#sooo sad for him like he must be proper gutted

[msnmnt]

10 weeks then :(

[kikuism]

just finished jade war. Um ‼️

[kfawkes]

#52 or #54 for shakarian pls? ❤💙

52.  “Don’t cover your face. I want to see you.”

This is a lot different than I expected but I hope you like it!! Kinda sad like all my shit lmao. BUUUUT you know I’m a sucker for happy endings sooo hope you enjoy!

*Takes place AFTER Destroy Ending!*

———————————————————-

Garrus sat quietly in the corner of a bar called Lions Head. Slowly blinking as he swirl his turian brandy in a long taloned hand. Weakly grasping the glass as he stare into the whirlwind of his motion. Lifting the nearly empty glass to his mouth he downed the remainder in one swig. After a sigh he leaned back into his chair lazily eying the room. He was one of maybe four other aliens in the bar, which wasn’t all that surprising considering most everyone had gone home already. Well, that was if they had a home to go back to still. Garrus didn’t. He had lost his home three years ago during that final push to stop the Reapers…

It had been just over three years since Shepard had destroyed them… Three whole years free of their impending doom and promises of extinction. And in those three years the galaxy wasted no time recovering. The top scientists from the Crucible worked tirelessly on the relays until they were up and running within five months of their destruction. Comms were up to full functionality within two. 

Directly after the attack the Normandy crew agreed to return to London. They owed it to Shepard to find her… Or to at least find her body as terrible as it sounds. A woman like Shepard deserved a proper burial, and until Garrus had a body to bury, he wouldn’t give up the chance that he’d find his home again. Call it denial if you want, but it’s what got him through those lonely sleepless nights.

During the first year he took responsibilities on Earth for the turian military. Organizing food disbursement, shuttles to their new home… And after the relays had been restored the new Primarch requested he return to assist rebuilding; but Garrus outright refused. He wouldn’t leave Earth. Not yet… Not until…

Each day that pass where they didn’t find Jane weighed heavier than the last. By the time the two year mark hit, most of the crew had no choice but to move on and leave Earth for good. All of the Normandy crew besides Miranda and Garrus had obligations to tend to elsewhere. Ships to rebuild, people that still needed saving… And as much as they didn’t want to admit it, they all knew she had probably been reduced to ashes. No one said it, but they knew the chances of even finding a body were slim to none.

Garrus may have decided not to give up hope, but not giving up and not being depressed were very different. He quickly learned the perks of compartmentalizing and going through the motions as he scream silently inside his carapace. He spent most days blocking out the possibility of her death in its entirety and clinging to the notion that she was alive and well somewhere. But the only thing truly keeping him sane was that feeling low in his gut telling him she was alive. He knew that he’d feel it if something happened. He felt it before after the SR1, and he’d feel it now. 

There were nights like tonight though when he’d let himself remember. When he’d really let himself feel the void her absence brought. In the moments of haze his brandy brought, he let himself feel as all sounds disappeared around him. In a flash he was with her running towards that damn beam again… He was saying goodbye to her all over again as she slipped from his fingertips and run into hell without him. 

Watching as she disappear into that bright light tore him apart from the inside out. In the loud silence of his alcohol, he remembered that feeling of regret and guilt spreading through his aching limbs as the hangar door closed. 

Remembering the way Joker muttered painfully under his breath as he try to escape the range of the Crucible’s red ominous pulse. How desperately he tried to jump ahead of its grasp… The desperate pleading look he sent EDI and the one she returned before it engulfed the ship, sending bright sparks of red through her mechanical body. Garrus could still hear the yell of agony that escaped Jokers lips like it was yesterday. He could still see the way he pounded his fists into the ship’s controls, mentally crumbling to pieces. He remembered the smell of their tears mixing and the sensation of his own heart bursting as the world spun into a dark nothingness.  

A muffled voice of a human pulled him from his thoughts abruptly. He was no longer on the Normandy in those final moments; But in London drinking in a rundown bar with other broken hearts dealing with the pieces. The human stare down at him over her glasses with a blank expression across her face.

