#soooo many interesting convos to be had and yet very little actual conversing happening.

[patheticrafeenjoyer]

ward and rafe both throwing money at barry (or at the ground in front of him) is something very casually sinister imo.

firstly it's important to establish the class disparity between them. we know the camerons are wealthy (big home on obx, another in the bahamas, several cars, dressings of wealth and luxury). conversely, we know barry is not (he lives in a trailer, wears clothes that are worn/older-looking, has money from dealing but obviously owes someone else for the supply). even when we look at the obx map, tannyhill is at the furthest point away from the Cut as possible could be (as deep into Figure 8 as you can get), and barry's trailer is about as far away from Figure 8 as possible (its even right on the furthest border of "livable" land in the Cut before it turns to marshes).

from the literal opposite poles that these two reside on, it draws the implication of it being The Richest Of The Rich (camerons) and The Poorest Of The Poor (barry). i do think there are certainly people poorer than barry, but that's not really the point i'm trying to make here. all i mean is that we are explicitly told/shown the class differences between barry vs. the camerons.

so, to the money throwing. in another post, i talked abt how throwing money the way the camerons do is indicative of the value they have for individual bills being significantly less than the value they have for their whole accumulated wealth. it's less than pennies to them. but before ward and rafe throw money at barry, they both have a moment where they kind of hold the money up and wave it at barry, almost tauntingly, the way you'd tease a dog with a treat.

and then, instead of handing him the money, they toss it onto the ground in front of him. again, this shows how little that money means to them. also, in throwing it on the ground, they just expect barry to bend over backwards to pick it up.

it's incredibly cruel and dehumanizing to taunt someone who can't afford to just literally toss money around with it and then make them get on their hands and knees to pick money up off the ground. there's an obvious hierarchy and power imbalance here.

when ward throws the money at barry, barry gives him shit and says "pick up my money", which ward obviously doesn't. this then creates a moment of tension and chicken between them. who will cow first? who will be the one to get the money?

in the end, it's barry. ward could've thrown that money (and more) on the ground and just walked away, and it wouldn't've made a dent in his bank account. the same cannot be said for barry. so barry gets on his hands and knees and starts picking up the money while ward stands over him, literally looking down at the humiliating scenario he's forced barry into. (and then he kicks the shit out of him but that's another post)

when rafe throws the money at barry, barry's obviously not interested in whatever rafe is trying to rope him into. and then rafe tells him "you know why [you'll do this]? because you'll do anything for money." tossing in barry's face that he will ultimately do what rafe wants so long as he pays because barry needs the money enough that he will subject himself to rafe's whims.

the money ends up in a pile on the ground, which barry once again is forced to get down and pick up. rafe throws it and walks away, like he doesn't need or care about that money (he doesn't), and like he knows that barry is in a position where he does need that money.

and yet again, barry is subjected to this humiliating act of picking up money thrown at him by someone to whom that money means nothing. it's so fucking cruel.

the conversations about class in outer banks are soooo fascinating, and honestly i wish they'd dive into it more, with more nuance. and the potential conversation about race and class would be even more fascinating. alas, these are conversations that have to come from reading between the lines. :/ such is life

[tundrainafrica]

Hello! ^^ Have you ever read the Smartpass story that involves Levi and Moblit talking about Hanji? If so what are your thoughts on it? I've seen different interpretations on it. Most levihans (including myself 😁) take it as Levi wanting to spend more time with Hanji & bcz due to work they can't be together most of the time he's asking Moblit to take care of her. There are some others who say Levi's supporting mobuhan but I didn't get that feeling so what do you think?

I was aware of the existence of the Smartpasses for a while but I never got around to reading most of them. I did read the Hange and Levi one after I saw your ask. (Is that the one you’re talking about?). I couldn’t find the Levi and Moblit conversation though. 

