#sometimes i wanna talk about my fic but i always change shit so i'm like.. i don't wanna spoil it for people...

[lririx]

cute lil fic idea!!! s/o trying out ithaqua's stilts, i wanna be tall too..........

That stupid wind sucker. Who does he think he is? He thinks that just because he's tall he can mock you whenever he wants to. Heck he’s not even tall! It's because of those stilts of his!

One day you wanted to get a book but couldn't reach it. When Ithaqua saw you struggle he just burst out laughing.

“Come help me you idiot!” You shouted at him as your face turned red. He gave you the book but he was still laughing his ass off. “Stop laughing!” You said annoyed. “What did you say?” Ithaqua said mockingly. “I can't hear you down there.” You punched his arm. “OK OK I'll stop.” But still continued to giggle for the rest of the day. You thought he'll forget it the next day but oh boy were you wrong. It was just the beginning.

“How's the weather down there?”

“Have you ever seen someone shorter than you?”

*Ithaqua hugs you*

-”What are you doing?”

-”Just appreciating the little things.”

“You're so stubborn. You even refuse to grow!”

Sometimes your just talking to him and he'll kneel down infront of you so you're eye to eye level and he just wears the stupidest and cockiest smile ever. He knows what he's doing.

You were so done with him today and you wanted to take revenge so you decided to sneak into his room while he’s sleeping and steal his stilts.

Ithaqua’s a light sleeper so you had to be extra careful. But you managed to get the stilts and go to the yard to try them on.

You tightly wrap the cloths around your feet, hold onto the wall and try to get up. It takes a while but you eventually get the hang of it. You walk around while you still hold onto things as you go but stumble when you hear Ithaqua call your name as he enters the yard. “Have you seen m- shit be careful!” He runs to you to try and catch you. “I'm OK.” You say as you balance yourself. “What in the world are you doing? Why are you wearing my stilts?” You open your mouth to answer him but change you mind and instead say “How's the weather down there?” with a smirk.

His surprised and confused face was priceless. His eye twitches “The weather is quite nice down here actually.” He says.

-”Aw doesn't your neck hurt looking up at me like this.”

-”No not really. You know looking down like this can be really bad for you neck.”

-”You don't have to worry about me. Worry about yourself. Don't hesitate to tell me if you need to reach something.”

-”I'm tall enough to not need any help thank you. Do you even know how to walk in these?”

-”I do in fact.” you straighten your posture and walk a couple feet to your side but stumble a bit.

Ithaqua reached out his hands startled “Be careful.”

“It's ok I don't need help. I can walk perfectly fine.” You lose balance and fall down right as you said that.

He runs to you and catches you before you fall to the ground.

You groan. “Are you OK?” He said in a panic. “Yeah I'm OK…I hit my leg though.” You bruised your leg but thankfully Ithaqua was there or it would've been worse.

Ithaqua sighs “You're an idiot. Why would you do this? You could've seriously injured yourself.” He said a bit annoyed but it was because he was worried.

“Well you're always mocking me…” You said in a low voice. “It's annoying being mocked because of my height all the time.”

“You're cute since you're short I can't help it!” You punched him when he said that. “Come on! It's all for fun!”

“Well it's annoying.” You said.

“Alright alright.” He kissed your head. “I won't do it.” You look up at him smiling. “Well not all the time.” he said. Your expression changes instantly.

“I need to have my fun ok?” He said while laughing and you just sighed. His lips meet yours with a soft and passionate kiss. “I love you shortie.”

[xanticore]

Can you do a Lars ulrich fic where the reader is part of it can you do a dominant submissive relationship kinks where Lars is dominant and the girl or whoever is a submissive also the as well smut??

Back in 1984 in the hotel room???

I hope you enjoy anon! I don't like going straight into smut so yeah..it's a bit slow in the beginning but it gets juicy. promise.

“𝐒𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓’’

Genre: Smut

Setting: Summer of 1984 ,, New York

Warnings: Slight usage of the daddy kink (Lars gets so surprised by it) P in V, oral f receiving, pet names, and sailor mouth from Lars.

Summary: The band had finished their recording for ride the lighting. They all agreed to celebrate by hanging out at a club- getting drunk and hopefully be able to take a girl back to a hotel. Lately Lars hasn't had great experiences with the recent groupies he was with. None of them really fit his sex appeal. That all had changed when he saw a girl smoking alone.

"You gotta be fucking with me!" I blurted out before putting the phone back on the hook. A fan that goes by 'Lola' told me I'm an asshole. Maybe she's right. Only because I couldn't take how fucking horrible she was in bed. It really wasn't that great. I felt utter boredom with that chick.

"Was that Lola?" Kirk said in a teasing tone. I just huffed and rolled my eyes. "Of course it was. apparently I wasn't making her feel good, well tough world we live in because I didn't nut myself. Now we both can't have our way." I heard the other members let out a chuckle and it only made me more ticked.

For some reason, I could never find the fun girls like the others. They always had exciting fucking stories to tell about their night. Me, sometimes I either sleep alone or try to have fun with a girl that I bring back. Nobody was into anything I was. They just laid there and took it.

Im fucking 21! and I start my sex life completely shit. It's like I'm having sex with someone's grandma. Like Gross. I want some action. More interaction at least with a girl. I just wanna have fun till I can't anymore.

"Well, We did decide to hit up a club in downtown Manhattan. Maybe you'll find your girl there~" Cliff said giving me a wink. I forgot that quick we were in New York fucking city. "Oh yeah, New Yorker girls are totally hot too. Maybe you'll find that babe you're looking for." James added on.

I was now stoked for tonight. As the youngest in the band, I wanna try and have a good time and able to tell them stories. Stories that they can possibly relate to.

After being out all day, I took a quick nap in my room so I could have some energy for the rest of the night. I wanted to at least look presentable-but then got a reality check. Its a club filled with late teenagers and early twenty year olds. I just threw on a random band shirt with some black ripped jeans and some Nikes. I sprayed some cologne observing myself in the mirror.

"Come on Lars...you got this. Totally got this. We're gonna have fun and enjoy ourselves."

I talked with myself to give me some self confidence. I was full of it. Overly optimistic. I headed down to the hotel lobby where I was the last one to arrive. We had a personal driver that drove us to the top club strip of manhattan. The city lights of the ads and neon advertisements filled the night sky. It had my eyes 'glimmering' as Kirk would say.

We decided to walk along the strip instead, thanking our driver. "We'll take a cab back~" I said reassuring the driver. I saw him nod and left the van. The night life was now and all the adults were out in their club outfits walking along the sidewalk. It really had my heart racing in anticipation on how I'll end my night. Will it be good? or bad. Find out in the next episode of Lars' questionable sex life.

"Jeez, theres so many clubs. Should we just go to a typical twenty-one plus?" Kirk asked looking carefully at the signes that were out. It was different prices of alcoholic drinks during happy hour if you joind this club or that club. "No- Lets go to The Phantom." I said pointing at the bright purple neon sign. The club had a line literally wrapped around the corner of waiting club goers to get inside.

"Uhh. do you know that the Phantom is for...big shots?" Cliff asked as if he was confused.

"Uhh?? yeah. Thats why I said we should go there. Come on, I think we're big enough of a shot to party with the top class people." I said borderline excitedly, but still kept my cool.

"Ok but, we didn't even dress the part?" Kirk and James added in unison. I just sighed.

"Who gives a shit? Like come on it's a club. its gonna be dark. No one is gonna care about what we wear. Now get your asses over there."

Surprise surprise, there were people who recognized us. We did have shows in New York but it was nothing too extravagant. We were escorted to the front, showed our IDs and were in like a blink of an eye. "I guess you're right larsy~"

I just smirked at Cliff's comment. The music was pumping through its speakers and the flashing club lights were going in random directions. Everyone, dancing; and Kirk was the first one to get dragged out onto the dance floor with a girl. Cliff and James also had a pair come up to them, making me alone.

I just chuckled awkwardly looking around for somewhere to sit. All the seats at the bar was taken so that was out the picture. I didn't really care for sitting right now but I did want a drink in hand as I danced. I ordered myself a bottle of beer, taking it with me to the dance floor. Everyone had their partners but I didn't mind dancing alone having the occasional girls come and go.

Eight songs had passed already and my beer was halfway gone. I wasn't drunk but I desperately need another one to keep me occupied when i'm alone. I pushed my way through the sweaty crowd and back to the same bar. I gestured the bartender for another bottle and gave them a five dollar bill. I scanned the room to see my band mates with girls they found. I was a bit jealous to say the least.

