#songs that are rotating in ari's brain

[ary11y]

Hello

Welcome to the blog I made without thinking for reblogging cool stuff

Call me either Blu or Ari

She/her

I have a very (un)healthy obsession with chonny jash's music (/j)

I'm a minor so don't be a creep

I speak both English y español (viva México 👍)

I am a very confused person so I might not understand stuff right

Asks are fine :]

I'm a huge fan of ducks

Btw if you have a My Singing Monsters account add me mayhaps /nf (98554729KH)

Accounts:

@blu00u

@allgoodthingscomeinthrees

DNI list:

-NSFW accounts

-usual DNI stuff (homophobic, terfs, pedophiles, that stuff)

You're on VERY thin ice if...

-you support controversial people (joe Hawley, Juno, tap, Wilbur Soot, those people) (I do not want to be a part of anything controversial, you're not on the DNI list because I can't blame you for having a point of view, however, that doesn't mean I'm on your side or that I support you)

Tags I use often:

#woahh Ari's not reblogging for once - posts where I...don't reblog, it's probably going to be me talking about something a lot, probably in a single post

#*epically stores this* - posts that I don't want to lose in my 2763+ posts

#someone actually asked a fool something - asks

#art that makes me go skdndjsksnzjl - art I liked so much that I decided to store it

#in which a fool joins a picrew chain - picrew thingies I made because of a chain I was (probably) tagged in

#songs that rotating in Ari's brain - a song I can't get off my mind (LEAVE ME ALONE! GAH! /ref) or songs that I'm listening to and that I like the lyrics of

#you used to call me on my cellphone - oc lore (please make me use this tag please make me use this tag ple-) (tag shared with the blu00u account)

#wth Ari habla español? - posts in Spanish

#loki being a silly guy who's lokito - you should look at my dog Loki... NOW! (Aka photos/videos of my dog) (actually I think it's gonna be my dog in general)

#Artemisa being the chillest cat in the world - posts related to Artemisa :D

#the legend of Satoru and Warrior - Artemisa's kittens!!!!!!!!

#i LOVE aart - art tips!!!

#draw your ocs like this you fool (tag to draw my ocs) - images I found funny or epic and I want to draw my ocs like this (added the (tag to draw my ocs) because I realized it's not the best idea to have a tag named like this)

#collecting tee fanarts - ........HE'S VERY SILLY OK

#fun Ari facts: fun facts about me because I'm full of myself like that 🕶️ /j

#Blu's OC facts - fun facts about the sad lives of my OCs!!!! /Silly (I add trigger warnings on the tags btw

#Artemisa being the chillest cat in the world - stuff about my cat Artemisa B]

#the legend of Satoru and Warrior - rata 1 y rata 2 /aff (Artemisa's children)

Silly stuff I've done:

Built a robot (#in which a fool that knows nothing about building a robot tries to build one)

Vibe checked people (#blu vibe checks people)

Created a writing blog (#ari writer arc)

Tried to music (#who the hell made blu think she can make music)

K I think that's all, bye -runs away-

[stellarwaffles]

Ooooo you wanna talk about your ocs you wanna talk about them so bad ooooooo

Sorry for taking 381 days to answer ummmmm hi I want to talk about Ari

I don't think I've really posted about Ari on tumblr so I'll include basic info

Ari uses she/it/him pronoun and is a lesbian. She is a lion lava monster + is 6ft tall

Ari Sunfall is the oldest of the Sunfall siblings (Ari, Ziva, Leo, Daniel, Cherry*, Talya, Dasi)

When Ari was 13 her parents had to go be at war they weren't allowed to stay at home + raise their kids anymore so as the oldest Ari had to take care of her siblings

If you've ever heard Surface Pressure from Encanto that's the only song on my Ari playlist

Anyway um when Ari was 16 she got a girlfriend yaaaaaaay they were t4t :3

they dated for an amount of months before Ari's gf broke up w her bc taking care of 5 siblings was clearly stressful for Ari + gf was worried dealing w that and also a relationship was too much for Ari. Ummm she had good intentions but this made Ari put more effort into hiding when she's stressed

When Ari was 18 she had to be in the army </3 fuck Monstrox we all hate that guy

Ari got to see his parents for the first time in 5 years so that was nice

Ari also got a girlfriend while in the army! When Ari was 20 she dated Kirsten. They dated for an amount of months

:3

Kirsten broke up w Ari </3

:3

so um ye when the lava monsters got trapped in the Book of Monsters Ari was also trapped. Bc she's a lava monster

S1 nexo knight Ari is one of the background lava monsters

At some point in s1 the lava monsters attack a town called Kneadton + during the attack Ari gets distracted by the smell of freshly baked bread and goes into the bakery where Feather works

Feather is Rather Frightened and as a panic response. Acts friendly + normal as if Ari was a regular customer instead of part of the army attacking the town

Ari is thown off by Feather acting friendly + instead of stealing or destroying anything like she's supposed to he politely pays for a box of cookies

Feather + Ari are friends now. You can't escape being friends with Feather

At the end of s2! When Monstrox is trying to possess Clay or whatever + the knights save him + there's like an explosion or smth + they think Monstrox is dead fr fr. The explosion throws Ari into the rocky wall + she gets a bad injury

But um hey good news the lava monsters all want nothing to do with Monstrox + go build a town so they can chill + just live their lives

Ari takes a while to recover from his injury + has to get used to sometimes relying on others instead of always being the one people can rely on

Ari also has a back brace now. I haven't done enough research to say much about this

Once Ari is doing well enough to get a job she starts working at a bar in Burningham. He works a late shift + so she sleeps in late in the morning

This is around s3 btw + also Ari is 23

At some point Eva is adventuring around, as one does, and accidentally finds Burningham. She wanders around town perceiving + goes into the bar + this is how she meets Ari!! Yay!!

Eva is big gay for Ari. Eva + Ari become friends yay yay friendship

Ari starts getting feelings for Eva but she's in denial about it. They're just friends! Ari totally doesn't wanna kiss Eva or anything!

Teehee time for s5 (Ari is 24/25 now. I'm less sure on the ages here bc s5 + s6 were never made)

So um there's the apocalypse going on. Fun! (It's not fun)

I haven't brained much abt what exactly happens around Burningham during the apocalypse I'll be honest so some of this might change idk. I've mostly just rotated the angst in my mind

Burningham got swarmed by cyberbugs + people had to either try and fight them off or run away

The Sunfalls have safely escaped a bunch of cyberbugs + are in the woods. They're worried about Talya bc none of them have been able to contact it at all, but the rest of them are all safe and accounted for at least

Ari faintly hears something deeper in the woods + goes to investigate. A smart decision, surely. You should always go alone to investigate voices you hear in the woods

Ari finds Eva sitting by a tree calling for help. Eva says she was injured while running from cyberbugs + she needs help just come closer walk forward come just a bit closer please

Something seems off to Ari, and rightfully so bc this is a trap. Eva is infected

A bunch of cyberbugs were hiding around the nearby trees. Eva + the cyberbugs attack Ari and Eva tries to convince Ari to be evil being infected is great actually she's totally not being forced to say this

Ari doesn't want to fight Eva so she's trying to fight defensively. At one point in the fight Ari takes Eva's scythe from her hands and without thinking impales Eva, killing her

Ari stares at Eva's body for a moment, realizing what she just did, before running away (the cyberbugs are still there. They chase after her)

So you know how I mentioned Ari likes Eva but is in denial. Yeah so sometimes you realize things at very inconvenient times. Sometimes you're processing that you just killed the person you're in love with and wait a minute in love? Oh fuck

Ari doesn't really have time to focus on that or on grief bc she's gotta focus on making sure him + its family survive the apocalypse

Daniel gets separated from the rest of the family for a bit which has all of them worried but this isn't about him so don't worry about it

After the apocalypse ends the Sunfalls go back to Burningham + Ziva is sent to pick up Talya from school. Ari finally has time to process the everything + breaks down crying

*shoutout to anyone that remembered I put an asterisk next to Cherry's name! She was not part of the family before this point

Ziva returns w Talya + Cherry, Talya says Cherry is part of their family now. Everyone immediately assumes that means Cherry's parents are dead. Everyone also immediately accepts Cherry into the family. New sibling!

