#sometimes i forget to mention him by name but they still know who im talking abt because i never shut up abt him fkdkkdd

[lyricalambrosia]

Almost feel embarrassed by the person i turn into when responding to comments where i pretend to be normal because what if they come to my blog afterward and see me having a breakdown in the tags of a legato post because i want to bite him like an overzealous dog with a chew toy

[jiminrings]

four seven eight, phase 3 (1)

pairing: jungkook x reader

wordcount: 9k

glimpse: jungkook's secure when it comes to being a husband and a dad, knowing that he grew to love being both after everything you've been through. what he isn't so secure about is the possibility that it's everything he'll ever be.

alternatively, jungkook pursues his dream of making a film, even if it means making your rival his main lead behind your back.

[ part one, intermission, part two, intermission 02, finale — complete series masterlist, from phase 1 to 3 ]

[ the return of 478jk (derogatory), major angst, fluff, the weight of devotion except jk's mean this time, flashbacks to phase 1 (im so sorry), the both of them r in an identity crisis, The Return of yoongi, yearning and the ache of unfulfillment all over, eventual redemption ]

notes: FINALLYYYYYY after a long wait, phase three is finally here :-) the og era of 478 is a time i'll truly never forget so now that i'm putting them in Several Inconveniences again, i look forward to creating another era with u citizens!!! mwah thank u love yew

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!

Jungkook likes to be needed.

He likes to be needed fully, sometimes even all at once to the point that every mention of his name makes him think that his assistance is needed. He wants to be needed like the way you rummage through your old film canisters that you dumped in a large drawer just to retrieve a specific picture of him; needed like the way you sigh in relief when you find said roll.

Jungkook wants you to seek him in a crowd, past all the banners of your name from your fans and lanyards of your staff, and ask specifically him for a cold water bottle he keeps in his bag for you. As a matter of fact, he wouldn’t even mind if you ask it from him indiscreetly — he wants to be needed, even if neither of you are alone with each other.

He’s used to the feeling of being needed because it’s practically routine for him. The way Jungkook loves you has changed and evolved (needlessly to say for the better) through the years, and although he tries to look for the balance in it all, there’s a tiny, tiny part of him that wonders what would’ve happened if neither of you changed.

It’s perhaps the change in seasons, or maybe it’s the build-up of the stupid little things Jungkook’s seen recently; one of those things happen to be a ridiculously long thread by your fan, who happens to also be a fan of Yoongi, assuming that your marriage with J*ngkook (that’s exactly how they typed his name out) is ending, hence your recent collaboration on a brand deal. Jungkook, of course, has half the mind to go on his secret stan account and snark at said poster before reporting, but even then, there’s an itch in his mind that he can’t scratch.

Whatever weather it is outside nowadays or whichever stupid little thing pisses him off online, Jungkook can’t shake off the nagging question of what if in his mind.

When Jungkook cleans your water bottle every night for you to take to set the next day, he wonders if the two of you would still be together if only he didn’t rush to your place by the exact second your month-long break ended, right when he takes off the rubber from the cap to clean the ridges thoroughly.

When he blowdries your hair (even if you tell him not to bother) after you begrudgingly take a shower because you can’t sleep in bed after going outside and not washing up the second you come home, he wonders if you would’ve kept loving him even if the very incident with Sora didn’t push him to change, right when he sees you close your eyes while his hands scratch your scalp.

When Jungkook sounds out syllables to Hwayoung and tries his very best not to baby-talk her (he can’t help it sometimes) as he recounts his day to the toddler, he wonders if you would’ve even had a daughter with him if he stayed the same silent lover that he used to be, right when she parrots your name back to him with a smile.

“Young-ie’s probably starting to need me less and less,” he sighs to you with a pout, eyebrows knitted in concern as he gives you his rookie version of a blowout he’s still trying to perfect. Jungkook can’t flick his wrist the way professional hairstylists do, just in the same way you can’t pick up why he’s brought up the thought out of nowhere.

“How could you say that? She’s the biggest daddy’s girl ever,” you chuckle, placating him with the truth despite your initial confusion. If you weren’t fully awake awhile ago, you certainly are now — mostly because Jungkook springs up an unbelievable idea, and partly because whenever he tugs the brush at your hair, your whole head comes along with it.

“Not really. More like biggest mommy’s girl, you mean,” he defensively scoffs, apologizing quickly when he hears you wince at a particular experimental tug he does on your ends.

“Should we wake her up right now and let her decide?” you murmur, your eyes locking with his on the mirror.

Jungkook, at his most comfortable state, wearing ratty oversized pajamas and glasses on his face that he’s yet to update the prescription on, has never felt more competitive in his life.

“Well we could-…”

“I was joking,” you deadpan, the silence between the two of you getting long enough to the point that you suddenly find yourself laughing, effectively getting Jungkook out of his daze.

“… I knew that.”

You may have had an inkling about Jungkook feeling slightly off before in the past weeks, but all it took was his random, unprompted question tonight for you to solidify that seed of concern in your chest.

Jungkook likes to be needed, even if he can’t say the same that you need him as much as he thinks you do. He thinks it’s a perfectly rational feeling to want to be needed by both your wife and your daughter, and although he’s not as receptive to being needed as much by anyone other than his family, the feeling still stays the same.

He has all the time in the world. You’ve enabled him to do so even if he’s the one mainly looking after Hwayoung while you worked, but despite that, Jungkook doesn’t feel needed enough.

There’s an itch in his mind that he can’t scratch with neither your constant affection nor Hwayoung’s grabby hands. There’s an unplaceable, agitating urge in Jungkook’s chest to put a pause on everything and be back to who and what he used to be, despite your affirmation that he is needed.

There’s that tick going on in Jungkook’s brain that amplifies everything he does to seem wrong; that makes him grumpy when he wakes up to prepare you breakfast whenever you had early shoots, that makes him purse his lips when his daughter asks him to watch the same movie with her for the third time in the week.

All of the uneasiness in him, however, disappears when Namjoon, the acclaimed screenwriter that he has for a friend (whom he actually met through you), calls him up with an offer that Jungkook can’t refuse.

It’s an offer that releases the ache from his bones, makes him want to blowdry your hair better, and watch the same movie over and over again with his daughter — but Jungkook postpones saying it to you when you come home and want nothing more than to be in his arms, and for Hwayoung to be in yours.

( ♡ )

Jungkook could wait more.

He convinces himself that he can because although there’s a date set for the short film that Namjoon’s pitched for him to produce, it hasn’t grown yet to become the unstoppable force against Jungkook’s immovable object: family.

He knows he needs to tell you eventually and that he’s not really asking for permission in the first place, but there’s a sense of guilt in him whenever the thought of breaking the news to you comes into mind. He’s not nervous per se because he knows you’re as supportive of him, if not more, like he is with you.

It just happens that it’s within the fine details that Jungkook truly feels hesitant to tell you that he has to leave for awhile.

Jungkook could wait more, and although that means he has to deal with the occasional voice in his head telling him that lying to you (even under the guise of protecting you) has the capacity to bite back at him, he manages. He swallows down the words whenever you unintentionally give him an opening to tell you about the news of him going abroad, and just settles for holding your hand.

He could wait more because telling you now wouldn’t be the right time, now when you’re on your day-off as you’re close to wrapping up your current project before moving to the bigger, more exhausting one; not now when you have a time of reprieve to spend with your family before taking on the biggest project of your career to date.

Jungkook hums to himself as he looks down on Hwayoung who has a tiny shopping cart to herself, her strikingly round eyes that she got from him (Hwayoung looks more like him the older she gets) looking up to his own.

“Hi, pretty girl,” he lulls, mumbling loudly enough for only her to hear. “You’d understand if appa left for awhile, right?”

“Left?” she questions, holding up her left hand at the mention yet she reels at his query, brows furrowing as she seems to digest the question. “Why?”

“Yup. That’s your left. Good job, baby,” Jungkook praises, the knot in his throat growing when he looks to his daughter who looks confused at the sudden query, again, that came out of nowhere. “You would, won’t you?”

Hwayoung hums because she doesn’t quite understand, but that’s the thing that Jungkook fears most — she’s young and smart and although he wants to use those facts to his advantage, he realizes that Hwayoung being the age that she is in now could also prove him to be dispensable.

Jungkook likes being needed, but he’s much too afraid of the possibility that Hwayoung won’t even recall him as soon as he leaves.

Your husband’s snapped out of his reverie when you go downstairs with a skip in your step, the tell-tale mischievous tone to your voice already predicting that Hwayoung would make the two of you chase after her in the backyard all day. “What are the two of you plotting again?” you ask playfully, hands on your hips as Jungkook chuckles at the sight of his two girls.

“Nothing!” Hwayoung giggles, the word slipping out of her seamlessly as she even shakes her hands fervently, accustomed to what you mean exactly with your tone of voice. She’s young and bright and you see so much of Jungkook in her, even if Jungkook would argue otherwise.

Jungkook’s dazed this morning with the way his gaze locks in from far away, his bottom lip bit between his teeth more often than not as if he’s always at war with himself.

“You okay, Kook?”

“Mhmm. Couldn’t be better,” he hums half-heartedly, his lips grazing your temple as he guides you to sit down on the carpet with him. “You finally slept for more than eight hours. That’s good,” he says as an afterthought, the pauses in between his words growing in distance as his gaze is fixated on everything but you.

Jungkook looks at your daughter who’s now pushing Miso around the house in her shopping cart, and while your cat (who’s always seemed to hate your husband) looks more than pleased at being played with, she meows to Jungkook and only at him with a hiss at the end of her spiel as if in warning — as if Jungkook is guilty of something that only the two of them know about.

Almost as if out of everyone in the room, it’s only your cat who knows that Jungkook’s lying.

Jungkook can wait, but he’s certain that he can’t wait any longer because if his brain is unoccupied for long enough, he’ll start to hear Miso cursing at him through her yowls.

“Hwayoung doesn’t look like she needs you any less,” you say gently, your line of sight following Jungkook’s as he tenses at your words.

“Oh,” he sighs, jaw grinding down to a halt. “Right."

Your words seemingly came out of nowhere, even if the both of you know deep down that they’re influenced by his impulsive thoughts from last week.

“You can say the same for me,” you add, not as an afterthought, but as a lesser-known fact that Jungkook seems to forget every now and then.

There’s a weight in his chest because all of a sudden, Jungkook can’t wait anymore. The itch in his mind has already been scratched too much that it had already bled and scabbed.

There’s a weight in his chest that reminds him he can’t wait anymore, because in hindsight, the weight of him and everything that comes with him settles on his shoulders.

Maybe, Jungkook doesn’t want to be needed as much.

( ♡ )

Jungkook drops the news on you while you’re folding laundry.

He was meant to go for sincere but the way the words leave him, right when you’re in the middle of folding Hwayoung’s pajamas that she’s about to overgrow in the soonest, it sounds as if he’s been dying to tell you; now that he has, he sounds beyond relieved.

“Namjoon offered me a script,” he announces, taking the pajamas from you to put in his pile as he sees your eyes widen, the remnants of the heavy mascara they used on you on set awhile ago highlighting your surprise. “He wants me to produce.”

“What?” you punctuate, tilting your head as you try to make sense of what Jungkook’s saying. You know he’s speaking and you’re familiar with said words; you just never expected for them to be compacted in the same sentence, meaning the way that he makes it out to be. “Kim Namjoon, as in the producer for In Terms of Eternity?”

He chirps at that, posture straightening as he tries to jog your memory. “Yeah. You’ve worked with him before and introduced us, then turns out Jin’s also a friend of his and-…"

“I mean I know Namjoon and that you’re friends with him, Jungkook,” you interrupt, trying to reel yourself in as you’ve lost your focus trying to fold Hwayoung’s clothes and talk to your husband at the same time. “But I didn’t know you were that close for him to ask you to produce something for him.”

Jungkook doesn’t completely crash from the high he’s in over finally telling you the news, but there’s that spike that flashes briefly over his face, the frown on his lips letting on more than he shows.

“What’s that supposed to mean?"

You sigh at the impossible position the both of you are in, the words that try to line themselves up in your temple being no match to the way they translate out-loud. “It means nothing. I’m just… surprised that he’d ask you to be a producer for his script, that’s all. It came out of nowhere.”

Jungkook recoils at that, a stubborn brow raised as he tries to keep his composure. “Because you don’t think I’m capable of being a producer?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” you inhale sharply, gripping a random article of Hwayoung’s clothing beside you to pace yourself. “Namjoon’s.. big. He’s established, and well, you’ve never become a producer before.”

“And you have?” Jungkook digs, even if it’s unnecessary to do so, and the way his face falls at the forthcoming regret that creeps up to him lets you know that he thinks so too.

“Jungkook,” you try again, quirking your lips to the side as you try to manage with the pace he’s set you up on. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. This is all new to me. All new to you, even. If anything, it’s nice that Namjoon trusts you a lot.

“He does. We’re close,” he nods, clearing his throat as he feels that the both of you could move on to the other phase of the news you had interrupted him at. “As a matter of fact, we’re taking it on a global scale.”

Jungkook doesn’t get why your face falls.

He doesn’t get why your shoulders rise and fall, not in relief, but out of controlled tension that threatens to pour over.

“What?”

“The script. The film,” he smiles, trying to get you to finish his sentence and connect the dots together but to no avail. “It’s… it’s — we have to film in the US for a few months.”

