#sometimes i wonder if i have bipolar disorder just because that whole entire era of my life could be classified as a manic episode

[kraviolis]

if i had to guess, i’d estimate that only about 1/3 of all the fanfiction i’ve written has been posted.

[calcdad]

What Happened™ with Artpop

Right so i’m not editing this i’m just going for it but try to follow along and if it’s a bit scrambled like do let me know but otherwise here we go

So like before I get started, it really should be known that this isn’t a conspiracy theory and the illumanati is super stupid and not real and not about this shit at all but really what this comes down to is a difference between an artist and a management team, but the way in which management ran things is very indicative of how sociological phenomena come into play when making such business decisions and it’s really interesting 

also a lot of this will be copied and pasted from my friend whom i elaborated on this with and slightly modified but i’m assuming if you’re reading this you don’t need much context for how much mystique shrouds the artpop era as well as the blackout era, which is a very necessary era to examine so that we can use tools from that to look further into artpop 

For like the last 18ish hours i kind of got back into gaga demos for whatever reason and found myself on youtube with all of those artpop conspiracy theories and “demos” and like eighteen different versions of partynauseous, the unwatermarked version of red flame (which i have and it’s like okay at best), and 70 pages deep into google later this is what i’ve really gathered 

Artpop’s failure was a flop because of sabotage by her management which she didn’t know about, and the purpose of the sabotage served to mark her as  martyr for pop music so that she could enjoy more long run consistent success like britney and not burn out so fast like katy 

Before going into artpop, look to Britney Spears, her elusive original doll era before her breakdown, and her life as a whole

In like late 2004-2005-2006, after she broke her knee and right before her breakdown, she was preparing for the release of an album called original doll. she even went to a Kiss FM interview and played the demo of the lead single, mona lisa, though i don’t know if she had permission to do this and people who are reasonable and not conspiracy theorists will tell you she didn't have permission and that's why the whole album was scrapped, but in 2004 she was one of the most powerful celebrities on the planet you know like that doesn’t really just happen to people with that power(?) anyways like keep in mind there’s no secret plot to kill these girls or anything, it’s literally all just about business

the album was talked about in i think a handful of interviews, was recorded, registered, etc, and just suddenly scrapped entirely, no warning. Like put on a “don’t ask about this” list, never spoken of again except for when it was remastered and put on the extended version of the singles collection in 2009, though there were edits to the lyrics etc that refined it from the song it was, which conspiracy theorists largely attribute as a foreshadowing of her fall, into something that makes it seem less ominous and more like “i’m the only one of myself”.

then look to her famous breakdown, note how blackout originally had a bunch of jazz tracks recorded for it (like let go, baby boy) and like it really isn’t crazy or wild for albums to shift direction dramatically like that indicates no conspiracy theory whatsoever. If anything it’s really just indicative of the fact that she was going through it and artistically she was trying to express her emotions but because she was going through it she couldn’t really like...do it with precision and stuff because she was all over the place and like this makes sense because she’s checked into rehab for amphetamine problems before, abuse of which can be required by pressing management to keep constant energy but also cause psychosis-like side effects which closely resemble her behaviour in 2007 but also like she’s recently confirmed that she has bipolar disorder and was likely not getting the treatment she needed! like, that’s normal, there’s no illuminati involved 

an important factor to point out is that Britney Spears has been a star all her life, and when she was signed on to be the songstress of baby one more time, she forever changed the boundaries that hollywood would have with women, and she was just the puppet for the idea. like, britney spears was 17-18-19 and on top of the world, SO sexualized when she was 17, and i’m sure to her she didn’t care because money and fame is promising at that age you know? but like the moment she was nearly nude on magazine covers when she was 17 and 18, it really gave photographers and directors the okay to gradually make younger and younger girls sexualized and poor britney is just out there living her career (which she may or may not have even really wanted as several interviews indicate)

But look further! She was harassed in interviews SO many times during her relationship with justin timberlake about her sexuality and she was a teenager! a young girl! Several industries, though it was clearly not their foremost goal, used the product of Britney Spears as a virgin to be deflowered before the world for our entertainment. What comes after she’s used up? that doesn’t really matter as long as she’s making the money at the moment

In looking at this, you really have to keep in mind that like...Britney Spears and Lady Gaga and Madonna and all entertainers are abstract entities of a sort. I’m listening to artpop as I write this right now, and those vocals on the track are stefani germanotta’s yeah, but like, Britney and Stefani are people off stage and when they’re out of the public eye. When you’re in nothing but the public eye for your entire life the way britney was, it’s not surprising to find that she might struggle with an identity crisis and wonder who she is at some point when she isn’t Britney Spears the performer. she isn’t stupid either, and i’m sure her current day activity is indicative that she’s reflected on who she was when she was younger and ignorant and she doesn’t want any part of that kind of a person anymore. Imagine living 25 years thinking you know who you are and then you realize that one day, who you’ve always been which is the person you are on stage, will some day step off the stage for good. you have to wonder a bit what is left with your life you know?

