#somewhere I probably still have that anklet...i wore it until the string part broke but i kept the bits

[exsqueezememacaroni]

Well, today is apparently a rest day (but at least I don't have covid!), so let me wax poetic about this pic from 20 years ago. I'm feeling some hard nostalgia feels, but trust me, it's probs hormones.

So that's me, second in from the left. This is the day I left a sorta kinda commune on Maui for grad school in australia. The guy in the red shirt was one of the 'managers' - addicted to painkillers, but otherwise a nice enough dude. I was in 'a thing' with the guy in the middle and woman next to him (do I have a taste for skinny australian guys? naaaah (yeah)). They were both so beautiful, and complicated, and lovely. Most nights we used to roll smokes for each other, read a verse from the Tao Te Ching, and then do terrible things to each other. That girl had a real knack for packing a bowl while driving with her knees. I never saw them again after this picture was taken. The guy all the way to the right I shall name bc i doubt it's his real one: Captain Bob. Capn Bob is exactly as cool as he looks - he had a boat and would split his time between Alaska and Hawaii (which a lot of people out there do, I think?). He made all the necklaces, etc. we're wearing (you can't see, but the three of us in the middle have on matching anklets). Yes, his dick is the only thing holding up that sarong. He was the elder statesman and he used to lead us on field trips to find shrooms in the cow patties. Out of everyone there, I miss him the most and I hope he's still captaining out there somewhere. There were maybe about 15 people living on this property, but the 5 of us hung out the most. We'd lay out under dark skies and talk. We'd weed the garden. We'd go to the secret nude beach and swim from dusk til dawn. One night at that beach, we were smoking in the parking lot and I happen to strike up a conversation with some random dude who turned out to be someone from my class in hs??

I have no memory of who took the picture. Actually, it was probably the landowner?

I was so used to peeing outdoors at this point that when I got to the airport and had to go to the bathroom I almost had a panic attack in the stall. Though, I'm sure there was more to it than that (but for real, the claustrophobia!) - I didn't last long in grad school, but I'd like to think it was more about the racism and general backwaters mentality run rampant throughout northeastern oz, and also the fact that by the time I got to school I was already done with academia. I'm also sure there was a part of me still stuck at this place with these people, and while it was mostly dysfunctional, that's the hallmark of dysfunction, right?

god, I don't even have that hat anymore....