I tried scouring the internet, found the Japanese website and was almost desperate enough to borrow some Japanese’s friends’ au accounts to read cause I’m a simp that way. But most of them have Docomo or Softbank so yeah it was difficult. I’m just having some trouble reading the English translations though since it doesn’t seem to flow in my brain as easily. In fact, I had to read it a few times actually to even remember what happened. I’m trying to look for a Japanese scan online now though which is a bit hard so if someone can point me in the right direction for the Moblit and Levi convo or the Japanese ones that would be great.  

...take it as Levi wanting to spend more time with Hanji & bcz due to work they can't be together most of the time he's asking Moblit to take care of her...

^^^ About this part, I’ll just drop an HC (Or a canon point, at this rate I forgot) I have about this because I think Levi and Hange surprisingly spend a lot of time together for work which is why they are so close in the first place. 

This is probably just pre-canon hc I have anyway because I don’t wanna speak for Yams but I think it has been confirmed before that Levi and Hange are stationed nearby or they work closely together. So they do spend a lot of time with each other and that is why Hange and Levi’s squads are also very familiar with one another. Like in Season 1 in the scene where Hange visited the scout headquarters where Eren was being held. Levi’s squad knew Hange was coming. And they warned Eren already about not asking too many questions about titans. That means they know her well enough which means they must have worked together enough to pick up on her idiosyncracies.

Literally all the experiments in the flashbacks, Hange was present. And remember that scene with the explosion and Hange just pops in after and says “ CAN I TOUCH YOUR HAND.” I’m guessing the context behind that scene is Hange’s quarters or where she stays is near enough at least that she heard the explosion which made her run there in the first place. 

Also, about the capturing titans part, it was Levi’s special ops squad.that helped with the ‘capturing titans alive’ part which they had to experiment on. I’m guessing whenever an idea, an invention or a new way of going about something comes up, it’s Levi who helps Hange’s squad test it because he and his squad are the least likely to die. And who wants casualties during experiments when the survey corps is so understaffed already. I’m guessing their working together on these developments has happened so many times already which actually contributed to the significant improvement over that five year period between the fall of Shiganshina and the Battle of Trost

If you consider Levi and Hange’s positions in the military, you can speculate that this arrangement was special. Levi is a special squad captain and Hange was a Section Leader before becoming a commander. Levi’s position in the military was special and if you consider how leadership meetings and how interactions between department and team heads work, they tend to work closer with those groups which they have similar projects with. 

Levi’s special squad being the strongest one was what made them so fit for experiments. But Levi wasn’t a conventional leader among the survey corps heads. The Special Ops Squad was specifically made for Levi. He probably never did paperwork or worked on the logistics of things compared to let’s say… Mike, Hange or Erwin. 

Hange worked closely with Mike and Erwin when it came to paperwork, pleasing higher ups, funds and logistics of keeping their squad alive. Hange only had those experiments to interact with Levi yet for some reason they seemed soooo familiar with one another that aside from the experiments there must be some other reason why they were so close which brings us back to the fact that they’re stationed nearby and they were given so many special projects to work together on.

And Hange and Levi saw each other as more of equals given that they were heading two different squads and they had to organize a lot of their experiments and projects together as both leaders. This dynamic is what made Hange and Levi’s special in my opinion? Because Hange and Moblit had a superior and subordinate relationship and there are things which will never be discussed among them regardless of how close they can be. I mean we all know the way an unequal power dynamic can make it difficult to navigate more intimate social interactions. Like there is a reason why teacher student relationships, boss employee relationships and coach athlete relationships are a little difficult to navigate, especially in a military setting.

Yet, Hange and Levi’s relationship was more free given Levi’s unconventional position which was not an official position in their military at that time. Their general personalities also helped make something more easily bloom between them. This is not obvious in English but in Japanese, Levi never used keigo (polite Japanese). Actually he used it in two seasons but never among the military. Here’s an interesting video about Levi’s speech patterns in Japanese. As someone who speaks Japanese, I can say keigo is incredibly stiff and I tend to feel some sort of distance between whoever I use it with, It’s like corporate talk. 

