#sometimes i have trouvle even tryint to gush cause it feels like i dont even know what to say anymore cause i hardly ever get to do it
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I normally don't make vent posts on this blog(even though no one really sees this blog anyways) but I'm going to completely spill in the tags ✌️JCJDJSJ
#i swear i used to be able to gush so much#and then a bunch of stuff happened and now i feel a weird feeling in my stomach every time i do it#it just feels like its a waste of time or no one really cares about what im saying#i talk with a selfshipping friend on discord and they gush all the time and i feel like i can never get a word in#i still gush a bunch but i just feel like im taking up space and time whenever i vocalize it#i feel like no one cares#like normally if youre friend is into something you care about that something as well a little or have some compassion for iy#cause its important to your friend so it has some value to you as well#i feel like there is zero value or care or compassion for what i say#but like...especially with gushing#i so wish i could describe the feeling or have words for it cause its such a unique feeling that i havent entirely felt before#i feel like theres never any room for me to talk. like theres only enough time for others to talk and nothing left over for me#or like im constantly interrupting every conversation even if its dead silent and we havent talked in an hour#or like i always bring it up at a bad time#i used to be able to gush so much and so freely but now i feel like i feel bad after every time i do it#even sometimes i feel bad gushing HERE. on MY blog that is for SELFSHIPPING and gushing and talking about my F/Os#sometimes i have trouvle even tryint to gush cause it feels like i dont even know what to say anymore cause i hardly ever get to do it#like everything is always about someone else and never about me
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