#sometimes many things are confusing and you are just one rider

[surrealisticduvet]

Album Review: Infinite Rider on the Big Dogma (1979)

What is it? 

Infinite Rider… on the Big… Dogma.

What?

With this album, I decided to go with the “write as you re-listen” method of reviewing, since I knew I had so much to say about many of the songs individually. I hope this is as half as enjoyable to read as it was to write. As always, please let me know if you have any comments or dissenting opinions, I would love to hear them!

Without further, or really any, ado, we have “Dance”, a frivolously thrilling and unusual new style from our Michael. I am always a little shocked by its usage here as an opener, so used to it being the outro to Elephant Parts, in which many Infinite Rider songs feature. The instrumentation is rich and complex, in stark contrast to the lyrics –  “All I wanna do is dance and have a good time”. In some ways it leaves you confused as to why this wasn’t a big radio hit - is it the way he sings it, almost ironic in its empty-headedness? Is it just his bad luck? The song is too short to let you ponder for long. 

Next, we have “Magic” – my main gripe with this song, unfortunately not a bug but a feature, is the kitschy way he sings some of the high notes (we know for a fact he can hit them without so much falsetto fanfare) but it does add to the subtle irony of the song. Hidden underneath that facade, buried in the full, sustained notes of the chorus, is his true capacity. This song has a bit of a festive undertone with the bells lightly jingling, adding to the feeling of, genuinely, magic. Once again, this song is expertly produced, musically (aside from the background vocals “do-do-dooing” which I think is sometimes overkill) - there are a lot of layers which prevent it from sounding like a cheap holiday commercial.

I completely stand by the belief that “Flying” is an Eagles parody. Listen to this, and then listen to something like “One of These Nights.” I maintain also that this song is at least a parody of something, with lyrics that are deceptively genuine at first before dipping into deep unseriousness, all sung as straight-faced as ever. The middle eight here is again just exquisite. I wish there was an instrumental of this track particularly, although his vocals are so good that I wouldn’t push too hard for it. This song sounds like it ought to be played to a packed arena, something almost on the same level, musically, as “Comfortably Numb.” As the song fades out, you get a bit of a better listen to the drum and rhythm section, which has a unique stylistic blend and flare that, once again, adds depth to what otherwise might be called a boring album. (Misguided Rateyourmusic users have called it his “most accessible” album [read: contemporary, standard-issue, basic! – more on this at the end] but I disagree, at the risk of sounding pretentious… Infinite Rider is a complex and borderline experimental album; it just so happened that he was experimenting with things that happened to be in popular music at the time.)

Much like taking songs from The Prison out of their context as a soundtrack in order to review them musically, it is critical to take “Tonite” out of the context of Elephant Parts, in which it is evergreen in its evocation of the special as a whole – they were literally made for each other. The lyrics are weird, for Michael - on a first listen, you’ll be a little put off by them, until you get to the bridge and chorus, which swings back to the sort of strangeness that you’re used to, and now the old Hollywood oddness from the beginning starts to make a little sense. Three for three, these songs have so much going on musically that you never have a chance to be bored or question his intentions. There’s expert use of a piano/synth solo here which in some ways really dates the album as being from the late 70s/early 80s but that’s what I like so no complaints here. As the song ramps up towards the end (nearly unrecognizable from the moderately paced introductory verse) Michael slips into a rougher tone and drives the whole thing home. Careful listeners will catch the “I’m still inside of a little glass tube - I’m still inside of this room” as it fades out; a tasteful callback to the final scene of Head (1968), or just a bit of before-its-time commentary on the effect of fame on an individual’s psyche? Infinite Rider gives you no time at all to chew and swallow thoughtfully - the next song is already upon us.

“Carioca” is the first and only real reprieve you’ll get on this album, and it is still a wonderful song. Much like “Rio,” this song is inspired by what we can assume to be Michael’s fond memories of seeing Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in Flying Down to Rio (1933). His ability to belt out a chorus shines here, supported by pleasant instrumentation. Take a breath while you can, because up next we have…

… “Cruisin’”. If you’ve heard any song from this album already, it’s probably this – and you’ve probably seen a little bit of the music video from Elephant Parts, too. The verses are low-key and casual, and the whole thing reeks of sun-tan oil and hot tarmac. Whether or not you consider this to be Michael’s coming-out party, it’s still a compelling song much in the style of something like the Traveling Wilbury’s “Tweeter and the Monkey Man.” On its own, the song is fairly middle-of-the-road; it’s the music video that really makes it pop, with visual cues lining up perfectly to the song and Michael’s own performance of it (in those sunglasses...) 

From “Cruisin’” we dive straight into “Factions,” perhaps more memorably titled in early versions as “The Daughter of Rock n' Roll.” He didn’t invent anything new with the song, but definitely proved that he could keep up with the times, musically. The things he does with his voice here are almost foreign, a tone and gravel that we’ve never heard from him before. The song itself is good, with clever lyrics and an interesting story, a classic Nesmithian take on the contemporary “rock ‘n’ roll song about rock ‘n’ roll.” It’s not at the top of the album for me, but any song that effectively uses and rhymes the word “Boogie” gets a free pass for me. 

Take another deep breath at the end of this one, because you’re about to experience what is possibly, maybe probably, my favorite song of his ever: “Light.” Immediately, he has dropped the ironic and performative vocal quirks, and is once again singing in his own sweet tenor, with just a few humorous dips to keep you guessing. This song effortlessly blends bleating saxophone solos with laid-back steely drum meanderings, quivering organ overtones, and a sturdy, pulsing bassline. The lyrics are simple, yet powerful – “but the light from the window is the brightest of all” among others. I find it interesting that the song is called not “lights” plural, but “Light,” singular, implying that these eclectic lights are all interconnected, blending together from and into one infinite form. Once you have seen the music video for this, you’ll never listen to the song without its dancer flashing and jumping through your mind, it’s truly mesmerizing and at times otherworldly – again, the visions of the dancer and Michael are melded together by the use of mirrors and cutaways to create a mind bending effect. “Light” clocks in at 3:21 and feels even shorter; it ends almost abruptly, with the sax trailing off. I usually have to listen to it at least a second time to really let it sink in. 

One Tumblr user has in the past posited that we should “kill Horserace and replace it with a second Light” (Surrealisticduvet, 2024), and I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. Much like “The Other Room” is on From a Radio Engine to the Photon Wing, “Horserace”’s placement here is jarring, uncouth, and downright disrespectful to the rest of the album. Okay – now that I’ve gotten all that out of my system, let me explain why it just doesn’t work for me. While many songs on Infinite Rider have lyrics that are tongue-in-cheek, parodical, and dare I say intentionally silly, “Horserace” feels to me almost sloppy. Many words are rhymed with each other in such a way that it doesn’t feel intentional, meaning that by default it sounds amateurish. Michael here utilizes the same growl that he does on “Factions” and to some extent “Dance,” but it overpowers the track to the point where I had a hard time focusing on the music. (When I managed to, I confirmed to myself that it wasn’t as intricately crafted as any of the first 7 songs, and certainly not the last one we just listened to.) I’ve always said that even Michael’s worst songs are still worth listening to; such is not the case with “Horserace.” Listen to “Light” a second time and then hit that skip button.

“Capsule” is another one of those songs that Michael co-wrote with a few other people, and it is, dare I say, obvious. I like what he was trying to do, and the song sounds interesting, with a cool, jazzy swing. I don’t think it’s among his best work, either vocally or lyrically, and it’s a bit of a disappointing closer to an otherwise fast-paced and densely enjoyable album. 

I have to give a little shout out to the album’s outtakes, which I actually didn’t even know about until very recently. “Rollin’” is a real foot-tapper that takes his old song “Roll With the Flow” and revamps it in late-70’s radio-rock fashion with a “Mama Rocker”-style piano breakdown that sweeps up and down the keys. The whole song is pretty simple, but fun and effective, and I really like it. “Walkin’ in the Sand” is an interesting track, a true outtake in the sense that it breaks free from the one-word-title constraint he set for himself on this album. It’s like nothing I’ve ever heard from him, ramping up his affinity for minor-keys to a new level, with a glaring bass riff like something from the Arctic Monkeys (sorry, I can’t think of a more period-appropriate comparison). I’d be curious about what he could do in this style if given a whole album to play with – but if all we ever got was this one song, I’m still thrilled. 

Conclusion:

I think Infinite Rider, despite being perhaps more well-known during its time than his other albums, is largely misunderstood. (To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to enjoy his… oh, god, listen to me.) Some reviews call it his most accessible album, and laud his return into the sphere of pop music. I have a hard time explicitly agreeing with these assertions; I don’t think the album’s true intentions are as wholesome, simplistic, and popularity-seeking as some may claim. Much like The Prison was written as a soundtrack, Infinite Rider was written as a “video album” – to listen to “Magic” or “Cruisin’” on their own, without the music video, is to experience only half of the song. Even tracks which were not released with a visual component, I would argue, must still be considered within this context.

Critics also say that this album was overproduced and that there’s too much going on, instrumentally; this is just a difference of taste – I like an album you can listen to half a dozen times over and still hear something new. One amateur reviewer (my peer, I suppose) said that they appreciated the album since, despite its tongue-twisting title, it was easy to enjoy without having to crawl into Nesmith’s head to “get” it. Well, I guess I can’t argue with that – Infinite Rider’s appeal lies in the fact that to the casual listener, it is a good rock ‘n’ rollin’ time that ends after 38 minutes and 15 seconds; for anyone with enough time on their hands to dig a little deeper, rest assured that Michael will not disappoint.

[bingusbongu]

♡♡A/n: hey!!! I apologize, i lost the reply because for some reason my post deleted, in really really sorry! But this ask included a Royal Margarine Cookie x Shy but cuddly reader!!! I just had to do this one, cause Royal Margarine is my absolute favorite cookie, i love this silly and his dilly wyvern, hope you enjoy~!♡♡

Royal Margarine Cookie x Shy but Cuddly reader!