A N Y W A Y S britney had a great comeback from a legitimate personal struggle and like, she’s the comeback queen of our generation, but furthermore, her and her camp are guaranteed financial security from her product for at least another ten or so years. America loves a good comeback. We don’t love it enough to give her a #1, but she’ll scrape top 40 for the next ten years, and you know the clubs will never stop paying homage to her old music and poor remixes of her new stuff which isn’t even bad but is so clearly departed from the woman who went through the breakdown that it’s almost a new product entirely  

Set the stage to artpop: this was said to me by a friend of mine who cares about lady gaga much more than I do, and like, it doesn’t even seem that farfetched so i’m gonna copy and paste it here- "What happened was that her management team was pushing her to keep going after her hip surgery so she started self medicating in heavy doses of opiates and then her team saw the danger coming and saw the potential for lost money so they dropped her and left her addicted to opiates, a half healed hip, fibromyalgia and ptsd"

I mean, this sounds a lot like britney and her amphetamines to keep up energy for her workload right? But like, looking further, Lady Gaga had amassed a LOT of fame and power in SUCH a short time. This is a highly unstable structure in any discipline, be it economics, chemistry, psychology, or jenga. She was under a lot of pressure to keep surpassing the bar that she herself had raised so high, her hip being broken was awful, but also i know she’s intelligent enough to understand the sociological cycle of celebrities. 

There’s only one celebrity who comes to mind who can really handle being a public personality for an extended period of time the way these girls have to be, and that is Madonna. And like, that’s really why she’s around. She’s been at least 100 distinctly different people over her career because she draws a very clear, hard line between who she is as a performer and an icon and who she is as a person, and it is remarkable that she’s kept these two entities separate for so long. Her life is not always madonna the entertainer. She very much goes home, “clocks out” of being madonna, and goes back to a relatively normal life. She’s an entertainer as a job, and some of these girls become privy to the mindset of being the entertainer who they are, which can have sever psychological consequences.

Further, to again clarify the identity crisis that these people like, reasonably go through, is like “subliminal lyrics”. Like, i do think they put words in their songs sometimes, not because "it's the only way they can speak", but because they're so fucked that they really think it is the only way they can say something you know? Like these girls aren’t literally going to be murdered for speaking, but we have NO idea what is in their contracts and what they can and cannot say, especially in the stage of being massively popular but relatively new. They won’t die, but the legal or financial implications of fulfilling a certain image or product that the company wants to produce could be extremely severe that they could realistically never recover. This is nothing new, either. hollywood has always been like this and there is no reason to think that these girls couldn’t have gone through a similar position.

Do I think artpop would have done better if she hadn’t paraded around promoting it as god come to earth in an album? absolutely. It’s a phenomenal club album, it’s a glorious acid trip of a dance album, and she really should have just called it that. I do think that Artpop Act II was legitimately planned and she had such high hopes for all of this, but so much is also out of her control.

Personally, I haven’t really spoken to anyone who personally thinks artpop is as bad of an album as everyone said it was. Literally, not one person i’ve discussed this with thinks it was a bad album at all. Gaga herself seemed so...shocked that it did so poorly. I was shocked that it was received so poorly. Mainstream media ruined her over it, yet it debuted at #1 and was the 9th best selling album of the year despite coming out on November 6th.

