#sometimes when your brain works exclusively in associations

[virtualflowerbatathlete]

Weird opinion nobody asked me for:

Several things can be true at once when talking about Leo’s arc in HOO regarding romance.

NO, Leo did not need to resolve his self esteem issues and insecurities before he started dating. You don’t have to be fully mentally healthy to date someone or be in love (Look at Percabeth! Both of them were a mess when they started dating, but they grow together.) The implication that you need to be fully recovered from any mental illness or trauma before being “allowed” to date is a dangerous one.

BUT it was incredibly disheartening to watch these insecurities lead Leo to being in a relationship where he is not as happy as he hoped he would be, and even in some cases, being abused by a girlfriend who seems almost ashamed to be associated with Leo at all. Calypso’s irritation and snipes at Leo don’t feel at all like when couples like Percabeth or Solangelo tease each other. When Percabeth and Solangelo tease each other, there’s an undercurrent of genuine affection, and also a sense that the two are on even footing in the relationship; Nico can call Will his “significant annoyance,” and Will can call Nico his “little ball of darkness.” Annabeth calls Percy “Seaweed Brain,” and he can call her “Wise Girl.” But there is no even footing with Caleo. Leo is so desperate to make things work with her that he won’t fire back when Calypso insults his interests or personality. The relationship is volatile and imbalanced, and honestly, that feels like a far more tragic ending for Leo than him being single at the end of HOO.

ALSO it was fully possible for Leo to have an arch where he realizes that he doesn’t need romance to be happy, and later getting into a romantic relationship. (Hell, it could even happen in the same book) I deeply resent the takes where people somehow see both these things as mutually exclusive. As an example of this, over time, I learned that grades don’t define who I am, and that I can build my self worth outside of them. That doesn’t mean that I have to give up on getting good grades entirely. What that does mean is that I focus more on learning the material for my own benefit than trying to get the highest score, and strangely enough, my grades started going up. In the case of Leo, a character arc where he learned to love himself and not need a romantic relationship doesn’t mean that he would stop looking for one. Instead, he would seek meaningful connections with the people around him, one of which could bloom into a romantic relationship.

ALSO it would be fully possible for Leo to have this arc while in a romantic relationship with someone. While a partner can’t “fix” you, the people we love can open doors for us to learn and grow. Hell, in the books, we see this demonstrated with Leo and Jason. Leo confides an insecurity, and Jason challenges this insecurity. This causes Leo to think, and thus to grow. Yes, they were not canonically romantic, but my point still stands that this isn’t necessarily a journey Leo would need to do alone. He could have had a romantic partner who helped in his journey of learning to love himself.

ALSO the desire Rick, and by some extension we (the fandom) had in HOO to pair every single character off with their “perfect match” is one that should be questioned. I think that Rick and the fandom have come a long way, and I think TOA really played around with this concept in a very interesting way. But the strange implication I sometimes see is that Leo having no romantic partner must mean that it’s an unsatisfying arc. As an aroace person, the implication that life and stories are only satisfying if the person involved ends up with a romantic partner is disheartening.(I say this as a Valgrace shipper) If your first instinct when hearing a character is single or learning to love being single is to go, “OH GOD, THEY’RE ALL ALONE AND WILL NEVER BE HAPPY! THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN FOR THEM!” Maybe, it’s time to examine the implications behind those thoughts.

ALSO shipping is fun and not that serious. If you like a ship, go for it. This is not me telling you not to ship Leo with anyone, as I said, I’m a huge Valgrace fan.

Anywho, if you want more extensive thoughts on Calypso, lemme know. Also feel free to add, I’m sure there’s even more nuance to talk about

[tirfpikachu]

bruh just saw a post where a tumblrina got all defensive saying it's 1000% valid and above criticisms for a woman to get creeped out and be scared of stds if a dude she's into turns out to be bi

like. girl. this shit is why i sometimes don't fuck with bi & het women. if you either fetishize or feel grossed out by being with a man who just so happens to have had flings or relationships with other men... you're just a homophobe. gay/bi men can be lesbophobic. gay/bi women can be homophobic. the amount of homophobic dykes i see running around, running their mouths and still associating stigma with male homosexuality and even TYING IT UP TO STDS ??????? like holy fucking shit. did the aids crisis teach us nothing about lgbtq solidarity when gay/bi men were hit the hardest?? to me you're instantly as boring as any homophobic het tradwife. and i'm glad some gyns are calling it out in themselves and know they need to work on it, bc we all grow up under homophobic society, but some of y'all are making the craziest excuses and i'm instantly like HMMM noted. you would have 100% been the type of homophobic bi girl making gay/bi boys at school uncomfortable. gotcha. noted 📝

btw this includes if you suddenly learn your bf has a history of sexual trauma and you suddenly find him gross and "emasculated" btw. that's the heteropatriarchy lodged deep inside your brain. and i think you should get out of that man's life asap and let a cool bi chick snatch him up or smth. i see this especially with het women, which is why so many bi men are bi4bi when they're in het relationships, but honestly bi women aren't above it either... we need to send some respectful fujoshis over i stg cuz the biphobia is embarrassing af. and no, it's not the same as sexualities being at times sex/agab-exclusive, this is straight up just stigma. bisexual stigma. and picturing your male crush with another guy and being like "EWWW" like the homophobic bi girls in my highschool 💀💀 so ridiculous honestly. boohoo a dude you're into is not conforming to heteropatriarchal standards! shockers! y'all always say you want femboys and sweet anime yaoi boys or whatever but when a gnc guy hits you up and isn't straight you feel attacked and lose all respect for him?? such weirdos

[miiishcambion]

There’s a lot of debate right now regarding “neurotypical communication vs neurodivergent communication” and which communication behaviors are associated with each type, if one is better than the other etc, and it reminds me of a concept I learned in grad school regarding the ‘context’ level of communication styles. To summarize:

Basically, communication styles exist in a spectrum: from very ‘high context’ styles that require a high level of cultural context and mutual understanding to work properly, allll the way over to the very ‘low context’ styles, where communication is very upfront with little to no cultural context needed for it to be understood.

High context is usually indirect with a lot of subtext, with a focus on “politeness” and the avoidance of “rudeness.” It varies widely depending on the culture it exists in, and two people from different high-context communication styles may very well struggle to communicate at all.

Low context is usually direct and straightforward. You aren’t expecting the listener to know a bunch of additional norms in order to do over your meaning- your meaning is clear in your words. For people not used to high context communication, it can come across as abrasive or rude.

A lot of what you see people describe as “neurotypical communication” is high-context communication, and a lot of what people describe as “neurodivergent communication” is actually low-context communication. That’s not to say that one neurotype can’t gravitate towards one more on average (I do actually think there is a basis to draw a connection between neurodivergence and a preference for low-context communication, for example)- but it is to say that someone’s communication style cannot, on its own, determine their neurotype.

There are pros and cons to both high and low context communication, and a communication style is often deeply entrenched in the culture that develops it- to the point that challenging it can be very difficult and even upsetting. The way we communicate has emotional and social importance to us, and when other people question it, it can make us defensive.

At the end of the day, though, I think people often use neurodivergent/neurotypical to describe things that are not exclusive to those groups, and I think that artificially shuts down discussion in a way that isn’t helpful. Turning the conversation into a debate around whose inherent, unchangeable brain type is better is just not productive.

Being able to isolate the communication style itself in order to dissect it is a much better use of our time, imo- because while neurotypes don’t change, communication and behavior can, and sometimes it needs to.

(I might add to this later to explain it a bit more in detail and get into what sorts of cultures tend to have what sorts of communication and what situations they tend to work best in, but I’ll leave it here for now.)

