"You won't regret it.", Nikki promised. And you really hoped that he was right. As if he knew that you needed something to give you the courage to start talking, Nikki handed you the bottle of Whisky again and you flashed him a tiny smile and took a sip.

"My mother got left by the man she loved more than her own life.", you started to talk after you had taken a deep breath. "And she got lost in her sadness and fell apart because of it. She started drinking and staying out late. She was a shadow of the woman she used to be. And during that time, she almost forgot that I existed. She made me food and she was there when I needed something, but she stopped acting like a mother, you know? And she never talked to me about my father and I never told her how I felt about him leaving us after he had cheated on her. I never lost a word about the fact that I missed him and that I kept asking myself what a five year old girl could do wrong to make her dad leave her all of a sudden. He didn't even call on my birthday. Still, I kept waiting for him, just like my mum did."

You made a little pause to take another sip of Whisky while you watched a cab drive along the street underneath you and disappear around the next corner. Nikki didn't try to make a comment on your story so far and you were thankful for his silence. It helped you to think straight.

"As the years went by, my mum got sober, but she started having one boyfriend after another and we moved from apartment to apartment and from house to house. I already told you about that.", you continued talking, "But all the time, she told me how bad falling in love is. How much pain it causes and that you'll get left anyway. How my dad was the best example for men loving you and leaving you as soon as there's someone who's more exiting than you are. And when you hear stuff like that from an early age on, almost every day of the week, then you start to believe it yourself. As I grew older, I put up some rules for myself, containing that I would never fall in love and go through the hell my mother had gone through. No bonding, nothing but physical love, not letting anyone inside my heart far enough to hurt me."

You had to blink away some tears that had appeared in your eyes. Nikki noticed it, but he knew that you didn't want to be touched at the moment.

"Through the years, I started to get afraid of falling in love and being in a relationship more and more. I had seen what it had done to my mother and I didn't want to end up being like her. Being too afraid of letting somebody in, I never told anyone about the things I had to go through during my childhood. I was afraid that it could get used against me. That people would leave me as soon as they would know how fucked up I really am. And now that it's all across the news, it's like a nightmare coming true." You finished your monologue with another sip out of the Whisky bottle.

Nikki didn't say a word and you looked at him sheepishly. He was staring out at the city, but he looked at you as he felt your eyes resting on him.

"You're not your mother, Y/N.", he then told you, "I think I know you pretty damn well by now and you're a stronger person than she will ever be."

His look into your eyes was nearly hypnotic and you had to force yourself to look away again.

"I know.", you then mumbled, "But when you believe in something for years and years, then it takes time to get convinced of the opposite. And when you got betrayed by the most important people in your life, then it's hard to start trusting people again."

"Not everyone wants to hurt you.", Nikki told you, "You'd be surprised by how kind people can be if you let them in. And not every relationship breaks apart. If both want to make it work then-"

"Don't you understand?", you cut off Nikki and your voice got a little louder while you got up and took a few steps back, "I've seen love fail again and again. I stopped believing in something like real love that lasts forever. And when I think about being in a relationship, I can't stop thinking about how fucked up I am and about how I can't trust anyone even if I want to. I would destroy everything! I would freak out without any reason, just to keep myself from getting hurt and meanwhile, I would hurt the person I'm with a thousand times and more! And even if that person wanted to work things out... at one point they would realize that I'm not worth all the drama."

You didn't know when you had started crying, but all of a sudden, you felt the tears that streamed down your cheeks and you quickly turned your face to the side so Nikki didn't see them.

But he had noticed them already. With a sigh, he got up and walked towards you. You shrugged back like a scared animal and he immediately stopped walking and looked at you in desperation.

You started to curse yourself for starting to talk about this topic. You had wanted to convince Nikki to come off of the roof so he could play the show tonight, but now you were the one being a mess and there was only about an hour left until you had to drive to the venue.

"You're right", Nikki said surprisingly and you looked at him, "you are fucked up and you do freak out whenever you try to keep yourself from getting hurt."

You wanted to say something, but then he started to talk again. "But", he said softly and as he stepped closer to you, you didn't back off, "you're still worth it. You're so, so, so worth it.

You didn't know what to response but as his hand caressed your cheek to whipe away your tears, you leaned into his touch.

"Can't we just go back to the others and do our shows tonight and act like we never talked about this?", you asked quietly, hoping that he would say yes. It would've made things so much easier.

But Nikki shook his head. "We can't just keep the stuff that bothers us hidden inside forever without talking about it. And we can't just stop talking about it whenever it gets uncomfortable. So please stop running away from me, Y/N."

You wanted to tell him to fuck off. You wanted to shout at him for trying to break through your walls and then you wanted to run away and leave him on this roof. You wanted to tell Doc to let Dan play the bass for Mötley Crüe tonight.

But deep inside, you didn't want these things at all. Deep inside, you wanted to trust him and to let him see the person you were underneath your armour. You just didn't want to admit it to yourself, even though you already knew it. In the back of your head, there still was this little voice telling you that Nikki was playing games with you and that trusting him would be the end of you. And this voice was the reason your heart started to beat faster and you had to breath a little heavier because it seemed like there wasn't enough air all of a sudden.

The panic wanted to take you over but you forced yourself to close your eyes and to take a few deep and slow breaths to calm yourself down. There's nothing to be afraid of, you told yourself, I can trust Nikki. He would never use it against me or tell it to everyone.

You took another deep breath. "Okay.", you then whispered. "I won't run away from you for any longer."

And while speaking these words, you realized that you wouldn't be able to do it, even if you tried. Something always took you back to Nikki and made you tell him things you had never told anyone else before.

A tiny smile formed on Nikki's lips and he leaned down to you until you smelled the Whisky on his breath. You thought that he would kiss you, he had closed his eyes already and so did you, but as he didn't get closer, you understood that he was waiting for you to take the next step. He wanted to let you know that you were in control over what happened next.

And how could you not kiss these pretty pink lips that were only waiting for you? How could you stay away from Nikki for any longer?

So you leaned forward a little, your heart pumping as if you were thirteen again and this was your very first kiss. And then your lips touched his and he let out a quiet content sigh as he pulled you closer and kissed you back.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and you pressed your body against him, needing him more than ever, but in a non-sexual way - you just wanted to be close to him. Still, the kiss stayed soft and light and sweet. It was different than all the other kisses the two of you had shared. It wasn't fueled with the usual fire but there still was this heat between you and Nikki, a heat that seemed to come from deep within.

Nikki's hands carassed your waist and left feather-like touches, as if he was scared to mess things up if he came off too strong. And you were scared as well, your hands tangled in his hair without the usual pressure. But the fact that you weren't the only one who was afraid of what would happen next made you a little more confident.

Nikki was the first one to break the kiss, but his lips still were less than 5 centimeters away from yours and neither you nor him had opened up your eyes.

"I love you.", Nikki then whispered and as you felt his breath carassing your face, you realized the meaning of his words. The last time he had said them, he had been in panic and he had tried to make you stay by using them. Still, you had left him. And now he said them again, even though he was afraid that you would run away again, no matter if you had told him you wouldn't.

You opened up your eyes and looked at him. Studied this shape of his face, the way his lips were parted just a little, the teased hair that covered his forehead. And you loved everything about it, everything about Nikki. But you didn't know if you were ready to tell him yet. It would make you more vulnerable than you had ever been and you felt your knees starting to shake. 

Nikki noticed how uncomfortable you were all of a sudden and he opended up his eyes to look at you. Immediately, you wanted to look away but he softly grabbed your chin to force you to look at him.

"You don't have to response to that.", he clarified, "It's okay."

You felt like you still had to tell him you loved him too, like it was the only right thing to say in that moment, but your own cowardness kept you from saying a word. Instead, you just pressed your lips against his to make every kind of talking absolutely impossible.

By the way you moved your lips against his, you tried to tell him everything you were too afraid to say out loud. And by the way he sighed and pulled you closer, he told you that he had gotten your message. 

"Be with me.", Nikki said with a firm voice after the two of you had stopped kissing, "Be my girlfriend."

You felt your legs shaking even harder. This question had caught you off guard. You had never thought that Nikki would ask something like this. Not after everything he knew about you. Not after he knew how much of a wreck you were.

"You still want me? Even though I'm like", you gesticulated towards yourself voilently, "this."

Nikki nodded and the look on his face made clear that he was 100% sure about his decision. You shook your head in disbelief and let out a sarcastic laughter.

"Holy shit", you coursed, "the alcohol and the drugs must've destroyed your brain."

"Maybe", Nikki shrugged his shoulders, "but not when it comes to this. I know what I want, Y/N. I want you by my side."

He was almost begging now, grabbing your hands and pulling you closer to him again. You didn't know what to say, so you remained quiet.

Just like always, a part of you wanted to tell him no. That would be easier. It would be saver. And you wouldn't be scared to get left.

But a much bigger part of you wanted to say yes. And for the first time, you wanted to stop being a coward and actually allow that part to excist. So even though your whole body was shaking from nervousness and panic, you forced yourself to nod.

"Okay.", you mumbled and as Nikki looked at you in disbelief, you repeaded it a little louder. "Okay. I'll be your girlfriend."

You forced yourself not to think about everything that could go wrong and about all the stuff that would change now. You had said the words and there was no way of taking them back again.

While you tried to calm down, a big smile formed on Nikki's lips. There was nothing but pure happiness in his eyes.

You wanted to say something, but Nikki had already pressed his lips against yours. You kissed him back in the same euphoric way and you felt him smiling into the kiss.

Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up into the air. Out of reflex, you wrapped your arms around his neck and the bottle of Whisky slipped out of your hands and shattered on the ground. Nikki just laughed and started spinning you around while a surprised noise left your mouth.

After he had put you down again, he smiled at you with such a bright and loving smile that you couldn't help but smile back at him. Then he pulled you into a tight hug and you let yourself sink into his touch while he carassed your waist and your back.

"I think we have to go back to the others.", he said after you had stood there in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the fact that you were so close to each other.

"Or we could just stay here.", you suggested, knowing that not even the two of you were selfish enough to let the others down.

Nikki laughed and took a step back while taking your hand. "They need us."

"I know.", you sighed and then you smiled at him again. "They will freak out when we tell them about us."

"If we tell them.", Nikki corrected you and winked at you. You shook your head and your smile fainted a little.

"We can't keep it a secret.", you determinded, "They would find out and then they would hate us for not telling them."

"I know.", Nikki nodded, "But I thought of Doc. That poor guy will get a heart attack when he finds out that he has to put up with the two of us causing trouble together."

"Don't you think that we'll have a good influence on each other?", you asked and raised an eyebrow. As you saw the look on Nikki's face, you started laughing. There was no way the two of you would slow down now that you were together.

"C'mon now.", Nikki said and kissed you on the cheek, taking away what had been left of the tears you had cried just ten minutes ago. "We have to do a show tonight."

You nodded and together, you started to walk towards the door that would bring you back into reality, knowing that the most important show tonight would take place in a hotel lobby.

_______________________________________________

[queensdivas]

Wildest Notes Chapter 4

So there’s about three reasons why this chapter took a little long to come out! But they’re good reasons of course because I like to make sure things are somewhat perfect! 

First! Mostly because I’ve been busy with Grigor and trying to work on such a historical fic and y’all know I throw myself into my fics. 

Second. I got in touch with a certain bad ass artist by the name of @punky-peach​ who drew that beautiful picture below for Cora and Gard. Oh yes. It’s absolutely beautiful and I might have cried when I received it ten minutes ago. It’s so fantastic that I just can’t stop looking at it and I know y’all can’t either! Especially after this chapter.  

Third. I got distracted. And I got into bioshock for a while (I’m still binge playing it over and over. But fear not! I’m back and 

Okay here we go! 

Y’all ready!!

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter. 

Masterlist 

My fingers softly began rubbing my eyes as we finished the last set of the night. Sometimes I forget that playing the piano day after day would hurt my eyes. I hate that sometimes I forget that I’m near sighted. Should probably take a day off because I’ve been doing this nonstop since I moved here. Luckily I’m not clumsy with them and have never broken a pair in my life! Which is saying something about myself. 

Closing the lid to the piano as the club was beginning to clear out of everyone excluding the waitresses, bar tenders, and us musicians. I began gathering all my music sheets together as I watched everyone go into their own little social pods. Not that I don’t wanna become social with any other them. But a first impression of them flocking towards me in all directions to screw me wasn’t exactly a warm welcome. 

Once my music was all put together. I knocked off my heels to switch over to my Jesus slippers so I could walk home comfortable. Do you think I walk from my house to the city in heels? I don’t even like being in some sort of heels in the first place. My preference is my Jesus slippers or my bare feet. I mostly garden in my bare feet so it’s safe to say that I really hate shoes. 

Kobi the bassest and Chandler who played first chair trombone approached me as I placed my feet into my Jesus sandals. Kobi was rubbing the back of his neck as I waited for them to speak to me because obviously he was going to say something. 

“Chandler and I were wanting to apologize for what happened when you first arrived here. Kind of got us all excited for a new member and we acted like wild dogs. I’m sorry.” Wait what? An apology? Kobi smacked Chandler's chest as he shot up from the ground. 

“Yes Cora. We’re sorry..” 

“It’s quite alright. Thank you for the apology.” 

“Listen why not have a drink with us?” Chandler offered as I took a step off the stage with all my belongings. 

“I don’t drink.”

“Then water. C’mon you have to socialize with us eventually and running off back to your house isn’t an option.” Kobi mentioned that both of them walked over to the bar along with the workers and other musicians. I mean a sprite does sound delicious and I could use the energy walking home. 

I sat down on the bar stool as the tender was mixing all sorts of drinks for everyone. He stood in front of me and waited for me to give him some sort of answer. I get the feeling their eyes are shooting bullets at me for not drinking liquor. Look I know being a jazz musician you’re supposed to smoke and have a thing of Jack Daniels by your stand in order to fit the profile. But I’d rather have a really bubbly sprite and some grapes and we’re sitting. 

“Just a sprite please.” I told him as he filled a tiny little glass of sprite for me. 

“You work at a nightclub and you drink a sprite?” Chandler commented as I took a sip. 