Moblit respects the hierarchy a lot more than Levi and Moblit always uses keigo when he talks to Hange which creates some sort of distance between them. All though they care and respect each other, we can assume just by how they talk to each other that there is not much exploration done in the relationship pre-canon. 

This makes something between Hange and Levi more likely to spark anyway. 

(I ship Mobuhan to a degree though and this is also a very plausible pairing that could happen just not in the pre-canon setting? Like maybe if Moblit got to be promoted or they worked together for longer?)  

Anyway I’m rambling at this point but for TLDR peeps

Levi and Hange had surprisingly a lot of interactions precanon due to being stationed nearby and due to the projects where they constantly worked together. Levi’s speech patterns and their personality and his unconventional role in the military also makes development more plausible between them. 

I have an unfinished precanon fic about it (which I plan on finishing after ATOT). The fic is actually sitting on my laptop but I’d rather get it written out all the way until the end before I post hahah. If anyone is interested, here’s the link.

[saintkimora]

well i finally found time to type this all up so! here is the story of how last last friday and saturday night went (not the ones from this weekend but the weekend before so like a week and a half ago). it isnt really a nice story but it is significant. first part is tristan then joel then tristan again, the tristan parts are good but the joel part is pretty bad. this is only part 1 btw! sorry @ that one anon a few days ago bc this might make you even more mad lmao

first part: tristan! so on friday i was in the library holding an online eboard meeting for gsa and tristan (the first guy i talked to for a while then hooked up with like 2 years ago and last christmas eve) was apparently studying in nexus which is the building next door to the library. and he sent me a snap (it was clearly the type you send to a lot of people it wasnt like an individual one) of him captioned i hate studying so i sent him one saying i hate planning events bc thats what i was doing. so we snapped back and forth for a while and then the library closed so i was leaving and he was like “come say hi to me in nexus” so i was like ok! 

so i went and sat across the table from him and we talked for like an hour and a half and it was so nice! hes v good to talk to but our conversation dynamic was kinda similar to me and joel’s dynamic so that was interesting. he called me my voice cute at the beginning bc i was like “sorry if i sound weird im a little congested today” and he was like “no you sound like you always do, its cute” so i was like hm so then we talked and caught up and it was very good conversation! then at one point after asking how i was in general he was like “so how are you doing....romantically” and i told him how i was with someone rn but i was kinda having some issues and he was like oh ok and i asked him and he said hes looking but its hard bc people keep ghosting him so i was like aw :/ (but on the inside i was like well thats what you get for ghosting me all those years ago lmao) 

also at one point i told him i go to the gym now so i have a little bit of muscle and he was like “yeah haha sure” and i was NOT about to take that so i was like “i can show you right now if you want” (i was wearing a tank and a zip up hoodie) so i took off one hoodie sleeve revealing my arm and i flexed and he was shook he was like “oh wow you werent kidding, thats actual progress” and i was like ha

after an hour and a half he had to go meet his friends or something so i went home. overall it was super nice! i loved talking to him so later that night i just sent him a nice text thanking him for spending time w me and saying how much i enjoyed it and then he thanked me for keeping him company and said he really enjoyed catching up so that was nice! then later that night things took a turn for the worst.....

so at this point it was friday night and joel and i were texting as usual, we were having a nice convo and were making jokes and what not. then after i asked about his day he texted me this “its fine but i just got another fucking email from slut A and im over it” and i was like “slut A......” and he was like “fucking tinamarie” (the girl who always causes trouble for his theatre club that gets him really pissed off even though it really isnt that serious) and i was like “yeah i figured but did you really need to call her that” and he was like “if youre literally gonna criticize every single word i say then im just gonna stop talking” so then i apologized like 3 times but he left me on read and didnt talk to me for the rest of the night