After idk a few days Ari goes back into the woods to get Eva + take her to a mechanic. Ari is worried sick that she did irreparable damage, but is hoping Eva will be fine

Ari is not very good w tech + things of the sort, she doesn't understand all this new tech that's been invented in the past 100 years. Squirebots weren't a thing back when he was growing up, so she doesn't know anything about squirebot anatomy. Ari has no clue if she killed Eva permanently or if Eva can be repaired

Eva is repaired yay yippee yay she doesn't have any permanent damage, her brain's all fine, etc etc

After checking approximately 1 million times that Eva is in fact alright + no longer injured, Ari apologies for killing her + Eva assures Ari it's ok she doesn't even remember it honestly so truely it's chill dw. Everything from when she was infected is kinda foggy, actually. She doesn't remember much of being infected

Anyway moving on Ari also confesses to being in love w Eva yay yippee yay they can kiss now I love when girlfriends

A few weeks after the apocalypse has ended!! Ok so remember Kirsten? There's something I didn't mention. Before she broke up w Ari she got pregnant, but neither of them knew

So as I said a few weeks after the apocalypse ended- Kirsten + her girlfriend (she has a girlfriend btw) go on a date at a bar. Which just so happens to be where Ari works. Wait I forgot to say Kirsten's girlfriend is Ari's first ex

Ye so Kirsten tells Ari she's got something important to tell her but like if it can wait til later that'd be nice bc she's on a date rn. So she gets Ari's phone number + address

Kirsten shows up to the Sunfall house the next day w her + Ari's daughter, Sunny

Ari didn't know what to expect when Kirsten said she had something important to tell her, but she certainly had not been expecting a kid

Sunny is 4 btw Ari was 21 when Sunny was born

Kirsten wants Ari to take full custody of Sunny she didn't want to be a mom she wanted Ari to take care of Sunny from the start, she just didn't know how to contact Ari. Phones were invented after they broke up

Umm I made up Sunny recently so I'm still working on this lore but at some point Eva calls Ari a milf

Misc info!! Yay!!

Ari is a nickname for Arson, the name Arson has been passed down in the family for generations Ari is Arson V (Arson the fifth) (Sunny is also a nickname for Arson, Sunny is Arson VI)

I mentioned this when Eva died but Ari isn't good w phones or tech or anything like that she's kinda a boomer L L L skill issue

Ari spent so much of his life focusing on taking care of her family and being personally responsible for everyone's safety that she never. Got any hobbies (on this topic Ari + Talya have parallels. Talya stole the bad mentality and the lack of hobbies + some other stuff)

At some point Eva gets Ari into hiking! This idea brought to you by the bestie Milkisvibin803

At some point when they're dating, Eva finds out Ari wants to be more feminine but doesn't know what exactly to do about that. So Eva takes her dress shopping to see if maybe that'll help (it does) :)

[stuckinapril]

top 3 ari songs

anon I’m not even joking but right as you sent me this a friend texted me “i see you listening to a lot of ariana grande that album's gonna rot your brain be careful…” verbatim what he said 💀💀. I will admit that I have been in my ariana bag since she released eternal sunshine. she’s not in my usual rotation, but that album has me in a chokehold (to my surprise, bc I rly did think it would be mid). anyway this question is rly fuckin hard bc I like a lot of songs off her discography, but my current top three would be:

break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored but very specifically this version of it. the instrumental. her harmonies at the end. the studio version does not even come close to me. i have bumped this so many times i lost count.

FANTASIZE. it’s tied for my number one tbh, i genuinely think this is one of the best songs and that she should fuckin release it already. anyone who has not listened to this is missing something in their life. it’s so good.

THE BOY IS MINE it’s so good. the way it slows down before the beat drops. her voice. the harmonies. how she STACKED her vocals ugh I love how often she does that. I know that this is the homewrecker trifecta but idc she sounds incredible on all these tracks. and max martin truly went off on this one

these 3 r quintessential ari tracks i think anyone would enjoy, but honorable mentions (bc im annoying and indecisive) would be: bloodline (whenever i want to be on my boys ain’t shit wave), supernatural (perceiving the world through the eyes of a lovesick fairy), into you ft mac miller (late night car rides), dangerous woman (skirt w corset and a statement necklace mood), true story (the harmonies at the end!!!!), i don’t care (a peaceful morning walk on a sunny winter morning), just like magic (for my 🧘‍♀️🎀💕 moods), better off (just a pretty track idk), i wish i hated you (haunting lullaby), eternal sunshine (it’s growing on me i fear), don’t wanna break up again (so relatable), needy (my theme song). ok that is all

[greatea]

first proper text post tumblr, let's see if i can get this formatting right ... thank you dear @sereshaws

nickname eli :)

sign aries (no clue what that says about me, do with that what you will)

height 1,67m or 5'5

last thing i googled how long a cardigan takes to air dry haha

song stuck in my head lost by frank ocean

number of followers 19 i'm pretty sure

amount of sleep 4 hours (definitely not enough ...)

lucky number 6 or 12

dream job some kind of marketing position in the fashion industry, or author (if i could ever write consistently)

wearing pajamas

movies/books that summarize you i'm not philosophical enough to answer that question lol (failed my mandatory philosophy course 4 times so there's that)

favorite song of all time? drops of jupiter by train or the draw by bastille. right now? my adhd brain rotates through too many songs so it's hard to pick, but probably stay awake? or distorted light beam by bastille

favorite instrument i'm pretty tone deaf so i can't play any but i would love to play the piano

aesthetic i don't follow aesthetics, i'm wildly out of touch

favorite author madeline miller

random fun fact i have an insane amount of freckles

i don't know enough people and teags kind of tagged most of the people i would have tagged already (thanks for that [affectionate] ) so i'm gonna tag ... @dancingdisasterisms and @marsupialcore :)

[femmesandhoney]

tagged by my girl @tcmie tyyyy

who was your first fav artist? probably selena gomez as a kid

who's your current fav artist? lana, marina, taylor equally i rotate thru

are you into musicals? which ones/why not? i have enjoyed a few like hamilton, putnam county spelling bee, be more chill

are there songs you consider so special you only listen to them to them rarely? good kid by former vandal

preferred way of listening to music? spotify or CDs in my car

whats the most niche music you listen to? whatever agnes obel counts as & norwegian pop

whats youre favorite music related movie/tv show thats not a musical? idk really know what this means. i like the graduate soundtrack?