“I told you two I don’t drink.” It’s like talking to a brick wall. Like I said I will not socialize with these people and just come to work. 

“Heys guys great news!” Theo jumped down from the stage and sashed himself over towards us. 

“We got ourselves a new lead female singer by the name of Kyia Mair. Just graduated from Oberlin Conservatory of Music in Ohio. She said she was looking for a full time gig and bam! We got one!” HE clapped as he sat down on one of the stools. 

“A round for everyone! Make it an Irish car bomb for everyone!” Theo pulled out his cash as everyone cheered as for free alcohol...for me I was slowly sipping sprite from my glass. I should’ve mentioned that I could’ve also sang..though it’s not excellent like Gaga or even Billie Holiday. But it’s decent. 

The bartender placed the shot in front of me as my sipping through the straw began to go faster as I was trying to avoid the car bomb or whatever it was called in front of me. No..no I don’t drink. Drinking leads to drugs...drugs lead..lead...

“A shot isn’t going to kill you Cora. You gotta live a little.” Theo moved the shot in front of me as I kept sucking up more and more sprite till the glass was empty. My throat closed as I looked away from the shot. Time for me to head home and read some sort of book. Digging into my purse then my wallet to find some sort of cash. 

“Tell ya what. Here’s twenty dollars on me for whatever you want and you guys never speak to me again that isn’t business related. Now if you’ll excuse me I’d like to go home. Goodnight everyone.” Telling them as they slapped the money on the bar and began my walk home. 

Wrapping my arms around myself to place my binger down onto the ground to feel the warmth of the night rest on top of me. Taking in a deep breath as I dove into the inner layers of my confused train wreck of a mind. It felt like I was pushing the door shut of my past self trying to keep those memories shut. 

Think of something nice Cora c’mon! 

“I’m..I’m sorry. I.. I generally don’t hang out with civilians this much.” Civilians? DO I look like I’m in the army? Do I need to salute him or something? 

Why is it that this tightly wound mailman by the name of Gardner is prancing around in my mind? Is this what a crush feels like? Heck I’ve never had my first kiss in my life with anyone! I’ve lived quite the solitude life for obvious reasons..and no one has ever had that kind of talk with me. 

Stopping along the river as my upper body leaned over the railing. Surprisingly a warm gust of wind entwined itself around me as I just stared down into the dark water. The lights from the city began dancing upon the top of the river. 

Mama Seymour wasn’t into the relationships because she was always busy with myself and my brothers and sisters. Mr. Lister..er Dad..may he rest in peace. He was just there for me in the end and never got around to this conversation. So I’ve got no idea what on earth I’m doing. Normally my ass would be running from this situation and just diving into a different situation. But..

I..I wanna dive..

This whack uptight mailman…

“Gard? What are you going?”

“I’m sorry. I heard you playing and I wanted to stay till the end.” 

Someone tell me how the heck this is supposed to work? No mailman would just casually stay and let himself come inside the house. Not to mention he let me dry his socks after walking around in the rain. It’s not love...it’s just my heart rapidly beating out of my ribbed cages and spewing out all over the sidewalk!  My right hand rested over my heart as I stood up standing tall.

Just keep calm..if you see him tomorrow just be nice and not do anything.. 

Walking back to the house to see that Angus was sitting in front of the front door sleeping soundly as I stood in front of the gate. Opening the gate woke him up and trot his way over to me. Sniffing my feet, licking my palm, and then walking back towards the door. For some unknown reason Angus loves to sit outside or sleep when I’m gone for work. 

Sitting down on the porch steps as Angus sat up next to me then began licking my face, yet stopping when he had some of my makeup in his mouth. My nails softly scratched the top of his head as he laid back down next to me with his head resting on my thigh. Time to let my hair down, literally. Pulling apart the large black bow I had in my hair that was keeping at least some of it up to let my grande cluster mess known as my hair. 

“C’mon Angus. Time for bed.” Kissing his forehead as we both got off the ground to walk inside and get ready for bed.  

*Gards P.O.V.*

Wasn’t supposed to be 90 degrees today. Stupid weather! Looking up to place the mail in the box I noticed that I was right around the corner from Cora. I imagine she’s out in her garden planting or digging until it gets too hot. 

Turning the corner then down the hill as I kept my eyes on what I could see but sadly trees we’re covering my view. Just keep going..wait. What should I say to her? Hey? Is it hot outside or what? Too cheesy? I’ll just be quiet, drop off her mail then moving on. 

Is..is that Margaritaville? I don’t know much about music but I know Margaritaville whenever I hear it. I remember Dad and I would be on the boat washing it down and whenever this song would turn on, he would just go berserk. Cause ya know, it’s a Dad song.  

“Wastin' away again in Margaritaville..Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt..Some people claim that there's a woman to blame..Now I think, hell, it could be my fault..” I could hear her singing as I got closer to the gate. 

When I made it to her white gate. My head looked up. I saw that she was sitting in the front yard sitting in a beach chair. Her feet were in a kids plastic pool as Angus came around the corner to then step into the kids pool and watch me. 

“GARD!” Cora cheered as she stood up to then stand in her pool. Opening the gate as I approached her as she kept herself in the pool. 

“Want a drink? It’s kool aid.” She held out her glass as I shook my head. 

“How’s the route on this stupidly hot day?” I shrugged as she offered me her seat. I sat down as she went around back to probably grab another chair. Placing my mail bag next to my chair as I watched Angus in the pool. He’s literally just laying down in the water with only his head laying on the rim.  Coming back as she had one of those really colorful beach chairs. Opening it up then sticking her feet back into the pool as Angus was laying down in it. 

“Gard relax for a little bit. It’s 90 degrees and there’s no way you’re not boiling alive.” Fair enough. 

“While you get comfy. I think I got some sunglasses for ya.” Getting up again to go into her house. I took off my shoes then socks to stick my feet into the ice cold pool. I let out a very large sigh as my entire body relaxed. I should get a kids pool for Calvin and I because this is so relaxing. 

She came back out with a glass of water and a pair of sunglasses. Smiling as I took them from her hands as she climbed back down into her seat then laying out in the sun. 

“Thank you.” Telling her as I placed the sunglasses on my face then taking a sip of the cold water. 

“No problemo Gard.” She smiled as she bent forward to splash some water on Angus who tried to eat the water she splashed him with. She looked so beautiful with the sun shining down on top of her. Coras skin was shining and her smile..it feels so genuine and contagious. Like if you’re not smiling you’re out of place. Not to mention she’s just so bubbly that..it’s a good feeling when I’m around her. 

Blinking a few times as Angus got up from the pool to then shake himself as all the water splashed over Cora and I! If a dog could smirk I think Angus would. We both watched as he opened the screen door to then walk inside. What a dog. 

“Sorry that my dog just gave you a shower.” She took off her glasses to whip off the water. 

“I’m assuming that you taught him how to do that?” Asking her as she nodded. She put her glasses back on her face to look at me. 

“Spoiled loveable child.” She shook her head as she went down to take a sip of her kool aid. I reached down for water to start drinking it. 

“Glad you’re finally relaxing. Though it would never happen to Gard. You 're more wounded than a screw itself.” I’ve always had my own way of doing things and enjoyed my very..tight.. Schedule..But here Cora comes to basically destroy that schedule..and I’m kind of okay with it...

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that of course. I mean it’s great that you have such a tight schedule and you like to do things your way. But sometimes you just gotta take a step back and breath a little. Also have your feet chillin 'in a kiddie pool while you get a sun tan and take a break from the job.” I will say though we look a little silly sitting in her front yard. But I imagine her backyard is covered head to toe in veggies and flowers. 

“If you keep working and not taking a second, you’re gonna watch your life go by without ya. Sorry..didn’t mean to sound so preachy there holy crap.” She laughed at herself as I couldn’t stop looking at her. Why does she care so much? I know that about 90% of the people I deliver mail to don’t even know me. Trudy is the only one I talk to..and then she comes into play...and..

I..I want her to see the boat. I mean. She’s shown me her entire home and she’s yet to see mine. Wouldn’t you think she’d like to see mine? I know she’s asked but..I didn’t know what she would do if I told her I lived in a boat. 

What do I say to her? Hey why don’t you come see my boat? Wanna see my boat? How do I make myself sound extremely creepy towards her? Her beautiful copper hair that was just all over the place shined beautifully. Cora’s smile kept making my heart skip a few beats as her fingers were messing with the book. I want her to come on my route so I can show her the boat. Don’t most women love boats? 

“Wanna see my home?” Blurting out as she turned towards me then rose up in her chair. 

“Sure. Let me get my keys.” She looked so adorable. A big Hawaiian shirt that had a tank top underneath, a cute pair of white shorts then her sandals. She walked inside her house as I finished chugging the water for the walk home. 

“How long have you been a mailman?” She asked as she was walking backwards in front of me with her hair flapping with each step. 

“Since I was eighteen. I was even a designated note passer for these two kids in school, kind of appropriate.” She looked so..pretty. Her hair shined, she walked with such a lovely step. As if she was almost skipping. How does someone be this happy all the time?

I found out that she’d been playing the piano since she was a kid. Umm she can make a mean lamb roast, and sells vegetables at farmers markets and even tries to get a stand at county and or State Fairs. I had no idea she was so resourceful. Is it weird that I kind of want her to make dinner for me so I can try this great lamb roast. 

“It has a crap ton of garlic but don’t worry it works extremely well together.” She was so passionate about her cooking and bubbly. Most women I know who are my age who can’t even cook spaghetti. 

“What side dish?” 

“Marinated white beans. You’ll have to come over for dinner sometime and you’ll be leaving ten pounds heavier!” She laughed as we turned down my street. Oh boy. How is she going to react that I live in my boat instead of inside with Calvin. 

“Here we are.” Telling her as she began walking in the driveway. 

“Umm Cora.” I stopped right next to the ladder that led me inside my home. She took off her glasses, rubbing her eyes then back at me. I began walking towards the ladder to climb in. 

“The nameless grace.” She pointed out as I halted. 

“Huh.” Turning around as she had her arms crossed. 

“You do know boats are meant to have names right? There was this one boat that was always docked and it’s name was Floppy Wenis!” I mean I’ve heard of some weird one in my books when I’m trying to sleep. I think there was one called Buoyoncé and another called The Cod Mile. 

I climbed up into the sailboat as she followed right behind me. Glad I got the place cleaned up before going to bed last night. Not that it was dirty or had underwear all over the place. Crouching down into the sailboat to stand straight up as she poked her head in. 

“Cute. I love what you’ve done with the place.” Cora giggled as she held out her hand so she wouldn’t fall flat on her face. Helping her inside as she kept a hold of my hand. They were a little cold but extremely soft to the touch. Wait..I’m still holding them! 

“I’m sorry!” Walking over to the radio as I turned it on for some soft acoustic song to start playing. 

“I sit there. You can sit anywhere else.” Telling her as I tossed my bag on the other side of the booth table. I placed the sunglasses she’d given me on the table right where I usually sit. 

“Gard this is so homey. Really love what you’ve done with the sailboat. Also the ferns that hang off the railings.” She commented as it made me smile. Cora looked around to then sit down across from me on the bench. 

“Thank you.” Molding my fingers together as I made my thumbs started going in small circles.

“So do you have a thing for not sleeping in houses? Ready for some sort of flash flood coming here and all of us vanishing overnight?” Very funny. 

“I’ve liked boats. SO why not live in one.” Shrugging as she raised her eyebrow right at me. Yeah figured she wouldn’t accept that excuse.  

“Why not live with Calvin then? I mean I love my sunflowers but you don’t see me sleeping in the middle of my garden.” Fair point. She put her legs up close to her chest waiting for some kind of response from me. 

“I came from school one day and my parents were gone. The house was empty. The only thing they left behind was this boat. So I moved it to Calvins driveway. His parents took me in.” I somehow get this feeling she can sort of relate. I’m not sad about it anymore and have moved on. But...sometimes I keep thinking they’ll come back for the boat even after all these years just to say hi. A pipe dream and realistically impossible. But wouldn’t it be nice. Her face that was once filled with bubbles just turned into concern and somewhat saddened. I didn’t mean to make her feel sad..just wanted to be honest. 

“Any luck trying to find them?” Her voice cracked a little as she stared directly at me. 

“What would I say?” 

“Something I would Gard. Why? Why have me if you wanted to run?” Shaking her head at her own comment as she looked at the wall then back at me. 

“If we’re being open with one another. I sadly don’t remember my mother at all. Either she died of childbirth or just left right after I was born. Father was a..an extreme druggie who ended up..ah doesn’t matter. Oh what do we have here.” She grabbed one of my binders of my stamp collections to start going through them. I noticed on her ankle looked like some kind of old scar around the ankle. Probably none of my business. 

“I love this one so far. Ya know I wasn’t going to make the assumption that you collected stamps due to the fact you were a mailman. But I gotta ask. Why stamps?” Nothing is more cliche than a mailman collection stamp. Cora’s eyes looked so passionate while she skimmed through all my stamps.

“It’s just this endless potential that sits within these little tiny squares. Kind of wonder where they could’ve gone sometimes when I look at them. Always wondered what people would’ve said in these letters, though no one writes letters anymore. But if they did, they need one of those.” I’ve...I’ve never had the chance to fully tell someone about my stamps before. I mean besides Calvin and my friends down at the office when we have our meetings. But she seems so interested in them and letting me vent about them. 

“I’m going to assume you’ve got a favorite?” My eyes drifted over to The Duke as I motioned her to come over and look. She got off the bench to squat a few inches next to me. So close I could see deep into those sparkling dark blue pools. 

“So why is the shirtless man so special?” 

“That my dear friend is The Duke, King of the Longboard. You have your Elvis china and I have my stamps, sort of the Elvis of my collection.”

“Why? What’s so special about Mr. Duke?” 

“It’s a misprint.” 

“Wait what?” She giggled to take another look at the stamp. 

“It’s a misprint. It’s the only one in the world. His longboard is upside. See?” She nodded as our heads were almost butting into each other. 

“Well..son of a biscuit. What a misprint.” My throat unexpectedly dried up quicker than I expected as we just kept smiling at each other. 

