#sometimes i forget i have a save tag and just keep them in my inbox to look at when i'm feeling down

[impulsivitytm]

Well, it's officially summer! Do you have any plans? Summer is a time where people tend to feel like they need to make most of the time they have! With the days only getting shorter from here on out, that's an understandable worry. But it's important to just enjoy your days as they come, and also soak up some sunlight! Like flowers, sunlight helps our mood and lets us flourish (BUT BE SAFE!) Also like flowers, we all bloom at different times and paces. Do not compare yourself to others; They may have already bloomed while you're still getting ready. But when you get there, it'll feel amazing. And in the meantime, make sure to show yourself some kindness and grace. You're doing what you can, and it's more than enough. I can't wait to hear about your adventures! I'm cheering for you endlessly. ♡♡ Victoria

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' - Eleanor Roosevelt

♡♡

[dirtybg3confessions]

UPDATE/INFO POST!

Hello my lovely sinners - it's hot on this blog but not as hot as my top floor apartment, I hope you're all staying cool and hydrated!

Here's what's up: Anon Rule, Double submitting, Mod status, Old post style and Alternative Confession blog!

Please send in asks anonymously!

I know sometimes you can forget, it's fine. But sometimes we get rows of asks off anon send to the inbox all by the same person, so i just want to make sure that old and new people keep that rule in mind. Asks will only be posted anonymously. If they are off anon, we will have to delete and re-submit the asks on anon with the current posting system. It doesn't matter if you are okay with being off anon, we will always ONLY feature anonymous confessions! (any off anons posted are slip ups on our end)

No doubles!

If you're confession hasn't been posted yet, please don't re-submit. Your new confession won't make the process faster, it will just take up a slot for another person and slow down the process.

Also, despite having around 2000 asks in the inbox, i recognize doubles (for some ungodly reason) and if i catch one, i'll just delete the double, so save all of our time.

No shaming/harassment/being pushy in regards to mod activity!

I, Bug, am not the owner of the blog. I carefully added another person to the blog recently who has been a big help in keeping the blog active these past weeks (?) while i'm currently juggling multiple irl events.

I don't know how much freedom I have and I personally do not want to be in charge of adding Mods and keeping everyone in check.

This blog has rules regarding tagging and posting and if I were to add more people, I would have to oversee everyone's activity for a while to make sure no bad actor has been added. I know first hand how easy it is to accidentally start a riot on here and nobody wants that.

So yes, things are slow. But the two people active right now simply do not have a say in who can be added and any of that so PLEASE stop asking. We are not oblivious to the waiting times and all that stuff. We are doing what we can.

About the fancy screenshot posts

As some of you know, I love making ungodly edits with beautiful screenshots. I want to make these posts again, but as you know, it will take time. It takes a surprisingly long time to make one of those posts, and I recently had an unfortunate thing happen, which resulted in all my save files braking - meaning I have NEVER finished the game and now have no save files to go back to for taking screenshots. I will have to replay the entire game.

I probably will make some fancy posts soon-ish, but i will most likely be forced to re-use old shots. I could offer for those interested to submit their own screenshots to @bugbreach (NOT TO THIS HERE BLOG!!!) if you are okay with me using them for this blog. I could try to sneak in a credit to the people who send them, but i cannot promise that yet (i guess you can just let me know if you want credit or not) also highly recommend Otis_Inf's photo mod on patreon, it's what i'm using)

But again. Just to be absolutely clear

CHECK OUT OTHER BLOGS!

I am gonna declare this one an exception, so don't go and start flooding the inbox with self promos pls.

I never checked myself, but I am fairly certain that there are other BG3 confession blogs out there - one of those is sharess-festhall, so if you like, do check them out as well!

[serickswrites]

Hiiii Serick! Gotta say, I loved those last one-shots Wash and Walls! Top-tier caretaking right there! <33

I am here to humbly request that you continue that one from that last ask I sent you with the two whumpers that hate each other. I neeeeeed to know what they're gonna do to poor poor whumpee >:3

Of course, no rush to answer, and I don't know when you'll read this but happy holidays to you!

-Blue

BLUE! BLUE! Yay, I am so glad you enjoyed the answer to the ask you sent me! (I know you wrote this ages ago, I have fallen so behind on keeping up with asks). And thank you for your thoughts on 'Wash' and 'Walls'. They were fun to write, and tbh I was a little proud of them, lol (I am getting a little more confident in my writing these days, sometimes lol). Please always ask away! I fall behind, forget to check my inbox. Prompts really help me sometimes when I'm feeling a little stuck (as I am these days with things irl, it makes writing hard sometimes).

I hope you had a good holiday season, Blue! My colorful friend! Please enjoy part 2 (and however many parts this one ends up being, and if you want it to continue, please send your squicks so that way I don't accidentally give you the ick!)

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Warnings: kidnapping, restraints, gag, talk of torture, threat of violence, two whumpers

Any moment now. Any moment now, Whumpee was going to walk by in search of Second Whumper. And then Whumper would pounce. Whumpee would be theirs once more. Theirs and this time there would be no escape.

Because of Second Whumper. Whumper loathed having to work with Second Whumper. Loathed everything about it. But if it meant catching Whumpee, perhaps it was worth it.

Whumper heard Whumpee's soft footsteps before they saw Whumpee. Now was their moment.

Without hesitating, Whumper leapt out of the bushes, arms immediately going around Whumpee. With a snarl, they quickly grabbed Whumpee and leapt back into the bushes.

"LET ME GO! OFF! NOW!" Whumpee roared as they struggled in Whumper's arms.

Whumper struggled against Whumpee. They weren't about to let go of Whumpee. They weren't going to let Whumpee escape. Not this time.

Whumper quickly began to try to bind Whumpee's arms behind their back, putting a knee in the small of Whumpee's back and putting all their weight on their knee to keep Whumpee pinned.

Whumpee still flailed and struggled, but they began to pant. Being held prone made it difficult to breathe. "LET ME GO!" They wheezed, their words becoming softer and quieter.

Whumper grinned as they bound Whumpee's wrists tightly. This was exactly how they wanted Whumpee. They would get Whumpee back to the warehouse and then they could have their way with Whumpee. Bring Whumpee to their knees. Have them begging. Whumper delighted knowing that they had finally won for once.

Suddenly Second Whumper appeared, dirty rag in hand. They shoved it in Whumpee's mouth quickly as Whumper glared up at them. "Can't have them making too much noise," Second Whumper offered when Whumper just stared at them.

They nodded. Second Whumper, loathe as they wanted to admit, was right. "Where's the car?"

Second Whumper smiled. "Just right over there." They knelt down near Whumpee's face. Whumpee glared and struggled around the rag in their mouth. "Ah, ah, Whumpee," Second Whumper cupped Whumpee's cheek softly, "save some of that for me for later. We are going to have some fun."

Tags: @its-getting-worse

[16woodsequ]

Hi! I’ve been following your Steve fics for a while and just wanted to say I really really love everything you’ve written, especially the Alternatively series.

Idk if you give writing advice and sorry if this comes out of the blue, but do you ever struggle comparing yourself to other writers on Ao3? I’ve been posting on and off lately but get so discouraged when I see fics with hundreds of thousands of hits and thousands of kudos and comments. I just don’t feel like I’ll ever compete with that, you know?

Hello! Thank you for your kind words! It always lifts me up to hear things like that :D

I've been thinking about this ask a lot to think of how I handle that feeling. Because it might surprise you considering how many people read my fics, but I also feel discouraged sometimes when fics don't get the engagement I'd love sometimes.

Here's some things I've done to help myself:

First, I added a skin to my AO3 to turn off numbers on fics. This blocks comment numbers, hit counts, kudos, that sort of thing. @ao3commentoftheday has good tutorials for ao3 skins. I made a google docs with the coding for the skins I use if you're interested.

I find hiding the numbers really helps me, because I found I was beginning to focus a lot on the numbers of my fics. These skins block the numbers on your fics and other people's. Doing this helps me not fixate on the numbers and take more happiness in the fics themselves.