“What?” you repeat, the knot in your throat tangling up more and more hesitance in you the longer it stays there.

“I said, we have to-…”

“No, I heard what you said,” you interrupt, jaw clenching tightly as you try to grasp everything Jungkook has said.

You don’t get why Jungkook’s smiling.

You don’t get why he’s completely at ease and only in confusion as he sees you piece everything out.

“Then what’s the matter?”

“Kook, all of this is new. Everything you’ve just said is and will be new,” you chuckle humorlessly, running your hand through your hair in frustration as you try to relax. “I’m happy for you, believe me, but Jungkook, what you’re saying is serious. It’s a lot to take in,” you pause, eyes wide as you repeat the words to yourself. “You. Producing. In the US, of all places, a-and for months.”

There’s not one exact emotion that runs through you because the longer that Jungkook looks at you, ecstatic, while you’re weighing what he’s just said like a bag of bricks — you feel even more conflicted.

Your husband wrings his hands together, nervously smiling at you as if he’s asking for permission, but the both of you know that his mind’s already set. He thinks the opportunity of producing a short film that’s been drafted by his friend is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, eager to take off even if he’s had no experience at all in the industry.

“I don’t know, baby. It’s just been so long since I got this excited and alive, y’know? It’s a nice change of pace and I get to do something nice-…”

“Isn’t being with your daughter nice?” you ask abruptly, unable to mask the conflict that’s been brewing in your mind ever since Jungkook pulled you aside to talk. You feel hesitant; disconnected even from wrapping your head around his wording.

Even convincing yourself that you’re just spent from working sunrise to sundown doesn’t work. No matter how hard you try, Jungkook’s tone remains as is.

“Y/N,” he sighs, lips in a tight line as he screws his eyes shut. “Don’t start.”

“I’m not starting anything, Jungkook,” you grit, crossing your arms in defense. You feel guarded more than ever, not because you’re the one whom he’s pertaining to, but because your Hwayoung is involved and you won’t sit around for it. “It’s just that when you put it like that, it sounds like taking care of Hwayoung is a chore.”

You used to be sure awhile ago that you were seeing double because in between memorizing scripts and going from schedule to schedule without any time to rest in between, you’ve been worried sick because Jungkook hadn’t texted you the whole day. You were shocked enough to come home to your daughter playing by herself downstairs (with Miso watching her the whole time), even more-so when you saw Jungkook engrossed in a highly-enthusiastic phone call.

Jungkook sighs as if talking to you completely exhausts him, pinching his nosebridge before muttering under his breath. “Like you’re one to talk.”

“Excuse me?” you blink in surprise, tilting your head in sheer confusion. You’re about to shrug it off but he does that thing again, the one where he almost rolls his eyes at you but realizes it at the last minute.

“Nothing.”

“Say that again, Jungkook.”

“My god,” Jungkook groans, throwing his head back. He runs his hands through his hair frustratedly, sucking in a rushed breath. He looks straight at you when he gives his grievance. “I’m just saying! Why do you get to live out your dream but I don’t?”

“This is my job,” you bite back instantly, the second it took for you to digest his words being enough time for him to groan again. “If it were up to me, do you think I’d work six days a week? Do you not know how much it kills me to stay away from my family?”

You’re at a loss for words, the tiny bit of insecurity you have being dug up once again. You feel guilty because you actually don’t — you know to yourself that you still dedicate so much of yourself to Jungkook and Hwayoung even if you work full-time.

Jungkook chokes up a laugh in front of your face.

“Then quit your dream if you’re so miserable.”

Your jaw clenches quickly in annoyance, unable to retain the disbelief that builds up in your chest. “My dream is my job! It’s why we’re living this life in the first place, Jungkook! Your dream is this project that was pitched to you like what, two weeks ago?”

“Can I not live my life the way that I want to?” he asks exaggeratedly, eyes wide in defense. “Why am I only your husband and why am I only Hwayoung’s dad? Why can’t I go to the US a-and try things out? Why can’t I be free from all this even for just a while?”

Your mouth falls apart at that, your moment of shock simultaneously being Jungkook’s instance for guilty. He wants to reel it in right then and there, but the small part of his pride grows to hold him back.

“Do we hold you back that much?” you whisper, the headache that has been building in your head since this morning shrinking to the size of Jungkook’s words. “What are you getting so angry for? I’m not saying no. I’m asking you why you’re so hellbent on suddenly leaving to do this.”

A large part of you, if not all, feels more disappointed than angry. Hwayoung has not and should never be an afterthought for the both of you yet Jungkook brings her up with you like mere variables.

You can grasp the fact that being a parent is a full-time job like yours yet what you can’t get a hold of is your husband’s apprehension; his sudden need of pursuing something beyond your family.

“Because I’m scared, Y/N,” Jungkook whispers, exhaling heavily. “I’m scared that this is all what life could ever be for me.”

It’s only when you’re completely silent that he comes back to the severity of his words, the tension that’s been building up in him breaking the moment that you break eye contact with him.

“I’m sorry for being your wife.”

“Baby, that’s not-…” Jungkook tries to correct himself, hot on your heels as you get up from your seat on the couch. You’re not even speeding up yet he catches you just as urgently, the hold he has on your arm doing little to put you at ease.

“And I’m sorry for making you a dad.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, I’m-…”

“You should do this project if you really want to,” you quip, back still turned to him as you enter the bedroom. Jungkook noticeably stops in his tracks, the furrow in his brows fading because you’ve put him on whiplash.

“What?”

“You’ve held down the fort while I was out being the breadwinner. It’ll be nice for you to do your own thing,” you smile tightly, eager to sleep on the whole thing just so you don’t stay hung-up for too long.

“What about Hwayoung? What about your film? They want it to be an entry for the Academy, right?” he asks in concern, different from the worry he had awhile ago when he thought you were against him leaving.

You nod, easily shrugging despite the weight on your shoulders. “I’m her mom, of course. She’s gonna come first. And for the film, I think I can still do it. I’ll juggle them both if I have to.”

Jungkook nods, eyes set on the floor. He didn’t think this far at all.

“Do you want to hire a nanny? I know a friend.”

“I’ll pass. I don’t trust nannies.”

There’s an overwhelming silence that engulfs the both of you, the white noise machine in your nightstand unable to fill it completely. Jungkook looks at the ceiling while you look at Hwayoung who’s sprawled in the middle of your bed, clutching Miso like a teddy bear — she already fell asleep waiting for the both of you.

“I didn’t mean what I said awhile ago, I’m sorry. It came out the wrong way,” Jungkook apologizes after some time, hand darting out to hold yours while you only hover above your vanity, taking off all of your jewelry except for your wedding ring.

“When do you leave?” you ask, still unable to meet his gaze.

“Next week,” he clears his throat. “When do you start filming?”

You nod, coming into terms that Jungkook would leave no matter what you say. “Next week.”

You’re arranging the covers when your husband tries to hold you again, voice strained and rushed. “Y/N, I really am sorry. I love being your-…”

“Shh,” you interrupt, pursing your lips. “Hwayoung’s sleeping.”

( ♡ )

You asked for a day off.

You’ve rarely ever asked for them throughout your entire career because you were built on the mindset that at the end of the day, you’re also an employee no matter what gig you land. Be it the cameos you used to book with Yoongi or the titular characters you take from studio after studio, you’re still the employee who had worked her way up fairly.

You didn’t ask for it during that instance when you fell sick after back-to-back shoots because you didn’t want to waste anyone’s time. You didn’t ask for it when you woke up with the type of fatigue that settled in your body no matter how hard you closed your eyes or laid your head against the cushions.

You’ve never asked for it for your sake, but you’ve asked for a day off now because Jungkook’s leaving for a place you can’t come and go to as you wish.

Unlike your house or the hotels you book for him and Hwayoung to be at whenever you have to film out of town, Jungkook’s out of reach. He’s one call away, granted that your timezones match up and there’s a connection strong enough for it to continue without a hitch. He’s far from your grasp and he will be for months on end, and you don’t think you can ever stomach working on the same day he’s leaving.

“Are you seeing me off at the airport?” he asks during the car ride, voice audible enough for only you to hear and not Hwayoung who’s sprawled across both of your laps, sleeping soundly with her plushie that resembled Miso.

“I will, but I don’t think I can see you off near the gate. I can only manage up to here,” you answer honestly, willing yourself not to break down even if the both of you are still in the car, away from any prying eyes of the media that lurks outside. “So can Hwayoung,” you add, a large part of you being grateful that she’s asleep when Jungkook has to leave so neither of you would hear her cries.

Jungkook sees that hesitance in you, the same kind that softens him into fragments.

“It’ll only be for awhile, okay? Just for a few months,” he smiles tightly, rearranging his backpack next to him, the keyring that held Hwayoung’s second-favorite toy (not the ultimate favorite because she won’t ever let him take it) clattering loudly. “I love you,” Jungkook murmurs. “Do you know that?”

“Mhmm.”

“Say it back.”

You refuse to do so because saying it back feels finite, perhaps even forced, because although you love Jungkook, saying so at the moment only weighs you down as reality sinks in. “This is gonna be easy for us, right?"

“It’s not like we’ve never been in a similar set-up before,” he shrugs, the pout on his face casual as he tries to level with you.

“But this is different, Jungkook. This is beyond different. We have Hwayoung and now, we’re both working,” you stammer, chest rising and falling as you wrap your head around everything. “This— this isn’t Seoul to Jeonju. This isn’t a leave by day, come back by night type of trip. This is-…”

“You’re freaking out,” Jungkook interjects, his soft yet stern voice cutting through your thoughts as he lays a hand on your thigh, the platinum of his wedding band looking right up at you.

You surrender in defeat, not because you’re fighting with your husband, but because there’s simply no other answer he could ever conjure for you as to why this is happening.

“Why aren’t you? Why am I the only one scared?” you whisper.

“You’re not supposed to be.”

“Of course. It’s not like you— we put everything on the line,” you clear your throat, looking down on your shoes as you convince yourself. You ignore how you’re still not entirely aware of what’s with Jungkook’s project, other than the fact that Namjoon’s the screenwriter, all in favor of giving you a semblance of sanity before Jungkook leaves you and Hwayoung. “Right?”

( ♡ )

You wonder if Jungkook already ate breakfast.

You wonder if he ate the supposedly excellent in-flight meal that comes with first-class tickets, or if he ate the ramen he’s always had a penchant for eating especially during your trips, whether by land, sea, or air. You wonder if he’s grumpy with the altitude and the way he has to pop his ears ever so often, along with the way he always seems to be too long for airplane seats turned into beds.

You call but Jungkook doesn’t answer, even if you know he’ll never not purchase in-flight wifi because he’d rather knock himself out than have to read a book or something of the sort. You message, but then again, your husband doesn’t answer, even if you know he’ll much rather reply via text than to record a voice note because he’s shy with people hearing him in public spaces, albeit closed.

Hwayoung waits patiently beside you, swinging her legs back and forth on the couch as Miso stays up with her. She should’ve been in bed half an hour ago but you let her stay up with you, all in the pursuit of getting Jungkook to respond.

“Appa?” she asks again after a minute of you trying for her dad but through another app, her pout reminding you of Jungkook’s who’s unreachable.

You try not to frown in front of her, leveling yourself as you settle for kissing her forehead to cover up the sigh that originates deep from your chest.

“Not yet, Young-ie.”

.

.

.

There’s no text from Jungkook when you wake, but there is a picture of him in the buffet of the private lounge he’s staying at during his layover.

Atleast Jungkook did eat breakfast and Hwayoung was able to sleep without him (the first of what you dread is many), nevermind the dull thrum in your chest in Jungkook’s absence.

( ♡ )

Hwayoung's been behaved the whole time you were on set.

With Jimin prioritizing his voluntary role of being a babysitter to your daughter over his position of being a manager to you, you became instantly comforted at the reassurance that you're not in this situation alone.

It's only been a week since you started working right after Jungkook left, his absence rearranging every system you've previously had in place. You do your very best to have Hwayoung still thriving, and even just the reminder that you are succeeding at being the only present parent for the meantime melts all of your fatigue away.

Your trailer's more equipped for her than it is for you, the space apparently reminding Hwayoung of home so much that it's enough to make her remind you that Miso should go join the both of you sometime. Your dressing room's always been hers, and so has been the affection of everyone close to you.

“I take my role of godfather very seriously.”

Yoongi explains even if you haven't asked him anything. In fact, you weren't talking to begin with. It's not in his nature to talk for the sake of talking (that's Jungkook's), but even with Hwayoung in his arms and you still being lost in your thoughts, he can't help but to feel concerned.

“I can tell," you snicker, finally taking notice of the sight in front of you. The earpiece that was previously on Yoongi is now slung over Hwayoung's shoulder, obviously too big on her. She wanted it as an accessory (it reminds her of the toy stethoscope she'd put on Miso as a collar) and with Yoongi being himself, he can't bring himself to say no.

Your shooting day's nearly over and although today wasn't as long as your previous record of hours on end, you already seem exhausted. Yoongi, of all people, knows what scenes wear you out. You hated doing monologues as a rookie and still despise monologues (but with random, out-of-place advertisements in between) as a veteran — you’ve done neither today.

"What's with the frown?" he asks gently, not only because Hwayoung’s been quiet for the past two minutes and she’s getting groggy, but also because if he were to ask you any louder, he feels as if you’d break.