Slowly moving towards each other as our lips finally made contact. Her beautiful lips sent shivers up and down my body. I’m too afraid to touch her or even do anything..last girl I kissed was a bet in High School..I could feel my face turning dark red as I cupped her face in my hands. 

Cora abruptly backed away from against the wall with her finger types on her lips. Gulping as her eyes were widened. She was going to say something but kept falling short of words. 

“I’m..I’m sorry..I..” Spinning around to dash out of the boat and almost tripping trying to get out. 

“Wait Cora!” I was about to sprint out towards her but she must’ve knocked over the sunglasses because they made a loud cracking sound in my feet. 

No...no..I didn’t ruin it did I!? Looking at the time as I realized that it was already after four...I’ll keep my bag for the night then when I do my route tomorrow I’ll just deliver whatever else I didn’t get the chance to deliver. 

Should probably go inside and try to act normal. Although I imagine Calvin will be having a field day because today is his day off. Climbing out of the boat then down the ladder as I tried to keep myself panicking in front of Calvin. He’s going to go on and on about approaching her and how to get her into bed. Not exactly what I’m going for. 

I made it through the front door then into the kitchen where Calvin already had dinner ready. And now I just realized that I’m extremely late for dinner. This should be absolutely fun to deal with. 

“Sorry I’m late Cal.” Sitting down at the dining room table but he didn’t turn around to say anything to me. But only letting out a big sigh. 

“Cal!” He smacked the eggplant on the plate as he was about to say something. 

“My eggplant parmesan is congealing.” I’m not quite sure if I’m even in the mood for eggplant. Vietnamese or Greek just sounds better than eggplant. 

“I had to work late.” 

“Am I living in a house of lies! You come through that door everyday at 5:29 pm on the dot for the past six years, and who was that guy with the 80s hair band running from your boat?” She’s not in a hair band? I mean obviously I knew he would catch me but she’s not even a man, Cora just has beautiful humongous hair. Which I imagine is super soft. 

“It was a woman.” Never thought I would have to say that. 

“My man! She smokes your hogan?” 

“I don’t think so and what does that even mean?” What does smoking your hogan your mean? Like..a..I don’t even wanna think about it. 

“Where did you meet her?” 

“Work.” 

“Is she a mailman?” She’s far too beautiful to be a carrier. 

“Carrier and no she’s a customer. Her name is Cora.” 

“Whoa whoa whoa. Is she an old lady?” 

“No.” 

“Lady of the night?” 

“No!” 

“Housewife?” 

“Single and no. She lives by herself.” 

“Single, her own home and on the route nice! So okay theres lots of ingredients here for a very erotic role-play situation.”

“You gonna see her again?” 

“Probably tomorrow.” 

“You nervous?” Shaking my head as Cal saw right through it.  

“You must not like her if you’re not nervous.” 

“I’m a little nervous.” More like shaking in my own shoes from the fact that I don’t wanna mess this up. 

“All right okay lets get a good solid plan together. This is you and this is her.” He was messing with the table mats. 

“No no I don’t wanna plan this.” Last time Cal had one of his plans he ended up spilling the nacho cheese all over the girls jeans. Yeah never letting him plan anything dealing with my love life. 

“Well you’re gonna need a plan or you’re just gonna get passed over like celery at the salad bar.” 

“I just wanna let it happen.” 

“Alright if that’s your play.” He began reading through his magazine of Martha Stewart recipes and home diy. 

I really don’t wanna mess this up..she’s absolutely fantastic..just the thought of her..oh boy what have I gotten myself into now. 

Taglist

@bonafiderocketqueen​ @filmslutt​ @johndeaconshands​ @amethyst-serenade​ @soy-guey​ @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​ @queen-turtle-boiii​ @mercury-wife​ @deck-heart​ @deakydeacs @mirkwoodshewolf​ @supersonicfreddie​ @yourlocalmusicalprostitute​ @dancingcoolcat​ @bitchyleek​ @belladonichaaze​ @mrsmazzello​

[x-ximenas]

Love Means Trouble: Chapter 5

Prompt: Hurricane by Halsey, which you can find in this playlist.

Pairing: OC/Nikki Sixx

Warnings: Alcohol and drug consumption, mentions of kissing and sex (not graphic tbh, not even a bit)  and my terrible grammar and punctuation remember English’s not my first language.

Word Count: 2,894 words

A/N: It's been a while, huh? I'm so so sorry for leaving this story unattended, but med school continues to be a pain in my ass and as I come closer to the end of this semester I have enough time to sit down and write. This chapter starts right where the last left it off, so I'd recommend you to go back and read chapter 4 <3 Also, if you liked this bit, I’d love to hear some comments! If you’d like to be added to a taglist for upcoming parts comment, dm me, ask me… just talk to me!

A/N 2: If you’d like to listen to the songs I mention in the story, here’s the playlist where you can find them.

// Prologue // Previous Chapter //———————————————————————————————————–Fuck.

Was Nikki's last thought as he lead his blonde-haired company back to the couch. Circe was predictable in the worse way possible, he knew he had to figure out how to get around yet another round of her teasing after tonight's turn of events. Nikki was never good at keeping promises, but he excelled at making them sound realistic.

They never agreed they would interrupt their dynamic, but after the words they shared in Circe's apartment he knew he had definitely slipped and she was going to make him pay for it. He saw that characteristic glint of mischief shine brightly in her otherwise dark eyes, he just didn't know that was Circe playing with his doped brain.

As Nikki silently pondered on how to tackle the situation at hand -a scenario yet to be presented- Circe was coughing out smoke with a laugh, Nikki's slightly shocked and panicked expression engraved in her brain. It took her a couple of minutes for her giggles to settle, but once it did she heard Vince snort out a laugh by the window.

"What?" She asked the blond at her right, a smile sneaking up on her lips.

"You're asking me? You're the one laughing by yourself" He said with a knowing smile, Circe shrugged.

Then, Vince handed her her "Here, you left it inside."

"Oh, and to what do I owe this display of chivalry?" Circe asked the blond to her right, digging her elbow on his ribs playfully.

"Can't I just bring my gorgeous female friend her drink without her implying there's a bigger plan?" He teased back, swaying his hands as if to make him look posh.

"No, no, you can, but it's just so... what's the word... so not Vince-like."

"Thanks, tho." She said in a lower voice, her head now resting on his shoulder, Vince mumbled something back as he wrapped an arm around her frame.

Silence settled between the pair. As the wind blew, Circe's head ran through similar moments she had shared with Vince before, a small smile tugging on the corners of her lips. The peaceful environment around them was interrupted by the blond vocalist who cleared his throat.

"Well, just so you know, I came out here to see if you were kicking Nikki's ass over the blonde chick situation." Another nasal laugh left Vince, Circe turned to him and started to hit his shoulder repeatedly, causing him to break out laughing.

"You fucker." Circe said, dragging out the r as she chased Vince back inside the apartment, people parting to make room for the pair.

Circe had tuned out the voices around her, but she swore she heard Tommy encouraging her to hit Vince over the head and Mick laughing a little. Her focus left her as she bumped into someone.

She mumbled a half-assed apology, but this change in her path had made her lose sight of the blond-haired singer. With a defeated look on her face, she decided to take a seat on the band's table only to find her prey laughing at her.

"Haha, very funny jackass," Circe said a frown sketched on her face.

"Oh, c'mon you're gonna get wrinkles, dude." Vince teased, earning a smack on his shoulder by both Mick and Circe.

"Dude, you should have seen Nikki's face when you bumped into him." Tommy chimed in with an amused expression. Circe's eyes widened slightly, but a laugh still left her slightly parted lips.

Before she could gather her thoughts to answer Tommy, Vince handed her a cymbal with some coke lines cut up for her enjoyment. She leaned down to snort one of the two lines Vince had cut for her; then she straightened her back, scratching the tip of her nose as she tried to come up with something to say, dusting some of the excess coke in the process. Like Circe came with no logical response to Tommy's comment, she just shrugged and laughed again. Then she leaned back down to snort the second line, a good girl naturally tumbling out of Vince's lips accompanied by a pat on the back.

After that point the night seemed to slip through Circe's fingers, time passing by her as she engaged in conversation, laughing fits leaving her breathless and kisses shared with complete strangers in her smoke breaks were the only things that kept her entertained. As the apartment was quickly emptying, Circe was left sitting by herself in the dining table, a nearly empty bottle of vodka, music and the distinctive sounds of sex being her only company. She rolled her eyes as she drank what little was left of the clear liquid, dropping the bottle on the floor carelessly she headed towards the window, ready to go home unaccompanied when a hand grabbed her by her forearm.

"Hi" said the blonde girl Nikki had been chasing all night long.

"Hey" answered Circe with a small smile.

"You're leaving?" the blonde inquired.

"Yeah"

"Oh, okay." was her reply, a tinge of disappointment laced the two words. Circe smirked just a smidge, her hand came up to the blonde's chin, lifting it as to make her eyes meet.

"C'mon, doll." Circe offered her hand as she walked out the window, the blonde took Circe's hand in her own.

"Wait here, we'll leave soon." Circe said before peaking her head inside the apartment once more, her eyes meeting with Nikki's surprised expression.

"Sixx, if you see Tommy or Vince tell them I finished the vodka." And with that said, she parted with the blonde.

Both girls had been walking for a couple of minutes, their high heels were worn as bracelets by now. The silence was comfortable, no one really trying to break the calm atmosphere they had settled in, embracing the drastic change.

"You live nearby?" Circe asked.

"Yeah, I just didn't want to walk home alone."

"It's cool, sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the doll thing."

"Meh, I didn't mind it."

As the pair headed to the blonde's place, Circe noted the change of behaviour but stayed quiet nonetheless.

"So Nikki? or Vince?" the blonde girl teased with a giggle, earning a breathy laugh from Circe.

"Neither."

"Wait, Vince?" Circe continued after a moment of silence, her voice clearly amused.

"Yeah! Quite a scene you made back there."

"That's just us being, well, us. Nothing beyond that." Circe vaguely informed her.

"If you say so." The girl said in a singsong voice.

"Anyways, this is me! Thanks for walking with me..."

"Circe"

The blonde girl repeated the name to herself in a lower voice. "Josie." Circe rose an eyebrow.

"My name's Josie" she clarified with a smile. "Well, thanks, Circe ."

"Anytime, Josie. " Circe answered, making a point by repeating the girl's name.

As Josie headed to her door, Circe cleared her voice, making her turn to face the brunette with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah?"

"I kinda get Vince, but why did you ask about Nikki?" Josie laughed to herself at the brunette's curiosity.

"Instinct... question mark" Josie answered, unsure of herself. Circe stared at her in disbelief but decided not to push the topic, instead, she snorted out a laugh.

"I better go home, bye."

"Bye."

And with that, Circe found herself alone one more time, not that she minded. The walk back to her apartment was short, not more than five minutes and she probably would have taken less if she hadn't bumped into an adorable stray cat or if she had actually walked instead of danced and sung all the way back home.

"No place for hidin' baby, no place to run " Circe dramatically sung in her best Paul impersonation, as she tried to open her door.

"You pull the trigger of my love gun."

As those last few notes left Circe, her door finally budged open. Clothes and items were carelessly thrown around the living room, and Circe nearly fell flat on her face after tripping with the clothes she had brought home from work. Circe tried her best to navigate to her room in the dark, in the process bumping into furniture and even a wall, curse after curse falling off her lips. Once she found herself in her room, she let herself fall on the bed, her hand reaching under it to pull out a half-drunk bottle of Jack.

"You can't forget me baby, don't try to lie. You'll never leave me, mama, so don't try. I'll be a gambler, baby lay down the bet. We get together, mama you'll sweat" She restarted her singing as she took a drink from the bottle, then she laughed to herself, clearly amused at her attempt to sound like Paul.

She took another swing of the bottle, as she felt her body swaying, the same feeling you would get when floating in water. Her eyes were teary from the laughter, and her head started to pounce at the thought of work, but she didn't stop drinking. Despite the upcoming headache, she tried to keep herself focused on what she'd like to do with the clothes instead of letting her mind wander off to Josie's question. But before her mind could cave in, she fell asleep.

———————————————————————————————————–

"Rise and shine, sunshine" a male voice, sung from her left. Circe's hold on the bottle tightened as she turned her body to the side, ignoring the man -whom she assumed was Tommy.

"Fuck off" Circe answered, her voice raspy and low, afraid that it would make her headache worse.

"Tommy sent you breakfast c'mon, Ce" At the mention of Tommy, Circe shoot up straight, something her body resented instantly.

"Here, take this" Vince handed her a glass of water, the blond far too relaxed, considering he had broken into her apartment while she slept.

She mumbled a quiet thank you to Vince and took a gulp from the glass, then asked: "What the fuck are you doing here, Neil?"

"Athena came over, she left some food for you, so Tommy gave me your key me and told me to bring it over."

Circe stood up from the bed, holding the cold glass of water to the side of her head while taking a drink from the bottle of Jack. She placed both drinks on the floor as she started to remove her clothes, Vince in her room currently being the last of her concerns. She pulled from her closet her jean overalls and put it over last night's bandeau and panties.

"C'mon, I'm starving."

"Also, that's 10 bucks for the show" She added with a small laugh, then she took a drink from the glass of water before pressing it to the side of her head.

"Ass" the mumbled curse made Circe laugh harder.

Vince followed Circe out of her room, stealing the bottle of Jack in the process, then he flopped down on the couch, throwing his legs on the small coffee table. Circe, on the other hand, headed to her kitchen and decided to brew some coffee, in hopes that the caffeine would ease her headache.

"Bring the syrup, Athena sent you chocolate chip pancakes" Vince yelled from the living room as he made himself comfortable in the couch, taking gulps from the whiskey every now and then.

Circe nodded but huffed at the realisation that she had virtually nothing in her kitchen, meaning she had to eat dry pancakes, again.

"What? No syrup?" Vince asked without looking up, too busy picking some chocolate chips, earning a smack over the head from Circe.

"No, I haven't gone grocery shopping" Circe stole the bottle of Jack back from Vince, pouring some in her coffee. Then she grabbed the plastic fork that came with the pancakes and started eating, offering Vince a piece of pancake every once in a while.

"You know?" Vince wondered out loud. Circe hummed, waiting for him to continue.

