#sometimes ptsd just gotta remind you it exists especially when you deny it

[brothersgrim]

‘I LOVE YOU’ PROMPTS

HUSH : going into comfort mode

@teardownheaven​ asked:

HUSH for the deadman

He’s fine. He’s always fine. He has to be fine. He has to be fine! Shoulders tense, eyes closed, jaw tight, knuckles white against the blanket. He has to be fine.

Breath is forced in and out. It leaves a sour taste in his mouth. It hurts. His lungs protest being filled. He wills another inhale anyway. Every muscle is tight. Waiting. Waiting for... Something. He didn’t know what. But it was coming. It was coming, and it was going to hurt him, and he can’t stop it, and it’s his fault, and he can taste bile in his throat and something’s coming and it’s going to hurt him and it’s going to hurt Kane and he can’t stop it and he doesn’t fully realize how he made it to the en suite. The porcelain is cold against his arms and he empties his stomach into the toilet. He tells himself it’s the heat even though he’s freezing. Something he ate, though he wouldn’t mention that to Kane or Aeleus. Something he... No, he didn’t drink a lot anymore. Knew his limits. He’d only had the one beer after dinner. He swallowed, spat into the now-putrid water, rocked back on his haunches and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. He grips the seat for balance and squeezes his eyes shut. Wills himself to steady his breaths.

It’s not that easy.

Rustling beside him--

Tenses, lurches back against the wall-- Lights flickering over head--

“Hey, easy, darlin’.” A familiar baritone, even if he had to blink a few times to focus his eyes. “It’s only me. Just wanted to check on you, I... Didn’t mean to spook you.” A cloth was extended, warm and damp. He stared at it. Blinked again. Accepted it, scrubbed it along his mouth and chin, then half-heartedly rubbed at his hand.

“I’m fine.” He mumbles, looking at nothing in particular on the floor.

“I know.” Aeleus says, then, after a pause, “You wanna come back to bed?” The reaper exhales heavily and leans against the wall, tile cold and unfeeling against his cheek.

“Gimme a minute.”

“Okay.” Ael’s voice is soft. His steps are, too, as he moves away. ‘Taker doesn’t move. Makes himself keep breathing. Another beat, and then a silent nudge into the universe.

You awake?

Sort of. His brother’s voice, not heard, but felt, and it’s enough.

You okay?

Yeah. I’m okay.

No questions, no commotion. Kane understood. He always did. It’s a relief to ‘hear’. Still, though, he thinks he’s going to take a moment to rest here before he lies back down.

He’s fine.