[pebblysand]

i don't claim to have any novel, hot takes on this but i've been going through my 2023 tumblr archive to update my FAQs (linked in pinned post) and the sheer violence of those anons i was receiving last may from trans activists just for being a HP fan is baffling. it's funny how quickly you forget, or how you sit there and wonder if maybe, you overreacted a bit. in hindsight, i don't think i did. those were horrid.

i wrote a couple of pieces at the time (here and here) about how i felt these people (who send hate to strangers on the internet) were harming the cause, which to me, is very much stating the obvious. of course, they are harming the cause. you send people death threats for literally no reason and you sound insane, and thus cheapen the work of all and any activists out there who are supporting the same cause as you. that's how the right wins. by saying: look! these people are violent and insane! and getting away with harmful legislation to "combat" them.

but, i think what's interesting is that this isn't exclusive to trans rights. as we, on the left, have seen the right radicalise (and no, this is not only a US problem) there seems to be this tension that emerges in the question of: how do we react? because the fact of the matter is that whilst the act of sending strangers anonymous death threats on the internet is relatively harmless, the right has fallen into a habit of using increasingly violent methods to get their point across, some of which do work on the masses, the same way all authoritative governments work, by instilling fear.

and, i think, for a lot of people on the left (myself included) there is a real question as to whether we are ready to and/or should, be using similar methods. cancel culture and online death threats and all of these moralising exercises from people who claim a societal moral high ground, is an iteration of that. and, i believe that this is actually not an easy question to solve. because, just like on a playground, there are times when it is actually appropriate to hit back, there may be times where the use of violence and threats is justified. there are people who have been "cancelled" who... deserved it. JKR is probably first in line. and, i don't think that's a particularly shocking take.

i come from a country where most major societal advancements have been won through armed revolution and the spilling of blood, so i'm not someone who actually believes that peaceful protest will always get you where you want to be. sometimes, in the face of violence and oppression, violence has its place. and, i am not a trans person myself, but i can understand the outrage and anger you might feel as one, seeing the violence and the legislation out there, especially in certain american states, or in the uk. so, you see someone on the internet enjoying the work of someone who seems to be threatening your right to exist, and you want to respond in a way that is equally violent. i do see the logic. to be honest, when you look at the harm JKR is being accused of, sending death threats to people who enjoy her work may even seem tame.

at the same time, as i've said above, anyone with more than two brain cells can see that whatever these people are trying to do, aligning with the violence of the right and responding "in kind" is ridiculous. it's going nowhere. it's making other trans activists look crazy by association, because what the fuck are you doing sending death threats to people for writing fanfiction about a book? chill. get off your high horse and understand that we are all navigating the world in shades of grey. it goes beyond lunatic behaviour and is, again, reinforcing the right's legitimacy in imposing laws and sanctions that are preventing people from having basic human rights. just like when the right sends twitter death threats to and doxxes left-wing activists, we, on the left, look at them (rightfully) thinking they are insane and evil.

at the time this happened, i had a conversation with a friend of mine who basically said (i am paraphrasing) "don't use the words 'trans activist' to talk about these people. they are not trans activists, they are harming the cause, and it's hurting me to be grouped with them." so at the time, i didn't. but... i'm not going to lie, this comment really angered me and stuck with me, though. i didn't say anything at the time, because i was not in the mood to get into another argument (especially with a friend - and i kind of know you'll be reading this, and if you are, i'm sorry i didn't say these things to you at the time), but i felt like "hey, you're not on the receiving end of death threats from these people, you don't really get to tell me what to do."

and, now that time has passed, i think i know why i felt like that. because these people, sending death threats on the internet in support of this cause, are trans activists. not only do they identify as such, and act in favour and support of this cause, but also, i'm pretty sure i would agree with most of what they believe in. and, i think, for a lot of us on the left, it's very easy to distance ourselves from this violent fringe that has risen in the past few years, instead of looking at it for what it is, which is an active part of our political spectrum. i think distancing ourself from it helps us avoid the real question of: are we okay with using the right's methods to achieve our aims of protecting human rights?

obviously, in this debate, you also have to weigh in the fact that internet activism is a mostly fake. i'm pretty sure that beyond sending HP fans death threats on the internet, these people have, IRL, actually achieved nothing of substance in the fight for trans rights. which makes their existence and belonging to the movement even more frustrating because not only is their particular brand of activism harming other forms of left-wing activism, but it's not even a net positive. but they are part of this movement and i think recognising them as such is actually pretty important.

i say i don't have any novel takes on this debate because this is a recurring question for the left and it’s been so for decades, and i don't have a solution. i don't really know what my opinion is on these people and their methods, and i, too, am navigating shades of grey. there is a part of me that will always believe that the left should not, actually, respond in kind. ever. that we're better than that. but, should we be?

i think there are things that we believe in, and principles that we uphold, that do not and cannot support idiotic behaviour, such as sending strangers death threats on the internet, regardless of the fact that we are doing this to match the other side's energy. but, other types of more violent action? i don't know. i don't know where the line should be drawn. there is a difference between the potential, debatable legitimacy of armed revolution and, again, a fake form of internet activism which helps literally no one. but, i think we do need to recognise that these two ideas stem from the same root of matching the right blow for blow and using its methods to advance a cause. it is a form of activism, it's just not one that we like to think about.

[shrimpmandan]

i agree that a lot of febfems use the term as a political stance and/or to please rad lesbians and not get outcast for being bi but you're acting like that's the only reason. there are plenty of reasons someone would be febfem and sometimes it really is just personal. attraction preference, trauma with men, etc. just so you know!

Okay anon I'm gonna level with you. I'm bisexual. I have SEVERE complex trauma related to both sexes. By the logic of "oh they're just traumatized", I should not be dating period.

Avoiding trauma triggers WILL make them worse. If you associate certain traits (e.g. gender) with your abusers forever that will make any PTSD/C-PTSD worse. This has been proven.

My issue is not with preferences. Preferences are not exclusivity. My problem is with people thinking it's totally normal to just repress an entire facet of your sexuality-- whether it's because you think that men are inherently evil and abusive, or because you have trauma that you refuse to unpack and work through.

And considering I don't see anyone labeling themselves as a 'mebfem', nor do I see male bisexuals expressing similar exclusivity, I think it's safe to assume that febfems are the odd ones out here. "Trauma with men" is only going to carry you as a counter argument when you're talking to people who aren't traumatized, or who subscribe to the same notion that trauma should be avoided and not dealt with. I'm neither.

Bringing her up again: my mom is bisexual. She also happens to have severe complex trauma with both sexes, but especially men. She's in a happy and healing relationship with a man. All it takes is one good relationship, not even necessarily of a romantic nature, with someone for your brain to realize that not everyone of a particular sex, or race, or hair color, or who has a tattoo is just like your abuser and going to hurt you again.

[fathimasalam]

The Science Behind Why Certain Brands Become Addictive

Have you ever noticed how certain brands seem to have an almost magnetic pull on us? Whether it's the rush of unboxing a new gadget, the familiarity of sipping a favorite coffee, or the thrill of browsing through an app, some brands tap into our minds in a way that keeps us coming back. As the Best Digital Marketer In Kochi , i would say , This isn’t by accident ; there’s actual science behind why some brands become so irresistibly addictive. Let’s dive into the psychology and neuroscience that brands use to win our loyalty, our habits, and sometimes even our hearts.

1. Creating the “Reward Loop”

Brands often use what’s known as the reward loop to keep us engaged. This loop works on the same principle as other rewarding behaviors, like playing a game or even eating something sweet. Here’s the breakdown:

Cue: The cue is what initially grabs your attention—a notification from your favorite app, the logo of your go-to coffee shop, or the sight of a new sneaker ad.

Routine: This is the action you take—scrolling through a feed, entering the store, or placing an order.

Reward: Finally, there’s a reward—a sense of accomplishment, pleasure, or belonging.

When we engage in this loop enough times, our brains release dopamine (the feel-good chemical), which strengthens our desire to repeat the behavior. This is why we find ourselves reaching for our phones automatically or craving our favorite brand products.

2. Building Emotional Connections

Brands that stick with us know how to tap into our emotions. They create connections that go beyond just products and offer experiences, stories, and a sense of belonging. Some brands use nostalgia, while others align with personal values or causes. These elements aren’t accidental; they’re meticulously designed to make us feel good about associating with the brand.

Example: Nike doesn’t just sell shoes—it sells empowerment. Through stories of athletes overcoming challenges and motivational slogans like “Just Do It,” Nike builds a brand that feels like a personal cheerleader. This connection makes customers feel motivated, loyal, and even proud to be part of the Nike community.

3. Mastering the Art of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

Brands also use the psychology of scarcity and urgency to make products feel special and exclusive. Limited-edition releases, countdown timers, and “only a few left in stock” prompts all play into our fear of missing out (FOMO). When we think something is rare, it becomes more desirable. Our brains often make the quick decision to buy, just in case it’s not available later.

4. Appealing to Our Sense of Identity

We all want to feel unique, and some brands skillfully weave this sense of self into their branding. By making customers feel like they belong to a special group, these brands give people a sense of identity. When we wear or use their products, we feel like we’re part of something bigger, something meaningful.

5. Consistency and Familiarity Build Trust

Humans are creatures of habit. When we find something we like, we tend to stick with it. Consistency breeds trust because it creates a sense of reliability. This is why certain brands keep their visual elements and messaging so consistent. They make sure that every experience you have with them, whether it’s online or in-store, feels familiar and trustworthy.