"I thought I might find the blonde chick leaving or something."

"Nah, she just wanted someone to walk her home" Circe shrugged, a hand covering her mouth to prevent her pancakes from spilling out of it.

"Ah, man, I thought you had stolen Nikki's toy-for-a-night" Vince said, leaning back into the couch, his eyes covered by his hands.

Vince stayed quiet for a while, before saying: "So... no sex last night?"

"Nah"

"Wanna change that?" Vince teased.

"What? You offering?" Circe asked back with a playful smile. Vince shrugged.

"It's been a while, huh" Circe pondered.

"You had no tattoos back then, Ce."

"So like, a long, long while" Circe laughed a bit.

"Yeah" Vince laughed as well.

"Was it before or after I left my parent's house?" Circe asked.

"Really? Both, it was around the time I left my parent's house, and then you left your parent's house, so we kinda coexisted in Tommy's place" Vince answered, taking Circe's fork and a bite out of the pancake.

"Right" Circe mumbled, deep in thought before snorting out a laugh.

"You finished?" Circe asked, pointing at the pancake Vince was currently eating.

"Yeah" Circe offered her hand to take the container, but Vince took it upon himself to dump it in the trash.

"Hey, do you think Athena is still in your place?"

"Maybe, wanna go?"

"Yeah, why not" Circe answered, shrugging her shoulders.

"Just let me clean my face, I probably look half dead."

Circe made a quick job out of cleaning her face, mainly worried about removing the eyeliner that had smudged under her eyes and the lipstick that had somehow ended up all over her cheek. As she headed back to meet with Vince in her living room, she redid her bun.

"Ready?" Circe just nodded. As they made their way out, she took her keys and two packs of cigarettes, perfectly aware that she had finished Tommy's last night.

Closing and locking the door behind her, they headed to Vince's place. Halfway through Circe decided to jump on Vince's back, claiming she was too tired to walk and she felt sick, the blond man just rolled his eyes all too accustomed to her antics.

"Honey, I'm home" Circe jokingly sang at the sight of Tommy's little sister, Athena. Vince dropped Circe back on her feet, letting the two girls hug.

"Thanks for breakfast, I had nothing left to eat" Circe said. She pinched Athena's cheek before jumping on the kitchen counter.

"Thought so, I don't get how you can live off drugs and booze" Athena replied, directing her sentence to all four people. Tommy shrugged.

"A mystery" Circe and Tommy said simultaneously, then they high-fived earning a barely audible groan from an otherwise silent Nikki.

Tommy frowned at Nikki's reaction but decided to not address his sudden change in attitude. Tommy's gaze shifted between both his best friends, confused as to what had caused the shift in dynamics. Circe rolled her eyes at the sight of Nikki throwing a silent temper tantrum, not once making eye contact or directing a word to her since the day before. Circe decided to pay him no mind, directing her focus on Athena instead, unaware the younger Lee was soon to leave.

Athena pinched Circe's cheek, making her chuckle. "What?"

"You should go visit mom and dad, they've been asking about you."

"I'll think about it, 'k? Maybe I'll give them a call."

"You better, Ce" Athena said, patting her on the knee.

"I'd say this was a pleasure, but-"

"Fuck off" Tommy interrupted his sister with a laugh, "C'mon, I'll drive you home."

Once both Lee siblings left through the window, Nikki stood up from his place, taking long strides towards Circe only stopping once he was right in front of her.

"What?" Circe asked, uncrossing her legs as if to make room for Nikki between them. Still, she had a hard time pushing her smile down.

"Nice stunt you pulled last night." Nikki's words were laced with a tinge of bitterness.

"Which one?"

"Both."

"Huh, I see, you're all grumpy cause you didn't get laid." Circe teased, her smile nothing but sweet despite the jabbing demeanour of her words.

"Fuck o-" Nikki muttered, and Circe chuckled. Then, she pulled Nikki back between her legs by grabbing him from his pants belt loops.

"C'mon, Sixx. Chill, we said we'd play fair, didn't we?"

"You call that playing fair?" Nikki questioned, grabbing Circe by the waist pulling her closer to him.

"I wasn't the one with a pretty blonde on my lap last night, wasn't I? I was only trying to rise up to the occasion." Circe playfully pushed Nikki's chin up with her index before coaxing him to reduce the distance between them.

"I call that playing fair." Circe's voice was breathy, Nikki could practically taste the pancakes she had eaten earlier that day along with the Jack and coffee she had used to gulp them down.

Nikki leaned in to close the small gap that was left between them, but Circe pushed him off her.

"As much as I would like to see where this leads, I have work to do, and you definitely don't figure in it."

Circe jumped off the counter as she said those words, her smirk only getting wider as she spoke. Nikki was shocked and momentarily lost the ability to both move and speak, so as the brunette walked through the window and out his apartment, he stood still.

[shesawriter39049]

|FAMILY TIES| M| MAFIA AU| 4

2K SNEAK PEEK (Full things looking like it will be between 10-11k)

GENRE:SMUT/ ANGST

AU SUMMARY :  A powerful alliance made up of of 4 families spanning over a decade, is suddenly turned on its head when one family has a new leader after an unexpected death. Well let’s just say he’s not down to follow the somewhat civilized rules your families have inforced. Sooo now, it’s game on…

WARNINGS: Very,very breif mentions of somone OD’ing and breif mentions of sex work! Just so ya can’t say I didin’t warn ya!

LOCATION : 40 Sudbury St, Boston, MA 

TIME: 2:07 PM

“Don’t look too excited to see me…” A coy smile tugged on the corners of sheriff Morales lips as closed the door walking over to take a seat in front of Taehyung.

Facial expression still reading the same amount of inconvenience, annoyance,exhaustion, unamusement, lack of interest, shall I continue?

“You litterally arrested me, after I just hopped off a 15 hour flight, outside of Leo’s viewing, yes...Monti I’m fucking thrilled to be here…” The level of crass that danced throughout his voice earned a chuckle from the elder.

“It’s not like I took you away in cuffs I just simply asked if we could talk down at the station, you know you didn't have to tell me yes..” There was an underlying condescending demeanor that laid within his voice.

Taehyung’s eyes instnatly rolled to the back of his head as he huffed out a exaggerated sigh “Yeah because I’d totally prefer the alternative which would be you on my door at 1am while I’m in the middle of having sex. Yeah no, I’m good on that, I’d rather just ride down here, in that gaudy ass ford and talk ...” Reclining slightly in his chair as, lacing his fingers together to cradle behind his neck.

“Oh for fucks sake, I’m sorry my work car isn't boujee enough to go with your Gucci…” Tone snarky as every as he gestured to Tae’s baby pink, slim fit, Italian cotton dress shirt.

Earning an unamused brow raise from the younger “Actually this is one of my more modest pieces it’s Hugo but continue..” A smirk tugging on the corners of his lips as he continued pushing the officers buttons. Clearly the two of them were very comfortable with each other by now, weather that’s a good or bad thing is currently up for debate.

“Oh my bad Fugo…” Sheriff Morales rolled his eyes not even aware of the miss pronunciation triggering a low chuckle from Taehyung.

“Hugo…” he countered almost sign-song like, always one to have the last word and at that point Morales was over it. 

“Listen kid, I don’t care about your overpriced Easter Sunday shirt! I care about the two 18 year- old boys that have turned up dead within barley 72 hours!”

Taehyung’s brow furrowed in confusion as he ran his fingers through his hair, actually deciding to stop being a little shit and listen.

“I don’t know if you’re aware , or if you were already out jet setting while buying more Gucci, and Hugo” Making sure to put  emphasis on the pronunciation of “Hugo” since Taehyung corrected him moment’s prior.. “But almost 3 days ago, we found him…” 

Raising his Ipad to show a picture of a person Taehyung didn’t even remotely recognize, earning no type of physical reaction. Which is what Morales was secretly checking for, but taehyung knew that already, trying to catch him off guard to see if the faces would trigger any emotions. Only in all honesty this one really didn't!

“He was found dead in the back of car on the side of the highway, a really nice one actually...Mercedes AMG, completely doped out, he appears to have OD. There were some needles,and a combination of other drugs in addition to some cash left in the car ...” 

Okay, now Taehyung was really confused, that it definitely was NOT the kid from a couple nights ago. Dropping his neck, squinting, adjusting the angle of his head  slightly as he continued investigating the picture. Almost as if he was trying to see if the face would change the more looked at it  but no, that just wasn’t him!

After a few seconds, of observing Taehyung’s body language and lack of response, he moved onto the next picture .Keeping the device facing him until he was ready for Tae’s reaction..

“Around 11am today….we found, him…” Flipping the Ipad around to show the  second picture and thank god Taehyung was a pro when it came to his poker face , because THAT’S the boy he recognized..gazing straight ahead, almost aiming through the paper at this point.

“Channel 2 don’t even know about this yet-”

He heard Taehyung clear his throat as he re-adjusted in his seat “So, why am I here, why am I getting the breaking exclusive!?Not like I’m some damn reporter  reporter running around in penny loafers.” Keeping the same dry snarky tone, not wanting to show any inflated emotions in response to the second image.

“No smart ass your not...if you’d shut up and let me continue maybe will get to why your here yeah!?” Brow arched at the implied question, whilst tae didn't even verbally respond, just flagging his hand gesturing for him to continue.

“ANYWAYS,it appears the two of them are, well were kinda sorta friends, but this kid, the druggie if you will, is pretty well known around that area as such. His name is Jeff, he’s 18 and has been in and out of rehab more times than anyone can count. The boy on the right..”

Cringing internally he never wanted to know the boys name...he just didn't, almost a second away from internally screaming so he didn’t have to put a name to the face! 

“Chritstian, 18, foster kid….he was found in the back bathroom of a packie he works at down in the Dot-”

“Again, no disrespect but why. Am. I. Here!? I’m tired, I have a migrane and I’m hungry please get to the point.” The aggervation was dripping from his tongue at this point, way past exhausted and disgusted to listen to some long drawn out story.Even though after the past 50 some odd hours he’d just spent in China all he really want’s is to go home and crawl in bed with you!

Rolling his eyes at Teahyung’s lack of patience before continuing the story.

“This packies a little shady, actually a lot shady, everything from drug deals to sex work has been rumored to happen in the storage room. The only cameras they have outside, angled in front of the back alley entrance. There low quality, probably intentionally but the quality was atleast good  enough for us to see this…” 

Pulling up a video on his ipad, propping it on it’s stand for the two of them to watch together. Around 1:30Am they can see Christian, who phsycially backed into the alley, get out of the Mercades heading into the store. Gazing at the screen as Morales speeds up the tape a good 10 or so minutes. Only to find Jeff walk up to the same door, due to the time, the packie was technically closed, it even seems Christian willingly let him in. 

Just as Taehyung was about to make a snarky comment about how this has nothing to do with him, you can see the tail end of a car parked at the end of the alley. It’s unclear if Jeff actually got out of the car or not, but just the placement alone at this time of nigh is hella suspect. 

Zoomining in slightly on the car in question ...even through the pixelation, there’s a little custom badge by the back fender. 

The realization has the loudest cackle ripping from Taehyung's throat, while Morales jerks back in his seat not even sure how to process current display unfolding before his eyes. The combination of jet lag and just utter disbelif has Taehyung’ combusting until his face is damn near the same color as his shirt, and tears are threatening the corners of his eyes. 