When I first changed my ao3 skin I didn't turn it off for several weeks, to wean myself off of it, but now I turn it off on Sundays and give myself the day to enjoy looking at the bookmark numbers and stuff like that, because now it sparks joy more than discouragement, which is the goal.

Second, I try to treasure the good stuff. When creating things I find it very very important to remind yourself of the good things. Our brains are kind of wired to forget the positive reception we've gotten for things and we keep chasing more, which can leave us discouraged.

So find ways to treasure whatever happy things you've gotten from your fics or fandom experience online.

For example, I have a personal discord serve with just me where I save screenshots of amazing comments, touching notes, tags, bookmarks, asks etc that people have left on my fics and posts. This way I can go back and look at them anytime.

I also save my favourite comments in my ao3 inbox instead of deleting them.

And I've also started a scrapbook with my favourite comments so I can hopefully really remember them and imprint them into my brain.

Train yourself to truly appreciate the interactions you get. That's a whole person there! And that's pretty amazing.

Third, often what fandom people are truly looking for is community. That's why we want people to comment on our fics and art because we want to share this amazing idea we had and we want to talk about this thing we love!

So find a community that will listen to you. On tumblr or on discord or with a mutual. Find people who will be excited when you share a headcanon with them or a meme or an in depth analysis of a character.

I find that helps me feel appreciated and excited for what I'm working on and that really really helps.

Fourth, Don't compare your fics to someone's fics that have been posted for a year of more!! This is really easy to do, I do it with my own fics all the time.

But we forget that numbers accumulate over time! Of course your new fic doesn't have as many hits or kudos or whatever as a fic you posted three years ago!

Comparing the two is like getting to the party, putting your cake down and feeling bad because no one's taken a bite, while Brenda's cake, which has been here for two hours is mostly crumbs. These things take time sometimes!

Anyways, I hope this helps. Thanks for the ask!

[jackwolfes]

how do you feel about anons on tumblr? is there anything you’d want to tell your anons or anything they should know? what do you want/not want/love/appreciate/tolerate but feel annoyed by/etc? what’s kinda weird in a good way and what’s crossing a line or kinda weird in a not good way? what kinds of anon messages do you not respond to? i’m a fan without a tumblr just wanting to engage in a way that feels good to you but the anon relationship feels unbalanced bc you have no say! much love thank u

darling this is so sweet of you 🥺 I’ve had v bad experience with fandoms and boundaries before so this is very thoughtful and lovely 💖

i tend to answer pretty much every anon bc I love getting them!! the most likely reason for me not replying is because it’s a request that I want to save in my inbox to post when I write it 😅 but if something makes me uncomfortable I will flat out ignore it!

sometimes folks forget that I have no idea whether I’m getting an ask from a person I know that is shy, or someone I have literally never spoken to before. I love getting anons! But y’all aren’t my friends! there are things you may say super casually to a friend that are just fucking strange to say to someone who doesn’t have any idea who you are, AND who you don’t entirely know.

this isn’t a problem all the time bc usually things are harmless and kind of charming!! 9/10 i have no problems with any sort of weird shit! but if i ask for anything it’s please please please consider the fact that you don’t know all that much about my life! I have been open in the past that I do not like receiving blunt or blasé asks about wylan/Adam’s family backstories and would prefer related questions/prompts have something like “TW abuse” at the start

otherwise personally for me my fave thing to receive is questions about my writing/fic!! For this blog at least, bc it’s my writing blog - if you have questions about me the person, or gen questions about my fandoms, or other random ass shit, you can send them but I prefer them on my main @americanbeautiies because this is mainly a writing space for me! but that’s not a hard and fast rule because I genuinely do just love the strange random shit I get through this inbox! I like the stupid horny stuff, I like the confusing questions, i like people telling me what they like about my fic, I like that y’all want to have a relationship with me in some form!! And I don’t want it to stop or change, I just want people to maybe trigger tag their stuff 😅

TLDR: I love y’all, keep sending strange weird horny shit, pls trigger tag things especially abuse mentions

[gear-project]

. . .

Welcome to New Followers:

Just a head's up: I take Guilty Gear Lore very Seriously on this blog, something you may not be used to, compared to other blogs on Tumblr.

I very rarely post jokes, memes, fake-outs, or parodies (unless absolutely warranted or deserving).

I do sometimes celebrate GG Birthdates and other events, depending on the flow of things. I haven't done so for older characters in a long time because I haven't had much new content to add.

I will also be (on occasion) fixing older outdated content from this blog, so expect a few edits once in a while... and if you spot posts that have GG Lore in them that don't have tags, please let me know and I will TAG them appropriately! There were times in the past when I would rapid-fire answer questions and forget to add tags to some old posts, so just beware I am not perfect.

If you read something and don't understand or something catches your eye that you want to discuss, feel free to ask in my inbox. Try not to be too intense, I try to keep things civilized and peaceful around here.

Sometimes I will post long articles or posts from time to time, but if you don't have time to read them, just save them for later in your spare time.

For resources and other more pressing things, be sure to remember I have a "Links" tag that links to various GG content, and a "GG+News" tag, which I always use to keep people up to date. Also the "GG+Interviews" tag has a lot of useful info as well.

That's it for now... thanks for following, and I hope you begin to enjoy Guilty Gear a little more from now on~!

[sinnamonrasinslut]

The Ease With Which We Hurt [I] ICorpse Husband x Fem!ReaderI

A/N: You guys. I have never simultaneously loved AND hated a piece that I wrote. I really don’t know how I feel about this, but I promised myself last year that I wouldn’t overthink my writing, so here we are. This is part one of most likely four, but we’ll see about that. Thank you to everyone in my inbox who gave me ideas to turn this into a multi chapter fic! They’re all coming, I promise :)

SYNOPSIS: Corpse loves her, she loves Corpse. But both of them are too dumb to realize it, and too afraid to admit it. 

It started, like most good things in his life, out of the blue.

He met her three years ago. Well, not met, but befriended her three years ago when her podcast was just taking off. He remembers sending her a DM about how great her work was, remembers her being gracious in her praise of his own narrations after and he remembers talking to her well into the night until she fell asleep. The rest, to Corpse, is history.

And yet, all he knows of her is a voice, a name, and the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen. she chooses to wear a mask every time they FaceTime, just for the formality of the entire ‘faceless’ situation. She’s told him she thinks it’s ironic, how she feels like he knows her inside out, and she’s still afraid to show him her face. It’s not like corpse can blame her. She doesn’t even know his name, let alone what he looks like, and it’s a miracle she hasn’t filed him away as some no face creep by this point. 

But she hasn’t. She’s still here, after three years of being her friend, and almost a year of seeing her eyes and convincing himself that she’s his friend, damnit, she’s still here. It’s already a lot more than he can ask for.

He’s been holding himself back from falling in love. Or rather, he’s been in love for as long as he can remember, but he's been adamant on denying it; because he knows how this goes. It’s never gone well for him in the past. And he’s not ashamed to admit that he’s afraid. But sometimes, she tells him things that make his heart break, just out of the realization of how absolutely fucking stupid he's being, holding back from her.

He’s convinced that when he dies, she’s going to be the light at the end of his tunnel. That heaven means nothing more to him than a place in her world, however small, however insignificant, as long as he gets to see her eyes for the rest of eternity.

Every part of corpse tells him that it's love. But he tries to push it away, suppress his own feelings till he's nothing but a walking contradiction, overflowing with voices that only say her name.

But he’s tired. And he's scared. Because he’s been down that road before, opened himself up to people who haven’t liked what they saw and left with pieces of him he’s not sure how to tape back. He’s unsure if he's willing to let her try.

So, he settles for a small corner of her world, a little piece of her existence that gives him life, and every time he talks to her, hands flailing as she animatedly tells another story, he pushes the yearning to the back of his head till it crawls down and clings to his windpipe, unsure and immeasurable, and he can’t speak anymore without choking. But then she says things that make his heart jump into his throat, and then he’s choking but for entirely different reasons.