- Margarine Cookie has always been one for attention, he craves for it. Its not unusual for fans of his to crowd around him as soon as he makes a grand entrance

- you and him were already a couple, and of course, Margarine tried to show you off as his darling partner, wanting you to receive the same praise he would receive, besides, he liked showing you around, showing you off to other cookies who attempt to flirt with him

- What he didnt understand though is the way you backed up from the crowds, or hid behind him. Sure he liked the feeling that he could protect you, but he was confused on how you got all nervous when cookies would crowd around the two of you, and before he had a chance to show you off to his beloved fans, you were gone

- it would be Buttercream to go and find you. She didnt like the way that Margarine didnt go looking for yoi because he was to into making up fake stories to impress people. Sure she loved his rider, but she also loved you. You were so sweet to her, and even sneaked her extra snacks after supper, and you gave the greatest pets! She really liked you, so believe it or not, she is always the first one to find you

- once Buttercream tracks you down, and find you huddled away in a secure hiding spot, she is quick to make sure youre okay, before nestling her nose into your side to comfort you. She is the most understanding wyvern, she lets you talk to her and rant about how mich you hated being surrounded by people, with so many people talking at once.

- Buttercream understood that feeling, sometimes she gets overwhelmed with the cookies who keep trying to pet her and get her attention

- Royal Margarine Cookie would take a few moments to realize that not only you were gone, but realizing Buttercream was gone when a fan pointed it out. It was really uncommon for Buttercream to leave his side, let alone you.

- he definitely freaked out about it, pushing past the crowed of cookies to try and find the both of you. Calling out for you in hopes to findyou easier, trying to hide the fear in his voice, already imagining the worst

- he was extreamly worried, his two favorite things in the whole world were missing, he couldnt imagine losing you or Buttercream!

- he was about to have a breakdown, until he noticed a familiar looking tail in the corner of his eye, watching it as it disappeared into a hidden spot that he hadnt even thought to look. Instantly pipping his curiosity, why would Buttercream be there of all places? Maybe she was looking for something?

- once he finally trailed over to see what his faitful companion was doing, he was about to call out to her before completing stopping in his tracks

- Buttercream lay wrapped around you, As you nestled into the wyverns dide for warmth and comfort, shutting your eyes as you finally calmed down. Buttercreams head in your lap as you pet her, and she happily purring at the gentle affection

- Royal Margarine at the sight, feeling relieved that the both of you were okay. But still confused on why you and Buttercream were cuddled together in this little hiding space, where no one could find you.

- once you realized Royal Margarine Cookie was there finally, you invited him over to join the two of you, opening your arms as Buttcream looked up at her rider expectantly, for him to come over and join the little pile of affection going on.

- He was hesitant at first, but sighed and quickly gave in, how could he ignore his two favorite things in all of earthbread inviting him over to cuddle?

- he crawled in besides you, at first complaining that a room would be much better for this, more comfortable for the pile, but ignoring his blabbering, Buttercream dropped her tail into his lap, making him huff in protest.

- before he could make another comment, you had instantly cuddled into his side, making the words forming in his mouth come to a close as he looked down at you. His face seeming to warm up at how you nestled your head into his neck, making a small noise asif searching for comfort from him. And Royal Margarine Cookie was very happy to oblige. Wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close to him, shoving down his internal screaming to ask you what was wrong

- You finally ended up opening your mind to him, explaning how you hated crowds and being shoved into them for attention, how it made you nearly crumble on the spot just having so many eyes looking at you. Also, expressing how you weren't really a fan of being there and listening to the ladies fawn all over him.

- Royal Margarine Cookie listened intently, nodding his head, while on the inside he felt extreamly guilty. He hadnt ment to push you into that situation, he didnt know any better! He decided from then on to make it up to you

- after that, Royal Margarine Cookie was open to your feelings, constantly msking sure you were comfortable, abd if you werent, he would take you away somewhere else for you to feel better

- oftentimes, when he is busy, he would nake sure Buttercream would stay with you to make sure you were okay

- when his fans approach him, he wouldnt throw you into the mix. Instead, he would chat with them, before clearing his throat, and pushing past them

- "excuse me, i have a date with my wonderful partner, and i will not be late for it"

- after that, the both of you hook arms and walk to the nearest tavern, him having the biggest smug look on his face, before going to chat abd flirt with you like nothing happened

- always is touching you in some form of ways, whether it be holding your hand to wrapping his arm around your waist, he likes to keep you close to him

- when you are uncomfortable, he bring you to the side and lets you hold onto him as he tries his best to comfort you. (Usually cracking stupid jokes to make you laugh)

- especially loves after a long day, when you open your arms for him to fall into, and him grumbling about his day as you listen and play with his hair

- Royal Margarine Cookie can be full of himself, sure, but in all honesty, he really really cares about you. You are his greatest treasure, and he would do anything to make you happy! Even go on a dangerous quest if you asked him to.

- Buttercream may keep him in line, but i assure you, he is trying his best to make you happy ♡

[alteregomp4]

Lets talk about Lestat and Gabrielle relationship...

HUGE TRIGGER WARNING: for talks of incest. and spoilers for The Vampire Lestat I guess, but once again... talks of incest.

FYI: In no way am I trying to villainize Gabrielle and if it comes off that way that is not my attention as she is also clearly a victim, I view her as such and her story is an interesting one to also dive into especially with the aspects of gender and how society sees gender identity. But we should also acknowledge that victims can sometimes become perpetrators unknowingly sadly, especially due to external factors and deep seated trauma stemming from childhood or events that have happened to that person that are clearly established in the book The Vampire Lestat and throughout the whole series even if unintentional on Anne Rice part. And once again, this is just my point of view and how I interpreted it. I truly just wish people would approach a topic like this with nuance, seriousness, and finally respect as most of the time in the books these subjects are not.

Possible controversial opinion since people love joking about it and even want it in the show which I think that's rather odd to do or want since like you guys do know that victims of this actual stuff exist as well as the fact they could be consuming said media for multiple reasons but I think people in the interview with the vampire/the vampire chronicles fandom especially book readers and ESPECIALLY those that are also Anne Rice d riders should realize that the relationship between Lestat and his mother was and is emotional incest... something that is not often talked but just as harmful as overt incest. It is also very codependent but I will just be high-lighting the convert incest here, though the two overlap a ton in these types of relationships.

This is something that affects someone for life and isn't really that funny and something that shouldn't be seen as sexy like it has been in media recently due to House Of The Dragon plus some other things that's came out in recent years, it's quite gross how normalized it's getting to find it hot because incest of any kind affects not only the development of the child but how they handle their personal relationships after they've grown. Something that is very clear in Lestat's character throughout the whole series.

I do not think me picking up on this is far fetched since the term was coined in the 1980s by psychologist Kenneth Adamswhen (I will be pulling stuff from a interview he did about the subject which I will link as it's a interesting reading) when people first started looking into the subject and the book came out in 1985, though knowing Anne Rice she just probably had a fetish for this thing as it often appears in her books which is whole another thing on it's own. It appears a lot doesn't excuse btw since the topic of abuse of any kind is not handled well. (also before people start saying that these books are gothic fiction and that incest is a staple of the genre still doesn't excuse it in my opinion since there is better ways to handle the topic than make it obvious fetish work. Yes, art is supposed to make you uncomfortable and I actively consume art that does exactly that to the consumer but there is the line that can be easily crossed when dealing with certain subjects if you at least don't treat them seriously and with care like they need to be.)

Their relationship is not enmeshment, something people confuse emotional incest to be and often mix the two up. But their relationship fits so many boxes of emotional incest that it is maddening I have seen no one else bring up the subject and just chalk it up to plan ole incest because of the kissing as well as blood sharing symbolizing sex for vampires in these works. (Which I have huge criticisms on how vampires are in the series plus I may be biased to not see kissing as inherently sexual due to being aroace and by the time the kisses happen Lestat has already faced stalking, literally being kidnapped by a strange man who had been watching him as well as talking to him through his mind referencing the fact he was known as wolf-killer plus having corpses that looked just like Lestat in a tower that Lestat had to stay in, turned Lestat against his will then watched said man kill himself after becoming a vampire, and sexual trauma from said man as well. So it is not surprising to me that Lestat would seek out some sort of affection from an older trusted figure in his life, even if it is negative and harmful. Most victims do this unconsciously or because the trauma makes them feel like this is the only way they feel like they can seek out validation and affection from others.)

"Any time there is physical sexual contact, and that includes things like inappropriate kissing or touching, we’re talking about overt incest. Basically, you’ve moved past playing a role and into being an object. It can be both, of course. When that happens, usually the overt incest lasts a much shorter time than the longer-term surrogate partner role. I should also state that in cases of overt and covert combined, it isn’t uncommon to see the victims involved as adults with incestuous fantasies – mother and son or father and daughter stuff online, or power differential relationships where a boundary is crossed. Or their lovers tend to be much older or younger, so much so that the age difference raises some people’s eyebrows. So, the incestuous dynamic is played out in some way."

"Frankly, I try not to draw too fine a distinction here because there is definitely a blurry line between things like sitting too close and making a child uncomfortable vs. kissing that child on the lips too long. Either way it feels icky. And the result might be that even though nobody touched my penis or breasts or vagina, when my lover tries to kiss me, I withdraw. That withdrawal is your evidence that something happened that was inappropriate and not welcome."

In the book we are shown things that check off boxes on known clear signs of emotional incest, and this is the first few pages of the book when Lestat first starts talking about his up-brining. Before I list five signs that I think fit and how I see Lestat and Gabrielle relationship as well as explain why I feel that way but let us learn what emotional incest aka also known as convert incest is.

"Covert incest describes a relationship between a parent and child in which the child feels more like a romantic partner. Typically the parent is motivated by the loneliness and emptiness of a troubled marriage, so he or she turns the child into a surrogate partner. There is not necessarily any kind of overt sexual touching, but the relationship feels too close for comfort to the child. The boundaries are such that there is an incestuous feeling. The child feels used and trapped, the same as with overt incest."

"Later on, covert incest victims tend to continue functioning in the role of a surrogate partner where they’re overly enmeshed with the parent [or] over-involved as a caretaker, even though they may have long forgotten the icky part that was present early on — usually during adolescence. As adults, instead of feeling icky, they might just feel frustrated, angry, obligated, and way too involved. This type of enmeshment is very common in terms of the adult-life characteristics. Basically, enmeshment describes the nature of the ongoing relationship; covert incest defines the earlier sexual inappropriateness."

In the first few pages after the opening of The Vampire Lestat once he begins to work on his novel we learn that his home life as a child and upbringing was not great to say the least. An abusive father, living clearly in poverty, brothers who couldn't care less if Lestat lived or died, and finally a mother who was often emotionally absent, avoided showing physical affection towards her children, and that also hindered her children's skills of being able to read as well as write out of spite because of the unfilling marriage she was forced into as well as life that she had to have because of being a woman in 1700s society.  Also I feel the disconnect she has from motherhood and being a mother affects her relationship with Lestat from the start as it is clear that she lives vicariously through him due to him having gotten most of her features and traits unlike his brothers, also because of her own struggles with womanhood as well as how society sees has always seen women and what it is to be a woman.