James had two girls on him.

Cliff sharing a smoke with some biker chick.

Kirk was full on making out with someone at a vip table.

Me...at a bar on my second beer bottle with no action. It was time to mingle. I looked around for girls but every girl I saw just reminded me of fucking Lola. All the girls were just copy paste. Just when I was about to give up an leave, I see a girl alone at one of the vip tables. She was alone smoking a cigarette and drinking her drink.

Her hair was jet black and I couldn't tell what she was wearing from where I was standing. She looked hot from a far- could she be hot upclose?

I walked up towards her table- casually passing by Kirk who was still kissing mind you. I sat my beer bottle on the table causing a reaction out of her. "May I sit here?"

I asked politely..oh and by the way- she was totally my type of girl. She gave a gesture and I got in sitting across from her. "You know VIP only right?" Fuck, her voice was deep. "Yeah. What you don't think im an important person?"

"You're from Metallica aren't you?"

"I am sweetheart."

I saw her smile when I answered. She looked so shy and I couldn't really make out what she wanted. I kinda dig it. It was something new from a girl that I just met. "Well~ are you a fan- oop...speak of the devil hmm?" I asked her and just in the nick of time, one of our songs started playing.

"I'm a huge fan actually.." She confesses; tapping the cigarette ashes in the ash tray. Just by looking at her and her body language, I could tell she wasn't a groupie. She wasn't quick to ask anything about my wealth or even anything sexual. She was a genuine fan.

She made many first moves, by that I mean questions. Given her shy and quiet nature, she asked very interesting questions about the music and what's it like being famous. I never took the time to even think to myself about these things. With every questioned asked; I answered with full potential.

Being in the vip section of the club, waiters would come and go with drinks. She would get something fruity while I only had my beer. Luckily for this spot, I didn't have to pay.

"Excuse me sweetheart, I forgot to ask you your name."

"it's (name)"

"(name)? such a pretty name you got there baby. Care to join me on the dance floor?"

I gave her a wink before getting up from the booth. I walked towards her side pulling my hand out waiting for her to grab it. Her hands are so soft and pretty. Her nails were painted in a baby blue and a mood ring on her ring finger. When stood up I was almost towered. I was able to look her up and down and oh my god, she was so beautiful. From her height, her mannerisms, her features of her face-she seemed too unreal.

I manned up and guided her towards the glowing floor. It was a different song now. When Doves Cry by Prince was playing and I could clearly see little miss was a fan of him as well. All she needed was a couple more sips of her drink and baby was good to go. I watched as she mouthed the lyrics turning her back against me. I grabbed her hips helping her keep the rhythm.

I drunk a little bit more of my beer and carelessly threw it somewhere off the floor. Both of my hands touching her. She turned back around and her face was a soft color tint. We were both slightly drunk but still was able to recognize what was going on in our surroundings. I couldn't help but lay a kiss on those pretty plump lips.

It was a real pleasure feeling her kiss back. It was expected. I let her pull away and letting her continue dancing. She was teasing me and damn it I wanted her...

So i got her

The taxi ride back to my hotel felt like it was going on for hours. I opened the door to my room, I had her back against the door. I picked her up letting her legs wrapped around my waist. Our kiss was sloppy and desperate, no order was necessary.

We struggled to get our clothes off once we made it to the bedroom. I laid her down gently before taking my shirt off and letting her take off any piece of clothing she desired. She didn't have a bra on so her chest was immediately exposed to the cold air.

My lips around her hardened nipples as my other free went along to squeeze and grope her. She hummed and I enjoyed the reaction out of her but sadly it wasn't enough to my standards. I went up to her neck licking and biting the sensitive area that didn't take me long to figure out. My hands went down to her legs opening them, helping her slide her lace panties down.

I pulled away to see her now raw, naked body. She was fucking beautiful. She even had some tattoos, and a belly peircing. Fuck. My next move was to eat her alive. I saw her exposed pussy and couldn't help but smirk how wet she was. "You're glistening babydoll" I said slowly lowering myself down. My eyes locked with hers and she was shy at the fact of how I explained how needy she was. It was so fucking cute.

I let my tongue gently rub against her clit and the moans she made was what I was looking for. I continued confidently eating her out, making sure I tasted every drop of her wetness.

Hearing her whine and her fingers getting tangled in my hair was sending me into a frenzy. My jeans getting too fucking tight to handle but I was too busy to even care. All my focuse was on her and her only. Her moans were loud and desperate. Just how I like it.

Her back arches as she pushed my head further into her and of course-i didn't mind that at all. I tongued and finger fucked her hole, letting my other fingers slowly rub against her wet folds. She tasted like sweet sugar; something I never experienced before. I could tell she was close by her breathing patterns. I stopped causing her to groan in annoyance. "I wanna have some fun too~" I cooed lifting my head up to caress her cheek.

I took off my jeans and right when I was lining up to her hole, I had no condom. Fuck, I forgot to buy some earlier. I took a deep sigh smiling at her. "You don't mind me going raw do you babydoll?"

"I don't mind~"

I grinned and slowly pushed inside her. We both let out a sigh of relief feeling each other in intimacy. "Feels good baby?"

I asked. She hummed and that was my go to-to start thrusting. I found a rhythm but didn't necessarily followed it as my pace became desperate when I started to get used to feeling her. She was a moaning mess and her whimpers only made it better. I couldn't help but go a little harder on her.

"Daddy...it feels so good-"

My heart literally did at least two somersaults. I wasn't expecting her to pull that kink card on me and fuck I liked it alot. A little too much. "Oh yeah??" I smirked. I leaned down to kiss her on her neck, biting every possible place that I haven't touched yet. I moved my hand down to rub her clit in circles wanting her to be extra stimulated.

"FUCK..Don't stop please..." She cried out. I just chuckled.

"I had no plans to darlin." I responded, reassuring her. I pulled back and had my hand around her neck choking her. She was the first girl to even let me do this. Her eyes were turning red as it was starting to water. She looked so helpless..so submissive...it turned me on so fucking much. I was nearly close.

"Im gonna...cum...."

"Me too darlin...cum for me..cum for daddy yeah?" I continued to pound into her, the room filled with the sounds of our moans and skin on skin contact. "Fuck.." I quickly pull out and start to stroke myself. I released all of my cum on her stomach just in time. I fell down right beside her as we both tried to relax after coming down from our high.

I turn over to her and saw she was already asleep. It was a perfect opportunity to clean her up and let her rest through the night with me.

The next day

I was woken up by an empty spot in the bed. I frowned but it was flipped when I saw her note on the night stand.

Thank you for last night, I had fun. Sorry I couldn't stay until you woke up though, I had to meet back up with some friends. But here's my number if you still wanna keep contact *** **** - (Name) xoxo

I couldn't believe it, she gave me her number. My heart was honestly beating against my chest hard already.

It was time to head back home and of course, the last person to arrive. The others looked pretty bummed. "Good morning everyone...why the long faces?" I asked in concern. They just sighed. "I didn't get no action, nor sleep because all I heard was you and that girl" Kirk said as he had his arms crossed.

Lars couldn't help but blush out of embarrassment at the last part, but at the same time-couldn't help but laugh. "Seems like I'm the only one that got action huh? oh boy do I have a story to tell~"

a/n : Im still getting the hang of writing smut so please be kind!!!

dividers: cr to owners

[madwomansapologist]

Hi! I was wondering if you’d be up to writing an Older!Sidney Prescott x fem reader fic where reader woke up feeling really down and sort of bad mentally and maybe Sidney helps her get out of bed and cheers her up by caring for her and being a total sweetheart?💕

when earth stopped spinning for a day | sidney prescott

Masterlist | Rules | Taglist | Library | More Sidney Prescott | AO3

synopsis: Sometimes, when you feel like shit, nothing is going to help you feel better. But sometimes, all you need is good company. And Sidney knows damn well how being alone feels.

warnings: female!reader. hurt/comfort. established relationship. domestic fluff. saphic relationship. no ghostface.

note: as i said, i'm on a hiatus. i planned on writing this just after my birthday, but guess what? my body decided it hate me. my nose is always wet, my throat is dry, my head hurts so bad that i can't get food because when i bend over to get something on the kitchen it starte spinning. i wanna watch my fat greek wedding, but i can't stand to look at things moving. i wanna die. my body wants me dead. my mind too. good for you dear anon who already waited long enough for your request to be done. i hope you enjoy my misery.