“Ah, shit, that’s funny…” Leaning up to bracing his weight on his arm as he cradled the side of his face between his middle finger and thumb. A smug smirk tugging on the corners of his cheeks as he gazed back in Morales direction. 

~~~~A GOOD 72-ISH HOURS PRIOR~~~~

(Picks up where part 3 ends) 

You found yourself almost caressing the back of his head the more the reporter talked, apparently it was some random woman who found him. She said she was just driving home from work around 5am, she was a nurse and the light was left on, out of habit she just felt the need to see if everything was okay.

[Woman on the new’s being interview ]

“The position of his head, and the way his jaw laxed, could just appear as he was sleeping to the naked eye. But I’m an ER nurse have been for almost 15 years I recognize the symptoms right away. I tried to revive him prior to calling 911, even against my better judgment ,but he had been out for at least an hour, it was no use…” 

[Reporter]

“The police are still trying to put two and two together as it really doesn't make sense, there was cash in the car, as well as the car itself is a mystery. We have finally identified the young man in the car, his family as also been contacted-” 

Right as she was about to say his name, and ask if anyone knew anything to please contact the police he shot up, almost bolting for the door. Almost as if he knew the boys name it would seem all too real. Little did you know it’s because Taehyung puropusly never asked for his name, he’s not stupid is men knew, they even had a pciture of his ID. But Tae felt like this boy deserved to have something for him, and him only...so his name was never spoken.

You contemplated back and forth for a couple moments before ultimately decided to go check on him.

The sound of your heels echoed through the hallway of the “Employees only” area..trying to figure out where he could be “I’m over here..” The bass in his voice rumbled off the walls , almost startling you, not expecting for him to actually reach out to you.

You found him resting against the wall hands in the pocket of his jack, gazing up at the ceiling

 “ The boys did a full z30, and went over it with a black light..not that it even matters now.” Voice trailing off slightly as he brought his attention down to his boots, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers.

 “They actually ended up taking the car to some park,I guess they decided to change locations  after I knocked the mother fucker out. Opting to not sterilize an entire car on his property,while he tends to his dislocated dorsum. “ A slight smirk moved up his face as he gazed over at you “So if you're thinking I’m worried about me..I’m not..the plate was switched, garmin removed, and the cars not even registered.I’m just….” Shaking his head in slight disbelief as he runs over the past 24 hours in his head.  “I don’t think he really even know how fucked up and dangerous this all really is, especially when you barely know what you're doin’ to begin with. He’s a walking death wish and he’s gonna fuck around and have it granted by someone that coudle been his ally..” 

Even though his tone was hushed you could still feel the anger radiating off his body, raking his fingers through his hair, sinking back into the wall. “Come’ere, I know you didn't come out here to listen to me bitch from a far…” Signaling for you with his fingers, trying to hide the smile that was tugging up your face as you swayed in his direction. Opting to give him his space, not in the mood to get your face cracked, emotions far too fragile for that right now. You’ll end up shooting his indecisive ass, at this point. 

Once you were in arms reached he pulled you into his frame, a slight squeal leaving your throat from how quickly he grabbed you

One hand resting on the hinge of your jaw the other one your waist , palm soothing up the small of your back. “How are you feelin’?” The question threw you off a little you found your eyes fluttering away from his and he noticed instantly. Tilting your head until you had no choice but to look at him. The emphasises on the  word “you”  let  you know he was well aware that your always the one checking on him ..asking how he’s feeling. Now it’s his turn to do the same, I mean sure a good 17 years a litter but at least it’s a start right!? 

Letting a deep sigh leave your body before responding “I’m angry, confused, and a little scared if I’m being honest but-”

Cutting you off immediately , shaking his head, a scof leaving his body in response “Over my dead body, will anything ever happen to you, so you can scratch that shit off your list of issues real quick..” He wasn’t asking , he was telling you how this was going to go and his tone left zero room for debate.

Tilting your head back slightly, blowing out a slow breath , you could feel your eyes burning as you kept fluttering them. Attempting to cut off the tears desperately trying to run down your face, funny thing is, even though you cried eariler today. That’s not a common trait for you no matter how upset you get, your not the most intune with your emotions either if we're being honest. You didn’t open up easily and hated, crying in front of people more than anything, you were just as much as a working progress as Taehyung.

The phrase “over my dead body…”was used very frequently, typically over minor issues, even jokingly for most. But it would always hold a deeper, darker meaning in your heart, the last person to say that to you was your mother. Used in the same context as Kim Taehyung and she meant it, wholeheartedly!  You found yourself trying to pull away, not wanting to let him see you fall apart, because you knew you were going to. The more you tugged the tighter his grip became, “Tae please. Let. Me. Go…” You wouldn't look at him, staring up at the light fixture to your right, tone extremely dry, almost passive. The grip you held on his forearms got even tighter as you waited in silence,almost clinging to him.

He wasn’t going to fight you on this, if you wanted out..here ya go, the last squeez on your waist wasn’t possessive. Almost comforting as if he was letting you know if you wanted to come back he’d be right here. Tentatively loosening the grip he healed around your waist, letting you pull away from him, almost losing your balance in the process. Not realizing how much you were leaning on him despite trying to pull away all at the same time. 

Yet you didn't move, the grip you held on his arms never faltered, dropping your gaze down to your feet, as he gently took you back into his arms. Bringing your hips flush to his, I guess you never realized he eased you the same way you did him. The feeling of your chest rising and falling against his as you coxed yourself out of crying, a single tear managing to slip out of your right eye before you could stop it. Turning your head, brushing it onto your shoulder hastily, your grip tightened as both eyes started to betray you simultaneously. Even though you refused to look back at him, he could feel your stomach tensing as you tried to slightly choke back the tears that were now streaming down your face.. 

Not forcing you to look at him, respecting your privacy in that aspect bringing his hands up to rub lightly circles into your back as he nuzzled his nose into the side of your neck.  A side of Kim Taehyung that few would ever get to see, bringing your arms up to wrap around his neck, cradling the back of his head in your hands. “I’m not going anywhere…” the words brushed against your skin, funny how he automatically knew what triggered this without you even having to say anything. You didn't respond, only squeezing him a little tighter before pulling back, almost aggressive whipping your face before racking your fingers through your hair. A sheepish smile tugged on the corners of your lips as you finally made eye contact with him.

Neither of you said anything as you stepped a little closer, soothing your hand down his chest, over his stomach slowly. Suddenly feeling almost uncomfortably open and vulnerable in front of a man that’s been inside you more times that you can count. His eyes felt like they were burning straight through you as he gazed back in your direction. You couldn’t help but let your hand trickle down his zipper, trailing your fingers up and down his clothed length earning a hiss as he gripped your wrist.

“You know your thighs can’t handle another round from me right now, you need to fuckin chill before I have you bent over the bathroom counter.” 

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE, OR I guess...that’s all she posted lol ! Hopefully you guys are excited for part 4 !!! Lemme know! 

Love you guys as always,

Rocki

[uncloseted]

Effy’s Closet Watches Skins: 303 “Thomas”

Hey guys!  Sorry for the delay in this recap.  I actually did a whole thing and then promptly restarted my computer and deleted it all.  But hopefully that means I just had that much more time to think about this episode and this recap will be a really good one.  More after the cut...

- The first thing I want to say is I love the images of Thomas at the very end of the intro.  You may not have noticed this, but for each episode, the intro ends with two shots of the character whose episode it is.  In Thomas' case, the first shot is of him alone in a field, turned away from the camera.  He's in a new place, totally isolated.  And in the next one, he's looking up, optimistically and cheerfully.  This is new to him, but he's going to figure it out.

- The first shot is this gorgeous view of the city, juxtaposed with Thomas' rundown, abandoned flat.  It's dingy and there's trash everywhere.  We don't see Thomas yet.  Just a close up of his hands putting down his cassette player and a photo of his family.  Already, we know what's important to Thomas- he's musical, and he cares about his family more than anything else.  The music starts playing, and we pan up to see Thomas with a big smile on his face, practicing in the dusty mirror- "hello! I am Thomas!  So glad to meet you!"  South African rapper Mapaputsi's song "Kleva" is what Thomas is listening to.  It's juxtaposed with images of Bristol- the Union Jack on a flagpole outside his building, the English flag flying off of someone's balcony.  Already, we've been introduced to the core of Thomas's dilemma throughout his entire time on the show- how much is he Congolese? How much is he British?  How much should he assimilate to British culture?  

Thomas does an adorable dance in his layers and layers of coats, hats,  and gloves.  This flat may look dingy to us, but to Thomas, it's luxury, and he's clearly so happy to be here.  He sets up his toothbrush and toothpaste with love, cleans some of the trash up, and sets out his sleeping mat.  The water in his shower comes out brown at first, but it's okay!  It goes clear eventually.  The color of his skin contrasted against the red tile in the bathroom is gorgeous.  The camera lingers for a second on Thomas' necklace that he later gives to Pandora- this is a necklace that's clearly important to him.

- Thomas exits his flat and looks out over his new city.  A woman comes out of her flat with her young son.  Thomas introduces himself, just as he practiced, with a big smile.  The little boy responds, "hello!" before getting dragged away by his mother.  Clearly she's not quite as excited to meet Thomas as he is to meet her, and he looks a little bit put down about it.

- Thomas calls his own mother, and she's not too different to the mother we just saw.  Thomas excitedly tells her that everything is great, that he found a super cool flat, that he's excited for her to see it, it's super luxury, really incredible... and all she wants to know is has he found a job. "Yes!" He lies, "I'm a sweeper... it's super easy", but before she can ask further, his card runs out of minutes.  He goes to the convenience store where he bought the card, saying "I bought this card for 120 minutes!"  The guy behind the counter is not having it.  Like Thomas, he's an immigrant, but he seems less than sympathetic to Thomas' plight. "My mother, she'll be very, very upset...." starts Thomas, and we get another insight into his personality.  He cares very much about what his overly critical mother thinks and wants to do her proud and prevent her from being angrier at him. Thomas digs in his pocket for more money, desperate to call his mother back, when some young English kids come into the store and begin stealing candy.   The man takes out his baseball bat to go and intimidate the boys, but Thomas' focus is on the donuts. Finally, he rips himself away to get involved in the fight that's quickly escalating in the shop.  A side note: the till in the shop says "no change given for the telephone", so it seems like maybe people try to rip this guy off frequently, or maybe he's just stingy.  Anyway, Thomas pulls one of the kids away and has a lovely little line, "cunt is a very bad word! Even in England, I think..."  Then his attention changes to the man, "what is this Paki they call you? Is that bad?"  And the man responds, "I'm from Delhi, I hate Pakis!"  I'm not sure why I love this line so much, but I do.  I guess it's because there's something so ridiculous and human about someone who was just targeted for their race being like, "I object to what you said because I also hate the group you just associated me with!"  The shopkeeper appreciates Thomas' help and rewards Thomas with a big bag of donuts, and Thomas looks pleased with himself that he could be of service.  As we find out through generation 2, Thomas is someone who takes honor very seriously, and who always wants to do the right thing (even when he's not totally sure what the right thing is). 

- At this point, if this is your first time watching the episode, you're probably wondering, "who are all those hooligans that we saw in the other two episodes, and who is this kid?"  But the show has a way of getting us to care about characters, and Thomas is no exception.  Anyway, he sits down at a bus stop to eat his donuts, and the camera pulls out.  Surprise!  There are Effy and Pandora, just waiting to meet this new boy who will eventually be very, very important to them.  And of course it's Effy and Pandora- who else would make friends with a random boy at a bus stop?  Maybe it's a bit ridiculous, but Pandora is ridiculous, and Thomas is a bit ridiculous, so the whole thing works really nicely.  At this point, I also want to point out that his series 4 episode starts in a similar way.  Instead of focusing on Thomas, it focuses on a new character, one we've never seen before, Sophia.  She walks by all of the main characters of gen 2, but instead of finding her Pandora, someone who will reach out to her and help her fit in... she jumps.  Skins is brilliant sometimes.  Back to the plot, Pandora is eyeing Thomas' donuts. It's hard not to, Thomas is eating them so enthusiastically.  Meanwhile, Effy is sitting disinterestedly, smoking a spliff and holding an Irn Bru.  Thomas belatedly realizes that he thinks he's being rude, and says, "of course!  I have too many!" and offers Pandora one.  He offers Effy one, and she turns him down. "Effy doesn't do donuts... [she does] drugs!" explains Pandora.  This is Thomas' first proper introduction to the idea that England has very different morals from Congo, but he's willing to see what happens.  Pandora takes a bunch of hits of the joint, and Thomas looks concerned (as he should be, given what happens next).  Thomas gives this cute small smile, like he likes this girl in spite of himself.  Effy looks super done with this whole situation, but Thomas doesn't seem to clock that.  He reaches out to shake her hand, like he practiced- "Hello! My name is Thomas! So glad to meet you!"  I wish I had something insightful to say about this interaction, but really I don't.  Thomas' energy compared to Effy's apathy is sort of funny, and I think again highlights the fact that the English are very different from the Congolese (or at least, from Thomas).  

Pandora pukes, and Effy is disgusted because this is the second time in two episodes that Pandora has done that.  Thomas throws Pandora over his shoulder like a goat, and they go to Effy's house.  Between these scenes, her boots changed from awful vinyl knee highs to her normal Sancho boots, but that still doesn't save this outfit for me.  What are those pearls, Effy?  Taking some fashion tips from Katie, I see...