This situation is just brewing for a codependent relationship to happen, especially between mother and child as it's clear they both hold resentment towards the father. A simple codependent relationship can quickly turn abusive especially in a household like this and most of any kind of abuse that children can face is commonly more likely to be from family or people they know than strangers.

The five signs I wanted to point out that really struck me of fitting the two (only doing five as this post is already so long and I do not feel comfortable on trying to score points on it like how psychologists do for cases like these as I am clearly not one.):

Talking about sexual encounters or even dreams of one with your child: Gabrielle in page 39 of the book shares a dream she has of basically having a train run on her by the whole town, this is just after Lestat has opened up about his fears and nightmares he has of killing his brothers and father like he did to the wolves earlier in the forest. That he isn't the same Lestat he was and has come back as a killer instead of her son. He is still in the bloody clothes that he killed the wolves in when she shares this.

"'You know I imagine,'' she said, looking towards me again. ''Not so much the murdering of them as an abandon which disregards them completely. I imagine drinking wine until I'm so drunk I strip off my clothes and bathe in the mountain streams naked.'' I almost laughed. But it was a sublime amusement. I looked up at her, uncertain for a moment that I was hearing her cor-rectly. But she had said these words and she wasn't finished. ''And then I imagine going into the village," she said, ''and up into the inn and taking any men that come there-crude men, big men, old men, boys. Just lying there and taking them one after another, and feeling some magnificent triumph in it, some absolute release without a thought of what happens to your father or your brothers, whether they are alive or dead. In that moment that I am purely myself. I belong to no one." - Page 39, The Vampire Lestat

This is something really weird to just open up about with your child, especially after they open up about their fear of harming others and feeling like they aren't the same person they were after a traumatizing experience. I understand that she was trying to relate in a way about how she also feels these types of feelings towards Lestat's father and brothers but I full on had to put the book down out of pure shock that this was written right after a character was talking clearly about intrusive thoughts with your own ones that inherently sexual in nature, especially to your own child for that matter.

Sharing responsibility for adult decisions such as finances, employment, or where to live: Lestat and Gabrielle are the sole providers for the household. Lestat being the one that often brought in food due to finding comfort in hunting after being taken out of church as Gabrielle provided him the tools like his pet mastiffs, guns, and horse while Gabrielle was the sole reason they had any sort of money in the first place due to coming from a rich family, often selling her own jewelry to help get gifts for Lestat and just have money for the family. With this she also helped him run away to Paris with Nicki.

Because of this Lestat and Gabrielle have been sharing sole responsibility for adult decisions in the household and especially financial ones, which no child should be or feel responsible for.

Missing out on child-appropriate activities such as extracurriculars or time with friends: Lestat life was sheltered. To the point he didn't know how to write or read till he went to the church to study under the priest. The only friends he has had outside of his family up to this point are the people at the church, his dogs, the traveling theater company, and soon Nicki.

"I loved the monastery school. I loved the chapel and the hymns, the library with its thousands of old books, the bells that divided the day, the ever repeated rituals. I loved the cleanliness of the place, the overwhelming fact that all things here were well kept and in good repair, that work never ceased throughout the great house and the gardens. When I was corrected, which wasn't often, I knew an intense happiness because someone for the first time in my life was trying to make me into a good person, one who could learn things. Within a month I declared my vocation. I wanted to enter the order. I wanted to spend my life in those immaculate cloisters, in the library writing on parchment and learning to read the ancient books. I wanted to be enclosed forever with people who believed I could be good if I wanted to be. I was liked there. And that was a most unusual thing. I didn't make other people there unhappy or angry. The Father Superior wrote immediately to ask my father's permission. And frankly I thought my father would be glad to be rid of me. But three days later my brothers arrived to take me home with them. I cried and begged to stay, but there was nothing the Father Superior could do. And as soon as we reached the castle, my brothers took away my books and locked me up. I didn't understand why they were so angry. There was the hint that I had behaved like a fool for some reason. I couldn't stop crying. I was walking round and round and smashing my fist into things and kicking the door. Then my brother Augustin started coming in and talking to me. He'd circle the point at first, but what came clear finally was that no member of a great French family was going to be a poor teaching brother. How could I have misunderstood everything so completely? I was sent there to learn to read and write. Why did I always have to go to extremes? Why did I behave habitually like a wild creature? As for becoming a priest with real prospects within the Church, well, I was the youngest son of this family, now, wasn't I? I ought to think of my duties to my nieces and nephews. Translate all that to mean this: We have no money to launch a real ecclesiastical career for you, to make you a bishop or cardinal as befits our rank, so you have to live out your life here as an illiterate and a beggar. Come in the great hall and play chess with your father." - Pages 20 and 21, The Vampire Lestat

"When I woke up the next morning, she was gone and so were all the players, and my brothers were there. I never knew if my friends had been bribed to give me over, or just frightened off. More likely the latter. Whatever the case, I was taken back home again. Of course my family was perfectly horrified at what I'd done. Wanting to be a monk when you are twelve is excusable. But the theater had the taint of the devil. Even the great Moliere had not been given a Christian burial. And I'd run off with a troupe of ragged vagabond Italians, painted my face white, and acted with them in a town square for money. I was beaten severely, and when I cursed everyone, I was beaten again. The worst punishment, however, was seeing the look on my mother's face. I hadn't even told her I was going. And I had wounded her, a thing that had never really happened before. But she never said anything about it. When she came to me, she listened to me cry. I saw tears in her eyes. And she laid her hand on my shoulder, which for her was something a little remarkable. I didn't tell her what it had been like, those few days. But I think she knew. Something magical had been lost utterly. And once again, she defied my father. She put an end to the condemnations, the beatings, the restrictions. She had me sit beside her at the table. She deferred to me, actually talked to me in conversation that was perfectly unnatural to her, until she had subdued and dissolved the rancor of the family. Finally, as she had in the past, she produced another of her jewels and she bought the fine hunting rifle that I had taken with me when I killed the wolves." - Pages 34 and 35, The Vampire Lestat

Alternating feelings of love and hatred for your parent(s): This is shown in the first book as well as in this one, but now we get to see these feelings he has towards his mother rather than his father as well as brothers.

"She was silent for a while. And as I sat there, looking past her at the fire, I wanted to tell her a lot of things, how much I loved her particularly. But I was cautious. She had a way of cutting me off when I spoke to her, and mingled with my love was a powerful resentment of her. All my life I'd watched her read her Italian books and scribble letters to people in Naples, where she had grown up, yet she had no patience even to teach me or my brothers the alphabet. And nothing had changed after I came back from the monastery. I was twenty and I couldn't read or write more than a few prayers and my name. I hated the sight of her books; I hated her absorption in them. And in some vague way, I hated the fact that only extreme pain in me could ever wring from her the slightest warmth or interest. Yet she'd been my savior. And there was no one but her. And I was as tired of being alone, perhaps, as a young person can be. She was here now, out of the confines of her library, and she was attentive to me. Finally I was convinced that she wouldn't get up and go away, and I found myself speaking to her." Page 25, The Vampire Lestat

"And she almost laughed herself. Maybe in her own quiet way she was laughing. Curious moment. Some almost brutal sense of her as a human being quite removed from all that surrounded her. We did understand each other, and all my resentment of her didn't matter too much." - Page 27, The Vampire Lestat

Your parent(s) turned to you, instead of their partner or another adult, to unburden any feelings of emotional distress they experienced: Gabrielle is only open and shows any emotional towards her children if it is Lestat that she is talking to, she is closed off to everyone else in the household but him due to own her contempt and feelings around of being a wife and a mother. He is the first and only person to be told that she is sick and dying, that she doesn't expect to make it through another winter at best. This is a lot to put on anyone at any age, especially someone who is your child and after they have opened up a bit as well as their own traumatizing event.

"I made some little anguished sound. I think I leaned forward and said, "Mother! " "Don't say any more," she answered. I think she hated to be called mother, but I hadn't been able to help it." - Page 27, The Vampire Lestat

"I just wanted to speak it to another soul, " she said. "To hear it out loud. I'm perfectly horrified by it. I'm afraid of it. " I wanted to take her hands, but I knew she'd never allow it. She disliked to be touched. She never put her arms around anyone. And so it was in our glances that we held each other. My eyes filled with tears looking at her. She patted my hand. "Don't think on it much, " she said. "I don't. Just only now and then. But you must be ready to live on without me when the time comes. That may be harder for you than you realize. " I tried to say something; I couldn't make the words come. She left me just as she'd come in, silently. And though she'd never said anything about my clothes or my beard or how dreadful I looked, she sent the servants in with clean clothes for me, and the razor and warm water, and silently I let myself be taken care of by them." - Page 27, The Vampire Lestat

"I began to feel a little stronger. I stopped thinking about what happened with the wolves and I thought about her. I thought about the words "perfectly horrified, " and I didn't know what to make of them except they sounded exactly true. I'd feel that way if I were dying slowly. It would have been better on the mountain with the wolves. But there was more to it than that. She had always been silently unhappy. She hated the inertia and the hopelessness of our life here as much as I did. And now, after eight children, three living, five dead, she was dying. This was the end for her. I determined to get up if it would make her feel better, but when I tried I couldn't. The thought of her dying was unbearable. I paced the floor of my room a lot, ate the food brought to me, but still I wouldn't go to her. But by the end of the month, visitors came to draw me out." - Page 27 and 28, The Vampire Lestat

"She did not laugh often. She could look profoundly cold. Yet she had always a little girl sweetness. Well, I looked at her as she sat on my bed-I even stared at her, I suppose-and immediately she started to talk to me. "I know how it is, " she said to me. "You hate them. Because of what you've endured and what they don't know. They haven't the imagination to know what happened to you out there on the mountain. " I felt a cold delight in these words. I gave her the silent acknowledgment that she understood it perfectly. "It was the same the first time I bore a child, " she said. "I was in agony for twelve hours, and I felt trapped in the pain, knowing the only release was the birth or my own death. When it was over, I had your brother Augustin in my arms, but I didn't want anyone else near me. And it wasn't because I blamed them. It was only that I'd suffered like that, hour after hour, that I'd gone into the circle of hell and come back out. They hadn't been in the circle of hell. And I felt quiet all over. In this common occurrence, this vulgar act of giving birth, I understood the meaning of utter loneliness." - Page 24 and 25, The Vampire Lestat

Finally to conclude this post, this is just my point of view on their relationship and how I interpreted it but I really hope the show handles something like this with care instead of making a joke out of it or making it seem like a normal vampire thing since that's what Anne Rice did. I would love if they went at with this angle of emotional incest or even just a strong codependent relationship between mother and son as I feel like it could open a lot of great conversations on the topic as bring it more into the spotlight which could lead to others realizing their not alone. But we'll see when season three is released.

