#sometimes kuro just slaps shit together to see what will work

[bobokitty]

Was on an art roll today it seems. Back to drawin ocs. Sure was a lot of fanart in a row...

Got a concept sketch for Number 044. This one's specialty is singing~

[kurogabae]

Tsubasa: Trainwreck Chronicles

And Why Bee Train Personally Owes Me At Least a Grand; an Essay by Popular Demand

part 1 part 2

For those of you who might not know, I love Tsubasa Chronicle. So much. But for the love of Kurogane’s beautiful biceps is the anime awful. Now, I’m not one of those “manga purists” who always insists the manga is better than the anime, I tend to find them equal pretty often. This is not one of those cases.

Once upon a time CLAMP made a deal with Bee Train for a Tsubasa anime. Cardcaptor Sakura had done so well! CLAMP was a solid name to back! Bee Train had nothing to lose - except the trust of every CLAMP fan ever. I don’t know how hands on CLAMP (or rather Ohkawa) were in the production but I feel like “not at all” is a fairly solid guess. It was a mess folks. Production was rushed, story was disregarded, plot was cut up and Frankensteined back together, I’m not even going to talk about the English casting.

In fairness, it wasn’t without it’s good points. The soundtrack was flawless, the Japanese cast was amazing, and when Bee Train tried they really did manage to make the series look nice, which imo makes the rest of the subpar animation even more of a slap to the face. They even had some genuinely enjoyable filler episodes - the chibi episode and the Kero and Mokona episode are always the first to come to my mind - but overall? Not even a hot mess, just a mess. 

Under the cut we’ll go arc by arc. I’m not going to rewatch the series just to write this so forgive me if I’m missing facts or if something I say is slightly inaccurate. Also, beware of spoilers for the manga if you haven’t finished reading it. That means you Nick. I’ll write you up a spoiler free copy of this later. Anyway, let’s go.

Opening and introductions:

You’d think, as the start of your series, you’d want the first episode or two to look really nice right? Catch the eye, impress the new viewer. Not Bee Train! [x x] The whole thing is subpar at best. Syaoran and Sakura’s introduction isn’t so bad for the most part, they’re cute and Bee Train tried to add a little more interaction between them before Sakura loses her feathers, which I am all kinds of behind, but... there’s a point where they run from castle guards. And Syaoran sort of just... grabs her and runs and Sakura is left literally flapping in the wind? [x] Also Sakura looks stoned out of her mind in like 90% of the shots she’s in. Touya probably thinks Syaoran is giving her drugs. But honestly, I don’t have too many problems with how the intro happens, mostly just the way it looks.

Fai’s intro can go by with almost no comment aside from the fact that his face looks like it’s melting. Sadly, this is not the worse his face will ever look. Pretty meh.

Personally I think Kurogane’s intro got the short end of the stick visually and I’m not just saying that because he and Tomoyo are my favorites. They both look pretty awful and, as always, where’s the beef???

Also Yuuko deserved better. 

Hanshin:

If possible, the animation gets even lazier. We’ve added Mokona to the party and they cannot decide how big she is. I’m not being nitpicky either. Her size fluctuates wildly. Here are just a few examples set only in Hanshin. This problem persists throughout the series. Also I don’t know how to exactly put this into words but... everyone’s eyes are just extra jacked up. 

Plot wise we mostly follow canon. Until they decide Sakura should get more screen time. “Great idea!” I can hear you say. “We love Sakura!” Well so do I. Problem: she has one (1) feather to her name and is comatose. Sakura is not really going to do anything. Yet the camera keeps going back to her- oh wait she’s awake. Sort of. Oh she’s getting dressed now, we even get a very weird little montage of her trying on clothes. Now she’s wandering the town, meets up with the leader of the Mohawk Gang whose kudan Kurogane beat the crap out of. Luckily she’s a super cute girl (who is barely conscious and doesn’t even talk? She’s so far from Mokona she probably can’t even understand these guys anyway but...) so they take her out to lunch instead of doing something Terrible. To the restaurant Touya works at. He serves her and doesn’t recognize her, meaning there is no Sakura in this world, at least not one related to him. This happens a lot.

In the anime Sakura is sometimes, for reasons unexplained and inconsistent, “drawn” to her feathers. She’s looking for her feather. There is an absurd Looney Tunes moment where she climbs some sort of tall thing (oil rig? construction site? world’s weirdest flag pole?) and jumps off of it before Syaoran and Co. (who have located her after Arashi, who would never have lost track of her in the first place let’s be real, tells them she’s gone AWOL) can stop her.