6. Designing Products with the “Hook” Model

Product design itself can also be a big factor in a brand’s addictiveness. Some brands use what’s known as the Hook Model to create products that fit seamlessly into our routines. This model, developed by author Nir Eyal, focuses on four stages:

Trigger: An internal or external prompt that reminds us to engage with the product.

Action: The behavior we perform to get the reward.

Variable Reward: This is where it gets interesting—the reward is sometimes unpredictable, which makes it more engaging (think of social media notifications or new content on a streaming platform).

Investment: Finally, we invest time, data, or money, which strengthens our connection to the product.

Example: Instagram uses this model expertly.

7. Crafting Positive Associations with Sensory Branding

Certain brands go the extra mile by stimulating our senses, creating a memorable experience that keeps us coming back for more. This could be a specific color, sound, scent, or even texture that we associate with the brand.

8. Creating Social Proof and Brand Loyalty

Finally, brands become addictive by cultivating strong communities of loyal followers. When we see others who are passionate about a brand, we’re more likely to develop an interest too. This social proof—seeing people we admire using certain brands—reinforces the idea that we should try them out. Social media plays a huge role here, as influencers, celebrities, and even friends promote products they love.

Final Thoughts: Brand Addiction Isn’t Accidental

The addictive nature of certain brands is a fascinating blend of psychology, neuroscience, and marketing savvy. From creating reward loops and tapping into our emotions to building communities and positive associations, brands use a multi-faceted approach to win our hearts and keep us coming back. As consumers, it’s empowering to understand these tactics—because the more we know, the more mindful we can be about the choices we make.

So next time you feel a pull toward your favorite brand, take a moment to consider the science behind it. After all, recognizing the magic doesn’t make it any less compelling—sometimes, it makes the experience all the more interesting.

[theadmiringbog]

Everyone, HSP or not, feels best when neither too bored nor too aroused.

--

Too little arousal and one is dull, ineffective. To change that underaroused physical state, we drink some coffee, turn on the radio, call a friend, strike up a conversation with a total stranger, change careers—anything! At the other extreme, too much arousal of the nervous system and anyone will become distressed, clumsy, and confused. We cannot think; the body is not coordinated; we feel out of control. Again, we have many ways to correct the situation. Sometimes we rest. Or mentally shut down. Some of us drink alcohol or take a Valium.

--

People differ considerably in how much their nervous system is aroused in the same situation, under the same stimulation.

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The difference is largely inherited, and is very real and normal.

--

You notice levels of stimulation that go unobserved by others. This is true whether we are talking about subtle sounds, sights, or physical sensations like pain. It is not that your hearing, vision, or other senses are more acute (plenty of HSPs wear glasses). The difference seems to lie somewhere on the way to the brain or in the brain, in a more careful processing of information. We reflect more on everything. And we sort things into finer distinctions. Like those machines that grade fruit by size—we sort into ten sizes while others sort into two or three.

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This greater awareness of the subtle tends to make you more intuitive, which simply means picking up and working through information in a semiconscious or unconscious way.

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One general rule is that when we have no control over stimulation, it is more upsetting, even more so if we feel we are someone’s victim. While music played by ourselves may be pleasant, heard from the neighbor’s stereo, it can be annoying,

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HSPs are not in a more aroused state all the time. We are not “chronically aroused” in day-to-day life or when asleep. We are just more aroused by new or prolonged stimulation. (Being an HSP is not the same as being “neurotic”—that is, constantly anxious for no apparent reason).

--

Here are some other psychological methods useful in handling overarousal:

• Reframe the situation.

• Repeat a phrase, prayer, or mantra that, through daily practice, you have come to associate with deep inner calm.

• Witness your overarousal.

• Love the situation.

• Love your overarousal.

--

Since we are dealing with the body, it can be an equally good idea to try a physical approach. Here’s a list of some purely physical strategies:

• Get out of the situation!

• Close your eyes to shut out some of the stimulation.

• Take frequent breaks.

• Go out-of-doors.

• Use water to take the stress away.

• Take a walk.

• Calm your breathing.

• Adjust your posture to be more relaxed and confident.

• Move!

• Smile softly.

It’s amazing how often we forget to take action simply to get out of a situation. Or take a break.

--

HSPs in particular should never underestimate the advantages of deep friendships. They do not have to be so intense, complicated, or exclusive as romantic relationships. Some conflicts can be left to work themselves out. Annoying traits can be ignored a little longer, maybe for the entire life of the relationship. And in friendship you can check out what is possible with another person without such lasting harm being done if you’re rejected or decide to reject the other. Occasionally, a romantic relationship even arises from what started as a friendship.

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To deepen a friendship (or family relationship), use a little of what you now know about the healthy reasons people fall in love. Tell the other person you like them. And don’t hesitate to share an intense experience—go through an ordeal together, work on a project, be a team.

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You’ll also share self-disclosures. When these are mutual and appropriate, they’re the fastest route to closeness.

--

Actually, often it’s the non-HSP who finds us.

[foodvips]

A Therapeutic Coach Tells Us Why Exes Might Appear In Your Dreams (& What To Do About It)

Experts

A Therapeutic Coach Tells Us Why Exes Might Appear In Your Dreams (& What To Do About It)

Static Media / ShutterstockBy A. R. Hopkins|Sept. 22, 2023 11:00 pm ESTWhether you've recently gone through a breakup or haven't seen your ex in a decade, you've probably experienced the ick factor that comes with dreaming about at least one of your former partners. Even if you've managed to have a successful friendship with the ex who's popping up in your subconscious as you sleep, the experience can feel downright uncanny. If you have these dreams regularly, you might find yourself wondering what it all means and whether it reflects on your actual waking feelings.In order to get an accurate breakdown of the meaning of this all-too-common dream scenario, Glam spoke exclusively to Delphi Ellis of Helping You Sparkle. As a therapeutic coach and the author of "Answers in the Dark: Grief, Sleep and How Dreams Can Help You Heal," Ellis has a unique perspective on why people sometimes dream about partners from the past and what it might mean if you can't shake these nocturnal visits from your ex. 

What does it mean to dream of an ex?

fizkes/ShutterstockAccording to Delphi Ellis, there's no singular cause of dreams about exes. However, the phenomenon tends to boil down to one of three themes. The first? Not understanding what happened during the relationship or surrounding the breakup. "Unfinished business can sometimes show up in our dreams because we still feel we're owed an apology," she exclusively tells Glam. "Sometimes, our dreams give us the 'sorry' we never got, or we can give the apology we never got the chance to give."Second is the possibility that you were recently exposed to something that your brain still associates with your ex, like a favorite song, movie, or food. Finally, there's the chance that your current relationship is triggering anxieties associated with the previous one. For example, Ellis points out that this could be "a fear that if an ex-partner cheated, it will happen again."

How to process dreams of a former partner

Ahmani Vidal/Getty ImagesThe only person who can truly interpret the dreams of your ex with complete accuracy is you. If you really want to become acquainted with your own subconscious, Delphi Ellis recommends writing down your dreams in a dream journal. "Keeping a dream diary can be key to understanding our dreams because it helps us spot patterns," she exclusively tells us. "If you're able to correlate what happened during the day with what showed up at night, it makes translating them a lot easier."Ellis insists that dreaming about an ex doesn't mean that you aren't happy in your new relationship or that you should reach out to the ex in question. "People sometimes have these dreams because they're so happy," she explains, "but the dream perhaps reflects a fear that something could go wrong." She then reiterates that she doesn't recommend reaching out to an ex just because you've been dreaming about them. "Do the work of understanding why, rather than making it about them," she advises. Ultimately, our dreams appear to be ways of looking out for ourselves, and this is no different when it comes to past relationships. Read the full article

[godraet]

غُدْرَت

ɢod̪ˈɾæt̪ʰ — ( n. ) power.

padishah ganondorf dragmire of the legend of zelda franchise.

a study of [ . . . ] divinity and kingship in its purest form, endless lifetimes, forging your own soul, breaking the cycle.

by percival (30+, he/him). mutuals only!

affiliated with [ . . . ] @salesduo ╱ @perditos ╱ tba

⎛ ₁ legend. ₂ verses. ₃ dynamics. ⎠

rules under readmore!

𝐨𝐧𝐞. #GODRAET is an independent, private, highly selective and mutuals exclusive writing blog for ganondorf dragmire of the legend of zelda franchise. its my sacred duty now to rewrite TotK and also cherrypick from every other iteration so i am doing just that!

this blog is 18+. please do not follow me if you are under 18!

on this note, this blog will feature dark and triggering themes. gan's entire story is a whole mess and he chooses violence very often! i will make sure to tag these things with the format of #trigger so that they can be filtered out!