Important links:

Kenneth Adamswhen interview

RAINN

[thunderboltfire]

I'm curious to know about your OCs' horses. Are they normal horses, or are they rational beings or magically bonded allies or anything? Are there any interesting stories about them being acquired or entering the story?

Thanks for the ask! :)

That very much depends on a horse! Out of named horses, Gniady (Daen's horse) is a regular animal - he's well trained, agile and fast, but he isn't mentally different from any regular equine. Daen isn't eager to talk about his past, so it's unclear where he exactly got him, but it's implied he trained him from a young age. Similarly to the team's pack mule, who sometimes doubles as Theria's ride - he behaves pretty much how one would expect from an animal of his kind.

The trouble begins with Aquila and Signae. They are technically magically altered animals, and it's difficult to say whether they don't tread the line of sentience.

(this turned out to be pretty long, so the rest is under a cut)

A starbound animal and rider pair is created throughout a complex magical ritual. It's a remnant of an old elvish magical technology. After the spectacular fall of elven civilisation catalysed by a magical catastrophe, most of the old magic and technology was lost. However bits and pieces have survived here and there. It's highly probable that starbound riders were a prototype that didn't go on to be in a widespread use and got repurposed after the catasrophe. Many people have heard of the riders, but they are few and far between so they're far from being a regular occurence. The magic involved in starbound rider's binding to their horse isn't simple or widely understood, and as it often is with magic permanently affecting living beings, it breeds mistrust, strange tales and legends. In some places people say one has to trade a piece of their soul for a starbound steed.

The binding is only practiced in a handful of remote monasteries and hermitages and it isn't available to just anyone - its price is paid not in money, but in knowledge or favors. The hermits also don't accept just anyone - a suitable candidate has to have significant resolve and be good at handling stressful situations. This is because the bond can, and often will, be a mental hazard to a rider. There are no strict requirements towards an involved animal - however it's pretty normal that it should be in good health and of good character. It should also have existing bond of trust with its rider, as it lessens the initial confusion.

The ritual creates a permanent bond between the consciousness of both horse and rider and gives the horse several supernatural qualities. Starbound horses live for as long as their riders do and age on a similar rate, are more inteligent to the point of limited understanding of speech and are partially resistant to offensive magic. They are also always aware of the whereabouts of their riders. Their most important trait is the ability akin to instinctive short-distance teleportation. It's physically draining for them, but it's invaluable in a dangerous situation.

They never seem to become something non-equine in a psychological sense - they're generally speaking still horses, and they still have most of equine physical and mental needs. It's harder to scare them or fool them, but they still have distictively equine responses for emotionally overwhelming situations. So they can play checkers with you, but they also can start to weave, pace and panic if they're in emotional distress. The side effect of the ritual is that in most of the cases, the horse becomes entirely sterile.

Phasing in and out of physical dimension is a feature, not a bug.

The entire ordeal affects the rider to a lesser degree - having forged the empathetic bond, they always know where their mount is (at the very least the general direction) and they can to a limited degree communicate with them telepathically. The information the horse is getting is the intent, or a direction - whether they do what they're told, is another thing entirely. For a well-established horse and rider pair this eliminates misunderstandings and makes them work in a close synergy, with the communication unrestricted by a surrounding chaos. They seem to navigate the dangerous circumstances with an incredible intuition - it's very hard to imbalance them or surprise them in any way, and they're capable of fine - tuned manouvers, conducted as if they were one creature in two bodies.

A significant downside is however that one can undergo the ritual only once. Should a rider lose their horse, they can never get another starbound steed, and they will suffer due to lack of the familiar presence in their consciousness. To be fair however, starbound horses usually are pretty good at keeping themselves alive.

Not everyone is prepared to deal with the telepathic communication, and what's a blessing can also be a curse. The bond can cause a very unpleasant side-effect called a surge, in which the powerful emotional state of one side causes them to mentally broadcast their whole sensory experience directly to the other. It's safe to say, humans aren't equipped to perceive things in 270 degree angle of vision, and they are not quadrupedal. They also think and understand things in a very different way - the resulting cognitive horror can in the best case cause someone to shut down for a while, and in the worst case cause a lasting trauma which'll put them out of commission for weeks. The opposite is also true - reportedly, a sight and sound of a horse that desperately tries to speak with its equine mouth is not a pleasant one. That's why one's psychological resistance comes into play. A surge can sometimes be stopped - and the better the horse and rider are at managing the bond and keeping each other from spiraling into a frenzy or panic, the rarer it becomes and its instances are less crippling.

It's probably the very individual, permanent nature of the forged bond and the fact that it relies on qualities that are difficult to gauge beforehand that resulted in it never being used on a larger scale. However, for the few that are willing to work through the difficulties, it can prove to be extremely useful. Especially to someone who cannot always rely on strenght in numbers, the horse which will literally watch their six and respond appropriately and a possibility to straight up disappear from under an approaching blow is invaluable.

It's hard to tell to what degree the starbound animals are capable of rational thought, so it's difficult to discuss the ethics of this arrangement. It's hardly a symmetrical thing too, but it's mutualistic, to a degree. For the standards of mostly feudal world, this aspect is rather neutral to its inhabitants. They more often freak out about uncanny horses that seem to know way more than horses should (and people who seem to have a full conversation with their silent horse) than about someone using a possibly sentient being as a mount.

Now, how did the present starbound riders got in this situation?

In case of Igna it was pretty straightforward - she got Aquila when the mare was two years old from her father. Igna was fourteen at the time. She had previous riding experience, borrowing her uncle's old draft horse and sometimes helping him to hold horses for shoeing. The young, pitch-black mare was the most precious gift she's ever got and she looked after her dilligently. Whether she'd go on to patrol the borderlands or choose to become someone else, she could use a horse, and a hardy mare was a relatively easy keeper. Igna's father's old favors granted her a possibility to undergo the ritual. The idea came from Eberre too, some time after Igna has declared she wants to become a Wanderer. They've travelled together for a while and after one dangerous encounter on the road, Eberre thought she may need an additional advantage if she's to one day inevitably deal with various dangers alone. The choice was left to Igna - she was a little scared, but was pretty tunnel-visioned too, so she decided she'd go through with it. Mila, being a Keeper of Borders wasn't pleased with an idea of exposing her child to a permanently altering ancient magic with an uncertain result, but Igna, then a stubborn 17-year old, has managed to put her foot down and went on to become a starbound rider. It had driven a further wedge between her and the people of Iseni - she never was fully one of them, but now, atop her weird, two-colored horse she seemed even more alien. Fortunately, she's had plenty of space to get accustomed to Aquila's new abilities and by the time she ventured out of her home, she was completely accustomed to the bond and proficient at using it.

Argo got Signae back when he was a little foal, and he himself was a little kid, around 10 years old. It would be a little far-fetched to say that Signae was bred specifically for him, but he surely was raised with him in mind. While Argo had absolutely no magical ability, he took to horses and bows like a bird to the sky, and soon enough he galloped around Riss atop a little dappled horse. The idea to make Argo a starbound rider came from his mother, way before he decided he would enlist as a Wanderer. It was practically a sort of a life insurance - while being a dead end of the current ducal dynasty, Argo was comparatively safer than if he was a valid heir, the possibility of someone trying to hurt him to threaten his father has remained. A mean of a magical defense could one day decide about his life, and Argo, who in a way grew up surrounded by magic didn't really mind getting bound to his horse in this way. The initial weeks of adjustment were a little difficult, but once he got accustomed to it, he didn't have much problems with it. Signae's stable, gregarious presonality has definitely made it easier, too.

[reviewinghiccup]

RIDERS OF BERK | HTTYD SERIES | BREAKING DOWN HICCUP

Blog Post Series : Breaking Down Hiccup

Title : Portrait of Hiccup as a Buff Man

Ep/Season : Episode 8, Season 1 (Riders of Berk)

Premise :

Following a proud Viking tradition, Stoick and Hiccup pose for a portrait which will hang on the walls of the Great Hall. However, much to only Hiccup’s chagrin (it seems) some “minor” modifications were made depicting a very different him. At the same time, the great treasure map left by the son of Hamish the 1st was discovered. Many have failed trying to decipher its codes, yet harder they try still. Upset by the portrait and trying to prove that he is more than his make, Hiccup embarks on a journey to find the elusive treasure. Something that even Stoick the Vast himself failed attempting.

THEME & MESSAGE

THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY SEEM

I felt really bad for Hiccup. At the start of the show, you can see him get super excited about the portrait, loving that he gets to take part in Viking history / culture.

Stoick has grown a lot too. He accepts Hiccup for who he is. After all, he has proven himself many times to be a worthy heir and son. And we know Stoick loves him.

However, the painting was exaggerated and Hiccup’s built and size was way larger in proportion to the actual fact.

Yet, no one seems to mind it, except him. It must’ve been confusing and degrading to find that everyone else, including Stoick, loved the work. Even comments like “now that’s the son of a chief,” echoed through.

Common, even Astrid simped over buff Hiccup.

So, Hiccup then goes on this rant, where he believes that his father loves the painting more than his real self.

And the “am I worthy enough” debacle starts brewing in Hiccup’s mind.

So, there he goes, leading the team on an adventure to find the treasure.

What ticked Hiccup off was, that his father couldn’t succeed in this treasure hunt and knowing that the “clues are so complicated that only a brilliant mind can decipher them,” meant that if Hiccup could, then all insecurity about his capabilities would be quashed, i.e., doing something even the strongest Vikings couldn’t do.

Hiccup manages to breakdown the riddles and find the treasure in an afternoon, of course w the help of the dragons and the riders, but the fact remains, he is and will always be the brains of the operation.

Stoick is reprimanded by Gobber for what he said to Hiccup about the painting, pointing to Stoick’s obliviousness and how it had affected Hiccup’s perception about himself.