albums or playlists? completely depends on the artist. if im listening to an album, its by an artist i deeply love. playlists are for individual good songs.

favorite albums? folie a deux, folklore, honeymoon, froot are some of my favs

is there an artist you're trying to get into? nathy peluso

who's music do you find overhyped? harry styles and lorde

whats an underrated song? sooo many on my playlists are underrated songs ngl, but tulsa jesus freak by lana

whats a thing a bunch of songs do that you love every time? i love stuff that sounds kinda ethereal without trying too hard to be

what song is better acoustic? You by Greta Issac! makes me go fucking insane it sounds beautiful everyone listen to it and ascend

worst song of all time? ed sheerans discography

do you put individual songs on repeat? who doesnt obsessively replay a song their brain is hooked on

if you make playlists, whats your most entertaining title? songs my aries mars vibes with

headphones or earbuds? earbuds

do you sing lead vocal or harmonize? depends on the song, but yes to both

tagging: @sapphos-witch-gf @shes-unforgettable @who-is-a-heretic-now

[rkxblue]

` * ✧ ✧ ECLIPSE OCTOBER EVALUATION      ——      SHOWCASE VIDEO RECORDING  ;

“i feel like i go through this routine -- like at first things don’t feel real? like it all feels like a dream... then it comes to acceptance, and i’m able to get things done, then we do something new. lather, rinse, repeat, y’know?”

there’s something about the main lobby being so empty that makes ahyoung feel a little bit strange, as if time doesn’t exist in the normal way that it usually does; a liminal space in which reality is a bit altered. it’s just -- weird. her gaze leave the open expanse and turns back towards the camera, eyes widening once she realizes that she hasn’t answered the question that the staff has asked her. “oh crap, right. who do i feel grateful to, huh?” dark hues wander everywhere while she mulls, almost like a cheat code to her brain -- up, down, left, right, left, up ( and a look to the center for press start ).

“uhhh ~ the obvious choice would be my family, right? my mom and my little brothers, junhwan and sangmin ... they’ve all been really supportive of me since the beginning, and even through the ups and downs of it all they didn’t tell me to hang up the towel when i felt like i should have, y’know? my dad too ... he was against it for the longest time until he saw me on the mgas, and i think i conveyed my passion for this work during that time so... i was able to get him on board too. it’s still wild to think about,” she says, plays with her hands while she nods while a smile blooms upon her face in the slightest manner. “my family has always been my rock. if you show this during our showcase -- thank you for being the best family there is! i wouldn’t be here with out you -- like literally though, like --” and hands wave around the space of her body, her face wildly to signify herself before she laughs, “so shout outs to y’all, i won’t let you down!”

“and aside from that... the next obvious person would be our ceo, our og... katie lee, yeah? like i feel like me, personally, i have to! i also would literally not be here,” and the dramatics start up again, her nodding to the camera while she points to the ground before revealing the length of her arm as she motions towards the space, the building, “here, without her. i know i messed up in the past and she had every right to not bring me back during the mgas, and she did. she also had every right to not, y’know, put me in eclipse either, but she did. and i’m so eternally grateful, because even though i’m not the best, katie lee doesn’t make mistakes, right?” a couple of nods as she turns her ear towards the camera, listening before she whispers “right!” as the answer to her own question, then faces back forward with a serious, nodding expression and claps of her hands, “right. i can’t leave her or the kt trainees out, now can i? thank you so much for believing in me, even when i didn’t believe in myself.”

“okay, i know i’m talking a lot, but this is who i am! this is who you’re getting!” a point towards the camera, “but lastly! all my friends who have supported me -- especially jinki, woohyun, and jihyun, and of course, all the girls that make up eclipse! ari -- minji, jeonghwa, jennie, haseul, and anna. i’m excited what the future holds for eclipse because -- let me be cocky for just a moment -- i feel like there isn’t a group out there with our specific color and that we’ll catch everyone by surprise with our music. just you wait, were coming for you all!” there’s a point to the camera before she turns her hand into a gun and shoots at the camera, sound effects with her mouth included. time goes by where it’s silent and ahyoung remains in that position before she ends it with a laugh.

▶ :  kiss my lips by boa  ‧ ‧ ‧                             ‧ ‧ ‧  i just wanna know, how you feel about me  ♡

it’s a little strange dancing to a song that requires back up dancers for the full effect, makes the room seem a little bit lonely although she’s using up a good use of space while the routine causes her to move from one side to the other -- but her dance moves aren’t what’s on display at the moment, isn’t the main event.

no, this entire taping is to show her growth. how the went from a breathy vocalist who had trouble keeping all that power within her voice to someone more refined, more professional. someone as cool and sophisticated as the words that drift along with the color blue. ( someone worthy of that stage name. )

what isn’t hard, however, is keeping tabs of the large camera at all times and how it coexists with her performance -- which angles would look best, when to bore holes into the camera with her stare while at other times give a wink, a smile, laughter that almost seems flirty while she croons within the practice room, “all you have to do is just look at me like you are right now, i need your attention.”

sure, her dance moves may not of been as refined as they were years ago, but ahyoung will take that in place of her voice being stable while she moves, with every click-clack of her heels and rotation of her hips. it doesn’t show how tired she’s become, fights it off with a little bit of an extra move -- how she rips off the jacket tied to her waist while before moving to the other side, holds on to everything she has within her voice until the end.

her head drops as the music clears the room, and ahyoung remains in her place, the only sounds heard is the harsh way she breathes through her mouth; and it’s almost as if she’s a different person with the way her head snaps up and she gives a dazzling smile while she asks the crew, “was that good? or another take?”

▶ :  twinkle by tts & something by girl’s day  ‧ ‧ ‧                ‧ ‧ ‧  featuring ariel ( as uji & bestie ) ♡

‘clips with friends’ would seem like an opportune time to show off the variety skills that she’s been slowly honing as a trainee, to show everyone whose face they should get used to seeing upon every screen after their debut ( or so she hopes. )

but there’s always this gnawing feeling inside of ahyoung that no matter how many times she tries to bury it, to laugh it away using humor or even drink it away, it always comes back. the feeling of not being good enough as a singer. the throw away, compared to ariel and haseul. the one that’s good, but never good enough.

and it probably seems counter productive to have ariel by her side during this cover where her ethereal voice could shine; but ahyoung couldn’t think of anyone else within kt that would be better for something like this. something more mature than eclipse’s day image, and maybe even sexier than their night image. and she was a friend after all, right? ( there wasn’t that many of those left in kt, after all. )

so ahyoung sings like she has something to prove, puts everything into her voice for those long minutes that their voices blend together during this time. because she does have something to prove -- to the future naysayers, to their fans, to the group members, but most importantly, herself.

because ahyoung is in her element. sure, it may not of been the smartest choice to give the better parts ( in her opinion ) to ariel when it was her clip, and she may even come to regret the way she shouts, “everyone, are you ready?” as they transition in to something; but at this time, it’s the farthest thing from her mind. it’s the confidence within her steps that she’s trying to show, how each expression is unique and different -- yet harmonizes with the theme of the performance.

because maybe, just maybe, during this time, while she’s showing her charms, she can believe in the words she sings: even if i’m covered with a veil, obviously, i twinkle.