"It's nothing," you answer automatically, looking at Hwayoung to ground yourself. "Just usual family things, I guess."

"Trouble in paradise?" Yoongi asks with a chuckle, abruptly stopping his fit of amusement when he gets goosebumps starting from the tail of his spine. He instantly recognizes it as deja vu. "I've asked you this before, haven't I?"

The realization doesn’t hit you until he points it out.

"Mhmm," you hum absent-mindedly, playing with the hem of your dress. “I don't think the problem now is anything like how it was before, though."

One night several years ago, you and Yoongi were sat side-by-side in the booth of a club, the heartbreak you had over what Jungkook’s done (and haven’t, at the time) being the wedge between you.

Now, Yoongi’s standing in front of you while you’re sat down, your daughter with Jungkook in his arms.

“Me neither. I don't know how you and Jungkook can encounter any problem worse than last time, to be honest," he chuckles, shaking his head at the recollection of the hell you’ve been through. "Also, I think I can say that because I literally don't know what's going on with you. But if you do tell me-!"

"You're so nosy,” you snort, the brief moment of playfulness welcome because your head aches the longer that you dwell over your worries.

"I can be the judge to see if what you're going through now is worse than before," Yoongi shrugs to fake nonchalance, unaware that you’re gasping in awe until you kick him lightly in the shin.

Hwayoung’s asleep in his arms.

"She's never did that with anyone before," you murmur, fishing for your phone to take a picture, but not before quickly skimming to see if Jungkook’s sent you any messages; he hasn’t. “She only either sleeps in mine or Jungkook's arms. Not for my parents, not for my in-laws. Just me and him."

Yoongi smiles proudly, stroking Hwayoung’s hair proudly. "What can I say? I'm godfather of the year."

He only sways her gently back and forth, rocking her with the patience and attention that remind you of Jungkook’s when Hwayoung was a newborn.

You’re calm and quiet to see her adjusting so well already, but you can’t help but to feel lost because you feel the exact opposite. No one’s gonna stroke your hair for you and tell you to take your time — those are Jungkook’s tasks alone, yet your grievances are also because of him.

"Jungkook's producing this short film in the US. It's by his friend," you mutter under your breath after some time in silence. Yoongi flicks his eyes up at you as if you’re talking about the weather, careful not to make you feel more conflicted than you already are. “You know… by Namjoon.”

"Since when was he into that?" he asks out of curiosity, eyebrows furrowed because he didn’t know that your opening line would ever transition to this point in the conversation. Yoongi catches a second wind the longer he processes your words, the scoff that leaves his lips making his bangs loose despite the hairspray on them. “Since when did Jungkook and Namjoon belong in the same sentence?”

"I don't know either.”

"So we're both producers now?" he snickers, the teasing already coming natural. "Nepo husband alert."

You roll your eyes in recognition, clearing your throat as soon as the laughter died between the two of you. “We got into this argument and I don't know, I-I realized I was being selfish for a moment because I didn't want him to go at first, you know?" you admit in full sincerity, exhaling the lump that forms in your throat. “He said he was afraid that this is everything he'll be. My husband, Hwayoung's dad. So on and so forth."

Yoongi only listens this time, giving the occasional hum there to remind you that he’s still there.

"And last night, he, uh, he forgot to call," you gulp, already feeling the weight of your worries settle in your stomach. "The call wasn't even for me. It's for Hwayoung because he promised he'll still read her whatever she wants."

The three of you cherish that time together because normally, it happens as soon as you get home from work. Hwayoung’s long graduated from storybooks and has now branched out to the most ridiculous texts that Jungkook indulges her with nonetheless — from the ingredient list at the back of milk cartons, and all the way to Reddit threads of how cats find their way back home to owners.

"He's been secretive about the whole thing and I-I… I do that too with my projects, I get it. But only at first because I'm literally bound to an NDA," you stammer, pinching your nosebridge to get past the frustration. “I’m just-…!" you give up, admitting the truth. "I did some snooping."

"And?" Yoongi prompts, tilting his head in anticipation.

"I think he's been secretive because the main lead's Eunsu."

Yoongi recoils at that, so much so that it almost wakes up Hwayoung.

"Eunsu? As in Park Eunsu?" he repeats, the scowl on his face getting deeper the more that you stay indifferent. “Eunsu as in your nemesis?"

You relent, the mention of her finally hitting close.

"Nemesis sounds a little childish."

Yoongi scoffs immediately, rolling his eyes at your correction. “I mean yeah, because people keep pitting her against you when she doesn't even come close," he shrugs easily, make you tut in warning. "What? I'm just saying what everybody's been thinking."

To know that you can still confide in Yoongi no matter what comforts you — what doesn’t is that this time around, your gut feeling’s stronger than it had been the last time.

"I hope I'm wrong."

"I hope so too," he exhales, shaking his head in disbelief. "What kind of asshole sleeps with his wife's enemy?"

"Don't put that out there,” you grumble, the unintentional yet weird arrangement of words making you dizzy.

"Sorry. It's a metaphor, dummy," Yoongi surrenders, clearing his throat. "Okay. Retake. What kind of husband produces a film featuring his wife's rival?

"Hopefully not mine."

( ♡ )

It takes little effort to love you.

Loving you specifically doesn’t have to be hard.

Jungkook thinks that loving you isn’t hard when you serve as the peace to his otherwise hectic and turbulent mind. You manifest into the comfort he looks for in all seasons, be it the heat pack you wordlessly put in his coat pocket or the scrunchie you put around his wrist no matter the weather whenever his hair got too long.

You don’t text him at every hour of the day whether you were working or not, but you’ve made it a point to always check up on him multiple times even if the both of you are at home, going as far to randomly waking up in the night to pause your breathing and check up on his with a hand on his chest.

It’s easy love — one that could be grasped by everyone because as the world has proved to him time and time again, you’re easy to fall with and for.

You may not coo and awe at every single thing he utters, but the adoration behind your eyes always makes him warm from the inside because you held onto him, no matter how anticlimactic his stories could be.

Neither you and Jungkook are easy, that much he knows.

He knows it because although it’s never been his intention to come home late during his allotted short break between filming (it’s disguised as a break even if he only came back to take care of work-related matters personally), you make it known that you’re irked with him for every other reason.

He knows that you aren’t easy because for the past three weeks he’s been gone, you’ve reiterated twice in the last hour alone how you’ve asked him again and again who will star in his short film. You’ve asked Jungkook repeatedly to give you details outside of Namjoon and the vaguest bits he could ever give you, establishing the fact that he isn’t even bound to an NDA.

It’s the persisting barrage of questions in your head that bothers you without a single break. It’s the hovering feeling of doom above your head because having no answers to any of them, on top of Jungkook closing himself off with or without the physical distance between the two of you and being Hwayoung’s sole caregiver, that your patience ultimately thins.

Your annoyance towards your husband is clearly obvious and it bothers him to the point of frustration. Jungkook’s been convinced since last week that if he just dodged your questions for long enough and blamed it on the connection of your call, he wouldn’t have to answer to you; he wouldn’t have to explain the fine details of the project he’s kept from you.

If he had only avoided you for long enough, you would’ve forgotten about the rumors surrounding Namjoon’s upcoming screenplay that had been leaked to the press, and the roster of actresses thought out to be the main lead of his short film.

If he had only ignored your pleas for long enough, he would have never succumbed to the preliminary guilt that comes with lying to you under the impression that he’s only being protective, pushing him to drink until his vision spins — enough for him that when he admits the truth to you, your face of heartbreak directed at him isn’t as anguishing.

“Fine, fuck it! Since you’re so nosy, yes. Eunsu is my main lead, there! She’s my muse!” Jungkook just about yells, breathless from the burn of alcohol in his throat that spreads all the way to his chest, and from the back and forth he’s been going at with you for the last hour.

“Why didn’t you tell me in the first place?!” you retort, fists clenching at your sides as the thought of Jungkook with Eunsu, with her of all actresses, in a foreign place at almost every minute of the workday irking you.

“Would it have made a difference? You’d still be angry at me,” he rolls his eyes, placing a hand on his hip as he tries to stabilize his gaze on you.

“And even then, you wouldn’t do anything about it, right? Because that’s just your nature, Jungkook,” you scoff, your dig at him being incredibly low yet you steel your pride, unwilling to back down at the thought that Jungkook’s been lying to you for three weeks– perhaps even longer.

He presses a tongue to his cheek as you pertain to the past loud and clear, the sarcastic nod he gives you making your breathing tremble.

“Why? Why does it have to be her?” you try again, this time with your jaw clenched so your anger won’t flare up because you’ve been dying to have a decent explanation from Jungkook for weeks.

“Why can’t it be her?” he counters. “B-because she’s what, she’s your rival or something? You’re jealous? Bitter?”

The knot in your chest tightens, the recall you have of the woman who had sabotaged you repeatedly when you were still a rookie putting a metallic taste on your tongue. She’s hindered you in ways that not even Yoongi could explain fully despite being the closest friend to you in the industry, the vitriol you’ve had for Eunsu in the past reviving back to life.

You have no words except for the fact that begs to be acknowledged without a single syllable.

“I’m your wife, Jungkook,” you exhale shakily, the gravity of it seemingly not enough for him because he refuses to use it as a reason to get on your side.

“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think everybody knows that by now?” Jungkook spits. “When I’m producing my film with Eunsu, I don’t want to be your husband, Y/N! I’m sick of it,” he seethes. “Eunsu has nothing to do with me. Why should I fight your battles for you? Why do I have to carry your grudges for something that doesn’t even concern me?”

Jungkook’s the drunkest he’s ever been in his life, yet he utters the clearest words you’ve ever heard him say.

“This is showbiz, Y/N. It’s inevitable for you to get caught up with shit.”

“You’re talking as if being my husband and being Hwayoung’s dad is a chore.”

“Because maybe it is!” Jungkook bursts with a cry, the tears that spring out of his eyes momentarily blinding him. “Because maybe, I’m fed up trying to be sickeningly devoted to you all the time.”

There’s something akin to white, hot, searing pain that spreads across your chest all the way to your temple, the tremble of your lips not enough for Jungkook to realize that you’re on the verge of sobbing.

“Sometimes I hate this. I… I-I hate this life I’m living because of you, Y/N,” Jungkook whispers. “I hate how you’re so, so perfect in juggling everything. I hate how I could spend an hour just convincing Hwayoung to eat a single carrot and you come in the room, and she finishes the bowl with a smile on her face. I-I hate how you never complain whenever you need to do late night feedings after a long day because I’m already snoring. I hate how with or without work, you’re still just—…” he stills, looking at you with a distraught gaze. “You’re still so content. You’re still able to be yourself like you’ve always been.”

There’s no words left in you; no thought at all that could ever pick you up from the ground and gather yourself the way you’ve always had whenever you and Jungkook had felt the furthest from each other.

“Jungkook,” you sniffle, even if he waves you off half-heartedly. “I’m sorry if-…”

“There it is. There it fucking is again!” Jungkook whines, foot agitatedly stomping against the floor as he pulls at his hair. “You’re apologizing for being so perfect in life that it’s making me feel bad!”

“But I’m not! I’m far from it, what the hell are you talking about?” you rasp, the sarcastic laugh that goes past your lips making his ears ring. “I’m sorry if it seems that way but I’m telling you myself that everything is not perfect the way you make it out to be. I’m sorry because it makes you feel bad, but if anything-…”

Jungkook raises a finger at you, his jaw tightening the longer he stews in displacement.

“Don’t. Don’t. Don’t tell me how content you are with everything despite being exhausted, or how you juggling everything is worth it. Don’t tell me how good of a dad I am."

“Then what can I say to make it lighter for you, Jungkook? What can I say that won’t make you resent me?” you grit in surrender, chest falling so lowly, you’ve forgotten to breathe for a long second. “Do you hate the life that we’re living now so much that you can’t even look at me?”

Love isn’t always a matter of ease and although it’s always stuck to you, you prove now that Jungkook coming home to you at this instance, in this light, that he makes love the most difficult thing.

“Do you hate the life that I gave you so badly?”

“I don’t,” he answers, mouth dry as his vision spins. “Sometimes. Tonight, though — maybe I do. It comes and goes.”

“Then what can we do about it?” you whisper, your vision hazy as you look at him. “Where do we go from here?”

“It’s getting late,” Jungkook only whispers, unwilling to look at the bed you share. “I have an early flight tomorrow.”

[yuyu1024]

Vanilla

Pairings: Seonghwa × y/n

Genre/tags: non idol, fwb

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 smut, fluff, pet names (babes, baby, love etc.), cursing, mention of fingering, unportected/protected sex, kinks (size, breeding, tits, etc)

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 1.2k

Disclaimers:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: just smut. Just had an idea becausw of that clip.. 😆 i swear im a good person.

Anyways. Have a nice day

----------------------------------------------------

You fell asleep in the car. Wooyoung is driving, San is at the passenger seat at front while you and Seonghwa are at the back.

You do get car sick a little especially if its a long drive so you force yourself to sleep whenever you are travelling. But you are glad Seonghwa is sitting next to you and so he can be someone you can lean on when you don't feel the best. Coz you know, for sure he will do whatever it takes to make you feel better.

Hmm...sometimes a little too better.

***

While Wooyoung and San are busy arguing at front, talking about something who is right or wrong when it comes to planning this short trip, Seonghwa is busy making sure you forget about feeling dizzy. He knows that the magic of his fingers in your pussy will be the trick to get your senses up high.