I love that Gobber is like a check and balance for them. No doubt that Gobber has helped Stoick parent Hiccup. No doubt there.

Then, we have Stoick’s over-protective parent personality seep out, knowing that this adventure was dangerous, nearly even fatal and that he could actually lose his son, which made him realise that he would not want buff Hiccup, or stronger Hiccup, he just wanted Hiccup.

I love how just like the perception we have of Hiccup, the story is also nothing like we expect it to be. Hiccup admits that he knew his father accepts him, it was a question of whether Hiccup accepted himself.

Nothing was sweeter than to see Stoick run to his son and Hiccup running to his dad when the adventure ended.

Parents aren’t perfect. Stoick is far from it. But the most important thing about being a dad, is showing up. Sure, they fail. Stoick did, big time. But he makes up for it and thankfully, Hiccup has a big enough heart to forgive his dad.

COMMENTARY

This episode was heart warming. For an adventure story, I enjoyed the pacing. It made sense why they were quicker. With Hiccup’s mind and the ease of transport the dragons provided (and that of fire and safety) they could manoeuvre in and out of the dangerous bits of the exercise w ease. I also love how the story panned out and how, sometimes it really takes the least of the herd to do something spectacular.

Definitely one of my top favourite episodes in the HTTYD Series Universe.

[icebluecyanide]

Alex Rider S03E06 Reaction

Unspoilered episode reactions, warning for book spoilers, you know the drill. Time to kill Mrs Jones!

Liveblog

‘We have both been betrayed too many times’ over an image of John, nice

Don’t just approach the strange man watching you, Jack!!

Why did he tell Jack?? It’s sort of wild that Alex is thinking of killing Mrs Jones as just something he needs to do first, like he can in any way go back to a normal life after. Like, also him thinking he would ‘just’ finish Scorpia, like that’s not an entire criminal organisation that’s been hidden for years. Alex, I love you but perhaps these are not realistic life goals

Omg why would you get the CIA involved

Ahsdlfhs I need Alex to be more isolated, I can’t handle him seeming to be winning this argument with Yassen about contacting Jack when it was objectively a stupid thing to do. ‘She needed to know I was okay’ Alex… you will literally never be able to live a normal life again if you kill Mrs Jones, you showing yourself to Jack will not make this easier in any way

‘We trust each other, you should try it sometime’ Alex you literally just met up with your friend in secret ahsdlfhs

Oh no I think Yassen may know that the story about Mrs Jones isn’t true. ‘Shortly after the operation. Shortly after your father died’ sounds like Yassen knows John didn’t die on the bridge. But also gosh him telling Alex he could be a good killer!! What are Yassen’s motives here?? 

Ayyy first Helen mention, that took a while. Interesting choice to have Yassen be the one to tell Alex, and that he knows about the plane crash

“Because it’s my job. I work for Scorpia. And I’m good at it” 🥺

“You think this is about John. Alex Rider’s father” ahsldhfs why not just call him John Rider lol

YASSEN IS COOKING FOR THEM!!! 🥰 They’re having dinner together omg 

“You can’t kill someone and go home. You can only go forward.” “forward to what?” “To the next target” ooof gosh he’s not wrong tho and Alex is definitely overdue hearing that given his behaviour earlier this ep

“Alex worked it out, because he’s actually quite good at this stuff” yeah I mean that is part of why they blackmailed him to work for the Department, Tom ahsldfhs what sort of burn is this supposed to be lol weren’t you all glad Blunt wasn’t interested in Alex anymore??

“If i were betrayed like that, I would make sure there were consequences, no matter how long it took” lol foreshadowing

Gosh this part about her trying to make him separate from Jack is a lot more complicated in the show than in the book, what with Alex not being as isolated/him not feeling like he’s already decided to be with Scorpia/Scorpia being a lot more brutal to him so far

“He’s confused” I mean he’s also trying to kill Mrs Jones and joined a criminal organisation. So like, they absolutely should be treating him with caution now

Why are they not putting together yet that Alex is going after Mrs Jones tho? In the book Blunt puts extra security on her the moment it becomes clear that Alex may have joined Scorpia because he learned about Albert Bridge, it doesn’t seem such a big leap to assume Alex is out to kill a particular person?

Love how they kept in the Coke trick with the metal detector, always loved that in the book haha

Lmao Alex just putting together the gun on camera

I love how she immediately notices the picture being turned down and knows something is wrong

Alex is so angry!! I’m sad that we don’t get Mrs Jones challenging Alex about his dad being a killer tho

Overall

Very nice. Some really cool scenes this episode, loved how much Yassen and Alex we are getting but oh man I need the Department at least to be rough with Alex when they bring him in after this, I crave Consequences.

Thought/predictions

Some very interesting Yassen and Alex scenes in this episode, and I loooove the fact that they are living in the safe house together for a bit and that Yassen was cooking them dinner, but also it is wild to me how Alex could just walk out. Where is the danger, the consequences of him telling people? Yassen is huffy for one moment and then Alex talks back and they move on like ahsdlfhs I love Yassen being soft for Alex, but he really is being very foolish contacting people he knows like that. Like ‘yeah I’m on a mission of revenge and I’m planning the murder of a government official but after that I plan to come home’ like Alex… 

Those were some really wild reactions to Kyra stealing the equivalent of state secrets lol. Like, those are highly classified files, and frankly the fact that Smithers either didn’t notice it going missing or didn’t care because he likes Kyra makes me think that perhaps the Department is not ISO certified.

Okay so, Julia Rothman wants revenge on Blunt and John (through Alex). The plan was just Blunt until Alex started searching for Scorpia and now Mrs Rothman really wants to watch him die too (which I assume Alex will learn once they tell him about what Scorpia is planning next ep when they bring him in). 

Yassen on the other hand seems to think Alex can be a killer like him and John, and I still can’t tell if he knows that John betrayed Scorpia. Because he is very ‘emotions don’t matter’ so it is possible that yes he felt betrayed but now he put that aside, and he is not about things getting personal and doesn’t question orders, so he might never have even considered that Julia Rothman actually wants Alex dead. Because apparently he’s happy never thinking lol. But that also means that perhaps once he’s forced to choose between Scorpia and Alex later this season, he may need to make an actual choice, and may realise that Julia actually planned to kill Alex from the start. Alternatively, he doesn’t know but also never looked into it. But the way he phrased things when it came to Alex’s mother dying and warned Alex not to make things personal is a bit suspicious. But also that means he’s lying to Alex about his dad??

Also Kyra loves Alex apparently, but I wish we could have got more on her feelings about Alex joining the organisation that murdered her parents. Like, it may even have been Yassen who did it, and now Alex is hanging out with him. Can we please get some moral consequences and angst in here?

I want a hundred more scenes of Alex and Yassen living in the safe house. Did they do dishes together? Did they have separate bedrooms? What’s it like for Alex to spend so much time with the man who killed his uncle? He did actually seem to warm up to Yassen from around that time with the shopping list, but it has to be strange when he’s reminded of Yassen being a killer.

I assume they will send Alex in again like in canon but I really wonder what that conversation will be like, because I always liked how in the books Alex is sort of half resigned to the fact that they are going to ask him, and half knows he wants to do it because he wants to save people & get back at Julia Rothman for the lies and also her trying to kill him.

Questions

Does Yassen know??? I need to know more about his motivations

Is Tom’s brother going to be okay without a good cameraman?

Will Tom move to Malta?

What is Yassen going to do when he sees Alex is caught??

How did the shooting end this time, did Alex just straight up miss or is there still a glass wall?

[cowboymantis]

(Spoiler free for the Yakuza amazon series, just vague thoughts! HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT WETHER YOU'VE PLAYED YAKUZA BEFORE OR NOT!!)

I didn't want to finish it yet (because that means it's over), but I have now finished the Yakuza show, and BOY did I already love the first episodes, but it was even more peak in the last ones 😭😭😭😭

I was so excited for it, although the fandom showed its annoying side again, but I didn't let that influence my happiness for it, and I just enjoyed it to the fullest 🙏 Of course I had some worries before watching, but it was just really good. Perfect? No, but let's not act like Yakuza 1 is perfect either (I'm saying this as someone who had Yakuzer brainrot for many years now and is never escaping it), and the fandom now all of a sudden wants to act like Yakuza 1 is the greatest masterpiece ever and how everything that changes it is BAD

Anyywayy...

Definitely really loved the focus being more on the Sunflower kids and how they grew up and eventually got tangled into the Yakuza business! It made one scene in particular WAAY more emotional and sad than in the games 🥺

And wow. They really bamboozled us with hiding a certain character from us, huh...

Loved how many actors I recognised :'D Some were definitely a surprise, because we didn't know much of the cast beforehand!

I remember when they first showed a photo of Indy, and I thought, huh. He kinda looks like Namioka Kazuki (Sid's actor from Kamen Rider Gaim). But I might imagine things because I've been watching some dramas with him in it (I absolutely love his roles they're so embarrassing but funny but also kinda adorable (like Sid for example 😭)). BUT THEN HE APPEARED AND IT TOTALLY WAS HIM . AND HE WAS WEARING A COWBOY HAT HELLO???

Another thing I enjoyed was the mystery around the demons! Something completely new that leaves you speculating from the start. I was guessing who they might be other than that they're working with a certain character, for the longest time I thought maybe they could be the Jingweon, because of the masks. Of course not saying anything to that, but yeah. I cannot really tell how much I liked the resolution to that, since uh. I have questions left ldjdkf

The finale was just great too, and this one scene that looked a lot like the Yakuza 7 finale...

And so so many beautiful and aesthetic scenes with Nishiki 🥲 He's truly the goat in every version... And a poor little meow meow 😭

At first, I was unsure if I could take him seriously because I knew his actor from the drama Super Salaryman and . Well. Let's just say he's unbearable (in a funny way).. But his actor really did SUCH a perfect job in portraying him, and sometimes his voice reminded me so much of game Nishiki 🥺

Speaking of Nishiki, a Yakuza stageplay Nishiki and Amazon series Kiryu collab would be funny. It would be like a Kamen Rider Gaim X Kamen Rider Drive collab, but Yakuza 💀 Kamen Rider and Yakuzer are always weirdly connected...

Oh!! And another thing, the soundtrack fr sounded like straight out of the games sometimes, it was really cool! And the music during the finale was so hype it probably could be a cool final boss theme in the games :) Or at least a final long battle theme!