So like, what I think happened is that her management strategized sociologically. They looked at Britney’s breakdown. Britney isn’t dominating top 10, but she doesn’t need to; she’ll always be relevant and rakes in 50 mil for an easy residency. Gaga had too much too fast, and the public is waiting to claw someone so perfect down whenever they can. Gaga could claim a couple more #1s and burn out like a shooting star, or she can tumble, come back, and plateau at 3rd or 4th consistently as opposed to 1st temporarily and 10th in the end. So like, i think that her management definitely paid for some of the reviews about artpop to be bad in order to get the ball rolling on such gamble. But I don’t think Gaga knew. Like, she split with her team during that era, so if they were going to leave her, they have no reason to tell her but also they could still profit and the gamble wasn’t with their own lives that they were playing with. 

the gamble of a comeback isn’t even a new strategy. Like, britney’s was organic, and gaga’s response was organic, but there have been staged comebacks.  Madonna’s initial stumble with erotica and her evita comeback were legitimate ones, but further comebacks with Ray of Light and Confessions were absolutely and meticulously calculated by a brilliant business woman who made waves and rode them like a surfboard to the top. What sold Artpop is Gaga’s dedication. She really believed it was a good album and was astonished when she appeared to be so wrong about how much the public would like it. And that drove her to work hard and readjust her craft.

And like, I do think that she’s looking back and realizing how ahead of its time artpop was. Look at that record as a business investment not so much immediately, but for the future. SO many songs we’re hearing today are reminiscent of the insane EDM that we heard on Artpop. Aside from the slight dip into hip hop and r&b brought about mostly by beyonce and adele’s respective presences, as well as the faux trend of country pop which is dying as quick as it came, Artpop is what is on the radio today. Mark my words and just like, watch HOW many think pieces will be written in the next five years hailing artpop as ahead of its time. Artpop laid the foundations for all of these DJs to make their mark on mainstream music, and consider what DJ White Shadow posted about artpop’s little sister. It’s a reflection artpop was never bad, and now is a better time moreso than ever to venture back into that kind of music. When music historians look back on music trends, i do believe Artpop will probably be one of the most, if not the most, important album in Gaga’s catalogue because it came out four years before all of this music and predicts the exact structure and flow of what is popular, yet at the time was deemed unlistenable, which, again, i do believe was paid for by someone in order to set up for something like this long-term business investment i’ve been describing.

What’s really funny to me about all of this, is that like, comebacks do not always work. Look at Witness. I’m sure that Katy will try to spin this as her blackout or her artpop but like, it won’t work for several sociological factors discussed above. First, katy took her place as first for a fast five years and i’m sure she’s burned out by now. People really are like...over her. Second, Witness won’t define, shape, or influence anything, as it’s all really current music specific to that period of time in 2016-2017. Third, the “breakdown” associated with witness isn’t authentic. Like, it could have been predicted a mile away from that comment she made at the grammys. The subsequent hair cutting and witness world wide and all of that stuff were management’s grasps at achieving the authenticity that britney and gaga had, and like gaga didn’t even really have a breakdown. The only breakdown that Katy is going through is like, realizing that she doesn’t really bring anything revolutionary to the table nor has she ever, even though she has records. She really was a vessel for producers and a record label to rake in the cash while she got to play famous for a bit, but she’s never stood for anything or really contributed artistically, and she wont’ be able to dig deep and “find something” worth redeeming. She has been manufactured from the start, but the tragedy of her is that you can tell that she really thought she was different and ahead of the game. The struggle for her will be for her to realize that she’s nothing that her team told her she was for ten years, and she’s gonna have to deal with that alone and it’s going to be really really hard you know? There’s nothing redeemable about katy perry. Gaga will be seen as an innovator, truly the top of the influx of pop girls in the second half of the 2000s all vying for britney’s place. Gaga will be remembered as the one with the insight, the foresight ten years in advance, and not some one off like fergie or gwen stefani. Katy did a little better in the beginning, but ultimately slow and steady wins the race. And witness was a gamble that producers lost on.

This was super condensed because I couldn’t get my ideas in order the way that I wanted them to be, but like TLDR: Artpop was a gamble by management in order to place gaga as a martyr who can bring longtime success and she’ll be remembered for being so insightful with her musical intuition and what she was doing in 2013 and the illuminati isn’t real but small businesses do shady shit with contracts all the time so is it really so unrealistic as to believe that they took a gamble on artpop when the cards where in their favour to do so with all of her potential energy from being on such a high pedestal? it really isn’t because like it worked sis lmao and that’s just how business works! 

[stuartledrew]

Neat Thought...

We're viewing our pasts, from our presents, as we step into our futures.

That is to say:

When I look at you, I'm seeing where you were, not where you are.

The speed of light Doppler effect...The “light barrier”/screen...Am I on yet?

Anyway...

Be nice.

Be happy.

Be you.

How?

We're a light/dark energy/matter, double rainbow...Well, we will be...

Once you find the “you” that you were born to be.

Balance, harmony, diversity, eternity...Life.

Or...