"So fucking tight..." He whispers as he pretends to fix the blanket you have on both of you, to cover the sinful act underneath. "But you take my fingers so well..." he smiles as he dig deep in you, like knuckles deep.

"Hmmm..." you try to control your breathing and make sure you are quiet. "Faster..." you push your body closer to Seonghwa as he puts his free hands over your shoulders so that you are leaning on his body. "Faster..."

"Baby... they will hear it if I go faster... you're so fucking wet." He whispers, bending his fingers in your to prove his point. You can literally hear your wetness. You are so glad that the two are playing some music. It helps with thr cover up

You close your eyes, enjoying the friction and the motion inside of you whilst hugging his torso for support. He is pushing in and out of your pussy slow but deliciously.

"I'll go and buy snacks... you guys want any?" Wooyoung asks as he parks the car.

"I want everything." San answers all smile. "But I need to go to the bathroom first. I need to pee really bad."

"Okay... go there first then just follow me to the food section." Woo says

"A bottle of water and lemonade for us... potatoes, hotteoks and dried squid." Seonghwa answers

Wooyoung looks back and sees that you are sweating and looking a bit pale. "Is she still not feeling well?"

"She's doing better... she just does not want to move yet coz she still feels dizzy..." Seonghwa answers. "I'll keep her company while you two buy food and drinks."

"Okay. I'll put the AC on blast to cool her down..." Woo did that. "Text us if you think of anything more that you need okay?"

"Sure."

And then the second, Wooyoung and San slam their doors shut and make their way to the bathroom and the foodcourt, you finally opened your eyes and mouth to let the loudest moan you've been holding on for the longest minute.

"Fuck!" You gasp pushing the blanket off your body, revealing Seonghwa's busy hands finger fucking you. "Damn it...fuck...so fucking good... aaahhh..."

Your hips kept moving along with his movements. You can't help but spread your legs even more for him to see your wet pussy.

You don't even give a damn if a someone walking pass by the car might see you. Though you know you are safe as the car is tinted and its so bright outside that they won't even have time to really adjust their vision.

"You're such a good girl keeping quiet..." he kisses you on the forehead and then your lips. "You're so naughty wanting me to go faster... do you want Wooyoung and San to hear us? Do you enjoy having the idea of us getting caught? Hmm...?"

You grab him by his face and suck the life out of his mouth. Seonghwa really knows how to turn you own and make you feel so naughty. The way he speaks to you and his choice or words. Simple yet very effective for someone vanilla you. "God, I can't wait to put my dick in you once we arrive at the hotel..." he hits the spot in you as he speaks, "And I would fill you up with my cum and make sure you'd come home with wanting more..."

"Yes! Please!" You cry. "I want you in me..."

"You do?" He smirks and then playfully bites your tit. "You're not scared? I didn't bring any condom with me..."

"I don't care. Just.. ahh!" You take a deep breathe as he picks up his pace "Seonghwa...more faster... please.... I need to come... I'm going crazy!"

"Sssshh.... don't worry... I'll give you what you need." His smile is so evil. But so alluring.

You can't believe it that your friend, one of your bestfriend will be the guy who would wreck you like this. The guy who will give thrill into your sex life. The guy you are willing to be fucked by without protection even though technically you two are not dating.

You're just... fucking.

"S-seonghwa... please!"

He then pulls his fingers off you, getting a whine from you. However, that didn't last long as he positioned you to face him and looks at you like you are about to be devoured.

He goes to put both your legs over his shoulders to have more access and dive his face to your pussy.

"Holy fuck!!" You groan as you felt his tongue go ham over your wet folds. He eats you like its his breakfast, lunch and dinner all together. "Fucking fuck!" You throw your head back, holding on to whatever you can grab on and cry your climax like you've never climaxed before.

This is one heck of an orgasm. You leaked and at the same time cried with tears of satisfaction.

"You're so delectable..." he says licking his lips that is glossed up by your cum. "Let me clean you up baby..." he finds a small towel in his bag and wiped you up. "I don't want them to see your juices... its all mine to taste and see..."

"My... underwear..." you say, catching your breathe as you fix yourself up.

"What underwear?" He tilts his head, biting his lower lip.

"Seonghwa..." you giggle as you hit him om his chest. "Give it back to me..."

He shakes his head. "No baby..." he leans in and kisses you on the lips. You can taste yourself as he pushes his tongue in your mouth. "I'll return it... once I'm done planting my seeds in you tonight... I need to see you get mind blown later..."

"I'm always mind blown when we fuck... you know that."

He arches one brow and looking at you with suched pleased look. "Oh baby, it's different when it's raw... you'll like it even more..."

"I can't wait."

He kisses you on the corner of your lips once more before he puts the blanket back on you. "I'll text you my room number and code later."

[aeruia]

Hey could i get a suo x sweet reader where is he and the rest of the guys find out thats she is Sugishita sister and is she also so nervous to talk to suo cause she likes him alot

⌕. WIND BREAKER

pairing/s : suo hayato x sugishita’s sister!reader

warning/s : a tiny spoiler that sakura and sugishita broke in a fight , mention of shishitoren fight with bofurin , lowercase intended , poorly written & ooc 😞

word count : 2.2k

note : IM HAVING A HARD TIME THINKING OF A TITLE. I FINISHED THIS SEVERAL DAYS AGO BUT I JUST COULDN'T POST IT.. i gave up on thinking & this is my fourth req yippe ! i also love ending my fics with them dating yayaya

꒰ masterlist 𖦹 wbk masterlist ꒱

whenever somebody asks you that you and sugishita are related they'll look at you as if you were lying. matter of fact, you weren’t lying. you get it, if you were that person asking someone if they were related then proceed to doubt because they don’t look like the same person? yeah, you will question it.

you and sugishita are polar opposites of each other. he’s not the brightest nor talkative but you on the other hand is the opposite of him. the only thing you both have in common is apperance only.

“ kyo, don’t forget your phone again! ” you shouted from the kitchen, eating your breakfast. no one answered as you sigh quickly finishing your breakfast.

you checked every corner of the apartment knowing that if you didn’t he’s phone will be left unattended in the house if ever someone called or even text him. you passed a table that was near the hallway of the apartment, seeing a phone with a plain black case in your peripheral vision which made you take a few step backs.

grabbing the phone as you huff in annoyance. he sometimes forget he puts his phone here which made you more annoyed that you needed to go to furin high to give it to him.

grumbling a few curses here and there as you snatched the phone, rolling your eyes to no one as you left the apartment to give sugishita’s phone.

if you could just stick his phone on him you would have done it by now. you were now in front of class one’s door it was wide open and you can see a boy that has two toned hair and sugishita with a bloody nose.

you were frozen on your spot, your lips forming into a thin line. “ ... is this really my brother? ” you thought to yourself, blinking multiple times.

a loud noise was released from the speakers making you winced, eyes squeezed shut for a moment before opening it again. a voice then speaked which made the students of furin stop talking and listen to the person that is speaking.

that made you recognized umemiya which you just shrugged in your mind, walking quietly beside your tall brother, his phone still on your hand.

after the speech umemiya did, sugishita quickly tried to wipe off the blood making you sigh as you took out a handkerchief giving it to him. he looked at you and at the handkerchief for a moment before taking it.

“ thank you, ” he quietly said, wiping the blood of his nose “ sis. ” he added making the two toned hair boy whipped his head back to look at the two of you.

“ ah, what is [name] doing here..? ” the blonde hair boy asked as you peeked your head to see him standing beside your crush making your eyes wide.

“ nirei! hello! ” you greeted with the brightest smile, which he waves at you in return. not noticing the black and white haired boy looking at the two of you. “ isn’t she sugishita’s cousin? ” one of the furin boys said as they whispered to themselves. people had been spectaculating that you and sugishita are cousins.

you gave sugishita his phone, giving him a small lecture about not to forget his phone as if you were his mother. ” i’ll be in pothos cafe is you need something from me. ” you said to sugishita before leaving as you bid farewell the boys with a smile.

they know you as a girl that loves helping — doing your best to help someone who needed it and also being the sweetest person.

you’re now on one of the tables in cafe pothos, slumped in one of the tables as you watched kotoha do her thing in the cafe.

it was a good afternoon for you, peaceful only hearing the quiet clanks of the plate kotoha is washing as you stare at the door as if waiting for someone to come in front.

you groaned as you closed your eyes, face flat on the table hearing kotoha chuckle. “ what? seems like you’re having a hard time. ” she asked, “ missing your boyfriend already? ” she added which made your face warm, quickly sitting properly while you point at her. “ huh?! boyfriend don’t even- ” she got cut off as the door swing opened revealing umemiya with his hands up high. ” ko-to-ha! ” he said in a sing song like voice as other people followed inside.

hiragi, nirei, sugishita, the boy with two colored hair and suo came into view. you couldn't help but smile when you see suo as they walk into a table to sit to.

“ hey! uhm, you look like you’re new here in town. what’s your name? ” you asked, standing up from your chair as he looked at you with a raised eyebrow like you were wanting to fight him.

“ huh? who are you? ” he questioned still having his eyebrow raised. “ oh, sorry! i’m [name] sugishita. ” you said with a smile, stretching your hand for him to shake. “ so you and sugishita are cousins or siblings? ” he asked once more, as you feel that he doesn't have any plan on saying his name if you won’t answer his question.

“ hm? yeah me and kyotaro are siblings. ” you said and grinned as nirei spitted out his drink. “ huh? since when you two became siblings!? ” nirei asked as he pulled out his notebook flipping through it as he saw that he didn’t write her as a sibling but as a cousin since that’s what the majority of people say and he believed it.

“ duh! of course since birth! ” you answered crossing your arms in front of your chest. “ people spectaculated that me and kyo are cousins when we’re actually siblings! ” you declared.

“ well since now you know me and kyo are siblings, what is your name? ” you asked once more as the boy scoffed. “ sakura haruka. ” he said as you scretch your hand once more. sakura looked at you and at your hand back and forth before he hesitantly shook it.

a big smile on your face as you greeted everyone with a smile except for suo. your confident smile faded as it transition into a nervous smile. suo the man he is just smiled and greeted you back which made your face more warmer as you just sit back on your chair and shrink smaller than before.

you didn't notice it but suo’s gaze never faltered whenever he looks at you. it seems like he’s observing you — however you didn’t notice by how you’re too occupied thinking about how pretty his smile was.

you were the first one to leave the cafe as you sighed, walking to the playground seeing kids still playing despite of the sun going down as you hear the kids laugh and scream while they run.

sitting on one of the bench as you watched the kid play. one kid running up to you while you tilted your head to the side, kids have been very familiar with you since you always come here to play with them for a bit. another kid run up to you and another as every other kid on the playground is now surrounding you as if you just did something bad.

you eyes fluttered as you take out a few candy from your bag as the kids thanked you, giving you hand while you did the same. “ [name] is the best! ” a kid says happily making you laugh softly.

several minutes later the candies that was in your palm are gone as you see parents calling over their kids. when the kids left the playground you’ll also leave however you stayed there for a while sitting on a swing as you swinged it a bit.

now that kyo’s friend knew you were his sister, what will happen now? you can’t help but sigh as you lean back abit sighing once more.

“ you’ve been sighing for a while now. ” a voice said as your eyes shot open, looking at the source of it.

suo was standing in front of you with his hand on his back, a smile on his face. you rarely see him without a smile on his face. sometimes you’re curious if he just have a mask that’s always smiling or it became a muscle memory to him.

“ huh? what? no! i’m not! ” you said messily, nervous that he’s literally right in front of you. you followed his figure as he sat to the other unoccupied swing. “ why are you even here anyway.. ”you started, making him look at you.

“ seems like you need company is all. ” he replied. “ you don't want me here? " he added as you can make out a pain tone making you tense up and looked away. “i-it’s not that i want you here anyway.. ” you nervously said not used to talking to him.

you and suo talked there for hours, you didn't even realize that it was getting dark when suo pointed it out. “ your brother must be worried about you. i’ll walk you home. ” he offered as you quickly declined it saying that it was okay and that your shared apartment with him isn’t that far from here.

he didn't back down as you just agreed and suo walked with a comfortable silence. you thanked him waving him goodbye as you slammed the door shut.

the following day, you helped kotoha manage the cafe as you waited for the boys to come back as they announced having a fight with shishitoren that you couldn't help but get worried about them. it was night when you heard the ring echo through the cafe.

“ oh, you guys are already patched up. ” the brown haired girl said as she inspected the boys. “ well.. you don’t look like you took a beating. ” kotoha said when she found suo unscathed.

you finished cleaning a table as you walk into the counter seeing them standing there, your body freezing when you saw suo even if you know that he’ll be here you just couldn't help but freeze and get nervous.

setting the cleaning supplies you used to clean the tables as you goes to sugishita first, worried for your little brother. your hands quickly inspecting his face, turning it to the side. “ glad you’re fine. ” you let out quietly, sighing in relief your hand dropping to your side as you back away to look at everyone.

“ seems like everyone got an intense fight! ” you said eyeing everyone while your eyes found suo. “ except for you.. ” you deadpanned as he smiled.

“ still, are you guys okay? not feeling any pain at all? ” you asked them when they took a sit at one of the tables. “ everything’s fine, no need to fret. ” umemiya said giving you a smile as you smile in return.