Sometimes you just know. It's a deep feeling your bones, a deep feeling you can't ignore. It feels like abandonment. Like falling in disgrace. No one can ignore a castle crumbling, no can ignore the certain of earth turning it's back on you.

It's been like that since you opened your eyes. You looked at the empty glass of water in front of you, noticed the loneliness on your bed, heard the trees moving with the wind outside your house. And as simple as that, as simple as understanding your senses, you knew you wouldn't get out of bed.

You didn't went back to sleep, but you also didn't remain awakened. It was like you mind wandered without your permission, moving throught all the places your body couldn't reach. You just stayed that, glaring at glass, suffocated by your sheets.

You felt haunted.

Seconds later (or minutes, maybe hours, probably centuries), something changed. You didn't noticed before, but now you did. Your glass turned into a cup, and its emptiness turned into thin smoke and the aroma of passion fruit.

That you didn't feel, but you just knew: she was right behind you. Not touching, not when she can see you may not want that. Not talking, as your loud silence took all the space on your shared home. Not doing anything besides being there.

"Hi", you weak voice surprised you. Its being a long time since you last heard it. A long, needed time not hearing anything but the tree leaves.

"Hi", Sidney whispered. You could feel, she was smilling. A small, kind, worried smile. You just knew. "Have you eat anything?" Your lack of response was enough. "You know, I'm almost a masterchef myself. And I'm taking requests."

You chuckle. "No. You're not."

"Is this a challenge?" Her hands found a way into your waist. Feeling Sidney's warm body, you closed your eyes and reached for her hand. You wanted to feel next to someone. Next to her. "I can make you a foie gras, then some cassoulet and finish the day with soupe a l'oignon."

"Do you even know what those are?" You murmured.

"Maybe...?" The silence that came after it was different. It was comfortable. And yet, you didn't feel alone. You mind stayed on your body, and it relaxed a bit against Sidney's body. "Now chose," her voice was profound. Filled with honesty. "You want to talk, for me to take care of you, or to stay like that?"

"Just... stay", you asked. "Don't let me feel lonely."

"I would never do that, baby", Sidney's hand found a place in your hair. "How could I let my muse all alone? Someone must protect her."

"You're such a dork."

"No, no, your dork."

"Idiot", you rolled your eyes. Then, quietly, you added: "My idiot."

When you know, you know. And when it comes about Sidney and her love for you, you just know.

SCREAM TAGLIST: @adamsbubblegumbitch

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[itwasthereaminuteago]

|| As It Was ||

Frank Castle x Matt Murdock

Tags/warnings: blip angst 😭 but don't worry I wouldn't hurt you like that 😊 @munsonownsmyass gave me the title for an ask game where I'd answer with what kind of fic I'd write for it. I didn't even know it was a Hozier song when I replied that I'd write a blip fic where Frank loses Matt... then I listened to it so many times, read the lyrics and I was just like, fuck.

There is a roadway, muddy and foxgloved

Never I'd had life enough

My heart is screaming out

And in a few days I would be there, love

Whatever here that's left of me is yours just as it was

"I'm just looking after the place y'know, for when he gets back."

Karen nodded, her hand resting softly on Frank's arm as she hoped that them all just believing it would happen would be enough.

When he had found that Karen had been covering the rent and bills for Matt's apartment, Frank had taken them on and eventually with her encouragement, he moved in.

At that time it had been almost a year since half the world went away, since half of Frank's heart was lost. A void that suddenly appeared in his life and sucked everything into the deepest, blackest hole.

Of course there were others, close friends and all the everyday figures in their lives that they must have taken for granted before, all disappeared without trace, but none of them hurt as deep as the love he'd lost. He was shredded up inside, hollow and empty but for the small sliver of hope he held up, the only thing still keeping him going. Keeping him alive.

The empty apartment was both a blessing and a curse. There he could be closest to what remained of Matt, his scent ingrained into the place. Sometimes it was the biggest comfort, but the memories also made it the hardest place on earth to be. He had wandered at first, like a lost dog looking for his owner. He had to try to look, people just didn't vanish into thin air, it just wasn't possible. Although with the kind of shit that had been happening in New York in recent years who knew.

Eventually he admitted that he had to find a coping mechanism. He threw himself into work, helped Foggy and Karen as much as he could, tracking down case leads and threatening those that stood in the way of justice for the people who had lost everything. And before returning 'home', he'd work second and often third jobs just so he didn't have the time or energy to think or dream about him, using hard labour to try to achieve such a state of physical exhaustion so that sleep came sterile and dreamless.

Even so he'd wake up with red eyes, dreaming of Matt reaching out to him and then blowing away on a gentle wind, disintegrating right before him. It didn't even happen like that. He wasn't even with him. They were miles upon miles apart, Frank chasing yet another gang across Middle America for vengeance. Fuck, how selfish he'd been in hindsight. If it wasn't for his blind rage he could have been there with Matt, maybe it could have been different. Maybe it would have taken him instead somehow, he didn't know but it killed him that he hadn't been there.

Just as it was, baby

Before the otherness came

And I knew its name

The love, the dark, the light, the flame

He knows it's futile but his iron grip never lessens even after the months turn to years. The worst part of it is it's not like missing someone as if they had died, at least then you know they're really gone and never coming back. Sometimes he'd experience something, hear something and think, you'd love this, Red.

Years passed and he witnessed others 'getting back to normal', trying to make something of their forever changed lives, some of them meeting to talk through it as therapy, some moving on and dating again.

"You'll always love him Frank, I know that, but it's okay if you want to. Matt would want you to live your life." Karen would tell him, but he would shake his head and give her the same stubborn look.

"I don't wanna live my life without him."

The eyes at the heights of my baby

Let's hope at the fight of my baby

The lights were as bright as my baby

But your love was unmoved

And so Frank didn't move on. He carefully tended the memories he had for fear they would fade, honoured Matt's way of doing good for the people of their city, and prepared for the time when his lover would walk through that door and back into his arms again.

Except he wasn't prepared, no-one was.

When it happened, Frank was backing up the truck in the workyard.

"Woah woah! What the fuck dude?!" A female voice was screaming from behind.

Frank slammed on the brakes, his eyes darting up to the rearview. He could have sworn there wasn't a single soul around when he checked his mirrors and blindspot just a second ago. He cut the engine and got out. The girl he saw in the mirror strode angrily up to meet him.

"Hey buddy, look where the hell you're going next time, you nearly leveled me coming out of nowhere like that!"

Frank squinted at her for a second as she looked around in confusion.

"Where's my car? I parked up right here a couple of minutes ago…"

He shrugged. "Look, I'm real sorry for the scare but there ain't nobody else here but me lady, and I ain't seen no car either. You okay?" Frank asked. The girl was clearly convinced someone had stolen her car.

"It was literally just here! I just locked it to go to the sto-" she cut off, her eyes flicking around the building site they were standing in the middle of. "Where's the… store?"

Frank shook his head. "Ain't been a store here for 'bout 3 years now, you sure you-"

Realisation hit him so suddenly that his heart felt like it was going to fall through him, his awareness spreading out to the frenetic sounds of the nearby street, yelling, car horns honking and a hell of a commotion. Frank paled. The girl tipped her head as she heard it too.

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on, mister?"

Frank takes a deep breath to try and keep his heart from exploding in panic. "Kid, do you have family nearby? Can I give you a ride someplace? I'll explain everything on the way, trust me."

.

Frank sped home as fast as he could after dropping off the girl to elated and tearful parents, but the streets were pure chaos with nearly everyone trying to do the same thing, desperate to find their loved ones. He caught himself trying to make rare contact with the Big Guy under his breath, a prayer, a mantra that Matt would be there when he got to the apartment, that he'd just appear like the others did. His phone rang out as he ditched the truck streets away and took to running. It was Karen.

She was yelling the words out at a hundred miles a minute. "Frank, they're back! They just appeared, we blinked and there were clients in the office! They don't know, oh god they don't know what happened! Frank where are you you've got to-"

"I know, I'm on my way, he's gotta be there… he's gotta be."

She murmured her agreement. He could hear the tears in her voice. "Let me know, please let me know. There's people I need to- we all need to check on–"

"I know sweetheart. Don't you worry, I'll catch up with you later. You be careful alright?"

She sobs. "Frank… they're back."

He stops before unlocking the door, gives himself a beat.