“What would you do if I was gone?”

He doesn’t mean it like that. Well, he does, a little bit, but his brain isn’t taking over every part of his body trying to convince him he’s unwanted, so he doesn’t mean it like that. He’s only curious, maybe in need of a little reassurance. And nobody does reassurance better than her.

She doesn’t say anything for a very long moment. Corpse knows the gist of her impending answer but the pause still blooms unnecessarily in his chest. But it’s not like they haven’t done this before.

“I’d write about you.”

“Huh?”

She only huffs a laugh at his confusion. She pulls a blanket closer around her and props up her phone to rest against what he assumes is a wall.

“You’re not easy to forget, Corpse,” her voice is soft, truthful without flattery, provides comfort without justification. “if you were gone, I’d write about you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, that’s the least I’d need to cope.”

It’s not what he thought he’d hear, but it’s becoming increasingly clear to him that it’s exactly what he needed. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her. 

“Besides,” she continues, hair falling in her face as she adjusts the blanket, “there is no place for me in a world without you in it.” 

 And he physically feels his heart stop and clench in his chest. The thought of meaning this much to anyone, to her in particular, is more than he knows how to handle. So, he doesn’t follow that up with a quip, no teasing laughter, no suggestive, exaggerated winks that only he can see. He only lets himself bask in the warmth of her honesty, lets her smile at him in that way only she does, the way that makes him freeze and ache and crumble.

He chooses not to talk after that, settles for listening to her tell stories about her childhood. Her voice is the purest thing he’s ever heard, he’d hear her talk till the world ended if he could, and the sweet lilt of her voice lulls him to sleep hours after she’s hung up the phone.

He doesn’t get to talk to her for almost two weeks after that. He misses her a little, but he keeps that to himself, and instead, tags her under dumb twitter memes and sends her pictures of cats that he’s saved specifically for times like these, and another video of two geckos fighting on a tree captioned ‘u and me’ .

There’s no place for me in a world without you in it.

The words wrap around his ribs like a noose, tightening by the second. Some days, when his heart is fast enough to beat out of his ribcage, it grounds him just as much as it hurts. But when she’d said it to him, it passed through him like a train wreck, distorting all semblance of control he’d convinced himself he had.

He knows it’s ridiculous, but he loves her. She’s only a voice through his phone and eyes on his screen and he has no clue what the rest of her looks like, but he’d be damned if he lets himself deny it one more time. He loves her. And that’s the most terrifying thought he’s ever entertained.

It doesn’t take long after that realization takes root, for him to send her a picture. He doesn’t let himself think too much about it. Taking pictures of himself is still new to him, but he tries his best. Don't think about it too much, he reminds himself, and unsurprisingly, it's her voice in his head that does all the soothing. He captions it something stupid, more out of habit than anything else (my hair makes me look like Dora the exploraH), with his name across his forehead and ‘Dora’ in brackets beside it. 

Momentarily, he wonders if he’s ever asked her if she even wants to see his face. (He has, and he distantly remembers her agreeing as long as he’s comfortable with it.)

He hits send before he has the chance to stop and think. 

Then he waits. 

Her response is quicker than he’s prepared for, her name flashing across the facetime request on his phone. He’s giggling before he even picks it up. 

“CORPSE, WHAT THE FUCK!” 

For a very long moment, they just stare, taking each other in. This is his endgame, corpse thinks, he’s never going to need to show anyone his face after this, nothing, no one will matter as much. 

With a jolt, he realizes that she’s not wearing her mask. He can see her, all of her, and that on its own should be enough to take him out.

And then she smiles. 

If there was any doubt in his mind before about how head over heels he is, she’s taken it out of his mind and stomped it to the ground. He’s not the poet in this friendship, but he’s assured he could write entire paragraphs about the way she smiles. And he tells her exactly that. 

“I’m curious to see how that would fit with fine lass nice ass cat ears and she uwu,” she teases, eye twinkling with mirth, “but I'm sure you’ll figure it out.” 

He’s both amazed and amused at how quickly they go from fawning to bantering. But perhaps that’s the thing about her that feels so familiar.

“I will write a song about you baby, don’t tempt me.” 

“Is that a threat?” 

“It’s a confession,” he shrugs, suddenly shy, unsure of where to lead with this. Thankfully, she interjects before he has to say anything else. 

“That’s an awfully bold confession for a man called Corpse.”

“I’m also awfully alive for a man called Corpse, but you don’t see me complaining.” Awfully alive and not enough husband, he wants to say, but he keeps that to himself. 

“You complain about being alive everyday, Mister Husband,” she counters and Corpse groans, dropping his head into his hands. 

“I say that to you in confidence,” he grits out, playfully glazing at her.

“You also tell about a million people on stream, I’m not special,” she laughs. 

“You are very special to me.” His voice is soft, shy, almost afraid to tell her the things he’s saying, “I did say I’d write a song about you. Pretty special if you ask me.”

She hums, taking a huge gulp of water and nodding enthusiastically. 

“Correct, me, the cat girl and the e girl. What’s the next single, Corpse? Faceless Girls are ruining my life?” 

“You’re a rascal,” he chides as a familiar warmth settles around his heart, and grips. 

“It is one of my finer qualities, yes.” 

Distantly, some part of his brain registers that this is the first time he’s seen her, but there is no sense of hesitation in his head about her. It feels just like it always has, with her on the phone saying the silliest things, and him responding with equal enthusiasm. This is the way they’ve always been. 

While she talks, hands animatedly moving around, Corpse allows himself a small moment of reprieve to think. He knows he loves her, but he wonders briefly if it’s too soon to be in love with her (he concludes that probably it is, given that she remains unaware of his feelings, but he finds that it doesn’t really matter)

Because while Corpse loves her, he’s sure he doesn't know how to love her. Doesn’t know her favourite flowers even if he knows her coffee order by heart, doesn’t know her ideal date even if he’s memorized every poem she loves. 

The meanest parts of his brain tell him she deserves better, and he knows they’re wrong. But a small part of him can’t help but dwell. He’d rather have her and her unnecessary hand movements in his life as his friend than not at all. So he pushes away his feelings for another day, and just listens to her talk. 

Corpse is perfectly content with that. 

[taeyohonic]

stolen dances | chap. VI

summary: sometimes supporting the person you love is the hardest challenge you’ll ever face.

pairing: jeon jungkook x fem!reader

rating: m

warning: two swearwords

additional tags: f2l, ceo!jungkook, bestfriend!jungkook, shrink!yoongi, my best friend’s wedding meets 27 dresses (if the boss/secretary couple had happened), angst-y

words: 2000

links: prev. | next  [masterlist]

note: lower case letters intended

chapter summary: there are too many zeros for namjoon to decline

“yoongi warned me about this”, namjoon says while drawing lines across his coffee mug. you roll your eyes, clearly annoyed by your therapist. of course, he connected the dots as soon as you asked for his friend’s number.

“he warned you of getting a hefty tip? maybe even playing your own mixtapes in front of the music elite? in front of the kim seokjin?”, you answer with a sarcastic bite in your voice.

now namjoon is staring at you, calculating silently in his head. after a second to think, he responds.

“no, he warned me about dj-ing at your crush’s wedding while you’re coping with your shrink on the dancefloor… slowly moving your arms in chicken wing motions.”

you laugh at his description, surprised by the accuracy.

“don’t laugh… he had a whole diorama about this.”

your laughter is growing in volume as you try to imagine how yoongi glued wings onto a paper version of you.

“so… these few zeros won’t change your mind?”, you say and slide one of jungkook’s business cards across the table. your new barista friend takes the high-quality paper with caution. but then his eyes widen at the five numbers scribbled across your best friend’s name.

“no way”, he breathes, “this could finance my whole audition tape.”

you smirk at him, glad that taehyung didn’t lie to you when you asked him about the needed budget to audition. there is some pride in your posture, pleased at your wit.