𝐭���𝐨. shipping is not the priority here- but for reference, gan likes women or fem-leaning individuals; in general what he likes is femme because he associates femme with familiarity and also strength, for real what else would anyone expect.

if shipping happens, it will require a LOT of plotting and will not be with any mun or muse under the age of 21.

i am very open to other sorts of bonds, though! because it isn't just romance when people talk about ships- i am open to seeing how things go nonetheless!

i should also note that i will accept mains and exclusives!

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞. please DO tag #trypophobia for me, it makes my brain do big bad.

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫. i am known for writing metas across the blogs i have. in the wise words of a friend:

with this in mind, the metas i write are portrayal specific to this blog, so please give them a read! i know i can be rather wordy- anyone who has followed me elsewhere may know this, but for my first time followers, worldbuilding is one of my favorite things to do. i am particularly fond of analysis of character psychology.

𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞. to the point above, i do have other blogs! and i have no organizational skill so im all over the place ... and i have a job that steals my energy

and by this, i mean i work 32-40 hours as a registered nurse in an inpatient psychiatric unit. i am busy, i am tired, and i can't keep letting my focus go all over the place. inevitably, it still may do that because i have a tendency to be scattered, so if i don't get to something immediately, it isn't you, it's me!

also related to that, i do love communication! i struggle with reading the room (it's the Autism tm) and so if something's up or if you're bothered, please be direct with me! i will not take offense, i quite appreciate feedback so that i can be better as a person! in return, i will communicate back! i am learning to curate my space (after 10+ years of being on tumblr).

𝐬𝐢𝐱. there are people i won't interact with due to various reasons- my dni list is on the carrd of my other blogs. i won't interact with genderbent versions of characters, people who are Real Life Individuals (not counting fictional depictions like in the typemoon franchise or whatnot because those really have nothing to do with the actual individual they're supposedly based on?).

please stay far away from me if you fall under the following categories (i'm censoring things because god knows tumblr just picks shit up idk): proshipping, writing inc*st, p*dophilia, r*pe/n*ncon, are transphobic/homophobic- the usual gross behavior! use your moral compass!

on top of that, i am a firm believer that we learn from the media around us. full censorship is just as dangerous as the aforementioned things- the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows! please refer to this post which essentially summarizes the gist of what i'm trying to explain.

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧. anyway, hello, i'm percival. i am 30+ and use he/him pronouns exclusively! i am a hobby artist (it's my side-gig from nursing) and sometimes i post my art, tagged #whats my art tag considering i constantly forget my art tag if it's fancy. please do not repost my art without my permission.

mutuals, feel free to ask me for my discord, since i am much easier to reach there!

i look forward to writing with you!

[chdarling]

Hey CH! Is the TLE 2 playlist in a particular sequence (like the fifth song for the fifth chapter) or is it somewhat random?

PS : Is family line from Sirius Or Regulus pov? Father and son is definitely Fleamont. I'm still somewhat confused about Astronomy (It gives me wolfstar vibes)

Hi! The songs are in order of the story progression, but they are not laid out exactly chapter by chapter. Some chapters have more than one song, some chapters don’t have any. And some songs can be interpreted to apply to multiple characters. I think “Family Line” could work for either Black brother, but it was meant for Sirius, and in the track order, it roughly lines up with Chapter 15, Glitter and Gold, when Sirius learns about his inheritance.

Astronomy is an interesting one because I had multiple characters/relationships in mind when I added it. It does have wolfstar vibes! In the context of the track list, it takes place during the Christmas party — specifically Lily sitting on the stairs after overhearing James berating Severus, and Severus coming upon her. (Chapter 33, My Old Friend Felix) In my mind, the song is about Severus and Lily’s dying (dead) friendship.

I love the beginning of the song, two kids against the world:

We drive through the woods, rich neighborhoods to watch

We joked as we looked that they were too good for us

'Cause socially speaking, we were the same

And then of course this part is Severus regretting the demise of their friendship:

From far away, I wish I'd stayed with you

But here, face to face, a stranger that I once knew

And I particularly like the chorus

We've traveled the seas, we've ridden the stars

We've seen everything from Saturn to Mars

As much as it seems like you own my heart

It's astronomy, we're two worlds apart

and how it visually relates to this passage:

Lily looked away, her gaze falling back to the enormous oak doors that dominated the entrance hall directly across the stairs. For the tick of one torturous minute, Severus thought she was going to ignore him entirely, as she’d done for so many months now…but then, without looking at him, she said: “D’you remember the first time we walked through those doors?”

He did. How could he ever forget? It was the most consequential day of his life, the day he finally caught up with destiny. He remembered everything about it. The train ride from London with Lily, the little boats they took across the lake, the riotous stars glittering in their galaxies above…Severus had never seen such stars. The skies over Cokeworth had long been blotted out by industry. He’d thrown his head back as they sailed across the lake, smooth and glassy as obsidian, marveling at the constellations above, as though he might read this day, his destiny, written in the heavens alongside the tales of other great legends and heroes.

But I also like this song for that moment, because the lines “as much as it seems like you own my heart / it’s astronomy, we’re two worlds apart” could also be Lily in that moment reflecting on James. She’s admitted her crush (to herself) but he’s just revealed that he has really shitty classist views towards Severus, which also apply to her and she’s thinking about how different they are, how they will always live in two different worlds, etc…

ANYWAY! I got carried away lmao. I could probably write an essay for every song on that playlist, I’ve thought about this so much 🙈🙈🙈

[earnestly-endlessly]

I love your fic recs! Do you have any with Protective!Erik?

Protective! Erik is one of my favourite tropes so I have a TON of fics to share with you. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Protective! Erik fic recs

Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Saving the Universe By Meeting Your Soul-Mate and Falling in Love in Less than 72 Hours – madneto, Pangea

Summary: Army Pilot Erik Lehnsherr is just trying to enjoy his day off when a mostly naked person crashes through the roof of his car. Even more alarming, the strange falling naked person—who goes by Charles Xavier when he's not speaking an ancient dead language—brings tidings of the apparent potential end of the world, and begs Erik to help him put a stop to it.

Well. His mother has been nagging at him to go out and meet new people.

In Sound and Silence – endingthemes

Summary: Erik is assigned to care for the special patient in room 301.

How Not To Meet Your Future Boyfriend – ikeracity

Summary: Erik punches Charles in the face the first time they meet. There isn't anywhere their relationship can go from there but up.

Forgotten – FuryRed

Summary: Charles is having a really bad day. Not only has he woken up in the middle of the afternoon with no idea where he is or how he got there, but when he returns home he’s confronted by a stranger with intense eyes, who insists that he knows Charles rather more intimately than Charles remembers…

Thou Shalt Not Eat Stones – valancysnaith

Summary: Two months after Washington, Raven found Erik in a skeevy motel off the Florida interstate.

“They have Charles, Erik,” she said.

The bedframe shrieked. In the bathroom, the showerhead snapped in half and clattered into the tub.

Demoted – JayPendragon

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a detective-specialist with the NYPD Mutant Tactical Unit, ready to help out where his skills are needed. Or he would be, if he and his partner hadn’t been demoted. For the next four months, he is patrolling the Lenox Hill precinct with Azazel – if he doesn’t die of boredom first. One night they are called in to investigate a potential case of domestic violence, yet the tenant assures them he is both alone and unharmed. However, there is something about this Charles Xavier that compels Erik to follow up.

Warning: Sensitive material, domestic abuse and dubious consent

Watch Your Back – swoopswoop

Summary: Bodyguard AU where Erik is overly protective and things aren't as simple as they seem.

If We Met Differently – swoopswoop

Summary: Erik wasn't the only mutant 'taken in' by Shaw, Erik learns this the hard way when a new mutant is dropped into his cell. They manage to escape together, but things aren't all roses after that. Erik has a score to settle and needs to make sure Charles is safe.

The Color of Love (Character Swap Remix) – BadLuckBlueEyes

Summary: Nobody sees in color until they meet their soulmates. When your soulmate dies, your vision returns to black and white. What happens when your soulmate only dies for a few minutes?

Omega Online – miss_aphelion

Summary: Newly imprinted Charles is having trouble dealing with his overly protective alpha—so in desperation he seeks advice in an omega chat room. Emma Frost is more than happy to help, Raven isn't helping at all, and Erik can't stand to be out of touch with Charles for more than five minutes at a time.