“ me, i think i’m feeling a bit of pain here.. ” suo said pointing at his cheek which made your eyebrows furrowed, sugishita glaring at him. “ ... i’ll be with kotoha. ” you said not wanting to participate in their conversation anymore.

weeks after, you often see suo in the cafe with nirei and sakura and if you’re lucky you’ll be seeing your brother with them.

“ hello [name]! ” they greeted when they saw you walk inside as you waved at them. suo waving back while he patted the empty seat next to him which you sit beside him even if you get nervous everytime you talk with him. something about him just feels different and what’s more you have a big fat crush on him!

the two left leaving you and suo together in the cafe, kotoha minding her own business as she had witness this many times.

you have spoken with him many times and yet you still get nervous talking to him as you ignore it and just listen to him talk. his voice is like music to your ears.

the door opened once more revealing your tall brother as he scoffed, walking to sit beside you. ” oh! sugishita. ” sugishita only staring at him. “ you wouldn't mind if i dated your sister? ” he added and that made you turn your head around at him, eyes wide as sugishita glared more at the male.

“ ahahaha.. he’s just joking. ” you replied trying to calm your brother down smiling. “ oh? am i? ” the tone in his voice made you gag in your own spit.

if you could just put both of your hands on his face and rub it hard so he can disappear. in the end, sugishita left leaving you and suo again.

you and suo hang out almost everyday on the playground, talking about school life.

your heart would still skip a beat whenever you talk with him or your heart beating faster than usual. things have been different however your feelings for suo are still there.

despite you being extremely nervous whenever you talk to him he was patient while you tried to find the exact words you want to say to him. at times, you think that he was probably close to stopping talking to you yet, that just made him want to talk to you more.

which led to being more than friends and you weren’t complaining, you have been wanting this all your life! you can say that this is the happiest life you ever lived.

date posted 071324

[kfaem]

Love and Deepspace; when their S/O is a kpop idol

notes: brrr new fandom lets go. also yes i went MIA but hey im not like dead

the boys when MC is an idol :) this is self indulgent. im a zayne girlie but i got carried away with raf lol. im tired so this is unedited, poorly written, no structure, and kinda just rambling

Rafayel:

here me out

he was a fan for the longest time, creating multiple pieces based off of you and your likeness

you and your members go to one of his exhibitions and when you make eye contact he's immediately in love more than he was before

kinda in a weird way

but when you approach him first he's in shock and doesnt know what to do

after the initial talking period and when the relationship starts he acts like his normal self

attends every concert and fan meeting

spends hundreds of dollars on your albums, collecting your photocards and solo posters

brags about being your boyfriend on sns and your manager tries to get him to stop

thomas is so embarrassed everytime your manager reaches out and begs him to calm down cause its a bad image

doesnt care about the reporters, is willing to fight with elites over you and your reputation

he's a simp but is also kinda mean sometimes lol

is jealous when you go live and refuse to respond to him to at least an hour and makes his presence known in your chat

i find the image of the matching outfits, couples goals posts on sns, and articles where he names you his muse to just be so <3333

Xavier

You guys bumped into each other at a convenience store, both reaching for the same bag of chips

both flustered with red cheeks, you let him have it and apologized

awkward

so, so very awkward

both of you are stuck in a awkward, silent encounter and neither of you want to say anything

one of your members comes over to see whats taking you so long and realizes that you're in a standoff with a cute blond and decides to play cupid

it worked

you two end up becoming good friends, and then eventually some sort of situationship

he doesnt want to damage your career and acknowledges that you both dont have time to spend with each other

but still acts as a loving boyfriend, buying your albums, concert tickets, merch, birthday specials etc.

then when you guys go on a snack run, a reporter recognizes you and within the week you're caught up in dating rumours

deciding that you guys couldnt avoid the truth, the situationship turned into a real relationship

doesnt really make a big deal out of your relationship or your popularity. would rather spend your guys' spare time reading together, watching movies, eating good food and relaxing

the media eventually forgets but the fans dont

they love every piece of media that ever gets showed, glimpses of xavier in mirrors, reflections on water, glasses, windows. mentions of a lover in interviews when asked what inspired you

just a loving boyfriend who tries to give you a sense of normalcy outside of the flashing lights

Zayne

Childhood friends

he hates your career and how much soul it has taken from you, but also acknowledges that you love what you do and are willing to risk your health and privacy

zayne is the king of situationship lmao

dates all the time, dinners at small restaurants hiding in booths in the far corners since you both like to be alone, together

your members genuinely dont understand how hes "not your boyfriend"

has lingered on music video shoots, using his title as your personal doctor to not raise any eyebrows

doesnt go out of his way to buy your albums but... if hes at a corner store and sees it, he'll buy it. or two. or three.

keeps one of your photocards and a normal picture of you in his wallet, grayson found it on the floor in his office once after it fell out of his wallet and he could never live it down

the entire hospital staff knows but wouldnt say anything for fear of their life

always sending messages no matter what side of the world youre on. Please remember to eat, drink water, and rest as much as you can. Too much strain on your body can cause long-term side effects.

buys tickets to your concerts, trying to hold back his smile as you glow on the stage while performing in front of your many fans

yeah he gets jealous

wont say it

and you can barely tell

but the chill that fills the room when another idol hugs you and is being overly touchy is so very much obvious and has people rushing to do something else

a reporter approaches him and tries to ask about your dating life. he shuts them up with a glare. the reporter doesnt even dare publishing that article.

your fans have a basic idea of what zayne is to you, but they respect you enough to not make a scene of it.

then one of your members gets drunk on a live and asks about your boyfriend and it comes unravelled

you post a picture with him, captioned with a heart, and its never brought up again

has brought your fans food and drinks whenever they set up cafe events for support

he appreciates everything that your fans do for you and has asked them to take care of you when hes not around

your relationship is never actually made official but yall live together when you arent required to be at the dorms and own like two cats so idk

still the caregiver that we love

[spidergutz-writes]

ANOTHER REQUEST..

Hc’s about jealous Michael? Preferably Peepaw but you can write for Og if you want. Im a whore for his jealousy.

frfr giggling and twirling my hair rn, your speaking directly to my brain bestie 😩🤌

I’m doing this one first cause it’s gonna be just a tad quicker for me to do ;w;

WARNINGS: THERE IS A BRIEF MENTION OF NSFW STUFF SO IM SORRY (I’m too much of a slut for that fictional man istg) not proofread, we die like real men here. Michael being hot asf.

HC’S of jealous peepaw Michael Myers!

Firstly, peepaw micheal doesn’t get overly jealous too quickly, but if a cashier does get a little too friendly, or some random person looks at you with anything other than casual respect? You might have to keep an eye on the news for missing people. 👀

*insert intense glaring and heavy breathing here*

definitely glares at whoever’s being too friendly with you. Depending on if y’all are in a crowded area, he might peak out to give the person a hello. With his knife. Preferably in their chest

if he can get the chance to properly go outside with you without the fear of revealing who he is, he is ALWAYS keeping a hand on you in one way or another. Like, his hand on the back of your neck, shoulder, bicep, and even your waist sometimes. He’s not the biggest fan of PDA but he won’t hesitate to let others know what’s his.

when y’all get to the safety of your home, he’s a lot more touchy than usual. Resting his forehead on the crown of your head, wrapping his arms around you and huffing.

once you get past his initial violent stage of his jealousy he really does get needy for your attention. I mean, you basically deprived him earlier, how can he possibly live if you won’t sit on his lap and let him hug you for the next hour??? How cruel 😤

HES fr such a drama queen though 🙄🤚🤚🤚

will NEVER verbally express his jealousy, for one, he just does speak that much all together, and two. He’s. He’s kinda petty ngl.

like fr. He’s just gonna be like 🧍‍♂️while your just like “Michael?? Are you mad at me???” and he’s sTILL JUST STANDING THERE. expects you to know EXACTLY why he’s jealous.

oh wow, all this nice and sfw stuff about how jealous he gets WELL LETS NOT FORGET THAT MAN WOULD POUND YOU INTO OBLIVION

you thought I wouldn’t make an excuse to talk about fucking Michael Myers? Well you’re wrong. Because we all know when that man gets jealous, he gets possessive . And what better way to show everyone your his?? none other than leaving so many marks on you someone would think you were attacked by a swarm of raccoons.

if you’d let him, he would 10000000% lightly (I cannot stress how lightly he would do this) carve his name in either your arm, or chest.

hickeys? Yes. Bite marks? You fucking bet. Bruises from his hard ass grip? Obviously!!!!!

ehem. Uhm. Now that I’m no longer feral, he would definitely need some small form of reassurance. Cuddling, hand holding, just general quality time together will work. HUFUFUUFUFUFUFU I NEED TO BE CONTAINED I WANTED TO MAKE THIS ALL SMUT BUT I MUST REFRAIN!!!! MY BRAIN IS ROTTEN! 😭😭😭 As always, please, please, PLEAAASSEE give me constructive criticism! I can’t grow as a writer to suit others (and my own) needs if I can’t write up to standards. my requests are open, as well as my asks, so feel free to drop by!!! [pls omfg send my more requests I’ll literally kiss you istg]

[yikesmary]

i just can't forget about bets shua singing 2 minus 1 in his entire soul like he's been on divorce, failed relationship, heartbreak, and fighting for his child's custody like i badly want a fic about ittt vv bro still in love with yn tho (I've been searching for a perfect writer who may be the best on writing these kind of fics and I thought about uuuu)

CLOCKWORK — joshua hong x reader

summary: where it wasn’t supposed to be like this. but it did.

notes: anon why’d you have to make a request so enticing to write ;-;. this was so sad for me to write IM CRYING. also please give feedback?? this is the first time in awhile i’ve written angst so i might be a little rusty.

anon i’m sorry if i interpreted the request wrong but i hope i did it correctly 🤞

warnings: ANGST. there’s no comfort, only angst. everyone loses in this. mentions of your child, but he doesn’t make an appearance.

join my taglist!

You knew that you had to divorce Joshua the minute when you looked at him and all you felt was emptiness. Unlike the utter love and devotion you felt for him in the beginning of your relationship, you felt… nothing.

It started with the mini arguments that ended in both of you guys apologizing. Then it escalated; fights that would last for a couple of days to full on screaming matches where you’d both yell until neither of you had the energy or voice to anymore.

Looking back, neither of you were at fault. You two just happened to be not compatible with each other.

But that didn’t mean you stopped trying. Because you tried.

It just didn’t work.

And even with a child, a precious little boy named Siwoo, it seemed like nothing could work.

And you realized this in the midst of a fight with Joshua that made him leave in the middle of it and the slamming of the door awoke your son, who was around a year old at the time, who then started to cry his heart out.

So you filed for a divorce.

It’d been a year since the divorce.

The process hadn’t been easy for you, at first. When you brought up the idea of divorce, Joshua immediately shut it down and used every excuse in existence.

But he must’ve seen how much the fighting drained you, because once he saw your sad eyes which only lit up in the presence of yours and his’ son, he agreed to the divorce.

The divorce was amicable, for the most part. You guys decided that going to court to settle everything was too much, so you guys talked it out. It was probably the longest the two of you have gone without fighting each other, which was depressing when you thought back on it.

But, in the end, you and Joshua settled on everything. For now, you would have Siwoo live with you in the house you guys had purchased while married since he was so young and maybe if he was older, he’d go back and forth with living between the both of you.

You had brought up the idea of selling the house and splitting the money, but Joshua insisted that you keep it.

“It’s your dream house. I don’t want you to have to throw it away because of me,”

So, now, you lived in a house made for 4 people with only you and Siwoo living together. Joshua visits when he can and sometimes he even sleeps over to spend time with Siwoo.

Life was okay.

“Joshua, what are you doing here?”

“I didn’t know where else to go,”

It was evident he was drunk. His shirt was disheveled, his shoes in one hand while a bottle that contained who-knows-what in his other. He could barely keep his eyes open and he was swaying so hard you feared he could topple over any minute.

You ushered him in the house, concerned that your neighbors will start talking and the last thing you needed was nosy neighbors.

“Where’s Siwoo?” Joshua slurred, putting down his bottle of alcohol on a nearby table, and sitting on the couch that you decided to keep, along with everything else in the house because it was too painful to throw away, even if it caused you pain at the same time.

“He’s at my parents. He wanted to spend time with his grandparents,” you informed him.

He nodded then stayed silent.

“Look, Joshua, I don’t know what you’re doing here—“

“It wasn’t supposed to end like this.”

“What?” you asked, not understanding what he was saying.

“This. Us. We were supposed to be happy and Siwoo was supposed to have a sibling,”

“You should go—“

“I went on a date today,” he suddenly said, cutting you off.

You stiffened at the news, but didn’t say anything. It seemed like Joshua wasn’t waiting for a response because he said, “The guys said I needed to move on. The divorce was done and I was finally single. So I let Seungkwan arrange a date for me with this girl from his workplace,”

“I don’t think I should hear this—“

“I couldn’t focus on the date. Ask me why.” Joshua said, his statement not leaving room for arguments.

You sighed and asked, “Why couldn’t you focus?”

“Because she wasn’t you,” he softly said, his slightly glassy eyes looking at you.

You took a deep breath, not expecting that answer.

“Joshua, you’re drunk. Maybe you should sleep it off,” was all you said, before turning to leave.

Before you could exit the living room and go to your room, Joshua called your name.