“so, i can set up a meeting?”, you wonder out loud. the mocha in front of you is getting cold and your time is running away from you by the minute.

namjoon keeps staring at his payment, not fully grasping the reality of your offer.

“turn it around, joon”, you whisper. it’s the final blow as the barista sees the phone number on the other side. seokjin’s name is scribbled underneath with a winking smiley.

you’ve got yourself a wedding dj.

**

“i don’t know why we have to get another dj. what’s wrong with jae?”, jungkook mutters as he helps you out of your jacket. the candlelight inside this restaurant is warming your skin, a much-needed warmth because of the missing sleeves of your black dress.

you can hear your best friend sucking in a deep breath, his eyes burning holes into your bare shoulders. but when you turn around to catch his eyes, jungkook is looking at the tip of your nose.

“you look beautiful, _____”, he says in a distant tone. there is no emphasis in his words, but still jungkook doesn’t lie. maybe he forgets stuff, maybe he hides some information. but jungkook never lies. he didn’t say he baked the muffins – you just… assumed.

“really, ____”, your best friend repeats and hands your jacket to the waiter next to you. you smile at him in thanks.

“right back at you, handsome”, you say cheekily and pat his suit jacket. the dark green velvet looks painted on his toned arms and you can’t help the blush coloring your face.

there is a beat of silence before a cleared throat makes you flinch.

“your second party is already here, mr. jeon.” your waiter looks at you apologetic and you try to send him a reassuring smile in return.

“lead the way, then.” jungkook’s hand rests on your lower back as he pushes you in the dining room. his fingers press against your spine and you catch yourself leaning into his touch. it’s a maddening feeling, really. you try to collect your thoughts before spotting namjoon across the room.

“because taehyung slept with them", you whisper. jungkook snorts at your confession.

“who do you mean with them?”, he asks.

“both jae and the two follow-up candidates. he just… slept through the whole list of djs”, you explain. there is the tiniest part of you that is proud of taehyung for silently sneaking behind your back.

“why would he do that?”, jungkook whines into your ear and you snort at his pained expression.

“it was some kind of test. he listened to their playlists… one thing lead to another… it wasn’t pretty.”

“how ugly was it?”, he asks.

“you don’t wanne know… one of them cried on my voice mail two nights ago. like…ugly cried.”

“i should have been more help in the last months, _____. i’m sorry.”, jungkook confesses, recognizing what you had to deal with in the last months.

you squeeze his biceps, feeling the soft velvet under your fingertips.

“nah, you’ve got a company to run, jungkook. and you’re here now.”

“_______”, namjoon greats you warmly as you stop in front of the table. the barista looks so different not surrounded by the hefty smell of coffee. his green apron is gone – now he’s dressed in a beige colored cashmere sweater and some black pants. his hair his combed neatly and the dimples flashing you are making you smile softly at him. without missing a step, you hug him. the sweater smells faintly of vanilla and you feel yourself sniffing against his chest.

“glad you could make it, namjoon.” the musician and part time barista smirks down at you. why are all men around you that much taller? you need more yoongis in your life.

“yeah… kind of afraid to get another powerpoint in my inbox.” you snort. nobody values your powerpoint skills enough.

“i adore her slides a lot”, your best friend offers from behind you. you flinch at his cold tone, not surprised to see his face matching his voice. jungkook always wears his emotions on his sleeves.

still, to see him this tense when meeting a new person worries you. taking a step away from namjoon you move closer to your past idol. jungkook takes your elbow and pushes you against his side instantly.

“why don’t you introduce us, _____?”, he orders while looking at your barista with distrust.

“of course”, you start and try to escape namjoon’s raised eyebrow at jungkook’s hands on you.

“jeon jungkook, meet kim namjoon, your newest wedding dj", you say with faked enthusiasm. only your recent therapy helps you suppress the jazz fingers you want to make as an ice breaker.

both men stare at each other in silence. you feel some curious glances at your back while your group just stands in the middle of an overpriced restaurant.

“nice to meet you, mr. jeon. congrats on your engagement”, namjoon says and bows to your friend. jungkook takes a second too long to respond, just letting the man bow in front of him. it’s a power move you don’t care for, so you use your elbow to poke him.

“ouch, ____”, he whines lowly, but bows as soon as he sees your hostile eyes.

“thank you, mr. kim.”

again, there is a tensed silence you do not understand. soon, the waiter saves the moment.

“why don’t we get you seated and then i can bring you a bottle of your favorite chardonnay on the house?”

you could kiss him right now, because both men sit down instantly as the waiter moves your seat for you.

“thank you”, you whisper and feel him smile at you reassuringly. then he is rushing away to get enough alcohol for this table.

“i didn’t know you two know each other”, jungkook says. there is accusation behind his words and you feel yourself shift on your seat. did you have plenty of times to tell him in the last two days that the newest candidate is a friend of yours? sure. did you take the easy way out and just… emailed him the info? maybe.

“it was in the folder i sent you yesterday”, you mutter. namjoon watches the two of you with interest just as jungkook nudges your shoulder.

“would have been nice for you to tell me in person, ____”, he says softly, no longer mad at you. he sees how tensed your shoulders are. jungkook doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. this joined wedding planning should be fun.

“how did you two meet?”, he asks, directed at the other male across from you.

“she went to one of my gigs”, namjoon explains and smiles at jungkook. you silently applaud his professionalism. first, he congratulated jungkook on his engagement, then the second comment leads straight to his musical work. and not a word about your shared friend, yoongi.

“you do music?”, jungkook asks, now more interested.

“remember the playlist from last weekend?”, you say and smile at the waiter filling your wine glass.

“the one during our movie night?”, jungkook asks and takes two ice cubes from the wine cooler to wordlessly mix them into your glass. he knows how much you like your white wine iced and watered. for the first few months of your friendship, you felt so out of place in jungkook’s world that you didn’t voice your preferences. then, during an outing with jimin at a grungy bar downtown, you shyly asked for extra ice. he still smiles at the memory.

“don’t call it a movie night. i haven’t seen us watch one movie in the last year”, you snort. most of the times seokjin makes a mean meal and your friends stuff themselves full of carbs. then you are all talking with rounded bellies, maybe someone demands a rematch on jungkook’s playstation.

“so, you played some of his songs last saturday?”, jungkook asks.

you nod at the memory. “yeah, it was the one where seokjin slutdropped in front of me.”

namjoon snorts at your words. “kim seokjin slutdropped to one of my songs? can i get that framed?”

now even jungkook smiles kindly at your barista. “i don’t think you need to. you’ll be able to see it with your own eyes at the wedding.”

after that the dinner is more enjoyable. you are gobbling at a hot cheese string of your lasagna when it happens:

jungkook is talking to namjoon, eyes gleaming as he tells him about the first dance.

“i really want it to be a remixed version of spring day”, he explains. “it was the first song i co-wrote for my group.” namjoon nods and scribbles a few words on his ipad.

“the remix from your third album?”, the dj asks. you are impressed by namjoon’s knowledge of bangtan. there is a fangirling part of you still feeling very protective of your favorite idols.

jungkook shakes his head. “nah man, it’s way too outdated. it was like… seven years ago. why don’t you play a bit with the sound?”

you have never seen a kid in your class as excited as namjoon right now. the barista looks like jungkook just gave him a disney all exclusive ticket. and maybe it is on the same level when a highly awarded idol lets you remix one of their song.

“you’d trust me with that?”, namjoon whispers. you munch on your cheesy treat as jungkook nods.

“obviously i’d check it out beforehand… but, your mixture sounds cool. it’s fresh. maybe you can even add some rap parts yourself?”

you push another spoonful of lasagna in your mouth while namjoon stutters in front of you. it’s like cinema without the popcorn.

“you want me to… add to your award-winning record?”, he whispers in awe at the former idol.