To do what? Prepare himself to be heartbroken again?

Fuck it.

Just go in, get it over with.

He opens the door, it's quiet. It's like it always is, empty.

Then he feels it.

A draft from upstairs where the door is ajar.

The roof.

He takes those fucking stairs three at a time, slamming the door open all the way when he reaches the top.

"Frank?"

And tell me if somehow some of it remained

How long you would wait for me?

How long I've been away?

The shape that I'm in now is shaping the doorway

Make your good love known to me

Just tell me about your day

Frank stares. He's looking at a ghost. Matt is right there, standing on the roof turning to face him. He doesn't dare blink in case he loses him again. Matt is there. He starts walking quickly towards him, bundling him into his arms, holding his face, kissing him all over and squeezing him so tight that Matt starts laughing.

"Hey! You're back earlier than I thought." Matt says in surprise, momentarily turning his attention away from the unusual commotion he can hear from the nearby streets and apartments. "What's going on?"

Frank buries his face into Matt's shoulder, still hugging him like a bear. He tries to stop his hands from shaking by pressing his fingers into the soft fabric of Matt's hoodie, feeling him so solid and real under them.

"I–I'm gonna need you to say my name again, please baby…"

Matt's brow furrows in confusion but he does as he asks. "Frank, you're only been gone a few days, did you really miss me that much?"

Then the tears come.

"Baby, you don't know, you don't know–" Frank sobs against Matt's shoulder, his voice breaking.

Matt holds him steady. "Hey, you need to tell me what's wrong, what happened? I can hear so many people crying, so much confusion… the air smells different, your heart's beating so fast, I know something's changed, tell me…"

Frank pulls back a little, tries to wrangle his emotions for long enough to try and explain this unbelievable thing, but where the hell do you start?

"God, I don't even know how to…"

Matt's hand comes to his face, he strokes over Frank's damp cheek with his thumb. "It's alright, just take your time."

Frank chokes out a sad laugh. "Fuck, I've had nothin' but time, five years of it, Matt. You… and half the world… you were just gone, nobody knew where, what had happened." He leans his forehead against Matt's, "but I knew you'd come back, goddamn I just knew it somehow."

It's Matt's turn to hold onto Frank as he tries to process what he's hearing.

"I… was gone for five years?"

"C'mon let's go inside, huh?"

After he does his best to explain the Avengers, Thanos, and the infinity stones, Frank finds he's not so surprised with how well Matt has taken the news. He fills him in with the work he'd been doing with Karen and Foggy and Matt beams with pride and relief that his friends were okay.

He doesn't know if Matt's ready to answer such a question, or if it's too much, but he has to know. It's been eating him up since that day.

"When it happened, did… did you feel it?"

"It was strange. I guess it was like, everything just kinda… falling away." He reaches for Frank's hand, placing his own on top.

Frank scrubs his free hand over his face. "Jesus-"

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here." Matt soothes, interlocking their fingers and leaning his body against him.

Frank can't stop pinching himself, making sure this isn't just another cruel dream, that Matt was definitely here to stay and wouldn't fade into a whisper on the wind again when he least expected. He stays close regardless, sits with him on the couch as he touches his face, feels his way around those rugged features even though to Matt it was only a few days ago that he last mapped them out in bed. He's not much changed, maybe the lines around his eyes are a little deeper. He can feel Frank's body as they hold each other, he's leaner, muscle distributed differently to how he was before. Some of his edges have worn, he's softer in his demeanor.

Frank draws Matt's hand to his chest just above his heart. "This is the one thing that ain't changed. Never once stopped thinkin' about you. Never stopped loving you."

Matt sees a reel of what Frank has gone through in his mind, waiting for him, holding on to the thinnest morsel of hope, never moving on. It's a bittersweet thought, his own heart breaking thinking how he'd feel if it had been the other way. His eyes shine with tears.

Frank caresses the side of Matt's face, runs his fingers through the strands of his hair as he peppers kisses along his jawline, treasuring the small gesture so much more now.

The eyes at the heights of my baby

Let's hope at the fight of my baby

The lights were as bright as my baby

But your love was unmoved

"Couldn't bear acceptin' that you were– you'd gone for good y'know? I just couldn't. It kept me goin'."

The tears fall down Matt's face and Frank does his best to kiss them all away. His voice is cracked and rough and he's a mess, they're both a fucking mess but they don't care.

"You waited for me?"

Frank can't help acting like it's an insult to think he wouldn't. "You kiddin' me? You're worth waitin' for baby. I'd wait twenty, hell, I'd wait fifty years if it meant I got to see this face again."

"God, I'm sorry… I'm sorry I left you like that. I'm sorry I left you–" Matt croaks the words out and Frank's shaking his head hard, pulling him closer, holding him to his bones. He can't bear Matt feeling like it's somehow his fault.

"Nah, c'mon don't you do that. Don't you try and take on guilt that ain't even yours. You're here baby, you're back, everyone's back and that's all that matters, right?"

Matt sniffs and finally nods. They sit in silence for a while, content just to exist with each other.

"There's so much to catch up on."

Frank can hear a slight lift in the tone of Matt's voice and it makes him chance a smile, hoping it will stick, that there will be so many more reasons for him to smile like this again.

And the sights were as stark as my baby

And the cold was as sharp as my baby

And the nights were as dark as my baby

Half as beautiful too.

[chaos--mode]

rules update!

smut && shipping

i won't be writing smut on any of my blogs, and if you write a lot (and i mean like excessive amounts, nearly every post) of smut/nsfw content then i won't follow you. i'm also not super into romantic shipping. i know that's a really uncommon thing in the rpc, so if you're mostly just looking to ship then this is not the blog for you. generally i will only ship if i actually know && talk to the mun ooc. but when it comes to other types of ships? i 100% love that shit! familial, platonic, enemies, i will take it all. i particularly enjoy familial && found family dynamics.

blocking (added the following)

i tend to softblock if i'm breaking a mutual as it's generally not personal, i might not see us interacting after all or you tend to post stuff that i just don't vibe with. also like i mentioned i'm not super into romantic shipping, so if you tend to exclusively write ship-y stuff then i might softblock.

formatting && literacy

i don't expect anyone to match my formatting, and i'm fine with different reply lengths. that said, i personally tend to write multi-para to novella length replies. i totally don't mind single-line replies here and there (sometimes short and sweet is great!), but if i'm constantly writing multi-para replies and you only ever give me a couple lines then i will softblock.

explanation && some personal stuff under the cut ♡

something i tend to struggle with a lot is actually creating (and subsequently enforcing) my own boundaries. i haven't really done it on my rp blogs which has resulted in me feeling anxious and uncomfy a lot, and not really feeling like i'm allowed to exist in my own space because i'm so concerned with making space for and accommodating everyone else.

i also tend to try and force myself to do things i might not always want to if someone else is into it in an effort to make everyone else happy, even at my own expense. i very much have a tendency to people please and it's something that i've been working on for years.

and i always feel so bad about softblocking/breaking mutuals, especially if we've interacted in the past. it's just more anxiety, like feeling stupid that i followed and interacted with someone and then dared to change my mind or decide that we weren't a great match after all.

i've also always sort of felt really anxious about my thoughts on romantic shipping in rp because if i'm honest i'm not even really sure why i feel this way. i love shipping as part of fandom, and i both read and write romantic fics and smut. i think most of it just has to do with general shyness and anxiety interacting with people i don't know, because i find i do get that same spark of interest for romantic ships when i feel comfortable with and have a good ooc rapport with the mun.

ALSO i wanna make it clear that no one has done anything to make me feel this way!! i don't want anyone that i have written ship-y stuff with or discussed shipping with to think they made me uncomfy, i promise you these rules are not about/because of you!! it is 100% on me, and this change is more about actually curating my space for my own comfort going forward, and allowing myself to have and enforce my own boundaries ♡

[icedmetaltea]

Man, I really hate it when I'm reading something and the plot is incredibly good. Like so very good and then it just becomes smut. Pure smut. The amount of times this has happened to me is ridiculous. To each their own of course, I'm not hating on those writers. Everyone has their interests and if that's what they like then I'm happy they feel comfortable enough to share. It's just so difficult to find stories where characters remain platonic or where they don't just have sex a bunch to deepen their bond. Idk. Am I being a prude or an ass for thinking like this?