Majima was fun too, although I feel like if you know absolutely nothing about Yakuza and Majima, you'd be a bit confused about him. He really feels like you have to know him to be excited about him, if that makes sense?

But then, on the other hand, there's a big "plot twist" at the end of the show, and it almost even feels like a dramatic cliffhanger. But it's something everyone who played the game knew, and I kinda assumed it a bit to be canon to the show too. So yeah, I feel like this is a bit of a problem with this show: It can't decide whether it is purely for fans of the games, or newcomers. Or maybe they just added a mix of game canon and new canon to make it more exiting for both sides? I always try to see criticism I give in another light, aka "why did they do it this way?", so I'm a bit conflicted in certain choices!

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World! Chapter 31: Play for Your Supper

What's this, a picture of Josha being used in my reread of a book told almost exclusively from the POV of the character he portrays? Bizarre! What else is bizarre is just how much I love spoiling the whole damn Wheel of Time series, so if you're not into that sort of thing it's time for you to get out of here. Begone!

This chapter opens with the icon of a heron-marked blade. It's a little odd since the sword doesn't come up too much in this chapter, whose "climax" revolves around the gleemen equipment. However, it is discussed, and Rand does have some complex thoughts about Tam. Still though, one of the odder choices.

A sudden gust swirled road dust up around him, obscuring everything. He blinked and adjusted the plain, dark scarf across his nose and mouth. None too clean now, it made his face itch, but it kept him from inhaling dust with every breath. A farmer had given it to him, a long-faced man with grooves in his cheeks from worry.

Yes folks, we're in that section of the story, where Rand does a bizarre flashback sequence that doubles around on itself so circuitously that many people assumed there was some kind of editing error. Frankly, I feel like Jordan's wife was a little distracted this section myself. The good news is, Jordan never does anything this confusing again. The bad news is, there's no counterbalancing bad news for me to use in a "good news/bad news" sequence.

One of them casually swung his eyes toward the hedge as he went by the opening, and Rand bared an inch of his sword. Mat snarled silently like a cornered badger, squinting above his scarf. His hand was under his coat; he always clutched the dagger from Shadar Logoth when there was danger. Rand was no longer sure if it was to protect himself or to protect the ruby-hilted dagger. Of late Mat seemed to forget he had a bow, sometimes.

I'm sure the best thing to do in this situation is to not worry about it, Rand. Absolutely nothing bad could be happening with your friend who is descending into paranoia before your very eyes. Of course, you've descended into paranoia too, so I guess the warning signs are hard to spot when you're busy assuming every dude on the road is trying to kill you.

Most traveled in the same direction that they did, eastward toward Caemlyn. Sometimes they got a ride in a farmer’s wagon for a little distance, a mile, or five, but more often they walked. Men on horseback they avoided; when they spotted even one rider in the distance they scrambled off the road and hid until he was past. None ever wore a black cloak, and Rand did not really think a Fade would let them see him coming, but there was no point in taking chances.

The good news about Logain's being captured and toured through Caemlyn is that the road is way too busy for any Fades to be wandering freely on it. Things had to play out this way or Rand would have been shanked on the roadside six miles out of Whitebridge.

Even if you go into one of those houses Tam won’t be there. If he was, could you look him in the face? You know, now, don’t you? Except for little things like where you come from and who you are.

Is it just being adopted that you know, Rand, or are you finding it harder to deny the other obvious truths?

Between them they had enough coins for a few meals at an inn, but a bed for the night would take too much. Things cost more outside the Two Rivers, more this side of the Arinelle than in Baerlon. What money they had left had to be saved for an emergency.

As someone who found that living on the outskirts of the civilized world made things cost more, not less, I'm curious as to if this checks out more in the economies of the Third Age.

They stood like that in the middle of the road until Mat suddenly gave an uncomfortable shrug, and dropped his eyes to the road. “Who would I sell it to, Rand? A farmer would have to pay in chickens; we couldn’t buy a carriage with chickens. And if I even showed it in any village we’ve been through, they’d probably think we stole it. The Light knows what would happen then.”

The dagger's quite lucky to have ended up with someone as clever as Mat, because while he's obviously being compelled not to part with the dagger, I think the specific arguments he makes are by and large his own.

“He’s up to something, I tell you,” Mat said. “See the way he wouldn’t meet my eye? Why are they so friendly to a couple of wanderers they never laid eyes on before? Tell me that.”

And here Mat is being paranoid but he's entirely correct: this farmer is deliberately choosing to screw them over by having them work and then kicking them out anyway.

It could have been worse, he thought. Three days earlier, while they were still working, they’d had the dogs set on them. The dogs, and the farmer, and his two sons waving cudgels chased them out to the Caemlyn Road and half a mile down it before giving up. They had barely had time to snatch up their belongings and run. The farmer had carried a bow with a broad-head arrow nocked. “Don’t come back, hear!” he had shouted after them. “I don’t know what you’re up to, but don’t let me see your shifty eyes again!”

And this is a different farmer who also fucked them over for some reason. What the hell kind of glowers was Mat giving them? Or did they finally notice the sword and freak?

Perrin would know how to handle this, he thought. He’d make some offhand comment, and pretty soon she’d be laughing at his jokes instead of mooning around where her father can see.

Rand, have you met Perrin?

He could never handle the instrument without a pang of sadness. Touching its gold-and-silver scrollwork was like touching Thom’s memory. He never handled the harp except to see that it was safe and dry—Thom had always said the harp was beyond a farmboy’s clumsy hands—but whenever a farmer allowed them to stay, he always played one tune on the flute after supper. It was just a little something extra to pay the farmer, and maybe a way of keeping Thom’s memory fresh.

It's a damn shame Moiraine didn't leave you some kind of sweet memento before she went to go live with the elves. Maybe you would have found a different outlet for your grief than what you picked. Also, the reference to the harp is a nice touch that will pay off next book when Thom is pissed that Rand ruined the strings.

“I think they should have a reward, father,” Mistress Grinwell said as she picked up her youngest boy, who had long since fallen asleep in front of the fire. “The barn is no fit place to sleep. They can sleep in Else’s room tonight, and she will sleep with me.” Else grimaced. She was careful to keep her head down, but Rand saw it. He thought her mother did, too. Master Grinwell nodded. “Yes, yes, much better than the barn. If you don’t mind sleeping two to a bed, that is.”

Mistress Grinwell is quite clever about handling her horny little daughter.

Rand and Mat are actually probably quite happy to avoid having a young lady drop into the barn in the night. They'd probably have panic attacks from the Trolloc memories alone.

Historically speaking, sleeping two a bed while traveling was quite common, so it's interesting that Grinwell thinks they might not like the concept. Sure it's probably just Jordan being a 20th century dude with 20th century norms, but I'll treat it as another subtle sign of the slow population drop that's been creeping up on society: much as the Emond's Field inn is far larger than it needs to be, all over the subcontinent is a surplus of furniture.

If there was more than one inn in a village, the innkeepers would bid for them once they heard Rand’s flute and saw Mat juggle. Together they still did not come close to a gleeman, but they were more than most villages saw in a year.

Okay, I was able to explain Whitebridge's gleeman enthusiasm, but this is too far. These people live on a well-traveled road between the capital city of Caemlyn and the major city of Whitebridge. They probably shouldn't be swarming with traveling entertainers, but they should do well enough. Where Emond's Field hiring a single performer for a holiday was a once-a-decade deal, these people should be pulling them frequently.

Ah well. Little details like this are some of the hardest worldbuilding to keep straight. Can't expect Jordan to be perfect if I'm not even going to read more than one chapter at a time - and we're at the end of this one. See ya next time for Four Kings!

[horsegamergirl]

Get to know:

Phoenix Nightpath!

She used to have brown hair, but after all the trips to Pandoria, it became lighter and lighter, until it stayed white. She sometimes dyes it, but she never knows how long the dye will last. Sometimes it disappears after a day and sometimes it stays for a month.

She's aroace and genderflux, she uses she/her pronouns preferably, but is also fine with they/them.

Probably has ADD, but she never got officially diagnosed.

She doesn't believe that a person can have only one soul horse. She thinks that you can have such special bond with many horses.

She's not always confident in the previous statement. What if she just hasn't found her soul horse yet and the bond with all her horses is not actually that strong?

She came to Jorvik originally for summer holidays but after leaving she missed it so much she decided to return and stay there. Her parents are happy that she's happy and support her. She misses them and they miss her, they call each other from time to time and she visits them at least a few times a year.

After horse riding, her favourite hobbies are playing videogames and watching shows, unfortunately for her, she doesn't really have anyone to talk to about them. She also makes a lot of references to them, even tho she knows that nearly no one will get them (but what if this time..?).

While she's on the side of soul riders, she doesn't always agree with what they're doing or how they solve things. Similarly, she doesn't always trust druids and their ways.

On the other hand, she's interested in druid magic. And soul riders magic. Also pandorian magic. She's interested in magic in general.

One of the spells she's the most proud of doing is the one that created a little place/room in her stable closet for her pets and magical friends of her horses. She doesn't have that much space in her place for them so she had to improvise. (It happened a few times that the room shrank, but nothing happened to the pets. They were just confused but okay waiting for Phoenix to return to the stable and fix it.) Some of the magical friends are not that comfortable around strangers yet so it allows them to be somewhere were they are not seen).

Speaking of her place, she lives at Starshine Ranch. She was deciding between Valedale and Starshine Ranch for a long while, but then something happened with the druids that she didn't really like/agree with and decided to not live that close to them. Also, she now lives closer to Dundull and Mistfall (she didn't want to live there exactly, because it felt a little bit too far away, but she thinks about it sometimes)

Every time she helped/saved a horse without an owner and others were wondering what to do it with it, Phoenix offered to take the horse, but she always got ignored. It nearly felt like they couldn't hear what she was saying...

That's all I can think of for now. Maybe I'll do part 2 if I figure out more info about her.

[upsidedownwanderer]

Howdy!! I don’t know how you found this account, but pretty cool that you did! Here’s my main if you’re interested

I am Astrophel—commonly known as Astro or Xurkit—and this is a side blog where I talk about The Upturned! Yeah I already do that on my main blog, but this digs into the stuff that I feel too embarrassed to share to the population! which is just. “hey what if I made my own story off an already canon one”

#wandering rambles - off topic posts

#upsidedownwanderer - story stuff. I am too lazy to put it all into separate tags

Below are character descriptions! Ocs included </33

Mr. Me Avi - The Traveler (he/they)

A lone soul who found the Upturned Inn by luck. Although their face is always unemotional, they’re easily irritable. Their mood consists of passive aggressive muttering or screaming at the nearest moving thing from fear. His anger is never sudden, instead it build ups over encounters—he’s actually quite polite at first. A few years in the apocalypse does that to you.