“why not? just try your best; if it’s not working out, we can just switch to an acoustic performance from the other members. maybe jimin can cover my high notes”, jungkook muses and looks at your full cheeks with a smile. you grin back at him, clearly happy with his trust in your friend.

“may i have yoongi help me with that?”, namjoon asks in excitement. your greasy smile drops from your lips as jungkook’s head moves back to namjoon, not noticing the dread in your face.

“huh?”

“you know, most of the times the two of us work on music together. yoongi is really, really good with lyrics.”

it’s like seeing an accident happening in slow motion. there is nothing you can do other than chew as fast as you can.

“yoongi?”, jungkook asks and the hot tomato sauce burns your throat as you swallow your food.

“yoongi, you know? _______'s plus one?”

 ______

ahhh! i wanted to do some more barista joon as well as give you some more… jk x reader action! i hope you all enjoyed this update! let me know what you think… it really helps with my motivation. thanks to everyone who supports me with a like, reblog, comment, message… it’s really instant serotonin. on another note: the horse has to leave the hospital!! all the best! stay safe, happy and hopeful! love, dana

taglist: @livewittykid  @thequeen-kat @kagami-s-void @goldenclosethobi @youwannabelostandnotbefound @jinsalpaca @bishuthot @laabellaavitaa21 @baekstans @jalexad​ @kimluvwoo​

[stonefreeak]

I absolutely love your chancellor kenobi series and am so grateful that you've written so much of it, you have sparked much joy for me. I wanted to ask your advice as someone who has written & published a large AU with many moving parts. How do you choose what order to publish things in? Do you have an outline that you stick to, do you publish as you write it, do you go with the flow?

Hello! Thank you so much, I'm glad to hear that you enjoy it!

Now, I could probably tell a few horror stories about how I was structuring my files and writing early on before @veilofadyingstar clowned on me enough times to get me to not write more than 5 different fics in the same google doc, separated only by headers (yes really), but I don't think that's very conductive to your questions, so I'll leave it at that, lol.

Chancellor Kenobi (CK) started as directly-into-tumblr ficlets. As in, I wrote everything directly into the text post editor and then just tagged it and pressed save and that was that.

It was also, early on, sort-of-not-really a prompt fic. Basically, I started by writing a ficlet on an idea, and then people wanted more of that ficlet, so they sent me asks. Sometimes they did manage to hit on what I imagined would happen, sometimes they didn't (in which case I would tell them what actually happened). I have so many asks still that I planned on replying to with a ficlet but just forgot, which is why my inbox currently has 156 messages in it, lmao (sorry everyone who sent me an ask!)

Back when this was the format CK was in, back in December 2016, I posted ficlets in whatever order I wrote them. I updated daily back then, sometimes even twice per day. After 10 days of this (so on the 13th, with about 10ish ficlets to the story) I asked if people wanted me to collect everything in a masterpost, which they did, at which point I had to go back and actually double check the order of events.

This was all so early on in the story that I just posted ficlets as I wrote them, haphazardly adding them into the timeline where they belonged, without caring about posting order at all.

I had an idea of what would happen, and as it grew more complex and I got further into the story, I realised that posting things out-of-order wouldn't be feasible anymore. The ficlets were becoming far too context dependent (because of the complexity and details of the plot) so even though I was still writing ficlets in the order of "whatever strikes my fancy", I now had to wait with posting until it was actually the next bit of the plot, this is when my updates started to slow down a lot, because yeah...

I started writing down an outline of events, but I never finished that, and I've since lost it lmao. So the actual plot, the story, the details... all of that lives only inside my head. I'm mentally keeping track of everything.

Which, honestly, I don't think I recommend that LMAO

After all, keeping it all in your head means that if you forget something, lmao, it's gone. bye bye

However, I did mention fairly recently that I'd done some organising of my files where I properly placed files out in order and name them, which now kind of works as an outline, lol (I use a writing subscription service for a gamified writing experience called 4thewords). However, there are a few blank files in between the named ones because I know I need more stuff in there in between the named events so it's not really a proper outline either.

So. I still write the fic out of order, which is something I can easily do due to the format I'm writing it in: interconnected ficlets as chapters. This means that I have ficlets that are far in the future of what I have posted, but they cannot yet be posted for the simple reason that the plot is now so complex that things need to be posted in order, otherwise it won't make sense.

As such, I no longer publish as I write, though I used to. At this point, the fic has grown too large and has too many moving pieces for that to be feasible.

Generally, I usually like to finish a fic before I post it, because that means that I can go back into early parts and edit them if need be (say I come up with something cool I need to foreshadow, or I realise that I mentioned something too early, or I realise I introduced a plotline I dropped so it's better to edit it out etc etc). That's not really possible with CK anymore (though, I mean, I guess I could go back and secretly edit stuff and pretend like nothing's up, lmao) so it's entirely possible that this fic has some inconsistencies etc (though I do my best to ensure there aren't any, there's always the risk I've missed something).

Writing CK and sharing it with all my readers has been an amazing experience, and I dearly hope people are not only willing to stick with me to the end, but also that they will feel like the pay-off was worth it.

For some people, finishing a fic before posting doesn't work because they need engagement to keep going, which is absolutely valid! For that, I think having a more structured outline is very useful in order to keep things clear and avoid accidental plot holes. It's no guarantee of course.

Ultimately, how you post and how you write comes down to you as an individual writer.

For me, it's rather flexible. Sometimes I write things in a strictly chronological order from start to finish and that's it. Sometimes I skip around in the story and need to make sure I leave very large empty spaces (metaphorical or literal) so I know where there's missing content that need to be written before the story is finished.

All of this is of course very much personal to me, and what works for one writer might not work for another. But I hope it gives you some help and some insight, perhaps.

Happy writing, anon!

[chaoticspacefam]

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

[stcrryknights]

RULES

No godmodding. Plenty of my characters are powerful, believe me, I know. Two are practically gods. But I always put limits to them so the roleplay is enjoyable for both sides. I prefer my writing partners to do the same. If your character is capable of stopping every single thing mine does you just corner both of us and it's not fun anymore. I will discuss it with you before writing a powerful character (e.g. Rhys/Alistair) or gods (e.g. Horus, Anubis) so if your character is in a god modding level, please come to me before putting it in a thread.

Don't pressure me for replies. I am a part time (maybe soon full time) journalist and a gamer so most of my free time goes to gaming. I also rp in other platforms so I am going to be rather slow. If you feel like you can't wait, do not interact.

Do not presume I'm ignoring you. This isn't exactly a rule but a note. I have over 100 (I think) muses which means it's practically impossible to keep all of them active. Some will be more active during one time, some others during another. Only few muses are strong enough to stay active despite what I'm watching or doing irl to inspire my writing. With that being said, if you see me replying but I'm not replying to you it does not mean I'm ignoring you, it means I lack the muse for our thread. If you feel like I have forgotten (because yes, there is a chance I miss something when saving everything to drafts) please do let me know and don't jump into conclusions.

No ooc drama. As you probably have noticed, one of my favorite things to do is making my characters suffer, which is probably the reason most of them hate me, lol. But I am a human being, with anxiety and a lot of stress in my life so I will not tolerate ooc drama. It doesn't only kill my muse, but also fills me with anxiety and I already have an unhealthy amount of that as a journalist. If you spread anonymous or ooc hate, you will be ignored and if it keeps happening you will be blocked.

Let's agree to disagree. Not everyone is gonna have the same opinion on everything. Whether that's character related (e.g. I think Robert Stahl is a complex character I wish to write as, some others just consider him a psychotic stalker) or ooc related (e.g. I don't consider getting drunk as something fun to do so I generally dislike clubs and I avoid drinking) we can have different opinions and talk about them ooc. But if you are not willing to accept my opinion, do not talk to me about the matter. Moreover, if you think your opinion will affect our rp or our ooc relationship, do not interact.