You turned and he said, “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry,”

You turned away, not wanting to risk him seeing how you started to tear up.

“I’m sorry, too,”

And with that, you went to your room and cried yourself to sleep.

Joshua, in the living room, felt so close yet so far from you, also crying himself to sleep.

But the next day, the both of you would pretend that nothing happened.

Like clockwork.

taglist (crossed out means that tumblr didn’t let me tag you): @belladaises @smileyneos @winterpaos @wonhuiful @minhui896 @baekhyunmochibbh @x-alightinthedark @whywontyousetfree @minghaossv

[madlittlecriminal]

Can I please request Miguel O’Hara x shy Reader who bonded venom? Where Miguel is madly in love with her even tho they’re already dating. They have an infant son together who’s a mommy boy who has his dad Miguel powers. Venom is overprotective of his host and her infant son who loves their suit. https://pin.it/BXeKxrH

Parenthood ⥓ Miguel O'Hara × Shy!Venom!Female!Reader [headcanon]

this became headcanons because i had too many ideas that made me rewrite the fic about 5 times... im also upset because the link didn't work :(

Warnings: mentions of stretch marks, birth not specified, son's name is not mentioned, venom and miguel bicker...a lot

He thought it was odd when you first met

As far as he knew, Venoms in different universes were either cocky or just awkward until they full bonded with their symbiote

But you...you were shy

Even after bonding with Venom, you were still shy which made him curious.

Three years later, he was madly in love with you

He never failed to show you how much he did, especially now with an 11 month old son.

He had little fangs like his father which made you smile

If anything, he looked more like Miguel than you

Which made Venom speak up.

"I love little human...but why must he look like the spider vampire hybrid and not you?!"

Miguel only glared at the symbiote, but he had no room to complain

Whenever your son was upset, he would smile when you had your suit on

To be honest, your son was a momma's boy

Miguel loved it.

I mean, it only made sense since Miguel was basically obsessed with you

There were days where he'd catch you poking at the stretch marks your son gave you

"You know, I've always told you your stretch marks were beautiful, but our son definitely gave you some that puts that word to shame. You look breathtaking with them, querida. Don't forget that."

Then he'd wait until your son was asleep before he showered your stretch marks in kisses and would give you endless cuddles.

Venom though...let's just say he still had a grudge against Miguel after he found out your recovery process was longer than the normal

"You dare harm my host, Spider?!"

"Listen Venom, I didn't know it was going to happen!"

"Well, when he has your damn genetics!"

"Doesn't he have yours too?!"

"That's not the point, vampire!"

You didn't say anything

You were always too shy to say anything and thankfully, neither of the two ever pressured you to pick a side

You struck gold with your symbiote and with your boyfriend.

You'd sometimes bring your son to the Society building when Miguel was working.

He and Mayday became instant pals as Mayday giggled at his fangs

But when you'd give him to Miguel, he quickly did grabby hands to be back with you

"YES LITTLE ONE! MOVE AWAY FROM YOUR FATHER!"

Miguel sighed, gave his son a kiss on his hair before handing him back to you

"Can I give him a suit when he's older?"

"I think I'll give him a suit when he's older, thank you Venom."

"Well, he likes the one I gave (Y/N), so I think I'll give him one."

Miguel rolled his eyes at the symbiote.

You gave him his lunch and gave him a kiss before leaving with your son.

"Hey Miguel, do you think you and (Y/N) would be fine with a playdate with him and Mayday?"

Miguel gave Peter a stoic look.

"I'll talk to her."

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

hhi could i. could i ask if you have any portal ford headcanons im being insane about him right now and your headcanons are So 💥‼️🎉🌈💥/pos

hi hello hows it goin

-he didn't get all of his tattoos in one sitting, and he actually has a few he gave to himself. some of the tattoos look like normal earth tattoos, but theres also a few that have cool effects to them. color-changing, moving slightly, shapeshifting from one creature to another, etc. etc.

-he gave himself a little sailboat tattoo in case he ever lost the photo. he also gave himself an axolotl after he met Jheselbraum

-when he was fresh into the portal, hed join other interdimensional travelers, make companions...he stopped after a while because the grief he felt every time he inevitably lost them became too much. he still misses the ones he did have, though. he gave himself a constellation tattoo to remember them- a star for each one.

-he has perhaps too many tattoos. most of them end up being covered up by scars, though

-speaking of scars- ford lost his right arm sometime while he was in the portal. An "anomaly" bit it off. He has a prosthetic now (in the future, he's going to keep forgetting to mention this to stan. which is. definitely not going to cause any problems at all (sarcastic))

-he has several scars that either look weird (slightly glow-in-the-dark, shimmers, etc.) or healed in strange patterns because they were caused by weapons very much not intended to interact with human flesh

-he has a lot of "speckle" scars all over him. theyre from corrosive rain

-Jheselbraum has been thoroughly established as a sort of secondary mother figure in his mind. She has also been given this role by many, many other versions of Ford. she is the space mom

-he once met a moth version of himself who borrowed a gun from him and never gave it back. hes still upset about that. no, he has not realized the connection

-he once held a full conversation with another version of stan without noticing who he was talking to. in his defense, it was dark out

-at some point, he developed a tapetum lucidum and nictitating membranes. this is the incredibly self-indulgent biology-hyperfixation-induced headcanon

-he thinks he can handle smoke and toxic air better because of how much time hes spent not being able to breathe properly. its actually made him more sensitive to things like that

-he has gotten better at not being poisoned though. this comes from years of eating random mushrooms and plants and bug-adjacent creatures. this doesnt apply to raw meat as much, but he can definitely handle it better than most other humans

-every now and then, the hyperfixation excitement will outweigh how horrible he feels all the time and he'll just end up staring at some sort of weird creature and taking mental notes about it for a really long time

-sometimes he'll name random creatures he sees just to kill time. waiting for your food to finish cooking? give your local fish-bird-thing a name

-he doesnt know this, but hes actually seen a few creatures that are considered cryptids in those dimensions

-his favorite dimensions are the ones filled with wildlife and starry skies and vibrant colors. theyre not nearly as common as youd think they are

-hes gotten more used to speaking non-earth languages than earth-languages. as such, hes started using lots of phrases that have...interesting translations in english

-he forgets how to speak sometimes. it used to be more distressing, but he doesnt typically come across many creatures that can understand language anyway. its more of an annoyance than anything at this point

-hes gotten really good at mimicking the calls of other creatures. really good. possibly too good (he will use this power for evil in the future. to terrorize his brother with seagull noises)

-this is technically post-portal, but he adapts the creatures hes seen into homebrew enemies and races in his DD&MD campaigns

-also post-portal, but he'll sometimes forget that that weird thing hes looking at is. yknow. weird and not just a normal part of life in this dimension. this is one of the two reasons why he asks stan to point out anomalies to him

[autmism]

prom dress

pairing(s) ; moonsys x teen!reader, marc spector x teen!reader, steven grant x teen!reader, jake lockley × teen!reader

warning(s) ; little hurt/comfort but more comfort

synopsis; (request) Hi! I hope I'm not bothering you or anything but I've been reading your Moonknight fics and their really good! I was wondering if you could do a platonic Moonknight fanfic where the teen! reader gets stood up at her school prom and she comes crying to boys how she didn't get a chance to dance in her princess dress and so the guys comfort her and each of them dance with her in their own style. This just me suffering from my daddy issues…. just think it would be sweet and wholesome.

-> masterlist

a/n: HI tysm for the requests!! im glad you like my fics i hope you enjoy !!! ty for all the reqs i have i will get to them soon i promise

y/n stepped out of the elevator doors, ready to drag herself into bed and forget about her problems. what she hadn’t expected was for marc to be stood outside his flat door waiting for her to get back from the dance.

“hey! how’d it go kid?”

“not in the mood, goodnight.” y/n sighed, walking past marc.

“hey, hey, hey? slow down, what’s going on?” marc put a hand on y/n’s shoulder, a concerned look on his face.

“it’s fine, i don’t want to talk about it.” y/n rolled her eyes.

“c’mon kid, you can talk to me, steven’ll make you some hot chocolate?” marc smiled nervously.

“you promise?” y/n frowned, averting her eyes from him. the last thing she wanted to do was breakdown in front of the man she considered a father figure.

“i’d force him if it made you feel better,” marc got the keys to his flat out his pocket, smiling as he noticed y/n trying not to laugh, “c’mon talk to us, what happened?”

y/n sat down on the first seat she could find, the couch, and frowned, “it’s embarrassing… i feel like such a loser.”

“oh you poor thing, what happened out there? you could use a hot chocolate i suppose… even though it’s not such a smart idea to have chocolate before bedtime.. sorry, rambling again.. classic me!” steven laughed, grabbing the ingredients he needed from the fridge, “you can talk to us about anything, love! i promise you that none of us will think you’re a loser, since you aren’t one!”

“thanks steven..” y/n sighed, “you remember max?”

“max? the kid who asked you to prom? what’d he do?” marc fronted, immediately abandoning steven’s task of making hot chocolate at the mention of a boy’s name. you’d think he had a child of his own with the way he stood in the kitchen doorway with his hands on his hips.

“he stood me up.” y/n’s voice cracked, as she put her head in her hands.

“i’m so sorry, kiddo,” marc’s tone softened and he left the kitchen to sit next to y/n on the couch, “what an asshole, he’s missing out on the best kid!”

“he didn’t seem to miss much when his tongue was down another girl’s throat.” y/n started crying and marc tensed up, he was truly not the man for the job. comfort was more steven’s thing.

marc put a hand around her shoulder and let her lean on him while she cried, “it’s gonna be okay..”

“it’s not okay!” y/n leaned into him, hugging him tightly as she cried. to be truthful, y/n was thankful that marc, steven and jake were all part of her life. she didn’t have an outstanding father and to have three separate father figures she could look up to instead of her biological father was a miracle.

“you’re still young, you’re gonna have plenty of boyfriends and girlfriends in your life,” he frowned, rubbing circles into her back.

“but i don’t want anyone else, i wanted him!”

“i know, i know… but sometimes things just don’t work out and that’s not your fault, kid,” he rested his head on hers, “you may want this guy now, but trust me you’ll find better.”

“he was so sweet… i don’t get what i did wrong?” she whimpered, marc could practically hear the pain she was in just by her voice.

“hey.” marc pulled y/n away from him and put his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes, “this is not your fault, you are a great kid, got it?”

“what went wrong then?”

“he went wrong. you did everything right, okay?” he raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, expecting her to agree.

“i guess so…” y/n mumbled, her sobbing turning into silent tears.

“you look great too, told you the dress was a good choice,” he smiled proudly, silently celebrating that she chose the dress that he recommended.

“you’re just saying that, you have to,” y/n laughed, wiping her face with her arm.

“woah? you calling me a liar? not cool, y/n.” marc crossed his arms over his chest.

“oh c’mon you know what i mean, ya big baby.” y/n rolled her eyes, shoving marc playfully.

“the dress looks great and you look beautiful tonight, kid.” he smiled, hoping that he was articulating how sincere he was being.

“i do like the dress.. i guess i’m just being stupid, but i’m just upset i didn’t get to dance with it on..?” y/n trailed off, sounding unsure of herself.

“dance? someone say dance?” y/n looked up to see jake smirking and getting up from the couch, “the night is still young, you’ve got time to dance!”

“hi jake,” y/n sighed, as he started to pull on her arms, trying to annoy her into getting up.

“not happy to see me?” jake pouted dramatically.

“you and marc are such babies, you know what i meant, asshole!” y/n laughed, reluctantly getting up after she accepted that jake wouldn’t have stopped until one of them was either dead or knocked out. he was always quite persistent; annoyingly persistent.

“c’mon the night is still young, dance with me!” he pulled y/n to an open space in the flat.

“you certainly aren’t.” y/n muttered.

“hey? friendly fire, i’m just trying to help not let that dress go to waste!” he scoffed.

“sorry, bad night… as you probably could tell.” y/n sighed, “thank you..”

jake decided to play a song that marc had been listening to lately, called ‘bahlam maak’. it was a recommendation from layla and jake thought y/n might enjoy it as well. it was slow and calming - way better than whatever they would’ve played at a prom. y/n followed jake’s lead, a small smile growing on her face.

“thank you, jake… this is really nice,” she looked down, “i’ve always wondered what it would feel like to go to a daughter-father dance… i think it would feel something like this.”

jake’s smile grew on his face, pride swelling in his chest. there was always an unspoken father-daughter bond between the two, but to hear her say it made him ecstatic.

“i’ve always wanted to beat up my daughter’s shitty boyfriends, guess we both win, eh?” he smirked, seeing y/n try to stifle her laughs, “seriously, i’ll do it, say the word and he vanishes mysteriously.”

“jake, you can’t kill him,” y/n scoffed, “if anyone’s doing that it’s me.”

“attagirl.”

“jake..?”

“hm?”

“thank you for this, i know… i can be a bit of a pain-“

“a bit?” he raised an eyebrow.

“okay, i’ll keep the rest to myself instead, good job.” y/n rolled her eyes.

“hey, i’m kidding!”

“you better be,” she scoffed, “thank you for being here for me, even when i can be a pain in the ass, i know i’m not easy to be around, but you, marc and steven somehow manage to put up with me, so thank you.”

jake’s grin fell from his face, knowing that some of the words she was saying were not words that she had thought of, these were things that had been put into her head by her father.

