#sometimes i feel so bad for the other mercs bc it is VERY OBVIOUS i have a favorite

[multiheadcanons]

TF2 MERCS AND MUSIC

scout: scout, as we know, loves tom jones. he’d probably also be an elvis guy. but that’s not what i’m here to talk about, frankly. i’m here to talk about how scout is the team’s sole music influence. anything the team discovers past like… the 80s scout put them on. and scout gives anything at least one listen. he’s actually got an s tier music taste. knows exactly what to recommend to each of his team members, except snipes. he never knows what to do with that guy. making active attempts to listen to more classical, though will naturally opt for 70s pop. he loves elton john. also loves tom cardy. blasts mixed messages. on his really shitty days, both the enemy team and his own team taunt him with this stupid fucking song, he has no idea where they came up with it; but when he’s getting his shit rocked everyone follows him around yelling “my name is the scout. doc. i need some healing. scout. that is my name. scout. i want another. scout. where is my baaaaaaall? i’m running out of the spawn; there is a booooooomb, and it is gonna hit me—” AND THEN THEY KILL HIM AGAIN. that shit pisses him off so much.

soldier: this man was wrecked when he heard the news of karen carpenter. the day scout showed him the carpenters he was gobbling it up. when he’s not listening to straight up “women still don’t have credit cards” doo-wop, he opts for what he calls the hippie dippie shit, it’s a guilty pleasure. love hates the beatles. loves a lady with a nice voice. demo put him on the proclaimers. he’ll listen to them when he misses his bud. really enjoys christmas music!

pyro: pyro is a white knight swiftie and nothing will ever change that, bar her like… purposefully running over puppies. in the pit five times during rep tour. CRUSHED when loverfest got canceled. LOVES their pop girlies. loves all the girlies, really! has NEVER been a barb and will never BE a barb. is an active member of stan twitter. is the kind to harass you aggressively online if they don’t agree with you. has a very long dni list. is blocked by many people. spy won’t help them dox people.

demo: demo loves the proclaimers and jazz in all its forms. god, he loves jazz so much. regular attendee of jazz clubs. brings his own drinks, just goes for the music. goes to jazz open mics. also loves sade. he adores that woman. does the old man two step when he’s really getting into a song, and if someone’s in in the room with them he will urge them to dance with him. if you don’t know what the old man two step is, it is a very effective dance move. you do a wide two step with your elbows out. it is not an old man two step if your elbows are any less than a 45 degree angle from your body. scout put him on thundercat and his life has never been the same. will drunkenly scream sing dragonball durag. he’s an appreciator of hemlocke springs.

engineer: obviously engie loves country. he’s from texas. but here’s the thing about him; he is a strange elitist and HATES covers. he will not listen to a cover, he wants to hear the person who wrote it sing the song. has a stupid amount of random country facts floating through his head at all times. tries to bond with pyro through what he knows about country taylor swift but pyro knows everything there is to know about her. pyro is actually the one to educate him about taylor swift. pyro appreciates the attempt though. they ate up red tv together. engie tried really hard to deny the fact that he was tearing up to all too well but pyro placed a hand on his shoulder, paused the track, and said “it’s okay to cry.” like a cult initiation. and frankly that was it. “it’s just so well done.” he mumbled. and pyro supported him through it. also LOVES tracy chapman. he has cried to fast car a couple times. loves all his country girls. carrie underwood being an anti-vaxxer threw him off though.

heavy: heavy is an opera nut. his favorite is the nose by shostakovich. has taken medic and anyone else who’s interested to any opera he can find within five hours of them. will go on AT LENGTH if allowed about it. picked up on the old man two step from demo. has found a great appreciation for hozier. oh he eats that irishman up actually. finds him to be a prolific, unsung poet of the modern day. he told scout this; said his favorite song was eat your young. scout said “oh the take me to church guy, didn’t peg you for the yearning lover type. noted”. medic heard that, gave the song a listen, came back, and stared heavy down the rest of the day. his face was unreadable. he never asked who he could possibly relate that to. and heavy did that on purpose. it was so hard for him to keep a straight face, the second he got to his room that night, he tried so hard to remain quiet, but his laughter echoed through the base. has a signed unreal unearth on accident. he thought he was just buying the regular cd. also a supporter of npr. he’s got the mug and the tote.

sniper: snipes is a genuine “i’ll listen to anything” person. he prefers podcasts anyway. he’s got a favorite song in any genre you can think of, and no interest in listening to music outside of the one “favorite song” slot per genre. there’s only like, three songs he actually ever wants to listen to when he has the itch though. and you bet your ass down under is one of them. he’s got an old walkman with cassettes that he recorded his favorite songs on over the years. he’s got maybe seven, eight of those cassettes total. he’s got some crazy live performances on there that nobody would believe for a day sniper was at. but he’ll tell you go look up pictures in the crowd, and you’ll find him everytime by his hat. this doesn’t mean he doesn’t listen to music; he just never goes out of his way to pick anything. he’s open to everything. me, personally, i think snipes would enjoy distractible. he’d find them humorous. probably listens to like…. critical and strategic dnd podcasts abt how to build encounters and craft dungeons.