An eternal, double, infinite, single wave length (...-1.0.1...)...Life?...

Take your pick.

Some interesting things start to happen, when you think in terms of the speed of light, being directly connected to, the number of beings on the network. - Truly just beings there are.

The more of us who join, the more harmonic we become.

We begin to think as one mind, not the same thought, just the timing of...We begin to beat...And all time exists at the same time.

Just a thought.

https://stuartledrew.tumblr.com/

Another neat thought:

Given that I'm viewing my past on a slightly convex screen (time plane), with a very concave retina, + rod/cone placement + transmission speeds = 3D = Evolution (Hunting)

Oops...Got a bit lost there myself...

We're the present, a singularity of time.

We're centered.

So...

Simpler biology...Concave, to concave, flipped...

Anyway... Enjoy...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAEppFUWLfc&list=RDMMNAEppFUWLfc&start_radio=1

“Stone walls do not a prison make,

Nor iron bars a cage.” Richard Lovelace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkgkThdzX-8&list=RDMMNAEppFUWLfc&index=2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTTAPCUtbc8&list=RDMMNAEppFUWLfc&index=5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpoP4YSFKGA&list=RDMMNAEppFUWLfc&index=4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZA5heWazIQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCorJG9mubk

P.s.

This will be my last post, tweet, comment...ANYTHING!!!...On this subject.

In 2008 I got a “tap on the shoulder”. That night I was run through the gamut...I was once Jesus...No, apparently I was Satan...Nope...Wait...I was God...Until I screamed out into the darkness, “NO!!! It just doesn't work!!!”. Then I got to thinking...

I told the doctor (I was “told” to), and ended up being diagnosed as schizophrenic, and being hospitalized. Tip, unless for some reason you wish to be hospitalized, don't tell a doctor that you were once god. Anyway, whilst hospitalized, I briefly lost my temper with my psychiatrist, and got assigned an interview with another psychiatrist, to confirm that I was bipolar too...WHAT?...

Anyway, at that meeting, things got a bit emotional. The psychiatrist's student, started crying and had to leave...And I got a confirmation of bipolar disorder...WHAT?...

I made an RCMP officer cry once too, a male one. He was left to “watch over me” in a room at the hospital, on one of the occasions that I had been told:

“This is a big thing! A REALLY BIG THING!!! You understand that, right? Well the only way they're willing to get you guys together, at the moment, is in a controlled environment. Get yourself checked in to the hospital.”...Phone RCMP...Say “This is Stuart Graham LeDrew I live at...I used to be god, and I fear that I may do harm.”...BINGO!!!...Hospitalized, but no meeting!...No kidding!...Nearly 13 years!...Anyway, back to the RCMP officer I made cry...We talked for a bit and I asked him, “If it isn't, EVERYBODY, what's the bloody point?”, and he began to cry.

Long story short:

Either I'm pure probability, and simply mad.

Or I'm right, and we all win!!! But if so...Where is she? It's the communications era! I'd have been there the next day.  If I hadn't been told, that I have to wait here. Katy has to choose to come to me. I must just be mad! The next day!!! I'd probably have been arrested and detained, but I'd have had to!!!

The way I figure it...

If I'm just mad: I have hyper-inflated lungs, and COVID's on the rise, shouldn't be long now.

If I'm right: Maybe I have to go through all of them, one-by-one, for some reason, and I'm just losing again. C'est la vie.

If I'm, right, right: It has to work, first time. Otherwise,  it's just a trick of sorts, possibly unjust, and personally unacceptable. Something may be back...BUT IT WON'T BE ME!!!

And I'm not “Going long”, that's just the same thing, a trick.

If anyone can hear me...You can't mess it up! Why? Because I'm still here!

HELP!!!

Or not...Your choice...That's the point!

Well, one more.

I WILL FIND A WAY!!!

I'm back, but then again, I did say that I'd find a way.

Perhaps it would illustrate my point, “Stuff like this doesn't 'Just happen'!”, if I give you a few examples.

I was 'told' to go upstairs 'right now!', and watch a video...”Which one? 'You will know.'. I did so. The video was:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCorJG9mubk

Which is basically a synopsis of this whole thing.

Then, one evening at 10:10 on the 10th, I wondered, “What is 101010 in binary?”. Turns out it's 42. Douglas Adams' “The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything”.

In the video, “This is the part of me”- Katy Perry, at 2:23 Katy is wearing a watch. It's 10:10, and the minute hand is pointing to the 10 on the outside dial. I only just noticed this fact, and I've been watching it for years.