“Hm?” Garrus let the sound escape his subvocal’s as he shake his head to the sounds of the room returning in a avalanche of clutter. 

“Can I get you another one of those…” The human asked again as she began clicking her toe pointedly as she clutch a data pad in her hands.

After a swallow he shook his head side to side declining her offer. But as he moved his eyes back to her in attempts change his mind he noticed something…

Lavender. 

Garrus moved to his feet quickly noticing the smallest glint of red and a small shine of green… Pushing past the server as gently as possible, he was sure it was… that it had to be…

“Shepard!” Garrus yelled after a hooded figure that ran into the late night streets of London. 

The ghostly scene had mostly been repaired but there were clear signs of neglect and deterioration. The figure stopped suddenly, but didn’t turn around. Feeling his heart racing faster than he had felt before, he slowly strode towards the figure with a hand outstretched cautiously.

His mouth suddenly grew dry as words began losing their meaning.  “Jane… I-is that you?”

The figure was only a few feet away now… Slowly he slid his trembling hand towards the stiff arm, lightly nudging it in his direction. The hooded figure turned into his gesture revealing her face finally.

“Gar… What…” Her eyes were full of confusion and disorientation… In a flash she buried her face behind her hands as she began profusely shaking her head.

“What’s- Shepard. Don’t… Don’t cover your face, I want to see you. Please let me see you…” He slid his hands to her cheeks feeling the soft scars below them, as she lightly pull her face away in attempts to hide again. “What’s going on? Where have you been? Are you okay?”

“I… I can’t remember-” She shook her head harder as tears filled her eyes, releasing his soft embrace. “I just… I don’t know who you…” Her voice trailed off as she squint her eyes to the side, bringing a hand to her forehead quickly.

“You… Can’t rem-” Clearing the breaking of his voice he swallowed and continued trying to remain calm and in control of his emotions. “You can’t remember… me?” His purr was soft and understanding but his undertones were lined with a sharp pain. 

“G-Garrus?” She stepped back rubbing a temple hurriedly. “I- I can barely remember anything… I’ve- I don’t know who I am anymore…” Jane closed her eyes, squeezing them tightly in thought trying to remember something, anything. “I had these… No- I’m having these… flashes. Of you… Of-” 

After a moment she slid her eyes to his with a brow furrowed as if in pain. “And I can’t remember why I know you…” Sliding her large emerald eyes open wide as they began filling with tears. “And back there you just looked at me… Like you… Like you knew me and you- I-I just- I didn’t…”

Pushing her face into his arms she squeezed him tight. After a second of apprehension he moved a long taloned hand to the back of her neck, stroking her long crimson hair. “You’ve just been… When did you-” This time when he spoke his pain was for her. Thinking about how it must feel to wake up one day with no memory of who you are, of what you’ve done… “I’m here now, Jane. We’ll find you again.”

“Ohmygod, Garrus.” Her words were heavy and held together with tears as she sob into his arms remembering bits and pieces. “I’m so sorry, I just… I couldn’t…-” Pulling her face back she moved her hands to either side of his mandibles, looking deeply into his eyes. “but I felt something. I feel it. I just knew… That you- that we… And when you called me Shepard. I don’t know. Some of it just… it wasn’t so foggy anymore…” 

Garrus mirrored her action placing his head low to her forehead. “Don’t worry about any of that, Shepard. It’s all going to be okay, I promise you.” He held her close to his face with eyes closed holding her quietly for a few minutes. “Jane, you have no idea how long I’ve been looking for you.”

“I feel like- even though I couldn’t remember… I’ve always been looking for you. Like I knew in the back of my mind that you were waiting for me… Like I was supposed to meet you there.” Her eyes opened slowly, and with a smile she slid them to the bar they had just exited. 

After a soft chuckle, he kissed her forehead realizing where he’d found her. They had kept their promise. “I should have known I’d find you at the bar.”