medic: DEFINITELY a rave kid. made a POINT to go to the brat concert. team was just down a doctor while he went on holiday. told everyone to not die while he was gone. i mean, come on. go look at him. right now. you don’t even have to look at the fanart, you can go watch meet the medic, or literally look at his face in any panel of the comics. i’ll wait right here. welcome back. you saw that face, right? at all angles? that is the face of a young man from a time past who went by “DJDEADDOVE” and stole from the hospital he worked at in his mid twenties to sell drugs at raves and frame the intern on duty. his buyers LOVED him. you want to tell me that man DOESN’T listen to techno? you mean to tell me his synapses don’t function to erratic cracks of static and his heart is not fueled by a steady drum? you’re insane. a hard beat always takes him back to the good old days. back when he was a young man and the world was his to conquer! loves seeing the rave scene nowadays, but he doesn’t think he’s got energy like that anymore. ach! the days! how they pass!

spy: spy prefers silence most of the time. but there was one song he had a spiritual experience with. scout played fireflies by owl city offhandedly and it altered spy’s mindset, genuinely. he has never listened to it since. otherwise, he will take one (1) quiet instrument solo at a very low volume. hates brass instruments. the woodwinds can also fuck off. he will take a string instrument. percussions can stay but they’re on thin ice. he just likes to be able to hear his surroundings. when people ask him what his favorite song is he says 4’33” by john cage.

[midnight-circus]

another bullshit meme

from sidebloggable

answered for logan and lucius bc i dont talk about my big dumb idiot enough

and im actually gonna answer for their original Fable timeline bc ive been feelin nostalgic recently

Their physical weak spots

Logan - depends on his age and/or stress-levels. He has a fair amount of upper body strength from swinging twin swords around all the fucking time, but it wouldn’t be ridiculously hard to overpower him if you could disarm and get hold of him - however, he’s fast, agile and extremely skilled, and it’s getting hold of him in the first place that’s the issue. In the middle of his reign, on the other hand, his body condition takes a dramatic dive - he’s pretty severely underweight and loses a lot of his muscle tone, and it really wouldn’t take much at all to best him. 

Lucius - Lucius is a big, heavy mercenary who fights with a broadsword, so it’s hard to get the best of him in a one-to-one melee fight. However, he’s missing his left eye and is deaf in his left ear - subsequently if you use a little bit of stealth and come at him hard and fast from the left, you’ve got a pretty good chance of getting the jump on him. He’s also into middle-age and despite having decent reactions, a younger man of the same build as him might just pip him to the post.

Their emotional/moral weak spots

Logan - oh god lmao. Logan’s a mess, but his primary emotional weak spot is his siblings - be they his original two (hey queenie and dorian) or Morgan. I think he feels a bond that’s closer to paternal than fraternal, and I think the only way he can really justify to himself the pain he puts them through is telling himself he’s doing it for them. ok honestly, he will do fucking anything for them. at the climax of the revolution, the primary thought running through his head is how fucking proud he is. be nice if he said it out loud every once a while - hell, itd be nice if he’d just asked for some fuckin help before causing the literal death of hundreds of people - but yknow. thats just going one step too far i guess

Lucius - he’s a bleeding heart. when Morgan and his little band of rebels rock up in the Dweller village, Lucius is already there running supplies up and down the mountain to them; he watches way too many kids starve to death, and joins up with the rebels in order to lead them through Mourningwood. then he gets a crush on morgan’s little bitch face and just like. never leaves lmao. He’s easily blinded by injustice and gets worked up really quickly when he sees wrong being done - it can lead him to act recklessly or thoughtlessly at times.

Scars or painful spots

Logan - asides from the obvious scars across his lips (fencing wounds when he was a boy), he took some nasty damage from the Crawler during the three days he was trapped in the Auroran cave - he’s got a network of scars on his back that look a little like lashmarks. they hurt when they’re touched and he Does Not talk about them. he’s also got a few other scars here and there on his arms and chest from miscellaneous scraps and scuffles, and he has a deep puncture scar on his abdomen from an assassination attempt, but the less said about those the better.

Lucius - lmao Lucius is literally missing half his face to scar-tissue. he was attacked by a dog as a boy and it left him heavily messed-up. he’s also a merc, as i said, so he’s got a lot of miscellaneous old wounds but nothing quite as obvious as the ones his face. 

Best places to kiss on their body

Logan - oh, the neck, bitch. he’s also kind of a slut for being kissed on the insides of his wrists; anywhere vulnerable, basically. if you could kill him there, kiss him there. freak-ass bitch.

Lucius - dude just likes a nice traditional french kiss man nothing crazy. but also definitely give him a blowjob. i know this question said kissing but lets be real thats kind of a kiss.