Are you talking about books or fics? :v

If the latter I highly suggest using the filters to blacklist. There's a guide here! Then just stick to rated G or T and avoid anything with tags that imply there's smut in it (there will still be people who don't tag their shit BUT try to avoid those). In general M or E is always gonna contain some kinda smut, or at least references to sex. Sometimes it's for violence/language but that's rare.

If it's books it's usually pretty easy to tell which books will have smut lol (at least in my experience, I avoid romance books generally)... if there's a shirtless or scantly-clad person on the cover it's prolly gonna have it. You can also check goodreads and sometimes you can tell based on comments and ratings if there will be smut, you can also just ask in the questions section.

You're not a prude or being an ass at all my friend!! Everybody's got stuff they're cool with and stuff they're not cool with. Heck, I have stretches of time where I'm super sex-repulsed and can't look at anything containing sex without wanting to gag. It's not at all unreasonable!

I'm not quite sure where to look for this BUT you may look for books/fics featuring asexual/aromantic characters. There aren't a ton but I know they exist! r/asexuality and/or r/aromantic as well as other internet forums may be helpful with locating books like this- there tends to be some overlap between the two so a lot of the time you'll find people looking for aroace stuff in one or the other. Also I have just today found out the term for romance books without smut is called "closed door" or "clean" romance so that's interesting

And remember: be the change you wanna see in the world! Maybe pick up writing and write the kind of relationship you prefer? It doesn't have to be a full-on book, maybe a fic or a short story with ocs? It can be super fun and fulfilling while also hitting that niche you crave

[candyskiez]

Feel free to chat about whatever fic you want :)

Reblog this if you want readers to come into your ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines. Or, send in a ⭐star⭐ to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

oooo okay let's go!!! I'm picking this section of my fic stubborn

"Raine was quiet for a moment, pensive. 

 

"Alright,  you're guilty. So what are you going to do about it?"

 

"What?"

 

"You treated him badly. You were wrong. So how are you going to make up for it?" 

 

"It's not that simple, Songbird."

 

"Let me ask you this: do you care about him?"

 

"...Yes. Yes I do." He was fond of him, once he actually got to know him. Once he saw what the kid was like, really like, well…how could he not be? He was kind, and earnest, and passionate and a bit of a dork, albeit with a dark sense of humor. He was a good kid, a damn good one in fact. Those sewing lessons were some of the first Non-Eberwolf related good memories he'd made in…decades, really. "But that doesn't change how I treated him."

 

"You're right. It doesn't. So what do you want to do to fix it?"

 

Darius wanted to reply with something witty, like he always did. It was how he worked. Uncomfortable situation? Sass your way out of it. Works every time. Except for when he can't think of one. 

 

"There are plenty of people far more qualified to help him than I am."

 

"So what are you gonna do when he comes back? Ignore his existence? Do you really think that'd help? How do you think that'll come across?"

 

"It doesn't matter , Raine. He's dead. There's no point speculating. He's gone." 

 

"And what if he isn't? What are you going to say to him?"

 

He goes quiet. Raine sighs.

 

"Look, I get you're guilty. How you treated Hunter was wrong. But avoiding him isnt going to fix it. All you'll do is hurt him and make him think he did something wrong. You wanna make it up to him? Then apologize. If he doesn't want you in his life? Live with it. If he does? Then do better. And don't do it just for Jasper, or because you promised him. Do it because, at the very least, Hunter deserves an apology.""

a thing that always bugs me about a lot of stories about guilt is that it's often treated like the guilt matters more than the one who's hurts comfort. and also how much apologies are treated less as giving the one who was hurt and yourself closure, and more like "now you have to forgive me." which...isn't good. at all. sometimes, forgiving someone is good for you. other times, it isn't. whether or not reconciliation is the healthiest option solely depends on the one who's hurt comfort. if being around them makes them miserable, they shouldn't be expected to reconcile just because the person who hurt them is so so so so guilty. what I really wanted to focus on in this fic was yeah, darius is guilty. but is he going to be sorry, or is he going to be better. (the answer is the latter, dw he's being Responsible.) I didn't want this fic to feel like "ohhh no Darius made a mistake so it's all about HIM feel bad for HIM." it's about darius getting his shit together. and ultimately darius ignoring hunter or distancing from him on the assumption that he won't want him around would hurt the fuck out of him, because it'll only be perceived as rejection, as him hating him. leaving someone for their own good with no warning? that fucks a person up. bad. and is a fucking awful thing to put someone through. this scene is basically raine just saying it how it is. give hunter the choice. stop running from your guilt by pretending there's no chance he's still alive. admit that you're scared he's hurt, and let him make his own decisions. if he wants to avoid you, leave him alone. if he wants you in his life, do better. it is NOT your choice on if he forgives you. it's his. this is probably incoherent and badly worded but here hold this.

[unreliable-narrator-2845]

i figured i should uhhh introduce myself so. hello. new funny post to pin so people know who the fuck i am ig. very messy cuz i like to ramble.

also, drawn skull under the read more! in case that would upset anyone

i go by cryptid but you can call me pretty much anything (other common ones are neo (my pen name) and comic), esp since it doesn't match up with my username LMAO but i very much like this username, even if it isn't very easy to make a nickname out of? i can't just go by. unreliable. or narrator. or 2845

(can you tell I like TSP?)

pronouns are he/him! i have some neos (primarily The Narrator/The Narrator's) and i vibe very heavily with xenogender, but i largely just consider myself on the binary, when it comes to femininity/masculinity. my ideal gender is a distinctly male beast of some kind

i write fics (unreliable_narrator_2845 on ao3) and post art here. mostly gordon, benry, and any mix of the two...

uhhh i'm 18 (19 in. Soon. why is my birthday so soon what the fuck where did that come from) and severely mentally ill!!! so if i come across as weird or off-putting or annoying or whatever, let me know what i'm doing that's "off". i cannot read a room to save my goddamn fucking life so imma need you to tell me how you are best comfortable when interacting with me

dms very welcome!!!! i prefer to chat on discord (cryptid_neo). i wanna talk to people about these gay men i've grown attached to. however, i have a pretty standard DNI list i think?

some fun facts ig:

i'm in college! getting a degree in psychology, going into the clinical psychology field

got into HLVRAI very recently. i am very sad that the fandom is so small but i will Make Do with the deck i have, not the one i wish i had

i am on the ace spectrum! (aego if you're curious). also aro spectrum, demi specifically. i used to be panromantic, but now i'm just homoromantic - i'm trans and have been on HRT for 2 years now, and it literally changed my sexuality, so that's uh. fun? goodbye women ig.

i have a tendency to say a lot of out of pocket shit because i do not have a filter, and i tend to fuck up and fumble my words when i'm not being super deliberate about something. sometimes i can say shit i did NOT mean to say, or i'm not being very clear with something. that makes me say a lot of funny stuff but also some stuff that i may need to be corrected on! i'm always looking to be a better person so just like, tell me if i did some shit and explain, and we should be good

as an addition to the above, a lot of what i say is meant to make myself and other people laugh. it's why my sona up there is a hyena! i like comedy in the horrific drama that is my life for some reason, and i use comedy to cope LOL

that is all. i think

[reigningmax]

I saw your tags under the Max video and the ask after and I absolutely agree. I sometimes am taken aback how "stable" Max is. idk how to say it but from the outside we can clearly see that the way Jos has been treating him is abusive, but you can't really see it on max? he is more private than most drivers so we can't see that much, but people that work with him all sing his praises and not just because he's fast. he has 2 cats, which means he's wholesome (that's why Alex is the wholesomest) 1/4

The way he is with Kelly and Penelope is actually surprising. How he's taking care of Penelope(the little we can see of it) looks good, fun and helthy. And how he isn't afraid to wear floaties in the pool, or swim in Kelly's arms like the babygirl he is. If I were a guy and my father was Jos, I would be the poster child for toxic masculinity tbh... yet Max isn't. I am a new fan and I've only seen some videos and stories of him being angry/agressive but I don't see it in present Max 2/4

Also the way he put his foot down with DTS and declined being a part of it because he felt like they're creating drama.Wether it's for his benefit alone or because he sees the whole grid mistreated idk.I wish he was more firm and outspoken on other stuff too. I'm not sure if he simply talks about everything he cares for and doesn't talk about anything else or if there are other stuff he's not comfortable speaking out for. I don't think I was ready to talk about a lot of stuff back at his age 3/4

And the way he spoke out about the virtual Le Mans! I don't understand how some people were not siding with him! Not only was he right, he was probably the best known person there and his words can actually change something. And the way he spoke about it reminded me of Mr Darcy lol "I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself... My good opinion once lost is lost forever." 4/4