[wiremagazine]

CALM DOWN, IT'S THE MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS WITH OUR FAVORITE DIVAS, DIVOS & FRESH NEW ARTISTS!

By DJ FR8-O

The world's most unpredictable awards show just threw us another curveball. Hosting this year's hottest night in music is comedian and actor Sebastian Maniscalco. Yeah, never heard of him either, but the outspoken Italian is ready to bring the laughs and the chutzpah back into the VMAs. Joining him will be all our favorite divas, divos and fresh new artists who've been dominating our playlists over the last 12 months. This year's ceremony is going to be a battle of the pop princesses with both Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift snatching 10 nominations each. Who will take home the most Moon Persons is yet to be seen, but here are my top picks.  

BEST NEW ARTIST Ava Max Billie Eilish H.E.R. Lil Nas X Rosalía

Lizzo It may seem like Lizzo just came out of nowhere and went straight to the front of the class, but she's been schooling her fans since she was 14 years old. In an industry that puts so much pressure on image and tries to hide flaws with photoshop and camera tricks, Lizzo celebrates her curves and literally puts it all out there. Her confidence is only overshadowed by her talent, with a stream of hits and sold-out shows over the past year.  

BEST COLLABORATION BTS (featuring Halsey): "Boy with Luv" Lil Nas X (featuring Billy Ray Cyrus): "Old Town Road (Remix)" Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello: "Señorita" Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber: "I Don't Care" Taylor Swift (featuring Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco): "Me!"

Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper: "Shallow" As if she wasn't jaw-droppingly gifted all on her own, no one has ever brought the on-screen chemistry as Gaga and Cooper did in the big-screen blockbuster A Star is Born. The heat was so intense that it raised suspicions of the two being more than just co-stars. While those rumors have since been squashed, I still get a few raised hairs every time I hear their duet from the diva's Oscar-winning film.

BEST POP 5 Seconds of Summer: "Easier" Cardi B and Bruno Mars: "Please Me" Billie Eilish: "Bad Guy" Ariana Grande: "Thank U, Next" Khalid: "Talk" Taylor Swift: "You Need to Calm Down"

Jonas Brothers: "Sucker" Everyone has their opinion of what makes a great pop song, or in this case a great pop video, but I'm sure you would agree that Nick soaking in a claw foot tub and Joe tied up in his underwear would be somewhere at the top of the list. Not only does this earworm bury deep into your brain with its throwback vibe and razor-sharp hook, but watching these guys all grown up and having more fun than ever makes this clip as timeless as the track. Did I mention the bathtub?

BEST HIP HOP 21 Savage (featuring J. Cole): "A Lot" Cardi B: "Money" DJ Khaled (featuring Nipsey Hussle and John Legend): "Higher" Lil Nas X (featuring Billy Ray Cyrus): "Old Town Road (Remix)" Travis Scott (featuring Drake): "Sicko Mode"

2 Chainz (featuring Ariana Grande): "Rule the World" Is there nothing that Ari can't do? It's hard to tell who the actual guest artist is on this track, but are we really surprised? Even during her early days on "Bang Bang," she managed to hold her own with two powerhouse divas. Now it looks like she's the one bringing the noise.

BEST R&B Childish Gambino: "Feels Like Summer" H.E.R. (featuring Bryson Tiller): "Could've Been" Alicia Keys: "Raise a Man" Normani (featuring 6lack): "Waves" Anderson .Paak (featuring Smokey Robinson): "Make It Better"

Ella Mai: "Trip" After a 13 year absence from the show, the R&B category is back! Maybe it's because of the genre's resurgence into mainstream music; but whatever the reason, it's opening doors to a whole new pool of talent that may otherwise be overlooked, like this incredibly gifted and well-deserved artist.

BEST LATIN Anuel AA and Karol G: "Secreto" Benny Blanco, Tainy, Selena Gomez and J Balvin: "I Can't Get Enough" Daddy Yankee (featuring Snow): "Con Calma" Maluma: "Mala Mía" Rosalía and J Balvin (featuring El Guincho): "Con Altura"

Bad Bunny (featuring Drake): "Mia" Watching this video reminded me of growing up in Miami, and showing up at the impromptu house party that someone hosted while their parents were away. Of course, Drake never showed up to any of them, but of all the nominees, this one captures what everyday Latin life is really about, minus all the half-naked women.

BEST DANCE The Chainsmokers (featuring Bebe Rexha): "Call You Mine" Clean Bandit (featuring Demi Lovato): "Solo" DJ Snake (featuring Selena Gomez, Ozuna and Cardi B): "Taki Taki" David Guetta, Bebe Rexha and J Balvin: "Say My Name" Marshmello and Bastille: "Happier"

Silk City and Dua Lipa: "Electricity" Music trends will come and go, but classic house will never go out of style. These guys took the essence of "Show Me Love" and "Finally" and weaved it into a track that's as fresh as it is nostalgic. Throw in Lipa's sultry vocals weaving a hypnotic melody and you've got yourself a dance anthem that no one can resist.

VIDEO FOR GOOD Jamie N Commons and Skylar Grey (featuring Gallant): "Runaway Train" Halsey: "Nightmare" The Killers: "Land of the Free" John Legend: "Preach" Lil Dicky: "Earth"

Taylor Swift: "You Need to Calm Down" It can't be a coincidence that this category debuted the same year as this track. In a time when LGBTQ lives are being attacked – physically and politically – on the daily, it's refreshing and inspiring to see an artist take a stand and put her influence where her mouth is. Not only is the track brilliantly written, but I haven't seen that many LGBTQ icons together since the Tony Awards.

BEST DIRECTION Billie Eilish: "Bad Guy" (Director: Dave Meyers) FKA Twigs: "Cellophane" (Director: Andrew Thomas Huang) Ariana Grande: "Thank U, Next" (Director: Hannah Lux Davis) Lil Nas X (featuring Billy Ray Cyrus): "Old Town Road (Remix)" (Director: Calmatic) LSD: "No New Friends" (Director: Dano Cerny)

Taylor Swift: "You Need to Calm Down" (Director: Taylor Swift and Drew Kirsch) Okay, I know what you're thinking, "this queen must be a huge T-Swift fan, so he's voting for her in every category." Quite the contrary, actually. I've always been pretty lukewarm when it comes to the country-turned-pop singer, but any director that could wrangle that many divas in one video shoot and not end up on the nightly news deserves a trophy.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS DJ Khaled (featuring SZA): "Just Us" (Visual Effects: GloriaFX, Sergii Mashevskyi and Anatolli Kuzmytskyi) Billie Eilish: "When the Party's Over" (Visual Effects: Ryan Ross and Andres Jaramillo) FKA Twigs: "Cellophane" (Visual Effects: Analog) Ariana Grande: "God Is a Woman" (Visual Effects: Fabrice Lagayette at Mathematic) LSD: "No New Friends" (Visual Effects: Ethan Chancer)

Taylor Swift (featuring Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco): "Me!" (Visual Effects: Loris Paillier and Lucas Salton for BUF VFX) I'd hand over the award for this vid just for the visual of a smoldering Brendon Urie alone, but if you've seen the clip you know the allure is more than just his pretty face. Reminiscent of a modern Moulin Rouge, the screen oozes with splashes of color, action and special effects galore, from start to finish.  