Cannot be Contained in Words – wallhaditcoming (uvcatastrophe) 

Summary: Crime syndicate head Erik Lehnsherr travels to London on business, where he meets oxford student Charles Xavier. Their liaison spawns into a years long transatlantic affair, kept apart by Erik's work and Charles' studies,which Erik chronicles in photographs. When distance ceases to be an issue after four long years, the overlap between Charles' past and Erik's work create a whole new set of complications.

A Pertinent Reminder – ikeracity, Pangea

Summary: Sometimes it's easy to forget that getting involved in Erik's mob business isn't all fine dining and sex on yachts. There's nothing like taking a couple of bullets to remind Charles of the reality.

Part 3 of the Associates series

A Dangerous Game – ikeracity, pangea

Summary: When a familiar enemy of Erik's returns to the city for some old-fashioned revenge, Charles is sucked deeper into the world of the mob than ever before.

Part 6 of the Associates series

You don’t choose the thug life (except when you do) – Anonymous

Summary: Charles is kidnapped and discovers that Erik, the Alpha he has been dating for the past few months and is head-over-heels for, is not just a wealthy businessman but actually the head of a syndicate.

He is rather unhappy about this discovery and Erik gets an earful for lying to him. Then Charles is kidnapped again and really, he hopes mating Erik won't result in weekly kidnapping because he has a thesis to finish and papers to grade.

Marrying a Mob – Ook

Summary: Charles is a teacher at a very exclusive school. When armed men burst in on the trail of two children, of course he stands up to them and gets hurt. The children are Erik Lehnsherr's children (of course); a "prominent businessman" or, less politely, "mobster".

Erik is grateful to Charles for saving his children's lives at the cost of his kneecap. So very grateful.

Naturally he tries to reward Charles for his actions. Equally naturally, Charles will be having none of that.

Azazel finds the whole thing unspeakably hilarious. Naturally.

Rumor Has It – blueink3

Summary: "Did I hear the doorbell earlier?"

"Yeah, but I'd steer clear if I were you. It seemed a little tense. I don't know what's going on, but there's a kid out there who looks freakily like the prof."

Nearly six months after Cuba, Charles' life is turned upside down for the second time. Though he's slowly learning to adapt to the first, he's not sure he can handle the second. Luckily for him, there are a few people out there more than willing to help.

Forward Momentum – AsYouWish

Summary: Six months after Cuba, Charles and Erik find themselves thrown fifty years into the future, where they meet their older selves, the Avengers, and a world that's very different from their own. Faced with the pieces of their broken relationship, an unparalleled adversary, and dealing with Tony Stark on a daily basis, Charles and Erik do their best to adapt while trying to find a way back home -- and to each other.

Runs in the Family – Anonysquirrel (chibirisuchan)

Summary: Alex knew his own reputation. Hell, he'd started some of his own reputation, because it kept some of the smarter thugs off his back. Everyone knew Alex's reputation. There was no way Hank didn't know his reputation, but he'd brought Alex into a house with some really expensive things and a lot of innocent little kids and his too-friendly, too-harmless dad.

But clearly Hank hadn't told his family anything about Alex, just like he hadn't told Alex anything about his family. At least, not about the brain-breaking parts of his family.

"I didn't know where to start," Hank said, for the dozenth time.

Featuring mpreg!Charles in a Kiss The Cook apron, overprotective!Erik in wet black leather, and baked goods. Lots and lots of baked goods.

Round the Corner Waiting – swoopswoop

Summary: When things go so spectacularly wrong during a relationship, Charles - now a single dad - almost makes a big mistake, only to be stopped by a mysterious man who just might turn his life back around.

Hide Your Fires – swoopswoop

Summary: As the sole heir, Prince Charles, had no problem with the roles and responsibility that would come with ruling a kingdom. Though he was the only one who did not see a problem. After years of being shuttled back and forth between kingdoms, his Regent hoping he would find a match more suitable to being King, he is finally sent to Genosha. Though the path has never been less clear than the one to a foreign kingdom with no ties to his native land.

Shaw’s Captive – swoopswoop

Summary: Magneto killed Shaw, it had to be done for the sake of mutant-kind but what he wasn't expecting to find hidden deep with Shaw's complex was a man held captive, obviously tortured, that somehow made Magneto turn into Erik.

Erik now has a potential human in his citadel as he continues the war with the human's.

Mind’s Eye Blind – Sperare 

Summary: As far as Erik is concerned, if you want to scare a person into talking, you have to present him with something more compelling than what he stands to lose...

And there is nothing in the world more compelling than Charles.

Chipped – Rosawyn 

Summary: Magneto's fledgling Brotherhood find Charles Xavier in a mutations research lab as an apparently willing subject for an experimental suppression device.

Okay, I Feel Better Now – Harleydoll

Summary: The AU in which Erik is sent to a mental health facility after being convicted for Shaw's murder and pleads insanity, and Charles is his paranoid schizophrenic of a roommate. Powers, Hellfire conspiracies, protective!Erik, and of course the inevitable angst.

Five Nights in Nuremberg – FuryRed

Summary: When Charles escapes from the mutant prison he has been held in for the last two years he knows that he’s going to need help to avoid being recaptured.

What he doesn’t expect is that help will come in the form of a mysterious German man who rescues Charles and takes him to his home; a handsome stranger who, frustratingly, doesn’t speak a single word of English…

Five Bullet Points – Sperare

Summary: It was supposed to be Erik locked away in a prison one hundred stories below the ground.

Charles was never supposed to be there with him.

Notes: Unfinished but an excellent read. Highly recommend it.

Stolen – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is a miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, and he has every fucking right to be. He drew the short end of the stick when he got the Underworld as his domain, and there isn't very much fun to be had in judging and governing dead souls who would rather be anywhere else but with Erik in the depths of Hell.

So when he meets Charles, brilliant and lovely Charles who is more popularly known amongst the mortals as Persephone, and feels the promise of something wonderful that could make his eternally doomed existence infinitely more bearable... you can bet all your drachmas Erik's not going to let Charles go any fucking time soon.

My Barbaric Darling – baehj2915

Summary: Erik is revivified caveman. Charles is the anthropologist(?) taking care of him. This is as ridiculous as it sounds. Romcom misunderstandings and prehistoric wooing ensues.

Swimming with Sharks – Not_You

Summary: Erik used to be a shark. Now he's not, and has to figure out how to be a good human father to his twins. Charles is willing to help.

Eucalyptus leaf of my soul - kageillusionz, ourgirlfriday

Summary: Zookeeper Raven at Taronga Zoo keeps having ideas on how to capitalize on interest in the zoo mascots, Koala Charles and Drop Bear Erik (the only drop bear in captivity!), who have captured the hearts and minds of the public. First it was to introduce prospective mates (It’ll generate attention, Hank. People are perverts. They’d love to see koala porn.). This idea was not effective the first through fifth attempts, as Erik and Charles seemed to show at best polite interest in the newcomer before resuming whatever marsupial debate they had going. However, the resulting lesbian koala orgies did indeed generate interest. Then Raven unveiled the Hug-A-Koala program, which was successful, as the public showed great interest in hugging Charles, and Charles seemed to enjoy being hugged.

Then Raven unveiled the Hug-A-Drop Bear program, and Hank, not for the first time, wished he had a flask handy.

Notes: Yes, they’re Koalas, yes they’re adorable, and yes, Erik is super protective even as a Drop Bear.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Hi, if you're comfortable sharing, you mentioned the symptoms of your mom's TBI were very similar to your own. I was wondering if you could go into what similarities you noticed, if you're okay with it (apologies if you've already answered this). I've had several concussions/TBIs throughout the years and also struggle with psychosis/psychosis-adjacent symptoms but I had no idea there could be a link. I've never had any official diagnosis for psychotic experiences or schizophrenia, partially because I've always been afraid to discuss it with bad therapists in the past, but much of what I've read from people who experience those things matches what sometimes happens with me and now I'm wondering if it's more related to the TBIs than being schizophrenia "proper", for lack of a better term. No obligations to answer this if of course and I hope your mother recovers as swiftly as she can and without complications. Thanks for all you do here, you're one of my favorite blogs because you don't lean into that toxic positivity BS.

I know most people immediately think of psychosis when they hear the word schizophrenia, but none of the symptoms me and my mom have in common after she aquired her traumatic brain injury are related to psychosis. I actually haven't experienced psychotic symptoms myself in years due to effective antipsychotic treatment and my mom hasn't experienced psychosis at all. So when I say we have experiences in common, I'm exclusively talking about cognitive symptoms. As in struggles with concentration, memory, executive functioning, processing, learning, working memory, etc. Such symptoms are common as a consequence of both TBIs and schizophrenia, even though most people don't associate them with schizophrenia. So that's all I'm referring to when I say we now have many experiences in common. I'm not talking about psychosis.