YES!!!!!! YES EXACTLY. he in every way is expected to be that toxic man whos' controlling and angry and shitty. it's how his haters want to believe is just to make themselves hate him but he's literally just Not that?? he's very grounded, protective, SO loving towards his people. he shares his wealth with his family and friends. he takes care of his people. he loves his team and his friends in the paddock. he's unapologetically himself cause it seems like he's always had to apologize before for who he was, how he was, what he loved. he's someone to admire IMO cause he got out of a shit situation and made the most of it??

there are people who say they like him and always give a "well people who hate him have their reasons" but DO they? lmao or is he just good at getting shit done in his sport without faking niceness??? yknow... like all the greats in every sport ever lmao.

and you dont even need to like him as a racer to see how he is a man but. he's either reduced to [insert whatever buzz word the moral police wanna use here] or he's max, the abused dick-traumized weird man who likes weird kinks and to be humiliated. which....couldn't be farther from who he is clearly even if it tried. and obviously fic vs reality etc etc but I think the excuses people who hate him AND people who pander to those who hate him clearly completely miss the mark of who Max is. the man who loves what he loves unapologetically and takes care of everyone around him and is a good one to love, with all his flaws and past mistakes. cause obvi he has those and has fucked up and I wish he has spoken up about things in a more conscience way. but you can't sit and tell me he hasn't changed.

[beauzos]

12, 18, 25 ( for fics and/or original work of course! )

Fanfiction Writing Asks

12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

Oh, great question! It kind of depends. For one-shots of any length, I probably have written down my scene ideas and any dialogue I don't want to forget, and I may have a couple sentences about how I intend to go about it, but it's pretty loose. I just kind of extrapolate from there and figure it out on the fly. I have a personal server for storing lots of different things, and I have a couple writing channels dedicated to just dumping ideas I get so I don't forget. I got in the habit of doing this when writing A Change of Heart and it's incredibly helpful, because I don't remember have the shit I come up with otherwise, lol. But you can kinda see I'm just theowing every idea in there in case I want to use it, and then once I've used it or changed my mind, I delete it from the channel.

Insofar as long fics or projects go, I do much stronger outlines because, of course, there's much more to figure out. SOBR had a big outline done before I touch pen to paper for it at all, and I did it again recently with a potential project I wanna write, but haven't been motivated to yet. But you can see I put a lot more effort into the formatting.

The Pawn spoilers, if anyone cares.

So yeah! It just depends on how much information is needed. Sometimes, my outlines don't always wind up being fully followed. Things change during the writing process, you know how it is, but a lot of my ideas usually make it in. Like, when I just looked over my SOBR outline from last year, nearly everything made it in, and if certainly things were scrapped, then a similar idea made it in in its place.

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

Kinda depends. I don't love having to scrounge for really particular information, but I do love to learn and research, so it just depends on how much trouble it was for me. I like to be accurate and I like to do at least basic research for tackling something. I had to do quite a lot of research for SOBR, and I found that fun. I read Cattle Kingdom and used my background knowledge on the era since it was already my area of expertise-- and also picked stuff up from other history books of the era that I read for fun, like the Custer books.

I also watched a whole like, half an hour video about breaking down a deer so I could write chapter 4, even though it's such a small detail. I just want to know what I'm talking about before I write it down, because otherwise I make big mistakes. Research can be fun!

SOBR, of course, was the most research-intensive because it's historical fiction. I better know my stuff for something like that, even though you can still do some Western genre handwaving about other details. But I like to be accurate when I can.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Brainstorming is fun for sure, and it's easy too. But the actual writing process is my favorite once I get in the groove of it. I have trouble getting into it, but once I have the habit or the drive, it's so fun to write and actually get it all down. I don't find just picturing scenarios very fun. There are a lot of head scenarios I have just for myself that I never intend to write, but for most genuine ideas, I need the outlet of writing to really feel satisfied. Writing is a damn joy.

[naaaafam]

Ooooooooooooh I love the idea that no one ever figured out that the "ghost" That was taking down the mob was actually two people and Ingo and Emmet have always been able to play the part. They're the secret backup nobody ever knows about!

aiejgoiajeorjf the bond between Chandelure and the twins is so!!!!! I'd love to see how the three of them heal in the aftermath. I imagine the cracks on Chandelure's glass would never fully go away, but I feel like seeing Chandelure heal would be very... Satisfying? Gratifying? Relieving? One of those. Both as a reader and to the twins. Just proof that things are getting better. Forever changed, but healing

It definitely feels like it fits with this au's version of Nimbasa: Cracked, but not broken and capable of healing

I think I had something to say about the distortion world too but it just flew from my mind

[Adding a Keep reading bc this has gotten longer and longer, lol]

I would so so so love to see in what ways the boys help Nimbusa aside from fighting mobsters. 'Cause that can't be the only thing they're doing to help. Like, are they known by a bunch of little old ladies as the two boys that run around Nimbasa helping people? Would the little old ladies even know the boys are helping people? Is there just a little gossip group that occasionally talks about these boys they see running around Nimbasa and they spend like an hour each time they're brought up speculating on what they do with around the city?

There's got to be someone who's not a mobster that has seen the boys and what they do

Now I can't stop thinking about their reputation among the populace outside of the reputation as subway masters

Did the boys really clean up Nimbasa almost entirely by themselves? Or did they make friends a long way who also helped in small ways? It would be very onbranded for the , Pokemon world that two teenage boys could clean up an entire city, considering prepubescent child can takedown Team Rocket, a mob that's functioning across an entire region, but still

Now that I'm thinking about their reputation among Nimbasa's citizenry, I'm also wondering about their reputation among the local pokemon. Since they were living on the streets for a while, they're more likely to run into pokemon that live around the city, and since most of their anti-mob excapades have been inside the subway (I'm still not entirely clear on whether or not this is mostly taking place in the tunnels, or if this takes place in the actual subway stations as well) I imagine they run into a lot of Pokemon living down there too

Due to their initial ignorance about battling culture, do they treat well pokemon differently? Are there a lot of homeless kids running around the city? Do some Pokemon know them as the weird, small humans that sort of give off a Litwick vibe (Their zappy aura)? Did they meet any of their pokemon on the on the street? Garbodor Would be the obvious one, but they found Litwick without leaving Nimbasa, so I'm curious what else you could think of

Do they perhaps have pokemon friends on the street who help them in their anti-mob escapades from time to time? If you wanted to explore that, you could probably swing it by having the gangs do something that disturb the Pokemon like poaching or something

Haha, I think I'm thinking about their reputation (pre-subway boss) among the general populace so much because I've read a lot of Batman fics that explore life in Crime Alley. Especially from the children's perspective because I like time travel. They've got child gangs who help each other survive, information networks (People might ignore you, but it's really hard to run around completely unnoticed), landlords who don't ask questions because they don't wanna get involved in your shit (They're either more sketchy than you or don't want to get involved in whatever you're involved in; plausible deniability), old ladies who give soup to their neighbors sometimes because the build might be horrible but not everybody in it is, the works!

Okay so this is completely raw train of thought that I refuse to be embarrassed over.  It also may jump around because it was written on two different days, since I had more Ideas™ about it.

Also, Emmet in the distortion world is absolutely influenced by @that1nkyone‘s Distortion Guide AU, tho not lifting anything from where they are taking that story.  Just that their idea of Emmet being in the distortion world definitely inspired my brain to go this way.

This is in my (god damnit I need a title) anti-mob AU

–

How Ingo Disappears

Ingo and Emmet get overwhelmed by some group.  Possibly make it Team Plasma, set during B&W 2 or something.  Or just some splinter group trying to rekindle things.  (Actually maybe when I think this AU out I could figure out how to make team Plasma the mob group.  Hmmmm….)  Either way, and for whatever reason, Ingo and Emmet are tied up while the group tries to do their thing. 

Keep reading

[artknifeandglue]

Hit a tiny lifelong milestone today!

It got me thinking - I used to write fic in a very active fandom with friends and big bangs, and then I stopped all fandom for a bit and ended up getting back in nearly ten years later. I always kind of accepted that yeah maybe no one's going to read the things I write, but there's a story I want to tell and so I'm going to tell it?

ngl I want to pitch some of the decade-old fics out the window and off the internet, but every so often someone happens upon them and leaves kudos on a story from some time ago. When that happens, it always makes me think of the joy of writing and completing the story I wanted to tell, and it makes me happy to know that there's someone out there who had something to read that they might have enjoyed.