Discuss. Sometimes plotting is hard and writing a random starter might be the easiest thing to do and I understand that. But not all the rps will go smoothly. If you feel like you don't like something in the plot, come to me so we can talk about it. Also, I'm a huge fan of ocs and I do focus heavily on headcannons, so if you feel uncertain about something, please talk to me about it. Conversation sometimes is the perfect solution.

Do not control my characters. Writing is fun, trust me. But you have your character, I have my own. I ask you not to write my characters actions but also not to control my character and his backstory unless we have discussed it. I can ship with you, I can make our characters related, but not until we plot it out. And as mentioned above, there is a chance we disagree. If you feel like you're not comfortable with that, please avoid interacting.

Triggers and NSFW. Plenty of my characters have triggering elements (e.g Rhys - Blood, Sepherd - bugs). I will try my best to tag them in threads but if your trigger is bugs, avoid reading anything related to Sepherd since it's a part of his character. If your trigger warnings is stalking, avoid reading threads or memes / headcannons related to Robert Stahl, especially his Shades of Blue verses. Sometimes I might forget to tag something especially in threads were a trigger is heavily present (e.g. Blood in a zombie apocalypse thread) so avoid some threads if you feel like it will be triggering. Now I don't generally write nsfw because I just feel like I can't deliver good nsfw threads but in case nsfw is present it will be tagged. Also, please don't pressure me to write nsfw. I am not comfortable with it (even though I'm 20+). That doesn't mean I won't do it but please don't pressure me into it.

Ooc chat. I prefer getting to know my writing partners so I might as well slip into your inbox. In case you are not comfortable sharing, you are more than free to decline this and we can stay strictly to plotting. I generally prefer getting to know my rp partners so we interact better but that doesn't mean I won't write with you if you only wish to plot.

[literateleah]

tagged by @seavoice and @deithe ! thanks so much y’all 🤗

fun get to know me asks:

1. name/nickname- leah! i don’t have any nicknames irl my name just doesn’t work hmm

2. gender- female

3. star sign- virgo sun pisces moon aqua rising

4. height- just barely five foot three inches

5. time- 12:47 am

6. birthday- august 29th, 2004

7. fave bands/groups- PARAMORE, big scary, sylvan esso, superfruit

8. fave solo artists- tinashe, banks, lennon stella, dua lipa, ellie goulding, hollyn, aluna

9. song stuck in my head- weakness (huey lewis) by lennon stella or you get me so high by the neighborhood

10. last movie i watched- thoroughbreds (2017) IM OBSESSED prob gonna rewatch this weekend

keep reading below the cut :)

11. last show- i’ve been trying to finish the 100 for literally five months but i get so distracted and never watch it

12. when i created this blog- march! got bored in quarantine but actively started using it in october i think

13. what i post- oh boy hmm rr crit is prob my most serious content but i reblog things from all media i consume which is a huge variety. my original posts are every random thought that passes through my brain and y’all just gotta read it all unfortunately

14. last thing googled- criminal minds unsub three men; LOL looked that up for my sister while she watched an episode

15. other blogs- i have a backup/side but i need to change the url before i get it up and running and i have a few other urls saved

16. do i get asks- yeah sometimes! mostly from moots or anons on ask games but i appreciate literally anything and everything y’all send to me, the joy i get seeing that lil inbox icon pop up is such a rush like you want to send me a message!? so cool

17. why i chose my url- i regret this sometimes haha but i wanted to use this for mainly book/literary crit content but devolved from that somewhat obviously

18. following- yikes idk but it’s prob in the hundreds i’ll let y’all know when i declutter

19. followers- 98 woohoo so close to my lil 100 celebration yay!

20. average hours of sleep- about 6-7 because i’m usually up reading all night to slow my thoughts

21. lucky number- 4! i like the neatness of an even square and it was my dads jersey in college all american sports as well as my childhood jersey number

22. instruments i play- none UGH. i wish i did so badly so i want to learn piano soon. in another life i’m writing songs like crazy i promise y’all but in this one i dance

23. what am i wearing- a navy cotton pajama set from old navy! super comfy

24. dream job- if we’re going dream dream then any kind of performer. a singer-actress-dancer triple threat is basically my childhood dream but i’m focused on dance and writing moreso now. gosh i just wish i could sing. actually being a full time fiction author is my dream job i just thought about it

25. dream trip- hmm probably where i am now in north carolina with family! not far or out of the country but the coast (emerald isle mainly is my safe place)

26. favorite food- fruit smoothies idk if those count but i drink them every day

27. nationality- american! but my race is mixed (black/african american and white)

28. favorite song- of all time?? ooh that’s rough but maybe mother earth by banks

29. last book read- the lies they tell! i forget the author but it’s a ya fiction i loved from my local library. reminds me of thoroughbreds and i have a post lined up about that next

30. top three fictional universes- prince edward island of anne of green gables, narnia, tkc/riordanverse even though those are rooted in myths and cultural truths

tagging some moots and anyone who sees this if you wanna do it!! @royalpenelope @haleymalaffey @juliesdahlias

[bobasheebaby]

If i think of what this place used to be and what it is now i really wanna know. do people read fics anymore? it feels like if you're not into trr, you might as well not write which is sad because there are so many other good books to explore and so many talented writers get ignored because everyone just wants to promote their friends. I feel like leaving cause i don't have a place here. Why spend free time writing if no one likes your shit?

It certainly is different than when I came two years ago. Then TRR was somewhere around book 3 right before it started, ES was still updating, we were on the Sophomore and we had so many less books that it wasn’t like writers were stretched thin. We had some others but those were the big updating books, and they all were popular and all had amazing fics written for them.

I think we have three major problems we are dealing with.

1) Tumblr.

The tags barely work. People aren’t being notified. I know I used to get emails for every tag and I would save them so I’d remember to find them later. But then there are people who aren’t getting notified at all.

And let’s not forget that Tumblr keeps changing the rules for the search which makes things more complicated than it needs to be. We used to be able to have links to our Masterlists and tag in the fic and still be found in the search, for a long time that was hiding you.

I was checking for a friend last week and found things I had just posted with links and tags in the search under the tags I used, so hopefully that issue is gone, but we still aren’t getting all our notifications which is hurting us, big time.

2) Too much, too fast.

I love that we are getting new genres and new books but the pace that PB is rolling them out is actually a really big factor in the amount of fics we are seeing for certain books.

Think about it, if you have five books you love, two ideas to write for each, but only time to write three of the stories you are more likely to write for the books that are getting more attention first even if they are older and a more saturated market. We know there is interest in those books and people will read the stories, why write if no one is reading?

So in a way the fact that we are getting so many new books at once is killing our creativity because we still have lives to tend to and can’t write every idea we get.

3) The readers.

Yes I’m calling out the readers cause I’ve noticed that there are so many less reblogs then there used to be.

Likes are nice, but most people have them hidden. If no one can see what you like what is the point of it?

Also unlike AO3 we don’t know every time someone clicked on our fic, so we only know someone read it by a like, reblog, or comment. If people are ghost reading we have no clue and then we feel like we aren’t creating quality content and that’s why no one is reading. But the problem really is that less and less people are reblogging stories they love.

Hell send your favorite writer a few asks and tell them how much their stories mean to you. If they have anon on you can do it that way. Seriously a nice note in our inboxed makes our day.

Want to reblog but have zero words? Use gifs, key smash, put your thoughts in the tags, say ‘omg I love this so much I’m speechless’ because that is worth something too. I love love love when I get long winded comments on my reblogs, but knowing that I made someone speechless feels just as good. I love the tag and gif comments and sometimes those small things say more than a long essay on what you thought about the fic.

There are a few things I can suggest to help out your fellow writers and even yourself.

1) Always reblog your own work.

I know it’s feels needy but Tumblr is worldwide and timezone reblogs are needed especially since notifications suck.

Thank your readers for reblogging, let them know you value them.

2) Make recommendation posts.

This is something I have done in the past and need to get back into but I’m horribly behind. @mfackenthal also does it, anyone can and the more of us doing this the better.