[sevensided]

how did you get into writing fic? i'd love to start but idk even where to begin! I loved adats so I was wondering do you have any advice?

Oh my goodness! I am so flattered you’ve asked me this. Yes, I can absolutely help. I’ll throw a bunch of rambling under the cut.

I started writing fic probably when I was... sixteen years old? A lot of my early works were oneshots. I couldn’t figure out how to do anything plot heavy for the life of me, so I just stuck to AUs or whatever I felt like. I wasn’t in any particular fandom -- I really wrote whatever I had ideas for. I remember I tried once to do a plot-heavy story and I received a review absolutely ripping it to shreds. Like, it was so cruel I cried lol. I ended up deleting the fic. Years later, I get what they were trying to say (basically, more substance, less style), but at the time it cut to the quick. Really, it was only when I was in my twenties that I started writing work that was longer and/or better.

The fandom that helped me actually write plot heavy work was a historical-based fandom. As I’m a historian, it was perfect. I got to use my research skills and knowledge to create works that, above all, aimed to feel authentic. I mainly read historical fiction, so I was familiar with how that genre worked. Miraculously, people loved my work. I think I wrote about ~200k in the period of a year? These were several short stories (20-40k) and a few oneshot filler fics. While I was part of this fandom I also helped organise a Big Bang which was a lot of hard work but was extremely rewarding. Along with that, I interacted mainly with other fic writers, so I spent a lot of time chatting to people about ideas and encouraging other writers, and it just created a lovely medley where no concept was impossible or any line of dialogue too difficult. We supported each other and it was truly like a little commune. I gradually stepped away from the fandom mainly because it was just a part of my life at a very specific time, and almost as soon as that time was over, my love for that story/ship faded, but I firmly believe I figured out a lot of how/what I do now purely through that experience.

Regarding ADATS

With ADATS, it stemmed entirely from wanting to “explain” three months in canon (at the end of season three). I was interested in the idea of season four setting up Will/Mike in canon, and I wanted to test the source material to see if I could draw from what already existed to create something authentic. I began with that simple idea: what happened from July to October in 1985? Then I thought about the major themes I wanted to hit -- family, friendship, coming of age, sexuality -- and I nested them around the bigger concept: how do I get Mike from being ostensibly straight to realising he is gay? That meant thinking of two steps: Mike discovering his attraction to guys; Mike discovering his attraction to Will. Those two concepts were separate “arcs” that needed addressing in different ways. Balance was key to weaving them together and making the reader feel like they knew what was coming (and that they felt smart for putting the pieces together) without just rushing through and going “now kiss!” That’s partly why ADATS needs a sequel, lol: because it’s not finished!

Writing process

The first thing I do when I start to get an idea is I write it down. Sounds obvious. But when you have a killer line of dialogue come to you in the shower and you think “I’ll remember that” -- reader, you will not remember it. You gotta get it down ASAP! I do that the whole way through, as generally I’ll be thinking of scenes I’m stuck on and then it’ll just come to me and I’ll quickly jot it down.

The next thing -- or what I do in the meantime -- is start structuring. I plan. I try to plan a lot. Sometimes it’s okay to write “and something happens here to get them here”, because you’ll figure it out later, but for the most part I’ve discovered that planning is like gold and you can’t get enough of it. I break my work up into generally 3-4 parts/sections, and I treat each section like a mini story. So each part needs a conflict and resolution, and it needs to flow into the next section. You need to have a feeling of things evolving and maturing. Once I’ve planned those little bits, I start thinking about the bigger plot arc and how I can drop in hints along the way. I’m probably not a subtle or skilled enough writer to yet pull off that sort of gasping twist you get in really excellent books, but I’m trying to get there. It’s hard, is what I’m trying to say, but that’s okay, because we’re all learning.

Then I generally do aesthetic stuff. Sounds stupid, probably. But nothing helps me get more into a mood than doing a Pinterest board or -- most of all -- making a Spotify mix. I start thinking about the vibe and the general atmosphere, and then I almost exclusively listen to that mix when I’m working. Sort of like muscle memory? Just to get the creative juices associated with that particular selection of songs.

Another thing I’ll do along with plot structure is character structure. This is a biggie. I mean, a story is nothing without characters. So I’ll just jot down a bunch of bullet points of characters and particular aspects that I want to highlight or remember. I hate continuity errors in fiction. Like, if someone says they work on Maple Street but later in the fic they’re working on Pine Street. I hate that. So I keep note of specific things that my main character might notice at repeated points in the story (colours, places, smells, names, sounds -- so they’re all consistent even as the narrative evolves). That’s another thing -- your characters’ motivations. Not everyone is going to be a huge player, but they all do serve a purpose. The most important character is obviously your main character. I personally think it’s important to let your M.C. be an arse at times. They’re going to be mean, they’re going to misinterpret things or fly off the handle... just let��‘em. Let them be wretched humans, and then bring them back and make them realise what they’ve done. Let them learn! I love consequences in fiction, lol.

At the same time, I’ll probably start writing. We’ve already written down some snippets of neat dialogue or descriptions, but now we should start the actual process. For me, I used to start at the beginning. Usually this was the most fleshed out anyway: I’ll have a clear idea of the beginning and the end, but nothing in the middle. These days, if I have a scene in mind that I can’t forget, I’ll just write it. It will possibly get scrapped or rewritten, but that’s okay, because at least you’ve got it down and now you can devote your brain power to something useful (like figuring out what the middle is supposed to be). I’ll have half a dozen of totally out of context scenes just littered in my Word document that I’ll add to as I go along. Eventually, though, you’re going to start writing properly, and that’s when you write your opening scene.

Opening scenes: super important. Every time I write a scene I think: what is the point of this? What do I want the reader to learn or takeaway? Sometimes you do have filler scenes, but they also serve a different purpose (perhaps to establish a group dynamic or to explore/describe a character’s surroundings). Mainly, though, every scene should push something forward in some way, whether it’s character development or a plot point. So, with an opening scene, I always think you have to establish: where you are; who you are; what they are doing; where they’ve come from (in a philosophical and practical sense); and where they’re going (ditto). That doesn’t have to happen in the first paragraph -- that would be silly. But if you sprinkle that information in over time it’ll gradually build up a picture of your character and that way the reader can get an idea of who they are. You basically need to give a snapshot of what your story is about. This also goes back to the character creator stuff: where they are at the start should be different to where they end up. How that happens is, of course, because of plot, and because you’ve structured everything to the nth degree, we’ve got a very clear progression of that character’s growth (/s easier said than done lol).

General advice

Write down everything: every idea, a bit of dialogue, a description, whatever. Write it down. Doesn’t have to be neat. Just has to be on paper. You can’t remember everything, so if you’re spending time trying to hold those things in your head, it’s taking up space for new ideas to come along.

Structure, plan, structure, plan. Sometimes it’s boring and I hate it. Other times, when I’ve not written in a few days and I open the Word doc and think wtf is this supposed to be, I am very grateful for Past Me for leaving such detailed notes. Seriously, it helps so much. Oneshots don’t really need planning, in my experience. You just get those out there. But multi-chaptered stories really do, even ones that “just” focus on a relationship.

Whatever you want to write, commit to it. Space goblins invade Hawkins? Do it. Eleven and Max find themselves in a cult akin to Midsommar (2019) and must escape? Yes. Just... whatever you want to do, remember that you’re writing it for you. Write what most interests you, what makes you when you reread it go AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!! Because that makes it a thousand times easier to actually get on with the writing when you enjoy what you’re doing.

Write a lot. Every day, if you can, or at least at designated times. Occasionally I have a very specific headspace/vibe I have to be in, but sometimes it just hits me and I’ll say to my partner “I need to write now” and just disappear, lol. The more you write the more you write. It’s so, so, so true. Cannot emphasise this enough. When I wrote that ~200k in twelve months? It was because I literally wrote every. day. Or near enough. Remember that some days you’ll write 200 words, and other days you’ll write 20k (this happened to me with ADATS -- part of the reason I finished it so quickly was because I had sprints of writing 10k+ at a time that only happened because I was in the rhythm of it). Write, write, write. Who cares if it’s crap! No one will see it until you are ready. In the meantime, just write!