BEST ART DIRECTION BTS (featuring Halsey): "Boy with Luv" (Art Directors: JinSil Park and BoNa Kim (MU:E) Ariana Grande: "7 Rings" (Art Director: John Richoux) Lil Nas X (featuring Billy Ray Cyrus): "Old Town Road (Remix)" (Art Director: Christian Zollenkopf for Prettybird) Taylor Swift: "You Need to Calm Down" (Art Director: Brittany Porter) Kanye West and Lil Pump (featuring Adele Givens): "I Love It" (Art Director: Tino Schaedler)

Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello: "Señorita" (Art Director: Tatiana Van Sauter) In a world where videos are trying to be bigger, brighter and bolder than the last, it takes a good eye to keep things in the background simple and let the singers take the spotlight. Subtlety is an art in itself, especially when it's meant to help a love story unfold before your eyes. My only note is that we need to see more of Shawn in his Calvin Klein's next time.

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY FKA Twigs: "Cellophane" (Choreographer: Kelly Yvonne) LSD: "No New Friends" (Choreographer: Ryan Heffington) Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello: "Señorita" (Choreographer: Calvit Hodge) Rosalía and J Balvin (featuring El Guincho): "Con Altura" (Choreographer: Charm La'Donna) Solange: "Almeda" (Choreographers: Maya Taylor and Solange Knowles)

BTS (featuring Halsey): "Boy with Luv" (Choreographers: Son Sungdeuk and Quick Crew) K-pop isn't exactly on heavy rotation on my playlists, but I must give credit where credit is due. Sure, the competition shows some beautiful moves of their own, but this vid is all about color, dancing, and more dancing. Don't ask me what they're singing about, but I could tell they were having fun while singing it.

ARTIST OF THE YEAR Cardi B Billie Eilish Halsey Jonas Brothers Shawn Mendes

Ariana Grande This may seem like I'm playing faves here, but if you take a look at all the work the other nominees have put out in the last year together, they still don't add up to the number of albums, singles, videos and collaborations Ari has checked off her to-do list. While it may not have been ground-breaking, and there's no doubt this award will actually go to Billie Eillish, no one can argue that this diva has put in more blood, sweat and tears this year than any other artist in the biz.

SONG OF THE YEAR Drake: "In My Feelings" Ariana Grande: "Thank U, Next" Jonas Brothers: "Sucker" Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper: "Shallow" Lil Nas X (featuring Billy Ray Cyrus): "Old Town Road (Remix)"

Taylor Swift: "You Need to Calm Down" Yeah, I'm going there again because this is an anthem we all need to hear and remember; not just this year, but for many years to come until the tables are turned, the planets are realigned and the haters finally take their seats for good.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR 21 Savage (featuring J. Cole): "A Lot" Billie Eilish: "Bad Guy" Ariana Grande: "Thank U, Next" Jonas Brothers: "Sucker" Lil Nas X (featuring Billy Ray Cyrus): "Old Town Road (Remix)"

Taylor Swift: "You Need to Calm Down" The same goes for the video! While others might have tried to battle hate with hate, Swift chose instead to take the high road, celebrate our community, shine a spotlight on some of our favorite LGBTQ icons and hold an honest mirror up at those with narrow minds. One little music video won't change the world overnight, but if it can inspire a new generation to think differently than the one before them, then that's something to get excited about.

The 2019 MTV Video Music Awards will air live from the Prudential Center in Newark on August 26th at 8 p.m. ET.  

This was originally published in Wire Magazine Issue 17.2019

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Character Names in Eleutherophobia

Since I’ve had a few people ask me about the character names in Eleutherophobia, I figured I’d run down the whole list.  These names are approximately in order of appearance in my various fics.  To be clear: this is not crossover fiction.  These are supposed to be nods to these characters, not the characters themselves.  Bearing that in mind, in approximate order of appearance:

Day the Earth Stood Still

Essa 412: a yeerkanization of “Boy 412,” the main character of the Septimus Heap series.  In my opinion, the second best treatment of the impact of war on children ever written into a modern fantasy series.

Leslie Burke: the deuteragonist of Bridge to Terabithia.  The character always reminded me of a younger Rachel, so I chose to give the name to the bearer of Rachel’s death.

Anne Shirley: the main character of Anne of Green Gables, who often goes underestimated for the extent to which she is a tough, complex, socially awkward heroine written in 1908.

George Little: the younger brother of the title character of Stuart Little.  Mostly named because I wanted to give David a last name that implied cowardice without being ridiculously obvious about it.

Lost World

[Steve] Carlsberg: the not-quite-antagonist of Welcome to Night Vale.

Akira 

Dr. Miranda Franklin: named for Miranda of Dr. Franklin’s Island.  Kind of a pun on my part: the plot of that book involves one of the main characters involuntarily turning into an anaconda. 

Jennifer Murdley: titular character of Jennifer Murdley’s Toad, one of the books in Bruce Coville’s Magic Shop series who learns the very hard way to love herself. 

Mrs. [Hannah] Gruen: Nancy Drew’s housekeeper.

THX 1138

Joey Costello: the deuteragonist of Tangerine, a story about two boys who have very different sets of troubles with their respective older brothers. 

Dr. Pendanski: one of the incompetent counselors from Holes by Louis Sachar.

Jodi O’Shea: far and away my most pointed literary allusion.  Jodi is a minor character in The Host by Stephenie Meyer, a book which I love (except for the extremely problematic ending, but I’ll get back to that). The Host is essentially a love story between a yeerk (Wanda) and a human (Ian) whose entire plot is driven by consent negotiations.  It’s about Wanda and Ian wishing they could be together but knowing they never will because they can’t be without violating the right to consent of the yeerk’s host, Melanie.  Melanie, meanwhile, is in love with a different guy... Who can’t be with her either without violating Wanda’s right to consent.

[SPOILER WARNING] Eventually Ian resolves this love quadrangle by putting Wanda inside a human (“Pet,” and don’t get me started on that name) who has been a controller for so long that she has forgotten how to exert her own conscious will.  Wanda and Ian presumably do the horizontal tango using that host instead, AND THIS IS TREATED AS A HAPPY ENDING.  Jodi O’Shea also meets the same fate as Pet: Jodi has forgotten how to feed herself or move on her own, so her own husband decides that they should just put her yeerk, Sunny, back in her head.  Sunny claims that Jodi is brain-dead... But Sunny is also strongly motivated to lie.  (There are also implications that Jodi’s husband becomes romantically involved with Sunny instead, a plot which is so horrifying it deserves its own blog post.)  Most importantly, all the main characters are really happy that these poor hosts are vegetables.  There is an entire subpopulation of humans who have become entirely dependent on their alien slave masters for survival... and this fact is treated as the solution to all the characters’ problems.  It’s celebrated.  And, yeah, both THX 1138 and Ghost in the Shell contain some pretty pointed commentary from me on why I find this ending to be so deeply unfortunate.  [END SPOILERS]

Ghost in the Shell

Mary Lennox: the main character of The Secret Garden, the first book without pictures I ever read on my own. 