Ikabod Kee - The Receptionist (he/him)

A chipper snake-like soul that is stationed at the front desk of the Upturned Inn. He’s always in a good mood, and it’s hard to crack the smile on his face! A bit loud from time to time, but that’s out of excitement over seeing another face.

Shrimp - The Anomaly (it/he)

A soul locked away in one of the asylum rooms. Doesn’t show much emotion either, only reacting to toys or food. Ik occasionally calls it “Artie.”

Sobbergritch - The Inventor (he/him)

The current owner of the Upturned Inn. Hasn’t been seen or found in a long time, as it’s been told he’s in the deepest parts of the hotel. Rarely will he interrupt conversations between Avi and Ik, and the reason why is unknown. It’s hard to tell if there’s malicious intent.

The Horseman - Death (they/he/it)

A myth to many, a man to few. Guests of the inn speak of a glowing figure on horseback guiding those out of the rain, therefore out of the afterlife. They have many titles: “Death,” “The Lone Rider,” “The Morning,” but we don’t know his actual name.

OCS!! Because they’re fun and this is MY story /j

The Widow (she/her)

A soul that sulks in her own room day and night. According to guests, she still mourns over the loss of her husband, stating that “although he left me for another woman, I still love him..” When she’s not sobbing over a man, she’s very comforting to be around. A motherly figure despite having no children.

Critter (he/him)

A lil chuckler that prefers to follow the crowd. Even when showing clear excitement about something, he seems to stay quiet, as he’s afraid of bringing attention to himself. Calls Ik quite often—the two apparently see each other as family.

Flauna (they/them)

A caterpillar-like soul that’s trapped in a floor overgrown by flora. The vines of roses seem to not let anything in or out unless you’re using the elevator. A kind soul even in loneliness. If they aren’t talking about flowers, they’re probably talking about their husband. (❤️ - Sobbergritch)

Ides (any/all)

A mysterious figure that trudges through the forest outside of the Inn. Critter and Widow have found a way to leave their floors without being caught, and have met with xim before. It’s hard to fully tell what xey look like, as her body is constantly shifting into different silhouette, but you’ll always manage to find his looking eyes.

Lars (they/he/it) (belongs to @fiowersfield)

A bug like humanoid that has been lost in the afterlife for a while! they dont have a specific place where they stay at and keep wandering around, mostly following lights that they see. they are interested in the stars and usually look up at them sometimes when they get too lost in the woods. as a hobby they "draw" ( doodles in dirt ) as a way to spend some time. usually pretty nice but mostly confused because they dont think a lot. (❤️ - The Horseman)

[horizon-verizon]

Hello there

I wanted to ask you something about the dragons in Asoiaf. Now with all the flaws HOTD has , i think there is something bothers me deeply about the portrayal of dragons in general.

In the book , Sunfyre despite being maimed , wounded and hungry, she flies hundred miles with only one healthy wing just to get back to her rider because she "sensed" his need for her. Vhaegar screamed in the same moment Aemond lost his eye. Alysanne's dragon refused to go beyond the wall , probably because it felt the others presence or sensed some Strong magical powers. And when Dany hatched the dragons eggs and brought them back from extinction , some characters said that the magic in the world has become much stronger and more powerful thanks to the birth of the dragons.

Now correct me if i am wrong, It's been a long time since I've read the books so i might be mistaken. However if a dragon can sense their rider's need for them, or can feel their pain , or feel that there is magic around them, or can make magic stronger by their presence . When other animals can't sense or do all of that , wouldn't that means the dragons are magical creatures by nature ? Why Hotd treat them as if they're some wild uncontrollable and stinky animals? Why they put this "the idea that we control the dragons is an illusion" was it from Grrm directly, if so then how old Valeryia was able to conquer the world at that time if they can't even control their dragons ?

When other animals can't sense or do all of that , wouldn't that means the dragons are magical creatures by nature ? Why Hotd treat them as if they're some wild uncontrollable and stinky animals? Why they put this "the idea that we control the dragons is an illusion" was it from Grrm directly, if so then how old Valeryia was able to conquer the world at that time if they can't even control their dragons?

Firstly, there is a fan theory that dragons were created from blood sorcerers breeding wyverns/fire worms. And that the bond between human/Valyrian and dragon was created when they were cross-bred through blood magic/sacrifice.

So already there is confusion amongst fans not only whether or not dragons a re natural beings or magical, but that what “natural” even means in ASoIaF as opposed to magic. GRRM already stated how magic-wielding is not totally natural & definitely risky--that if you use magic you’re likely messing with things that could very much go out of your control very easily:

GRRM: If their [general magic practitioners] magic actually worked, then they would’ve ruled the world. But their magic works sometimes, if suddenly you got a bad case of boils, you would blame the old woman down the road that gave you the boils, for you didn’t like her. And then if you could convince people, they might hang her or set her on fire. But she couldn’t give boils to everyone or she would do that. It was… magic was unreliable, it was dangerous. And I think that’s also true of dragons and blood magic and… everything magical and sorcerous that goes on in my world, it’s not easy. You’re evoking things that maybe you shouldn’t mess with.

Aziz: So there would’ve been some accidents, presumably.

George: And yes. And there have been. For example, Doom of Valyria.

Why this matters is that Valyrian magic, many argue, made all the dragons we have had and have existed, so this theory would set up how dragons and Valyrian-descended people could have their bonds with dragons and how Dany’s dragons display more emotional intelligence than your average horse or rabbit. I personally would align a dragon’s intelligence with whales or elephants, even a bit more since we’re encouraged to see “facial” expressions. 

I think that dragons have very strong learned/innate instincts like other nonhuman animals, but ultimately are also creatures with magical blood and magical connections to those they bond with (except Nettles, that was a case of rarity).

*EDIT (9/7/23)* Therefore, the rider has enough of a bond with the dragon to ensure its willingness to obey most commands but not against its deepest instincts of survival of self and /or rider against other magical forces. Aemond & Vhagar therefore actually doesn't make sense because Vhagar nor he were in any danger--- they were the danger--Vhagar is the older, bigger dragon and has lived with other, smaller dragons who could either "misbehave" or she would just ignore more often than not because they are literally nonthreats to her massive self. It doesn't make sense that she ignores her rider to "deal" with a scared youngster, and it is far more likely that it would be his rage propelling Vhagar to attack Arrax when Arrax blew his fire at Vhagar. *END OF EDIT*

And HotD does display this sort of intelligence with Syrax in episode 2, where Rhaenyra goes to retrieve the egg Daemon took.

Through Vhagar in episodes 6 and 7.

And arguably through Caraxes in episode 10 where he just appears out of nowhere behind Daemon after he talks to the guardsmen about their loyalties.

All of these examples make Viserys’ quote about “that we control the dragons is an illusion” dumb as hell because it doesn’t focus on how Viserys misunderstands dragons and the bond (post by ozymalek) and his own policy of pacification (post by howlandsmovingcastle) affects how unprepared Rhaenyra was against her foes, allows her foes to prepare against her in the first place for her to be also unprepared and out of the Red Keep, invite back the man who is plotting against her (Otto), etc. We’re left to take Viserys at his word that dragonriders do not have as solid a bond with their dragons....yet he only rode Balerion once.

So to answer the question, they wanted to move away from Aemond killing Lucerys intentionally as he does in the book to “make the greens more complicated”. I disagree with that notion.

[polarnacht1]

I've got two asks coming for you just so you know ;) 5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [fic of your choice]? Answer it now! and 31. What’s your ideal fic length to write? (from questions for fic writers)

bring all the questions 😂 thank you for asking!

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [fic of your choice]? Answer it now! uh, I had to dig a little through my fics, there are so many things but of course my mind went immediately blank 😂 I think it would be to A Matter of Time, my Yassen/Yasha time travel fic and the question is: Did Yasha at some point realize that the man who gave him hope and the scar was he himself? My answer is: yes, but only rather late, only when he learned about time travel through scorpia. There will be a phrase he says that throws him back to that time & together with his image in the mirror he will realize that it was he himself - though he can't be 100% certain. Did that make sense? Probably not. Time travel is so confusing 😂

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write? (from questions for fic writers) I think around 30 k - long enough to develop the characters and the plot, but not so long it occupies so much of your time. Though I really love to write longer things too, around 50 k or even the 70 k fic I currently write and absolutely love. And sometimes writing just one single scene without having to focus on plot is so freeing and satisfying. For Alex Rider I have yet to write something longer, but I do have an idea for that...

[jacobarek]

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[littledogtarot]

The Two of Swords can be an enigmatic card to draw. It's in the suit of swords, which often has negative connotations, but the picture on the card isn't outrightly hostile. More just...weird. Our girl is sitting there calmly in front of the sea, holding two crossed swords in front of her chest. While blindfolded. What are we to make of all that?

Traditionally, the Two of Swords represents a choice that needs to be made. Like, now. A choice you know you need to make, but that you've been putting off for a while now because you don't want to deal with the consequences. The crossed swords our girl is holding represent two seemingly balanced, opposing forces. Can you imagine how heavy they must be? She can't keep holding them forever. Her blindfold represents her refusal to see what's right in front of her: the fact that she must make a choice, and that she probably already knows which option she should choose.

There can be many reasons to avoid tough choices. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings. We don't want to hurt our own feelings. We don't want to follow-through on the outcome of the decision. We don't want to deal with the reality that something must change. But the more we use excuses to shirk our responsibility, the worse we feel, and the worse the outcome potentially gets.

It's like watching a piece of cheese grow mold in the fridge. The longer we sit in inaction, refusing to stand up and toss it, the moldier it gets. Nothing improves by letting the situation fester.

The Two of Swords says that there's a time for careful consideration, and there's a time to act, and the time to act is now. We know the right decision. All it takes is setting down one of the swords so we can pull off our own blindfold, stand up, and move forward. Trust that you know what choice to make. Then make it.

Does the Two of Swords resonate with you? When I pulled it today, I have to admit I was confused at first. What kind of hard choice was I putting off? I spent some time searching for something suitably life-altering before I realized that the card might just be telling me to get off my ass and get back to a project I'd been avoiding. Sometimes scary-seeming cards can provide advice for everyday situations—and listening to that advice can keep things from ballooning to bigger proportions!