What did you read the past week that you can’t gush about enough? Make a post, link the Masterlist (I know it’s work but it helps so much) and tag the author. Not only are you telling all your followers hey I love X but you are telling them too.

See someone who just started writing and they are incredible but only have three notes? Reblog them, and then recommend them. Seriously it helps.

3) REBLOG WHAT YOU LOVE.

Sorry for the yelling but I can’t say this enough. I say it all the time. I’ve seen people complaining that their dash is dead and no one is writing anymore but the problem is that people are no longer reblogging. So many of the people I love I found from someone else reblogging.

I have a little over 400 blogs I follow and most of them I found from reblogs. That is how I found so many of the writers I love and follow. So do them a favor and reblog and help them get seen. Trust me you aren’t annoying and the author loves you gushing and loves that you are singing their praises.

I’m super behind but always down to be tagged by someone new. I will mention that I never got into AME, BSC, ATV, Save the Date so I would not be a good person to tag in those but I’m mostly open to any pairing, hell I’m the person who put Bastien with Olivia, I don’t mind crack pairs (within reason, I can’t do Connie or Regina, or Neville or Madeline).

Holy shit, sorry for the ten page essay Nonny. Hope all this helps and that you stick out our fandom.

[firelxdykatara]

Hey, so I was wondering, how can we know if you’re ignoring an ask, haven’t gotten to it yet, or have forgotten about it and we should resend it like you once suggested? If you’re ignoring it for whatever reason how do we know not to resend it and pester you with it? Also are there any topics you’re uncomfortable getting asks about or are just sick of talking about so we know not to do that anymore? I know some people are sick of talking about discourse for example or find some things triggering

Honestly, unless the ask that was sent to me was hateful and vitriolic (I occasionally respond to anon hate, but sometimes I just don’t have the spoons for it, and I’ve gotten some truly disgusting and triggering asks before [like the ‘graphic depictions of what i wish would happen to you’ sort] that I deleted immediately because I didn’t want to subject my followers to having to see it), chances are good I’m not purposefully ignoring it.

The exception tends to be submissions, especially when it’s just links to posts--submissions are unwieldy and difficult to respond to because it’s hard to delineate between what was submitted and my response, and I don’t tend to appreciate being used like some kind of an attack dog to respond to someone else’s posts, especially if they’re particularly old (someone was sending me links to meta posts from like five years ago for a while, and I just kind of quietly ignored them). That said, I’ll usually check out the post in question and sometimes it’ll trigger my need to wordvomit, but I’m more likely to respond if it was sent as a regular ask rather than a submission cause I’m lazy and asks are easier.

As far as things I’m uncomfortable with or sick of--not really? At least not fandom-related--I don’t care to get into political discourse (you’ll notice I very rarely reblog politics on this blog), but just about anything fandom-related I don’t mind rehashing, and when I do I’ll make a post about it. (For example, I’m still getting people sending, usually via submission, bits of anti ironwood meta from RWBY and I’m just not interested in getting into it any longer, because that fandom in particular is allergic to nuance and I don’t believe any of it is being sent to me in good faith. In that case, though, I made a post about it. That’s the only example I can think of, though, of things I just don’t feel like talking about anymore.) In general, especially when it comes to things I’m salty about, I’m always willing to open those floodgates--but sometimes when I first get the asks I don’t have the energy to dive in at that moment, and then time passes and I forget to go back for it.

In any event, if it’s been more than a day or two since an ask was sent to me and the asker is still hoping for an answer, please do send it again! Seeing it pop up again in my inbox will remind me that I got this ask before, and let me know that someone is still waiting around looking for an answer (there are some asks I keep wanting to go back to but then I’m like ‘this was sent anonymously they probably aren’t even looking at my blog anymore’), and when I get doubles like that I do try to respond! I won’t feel pestered, unless (and this has happened before) you send the same as like five times in as many hours, at which point I feel like I’m being trolled and am more likely to ignore the ask just for spite.

Some asks take me longer to get to than others because I have a lot of Words to say, and sometimes I wind up getting halfway through a response and then save it as a draft so I don’t lose it and then kind of forget its there, so getting the ask again would remind me to finish it!

EDIT: Oh, something I forgot to mention--sometimes I get really lovely messages, and sometimes I respond to anon or off-anon love but sometimes I leave it in my inbox because I like having something nice to look at without having to dig through my asked tag for it, and it gives me the warm fuzzies inside. Please know that if you’ve ever sent me a nice message, even if I didn’t publicly respond to it, I saw it and it probably made me cry with happy feelings, and I love you for it <3333

[volturi-or-die]

Crazed: Chapter 1- Trials

Previous Chapter: Prologue

Next Chapter: Chapter 2- Losses

Point of View: Alec

Word Count: 1617

Warnings: Cursing

10 Days Later

I knocked softly upon the bedroom door but was rewarded with nothing but silence. I knocked once more and met with the same silence. What could possibly be wrong?

“Minalia?”

Nothing. Was something wrong? Was she injured? Impulsively, I slammed the door open and saw her jolt up out of bed with a scream. 

“What the fuck Alec!” Her eyes were angry, her black hair particularly disheveled, and her own blankets in a disarray as she grabbed at them to cover herself. I turned away, embarrassed at the situation that has transpired. “Well answer me. Don’t just stand there looking dumb.”

“Pardon me, I wanted to ensure you were alive when you did not answer my knocking.” 

She let out what I could only assume was an exasperated sigh. “You know that I have a heartbeat right?” I felt ridiculous for rushing into this situation so quickly without properly assessing it. Before I could apologize she spoke again, “Wait a second. Alec do you know what time it is?” 

I dared not face her yet, but stared at the wall as I replied. “Yes it is approximately 6 in the morning.” I felt a pillow hit the back of my head, causing me to turn around. “What was that for?”

Her eyes flashed purple, the anger setting in them. “Why, the honest hell, are you waking me up an hour and a half before sunrise?”

“To train,” I replied as I picked up the pillow she threw and placed it back on her bed. 

She glared at me incredulously, “You’re kidding right?” I glanced up at her to see her registering what she has grown to learn in the months worth of our acquaintance, I do not find training a joking matter. 

She groaned and fell back down into the pillows, letting her hair fall around her while placing her hands over her face. “You know, you’re truly insufferable sometimes.” 

“So you have said.” I jostled her a little in an attempt to get her out of bed. “I’m testing a theory.” 

She peeked at me from between her fingers. “What theory?” 

“I was curious if the time of day has influence over your abilities.” 

“I doubt it,” she said before taking a pillow and covering her face. “Now, can I go back to sleep?”

I sat down at her feet and gently tugged the pillow from her hands. “I know it is not a very sound theory,” I explained softly, “but it is something we should attempt.”

She kept her eyes closed as she took a deep breath in. She was frustrated. I understood it all too well. Here we were over a week since being marooned and no progress had been made. 

The goal of being sent here together was for Mina to fully be able to control her abilities, but it was difficult to control something that she could not transform into. It had been weeks since that night outside of Volterra. I could recall everything in such vivid detail, although there were certain pains I could only wish to forget. 

Now, Minalia’s jaguar exterior had yet to be seen again. I understood her frustration to a certain degree, for the lack of results were not from a lack of trying. With her life on the line, her desperation began to get the better of her. We did not have a long time to make much progress, but progress would need to be made to ensure her safety along with a place among the guard. If she wanted to live, we had to keep trying.

If I did not want to be the one to kill her, we had to keep trying. It was the thing I resented about being here the most. That was the deal though, a punishment of sorts, if I was the one to risk saving her, then I would be the one to end this if it failed. 

“Aright. You’re right. We can give it a try,” she said with little hope in her voice. 

I got up and let her get ready for the day as I made my way into the small kitchen. I sat down and began to work on the  laptop that I had while waiting for Mina to get down here.  I glanced at the emails within my inbox, but nothing was notable. Demetri and Felix were persistent in recounting their activities each day, but other than that I had not received anything of note. I had not heard from Jane since I left, but I knew that whatever information she would have she would not share with me now. 