And then she flies. Literally and truly fucking flies. Through the sky. Thanks I hate it. 

Syaoran catches her, brings her back home, and the story pretty much continues. One fun change was that the whole family had to share a room, they didn’t get separated like in the manga, so we get treated to this Gay Fucking Scene(tm) of Kurogane waking up and the first thing he sees if Fai sleeping while angelic music plays in the background. So that was nice.

Oh god hang on, I had to come back and add this because I literally always forget: Kurogane sees a version of Tomoyo in this world and goes running after her, leaving Fai and Syaoran to meet Touya and Yukito on their own. This results in both of them missing Kurogane’s kudan fight and Kurogane missing the “same face, different person” talk/reminder. They still can’t draw Tomoyo. 

Also this.

Koryo:

Where’s the beef?

Much in the spirit of Hanshin, Koryo keeps mostly to the plot and has overall meh animation with a few choice moments of dear god why. Surprisingly, they made a few changes that I didn’t hate - the village had gotten a group of rebels together against the Ryanban. He also stole Chu’nyan’s mother’s body, making it so that her spirit could never find peace, making him even more of a dick.

This is where we see the first instance of the anime really being geared towards younger audiences than CLAMP had planned for. In the manga Sakura wins everyone new clothes via dice gambling, but in the anime she wins a lottery. Not a big deal, but we see more of this. Another thing change is that there’s a whole secondary plot added to everything when they try to, again, give Sakura a more active role. There are better ways to do this, but Bee Train sort of just tosses her into action and then tosses Syaoran in after her. It’s always bad and pointless and never amounts to anything. 

Anyway, she ends up inside the castle, somehow Syaoran manages to follow after her. Goodness knows what the dads are up to. (Probably this.) Some Really Weird Stuff happens and from what I remember the spirit of Chu-nyan’s mother hops a ride out of the castle with Sakura. Who, uhh, teleports her and Syaoran out. Yeah.

The rest of the arc goes pretty much how the manga does with a handful of minor changes - like the fact that Kurogane never bought a manga in Hanshin, so in order to block Kiishim’s killing blow he’s tucked the hammer he was using to fix the roof in his shirt, which is a much smaller shield than a whole ass book and I think that’s dumb. Still can’t get Mokona’s size right, to awkward and hilarious results.

And remember kids, we won’t show you dice but we will show you this.

Big Lake and Shipper Fish:

The animation in this part is actually pretty nice. Considering. The things they changed were needless and weird.

Sakura and the fish talk. How? Why? We don’t know, it’s never explained or examined. We are meant to accept it Because Sakura, which only works most of the time. The fish tries to tell Sakura that she knows Syaoran - we all know this will not and cannot work. Why does this happen? What was the point of adding this? It is so weird and awkward. It messes up the flow and is so extra. I understand your desires Shipper Fish, but please, let things take their course.

Jade:

Fuck you and fuck your animation. It looks The Worst, which is a bummer because this world changes the fewest amount of things. Anything I could point out are really minor:

somehow Fai can read

they never show how the family gets their clothes, and 99% of the scene in the tavern is skipped

breaking and entering!

Mokona bites Kurogane in the ass

they don’t have horses

no Kuro-dork looking at the snow like an excited child

they nerf Kurogane’s BAMF

the feather isn’t hidden behind a wall, they need the pure hearts of children?

Kyle was a way lazier villain 

Filler #1 - Lightning Jazz Hands:

Alright, that looked neat as hell, I’ll admit. My compliments end here.

Story: nosy little shits got themselves cursed. Gonna fight in a competition to win a Big Magic. Is the Big Magic a feather? Stay tuned! (It’s not, because then the girl would die and that would be Too Sad.)

So the people in this country can shoot lightning out of their hands, that would be awesome and possibly scary, but I guess Kurogane is water/ground type because he gets it and only says, and I quote, “it tingles”. So your lightning powers mean nothing, add no stakes, and the Fam can’t do it so what is the point?

This filler is also famous for its KuroFai baiting, which is impressive, seeing as the anime tried very hard to make them Not Gay. I mean it failed but yeah.

Syaoran is the only fighter they have left because Kurogane and Fai are children and Sakura is making friends with the cursed girl. Keefer... Keepha... fights Syaoran, and obviously Syaoran wins because we’re supposed to think this is a feather. They really play it up to, even after we learn the Big Magic isn’t a feather Syaoran still hesitates before handing it over. For dramatics I guess? I don’t know, there’s literally no reason for him to not give it to the needy couple.

Boring filler. Only fun was watching Kurogane get excited over fighting people.

tbc... with Outo

[part 1] [part 2]