Rose Rita: main character of The Letter, the Witch, and the Ring, and arguably one of the first genderqueer characters to make it into a children’s fantasy novel.

Margaret White: the antagonist of Stephen King’s novel Carrie, obsessed with preserving the innocence (and thus the dependent ignorance) of her teenage daughter.

Sophie Hatter: main character of Howl’s Moving Castle, who does in fact make her own clothes.

[Mr.] Broxholm: the titular alien from My Teacher Flunked the Planet by Bruce Coville, one of the most awesome and profound children’s sci-fi novels I have ever read.

Anita Psammead: a nod to The Five Children and It by E. Nesbitt, one of the first ever fantasy novels written for children. 

Miss Zarves: the teacher from Sideways Stories from Wayside School who doesn’t exist, because she was accidentally assigned to teach on a floor that was never built.

Nikto 770: nod to the code phrase in Day the Earth Stood Still (the original movie, not my fic).

Kit Rodriguez: the deuteragonist of the Young Wizards series, known for his passion and tendency to care deeply for others.

Aristotle “Ari” [Mendoza]: main character of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.

Dante [Quintana]: main character of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.

Gabriel “G.T.” Stoop: the main character’s mentor in Hope Was Here.

Elijah Springfield: a teen detective from the Veritas Project series.

Lydia [Bennett]: supporting character from Pride and Prejudice.

Nick Adams: a recurring Ernest Hemingway character.

T.J. Avery: next door neighbor to the Logan family in Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry.

Cecily Tallis: the narrator’s older sister (and unwitting victim) in Atonement by Ian McEwan. 

Maybeth Tillerman: one of the main characters in Homecoming by Cynthia Voight, a book that critics like to describe as “the anti-Boxcar Children” for its unflinchingly realistic portrayal of childhood homelessness.

June Boatwright: one of the protagonist’s mentors in The Secret Life of Bees.

Caitlin Somers: a Judy Blume character from Summer Sisters.

Alex Morales: main character of The Dead and the Gone by Susan Beth Pfeffer.

Cooper-Trebond: shortening of “Alanna Cooper of Trebond” the name of the main character of Tamora Pierce’s Song of the Lioness series.

Jesse Hauptman: the protagonist’s stepdaughter and mentee in the Mercy Thompson series.

Timmy Dugan: lesser-known real name of WWII comic book hero Dum Dum Dugan, sidekick to Nick Fury and Howling Commando as part of the Marvel universe. 

Luke Castellan and Chris Rodriguez: two of the supporting characters from Percy Jackson and the Olympians.  I wouldn’t say that Luke Castellan is the first meatsuit I ever fell in love with (despite him being basically a voluntary controller and also a human dumpster fire), but I would say that he made my tendency to care too much about meatsuits in general about 1000 times worse.

“Cornelius”: okay, this one is in fact a crossover—that’s meant to be Tyler Durden, main character of Chuck Palahnuick’s Fight Club. He’s a schizophrenic, lonely guy who goes to support groups for various traumas that he never actually survived (usually under the fake name Cornelius) because that’s the only way he knows how to connect to people. 

Odette: the protagonist of Swan Lake and several subsequent adaptations, including Mercedes Lackey’s awesome The Black Swan.

Rod Allbright: another character from My Teacher is an Alien, because I love that series. 

Officer Nice: a nod to the song of the same name by Vio-Lence, one of my few non-literary allusions.

Gerald “Jerry” Cruncher: a guy who works as a porter (and remover of bodies) in of A Tale of Two Cities. 

Paul Edgecombe: main character of The Green Mile, a deeply conflicted prison guard who gets cast as Pontius Pilate in a modern-day gospel retelling.

Kate Malone: narrator of Laurie Halse Anderson’s amazingly powerful novel Catalyst.

Mae Tuck: matriarch of the titular immortal clan from Tuck Everlasting.

Annie Hughes: one of the main characters from The Iron Giant.

Kirsten Larson: one of the first characters from the American Girl series, an immigrant from Sweden who struggles to acclimate to the United States.

Adah Price: one of the co-narrators of The Poisonwood Bible, a disabled polymath who loves palindromes and puzzles.

Iris Chase: a society lady and heiress from The Blind Assassin, which chronicles family dysfunction and its unique impact on women over several generations. 

Dawn Schafer: part of the enormous rotating cast of protagonists from The Babysitters’ Club series, and one of my favorite characters as a kid.

Henry Case: main character of the genre-creating cyberpunk novel Neuromancer.

Parvana Weera: a tough, outgoing young woman whose struggle to keep her family safe during the American invasion of her home in Afghanistan forms the main plot of The Breadwinner.

Raven Madison: main character of Vampire Kisses, who spends a little too much time in her intense fantasy worlds and not quite enough connected to reality. 

Mr. [Bob] Grey: pseudonym used by the creature also known as Pennywise the Clown and simply “It” in several of Stephen King’s novels.

Ms. [Mary] Logan: mother of the main character in Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry, because I love that book.

Karana Nicoleño: although Karana, the main character of Island of the Blue Dolphins, doesn’t technically have a last name, her tribe is historically referred to as the Nicoleño.

Total Recall 

Vicky Austin: main character of A Ring of Endless Light, a book about coming to terms with dying—and about the many complex shades of victim blaming that can occur in light of unquantifiable tragedy.

Samuel Cornick: roommate to the eponymous Mercy Thompson of the bestselling Patricia Briggs series, a werewolf-doctor who continuously struggles to find meaning in an excessively long life and one of my favorite characters of all time.

The Thing from Another World

Seth Clearwater: a minor character in Eclipse, one of the youngest werewolves of the Quileute pack.

Captain William Nasland: one of the more obscure characters to hold the title Captain America; retconned into the role following Steve Rogers’s “death” in 1945.  Acts as both a hero and a villain because he has a well-intentioned but also closed-minded idea of what Captain America should be. 

Allison Chapman: main character of Sharing Sam, K.A. Applegate’s lesser-known novel about teenage basketball geeks who back their way into understanding the life, the universe, and everything.

Simon Grace: one of the main characters of the Spiderwick Chronicles.

Giselle Villard: one of the main characters from the Mystic comic book series who is awesome, tough... and more than a little power-hungry.

As far as I can tell, that’s it for the character names in Eleutherophobia.  I mentioned here why Marco’s last name is Alvarez and Cassie’s is Day in my series.  There are a few dozen other allusions as well (Tom and Bonnie bastardizing the “tears in the rain” speech from Blade Runner, Cassie quoting the epigraph from Home of the Brave, several nods to Remnants and Everworld and The One and Only Ivan, Marco making jokes about Lost World and Alien) and obviously all my fic titles are from classic sci-fi movies while all my song nods are The Best of 1990—2000, but as far as I know that’s it for allusions. If there are any that I missed, or that you’re still wondering about, let me know and I’ll happily clarify.