- They enter the house, and Thomas pronounces it incredible.  Effy seems surprised by this, because she thinks of it as just a normal house, and it's a nice moment that underlines that Thomas had a very different upbringing from the rest of the gang.  There's also a blink and you'll miss it moment where Thomas realizes his hand is on Pandora's ass, and he looks just a little pleased before being all, "I must do the honorable thing!" and moving it.  They bring her upstairs and plunk her down on a chair.  "I think maybe these donuts are no good for you" he says with an incredibly endearing smile.  It's so obvious that he likes Pandora despite the fact that she's puking and overall just a total mess.  "Yeah, that must be it," Effy says, and she's warming up to him a bit.  She offers a little smile... and then she hears some noises from the other room.  Her suspicions have been confirmed- her mum is indeed having an affair. Thomas barges in and introduces himself to Anthea and Steve, breaking the tension, and Effy seems to appreciate it, giving him that little smile again.  Then she looks down, I guess because she's trying to process this, but it's hard to know what she's thinking.  Is it an "oh shit, I was hoping that this wasn't true" or is it a "fuck, now I have to keep this secret"?  It's hard to tell. 

- Thomas tries to make nice with his bitchy neighbor again- "good evening!" and she shuts the door without saying anything.  Thomas is clearly upset that she doesn't like him.  He goes to sleep and then is rudely awakened with a punch to the head.  Surprise! It's Johnny White, he owns this flat, and Thomas is squatting there.  One wonders whether his bitchy neighbor turned him in.  This scene is great because Johnny's thugs are pure nonsense.  Johnny is trying to be serious, but clearly his thugs don't really know what they're doing and aren't very bright.  One of them (I think his name is Bennie) is played by the same guy as Mini's mum's boyfriend, but I don't think they're meant to be the same character.  "Put the kettle on, please, lads," Johnny instructs, and they sit there staring at the kettle.  Heavy goes to say something, changes his mind, waits a few moments, and then offers up, "It's taking a long time there, boss." The second thug comments, "I keep saying, like. Probably shouldn't watch it. You know?"  Hilarious.  Skins does such a great job with its comedic extras.  The water eventually boils and Johnny White pours it into a cup noodles with tobacco sauce and downs it, because he wants Thomas to "know what kind of man he's dealing with".  

Thomas mostly looks disgusted and a bit confused at what he's suppsoed to take away from this. Mostly he seems concerned about Johnny littering.  He demands that Thomas give him "£300 deposit by Desperate Housewives on Thursday."  There's a great interaction between the thugs that you might miss if you're not paying attention: "JOHNNY: Say goodnight to Thomas, boys. MAN 2: See ya, cocker. MAN 1: Cheers, Thommo. All the best. MAN 2: Be lucky. MAN 1: He seemed like a nice lad to me. MAN 2: Yeah, but John's gonna fuck him. MAN 1: Oh, yeah. He is."  What can I say? I'm a sucker for a punch clock villain. 

- Thomas records a message for his family.  Even though he's spent the majority of the episode complaining about the cold and his life has just been threatened, he tells them, "here, the sun shines just like at home and there are many wonderful people."  He's an inherently optimistic person. He really believes that things are going to work out.  He sings his siblings a song, which continues to play over a shot where Thomas (the only black person in the group) tries to get onto a truck so that he can do some construction work.  One of the men tells him, "this isn't your work", but then takes pity on him and lets him know about a temp agency where they'll take anyone.  

Thomas goes into the office and tries to make smalltalk with the woman placing him in a job.  She asks for special skills, and he offers "I play all music. I run very, very fast. Like a dog. Also, I am mathematical. I will solve any equation."  With each question she asks, he looks excited, like maybe this one will be the one where he has the right answer!  But she deems that he has no special skills, qualifications, or experience of any kind, and his face falls.  But still, he pushes on- "my mother is coming, you see, and she is a very fussy lady".  Even in the face of literal gangster Johnny White, Thomas is most afraid of his mother.

- Thomas is now a janitor at Roundview, because of course he is.  He cleans the hallway very thoroughly and admires his work. Then the bell rings, and a hoard of students come through completely destroying all the work Thomas just did.  He looks crestfallen.  Effy walks by, but she doesn't notice him, or maybe she doesn't recognize him.  We get a really great and iconic interaction between Katie and Effy here.  Effy is clearly still preoccupied with her mum's affair, and Katie still just wants Effy to like her, I guess because Effy still isn't giving her the time of day and that only makes Katie want her validation more.  "KATIE: Effy! Effy! Effy! Excuse me! Effy, hi! Look. I got a new top. It's cool, isn't it? When you've got tits like mine, you've gotta flash them haven't you? EFFY: Sorry? KATIE: Breasts, girl. You should try it. EFFY: I never try."  Katie looks genuinely confused by this, like she doesn't understand what sort of game Effy is playing.  Katie's whole life is about trying, and so the idea that she just... wouldn't... is perplexing to her, I think especially because Effy has everything Katie tries so hard to get.  Effy walks away and Katie turns her attention to Emily to get her anger at the interaction out of her system.  "Stop fucking following me, would you?"  Emily tries to protest, but Katie's already gone.  

Thomas has noticed the situation and engages Emily. "THOMAS: A strange place, this college. EMILY: Sorry? THOMAS: Everyone is loud and they care about nothing. EMILY: Yeah. You're right. THOMAS: You are the same as your sister. EMILY: I'm not the same as her. THOMAS: No? Maybe you're a little more pretty. EMILY: Cheeky."  Thomas is giving Emily an opportunity to take her power back, whether he means to or not.  He's letting her say, "I'm not like my sister", and it seems like it might be the first time she's ever actually said that out loud to someone. Maybe because Thomas is new, or the janitor, she feels like it's safe to say that to him.  He tells her that she's the more attractive one, and that's definitely something Emily hasn't heard before.  She looks reluctantly pleased and it's adorable.

- Emily walks away, and Thomas pronounces her backside as being "most satisfactory".  I like this because at times Thomas can seem a little too honorable.  This gives us a little reminder that he's still a teenage guy.  He turns his attention back to the hallway only to realize that it's a complete mess again.  And then he hears Africanish music and abandons his job to follow the noise.  It's a dance class where they're "acting Africa" and "stalking leopards".  Naturally, Pandora is in it, being an adorable... gazelle?  Maybe?  It's hard to tell what she's supposed to be, but she's really into it, and Thomas is charmed.  Pandora keeps dancing even after they're supposed to be done, in typical Pandora form.  

Thomas goes over to the drums and looks at the instruments.  He's comforted. "Hello, friend," he says as he begins to play.  This is the first time this episode where Thomas allows himself to let down his cheery exterior, to really feel homesick.  Pandora sneaks back into the room to see him under the guise of forgetting her tail.  She complements him on his "fast fingers" and then says, "Thomas? Why are you crying?"  And I love this because 1) Pandora remembers his name, even though she was so drunk she was puking when they met, 2) Pandora recognizes him, even though Effy didn't, and 3) she's not beating around the bush.  She sees he's upset and she doesn't want to be polite and pretend like she doesn't notice.  She just wants to help.  It's a really lovely scene, Pandora, an English girl, dressed up like Thomas' homeland, reaching out and trying to make him comfortable in his new home.

- Pandora takes Thomas to her Aunt Elizabeth's house, and fuck is that exterior shot gorgeous. They have a nice little conversation as they walk up to the house, "PANDORA: Effy told me you carried me back, stripped me naked, and laid me tenderly in your bed. THOMAS: Excuse me? I didn't... What? PANDORA: You must be wondrously strong to carry me. THOMAS: I've carried heavier goats. PANDORA: You're funny! THOMAS: Am I? PANDORA: Yeah. And you like all the same things as me. Dancing, doughnuts..."  I love this conversation.  First of all, Effy, you sly dog, you laid the groundwork for this ship!  But also, I like that they're showing us Pandora and Thomas getting to know each other, finding the things they have in common.  They're showing us why this relationship works, and in the thirty seconds that this scene is, I'm completely sold on the idea that they should be together.  Their outfits are great, too.  Pandora is all pastels and polka dots and Thomas has more muted tones and stripes.  They both look a bit ridiculous. They're not matching, but they're complementary, and I think it's such a nice reflection of their relationship, two people who are the same naive, optimistic, slightly bizarre type of person.  Thomas asks how many people live in Aunt Elizabeth's place, and Pandora says, "one! Auntie Lizzie has a wicked load of stuff."  And again, as in Effy's house, the point is underlined- this is not a world Thomas grew up in. 

 Auntie Elizabeth has a set of chainsaws displayed on her wall, as well as an umbrella stand filled with canes.  She does indeed have a wicked load of stuff.  Elizabeth gives them tea, and it turns out to be made from pot.  Thomas realizes that he has an opportunity here, and says "I would be very pleased to see how it's grown".  Aunt Elizabeth says that they can go once they've gotten "well and truly sconed" and I'm not sure if she knows the tea is weed or not.  Thomas says, "maybe I could sell some. I think people would like it very much!"  Aunt Elizabeth tells Pandora that she could do much worse and gives Thomas as much weed as he wants.  They go back to Thomas' place, and Pandora says, "You don't have much furniture in here, do you, Thomas?"  Thomas replies by talking about his mother again: "I must buy some before my mother comes. She is a powerful lady, most powerful. Especially on the backhand."  Pandora goes on a little rant about how there's hardly enough tea in the bag for three or four cups, and that's definitely not enough to buy a sofa, and looks horrified when Thomas puts the "tea" in a joint and goes to smoke it.   Finally, Pandora understands.  "You're amazing!" she says, and she kisses him in this really squishy, adorable, totally Pandora way.  "Wow, now I get it.  That was kissing."  They're such a great ship and the writers really messed up in series 4.

- Meanwhile, at the Stonem house, Effy is having a silent staredown with her mum while her dad prattles on about a fight Steve got in with the Managing Director of their company the background.  She has wine with her dinner, which I guess explains some things about where her parents are when it comes to her.  "You liked him, didn't you, love?" Jim asks Anthea.  Effy smiles a knowing smile while Anthea tries to get out of this conversation, but apparently Jim has invited Steve over for drinks because they have a lot in common.  That you do, Jim, more than you know.  "I've made a friend!" Jim says, and it's a bit heartbreaking because he seems so excited that he's got a friend.  The door rings, and Jim says, "that'll be him now" and goes to answer it.  Anthea and Effy get a moment to themselves. "It's more complicated than you think," Anthea tries, but Effy is angry. "It doesn't seem complicated. You're fucking my dad's line manager. No biggie."  Pandora shows up, and Jim asks her her name again.  When she answers, he mutters "ridiculous" under his breath, and I love it.  Anthea is trying to hide her face so Thomas doesn't recognize her, but to no avail.  He goes up to Jim and says, "So glad to meet you again!  You look different with your clothes on!"  I think that's pushing the limit of what's believable, but maybe to Thomas all white men look the same. 

- Cook, JJ, and Freddie are standing in a parking lot.  JJ tries to voice that he's still upset with Cook, but Cook is way beyond that.  Cook ogles the girls, and Freddie informs him that they all hate him because he's a tit.  Pandora and Effy explain the situation, and it becomes clear that Effy has gathered the troops here to help Thomas out.  At the mention of Johnny White, Freddie looks like he's about to back out, but at the mention of 13 ounces of weed, he's convinced of staying.  Then Naomi appears.  "Hi!" she says, and gives a little wave.  She's happy to be included.  But then right away, Katie is on the offensive, making gay jokes about Naomi, and Naomi turns right back around to leave.  "See you".  This is Naomi putting herself out there, and she immediately rejected and othered by this group.  She so badly wants to be like everyone else, to be included even though she wants everyone to think she doesn't care, and in just a few seconds of being there all of her suspicions are confirmed.  She doesn't fit in, these people don't like her, they're not going to accept her... and that's the final straw for Emily.  It's one thing to follow along with what Katie wants when she's the only person getting hurt, but this is Naomi, the love of her life, and Emily isn't going to stand for it. She can't let Naomi feel hurt and left out, and she needs to fix it right then and there. "Oh, for fuck’s sake! She didn’t kiss me, OK?...I kissed her. I was drunk and someone gave me MDMA and … I felt like fucking kissing someone. Satisfied?"  Finally the viewer gets confirmation of what we've suspected since the first episode- the relationship between Naomi and Emily is not nearly as simple as Naomi being some sort of predator.  

Effy gives this little smile.  She's proud of Emily for finally standing up to Katie, and she's been on this Naomily ship from the first time she saw the two of them in a room together, so I think she's very satisfied with the way this is progressing, thank you very much.  Then Effy looks over her shoulder, because of course Naomi is about to come back.  Emily has stood up for her, acknowledged in a small way that she likes Naomi as something.  Anything more than this would drive Naomi away and make Katie angry, but this? This is just toeing the line, and Emily gets what she wants.   Then Cook makes a gross comment about Naomi and Emily kissing, and Effy immediately shuts him down, "you promised us a party?"  And I love this, too, because she's protecting them.  Naomi and Emily aren't ready to talk further about their feelings and she knows that, so she distracts Cook.  Effy seems on the surface like she doesn't care about anyone or anything, but really, she's someone that wants to protect everyone around her as much as she can.

- Cook moves a manhole and reveals a gold light to rival the briefcase in Pulp Fiction.  It looks like they're in some sort of cave, and everyone goes to sell Thomas' weed.  But wait! Johnny White is here, and things are going to get messy.  But first, we have some more Naomily to attend to while Johnny White gets trampled by some pilled-up party kids.  "how much have you sold?" Emily asks Naomi, "I've done three bags."  Naomi looks scared and also like there's nowhere she'd rather be, and like she doesn't really know how to reconcile the two.  Naomi puts up her wall, "I don't even know why I'm doing this" as if the reason ("I'm doing this to spend time with you") isn't perfectly obvious to them both.  Effy appears to lurk in a corner and watch her favorite ship progress.  Naomi says, "I don't care what your sister thinks," but she does, she totally does, because what Katie thinks is important to Emily and Emily is important to her.  Naomi is standing sideways this entire conversation, not even looking directly at Emily.  Her body language is totally closed off.  Emily says, "Yeah, well, I do. So thanks anyway."  

The she takes a chance, not quite knowing how it will land.  She's been good about not pushing Naomi too far up until now, but now she's put herself out there for Naomi, and I think she's wondering if maybe Naomi will do the same. "I didn't take MDMA that night. I just wanted to kiss you. I want to kiss you now."  Naomi accuses Emily of being gay, and Emily apologises.  She knows that's too much for Naomi, that she's pushed her too far.  There's so much tension in this scene, both of them wanting but not knowing how to express their feelings in a way that's safe.  Naomi is too scared of what will happen if she says yes, if she admits that this is what she wants.  She knows it's something that could make or destroy her entire life.  So she runs away.  "Yeah, me too" is her response to Emily's apology, and on the one hand it seems like a "I'm sorry I can't be what you want" but I think it's really a "I'm sorry I'm not brave enough for this right now."  Emily being gay makes her life a lot more complicated, because now the potential for something to happen is real.  "Shit shit shit" Emily says, because she knows that she's pushed Naomi too far and maybe ruined her chance of something ever happening.  Emily turns around and there's Effy, who gives her a smirk and shakes her head a bit.