“c’mon, you’re not a pain in the ass, you’re the best kid i’ve ever met.”

“got a lot of friends that are kids, huh?”

“okay smart ass, not the time,” he looked at her, clearly unamused, “you’re not difficult to be around at all, you’re an intelligent, beautiful and quick witted young girl and you’ve got a bright future ahead, chiquitita.”

“now i’m crying again,” y/n pouted.

“and i’m still offering to beat this asshole’s ass.”

“you’re just looking for excuses to beat someone up!” y/n protested.

“ah, ya got me,” he chuckled, “i’m gonna let steven make you that hot chocolate now, we did promise.”

“thank you jake,” y/n smiled, as he turned the music off and paused for a second before steven fronted.

“oh look at you! aren’t you just a princess tonight,” steven smiled.

“a snotty princess, sure.” y/n laughed, before taking a seat back on the couch.

“well, i think you look amazing! and any guy that stands you up is a bloody plonker, yeah?”

“absolute fucking plonker,” y/n huffed.

“alright, you’re upset so i will let that one slide, but watch your language, love.” steven scolded her, pointing a finger at her with a stern look on his face.

“if jake can threaten to kill someone, i can say a few bad words.”

“well. uhm. hot chocolate! that’s what i’m doing!” steven scurried off. he was always less than thrilled to hear about the things jake says, knowing all the things jake say are vulgar and downright criminal.

“you going home then? or not tonight?” steven asked from the kitchen, as he got back to making the hot chocolate.

“is it okay if i stay here?” y/n rubbed her face with her arm, “there’s some things my dad said that weren’t so nice, but turned out happening anyways… i don’t really want to hear about.. yeah, i’ll stay, if it’s okay?”

“‘course it’s okay, you’re always welcome here!”

“thanks steven,” y/n smiled, “and marc and jake.”

“no specific order right?” steven rolled his eyes, heading jake and marc bickering about which one of them she prefers.

“no specific order! quit your fighting marc and jake!” y/n laughed, knowing the things the two were saying from witnessing the same argument countless of times.

“told you,” steven mumbled, shooting a stern look at the reflective surface of the kettle, where marc stared at him with a frown on his face.

“hey steven?” y/n called out.

“just a sec, love! i’m on my way!”

y/n eagerly accepted the hot chocolate in a mug labelled ‘world’s best grandpa’, which had been a gift from her to jake. she insisted that originally she wanted to get the dad mug, but they were out of stock. they all knew it was a lie and y/n wanted to poke fun of their age, but also that y/n was too embarrassed at the time to admit she saw them as a father and thought a lighthearted grandpa mug would ease her into being able to say it one day.

“have you ever been stood up before?” y/n asked after a sip of hot chocolate, “i ask you, because jake probably stands people up and marc is marc.”

that’s misinformation.

what the hell is that supposed to mean?

“oh, countless of times,” steven ignored jake and marc again, “it’s not great, innit?”

“not great at all…” y/n sighed, “i know marc said it wasn’t me, but i can’t help but think if it was me, i mean the girl he was kissing… and then there’s me?”

“hmm,” steven paused, “well, sometimes these things are out of our control and when they are that means we never had control to change what could happen, but this bloke had all the control in the situation and made a bloody awful choice.”

“so if i did everything the right way and can’t see how i could’ve done anything differently, but can see that with the other person, then it’s not my fault.”

“exactly!”

“thanks steven… i didn’t really consider it from that point of view…”

“you feelin’ a bit better?“ steven asked, smiling as she sipped on the hot chocolate.

“a lot thank you,” y/n smiled back, “i can’t thank you enough for everything, coming over to your place is the best time of my life, just.. it’s nice and it makes the hard days worth it.

“oh, you’re gonna make me bloody cry now!” steven wrapped his arms around y/n, but being mindful of the hot drink in her hands.

“sorry.”

“it’s alright, love.”

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Some of you have probably noticed that I havent made a liveblog post in a while. Well, thats because I usually read on the bus and during my classes and then I come home and summarize my thoughts on the 2-5 chapters I read after theyve marinated in my head for a little while, but unfortunately i appear to be incapacited at the moment so I cant do that. But because its been weeks and I dont wanna forget anything and I would very much like to finish this series soon, I'll try to read at home sometimes from now on. Since my brain is still a lil mush Im gonna do what I did for my last post, which is write down what Im thinking as Im reading instead of summarizing all my thoughts retroactively, except this time I have my german copy on hand so if I want to quote something it'll be a translation

Anyway, with all that said, welcome to my twisted mind, please enjoy my thoughts on A Court of Mist and Fury Chapters 40

Chapter 40

Ive been wanting to say this for a while now but i kept forgetting, but they translated 'winnowing' as 'den Wind spalten' ['splitting the wind'] and that is objectively so much cooler, shoutout to my gal Alexandra Ernst for that

Feyre being like "ugh, its so pathetic how these human guards think they could stand a chance against even one of us" hurts me so much you guys what have they done to my girl

Once again, its apparently perfectly fine if Rhysand doesnt tell Feyre anything "because she never asked" but if Tamlin doesnt tell her anything when she never asked hes the devil

Also once again, Feyre is perfectly not-triggered at Mor wearing a scarlet dress

Idk how to explain this, but Rhysand saying that Feyre is wearing a golden crown because "she looks so good with it, how could he not give her one" is somehow the perfect encapsulation of the hollowness of her High Lady title

Oh, of course three of the queens only showed up to watch the other two talk, itd be too hard to write dialogue if they actually participated in this important conversation

hello???? Feyre referring to humans as "your kind" ??? wth is going on

"every side bears some blame" hey rhysand ive got a question for ya. which side enslaved the other again

everytime the oldest queen does anything the prose feels the need to remind me of how old and wrinkly she is and its like, i get it, shes OLD

The oldest queen is spitting so hard rn, Im not even gonna question how they heard of the night court when Feyre, who lived closest to Prythian for many years, didnt know anything aout the individual courts prior to getting there herself, Im just gonna put her whole little monologue here: "Oh? [...] The High Lord of the Night Court asks that we join him so that we can save lives together? Fight for peace? And what about the lives that you have taken during your long, despicable existance? What about the High Lord who shrouds himself in darkness and destroys the mind of those who stand in his way? [...] We have heard of you on the continent, Rhysand. We have heard of what the Court of Night is capable of, what you do to your enemies. Peace? I wouldn't have thought that you - a man who enslaves the minds of others and kills them out of pure enjoyment - even know that word."

Anyway, she was spitting absolute bars and Feyre gets super mad about it and almost commits arson but manages to reign herself in and its like girlie, why are you so upset? one of the first things we find out about the night court in this book is that they apparently indiscriminately kill (or atleast torture) anyone who crosses the night court border without permission like theyre the fucking us government, i think the bad reputation is justified

Forgive me if I sound callous, but I have absolutely no sympathy for Rhysand flinching at the mention of Amarantha when Feyre didnt even use her name and is also talking about how she fucking DIED AT HER HANDS

God, I feel like I have something to say about every single line this post is gonna be like 10 thousand words long by the time Im done

So lets take it from the top; Feyre tries to convince the mortal queens to give them the half of the book by recounting to them how much everyone suffered under Amarantha and how she was gruesomely beaten to death and then revived, which is not a compelling argument to me, who actually witnessed all of that, much less these queens who have barely any context for anything shes saying right now

The oldest queen is like "you dont know anything about anything" which is true what the fuck does Feyre know about whats going on in the human world or even the fae world at large, and then Rhysand growls "dont you dare talk down to her!!" because shes passionate and speaking from the heart or whatever and its like, okay, shes still not good at politicking or even just basic negatioation and shes talking to a seasoned politician who old as fuck

Like, if Feyre was actually smart, she wouldve long since realized that she couldnt convince these queens to protect this little slip of land right up to prythians border and been like "okay, you dont wanna protect the land, but can you atleast organize an evacuation so you can atleast save the people" Sure, they definitely still wouldnt have agreed to that because its a sjm book and theyre written to be comically evil, but it would atleast demonstrate Feyre being a little savvy, because right now all we're getting is her being stupid and stubborn in a situation where she really cant afford that

god, im just now noticing how pissed off I am, its been bleeding into my commentary and its not gonna stop, Im sorry. wait no, if youre reading this youre probably looking for negativity, so youre welcome, actually

Anyway, Rhys also says that Feyre is a kindhearted soul looking out for people who cant defend themselves even though she definitely thought that those human guards were pathetic for wanting to defend themselves when she and the other fae were soooooo much more powerful and he definitely knows that because the mental bond is fully open during this meeting and he chastises the queens for being selfish and cowardly when its like, my brother in christ you are doing the exact same bullshit, but atleast the queens are defending a wholeass continent while hes defending one (1) city. and iirc that city ends up getting attacked and destroyed anyway so good job my guy

Theres something so oddly biblical about the story Mor is telling about Miriam, down to her name being Miriam

That island thats removed from time is such bullshit istg

Is it just me or have these bozos not actually explained what they even need the other half of the book for. theyre just like "we need to stop this war and we'd like peace between humans and fae" and its like cool, hows the book gonna help with that though

im sorry, feyre wants to punch that old woman in the face????

the chapter ends with Elain being like "I hope they burn in hell" and i get that, they just straight up said that they want to abandon a whole bunch of people (them included) to die if a war breaks out, but you cant say that the night court girlies are not also at fault for being so fucking bad at politics

[idyllic-affections]

what are some of your furina headcanons? they can be about anything really, you're just the only person who gets her :3

im super fond of bigender furina, personally, since i see myself alot in her (i think im slowly becoming a furina kinnie /half joking), and ive already mentioned liking neuvillette being her adopted father (so much so i keep forgetting her real name isn't furina de neuvillette lol)

🐌.

OUGHGHG YAYYYY SOMEONE IS ASKING ME TO TALK ABOUT FURI MY LOVE YEAHHHH omg. okay. furi headcanons. these might change (i haven't finished her story quest yet!) but for now...

starting off angstful strong, i believe she has severe identity issues. she does not know anything about herself because she has long since lost everything to the role she had to play. being suddenly thrust into freedom, while she has waited for it for so long, was jarring and nervewracking for her. she "barely leaves the house" because she prefers to stay in while she tries to calm down and become more comfortable in her freedom.

furina sometimes accidentially dips back into her old dramatic flair (she's still dramatic, but in a more... traditional way; i.e., huffing and pouting when she gets exposed for not being able to cook yet, things like that). the fact that she does it doesn't upset her or anything, it's just instinct HAHA it can be kind of funny and lighthearted sometimes!

she instinctively wants to help solve people's problems to try and make up for her perceived inadequacy as the hydro archon.

she adopts many (okay maybe not many. maybe like. one) cats to keep her company c:

she's generally very softspoken now. in a way, i suppose this is canon? but what i mean when i mention this as a hc is that she's very gentle and mild in terms of her mannerisms now. she's still got quite the amount of sass to her, do NOT misunderstand /lh, but overall she's very reserved and polite. largely bc she's still recovering mentally, but also because i believe her to be a very kind and empathetic and sensitive soul (i mean... she was sobbing at poisson following the disaster. she still carries that guilt. she IS kind and empathetic and sensitive).

i think she would get along with children really well!

she's some unspecified kind of nonbinary, but in the "i honestly forgot wtf gender is after 500 years. gender was NOT my biggest concern" way. or genderfluid (haha get it. B. Because um. h. hydro archon. Fluid)

furina still greatly loves and adores the arts. she just doesn't want to be too deeply involved in them anymore (as one of the cast). she WILL be moved to tears if she sees a particularly sad opera

she would get along with lyney tbh.

also venti. i want them to meet in person. i want him to help her grow into her freedom. he IS the god of freedom, after all. who better to help her?

OH SPEAKING OF VENTI they would also get along just because he's a bard!!!! so many stories flow from his lips all the time!!!!!!!! for furi, it would be a fun change of pace from the operas and plays!!!!!

i feel like she and nahida would also get along on a super personal level. both of them were technically trapped for 500 years. furina's people believed in her, while nahida's did not... but really, what difference does that make when they were both trapped in one way or another?

[lincolnmkicks]

i don’t want to claim i have a wholly unique experience wrt dndads bc i decided to listen to this podcast bc i loved anthony’s previous writing in borderlands 2 BUT borderlands 2 is one of my fav games of all time and i want to shed some light on smth i very rarely seen talked about: the biggest narrative comparison between dndads and bl2 through willy stampler and handsome jack.

