#sometimes it's okay that a kid stole some candy from wal-mart ya know
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If someone forgives your own incomprehensible actions, the way to repay is to do the same for another. Only then will you forgive yourself.
If a kindness was not given that felt inherently required, the way to get passed that is to give kindness when you'd believe it inherently required.
Seriously you can get over A Lot of your early life by being what wasn't there. Because the issue was There's A Problem, and it was Never Resolved.
You can be that, as silly as that has always sounded, there really is no feeling like being able to Be The One to Do The Right Thing THIS FUCKING TIME.
It means something now. That wasn't Just a Loss, it was Growth, that YOU GREW YOURSELF, instead of letting be demolished, and best of all? Ya Did It For Someone Else! It's no longer a "what-if" of kindness but a reality That Can Happen, and it may happen through them now!
I can't put into enough words, your unblinking kindness will be taken advantage of, but my god, you're just right, seriously, every fucking time. Don't let hurt make you painful, exist in the pain, and stop it from happening to others, if you forget it, you won't be there for them, but that doesn't mean 'let it eat away at you', it means to be prepared for them.
Strongly However, go with your gut, 100% of the time even if you haven't acknowledged it yet, if you're slightly not confident, be kind, but protect yourself, don't let others take from what you've kept this long in your life. You come first, but that might entail doing good for others because that's who you are. Just protect yourself.
Protect what you got, what you are, go with your gut and not your heart, it had more time to think before reaching the brain.
#yeah fuck the man but seriously there's so many fucking cameras and I assure you they're waiting to sue yo#once you reach a certain amount so it can be a felony so like Don't? Don't. but fuck the man#philosophy#how to overcome pain#from social traumas mostly#ramble#also fuck that guy#whoever they were fuuuuuuck em'#Also in this day and age. It's okay if you can't decipher if your kindness is just to inflate your own ego#like bro. That's good shit. That's encouragement to keep doing good. Don't let it get to you of course but like...enjoy being good#some people want to break shit down into a paste that has no answer and I've done that long enough to tell you It just makes you existentia#you never find answers and at some point you have to recognize you ran by the answer for something more complex than is helpful#we're resourceful creatures. Use the resources for help. At some point philosophy just becomes knowing too much to know too little and#thus miss that perspective entirely#limiting your worldview to something unshareable but only feelable. Or basically. A Larp. A daydream even. But not resourceful.#we all have to dumb down because we can't even explain it ourselves#and to some degree it's less dumbing down. And just simplifying. And that's more than valid.#Point is doing good and “being egotistical” are pretty inherent to some degree. We like doing things that have impact. Who knew that made u#feel good about ourselves.#No this is not personally related I just had to think about this for 8 years straight as a teen#nothing I'd know anything about#as always do as a I say not as I am on some days#that's everyone#including you#we're all hypocrites but it comes down to the severity of such#sometimes it's okay that a kid stole some candy from wal-mart ya know#don't encourage it but sometimes#sometimes it's okay to just say#I gotta shit
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