Guilty pleasures

Logan - he reads really terrible novels. like…really terrible. he pretends he’s reading something highbrow and intellectual but its actually a shitty romance recovered with something suitably acceptable and nobody can know

Lucius - he doesnt have any ‘guilty’ pleasures tbh, he just enjoys stuff unashamedly. he’s too thick to feel guilty

Their vices (physical or emotional)

Logan - lets be real, he’s probably done, like. an impressive amount of coke. i guess the terrible sleeping and eating habits are probably also a vice but like. it’s mainly the coke

Lucius - he smokes like a fuckin chimney

Their tickle spots

Logan - not only does he not have any, but you would also die for trying. Elrick disagrees.

Lucius - his ribs, but he is uncontrollably violent when he’s tickled so its a real good way to get a broken nose. he doesn’t mean to do it, he just spasms. 

Bad memories/experiences

Logan - lmao. I’ll skip the most obvious (the 3-Day Auroran Extravaganza) because i think that goes without saying - it left him with crippling PTSD and damaged his mind heavily and insidiously. he was already pretty traumatised by his childhood and i think being forced into so many responsibilities so young also messed him up a little. it’s more like….rather one one or two specific experiences, its more just a general feeling of Bad that has stuck with him throughout his life. It was worsened by his later experiences, and essentially primed him for failure.

Lucius - yknow i was thinking about how to word the answer to this question and i realised that i accidentally made Lucius into Batman. His family farm was attacked and burnt to the ground by bandits when he was about 12; his parents and siblings were killed, and he only escaped by hiding in the coal-cellar. Later, he joined up with the mercenaries to try and track down the group that targeted them. fuck hes batman. i didnt mean to batman

Humiliating memories

Logan - oh man his father was a pro at humiliation. mistakes or oversights werent just punished, they were fuckin learned from, and he figured the best way to do this was humiliation - generally through public displays of What You Did Wrong and repeated recitations of the mistake in front of the people whose opinions Logan valued. It was kind of the catalyst for his inferiority complex and intense desire to succeed without input from others. 

Lucius - again, Lucius doesn’t really experience embarrassment - he’s kind of too laid-back for it. yes, it was embarrassing the one time he fell over carrying two milk buckets and threw them all over himself in front of the handsome boy from the next farm over and the guy started laughing at him but like. you live and learn and the dude turned out to have a really ugly laugh anyway so who cares

Fears/phobias

Logan - he’s always had claustrophobia, but after the Auroran Experience this intensifies to a whole new level, and he also develops crippling nyctophobia. part of this is due to his hallucinatory psychosis - he sees things pretty much constantly, but it worsens in low lighting - but it’s also due to the fact that there may very well be actual Things in the dark and he struggles to tell reality from hallucination

Lucius - dogs. fuckin dogs. he hates dogs theyre literally so scary even the small ones bc the small ones move so quick and you never know when theyre gonna come at you

Bad or petty habits

Logan - oh, he’s just a petty bitch. he’s also outwardly arrogant, even if his internal feelings don’t match up to that. drily sarcastic, too, tho a person only really sees that when they get past the walls he throws up - Elrick is very familiar with it. 

Lucius - he’s constantly standing to the right-hand side of people and then he wonders why he cant hear them properly

Grudges and vendettas

Logan - he’d hold a grudge against his father if he wasnt dead. he also holds a pretty heavy grudge against Theresa for not just fucking telling him.

Lucius - at first, only against the bandits that killed his family, but once he deals with them hes kind of at a loss as to where to go next. fortunately Logan starts starving people shortly afterwards, so if nothing else it gives him a kickstart into the rest of his life. Subsequently, Lucius will hold a vendetta against Logan for the rest of his life, even after he has been in a relationship with Morgan for years - he will never forgive him for the shit he put the common people through, and he doesnt really give a shit about the ~pressures~ Logan was under at the time. fuckin excuses, man. 

Ingrained habits/forces of habit

Logan - his terrible sleeping/eating patterns. even before trauma and night-terrors made it almost impossible for him to sleep peacefully, he didn’t get more than 5 or 6 hours a night, if that.

Lucius - if something is smaller than him, he’ll protect it. he’ll also protect things bigger than him, if given half the chance. hes basically a golden retriever in human form, which is ironic considering his feelings about dogs.

What it takes to make them cry

Logan - would rather die than cry, quite literally.

Lucius - his heart is softer than butter, he’ll cry at anything. he’ll cry at an injured pigeon on the street. 

Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

Logan - never, ever, ever talks about what happened in Aurora. The details die with him.

Lucius - he doesn’t really have any - he’s not ashamed of much in his life, and he’s never done anything terrible enough to render it a skeleton. 

People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them

Logan - L M A O. yes, it affected him terribly, but tbqh however much its affected him kind of plays second fiddle to how much his actions affected other people.

Lucius - has killed a lot of people who deserved it during his mercenary years, and justifies it to himself by being absolutely certain that they did deserve it. sometimes he doubts this, though, and that doubt plays a big part in his eventually getting out of the game entirely

People who’ve influenced them greatly

Logan - Walter, tho he’ll never admit it in a million years and he still definitely kneecapped him right at the start of the game so idk what that says about him

Lucius - Morgan. it’s real gay, i know, but there it is.