According to one of Felix’s daily diaries, she had departed a few days ago with Demetri. If it is what I believed it to be, then they were on their way to find Stefan. There would be no way to communicate with them for days. 

A few moments later, Mina emerged from her room in athletic clothing and her hair pulled up in a bun. She retrieved a bowl from the cupboard along with some cereal and milk and proceeded to eat her breakfast. She ate slowly, as if almost to antagonize me for disturbing her slumber. I was about to question her actions when I noticed the dark circles under eyes that were not present the days before. 

Lack of sleep could not be the cause of that. Regardless of waking her up at this hour, she was fast asleep last night by sometime around 10, and even my limited knowledge of human-or humanesque- physiology told me that was plenty of time to sleep.

“You got something to say Mr. Alarm Clock or are you just going to continue staring?” 

“Are you okay?”

Mina appeared startled by my question. “Yeah…” she answered with a slight suspicion. She put the bowl in the sink and began to wash it. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. It is your eyes, or more precisely the darkened circles under them.” Mina finished up and went to the mirror in the hallway to examine my observation. “Have you been sleeping well?”

Mina huffed and came back into the kitchen. “Yeah. I’m fine,” she said curtly as she began to put the food away. I stood and placed my hand on her arm. 

“You do not need to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying. I’m fine.” She loosened herself out of my grip and put the milk on the fridge shelf. 

“Mina, please. If something is bothering you, then it needs to be addressed.” She looked up and faced me, hesitation still clear on her expression. “It could impact your training.” 

At this she scoffed and rolled her eyes and turned away from me. “For a split second,” she began with ice dripping from her voice, “I forgot that’s the only thing you care about.” 

I followed her as she made her way into the living room, grabbing her bag and putting her sneakers on. Why must she behave in this manner? I simply wanted to help her and ensure that she would be at peak performance to go through training. 

“Minalia please,” I called out following her out the door and into the woods. 

“Oh give me a break Alec. Let’s just get this over with so I can disappoint you once more.” 

She would not be reasoned with, not in this state. If she did not wish to share, then I would not proceed with the intended session for today. I would not help those that did not want to receive any assistance. If she would so choose to die, then that would be solely her decision. 

I turned and made my way back up the path to the house. I departed to the library and picked up the collection of Lord Byron’s poems to continue from earlier in the morning. 

It was an hour later when I heard the main door open. I heard her stop short in the doorway of the library. 

“Nightmares.” 

I looked up from my book and gestured for her to continue. 

“I’ve had nightmares. I had a really bad one last night and didn’t get any sleep. Are you satisfied now? Can we go out there and actually train?” She placed her hands on her hips, expectantly.

I found myself temporarily lost in a memory, a cafe in Volterra only a few weeks ago. Mina was across from me sharing the details of her life, the first true conversation that we had that did not result in either of us feeling disdain towards each other. She spoke of the jaguar, the one with its large eyes and ferocious snarl.

“The very same ones you spoke of?”  

She shook her head, “Not quite. I’m not looking at it anymore. I am it.”

Realization dawned on me as I pieced her cryptic message together. She became her nightmare. Her nightmare was her reality. 

“Is this your fear?” 

She took a deep breath, “Listen Alec. I really don’t wanna get into it right now okay. Can we please just go train? They haunt me badly enough when I’m asleep, the last thing I need is to devote my consciousness to it too.” 

I surrendered to her wishes. I placed the book aside and guided her out into the woods. At present, I would not bring it up, but there was a suspicion within me that this was the path I should follow to reach the success she sought out. There had to be answers within her dreams, but I could not wait for her to find them herself. 

The sun began to creep through the foliage. With each passing day, we were running out of time.

--

Tagged: @volturisecretary @alecvolturi @phil-dwyer-stan-account @janes-eyebrows @felixs-main-ho @lamiafantasia

[pikapeppa]

Happy New Year’s Eve 2019!

Dear friends and followers: HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE!!!

I wanted to write a thank-you post and name everyone who made an impact on me this year, but... gods, we would be here all night if I even tried, and I’m certain I would forget someone. So I’ll just throw down some feels and hope you all see yourselves somewhere in this post.

To my reader friends: 

Guys, I just... you’re everything. Your comments, likes, reblobs, the times you appeared in my inbox or on Discord quoting my shit and screaming at me, the emojis and the asks and all the fucking love? You bring me so much joy and it’s my honour to share my word vomit with you. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: your feedback and your love mean more than you will ever know. I have been inspired by you, written ships or ideas or fics I would never have thought of without you, been encouraged to keep going when I was going to give up, and changed my mind entirely about plot points because of you. If ever you think that your presence or commentary doesn’t matter, you are wrong. You matter, your feedback matters, and my life is incredibly enriched by the friends I’ve made through my writing. THANK YOU. 

To my writer friends: 

YOU GUYS ARE A FUCKING INSPIRATION. I do not read nearly as much as your works as I want to, and I hope to fix that in 2020, but every writing meme you tag me in makes me so excited to even get a glimpse of what you’re working on and the workings of your beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful minds. Writing can be fucking HARD sometimes, and sometimes it can be discouraging when our work doesn’t get the love we hoped, but we’re all in this together because we love it. Never forget what brought you into your story in the first place, and hold that close in your heart. Keep on keeping on, keep sharing your blurbs and tagging me because I LOVE SEEING THEM, and we will push forth into another new year of words words words!

To my artist friends: 

I AM IN AWE OF ALL OF YOU. HOLY FUCK. This has been a crazy year for me because I made a lot of artist friends who are incredibly talented, many of whom MADE FAN ART FOR ME JUST BECAUSE THEY FELT LIKE IT, AND I’M JUST HERE LIKE:

SERIOUSLY I AM JUST A KREACHER AND YOU MADE ME AN ART?? FUCK OFF I LOVE YOU. I literally fangirl over you guys. I’ve spent literal hours staring at your art, saving it to my phone, staring some more, pondering the wonder that is life that makes people have such talented and HARD-WORKING hands that let them create such beautiful work. Every WIP you post is a thrill. It’s a fascinating joy to watch you guys drawing in real-time and watching that creation actually happen before my humble eyes. There’s no greater honour than thinking that my work was inspiring enough for you to want to create something in response. I’ve watched so many artist friends growing and pushing forward with their art and trying new things and I'm just so fucking proud to know you guys and to see your progression. Here’s to another year of feasting my eyeballs on your amazing work - every single one of you. 

To the friends who make me fucking laugh:

Me, writing: sophisticated vocabulary and thought and emotional depth. Love and grey areas of morality and angst.  Me, not writing: DICK IN A BOX IS STILL FUNNY DON’T @ ME

To the friends who don’t fit into the categories above: you probably fall into this category, AND BE ASSURED THAT THIS IS A SPECIAL CATEGORY INDEED. YOU BETTER KNOW WHO YOU ARE. SERIOUSLY THOUGH I CAN BE A STUPIT IDIOT and there are a handful of you guys who have made me laugh so fucking hard on the reg and I fucking love it. It’s hard for me to feel comfortable talking to people, but finding people with the same sense of humour is the quickest way for me to go from feeling like an awkward potato to FEELING LIKE A STUPIT FUN POTATO WITH FRIENDS so this is a special shout-out to those of you who have made me fucking laugh this year. I LOVE YOU.

To the silent followers: 

I see you. I SEE YOU, I SWEAR I DO. It’s okay if you’re shy! It’s okay if you’re just here for the art reblobs! Thanks for hanging out and enjoying my content, and I hope you’ll continue to enjoy in the year to come! ❤️ 

To everyone:

May you reach your goals, whatever they might be. May you forgive yourself if you don’t quite achieve what you had set out to do. May you cherish the small joys in order to tolerate the bigger trials that life will inevitably bring your way. 

May you bare your blade and raise it high.

Benefaris to all!! 

- Love, from your friendly neighbourhood Pikapeppa xoxo