Probably last of all (although I could go on and on) is connect with other writers. If you’re struggling to start, sometimes just talking about it can help a huge amount. I hope it goes without saying that you can message me whenever you want, anon or not, and I will talk to you. We can talk about ideas or I can beta stuff, whatever you want! Find like-minded people and talk to them about what you want to do. Another thing this helps is in advertising your work when you do publish. I see a lot of first time fic writers get super down because they publish their magnum opus on AO3 but no one comments. Honestly, it’s because no one knows you’ve published! You don’t have to be tooting your own horn every which way, but just actively talking about your work and even collaborating with other content creators with get you hyped and other people too (and the input and encouragement other fandom members give is just... out of this world. Anon messages helped me finish ADATS when I was really worried I wouldn’t [that’s the truth]. Seriously, support is everything). When you have people excited about your work, you get excited. It’s really as simple as that.

I could go on but this is already horrendously long. I hope even a bit of this helps! If you want to chat or have any more questions, just hit me up any time.

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

Don’t worry, I can understand what you mean 99% of the time despite your, what do we call it? Distinctive way of typing? Hahah <3

The people that know you and follow you know that you’re not homophobic. I’m sorry for all the ace erasure you get from the haters. These people have no conception of the nuances within the LGBTQ+ community and they certainly don’t respect everything that community stands for. All they care about is their fanon wlw ship. Screw the canon lesbian and trans representation - it’s all about their otp. And if it’s not, they don’t want it.

(Also I see that fraud dovess still somehow hasn’t been banned yet. How many times do we have to report them? Lol)

Thanks, it's always nice to interact with people who actually have working brains. Lol, yes, distinctive way of typing that saved my ass not so long ago xD

You know what is sad? I seriously believe all people should have the same rights and we are all equal - fucking obvious stuff - all law and other shit included and the fact people are discriminated because of sexuality is simply fucked up.

And then I'm called a homophobe because I don't like Kara and Lobotomizer being a romantic couple. Not because they both are women but because Lena abused Kara and basically was a shitty friend since the beginning and yes, her fucked up stans who are hard ass hypocrites made me hate the Walmart Witch too - good job, assholes!

But the worst thing is, that every time I talk to them online and I see the lgbt flag on their profiles, while them saying the total bullshit and calling other homophobes, you know, my brain want to generalize all of them. Afer a second ot logical thinking I erase this thought, but you know.

And this is their fucking doings. Because the associated sexualities with fictional ship and fictional character that is not even a part of rep. I hear all alarms in my head when i see people with Lobotomizer and lgbt flag on their profiles. All kind of wanrings are flashing in my head and "here we go again". Sometimes i wonder if they are aware what they are doing. That they basically make people who are supportive questioning some stuff. Even when they aware it's not logical.

Good for them, I guess, for being ME ME ME ME ME ME!!! while actually ignoring the opportunity to make a difference and support somethign bigger than their asses.

Sorry for all lgbt scs who don't support this type of behavior but I get this vibe from the idiots.

And hey, stalkers, go fuck yourselves.

You know, the ace erasure is quite funny in a way. A minority that is opressed and hated by many is hateful and exclusive toward part of itself. Aces are straight, bisexual are traitors, trans are fake. Geez, I seriously don't get humanity sometimes.

Speaking for myself and only for myself, I am ace but I don't feel like a part of the lgbt community, because of many reasons, partially because I rarely feel as a part of something or need to be as a part of something, but in a way because I'm tired of the neverending "you can't be part because we are better than you, you didn't suffer enough, your problems are not that big, blah blah blah".

But whatever, sorry for ranting.

(Yeah, bitch is still there, I tried the old good way aka talking and trying to make her say shit that violates twitter rules so i can report her ass, so we will see. But pretty sure she is like a cockroach and will be back, even if suspended)

[absolutepx]

So I've been playing Death Stranding lately. Wait, that's not what this post is about. Well, it kind of is. Hang on. What is Death Stranding about?

A: Norman Reedus getting bare ass naked B. Sneaking around ghosts with the help of your sidekick, an actual baby C: Carrying 50 Amazon packages up a hill while trying to not topple over D: Waking up in the morning and drinking 5 Monster Energy™ for breakfast

For those following along at home, the answer is actually none of the above. Despite the set dressing being bizarre to the point of near absurdity, what the game is actually about, like thematically, is actually really simple.

See, the development of Death Stranding was actually quite a trip. Hideo Kojima is the video game world's equivalent of an auteur director. He has a very recognizable personal style. It's thoroughly horny – he caught a bunch of shit for the design of Quiet in MGSV, but like, a lot of Kojima characters are just -like that-, including the dudes. Also, this is going to possibly be important later.

Anyway, so Kojima was going to do a rebootmakequel of Silent Hill, and the demo actually made it to the PS store and I could actually write a whole side essay about why P.T. (it was called P.T. for some reason btw) was brilliant game design for how it used the same hallway over and over and it was somehow beneficial to the overall feeling of horror. So Konami it turns out kinda sucks nowadays and they like, fired Kojima (they were huge dicks about it behind closed doors, too) and scrapped the project and kicked him out on the street and kept the Metal Gear series which was his baby (literally the baby in the sink in P.T., he snuck a bunch of messaging about the Konami situation into the demo like a breakup album) and Kojima would go on to form his own studio and poach some of the people who worked with him to boot. So the thing about Kojima is this: he's got a reputation for already putting some wild shit in his games, like a ladder that takes like 10 real time minutes to climb in MGS3 for dramatic effect, and a boss in MGS3 that summons the ghosts of all the people you were too lazy to stealth past and killed, or a sniper battle with a really old guy that he wanted to have last two weeks or some shit until he died of old age but he was "told that "this was impossible and not recommended." That is a real quote I just looked up. So he's coming off the heels of making this hugely successful game with MGSV and the hype of the P.T. Demo and he fucking, he like took all the people that were going to be working on P.T. Along like Guillermo Del Toro was going to co-write it and Norman Reedus was going to star in it, and he's like, I'm going to make this game called Death Stranding. And the first trailer comes out for it and it's completely nuts. Norman Reedus wakes up naked on a beach crying with a baby and there are floating people in the sky? So we're all like hooooooly shit, there's no one to tell him "this is impossible and not recommended" anymore. What's he going to make now!?

So the whole time the game is in development I keep seeing these tweets where it'll be like, Kojima and one of his homies smiling with some saccharine message about being spiritual warriors and changing the world. And not just Del Toro and Reedus, there was Mads Mikkelsen (another guy Kojima puts in the game just because he apparently loves him), and the band Chvches, and also like, Keanu Reeves at one point? You know how everyone has just kind of accepted that Keanu is a being of light? Here he was endorsing Kojima. The hype was pretty confused and frantic.

The game eventually comes out. A lot of game journos hate it because I think there was this expectation it was going to be, you know, less weird and have more of the conventional structure of a video game. That's not to say the average gamer wasn't also dismissive of it, but I think on the ground level there was more of an understanding that like, yeah, Kojima just be like that sometimes.

Because the game was a timed console exclusive and your homie don't play like that, I spent the first year or so cautiously viewing Death Stranding from a distance. I wasn't sure I was going to like it – except for being really impressed with P.T., I wasn't actually a big fan of Kojima's games as games – but I -was- sure that I was going to buy it, because of the way Konami fucked him over, just out of support. And the shit I was hearing was really out there. The primary mode of gameplay is just delivery packages. You collect Norman Reedus' bathwater and pee and use it as grenades. You get a motorcycle that looks like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus, and when you sit on it, his character in the game says "Wow, this thing is like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus!"

But I didn't really want to know that much about it. Something has that much fucking crazy person energy, you want to go in mostly blind, right? So maybe people just weren't talking about this, or maybe I wasn't seeing it, but then I watched Girlfriend Reviews' video about it and they came right out and said it (link provided if you want to hear Shelby say it more articulately than me):

Death Stranding is basically about the exact opposite of Twitter. It's about remembering how to be kind to each other, how to reconnect in a world where people are so often hostile to each other by default. Prophetically, it's about a world where people are afraid to go outside or touch other people and how damaging that is. It's not a game about carrying packages, it's a game about helping people by being brave enough to walk through a wasteland carrying their burdens because they can't. It's about rebuilding the lost connections between people, about restoring roads and giving people hope. I bet, for Kojima and the people close to him, it's about how to answer hostility with compassion. You can't kill people in Death Stranding. You can and are absolutely encouraged to fucking throw hands with people sometimes, but all the tools and weapons are nonlethal. So I think Kojima took all the Twitter heat he got over the Quiet nontroversy, and all the feelings of isolation he had from Konami separating him from his team during the end of the development of MGSV, and all the support and encouragement he got from his bros Del Toro and Mads and the rest, and decided to channel that into making a game that was a statement about all of it. And sure, it's a little heavy handed, and sure, it's a little saccharine, and sure, the gameplay sometimes borders on miserable in service of creating emotional payoffs. For me, especially in 2020, this message is a huge success. Social media should be an opportunity for all of us to feel more connected to each other, yet primarily it feels like one of the main forces driving people apart. Why is that? Why is the internet of today such a hostile place? I'm old enough to remember web 1.0: I can haz cheezburger memes; YTMND; the early wild west days of Youtube... What happened to us? I've thrown the blame at Twitter in the past, and I think the architecture of the user experience on Twitter is absolutely a big piece of the puzzle, because it fosters negative interactions. But in terms of the behavior, people have observed that 2018 Twitter was actually almost exactly like 2014 Tumblr. (For the record, Tumblr is now one of the chillest places left on the internet, because so few fucks are left to give.)