SO right off the bat im gonna mention anthony is fairly explicit about both willy and jack being attractive. it’s literally in jack’s name, his title after becoming ceo of hyperion, and he also managed to date—even if only for a little while—the in-universe most attractive woman in that corner of space (moxxi). anthony also makes it a point to talk about how frustratingly hot willy is all throughout the podcast, both seasons 1 and 2.

the intent is pretty clear. abusers aren’t all “conventionally unattractive,” and sometimes people have pretty privilege, and anthony by way of making both willy and jack attractive is forcing us to confront internal biases about who and what kind of people are abusive.

also the password being “i love you” for the box that supposedly held ron’s anchor that could only be activated by willy’s voice saying it? stolen directly from borderlands 2 (granted anthony wrote that so it’s not stealing but you know)

next up, they are not the exact same character-wise. willy pretty much hates his son from the get-go, there is never a time we see him hold genuine love for ron without a catch of some sort, and even the “genuine love” we see from willy is quite literally just tolerating his presence long enough that he can position him perfectly to murder him. jack, meanwhile, would probably kill anybody who tries to hurt his daughter. in fact, he damn well tries because we kill his daughter.

i’m gonna need to get a little in depth about angel real quick, so bear with me. angel is this mysterious voice in your head in both bl1 and 2, a guardian angel so to speak, and she helps you throughout both games. in bl2 it’s revealed that she works with jack, and for a time we believe she’s simply an ai he created to help him find/charge the vault key to awaken the warrior (long story, but the goal of a borderlands game is usually to open an ancient alien vault which has tons of loot but also contains vault monsters, the warrior being one jack wants to use to in essence colonize pandora).

angel is forced to betray us about a third of the way through bl2, but she reveals she feels extremely guilty about it and wants to help set things right by giving us the vault key. she tasks us with making our way through a bunch of security measures intended to kill anybody who tries to get near her, only to reveal, yeah she’s not an artificial intelligence, she’s actually jack’s daughter, hooked up to a vast intelligence network as a child to be jack’s eyes and ears across the planet as well as being constantly pumped full of an alien substance called eridium to help her charge the vault key. the reason she wanted to help us get to her was because she wanted us to literally put her out of her misery.

control core angel (the level where you fight off waves of robots sent to stop you from assisting angel in killing herself) is… sad. it’s just sad. dameon clarke does a killer job playing a sociopath like jack when he’s laughing about scooping people’s eyes out with spoons or telling you he’ll pay you to kill yourself, so it’s not much of a surprise that he’s also good at playing a man begging you not to hurt his baby girl. yeah, the whole time you’re fighting off the enemies in control core angel he is screaming at you, insulting you and threatening you, sure, but as you whittle down angel’s health, destroying the injectors literally keeping her alive, he begs you to forget all of this, and not hurt an innocent girl.

eventually the fighting stops, you succeed in allowing angel to die, she thanks you, jack begs her to stay with him because they can still fix this… and her last words are calling him an asshole.

bl2 has been out 10 years and people to this day debate jack’s love for angel. was it ever real? was he being genuine in control core? was he playing a part? trying to evoke your sympathy? did he truly think he was doing what was best for her? had he fallen so far? were all those security measures because he wanted to keep his daughter safe or the macguffin of the game? he’s still an incredibly interesting character to discuss and examine, his relationship with angel being one of my favorite bits of one of my favorite games.

willy would never. willy is forthcoming about needing daddy magic, knows his power comes from being a father, comes from the impact he had on ron’s life. meanwhile willy couldn’t give less of a shit about ron. he was a mistake, he is nothing, and willy was content with killing 13 year old ron to get some semblance of peace. willy is uncomplicated in his sliminess. maybe more complicated with his relationship with scary, but still nowhere near as divisive and mysterious in his motivations as jack.

jack is decidedly funnier than willy, mostly because borderlands 2 is a funny game, but after angel dies there’s an anger boiling just beneath the surface. dameon clarke grits out threats through clenched teeth, he relishes in torturing one of our allies, he rescinds a bounty on our heads bc he wants to kill us himself. nothing else we’ve done to hurt jack’s plans has made him react like this. but nothing else we’ve done has hurt jack’s plans this much. is that quiet, threatening anger, that vibe you get when your parents are angry but can’t express it until you get home, is that jack’s grief for his daughter, or anger that you tried to really mess up his plans?

jack is unknowable, because we aren’t his kid. angel tells us “he tries to guilt you and make you feel like it was your fault, don’t listen to him!” and the implication is clear. angel’s been strapped to a hyperion information network since she was like 7 years old, forced into a chair looking out over pandora for jack’s benefit, jack’s gain. but he still calls her “my angel”, he seems genuinely sad when he has to re-remember she’s dead in tales from the borderlands, he’s a father who lost his way seemingly.

angel was poisoned slowly, decaying over the years bc of her father. ron wasn’t worth the effort.

willy we know. ron is angel in this scenario. and maybe jack believed he held love for angel, but angel sure as hell didn’t like it. angel was poisoned slowly, decaying all her life by her father. ron wasn’t even worth the effort.

idk if any of this like. makes sense or if it’s just luci rambling about borderlands but the difference in anthony’s writing for two shitty dads with some similarities is crazy frankly.

[kil9]

re: the taemin thing (sorry im so annoying about this but i feel you wanna talk about it as much as me!). i wanted to mention his blinking habit too, but as someone who is not autistic myself (not diagnosticated at least lmao) i was afraid it was just me making assumption but you noticed it to so!!! cool. anyway i could say many more things but the line between being just a strange little dude and being a strange little autistic dude is so thin!!! (like the fact that he eats random stuff at unlikely times of the day or that he's so forgetful). ANYWAY!!!!!! i just really love him and how shinee adapts their behaviour around him to make sure hes comfortable

YES ur never annoying i absolutely wanna talk abt it forever 🥺🥺

(this got kinda long so im putting it in the readmore lol)

but yeah the blinking habit for real !!! ur definitely not wrong to pick up on that ! (i even sponged it from him sometimes lol x_x) its cool that non autistic ppl have an interest in this stuff tbh :3 i think that more ppl understanding autism and all the weird specifics of it is rly the key to our happiness ykno 🤔because most non autistic ppl know literally. jack shit.

also the eating thing YEAH 😭😭 thats also so autism to me. shinee is so good to him !!!! u can tell that even if they dont know WHY he is the way he is, that theyve figured out how he works and how to treat him....

there was such a moment in the 15m thing when key was asking taemin to "prepare" the veggies... and taemin got such a look of dread where hes like "what...... wdym.. ?" & kibum has to be like "CUT THEM taemin" lol 💀💀 its such a silly moment but its SOO quintessential to me for both what its like to be autistic (ie: what the fuck are u saying to me "prepare" this. as if im supposed to know what that means), and what its like to be close with an autistic person (kibum having to kinda remember to "translate" what hes saying for taemin so he knows what hes talking about, it reminds me of how my partner is with me sometimes 🥺)

also back to when im saying they probably dont know why he is the way he is, even if they know all his ins and outs, i think this is probably the same for taemin 🤔 he strikes me as someone who prob doesnt know hes autistic, just knows hes "weird" and "different" and has figured out how to live like that despite. reminds me of myself kind of, cos i wasnt "diagnosed" (used loosely) until maybe 19 ? which is still young but at that point i had already been thru school and everything not knowing x_x its definitely possible to figure your life out & how you work without a diagnosis, and i think it happens all the time, but its also really really hard. i think having a name for it and something u can actually research & learn about is rly helpful. so even tho hes like 30 now im still kinda always hoping he realises 🤔 if it makes his life that much easier ykno ?

this is also why it pisses me off so much that ppl get THAT up in arms when this is brought up. ppl act like falsely "accusing" someone of being autistic will ruin their life, when really its basically harmless (obviously unless ur directly using it as an insult). even the opposite might be true 🤷‍♂️ someone can rly benefit from realising about themselves. also why im so pro self dx !!! even if everyone is "misdiagnosing" themselves these days (🙄 which prob isnt true anyway) like. whats the worst that could happen ? why does it matter if someone is wrong... they might still find some info that will help them 🤷‍♂️ theres not really any autism "resources" that are in scarcity so i dont rly care if someone thinks they are even if theyre not ?

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

fuck it Cecio is a trans man. Celia 'acquired' some Anderos salve for him, and then when he was sent to his father, his father bought him a potion of sex shifting to finish of his transition.

more detail under the cut [+ bonus wtf is Celias gender. well she don't know either] warning for talk of dysphoria

As a kid Cecio wasn't particularly fussed about gender, he was his mothers precious little Cecio and his sisters little Ceci, and it wasn't like they could be picky with their clothes [not to mention Celia being masc as fuck] but once he was older [like 7] and started interacting with other kids, he realized he was uncomfortable being a seen as a girl and jealous of his male peers, so he told Celia and she asked him if he wanted to be a boy, and boom. trans. she asked around about it, and was pointed towards the salve, so just before puberty, she made sure to get enough money for sixth months of the salve, so he didn't have to go thru the wrong one. [his name was Cecio & he kept it bc its was kinda masculine anyway.]

once Cecio was in andoran, everything had said son [his father wasn't around for the birth & Cecio quickly socially transitioned] so his dad just went 'okay! ig i better but a sex shift potion' and boom. hes fully transitioned

Celia is gender queer herself, and while she normally uses she/her to self refer, she is more than comfortable with being referred to using he/him & they/them, and has spent many undercover missions as a man, and many non-undercover missions going along with what people assume. she has a complicated relationship with femininity, but its much more bc of how practical shes forced to be, and how the role of 'mother' was forced onto her.

Unlike Cecio, who was dysphoric even before puberty, Celia is fine with her body, even once she stops viewing it mainly as a tool. she just doesn't think about her gender that much, and deems it irrelevant. if she used technical labels [and cared enough to think about them] she would be some flavor of Agender and very slightly gender fluid [she sometimes does prefer to be him, but he doesn't get very dysphoric about it, and he has more to worry about.]

Cecio isn't loud about being trans, its just something that happened, and hes very secure in his identity as a gay man. if he hadn't had the potion he would not be having sex nearly as much as he does, bc of dysphoria. Luckily for him, even without the potion, his mothers face is very masculine, and he eventually is a stupidly tall 6 foot two. [the truly self indulgent character trait] & his father did one good thing and bankrolled the potion

while he did/does have dysphoria, hes now secure in himself due to his full transition, and is fine with being seen as a very pretty man. he could cut his hair, but he likes it long, and he now likes being just as beautiful as he is handsome. No-one has mistaken him for a woman in a long time, and if some of the guys make comments that are to close, well they can fuck off. he wont tell people, but if they ask, he will confirm, and then ask them if they have an issue with that? if not its chill.

and no matter how much anderos salve or sex change potions, Celia is still taller than him. L. hey at least hes 6 foot 2 even if he will never be taller than his sister!

also just celia being like 'fuck my lil sibling says gender dont fit. guess ill ask around' and learning all about it. and still being like 'im a woman ig' i love her/him/them<33 'im fine with all pronouns but i forget to use the others for myself' ass bitch. worlds worst agender. [its not misgendering to use she/her mainly at all! she does it herself]

[jelly-as-in-grape-concord]

48 + 50!

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

no one in either story is textbook "perfect cinnamon roll" but sasha ramirez and gigi (gianna crane (shes from cannibalistic pigeons, the project partner i mentioned)) are close contenders. Sasha is a nice person, but not like the pure and innocent variety yk? gigi on the other hand, does start out in cannibalistic pigeons as like 100% cinnamon roll but eventually unfurls completely as the forest begins to call her into it. kinda like how you unfurl an actual cinnamon roll, the sugar and cinnamon and sweetness is still there, it is fundamentally still a cinnamon roll, however it is now a strip of what it once was. or something like that idk the metaphor got away from me

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

uhhhhhhh this is really long so

the gloam started out as bnha fanfiction LMAO

from the basic idea i had written in my notes: "Izuku is accidentally taken to a different universe where the prototypes exist (yu takeyama=uraraka, that version of bakugou that was blunt about everything, other weirdly designed people like kaminari and toruu). The world is kinda in an apocalypse state thats overrun by creatures called aberrants. there’s “heroes” but they’re treated like pest control than celebrities (people still did hero gimmicks for the fun of it)

he ultimately made friends with the other versions. he was forced back home after katsuki was killed by aberrant and yu wanted revenge

when he wakes up back in the regular mha world, aberrants start entering the world and hes the only one who knows how to deal with them"

which in short: alternate universes or whatever. the reason why i abandoned this idea though was because it sorta molded izuku and several other characters into something that they werent. so i saw a post that was like something about fanfics turning characters into basically OCs and i was like. wait a minute. I CAN DO THAT

and so:

the first original idea used to be about 7 teens going on a big camping trip after graduating from high school. the main couple (sylvia + guy i forget the name of) get into an arguement, its super awkward so theyre all like ok ig lets just go home, so sylvia goes in the car with isaac and sasha and in this version, theyre not rlly besties, just people who are friends with each others friends kinda deal yk. but BOOM on the way back they get into a car accident. Sasha and sylvia r badly injured and cant get out, so isaac goes to get help but gets replaced by another person(same as happens in the gloam 4.0 (yeag there is a 3.0 im gettin there)). the rest of the group catches up, get out of the car, and get eaten by a monster. then the whole plot after that was that sylvia and sasha wanted to find isaac as the replacement admits that on the other side of the forest, theres an alternate universe that they could travel to find him. i have no idea what was so supposed to happen after so i scratched the idea.

gloam 3.0 was something similar, adding in the spiciness that the inside of the forest WAS the alternate universe and everyone in it was fighting for their lives. and also sylvia got a gun. what!!! then i scrapped it because i still had no idea how it would be ending or how the story would start because i kinda hated the car accident thing. i could never imagine it quite right.

then theres the gloam 4.0, where you BECOME this alternate version of urself by becoming a sick monster. and also i aged up the main three because i dont know how to write teenagers. im hardly one myself sometimes but i have hanged around both middle aged and old people for my entire life.

i did keep the original ig crossing a threshhold into an alternate universe thing as a seperate idea (anti-glory) but its not something im thinking or working on

(theres a lot more detail that i coul write here but im currently typing this in a moving vehicle and very sleepy)