- Thomas enters the scene and hastily asks, "which are you?" to which Emily responds "gay! I mean, Emily."  I think this is the first time she's said that out loud and again, Thomas is the one giving her the opportunity to distance her identity from her sister's.  He finds it important to know which one she is instead of treating them as interchangeable.  He gives her the opportunity to say who she is.  And in response, he's the first person she trusts when she comes out, even if it's accidental.  Later, he’ll be the person she goes to when everything is fucked up with Naomi, but we’re not there yet. 

Then Johnny White pops up out of nowhere, and he's like "you're on my turf, we're going to beat you up" and Thomas runs, taking this opportunity to show off his rap skills.  Pandora is very impressed and blows him a kiss. She's lame and it's perfect.  Johnny for whatever reason doesn't recognize Thomas now that he's wearing a hat, and leaves, so Thomas is safe for now.  They leave the party and count the money.  Effy seems pleased that she's made this happen. - Johnny White shows back up and threatens Thomas before he notices Cook.  He rips his necklace off of Cook's throat, but before things can get worse, Thomas steps in.  Cook helped him out tonight, so I think he feels like it's the right thing to do to protect Cook (which is why it's so upsetting when Cook betrays him by sleeping with Pandora later).  They're friends now, and friends protect friends, at least in Thomas' mind.  So he says, "You must be some kind of English pussy cunt. You heard me. I think you're afraid. Possibly your father was a homosexual donkey. I will fight you by myself. You can choose any weapon."  Johnny challenges him to a spicy pepper eating competition. 

 Everyone looks very solemn, and Effy is making this face like, "how on earth did we get into this situation?"  She also looks nothing like herself in these scenes.  Johnny says that his men will rape all the women if Thomas loses, and Bennie is all, "Um, boss, the lads... The lads aren't too keen, you know, on the rape."  And Johnny is like, "I'm talking dangerous!  Can't anyone talk dangerous anymore? FFS."  And it pulls this contest back into the realm of reality again, so it ends up sort of working.  

The shot of the peppers is really lovely and so, so Skins.  Effy looks almost embarrassed to be here.  Thomas takes a handful of them and Bennie seems genuinely worried for him, but Thomas is perfectly fine.  He smiles- it turns out this is his special skill from the village.  Everyone is tentatively proud of him, and he even gets a "well done, Thomas" from Effy.  Apparently his mother would forbid him from eating them, but he was a very naughty boy and has built up something of an immunity.  Now Thomas knows he's in a position to bargain- "If I win, I pay you no money, and you leave me and my friends alone forever."  Johnny White predictably gets very fucked up from eating the same amount of peppers Thomas did, so Thomas wins.  The gang is very amused.

- Thomas has finally gotten that couch he wanted earlier in the episode, and the gang is celebrating with booze and weed (and donuts for Thomas).  Thomas also has a mobile phone now, so he no longer has to rely on those phone cards he was buying at the beginning.  Pandora demands he come to bed with her, saying that she wants him to be her first.  She says "what do I want? Surfing and turfing. When do I want it? Now" and it's adorable because she's clearly trying hard to be sexy but doesn't quite know how.  

Before Thomas can get down to it, though, the doorbell rings, and finally, after hearing so much about him, his mother arrives with a big smile.  Maybe she's not as strict as we thought?  Thomas' siblings run in to hug him.  They clearly adore him and missed him.  "Let's see the flat," she says, and he responds with, "but I thought you weren't coming until next week!"  She demands a kiss and then says, "it's too long for you to be without supervision" and smiles like she's made a great joke.  Her honorable, up before sunrise to milk the goats son would never get up to anything irresponsible.  But just as she says that, Katie walks by with a bottle of rum, Effy and Cook are passionately making out (it's worth noting that Freddie is not participating in the party, instead sitting exasperatedly on the couch), and Pandora comes to ask him when he's going to come jump her, because she's taken her bra off and everything... before realizing that there's a woman at the door, and she should be trying to impress her.  

Thomas' mother says that she's sending him home and that all of the Skins gang is disgusting.  We see one single tear roll down Thomas' cheek, and then he's packed his bags to go back to Congo.  Pandora sits in her Aunt Elizabeth's house, her head in Elizabeth's lap next to a giant chainsaw.  It's interesting that she goes to Elizabeth instead of her mother- we'll learn in the next episode why that is.  Sidenote: we see Aunt Elizabeth smoking a joint in this scene, so it seems like she did know what the “tea” was all along. Last thought: Effy seems OOC in the latter half of this episode.  Less in control, less fit and mysterious.  But she has just found out that her mum is having an affair and they've just gotten in a fight about it, so I think she's taking more drugs than usual.  Which explains why her face is a little more expressive than usual. 

[darlingnisi]

Celebration 2019 VIP Day 3

Opening Session

Spirited start to the day! Fams started a party line around the soundstage to Let’s Work.

JD Steele also led us in a sing along of Raspberry Beret

Bob Cavallo

Moderated by Bobby Z

Earth Wind and Fire’s studio the Complex was the inspiration for Paisley Park. They filmed pickups for Purple Rain there and Prince told Cavallo  “I want want one of these”

WB didn’t know much about Purple Rain until it was almost done. It was financially backed by Prince and Cavallo ( Cavallo said he only contributed about 20%...the rest was Prince’s money or advances on his royalties)

Cavallo’s management agreement was about to run out. He told Steve Fargnoli to try to get a Prince to sign a contract for 5 more years. Prince said “I’ll sign one if you get me a movie and not about some drug dealer and jeweler...and I want my name above the title.

They had trouble getting people on board to write the movie William (Bill) Glenn (of Brian’s Song) wrote the first version but it was “not edgy enough...too TV”

No director would sign with them

Watched a movie called Reckless. There was a kid sitting behind him who asked what he thought. Cavallo said it was okay...the kid said “Well I edited it.”

Cavallo had dinner with Albert Magnoli the writer of that movie to see if he’d sign on for Purple Rain. He initially passed. Cavallo “You passed? You don’t have a pot to piss in and you pass? I’d  pay you 75k and you’re passing.” Magnoli thought it was too square. Cavallo “Then rewrite it”

“Mo Austin didn’t have anything to do with Purple Rain”

“He made that movie Paul Simon made. That was a failure.”

WB passed on producing the movie, Guber Peters also passed, as well as others

Richard Pryor’s company Indigo Films did NOT pass! Jim Brown (the football player) was CEO at the time. Both Richard and Jim were thrilled to do it! However Jim got mad that Cavallo hired a cinematographer without checking with him as he wanted to hire Black staff to support the project. Bob said he didn’t have time to wait to find some so Indigo dropped the project.

They had a completion bond gaurantor for the film and ended up being 3-4 weeks behind at one point. To catch up, they got more cameras and filmed the movie at multiple angles vs doing several takes. This caught them up.

Promo department thought When Doves Cry was a flop. They wanted Let’s Go Crazy to be the lead single.

Cavallo managed Earth Wind & Fire. (Other info about Cavallo opening a night club his senior year of college which was very successful. Bill Cosby opened for acts when he was coming up on the scene. “He met his wife there and I guess he did other things...” *groan from the audience

On how Cavallo and Prince first linked up Prince had gone to an EWF show and said “When I saw that show, it scared me. I don’t know if I can do something that good.” Asked to meet their manager. Cavallo went to see his show...where he was wearing a Trench coat, panty hose, and g-string. He said “Well young man...show was great....but I don’t think it’s alright to go out on stage in your underwear.”

Prince : Okay I’ll take them off.

He said there was maybe 20 people at that particular show 

Purple Rain was made with 7.6 million dollars 

They had to fight to get it into theaters to show it. “It was the race thing”

Even WB wasn’t on board at first as a distributor. Cavallo was trying to rally them “If you’re a young Black person age 11-30 and you see Prince headlining his own movie, you’ll go see it opening night.” 

At first they could only get a couple of theaters...and were told they couldn’t do it in the south because they were worried about race riots.

Cavallo went to the Chairman of WB with his case and he was on board “Get me 800 theaters or I’ll get someone who will”. (These days movies open in about 2k theaters in the US)

Prince got 15% gross cash guarantee for 3 films

The Purple Rain sequel pitch Cavallo had for Prince  was Purple Rain 2 : Further Adventures of The Time. The Time went to Vegas and got in trouble with the mob and cops. Only showgirls liked them. Prince wasn’t in it except for a cameo to give advice.

He also tried to get P to get Madonna to star in Under The Cherry Moon

Prince wrote Under the Cherry Moon even though there’s another name on it.

Cavallo wasn’t a fan of Kristin Scott Thomas as the star. He gave Prince a tape of the options for actresses and put her last. 

Prince : “I see why you put her last in the group of girls you figured she would outshine the others!”

Cavallo went on to manage the Disney music catalog among other numerous things.

“The greatest joy I had in the music business was with Prince”

A memory : Prince calls “When are you gonna stop beating that dead horse?”

Cavallo : “What dead horse”

Prince : Earth Wind and Fire

Cavallo scolds him for saying such things

Prince : If you knew how good I was, you’d be meet me in Minneapolis

Cavallo thought about how cold it was there and sent Fargnoli instead

Tour Part 2

Video editing bay

More from Vienna 2014

Forever in My Life (With a Bass solo by P...noticed his voice and bass were turned WAY up in the mix)

Controversy

1999

Atrium

I had to smh at Peach being played during the moment of silence haha gosh #bouncingtitties

Cream top is in the Diamonds and Pearls room which is where I usually spend most of my time watching the show footage in there

Studio B

Nothing really new here if you’ve done a VIP or Ultimate VIP tour. 

The isolated vocals for Breakdown are still in the control room

We took pictures with one of the P mic stand Symbols. 

The coat on display on the right is the same one he’s wearing on the left

Screening

Musicology May 28, 2004 (Shout out to his sneakers)

Let’s Go Crazy

I Would Die 4 U

When Doves Cry

Baby I’m a Star

Shhh (Good job on the slow pans up his body btw)

DMSR

Acoustic Set (Little Red Corvette, Cream, Raspberry Beret 12:01, Adore, Sweet Thing, Dear Mr Man/Hit the Road Jack, 7) He was super chatty during this. Told the story of going to an after party from the previous night and a “da-runk” (how he said it lolol) guy told him his favorite song was Strawberry Barrette. P made sure to sing that as the lyric when he did Raspbert Beret.

The Funk Soldiers Concert

(I def sprinted up to the front for this! This is MY CREW!)

Rock and Roll is Alive

Chelsea Rogers

Party Up

Black Muse 🙌🏾

Life of the Party

13 They had a dance troupe of 6 young Black girls from a dance studio Prince donated to dancing to this and it gave me LIFE! SO cute and completely appropriate!

You Make My Sun Shine

SHADES OF UMBER OMG 🙌🏾 (Sorry for how I tweeted about this btw, this is what I meant as a nod to the boot listeners. One of the only times this was performed live was at Montreux 2013. It was also extra special because they had local young people doing this song with them and it sounded FANTASTIC!)

Why You Wanna Treat Me So Bad

Guitar

Act of God

This was my favorite concert of all of them truly! They added nice touches like playing associated videos behind them or displaying the album art of the albums they were playing from. Their show is always a cross catalog musicology lesson of P’s discog and I appreciate that so much!

Also briefly talked to some reps from Sony again this day. I will say from our conversation I do trust that team with P’s music. They were not suits, they were FANS. Talked deep cuts and Prince nerd geekery with them. Really appreciate that the people trying to do things there are fams as much as we all are, truly. (No seriously I was like don’t look too close at my social media please and we laughed about it). Very excited about stuff that’s on the way! (Different department than the purple wax stuff so don’t ask, lol...)

Probably my favorite day of the 3 guys wow. 

[meleuki]

g2k me uncomfortably well

1. What is your middle name? 

It’s my grandmother’s first name. I’m not gonna say what it is tho. 

2. How old are you? 

I am an age. 

3. When is your birthday? 

31st of March, same day as Angus Young hell yeah. 

4. What is your zodiac sign? 

Aries

5. What is your favourite colour? 

Black, Purple & Red.

6. What’s your lucky number?

1,714 (long story). 

7. Do you have any pets?

I have one little dog, he’s cute asf. 

8. Where are you from? 

Australia. 

9. How tall are you?

5′4/5′5, I can’t tell most of the time. 

10. What shoe size are you? 

US 9 or 10

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 

um like 12, but I only wear about 5 of them regularly.

12. What was your last dream about? 

some dude turning into this cannibalistic animal type thing & me becoming friends with two ghost boys who murdered a bunch of people, and then got murdered and having to figure the rest of the case out for them. (supernatural has kinda been rubbing off on my dreams lmao.)

13. What talents do you have? 

I can play guitar and piano. I can cook pretty good?? I also have a talent for being a dumb ass. 

14. Are you psychic in any way? 

I don’t believe I am.

15. Favourite song? 

atm, Enter Sandman by Metallica

16. Favourite movie? 

IT (2017), or, Scream. 

17. Who would be your ideal partner? 

oh golly, I don’t know actually. I just think I need someone who has some confidence, a kind soul and an open mind, and is able to put a smile on my face even when i dont want it. So far, I haven’t met someone who has caught my eye, but i hope one day I do. 

18. Do you want children? 

Yes, YES.

19. Do you want a church wedding? 

no I don’t. I want one in a garden area type thingy. 

20. Are you religious? 

i’m not sure.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 

yeah like 4-5 times. 

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 

nope, I don’t plan on it. 

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 

I haven’t. 

24. Baths or showers?

both

25. What color socks are you wearing? 

I’m not wearing any. 

26. Have you ever been famous? 

pft, nope.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 

I would, but only for the reach of my music. 

28. What type of music do you like? 

Rock ‘n Roll, Blues, Jazz, Indie, Classical, Punk, etc. (pretty much anything)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 

I have never.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 

four. two under my head, and two on the side of my bed. 

31. What position do you usually sleep in? 

i’m either on my right or my left side, one leg up so my knee is diagonal with my stomach and one stretched out, one hand at my chest and one arm resting over my side. 

32. How big is your house? 

one story, medium size ish. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 

coffee... and maybe sometimes I’ll have a smoothie. 

34. Have you ever fired a gun? 

yeppp, I have. It was ages ago tho. 

35. Have you ever tried archery? 

I’ve only really ever done archery on summer camps or school camps. Although I was pretty good at it whenever I tried. 

36. Favourite clean word? 

spellbinding

37. Favorite swear word? 

F U C K

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 

Maybe a little over two days. 