I think part of it is the anonymity. The dehumanizing disconnection of the separation of screens and miles. Louis CK, before he was cancelled, had a great point about cyberbullying, and why it's so much more savage than kids are IRL. When you pick on someone in person and you are confronted with seeing the pain you caused them, for most sane people it causes negative feedback and you become disgusted with your actions and eventually learn to stop being a shithead. Online, at best you can "break the wrist, walk away".

At worst, you can become addicted to "clout chasing" and the psychological thrill of being cheered on by your social ingroup. It's even worse if you feel like it's not bullying and your actions are justified because whoever you've targeted is a bad person so you don't have to feel bad about what you do to them. This is where reductive, unhelpful catchphrases like "punch a nazi" come in. For every argument, one or both sides have convinced themselves that the other side is subhuman because their beliefs are so disgusting. And sometimes it's even true! A lot of times, especially these days, people really are acting like animals or worse online. Entire disinformation engines are roaring day and night, churning out garbage and cluttering the social consciousness. (Kojima talked about this bit, too, way back in MGS2. As if I wasn't already in danger of losing my thread through this.)

The human brain was not built to live like this. You can't wake up every morning, roll over and open your phone, and be immediately faced with a tidal wave of anger and indignity. It wasn't built to be aware of fully how horrible the world is at any moment ALL AT ONCE, ALL THE TIME. And you will be. Because of another way that our brain works – the way we are more likely to share negative opinions. And because of the cottage industry built on farming outrage clicks, and because of constant performative activism.

It's not that I don't agree that being informed is important.

It's not that I don't agree that the causes people get riled up about are important.

They are. They absolutely are.

But we can't keep living like this. The constant, unending flood of tragedy, arguments, and hot takes. How much of the negativity we associate with online culture is the product of this feedback loop? What if the rise of doomer culture has been, if not entirely created by, has been nourished and exacerbated by our hostile attitudes toward each other?  Incels and TERFs, white supremacists, radfems, tankies and Trumpers – it seems like on every side of every issue, there are people simultaneously getting it wrong in multiple directions at once and there are more being radicalized every day. They are the toxic waste left behind by the state of discourse. And any hill is a hill worth dying on.

So what am I actually advocating? I don't know. There are a lot of fights going on right now that are important and we can't just climb into bunkers and ignore our problems hoping that Norman Reedus and his fine ass are going to leave the shit we need on our doorsteps. We need to find the strength to carry those hypothetical packages for ourselves sometimes - and hopefully, for others as well. Humans are social creatures. We need interaction and enrichment.

We need love.

So just try to remember the connections between humanity. Try to put more good stuff into the world when you can. Share more shitposts and memes. Tell your friends and family that you love them. Share good news when you hear it. Go on a weird fucking tangent about Death Stranding. Find a way to "be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes."

[ridetherain]

Febuwhump Day 3

Febuwhump Day 3: Imprisonment Alt 1: Truth Serum

Rating: G

Words: 1051

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Summary: Usually Link doesn't talk very much, but when he does...

He Said What?!

The Champions were all older than me. It rarely bothered me since I'm the Princess and my authority and worth come from places other than experience for all that I am associated with the Goddess of Wisdom. I choose to believe that my wisdom is established by my commitment to choosing such people as my advisors. Those who are older and wiser. Those who are currently getting drunk while I am sitting on a log by the fire, completely sober. I don't deny that they have earned the right to take time off and drink. I don't dislike that they did not offer me any alcohol - I would have refused since I am underage. So, I am not bothered by their age, the exclusion, their taking of a well-deserved break, or anything else I can think to blame. This means I am not bothered by the way that Urbosa and Daruk apparently have the same taste in bawdy tavern songs. Or that Mipha is trying to get into Link's pants again. Or that Link is so completely unaware of Mipha's attention that he is posturing with Revali without noticing that his flexing is attracting the eyes of the wrong bird.

I have seen Urbosa drunk many times. The festivals I've attended in Gerudo have ensured that I am proficient in the music she and Daruk are currently butchering. I could sing all five verses and I could probably give a passable performance of the accompanying dance. It would be almost funny to join in and see the look on everyone else's faces. I imagine that Daruk and Urbosa would find it funny. Revali would pretend that he didn't find it funny. Mipha would be horrified and Link would have kittens.

Assuming Link would even notice. He was talking tonight. That wasn't strictly speaking unusual since we have both been making more of an effort to be friends since our misadventure in the desert. I have been working on being more generous with him and he has been working on being more open with me. However, he's talking a lot.

"I've been practicing a lot with the bow, Rev," Link said in a rush, "I want to show you. I'm sure I could do better than last time. Come on, pick a target. I can do it."

"I don't know Link-" Revali started.

"-No, no, no. I'm serious!" Link said even faster, "I've gotten really good. I focus really, really hard just like you said. I can do this. Pick a target. I can do it."

Revali sighed a long-suffering sigh. "Maybe later. I'm on guard duty right now." He turned and slid cautiously onto the ground. He tipped slightly to the left where he sat. Maybe I should steal his arrows so he can't hurt anyone by accident.

Link looked upset for just a moment before his face cleared and he turned towards me.

"Zelda! Why are you sitting over there? You should come talk to me," Link said. He wasn't really slurring his words, but he wasn't as precise in his vowels as usual which just made his thick Faronian accent more difficult to decipher.

"Link, you are drunk," Mipha said gently, "Maybe you should take a break and let the Princess have some time to herself."

She tried unsuccessfully to take Link's glass away.

"Mipha! I didn't know you were here! No, give me that back. It's mine, get your own. Oh! You'll have to watch when Revali and I practice later. He's going to pick targets and I'm going to show him what I've learned!"

A nervous giggle tore out of Mipha's mouth, "You haven't changed at all since you were a child, Link. I'm going to talk Revali out of your nonsense."

She left us alone and Link watched her leave for a moment before turning to me.

"You know, I think she wants me to marry her. I don't think I'd like that very much. Do you think I should say yes anyway?" I was stunned. I was certain that Link didn't know that Mipha was interested in him. I was shocked he noticed her at all, honestly. Alcohol seemed to act as a sort of truth-telling elixir on Link so I shouldn't have been surprised by the next revelation out of his mouth.

"I met her when I was a baby, did you know that? She was literally my mother's midwife so I've really, really known her forever. I'm the same age as her little brother. I don't think I could marry my sister and Mipha is basically my sister. I don't think my mother would like it either. She thinks I should marry a nice girl from Hateno who's good at math. I'm hopeless at it and Ma says that math is important for keeping the books neat and orderly. You're all sciency, Princess, do you know a girl who is good at math? I could marry her and then I wouldn't have to tell Mipha that I don't want to marry my sister."

I sat in shocked silence for a moment. Link was in earnest and did not blink as he waited for my answer. I admit that my mouth was hanging open just a little. Who do you recommend when the boy you kind-of like asks which math-focused girl he can marry so he can get out of an uncomfortable conversation? One that is completely inappropriate, of course.

"Well... I like math." I had to get that out there even if it was too subtle for his drunken brain, "So I know lots of girls who are good at it. I think the best one is Urbosa. She keeps her whole city running smoothly and sometimes that means doing math."

A small pucker appeared between Link's eyebrows as he considers my suggestion.

"I don't think that will work, Princess," He says slowly, "I think she only likes other ladies and I think she might notice that I'm not a very good lady. Besides, she's the closest thing the Princess has to a mother these days and it would probably be weird to be in love with your wife's pseudo-daughter. Don't worry. I'll think of someone."

At that astonishing announcement, Link turned on wobbly legs and shouted for Revali to pick a target.