There's "write for the sake of writing" and "write because you have a story you want to tell", and there's also "I'm really, really glad that someone else is also interested in this story that I wanted to tell". It's sort of mindblowing to think that a thousand people - I see a thousand people every morning 200 days a year, that's an entire school where I am, holy shit - took a couple of seconds out of their day to go hey I liked this, thanks! to a stranger they'll probably never meet.

Thank you fandom friends past and present (especially @lovingherwasgay and @toleranza-zero, the beta readers I had the fortune of working with!!), commenters all who leave the kindest words on every chapter and piece, readers who took the time to go through the piece, and everyone who's ever bothered clicking. 💕 I'm always up for talking and making new friends, so pop by DMs/asks anytime!

This is probably an excellent time to talk WIPs and statuses of ongoing projects, for anyone interested. List and musings below:

shadows, shadows took a backseat for a while for a couple of reasons: I hit a sudden dearth of inspiration and needed to relook how I plan, write, and publish to make sure I could keep going; my mental health took priority due to some things going on at work (I'm better now!) and my attention got pulled away from fic for a couple of weeks; I changed workplaces and then stopped writing for a month or two while I settled in; lastly, around the time that all of this happened, I started on a WIP that stayed a WIP for a few months, and then I embarked on Camp NaNoWriMo in July and my plans to write shadows, shadows went out the window for a few months (more details in next point!). Still, I fully intend to continue it - there are half-written scenes and plot outlines and side characters that I thoroughly enjoy writing. It might take a while longer, but it hasn't been abandoned. I'm pretty excited to go back to it!

as shattered stars shine technically doesn't count as a WIP given that it's finished, but it's on a publishing schedule and I really wanna talk about it because it's the work that pulled my attention away from shadows, shadows HAHAHA this started as a very simple "I have been inspired by a song!" but then I thought "hey what if we took Trope A and put it together with Trope B?". I started it sometime around end-April and it lay fallow for a little bit, and then Camp NaNoWriMo happened. What resulted was a small 5000-word piece abruptly became 26230 words, I suddenly realised there was a lot more story to tell, and the intensity of this piece unexpectedly ratcheted the mental capacity required up from inspiration to borderline-hyperfixation. I spent pretty much every waking moment from July to November either writing this piece or thinking about this piece until it was finally finished at the end of November, and then nearly all of December STILL thinking about it. I'm pretty proud of the piece and REALLY happy to have worked with my two wonderfully kind and helpful beta readers, and it's one of the pieces I'm proud to have finished and to have started posting.

presently untitled Kingsman coffee house AU happened while I was overseas and stumbled upon the New York Café in Budapest, known as one of the most beautiful cafés in the world. In keeping with the long tradition of writers and artists hanging out and working in European coffee houses, I started writing something while there. This is somewhat a reaction to as shattered stars shine and the process of writing it - every work I've written since November 2022 has been high-stakes and emotionally fraught in various ways, and as shattered stars shine is in many ways the culmination of all of that. I decided that I wanted to return to the good old coffeeshop AU with its minimal stakes and general happy vibes, and so this is born! It's still in bits and pieces, but I'm hoping I figure out what to do with it because it'll be nice to write something in which no one dies or gets hurt.

barista of the year (not Kingsman) is a WIP that's been on hold since February. Sorry! There's a really simple explanation for this: Kingsman and Hartwin took over my life, and hitherto-unexplored fandom is always shinier and more attention-grabbing than writing for a pairing in which I account for a double-digit proportion of the AO3 tag. I do want to get back to it eventually! It's my first coffee shop AU, and the fun I had writing the low-stakes everyday adventures of barista and dying PhD student pretty much laid the foundations for the above coffee house AU.

other miscellaneous WIPs: they're all Kingsman and they have maybe a couple of sentences / less than 1000 words, but I've got documents open for a Hunger Games AU and a reincarnation AU. Genuinely no clue if I can make anything of them, but we'll see how it goes.

That's it!

[spacegaynsfw]

hey! i’m exploring myself in regards to the aspec spectrum and i was hoping i could hear about your place on it and your experience because i’m really struggling rn

Hey!! I will do my absolute best, I'm not going to lie I haven't done too much soul searching on my end (partly because I don't feel the need to find an exact label for my experience; I'm just fine with making a vague gesture and going "idk, somewhere on the aspec spectrum lmao") but I can tell you a bit about what I've experienced that's led me to that conclusion!!

So, one big thing I realized that made me go "oh shit maybe I'm ace" is that I realized that people actually will look at people, people they don't know, and just based on their appearance as a human being... will want to fuck them? Or maybe even feel aroused by this??? I always thought maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration, like, based on how they thought they were hot? Like I can look at a person and go "yeah they're hot" but by that I mean "yes, they have a combination of physical attributes that is seen widely as attractive." It's not that I necessarily find them attractive, it's that I know other people do. Granted, there's an occasional exception here and there, but they're few and far between.

Another thing is with sexual fantasies. Rarely, if ever, do I actually put myself at the center of these. Even with reading and writing self-insert fic, it is almost never ME that I'm imagining as "you." Y'know? I'm usually fantasizing about scenarios, yes, but they're like, detached stories with no particular person involved. Certainly not myself. I will occasionally find myself fantasizing about specific body parts, but that's pretty rare, too. Definitely specific actions, though, even if not part of an overall scenario.

One of the things that made me hesitate from adopting the label was the fact that I'm like, a horny motherfucker and that's not very asexual of me (even though I KNOW that's not how that works.) You can be horny and not experience sexual attraction. You can not experience sexual attraction and be super kinky! Being sexually attracted to someone or not doesn't mean you can't have a fun time together. Certainly hasn't stopped me.

The other thing (and if you want more information on types of desire and just like, a good book on sexuality, particularly in women, please read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, it's SO good) is that my desire is 99.9% responsive. I pretty much never am just sitting there and apropos of nothing get horny. It's always something external that triggers it, whether it's a porn post I come across, a message I receive, or I actively seek out material that makes me wanna do sexy stuff. Granted, sometimes people's desire is responsive and they're no asexual, and that's totally normal! But for me I definitely think the two go hand in hand.

As for the aromantic side of things, that I'm still ruminating on. I've been tapped out of the dating game since early 2021 and I don't have any intention on changing that anytime soon, plus my relationship with my domme and her subs is enough for me right now, even though it isn't romantic in nature. Other than a couple of people, all the romantic relationships in my life have felt somewhat forced, although I don't know if that's because they actually were, or because I was a closeted lesbian and they really were forced. Granted, I also haven't had an honest to god crush in... years. Maybe ever? I genuinely don't know. So yeah, that I still need to sort out.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful, and if you have any specific questions or anything you wanna talk about please let me know!!! I'm happy to chat about it whenever!!

[feralghxuls]

hehe, for the fanfic asks gimme: 4, 13, 22, 43, 55, 57, 74, 78 >:3c

hehe hiiii ghestie

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

god its so hard. its SO HARD TO PICK. so many things i want to write and never enough time waugh. but usually what happens is i get a few lines of something in my head and i go to just jot those down and uhh it usually turns into a fic from there. but sometimes if a fic idea is sparkly enough i'll sit down and start writing it anyway even without the inspiring words

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

yes! if i dont have music playing i am far less productive with my writing but it has to be a specific vibe. lately i have been listening to niels nielson and MCC for writing, they have very nice quiet sounds (for the most part anyway, mister niels has a couple of songs that jumpscare me bc he just starts talking in the middle of them). but i also listen to autoheart while im writing, especially if i'm working on something with a lot of emotions to it

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

well. usually what happens is i finish a fic. i edit it. i get ready to post it and then i go SHIT I NEED A TITLE

occasionally though a title comes to me before im finished writing something, which is always a nice surprise. with my ghost fics i always use ghost lyrics as titles teehee

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

hmmmm. hm that is a good question. well my favorite character dynamic is grumpy/grumpy or grumpy/dry humor and there arent many options for that with the ghoulies (although now that i think about it...dew and mountain would fit the grumpy/dry humor trope fairly well....hmmmm)

as for ideas, i think for the most part i have wips or notes of most of the ideas i want to write, but one of them that i am very excited to work on more but have been stuck with is my rain/swiss soulmate au