39. Do you have any scars? 

I do. Some on my knees, a lot on my back and my hips. My fingers are pretty scratched up a lot too. 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 

‘scuse me what? no, never. 

41. Are you a good liar? 

Indeed I am. But I don’t like to lie. 

42. Are you a good judge of character? 

I’d like to think I’m good at reading people. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 

I can do a pretty generic American accent and a stupid posh British one. 

44. Do you have a strong accent? 

I’d say I don’t, especially hearing me compared to some other Australians - my accent isn’t strong at all. You can definitely tell where I’m from though. 

45. What is your favourite accent? 

Russian, or German. 

46. What is your personality type? 

Chaotic dumb bitch, who rants about nature, peace and love. 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 

um, my macpac jacket, which was like $300. (It was also a birthday present from my mum, and she worked there at the time so it was cheap.)

48. Can you curl your tongue? 

I think I can??

49. Are you an innie or an outie? 

Innie. 

50. Left or right-handed? 

right-handed. A bitch can do jack shit with her left. 

51. Are you scared of spiders? 

I used to be, I kinda want a pet tarantula now tbh. 

52. Favourite food? 

Chicken noodle soup, fight me. 

53. Favourite foreign food?

Lasagne. 

54. Are you a clean or messy person? 

Usually, I’m pretty messy, I can’t work in an environment that is completely clean, but somedays I just like to clean shit up. 

55. Most used phrase? 

“Sorry, what?”

56. Most used word? 

definitely, “bro”.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 

if a shower is included, like an hour. But without a shower, like 20mins. 

58. Do you have much of an ego? 

No, I don’t. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 

Suck them. (how tf you gon taste a lollipop if you bite it??)

60. Do you talk to yourself? 

All the fucking time. When I’m writing I talk myself through the story by mumbling the words to myself a lot. Other times I might be doing the dishes, getting dressed or doing something mundane and I’ll just begin to have a conversation with myself. 

61. Do you sing to yourself? 

bitch yes, all the fucking time. 

62. Are you a good singer? 

I like to think that I’m okay. 

63. Biggest Fear? 

Losing my ability to see. 

64. Are you a gossip? 

No, unless the person in question has done something shitty to me or a close friend, AND I will only talk about with a close friend. 

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

66. Do you like long or short hair? 

I don’t mind either way, but long hair makes my knees weak.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 

bitch, HAHAH, nope. 

68. Favourite school subject? 

English, but really only when we’re doing creative writing. 

69. Extrovert or Introvert? 

Smack me right in the middle. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 

nope, never ever, and I never plan on it. 

71. What makes you nervous? 

A lot of shit, not gonna lie. 

72. Are you scared of the dark? 

yES, the dark stems from my main fear, loss of my sight. I can’t be in control of the situations around me. 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 

depends what kind of mistakes we’re taking here.

74. Are you ticklish? 

yes, and I fucken hate it. 

75. Have you ever started a rumour? 

I don’t think I ever have. Maybe accidentally?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 

people call me a mum? So, I guess? 

77. Have you ever drank underage? 

wtf no, who do u think I am wtf???? JK, yes, all the time. Whenever I get the chance. 

78. Have you ever done drugs? 

ask @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx .

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some dude named Tyler, he turned out to be an ass tho. 

80. How many piercings do you have? 

Just my ears, but I want like four more. 

81. Can you roll your R’s?

a little, but only for like two seconds. 

82. How fast can you type? 

@livewiredroger tells me I’m an aggresive typer so, I guess I’m pretty fast at punching the fuck outta my keyboard. 

83. How fast can you run? 

ok, kinda hate running, it hurts my tits. But I’m a sprinter, long-distances kill me. 

84. What colour is your hair?

black, dark brown and honey brown. I dyed it black and it’s growing out, looks cool tho so I don’t mind. 

85. What color is your eyes? 

blue, green, grey. I don’t know which one, I’ve been told all of them too many times. 

86. What are you allergic to? 

nothing that I know of. Pretty sure I’ve got an intolerence to mushrooms tho, and dairy does weird things to my stomach. 

87. Do you keep a journal? 

I do, I haven’t written in it in a few weeks tho. Reading back through my depressive episodes isn’t a fun trip. 

88. What do your parents do? 

job-wise? They’re both teachers for primary school kids. 

89. Do you like your age? 

I guess? I dunno.

90. What makes you angry? 

A lot of things, but I’ve learnt to control it, mostly. 

91. Do you like your own name? 

I don’t hate it. 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I have. Boy names; East, Patrick, Samuel. Girls names; Piper, Lila, Milan. 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I would love a boy. If I had a girl I would love her all the same. But right now, a boy is what I have in mind. 

94. What are you strengths? 

kill em with kindness

95. What are your weaknesses?

I can be very forward, or very frustrated. 

96. How did you get your name? 

my mum just turned to my dad and was like, “hey what about this?” and my dad was like, “yup, sure thing.” 

97. Were your ancestors royalty? 

NAh. 

98. Do you have any scars?

 I answered this one already?

99. Colour of your bedspread? 

blue and beige. 

100. Colour of your room? 

One wall is aqua blue, the others are white. Mostly blue aesthetic I guess. 

I tag: @guns-n-crue @gretavanyeeeeet @solohqrry @punkslap @livewiredroger

@antheasnow @malibubarbievince

[sage-selfships]

Sage H. D. - Bully Self-Insert

This is my Self-Insert for Bully/Canis Canem Edit! I made the art myself and would appreciate if you didn’t use it! The Template was created by Silkvale and found here! I will post updated versions to @kitty-selfshipping so uhm yeah, follow that blog to read it when it’s totally finished or edited.

If you are interested in reading the current info about my Bully Self-Insert, please read under the cut!

Biographical Information Full Name [& Pronunciation] - Sage Holland Drage ( S AI J ) ( H AW - l uh n d ) ( d r ai j ) Meaning - Herb or Prophet, Ridgeland, Dragon Set Age - 14-15 Certified Birthdate - 12 January 1992 (not my real birth year, but shh) Astrological Sign -  Capricorn Pronouns - They/them or He/Him Aliases & Preferred Nicknames – Dumbbell - Sage might not actually like the nickname, but Mandy WIles insist on calling Sage it whenever Mandy sees Sage, so Sage is  Dragon - As some people may not be able to pronounce Sage’s surname, Sage just call themselves Dragon to make it easier for everyone. Ms. Shy - Even though Sage prefers to go by he/him or they/them pronouns, people insist on calling them ms, and many people consider them shy because of how they seem terrified of new people Puppy - A nickname Sage got from Kirby Olsen, that they claim matches their general personality Ethnicities Distant Descendants : American, British,  Dominant Descendants : Norwegian, Swedish, Danish Physical Description Hair Color - Brown Eye Color - Blue Weight – Height - Typical Clothing Wear :  Maroon or pink vest, purple skirt, blue bow, purple bow, pink shoes - School   uniform  Red stained dress and blonde wig - Halloween costume, that is supposed to resemble Carrie White from the movie Carrie Faux fur coat, faux fur ushanka - Winter attire Figure/Build - Distinguishing Features/Scars/ or Birthmarks – A mole just over their lip Explain: Tattoos: Piercings: Frequently Worn Jewelry: Choker belt around their neck Personal Information Current Living Arrangements - Sage currently lives with three of their American relatives, but also they technically live at Bullworth, in the girl’s dorm Originated from - Vestfold, Norway Traveled Territories - Hobbies -   Fears – Spiders, snakes, insects, heights, scarecrows, most of the jocks Religion/Beliefs – Atheist Why?: Sage grew up in an atheist family, as simple as that. Health Behaviors Physical Ailments/ Disabilities/ Issues – Addiction(s) [Sex, Drugs, Smoking, Alcohol, Other]  Why?: Any regular medication taken? – Medication for their Iron Deficiency and for their Hives Chronological Information Profession - Student Likes - Dislikes - Goals/Ambitions – Most Instructive/Painful/Memorable Experience - Story behind experience: Weapons/Equipment - Sage mostly fights using their hands but can use a baseball if they need to Personal Attributes Personality - Strengths - Weaknesses - Good Habits - Bad Habits - Fetishes/Strange Behaviors - Stereotype - Shy kid with few friends As you know them better(and you like them) : As you know them better(and you hate them) :   Ratings on Personal Qualities (don't go overboard make reasonable stats for your character) Physical Strength : 4/10 Sage might not regularly train, but surprisingly Sage is stronger than they seem Attractive : 5/10 Sage doesn’t consider themselves the most beautiful and mostly blames it upon their parents and grandparents for how they look Honesty : 7/10 Sage hates lying in general, but still does lie if they need to. Rule Abiding : 3/10 Sage thinks certain rules are to be broken and others are to be broken. Sociability : 3/10 Sage is quite shy when it comes to meeting new people, but if they muster up enough confidence they can make new friends. Bullworth Academy Information Reason for enrolling: Sage has lacked disiplince and Sage’s parents had relatives that lived close Bullworth, so they decided on sending them to a Clique - Standing and Rank in Social Circle  - Room Number – 4 Roommate(s)-  Zoe Taylor & Beatrice Trudeau Favourite Subject(s) – English,  & Art Why?: Sage loves English because they’ve felt so motivated and  Least Favorite Subject(s) – Why?: Favourite Teacher – Mr. Galloway & Mrs. Philips Why?: Mr. Galloway - Sage takes a liking to Mr. Galloway, mostly because he encouraged and gave Sage a warm welcome to the school, during Sage’s first day at Bullworth Mrs. Philips - Sage got a few compliments Least Favorite Teacher –  Mr. Slawter Why?: Sage is quite afraid of Mr. Slawter, mostly because he yelled at Sage during their first class Knowledgeability Language(s) – Norwegian, English Schooling Level - Grade 8-9, Expertise – Chemistry - Math - English - Geography - Sage knows a few things, like where certain European countries are, but after that, nothing more Politics/Law - Economy - Cooking/Culinary - Shop - Botany/Biology - Mythology - high / Sage knows a lot about Norrøn Mythology and enjoys learning more and more about it Art - high / Sage highly enjoys Art and feels that they know a lot about the rules about realism and perspective Photography - Sage knows how to use a camera, and what settings look good or not, so they consider themselves at a 5/10 Reading Level - Overall Intelligence Level(s) - Interpersonal and Naturalistic. Relationships Statuses   (once you list characters here, delete them from the other list near the end of this information sheet, makes things less confusing) (Also, please describe the relationships of your character with other characters) Trusted Companions Closest Friend(s) –   Milliz - “I trust her with my life. Nothing more or less to say. And might I add that her and Earnest are really freakiNG ADOREABLE?” (Jeg beklager ikke for at du er satt på denne lista, Milliz) Friend(s) -   Kirby Olsen - Despite Kirby being a jock and Sage being afraid of most of the jocks, Kirby and Sage are pretty close and    

Hated Rivals Worst Enemies – Intolerable Students - Harmless Acquaintances Tolerated Students - Tolerated Townsfolk - Hot Encounters Hinted Attractions - Crush(es) - Lover(s) - Gary Smith, Jimmy Hopkins and Petey (Ey, don’t judge me please or make comments about this please, I just ship myself with all of them :( I will also make like another post or tweet where I just describe everything from lore to headcanons about this ) Ex(s) - None Extra Information Eating Habits Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore – Favorite Food(s): Favorite Drink(s): Disliked Food(s): Disliked Drink(s): Added Information Proclaimed Theme Song(s) - Either Dancing Queen by ABBA or Scent – Favourite Color: Favourite Season: Favourite Animal: Sage  Favourite Music Genre: Sage can’t really choose, but they are very fond of country and Pop Most Memorable Quote – Various Quotes Through Interaction :  “ Walking around – “I sure hope Mandy was joking when he called me a dumbbell...” “I don’t know jack dritt about math, how am I supposed to get a good grade?” “Gary mentioned something about rats, wondered what he was on about.” “I’m considering joining a clique... but which one?” “ “ “ “ When the fire alarm goes off – “Stuff like this always happens when you least expect it.” “Sure hope this isn’t a drill, I don’t want my slippers to get wet again without reason.” Greetings Good Terms: “Hiya!” “Hey there, best friend!” “How ya doing, sweetie?” “How are you doing, buddy?” “Hey, anyhting fun happen recently?” “Bro! What’s up?” “Heisann!” (Norwegian for ‘Hey there’) Bad Terms: “Please leave me alone” “I rather not talk.” “Ew.” “Get out of my face!” “Leave me alone!” “Continue being around me and I’ll beat you up! Or cry!” Saying goodbye – Good Terms: “Have a good day! “See you later!” “Hope you have a good night!” Bad Terms: “”See you in Hell, I uhm mean class.” “Leave already.” “I’m getting a headache, gotta go.” “Byyeee, see you never.” When Flirted With – Good Terms: “I uhm...” “Thank you....” “Well I uhm, thank you so much! I uhm haha, we should hang out or something!” “I feel flattered. I’ll uhh have to go over there until the blushing stops.” “Continue acting this sweet and you’re going to be getting ladies really quickly.” “ “You’re such a sweetheart!” “If I were of age, I would marry you right here on the spot, but I’m still too young.” Bad Terms: “I wouldn’t say I don’t like you, but I’m not that interested.” “Not to be rude, but no.” “That better not be trying to make me blush, because it didn’t work at all.” “ “

Watching a fight – “I know I shouldn’t watch this crap, but damn it feels so right, right now!” “ Attacking – “I’m sorry!” “I have no choice in this situation, so I apologize beforehand!” “I learnt this one from my friend!” While Fighting – “I really wish it didn’t have to end with one of us being hurt!” “Ouch! Thanks, I guess!”

Chasing someone – “You can run, but you can also hide!” “Come back here! please...!” Out of breath – “This always happens....” “Why do I have to have iron deficiency? When hidden from – “ Knocked out – “ Stinkbomb explodes – “I can’t see shit!” “I should be happy I can’t smell anything from before!” Opinions on students who reside at Bullworth Academy– (in alphabetical order) Bullies   Davis White: Ethan Robinson: Russell Northrop: Tom Gurney: Trent Northwick: Troy Miller: Wade Martin: Zoe Taylor: Greasers Hal Esposito: Johnny Vincent: Lefty Mancini: Lola Lombardi: Lucky De Luca: Norton Williams: Peanut Romano: Ricky Pucino: Vance Medici: Jocks Bo Jackson: Casey Harris: Damon West: Dan Wilson: Juri Karamazov: Luis Luna: Mandy Wiles: Ted Thompson: Nerds Algernon Papadopoulos: Beatrice Trudeau: Bucky Pasteur: Cornelius Johnson: Donald Anderson: Earnest Jones: Fatty Johnson: Melvin O'Connor: Thad Carlson: Non-Cliques Angie Ng: Christy Martin: Constantinos Brakus: Eunice Pound: Gloria Jackson: Gordon Wakefield: Ivan Alexander: Karen Johnson: Lance Jackson: Melody Adams: Pedro De La Hoya: Ray Hughes: Sheldon Thompson: Trevor Moore: Preppies Bif Taylor: Bryce Montrose: Chad Morris: Derby Harrington: Gord Vendome: Justin Vandervelde: Parker Ogilvie: Pinky Gauthier: Tad Spencer: Opinion on Adults who teach and patrol at Bullworth Academy – (in alphabetical order) Miss Danvers: Miss Peters: Mr. Galloway: Mr. Luntz: Mr. Matthews: Mr. Wiggins: Mrs. Carvin: Mrs. MacRae: Mrs Peabody: Ms. Phillips: Neil: Prefects – Edward Seymour II: Karl Branting: Max MacTavish: Seth Kolbe: Opinions on People in the cities of Bullworth – (in alphabetical order) Townies Clint(aka Henry): Sage doesn’t like saying it, but they’re quite afraid of him and  Duncan: Edgar Munsen: Gurney: Jerry: Leon: Omar Romero: Otto Tyler: Residents in the city of Bullworth – Bethany Jones: Denny: Dr. Bambillo: Krakauer: Mihailovich: Miss Abby: Mr. Brekindale: Mr. Buckingham: Mr. Castillo: Mr. Doolin: Mr. Huntingdon: Mr. Johnson: Mr. Martin: Mr. Ramirez: Mr. Salvatore: Mr. Smith: Mr. Sullivan: Ms. Rushinski Mrs. Lisburn: Osborne: