#sometimes loneliness gives you a HUGE GUN FULL OF METAPHORS

[corvuscorona]

my wife just came upstairs to talk to me for like 45 minutes about things that are fucked up about these books so i completely lost whatever thread i was on here but it's fine just roll with me for a second

unfortunately i'm an expert. about this. the THING about this AUTHOR is that she has experienced Too Much Body Loneliness and hasn't found a non-writing way to process it yet. i know this because the thing in htn about harrow just like casually having the body show up to literally hold her like it's this familiar matter-of-fact occurrence slapped me in the face so hard i spun around like a cartoon AND because every bizarre tangent she writes abt palamedes and camilla is so (gestures) i'm becoming more insane. these books make me insane.

of course her perfect newborn embodiment of ??some kind of idealized Earth-ness is obsessed with physicality and touch and EXPLICITLY ASKS how the other, non-perfect not-newborn-embodiment characters can go without it to the extent that they do; she has this. IDEA in her head about. i mean it isn't an IDEA it's a collection of obsessive thoughts orbiting the UNDERSTANDABLE HUMAN NEED FOR RELIABLE AFFECTIONATE TOUCH, that she writes SO WELL and so un-shut-uppably about that i can't POSSIBLY believe she's, like, personally gotten over her own chronic struggle with not having it met.

i like ianthe because she's evil and insane. i don't like gideon much because she feels like a cardboard caricature of something tamsyn heard someone on twitter say abt Strong Women Or Maybe ? Useless Lesbians But Some Wires Got Crossed one time but that's more like a personal problem i have. it didnt impede my enjoyment of the first book, which had great pacing after the first hundred pages and was A Story, right.

but the thing about the first book was that even though it had a great cast of characters. with varied interpersonal relationships with each other. and stuff. there was this NOTABLE shortage of

believable affectionate gestures

and believable like. positive? thought? patterns? eg. from gideon's internal monologue / narration About harrow - the book tells me they're. in sasunaru with each other but i don't believe it at the beginning and i don't believe it throughout canaan house and i'm like sitting there reading the Pool Scene, arms crossed, bogos binted because it DOES NOT FEEL.

so i start to wonder what the fuck is going on. & speculate about it during Household Philosophy Hour for a bit and then harrow the FUCKING ninth comes out

and i read it and i go OHHHHHH. OH. OH I SEE because where the first book was a fun danganronpa murder mystery Clue novel story narrative, the second book is

1. NOTABLY self-indulgent (she reverts to 2nd person, of homestuck fame, and seems to find the inside of harrow's head a more natural place to operate from)

2. paced like shit and

3. PARTLY AS A RESULT OF THE PACING, an AMAZING evocation of fucking. TRAUMA BRAIN

& harrow's trauma is about MISSING someone she can't allow herself to remember (weird hole-in-the-heart. ache of unknown origin. weakness of character; unfixable; where would you even start?) but it's also about DESPERATELY WANTING something [embodied by . The Body] that she HASN'T EVER HAD.

so now i have her clocked. i enjoy the second book for this + other reasons. (after having finished the rest of this Post: now editing in the requisite Mercymorn Mention. Press F on your keyboards at home for a real one.) then the third book comes out and it's all

- nona (embodiment of a !!! Lost Thing !!!) has this FIXATION on tactile physical stuff and body language

- the only 2 convincingly In Love characters can't interact with each other VERBALLY except in writing, let alone physically

- i can't. describe. in words how VISCERAL that part was about nona kissing cam on the hand & camilla going and sitting in the empty bathtub in the dark for like an hour I HAVE NOT IN THIS LIFE ENCOUNTERED EVIDENCE that a person can WRITE something like that without DIRECT PERSONAL EXPERIENCE in the realm of NOT BEING OKAY, THAT THEY ARE ALSO OBSESSED WITH AND NOT OVER.

tamsyn muir got platonic-married to a guy she met via homestuck fandom activities online. dedicated nona the ninth to him AS. HER. MOIRAIL (HOMESTUCK TERMINOLOGY FOR 'PLATONIC SOULMATE WHO MAKES ME NOT MURDEROUSLY INSANE'). and she WROTE that. she's not just horny about this subject she's CONSUMED WITH A LUST THAT IS INSEPERABLE FROM AN EQUALLY ALL-CONSUMING GRIEF

which is why i mostly find the shit pacing of the third book

1. anthropologically fascinating

2. To Be A Serious Indictment Of Not Only Her Editor But In Fact Her Entire Social Circle and also

3. funny sorry it's really funny she got LOST in self-fanfiction hell on the way to the end of this grand sweeping plot about how a mediocre guy became god and ruined the whole universe, which she BARELY bothers to stop and worldbuild about, STILL, w/ his mediocrity because she CAN'T

STOP

TELLING ON HERSELF and NOBODY told her "please keep it together for one (1) last book. tamsyn. pleas e"

listened to 1/3 of nona the ninth today and YES tamsyn muir still needs to be dragged OUT of her own stupid head to get therapy. and more life experiences

[aili]

Valentine’s Day Music Newlsetter 2019!

Welcome to the 13th Music Newsletter! Short intro for the newbies - I love music. I love sharing music with other people. In college I started a "music newsletter" email with some playlists (aka mixtapes) I've made and some song/band recommendations. Why Valentine's Day? Because I think this day should be about love in many ways - including love for music!

That brings us to today. The first Valentine's Day mixtape I put together was actually a physical mix CD that I mailed to my home friends while I was away at college. That was in 2008 (11 years ago!). A lot has changed since then, but my love of music has not. While I feel sometimes too busy or too old or too out of touch to know what I'm even talking about, I hope you'll get some enjoyment out of this - as much as I've been enjoying listening to these songs and picking them for you! 

*Click here to download Valentine's Day 2019 mixtape!

Click here to play Valentine's Day 2019 on Spotify!

*Note that the file downloads as a zip file, double clicking on it to open it up should give you the individual songs. Then move the songs to iTunes into a playlist!

1.) "Happy Unhappy" - The Beths New Zealand indie rockers The Beths debut album, Future Me Hates Me, is full of catchy, energetic sad-twinged songs. This song feels like it could have come out back in the 00s when we had to find new music by reading blogs and actually downloading MP3s - it feels closer to the Garden State soundtrack era of indie than the recent moody electronic vibe. It's a lot of fun! Sounds like Courtney Barnett by way of The Wombats, with a splash of Los Campesinos.

2.) “City Looks Pretty” - Courtney Barnett Courtney’s 2018 album “Tell Me How You Really Feel” is only her second studio album, but somehow it feels like she’s been around forever. The album features a “fuller” sound and more production, which may appear dulled next to 2015’s “Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit.” However, I feel excited by Courtney exploring a more mature sound and think it accurately reflects the albums depressive theme. “Sometimes I get mad / it’s not all that bad” is sung with a definite apathy compared to her shout-singing past record. As the bridge settles in, Courtney captures the depression symptom of lack of interest in things you used to enjoy. The city looks pretty when you’ve been stuck inside isolated for two weeks. 3.) “Screwed” - Janelle Monáe feat. Zoë Kravitz Janelle’s 2018 album “Dirty Computer” is an anthology of songs (and truly, poetry) that tell of reckoning with being a queer woman of color in an oppressive, violent society. It’s an incredibly personal album with her fans in mind - “I want young girls, young boys, nonbinary, gay, straight, queer people who are having a hard time dealing with their sexuality, dealing with feeling ostracized or bullied for just being their unique selves, to know that I see you. This album is for you. Be proud.” (Rolling Stone, 2018). My favorite part of this song is “See, everything is sex / except sex / which is power / you know power is just sex / now ask yourself who’s screwing you.”

4.) "BAGDAD - Cap.7: Liturgia" - Rosalía 25-year-old Rosalía Vila Tobella from Catalonia has an excellent 2018 album El Mal Querer. The album combines traditional flamenco with modern R&B. The album is a story of love and heartbreak over the course of 11 chapters/songs. This particular one might sound familiar due to the sampling of Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me A River."

5.) "Gun" - St. Lucia St. Lucia's first release off of their 2018 album Hyperion caught my attention with its connection to a more traditional rock sound and the heavy-hitting, one-word title. The production and sound almost reminds me of Oasis or U2. Turns out that the album is indeed produced by someone who worked on records with PJ Harvey, Depeche Mode, and U2. In interviews, Jean-Philip Grobler talks about how this song is generally about both gun control and power. "You said you wanted to feel a gun in your hands" in Verse 1 transforms to "You said you wanted to feel the blood in your hands" in Verse 2, highlighting the fact that guns are designed to kill. 

6.) “Apathy” - Frankie Cosmos With a catchy bass line, gorgeous lyrics, and endearing vocals, this song and entire album are not to be missed. As you may notice on this year’s playlist, this year I was super into what I would describe as punk-influenced, low-fi indie female vocalists. Pretentious enough for you? Haha. I just mean that there are a ton of young women blowing up in the indie music scene with a huge crossover in sound. As demonstrated in “Apathy,” many of these songs are short, lack a traditional pop music format, use low-fi production, and have a storytelling aspect of almost speak-singing. These elements are all found in traditional punk music, so it’s interesting and exciting to see these artists shaking things up and challenging the punk genre. Frankie Cosmos has a long history of creating music, under various projects using Bandcamp as a teenager. Her 2018 album “Vessel” is nothing short of delightful and another one of my favorites of the year. 7.) “Your Dog” - Soccer Mommy Soccer Mommy is Sophie Allison, singer-songwriter based out of Nashville. She opened for Paramore on their recent tour and she has launched into the indie music scene with a lot of attention in the past couple years. I love how her voice clearly carries so much anger as she sings about an emotionally abusive relationship. Her lyrics describe the agony of small, sweet gestures pushing her back to her ex, despite her wanting desperately to end it. Using the metaphor of being a loyal, sub-servient dog, she describes the way her SO treats her like she’s his property. Because the song lacks a traditional “pop” format (verse 1 / chorus / verse 2 / chorus / bridge / chorus), there is a sense of the story ending unresolved. Fortunately, she has an excellent album (one of my favorites) from 2018 called “Clean” where you can learn more of her story. 8.) “Pristine” by Snail Mail A stunning debut from 19-year-old Lindsey Jordan, “Lush” is a 2018 release not to miss. “Pristine” perfectly encapsulates teenage life and love - “it just feels like the same party every weekend. Doesn’t it?” There is such a sense of genuine hormonal angst that she is almost joyfully celebrating. Her album reads more like a diary - and how lucky she is to have these future memories and be able to approach them with such wisdom.

9.) "Uncomfortably Numb" - American Football feat. Hayley Williams Paying homage to Pink Floyd, legendary emo band American Football joins with Paramore's lead singer Hayley Williams for a devastating track about losing emotional sensation. "I blame my father in my youth / Now as a father, I blame the booze." I couldn't find too much information on the exact inspiration behind the track, but it's the second track released off their upcoming album out March 22nd. Hayley is usually front and center as a singer, and it's interested to hear her take more of a backing role, as well as explore a bit of a lower vocal range than she usually does.

10.) “Geyser” - Mitski Mitski absolutely killed it last year with “Be The Cowboy,” which was consistently rated not only in the top 5 best albums, not only top 3, but making MULTIPLE end of year lists as the number one album of 2018. It’s easy to see why, given the incredible breadth of music she wrote for her album. I see Mitski's influence reflected in the rise of fame in other punk-inspired female vocalists in the indie scene, building off her ability to capture the attention of a wide audience. Which is also very interesting because she incorporated elements of many other genres on this album (spot any disco on “Nobody”?) While it was difficult to pick one song for my playlist, “Geyser” stands out to me as not only an excellent album opener, but a fascinating look into Mitski’s own relationship with the art she creates. In an interview, she explains that this song is about her feeling like she has to create music because she would never be satisfied in life without it, but feeling sometimes stifled, stuck, and resentful when she puts music above basic needs such as her health and self-care. She needs her art to survive but it simultaneously kills her.

11.) “Me & My Dog” - boygenius It’s impossible to pick just one song of this album. Boygenius is the supergroup of Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus, and Julien Baker - who each could also have one of their incredible solo songs on my playlist. Partially because they enjoyed each other’s creative energies and partially as a response to constantly being compared to each other as “women in indie,” the trio came together to create an EP of emo-influenced, folk-inspired gorgeous tracks about grief, loneliness, identity, and heartbreak. This particular song features Phoebe Bridgers in the verses and is a beautiful representation of the embarrassing and frustrating feeling of being in love with an ex. Please check out the individual work of these artists too!

12.) "bless ur heart" - serpentwithfeet Serpentwithfeet, aka Josiah Wise, has a gorgeous, intimate voice throughout his 2018 debut album, soil. This song starts off with a question of how his art will be received by the world. The rest of the song is a tender message of gratitude to his first love. It seems like Josiah questioned the choice to speak about his experiences with his ex in such a public fashion - with complexities of privacy, being open about sexuality, and possible painful memories on the table. Josiah's writing is very much like poetry, and his raw, unfiltered, un-autotuned vocals match the beauty of his words.

13.) "Bury A Friend" - Billie Eilish 17-year-old Billie Eilish is set to release her debut album, When We Sleep, Where Do We Go? next month. This song matches her goth aesthetic with a creepy story from the perspective of the monster under the bed. We learn that the monster is part of Billie herself, who is struggling with her own demons. 14.) "Loading Zones" - Kurt Vile A gorgeous guitar track, Kurt Vile paints a picture of his hometown Philadelphia and feeling on top of the world exploring his city's streets. He included a hilarious marketing strategy of sending fake parking tickets to fans in the mail to promote the song. Kurt Vile talks about the metaphor of "I park for free," which is how he sometimes lives his life - breaking the dumb rules because it's his life, his streets, his town. 15.) "Dylan Thomas" - Better Oblivion Community Center Is it possible to already be nostalgic for the late 2000's? Conor Oberst and Phoebe Bridgers released this surprise collaboration last month and this is the standout track for me. Conor Oberst's incredibly recognizable voice is hard to match in terms of strength, timbre, and uniqueness. While Bridgers is young enough to be from a different generation than him (she also grew up listening to Oberst's music), he saw something in her that resonated with him. I love how they sing in unison on this track (and much of the album) and think their voices sound really good together.

16.) "Butterflies" - Kacey Musgraves Kacey Musgraves is bringing a breath of fresh air to country. After self-releasing three albums, she tried her hand at reality TV through Nashville Star over a decade ago. Golden Hour is her fourth album using a record label, and she just won Album of the Year at the Grammys! Her voice is beautiful and has an earnest, authentic approach in joining elements of country pop. 

17.) “Prior Things” - Hop Along “Bark Your Head Off, Dog” is Hop Along’s third album, released in 2018. Singer/songwriter Frances Quinlan has the ability to transform the themes of her songs. Layered with a multitude of different sounds and instruments, it could easily sound scattered and busy, but instead feels like we are huddled around a campfire with an enthusiastic, stream-of-consciousnesses storyteller. “Prior Thing” is the last song on the album and crosses time, space, and memories with the start of a hallucinogenic drug trip. She has the ability to take a phrase and transform the expected - pausing or elongating notes at unexpected places. This method keeps you invested in figuring out what the song is really about or what the conclusion is. 18.) "Kids" - Pup Emo/pop punkers Pup have a new album Morbid Stuff coming out on April 5th. Their songs are made for live shows - shouting/singing alternates, sing-a-long catchy lyrics reminiscent of the Hold Steady, and unison whole-band lines. Pup frontman Stefan Babcock said this song is about finding someone who agrees with your view of the world being a fucked up place, and enjoying small moments of solace in spending time with them. 

SPOTIFY

Don't forget to subscribe to my playlists on Spotify! Here is the link to listen to this year's mixtape on Spotify.

I try to add new songs at least once a week to this playlist: What I'm currently lovin' (updated freq)

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I hope you guys enjoy the new music and feel free to send me recommendations of anything you like!<3 aili

Previous Mixtapes:

Autumn Love mix | Autumn Love Spotify

Copenhagen mix | Copenhagen Spotify

Valentine's Day downbeat 2010

Valentine's Day upbeat 2010

Valentine's Day 2011

Philadelphia mix | Philadephia Spotify

New Crime mix | New Crime Spotify

The City mix | The City Spotify

Drive mix | Drive Spotify

Valentine's Day 2012 | VDay 2012 Spotify

King's Myth mix | King's Myth Spotify

Hold On mix | Hold On Spotify

Valentine's Day 2013 | Vday 2013 Spotify

Valentine's Day 2014 | Vday 2014 Spotify

Valentine's Day 2015 | Vday 2015 Spotify

Valentine's Day 2016 | Vday 2016 Spotify

Valentine's Day 2017| Vday 2017 Spotify

Valentine's Day 2018 | Vday 2018 Spotify

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

Post #49–Dalton Mills, self-titled release

Kentucky, I need you to listen up. If you haven’t familiarized yourself with the remarkable talent blooming right up under your nose...I’m going to need you to stop and smell the lyrical roses STAT! What talent do I speak of? Middlesboro, Kentucky singer-songwriter Dalton Mills, to be exact. He released his self-titled debut record on June 5th, and its time that his home state and the rest of the world gets acquainted with his sound. Although he hasn’t been writing and playing long compared to some HHMR review alums, Mills has a true penchant for his folky, singer-songwriter style of music and is quite the stellar storyteller, which you can hear all throughout this fabulous record. It’s easily one of my top picks for 2020, and I don’t say that lightly. So, sit a spell with me a spell and hear me out:

The first song off the record will hit you like a storm. Quite literally, it will take you aback once he starts singing. Titled “Tornadoes,” the song possesses an upbeat melody juxtaposed with a forlorn subject matter. The narrator is down on his luck from losing his job and just knows his love is going to leave him, but he’s afraid to tell her so he just picks up “30 of [his] best friends” and drinks while ruminating on his life. He’d leave it behind, but it’s his fear of tornadoes that keeps him rowing down the same river of struggle. While the title is a bit unexpected and difficult to discern the meaning of at the beginning on the song, by the last chord it makes sense—the narrator’s life is already full of storms, so why would he move where he fears much more dangerous ones? Here, Mills reflects on how easy it is to get stuck in the ruts of life—and our minds.

Speaking of being stuck in ruts, “John on the Run” is a little ditty about a fella we surely have all crossed paths with—the guy with the misguided path laid with wrongdoings amidst a huge heart full of good intentions. Mills sings in the chorus “but before you start pointing your finger, what if it was your daughter or son” living a life like John, out on the run, as a reminder to pause and remember that everyone has a story and deserves a bit more grace than judgement. After all, it could be any of us or one we love to fall victim to circumstance and wind up in John’s troublesome shoes. Perhaps if he had someone show him kindness and a better path somewhere along the way, rather than being eternally written off by society, his story would have been different. Think about that. Love and grace are often the answer and if they are the precedent to difficult roads, lives could be changed.

The themes of big storms in life and being the run translate directly into track number three, “Run Dorothy Gale.” It is quite possibly my favorite off the record, and one of the best lyrical masterpieces I’ve heard all year long. The storyline here parallels the storyline of “The Wizard of Oz” but features Dorothy in an alternate life unseen in the classic movie. In this song, it seems we find out where the wind blew her to after all these years. The dichotomy here between the ruby red slippers Dorothy that we all know and love and the ruby red boots Dorothy that we’re all simply one bad decision from is spectacular. Writer Jason Sinkhorn wrote a fabulous song and Mills’ distinctly melancholy vocals add the perfect touch to weave the tale. One of my favorite lines out of the song is “don’t let them drop a house on your dreams.” Sometimes it feels as in the universe or people in our worlds will do anything to stifle our passions, but even if we have to run like Dorothy Gale, we must not let it happen. By the end of the song, despite the bad roads she took along the way, it appears Dorothy found her peace, which is all one could ever hope for.

Speaking of dreams, in “Verse, Chorus, Verse,” written with HHMR alum and duet partner Lance Rogers, Mills’ laments on the struggles of being a traveling musician. When he sings “I traded everything I love for a verse, chorus, verse,” you can almost feel the tension in his voice felt between the choice of following dreams or setting the guitar down to be a 24/7 family man. It’s a simplistic, yet profound look at the hardships of the lifestyle music brings—and anyone in any profession in the industry can certainly relate. The road can often be long and lonely, but it’s those we leave at home that keep our wheels rolling on. There’s a literal rhyme to the reason behind what we do, and Mills and Roger deliver a passionate portrayal of what this life brings for people to hear the songs they sing.

As I listened to Mills’ debut release, I couldn’t help but mull over how honest his work is. One fine example of that is “Sometimes Love.” This song proverbially punched me in the gut and sent flashbacks flying through my mind. It hurt so good, in that way that lets you know a song is destined for big things. The song highlights a story we’ve all been a character in, as the narrator even laments the man “never knew he played a character in one of the oldest stories ever told.” The man is blindsided by his partner leaving, and correctly claims that “sometimes love will blindside you and bust a hole right through your heart.” So honest with words so painful that you can put yourself in the character’s shoes—it’s perfect. The woman in the song is momentarily not feeling any remorse, whilst wondering if she jumped the gun a bit with her leaving. It’s the quintessential tale of intense love gone wrong, and it works so well. I admire an artist who can make me feel the words, and Mills’ almost monotone, morose vocals lend to that here, as in every song on the record.

Along the same, albeit different, lines of love, “As Long as You Want Me To” is a beautiful song about finally finding that heart to call a home that humans endeavor to find. A story as classic as time itself, the character here pleads with his savior to “tell me all about your sorrows, tell me all about your truths, please don’t turn me away tomorrow, I can stay as long as you want me to.” Rather than engaging in a parasitic type of symbiotic relationship, he longs for a mutually beneficial one. Admittedly, with the words and imagery used in the writing of this song, I was a bit unclear as to what it was about in the beginning. Perhaps it’s about romantic love? Or perhaps it’s about rescuing a cold, lonely animal off the street, or simply lending an ear and hand to someone in need? Either way, I believe it’s a metaphor for the type of love we all seek and long to give to another. It’s an innate human need to belong and that need is beautifully described in this tune.

Mills ends a rather sad record on the saddest note with a song aptly titled “Last Goodbye.” It’s so depressing it will have you tear up by the end of the first verse—guaranteed—but it’s for good purpose. “Last Goodbye” is the story of a man dying from terminal cancer who is beyond ready to leave this world. The feeling of having had enough at times is a universal feeling, yet here it’s quite extreme and heartbreaking. The loneliness, pain, and desperation this man feels is enough to bring you to your knees and make you reflect on your own life, not to mention your feelings concerning death. The man’s only companions are the birds, as his family will not come around until he’s six feet in the ground, and the thief of a caretaker he considers confronting simply so that he will put him out of his misery. Dark, painful thoughts, yet an intriguing look into the brain at the end, and certainly a fine example of the quality of Mills’ work. This song is one you must play several times to fully grasp the words that are being sung and the sentiment behind every one. At first glance, or listen, it seems clear, but there is a deeper gut-wrenching meaning behind it.

In this review, I have barely touched the surface of several of my favorite pieces; however, every song on the record deserves a thoughtful, and introspective, ear lent to it. “Mountain Call,” “Outta Tune,” and “Too Many Dreams” are as lyrically strong as the rest of the songs mentioned above. Get acquainted with Dalton Mills and his unique, impeccable talent on this self-titled debut release of his. I have a rather strong feeling this will not be the last we hear out of him—and that’s a good thing!

As always—peace, love, and music. I’ll see y’all down the road, and hopefully at a Dalton Mills show, soon.

—Lyssa

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*This is an independent review. The Hillbilly Hippie Music Review was not compensated for this review.

*The opinions expressed are solely that of the author(s).

*These images are not ours, not do we claim them in any way. They are copyrighted by Dalton Mills.