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

i feel positive that there are wordings and phrases i use a lot, but even after skimming through some of my fics i can't find any good examples right now

but definitely some common themes, one thing i really enjoy doing is implementing dynamics that are unusual for the characters, its fun coming up with circumstances and situations that change things up and take them out of their comfort zones

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

oh i LOVE symbolism and foreshadowing, but honestly a lot of my fics aren't planned out enough for much intentional foreshadowing but i like to think that for some of the longer series i'm working on it'll work out to have some nice foreshadowing

74. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

🥺yess

my cumulus and swiss fic is one im really proud of with very tasty sweet mean cumulus and subby swiss

and then also this one with dew and swiss ft finger sucking a little bit o boot stuff (sub swiss again...i prommy i have some dom swiss content in the works)

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

one thing about me is i love completing things. i will add something to a list just to immediately cross it off and im a completionist in video games too, so just the feeling of having finished a fic is pretty motivating

another thing thing is sending snippets to my friends, thats always a nice little boost of serotonin and motivation bc i get some feedback and its always nice to hear someone say they're excited to see where a work is going

i also usually have ideas of things i want to happen later on, and if i wanna get to that i have to write my way to it so i basically am just dangling a carrot for myself lol

thank you sending so many questions!! twas fun hehe

[candyskiez]

20 questions for fic authors

thank you to my lovely mutual @zyrafowe-sny for the tag! for my no pressure tagging, only if you wanna, @phantasmaltrain @thousand-winters @kolapon @msbadatnamingthings @violet-prism-creatively @sir-ballister-boldheart @bleezebrew and anyone else who wants to join in!

how many fics do you have on ao3?

18! most are shoved to pseuds because I do not want them associated w me anymore but I don't want to make it so people who like the fics can't find more by me because that shit drives me insane.

what's your total ao3 word count?

29,876

what fandoms do you write for?

the owl house, mostly. I'm planning on expanding to more, writing for several more fandoms now in fact. but I mean if you've seen one of my fics somewhere, it's probably from owl house.

what are your top five fics by kudos?

an open book (with a torn out page) is very much in the lead still, stubborn is in second, loyal is in third, eggwart salad in fourth, and identity in fifth. I do think most of that is the toh fics being that popular because hunter + they were made during the show being super !!!!!, so when I post more fics the rating will probably change more. one day I'll actually finish more lmao I'm sorry guys I'm busy as shit.

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I try to! because when I'm commenting I'm always worried I'm being annoying andbtoo much about the fic and bugging the author so me replying is me trying to say "hey!!! I really appreciate this!!!!", although sometimes I just don't know what to say and ghost (sorry!!!!)

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ohhh god I gotta talk about my old fics great /lh, cold probably. I think it's the only FULLY hurt no comfort I've ever written? it and settle for a ghost. I'm leaning towards cold because

A. I hate settle for a ghost /lh

B. cold is literally about Pure Pain. there is no silver lining there is no "this character in canon gets a happy ending", it's just "this character is gonna die horribly in a few days, here's some angst"

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, eggwart salad is entirely father son fluff. it's just darius loving his weird son for several thousand words. but if we're talking fics with some sadder parts with a happier ending, probably happy new year, dear, or maybbbeeeee roses and lilies? I used to write a lot of that shit. man I need to write more of it.

do you get hate on fics?

not yet

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

none published no. that is all I'm gonna say and y'all can mind your business on everything else /lh

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

nope! never been my forte besides shit like in the setting of another media. ex, what if [x] character was a pokemon trainer and that shit.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge but they've probably been gobbled up by an ai at least once 😔

have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

have you ever cowriten a fic before?

that depends on your definition! I've done a lot of things where me and a group will brainstorm an idea together, make into a fully fledged thing and we'll all suggest dialogue. some of those conversations have become fics, sometimes even with my dialogue and a lot of my ideas. so I guess...yeah, I've cowriten fics! if that's your definition.

what's your all-time favorite ship?

hmmm, I'm not as much of a shipper anymore. but I did love twohina back in 2020-2021-2022 (ifykyk) and I do have a soft spot for raeda. goldenheart is currently blorboing though and I do love huntlow. and oh I love zukka! I don't know if I really have a favorite ship, though.

what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I really really really REALLY wanna finish dadrius week and am trying so hard. but ohhh my god my life is on fucking fire lately July just kind of exploded and it's been downhill from there lmao. but I'm slowly getting back up again so hopefully I do finish it. sorry gang my life's been on fire. as y'all have probably noticed lmao.

what's your writing strengths?

INTROSPECTION!!!! ohhh my god. character studies I like to think I can do pretty well! character analysis is my special interest. give me a character and I will find a way to give them depth so help me god.

what's your writing weaknesses?

ohhhh god. describing actions. like hand motions, fight motions, movements, expressions, visual shit, or anything descriptive, or just! shit like that! it's insane!! I don't fuckin know how!!!!

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have no fucking clue how and considering I want to write more luz stuff I really should learn. the problem is I Have No Fucking Clue How. do you see the issue.

first fandom you wrote for?

warriors, not on ao3. first fandom bb.

favorite fic you've ever written?

open book! I think it holds up pretty well, although I do wish I focused more on how the secret effects gus. one day I really want to sit down and write something with him , I just need to get in his head more. I do think my hunter characterization was pretty good there? I think? I hope so. I need to work on him again, he's tough to nail down.

thanks for the tag, and I hope you enjoyed seeing my thoughts :D

for anyone curious, my ao3 is here! mind the spoilers!

[riacte]

lil salty personal rant

mostly a me problem but it's like, annoying to go online and see what everyone's talking abt bc you're excited and people are sincerely like "false doesn't deserve to win" "ren is being bullied" and i'm over here blinking rapidly like ??? i know i am biased af but this is the exact opposite of what i'm feeling??? and the dissonance is... yeah, it doesn't feel good.

i dont consider myself a ren og, far from it actually, but then ive watched him since 2019/20 so... uh. long enough maybe. long enough to remember ren/skall </3 i loved the early neighbourhood banter and shit bc it felt like an expanded version of what i loved from the old days (sea of thieves stream etc). like ren and iskall are back!!! false ren iskall stress!! even mumbo's here! mumbo roasting ren is so funny! false and ren as always! this is fucking great! this is all i ever wanted-

and then it's like. oh. :/ and also. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨...?????

i knew ppl would be annoying about false. false could breathe and someone would find a way to shit on her. but i was taken aback by the ren thing 😭😭😭 and it makes me uncomfortable bc i do love LOVE ren's interactions with his buds and it makes me uncomfortable to see it typed as bullying when it is nottttt. not even in a rp aspect. like it's upsetting. esp bc i love false+ren and ren+iskall etc so much. false has literally been so nice on camera to ren from day zero (wrote a fic about it even). that's just how??? friendships work??? esp longtime friends who are clearly comfortable enough with each other to make these kind of jokes?? and iskall, ISKALL, iskall who's known ren for what is prob like ten years now... that's how they've always been. they're best friends. and it's upsetting to see these friendships be somehow seen as... bullying?? roleplay bullying?? whatever the fuck? hello????????? hadn't lots of people been vocal abt how much they love ren and ren about how much he loves his friends??

it's also doing a heavy disservice to ren's character lmao. he can fight back. lmao. he's not just uwu pathetic dog who does everything for everyone and lets them step on him. sometimes (a lot of the times) you have to be close with someone and know them well in order to dare to roast them (bc you know no one's gonna get hurt).

sometimes the fandom makes it tough for me to engage with. and i love engaging with the fandom. usually. i guess it's time to take my own advice and fuck off and to Pretend To Not See It and just watch hc. and make my five million false and ren being silly posts. bc i have to be annoying about them and spread the propaganda lol. gotta make what you wanna see. add some diversity in whatever the fuck is going on

anyways. false and ren enjoyers win like we always do <3 that ep was sooo cute im gonna get diabetes. i love how false's voice changes when she talks to ren, it's so soft 🥺 love wins forever

seeing false AND ren being somewhat shat on / criticised re: demise finale is so unserious because this is literally what happened after mcc9. "ren barely did anything" "false wasn't online" some people HATE to see the power of friendship win. love and miracles etc etc

tumblr is literally the only usable site re: this bc twitter does not give a flying fawk (probably for the better!!!!!), reddit is half normal, quarter "does not give a fuck", quarter "salty bitchy people), and yt comments are a nightmare as always.

it's giving mcc9 again sorrryyyyyyyy like those two besties will win something and be like ^_^ while some salty people go up in flames lmfao.