I first encountered Katy with the release of the “I kissed a girl” video. I was walking through the living room, and the video for it came on tv...Our eyes met...I walked away thinking “Oh well, just another talented, pretty girl, they'll “throw away” in a couple of years.”. I mention this because as I said, our eyes met...Then, I walked away at the end of the video. But what happened between those two events...(blackout)? It was odd, but I didn't think much of it at the time (loads going on). Now, did I see Katy, then get my “tap on the shoulder”, or visa versa? I couldn't tell you, it was all too long ago now.

In late 2010 there was a forum called “The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything”, upon which I was posting. It was the usual stuff...Drunks in Florida, “Killing time”, and people only interested in their own theory's. So there really wasn't much point, but one day, a 12.5 year old girl, posted a link to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw&list=PLNNEgHxrnU5xrECkqd-mbgyOf6X7_6W9p&index=95&t=0s

And asked, “Is this the sort of thing that you mean?”. I told her that it was basically exactly what I meant, but thought nothing more of it. That's not strictly true. What I meant by it was that I made no connection to Katy or the “I kissed a girl” video. I don't think that I even noticed that they were the same person. If I had, I'd probably have thought something along the lines of, “Oh, still going...Gosh!”. As to the song itself...That has saved me countless hours of thought...We're all on our own “perfect road” leading us all to our own “perfect door”. No need to keep 'checking'/cross referencing etc:. BRILLIANT!!! Anyway...

All of this had fallen into the background, for a couple of weeks or so. It was odd, but nice, a quiet mind. Then on 3/14/2018 Stephen Hawking died. Within 4 hours of his death I had a basic understanding of how all this works. I explained it all on physics forums. My model fixed all of the various problems/oddities in their model, but they would have none of it. Got banned!

Christmas 1987 my mother asked me what I'd like for Christmas. I usually got her to get me a record, but this year the really wasn't one that I had my eye on. So I said “Pop goes the world by Men Without Hats.”, because I thought that the girl in the video was cute. Turned out, I never really listened to it, I didn't really care for it much. But!!! Now, the anomaly in the video that has been bugging me for years becomes clear. What anomaly? What are those floating bubbles with the red bits on them? Do they mean anything? Because, again, the video is pretty damn on-the-nose!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zUUtf7gOe8

Or the video for “Imagine” - John Lennon, he was a tad over zealous, here and there, but, imagine. Why do they zoom in on the window that has “THIS IS NOT HERE” printed on it? I'm demonstrating that it isn't, so...

And finally, well for now anyway, in 1994 Elastica released “Connection”. Huge amounts of this process have related to music videos. “Connection” was one of those “instant fav's”. The original video is a masterpiece, but could cause epileptic seizures due to the quick cuts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY2s4hJ8kuA

“Another heart has made the trade, Forget it, forget it, forget it, I don't understand how a heart is a spade, But somehow the vital connection is made.”

I have to know this! How is a heart a spade? It's ridiculous! It could be anything! Oh well...

Then two days ago, for no reason the thought Juice Newton “Queen of Hearts”, so I played the video. 35 seconds in...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0DK-0fIKCw

I could go on. My day, everyday, is just a continuous “coincidence” stream. Stuff like this doesn't “Just happen”!!! Well technically it does, but...

I will find a way...I mean, what else ya' gonna do?

Especially after the most powerful moment of this whole thing...

The weekend before my birthday in 2017, Katy had a “Witness Weekend”, four days, on air 24 hours'ish, a day. I'm not entirely sure why I watched, Katy was “relevant” by then, “Firework” had saved me so much time. I watched probably 3-4 hours, or so, each day, but I have a problem with, “I may be wrong...”, so I didn't want to feel like a stalker.

Katy had a psychiatrist come in to the theatre, to have a session with. As the session progressed, Katy started to cry, and Katheryn came out. Our eyes met...And it was literally like a double laser out of her eyes! Then I knew! Her image was burnt into my soul...She must “Meet her Prince Charming!”, it doesn't have to be me, but she has to be happy...I hear tell...

“Friends describe Katy and Orlando, as 'More than in love'.”...

Then there's Daisy Dove...

I think it's wonderful. Orlando's a really nice guy (he played himself on “Extras” with Ricky Gervais), life's complex sometimes, and it's a big house...Anyway, I'm either quite, quite mad...Or right...

And it REALLY SUCKS not knowing for sure, for sure, because I am ya’ know?