[congregamus]

Getting to Know You A to Z

A- Age: 
39.75 B- Birthplace: Alabama  
C- Current time: 
1:04 PM D- Last drink you had: Beer (Corona; it’s very hot today) 
E- Easiest person to talk to: 
The Void F- Favorite song: Impossible question. Refuse to answer. 
G- Grossest Memory: 
Probably my cousin’s next-door neighbor trying to get me to play doctor with her.  H- Horror (Yes or no)? Sure. But reserve the right of 15-minute veto for poor writing/production 
I- In love? 
No. J- Jealous of anyone/thing? I’m jealous of anyone who gets attention on this hell-site without begging. 
K- Killed someone? 
No.  L- Love at first sight or should I walk by again? 
Love is a garden. If you’re lucky enough that it blooms without much effort on your part, just know it will rot if you don’t tend the thing. M- Middle name: 
Gregory N- Number of siblings: 
One (1) O- One wish: 
I wish that my country loved curiosity and learning instead of  authority and status quo. P- Person I called last: 
The last number I recognize is my boss’s mobile. Q- Question you’re asked a lot: 
1) How do you *do* that? or 2) I wonder what it’s like in your brain. R- Reason to smile: My censer and my St. Katya candle are on their way! 
S- Song you last sang: 
Backing vocals for Ariana in “Dangerous Woman” T- Time you woke up: 
5:30 AM U- Underwear color: 
Nude/Commando V- Vacation: 
I still want to get to the Greek islands and Istanbul/Constantinople W- Worst habit: Walking out the door without making sure every thing’s turned off. I cause myself all manner of unnecessary anxiety. 
X- X-rays: 
Is this filler? I don’t know what this means. Y- Your favorite food: It’s a sauce rotation between the General Tso and Tikka Masala. You could put either of those sauces on old tires, and I’ll still eat. 
Z- Zodiac: Leo II, Aries ascendant, Gemini moon | Chinese snake

Thanks as always to @callmebrycelee for the questions :)

[davidastbury]

On the Train ... morning.

She has a bad cough. A girl, Asian, thin, looking chilled in the old meaning, struggling to control the spasms. It is a ‘keep-everyone-in-the-house-awake-all-night’ type of cough. She looks very tired; probably spent the night biting onto paper tissues with tears of frustration running across her face. The cough will not be placated.

Worst of all is the lack of sympathy on the faces of the people in the carriage. With each burst of coughing they all look up sharply - as if shocked, as if the coughing was an unreasonable and unwelcome intrusion into their lives. The girl, who is about seventeen, is upset.

But the young man sitting next to her (the carriage is full) is different. They aren’t together, I can tell that, but he seems to have a concerned interest. Perhaps he is a doctor and wants to help her, or perhaps he would just like to lean slightly to his left and kiss the top of her head.

DIY

Young chap showing off his football skills in Bay48 at my local Homebase store. Agile as a dancer in his skinny-leg jeans and Homebase sweatshirt.

What makes it very impressive is that he’s using a tennis ball and that must make it very difficult. He demontrates a dazzling rotation of tricks to keep the ball in the air - tapping it one foot to the other, sometimes using his knees. All the time he nonchalantly leans back, arms outstretched, and smiling, as if amused by his own skill. The ball responds obediently to the soft flicks of his instep and outstep (is there such a word?) and sometimes balances on a raised foot before being weightlessly tossed upwards.

I have noticed that all this is to impress a co-worker - a pretty girl, cute in her Homebase apron. She’s stocktaking the products on the ‘Wood Preservatives’ shelves, but sneaks smiling glances at the young man.

I am thinking what a marvellous dad he’d make - big and cheerful, good humoured and up for it. He’d be like a big brother. He’d look after his kids and stick up for them - teach them fair-play. Teach them how to use a power drill - how to change a tyre - how to be kind to animals.

Sing Song At Russell’s. ... late 1950s

The best time to be at Russell’s house was Saturday afternoon. Saturday was the only time that Russell’s dad was around, or so it seemed to me. He relished the time with his family, wanting to know what everyone had been doing, teasing his wife with all sorts of proposals - saying things like - ‘the latest promotion will mean us moving to America’- and driving the two dogs crazy with ‘find the bone’ games. I loved being there and I was treated, or humorously mistreated, like one of the family.

The high-point of the day was when Russell’s dad sat at the piano. He vigorously pushed back his shirtsleeves like a workman and stared at the keyboard as if he had never seen one before. Then, head back and eyes closed, he launched into a medley of music-hall songs. All about love and treachery - about how the rich ‘gets their pleasures’ and the poor ‘gets babies’ - about soldiers not coming home - about ‘rolling out the barrel’ - about ‘being poor, but being ‘honest’ - about ‘walking along, singing a song, side by side’. I remember how he tugged his wife to the piano and how she feigned embarrassment as he did a heart rending performance of his favourite. Eyes rolling with theatrical passion, face upturned in supplication, he cried out:-

‘We've been together now for forty years,

An' it don't seem a day too much,

There ain't a lady livin' in the land

As I'd "swop" for my dear old Dutch.’

We would be laughing, hardly able to join in the chorus.

And once - (only once!) Caroline joined in the singing and came and stood behind me. I was sitting on a padded kitchen stool with Russell next to me. Suddenly, surprisingly, sublimely, I felt her place both hands on my shoulders. It was easy familiarity - a cheerful intimacy - the comfortable simplicity of trust. And then she pressed herself against my back. I could feel her warmth - more than that I could feel - with unbearable excitement - the swell of her breathing and the heavenly vibration of her voice.

And Russells' dad conducted with his free hand as we sang all the verses and choruses of Molly Malone’.

Christine C. (as told by her friend’s mother)

She came from a poor family in a time when there wasn’t a benefit system. Being the eldest of six, it was expected that she should make a contribution, so she left school at fifteen and started working.

She was very conscious of her background when mixing with her new fellow-workers. It was an expensive department store and the other girls appeared to be middle class. They had a confidence that Christine envied - she wanted to be like them. She wanted to shake off the ‘make-do-and-mend’ - the weight of her parents anxieties - the submissiveness of the impoverished.

And Christine did well. She quickly adopted the accent she knew was essential - picking it up unconsciously by simply mixing with people who spoke ‘well’. She was a dream employee; being totally positive and before long she had her own special clients, moneyed customers who liked her and wouldn’t be served by anyone else. The department store management watched all this and offered her various promotions, which she accepted on the condition that she retained her special clients and could work the shop floor whenever she wished - and that she remained in the commission rewards scheme.

She made the department store her life. Often she attended meetings and dinners held at the main headquarters in Oxford Street. Sometimes she was asked about her career - how it had started - did she come into retailing as a graduate? ‘What did your father do?’ Very middle-class questions. And all the old feelings would come back. She replied that her parents were retired and her father had been a headmaster.

At The Station ... Ladies Waiting Room.

Built by the sensible Victorians - offering comfort and safety for women - somewhere to sit and avoid any importuning by male travellers - but now no longer used for that purpose. Instead the facility is utilised as a depositary for British Rail maintenance equipment - electric pumps, sandbags, leather harnesses, crowbars, ramps, tins of heavy-duty lubricants, hydraulic tools and ‘No Entry’ signs.

Right!