Deck is the Rider-Waite-Smith deck.

[soul-dwelling]

Nah I think the fact that we already had the plotpoint of Jonah changing the looks of charachters, the later doppelganger plot feels like a later idea - so Iris was probably not planned to be some thought-form. Just the whole orphanage situation debunks it, and makes me think that probably it really was about making biological clones to power Ametarasu or something (maybe a good scientist took her away and put her into the orphanage, so she wouldnt end up like Ametarasu, but depends on how early the orphanage was hinted to be evil)

Spoiler warnings for Fire Force and, of all things, Blue Exorcist, Gargoyles, and Fullmetal Alchemist.

Konro did fight his doppelganger in the Asakusa Arc, however, before the Nether Arc revealed Amaterasu looking like Iris. Granted, the story could have waved that away and insist the Konro doppelanger was also a clone, or, since Jonah was involved in that arc, too, was someone else altered to look like Konro. Maybe the story could have changed that later to make the Konro doppelganger into another clone, but I am starting to doubt more and more that cloning would have been the explanation. 

(The cloning approach also would make Fire Force become way too similar to Blue Exorcist...Granted, Fire Force is already too similar to Blue Exorcist: Shinra is pretty much a Rin lookalike with similar powers, similar angst over parental and sibling issues, maybe a little similar personality, similar interest in a Kamen Rider expy, and a similar devil and flames motif.) 

And yeah, your thinking is pretty much the same as my friend elliotthezubat, who, before the doppel reveal, thought that Iris was one of a number of lookalikes who were periodically sacrificed to keep the Amaterasu power plant running. Then the manga did the doppel stuff, then seemed to imply that for all the talk of all the religions being bullshit that “gods” still existed, then did the confusing explanation about Shinra and Sho’s mother and the Evangelist--and along with all the other nonsense in that series’s final arc (Ohkubo using Tamaki for his gross soapbox speech), I had lost patience with this shitty series. 

I do wonder when the orphanage was first hinted to be evil, because even the reveal about who Sumire really was felt, not like a retcon exactly, but definitely a "this could have been set up better and earlier" problem. You couldn't have made it more obvious that Sumire looks like someone we already met before? Even Gargoyles hanged a lampshade pointing out how similar Owen and Vogel looked before that shocking reveal--a reveal that was foreshadowed a long time ago.

What was the worst the orphanage did beyond discouraging Hibana from using her flame ability? That wasn't the worst practical advice ("little kids shouldn't be using fire, everyone is jittery because people keep turning into pyrokinetics"), but maybe it was hinting at hypocrisy within the religion ("we preach that we should worship the sun but hate fire")...except, you know, the sun is all the way out there, that's not quite the same as fire--ugh, my self-doubts about the logic of this series would not be so bothersome if the series ended better.

I can appreciate not revealing the evil origins of the orphanage and the Church and on and on until far later so as not to inundate an audience with more than they can process--but sometimes you want a series to not toy with the audience just for the sake of a stupid plot twist (I am irate about recent Bungo Stray Dogs episodes...), or you want a series to fix stuff in adaptation (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood fixed so many problems I had with the original manga, and all they did to fix it was have Episode 1 say, "We're already starting with Father and alkahestry so that the Ling stuff later doesn't seem like such a narrative swerve or potential retcon that will confuse new manga readers who only know the 2003 anime").

[arrowheadedbitch]

Very much a "Do you think I could do a back flip off of this table?" "Do two." Dynamic

They get bored in their holding cell and start verbally going through an unhinged training exercise together

Everyone is extremely concerned and confused

Scarlet: If we weren't in a holding cell right now I'd point a gun at you

Shawn: I'd kiss you

Scarlet: Ooooo, I'd kiss you back

Shawn: I'd throw you against the wall and take the gun from you

Scarlet: I'd springboard off the wall and jump at you

Shawn: I'd sidestep and point the gun at you

Vick, Juliet, and Lassie on the other side of the glass:

Lassie's jealous that Shawn and this random woman have so much chemistry right when Shawn is the hottest he's ever been

"Shawn who the fuck IS this woman"

"So, your name is ...Debra Wichovsky, correct?"

"Yes."

"Then why did he call you Serena earlier?"

"SHAWN!"

"IM SORRY!"

Shawn, suddenly speaking in french: I'm sorry! You have so many fake names, Scar, it's hard to keep track!

Scar, also in french: This is your whole job! The only thing you had to do was call me Debbie!!! That was *it*!

Lassie is soooo pissed

Slamming his hands on the table and shit and surprised to see that neither of them flinch

You know, his regular interrogation tactic

Shawn and Scarlet are equally good at bullshitting which is nice and comes in handy

@obsidiancreates "Good thing Gus isn't there, the jealousy might kill him"

Shawn having this good of chemistry??? With a hot woman he didn't know Shawn knew???

I do imagine Gus is at the precinct tho, or at least was, so he is equally confused about the situation

@obsidiancreates "And Shawn doing seamless Bits with someone else

"THAT'S OUR THING"

"HE'S CALLING HER STUPID FAKE NAMES!!!"

Even fully Platonic, Gus feels cheated on"

Right now they're being interrogated, he's not going to SURVIVE seeing them on the field together

Poor gus

I would LOVE to see *Henry's* reaction

I imagine he's mentioned him to her before and he didn't have much nice things to say....

One time she called Shawn Agent Daddy Issues and they got into a *BIG* fight

I mean could you *imagine*

I'd chew her out too

I imagine there's lots of yelling and maybe even since throwing things

They switched out of English 30 seconds into the argument

She ends up apologizing but in that "Okay! Stop yelling!" way

Two months later she calls him Agent Mommy Issues because she hasn't learned her lesson

@obsidiancreates "almost gets shot"

Fr But this time the argument goes a more "I do NOT have mommy issues!" route because, yknow, he's in denial

OOOOOOO Scar helping Psych on a case:

Shawn: How do we get in?

Scarlet: Well...we could always try...Operation Stick it to the Man?

Shawn: Oh, I have MISSED you!

Gus: What's Operation Stick it to the Man?

Shawn: Haven't you ever been a teenager?

Shawn then proceeds to have an overdramatic temper tantrum while breaking shit in front of the suspect while Scarlet sneaks in behind him

Works everytime

Also, depending on when Scar comes into town, Shawn *would* have a secret gun for part of the show 👀👀

I'm imagining sometime AFTER shot in the dark

I wonder how having a gun would help his cases

It's a secret gun so he wouldn't pull it often

"Hi, I'm Shawn Spencer and this is my associate Honey Rider, and to my left you'll see my partner, Ace Jet Fuel-"

"You introduced her first?🥺 And gave her a sillier nickname??🥺😭Jail for Shawn! Jail for a thousand years! 😭😭😭"

Shawn is begging gus for forgiveness

But still calls Scarlet Fiona Volpe next time he sees her

Then Patricia Fearing, then Dink, he's really digging his own grave here

Speaking of digging a grave

She kisses Shawn

Shawn: You just poisoned me, didn't you?

Scarlet: You know me so well.

Walks away

Scarlet, yelling back to him: Twenty minutes!

Shawn: 20 minutes till it kicks in or 20 minutes till I die?!

Scarlet: 20 minutes!

Shawn, reaching for his phone: I HATE YOU! Hello, 911? Yes, I've been poisoned.

Shawn: I've been told I have 20 minutes

Omg Shawn after Shot in the Dark playing it off like "pshhh, it wasn't that bad, really, they didn't even try to torture me."

And now his friends are reasonably EXTREMELY worried

Especially since he refuses to elaborate

"Scarlet, I thought I said *no guns*!"

"It's *Debra*"

"Scarlet, Debbie, Hannah, Sara, Serena, Tiffany, Gretchen, who CARES just put the gun away!!"

Still on the cia au, they name every tactic they have, for example Confuse and Conquer is just confuse the guy until they let their guard down

They like to name them because it's fun and silly and movie like

They should have movie reference ones too

One called Shaken Not Stirred but I can't for the life of me think of what it would be

Maybe it just means Distract/Interrogate the Bartender

Or replace the bartender with a plant

Scarlet: Let's replace the bartender with a plant

Shawn: I like pineapple tree

Scarlet: Not like that, you idiot

Scarlet: Do pineapples grow on trees?

Shawn: You know, I don't know

I would like to add that their supervisors fucking HATE these

They keep getting reprimanded but they're too good at what they do to be *actually* punished

Shawn was very disappointed when he didn't get one of these

"What do you MEAN you don't have laser lipstick!? What's even the POINT of being a SPY!?!?!?"

PT5/??

Okay guys, time for a long overdue post

Welcome to my CIA!Shawn au

And yes most of this is copy-pasted from discord, leave me be

AU where Shawn used to be a spy 👀👀👀

Old spy partner coming to sb to ask for Shawn's help 👀

I'm more interested in how it would affect the *Despereaux* dynamic tbh

And yeah the traveling the world thing with the many many jobs was the perfect cover

Imagining secret agent Shawn au, him and his partner (her name is scarlet but he usually calls her one of those BAD James Bond ones) have a tactic they call Operation Stick It To The Man

Her name changes every mission like he pretends gus does, because she's a spy so sometimes she's Scarlet and other times she Sara or Debbie or whatever, ykniw

Stick it to the man: It's probably just Shawn goes in and fucks shit up, how he does it is up to him, judgement call, but being destructive is encouraged, while she sneaks in

Also, I don't know why I do this to myself but I came up with her real identity and it's Scarlet Featherman, don't ask why, it quite literally came to me in a dream

And yes she is fine with Shawn calling her Pussy Galore, she thinks is just as funny as he does

I love aus where it's like "Yeah, no, Shawn has had a SUPER high profile job before, in fact maybe he still has it now"

This includes but is not limited to "Oh no, he's a cop, just for a different department." "Yeahh Shawn is in the CIA, he's keeping so many government secrets right now" and "Shawn was a spy. He kinda left the organize and kinda didn't, it's complicated, let's go break something!"

The last one is mine btw lol

I've been thinking about it nonstop for daysssss

If I write it I'm naming the fic "Agent P as in Pineapple"

New OC: Scarly Feather

Lesson learned: Don't be eepy when thinking out an au

This is where we got a more specific channel and I moved there so I'll call that a good ending point

PT 1/?