so! the second i read that final text i had like......a panic attack? or something? idk but it was a mess i got soooooooo cold instantly like i put on sweats socks a hoodie and 2 blankets and i was still trembling and my teeth were chattering so hard i couldnt even talk bc it just came out as gibberish and my toes were numb and my heart was beating fast and you know all that good stuff. i texted several hunties but none of them answered so i decided to text tristan! he was v nice and he comforted me and talked me through it which i appreciated. but like getting that text reminded me so much of the texts i would get from caleb so it just made all those feelings come rushing back and it was v overwhelming but i wasnt about to call joel about it bc he was already mad at me and i was scared i was gonna make it worse

about an hour later i sent him a long text saying how sorry i was bc he wanted to vent to me and i shut him down when i shouldve just taken his side and stuff bc i wanted to try to fix the situation. half of it was lies though like i was not sorry for what i did at all bc he should not be calling this tinamarie girl that! he didnt read that text until the next morning but even after he didnt respond. he was def still awake when i sent it though bc i saw him active on fb messenger slightly afterwards. anyways the next day tristan texted me again to check on me and see if i heard from joel which i hadnt by that point but i really appreciated that he went through the effort of doing that! joel and i had plans to go to the mall that day so i texted him around 4pm (this is saturday now) saying i hope his auditions went well and asking if he wouldve still liked to go to the mall w me. he said he wasnt feeling up for it bc hes tired and i was like not up for the mall or not up for me and he was like just the mall, you can come over instead. so i went over and brought him popeyes bc he was hungry and we hung out and watched dragula and talked and it was like a completely normal day so i was a little surprised he didnt bring up the events of last night. so like 3 eps into dragula s1 i asked him if he could pause it so we could talk so he did and this is where things got worse

so i was like “so....how are you feeling about what happened last night?” and he was like “well it was fucking annoying because i wanted to vent to you and you tried to school me, im already socially conscious, i know its wrong but it was the first thing that came to mind at the time” and i was like “well if you are mad at a woman and your first instinct is to call her that then that might be a problem” and he was like “can i be a fucking human?” like ???????????????? the STUPIDEST excuse like that makes no sense! you can be human without saying misogynistic things like.....annoying. he just had soooo many excuses he was like “oh its ok bc i would never actually say that to her face” like...ok great to know that being socially conscious is just a performative thing for you! if you only do it in public but are still problematic in private then like...whats the point

he was also like “it may seem like a small issue that isnt important to you but her emails are actually a huge problem. YOU wouldnt know since your organization isnt as involved, but her actions affect every area of the organization so its stressful to deal with her” like heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeereeeee we go again idk why he always tries to drag my gsa for no reason. i didnt even say he couldnt be stressed or angry with her i just said he shouldnt call her what he did! 

so now for when it got personal. so i told him i was like “i know you were mad and wanted to cool off so i wasnt gonna force you to talk to me, but it wouldve been nice if you just sent me a text like ‘oh perry im mad and dont wanna talk rn, i need some space ill talk to you later’ instead of just ignoring me for the rest of the night” and he was like “well i didnt have time i had too much going on with the organization” and i was like “i mean it takes 10 seconds to send a text” and he was like “well i didnt want to” OH so now the truth comes out! and then he was like “i was already stressed out with the email so then its like ‘oh now i have to deal with perry too’” and like..............that was really hurtful bc literally the main reason i rarely ever bring up any issues i have to him is bc hes already so stressed with everything else and i want to be a source of happiness in his life not another source of stress so im afraid to bring things up bc i dont want to add to his stress and be another thing that he has to “deal with” so like, he literally vocalized the exact reason im afraid to talk to him about these things so its just confirmed my suspicions and now i feel even worse about bringing up any issues i have with him 

i didnt tell him about the panic attack yet but i did say “well i mean im sure you can tell i was upset, since i sent you a long ass apology text an hour after the convo ended. and if it was the other way around and i knew you were upset about something i said i wouldve dropped everything and called you right away to fix the issue” and he said.............. “well im not gonna prioritize you” like.... !!!!!!!!!!!!! ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! great! we already knew i was at the bottom of his priority list but at least now he basically admitted it :/ i was just like well ok

that is the end of part 1 bc im splitting up this post lol