Age, language, dress – unimportant. She sits – sturdy as a skittle – torso twisted – cylindrical legs crossed – flexed with the muscular threat and elasticity of a big cat – yes! Perhaps I’m getting nearer when I mention cat – Baudelaire’s cat – voluptuous and cruel - clawing at his crumpled manuscripts, blinking in the sunlight through his dirty windows – the implacable and insatiable green-eyed cat that walked through his brain.

Let me talk about - ‘the line’. It runs from the painted nail of the index finger of her left hand and passes in a flowing rhythm all the way to the stretched tendon in her neck. It is as perfect and as simple as a Schubert melody – but it has no form! It will melt away as you reach for it. Be grateful for the amazing intimacy, the privilege of staring – and for the dry grip on your pencil as you let it flow – with a skill not your own – until that line placates every tension in your entire life.

Waiting Room

It was in this waiting room that they had once, a long time ago, sat together. He had positioned himself on her left because he didn’t want her to see the spot on the left side of his face. And he had held her hand – their first contact – and it had seemed everything to him. And later they did indeed have everything - and that everything was more than he could have imagined. And now he would give everything to be able to hold her hand again.

Carly Simon has written a book telling of her friendship with Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Carly, as a rock star, a famous person with famous friends, acknowledged that Jackie was ‘on a different level altogether’. However they developed a warm relationship and appear to have been good for each other.

Once Jackie showed her a huge leather-bound book. She had copied the entire Odyssey in Greek - with its English translation on each facing page. ‘There must have been a hundred pages of Jackie’s own ink drawings of Ari as Odysseus, depicting his long siren-filled excursion home’... Carly continues ... ‘I can imagine her doing it when he was away on his tankers and she was on the island of Scorpios, making her drawings’.

I can take this one step further! How amazing that this woman - perhaps the most celebrated of the twentieth century, was working on the most celebrated book of any century - and like the beautiful Penelope in that book, nervous and fearful, enduring endless separation, endless longings.

As Told To Me. ... #42

‘After singing a few of his songs - or rather chanting melodies over and over again - he came down into the audience. This was Shlomo Carlbach, Master of Kabbalah, Talmudist and founder of the ‘House of Love and Prayer Centre’ in San Francisco. He was five rows away, shaking hands with the men and bowing to the women, working his way along the line. I wanted to get away in case he came near me because I felt he might ask for something - and I would have to give whatever it was, promises, money, my life, without properly understanding. He was right at the end of the row and looking at me. I tried to leave but everything felt like a dream - I couldn’t move. And then he was in front of me; very close, near enough to smell him. And he asked me what my name was and I couldn’t speak.’

[ary11y]

Yeah sure I'll Tumblr the epic looking lyrics I made for The Forest For The Trees

(psst, have this :])

(also you probably want to scroll fast in the "HIDE!" part)

This race is not yet run but the maze will go on and on until the lun converts to the blazing sun

This battle can't be won but the war will go on and on until the one contorts to the WANTON VOID!

This path is yet un-roamed, but the road will go on and on until we've fallen over our own gravestone

These seeds have grown new trees, but I see what is yet to be and once has been it all will cease;

Will drift into dreams;

Amalgamated nullity where all of time and space just freeze.

Where nothing will breathe.

Where life is mere fallacy...

Where I can finally be at ease.

THE WORLD IS CAVING ON IT'S AXIS, HELL HAS ALWAYS HAD ACCESS TO OUR PLANE OF EXISTENCE, PESSIMISTS ASCEND IN ESCENCE.

HEAVEN HATH NO FURY LIKE A HANGMAN BORED, SEVEN SINS ADORNED AND ALL AFFORDED WAS THE FORCE OF A FOLKLORE.

THE DETRIMENT OF BELIEF AND THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT DICTATE THAT HATE WILL MAKE HAPPY AND LOVE WILL LEAVE YOU WITHOUT!

IT SEEMS THAT BEST TRACED MAPS OF FOOLS WILL TRACE THIS MAZE TO A MAP BUT THE FACT IS THAT KNOWING YOUR WAY STILL DON'T MAKE THE RACER LESS OF A RAT!

Ideations obscene paint the scene, once with muted greens and pleasantries, now red with stains of should-have-beens...-

-I see colors unseen; destinies of the me's that walked less carefully the silent pleas-

PLEASE

DON'T THINK ME DISEASED

BUT TIME IS MY ENEMY

AND I CAN'T SPEND IT ON MY KNEES

JUST PRAYING FOR PEACE

I SEE IT AHEAD OF ME...

I'M BURNING THE FOREST FOR THE TREES!

THE WORLD'S THROWN AT THE SEAMS

I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE!

AND I SEE WHERE THE CHASM LEADS AND JUST WHAT MEANS WILL-

DON'T MAKE ME GUARANTEES I KNOW I CAN'T-

-MAKE ME FORCE THOSE SCREAMS.

-CONFIDENTLY SIGN!

TIME IS NOT ON MY SIDE, SO I SLIDE-

WE'RE VICTIMS OF TIME!

-SLOWLY DOWN AND DOWN UNTIL I WANT TO...

YET I'M SOMEHOW MORE SCARED OF MINE! I WANT TO...

RUN

AND

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

HIDE!

My branches are tied with rope made with cyanide.

And I'm not sure how long my pride can keep me alive.

The flames keep on beckoning...

But I won't let this forest burn for me.

[ary11y]

Fifteenmenonadeadmanschestyohohoandabottleofrundrinkandthedevilhaddonefortherestyohohoandabottleofrum

[ary11y]

AND YES, AS I'VE SAID NO I'M NOT TO BLIND THAT I MIGHT FIND THIS LIGHT AND THINK IT'S FOR ME...

NO, I'M NOT NAIVE!

I SEE THE SHRIEKS OF THE DAMNED AND THE MEEK THAT STILL ARE YET TO BE!

...

..BUT I'M JUST A BRAIN AND SOME BLOOD AND SOME ELECTRICITY

AND IF I GOT

80

F@CKING

YEARS

BEFORE THE SLEEP

OH CAN YOU BLAME ME FOR CRYING HERESIES?!

I

CAN'T ABIDE

BY THE LINE THAT YOU MADE!

I LIVE IN LOVE, YOU LIVE IN HATE!

YOU CAN DEAL WITH RAGE, YOU CAN GO JUDGE YOUR NEIGHBOR AND PRAY

BUT JESUS AIN'T YOUR MATE!

AND HE MIGHT NOT BE MINE, BUT AT LEAST I'LL BE KIND

WHILE THE WORLD AROUND SPINS ON A DIME, TIME BY TIME!

WHAT'S THE SHAME IN TRYING TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF IN THIS LIVING HELL?? HUMANITY GOES BOTH WAYS!

[ary11y]

Kushimuhitobitowahitokizutsukeruorewakizuhitosowhatchathinkimgonnadotoyoukizuwayatsuwahitokizyhitoschadenfreudejustaintasgood

[ary11y]

I wrote you a la la love song!

My heart is singing for you and I'm singing along,

We go-

Bee-boppa-doo-doh

Badoo-bee-doo-wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Baby you're one of a kind :)

[ary11y]

THE ROPE'S NOT VOLUNTARY

NOR ONE THAT YOU CAN SHOW.

THE NOOSE THAT'S TIED SO SCARCELY...

MERELY ACTS TO KEEP YOU ON YOUR TOES.