#sometimes family is a tyrant (his love language: cage)

[towerartt]

DECREATION ARIA

Borderlands // Borderlands 2 // Borderlands 3 // decreation (An Opera in Three Parts), Anne Carson // The Prophecy (1995) // Autobiography of Red, Anne Carson // Rick Barba, The Worlds of Borderlands // Book of Revelation 9:11 // Harlan Ellison, I have no mouth and I must scream

[nebraska-is-a-myth]

My Eret Headcanons

These are just my headcannons for C!Eret and the potential of them being a descendent of herobrine and what that could entail for his and Philza’s relationship. This keeps me up at night thinking about it, so you can read this and suffer with me. 

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Eret met philza first out of them all.

It was a long long time ago when Phil was known as the fearless young warrior that had been the first to slay the mighty dragon. Before he had retired to become a shitty father.

They had met in the void: Phil was on the hunt for herobrine, determined to put a stop to the terror he and his army inflicted onto the overworld, and Eret had been born there, alone. When Eret was younger he remembers wandering alone in the void. Their family had cast them out a few days ago for something they honestly can't even remember, but they knew they could never return. The void was nice, it was calming. Eret was neither warm nor cold, neither hungry or full, she could feel sleep calling to her, but her legs strode on nonetheless. The void was known for being endless and bland, numbness seeped into his every being with each breath. Walking for eternity was an option Eret had been avoiding for some time now. But then Phil had appeared from the endless mist and he had been so kind, offering warm touches and happy smiles. Nothing Eret had experienced back home. Eret hadn't understood Phil back then, not yet being exposed to the language of the overworld. But when Phil held out a map that looked similar to the grand fortress of the void, Eret had paled and shook their head frantically. Phil had calmed the small creature enough to understand that their panicked whimpers had been a warning. Eret had only been a small child back then, so they clung to Phil’s leg when he started walking towards the direction of the palace, ignoring Erets incomprehenable blabbering. Phil was confused at first, but continued on walking when the little creature wouldn't detach itself from him. When Phil had gotten more uncomfortable, he shifted Eret onto his back with a little protest from the child. On the small journey, Phil had started to try and teach the little child a few touches of English. Eret had learnt how to say “philza” with a little difficulty, and Eret had responded with a noise that Phil had understood as “Alastair”. Before long they arrived at the fortress and Phil could sense Erets discomfort. Instead of going through the main entrance, Eret hurriedly lead Phil to a gap in the wall of the fortress and mumbled words of encouragement to his new friend. Phil handed ‘Alastair’ a shiny golden ring from a pocket in his robe and placed it in Erets small hands with a soft smile and a comforting embrace. Eret wasn't sure what was happening at first when Phil’s arms had wrapped around them, it was warm and Phil smelled nice. Contact wasn't something anyone back home considered appropriate outside of the family home, even then it was rare. So Eret melted into the touch of phils soft arms, having not been held since they were a toddler. Eret still wasn't sure what Phil was doing, but they decided they liked it. When Phil pulled away, Eret tilted their head, hoping he would understand their confusion of the action. They watched Phils eyebrows knit together and his smile falls only for a moment before softly repeating the word “Hug”. Eret nodded, saying the word back confidently, bringing a smile to Phils face. Phil brought Eret in for another hug before standing back up and nodding. Phil had looked happy, so Eret stayed put, understanding that Phil would come back for Eret and his ring. 

After a while of waiting for philza’s return, Eret grew worried and made the decision to follow their new friend into the depths of the fortress. But by the time Eret made their way into the grand fortress, both Philza and the tyrant Herobrine that had ruled the land with an iron fist had disappeared, leaving only a glowing portal in the great hall where blood stained the floor. The whiring of the glowing portal intrigued Eret, having only seen these portals from behind heavily guarded gates where soldiers like their father had been sent off to war under the orders of Herobrine. Would it be safe if they went through? Would they be punished on the other side? Would they even survive the journey? Eret glances at the ring in their hands, the purple light of the portal glints off of the shiny metal. The ring is far too big to fit on any of Erets fingers, but Eret runs their fingertips across the beautiful inscription of what appears to be a magnificent pair of wings much like Philza’s. They cannot read the writing, but something deep down tells them that this meant something to Phil, it looks old and worn but it has memories, memories that Phil entrusted them to keep safe. Eret looks around at the big empty hall. The void was lonely, it was dark and endless, Phil had been the first soul they had seen since they had been cast out. Spending a lifetime alone was something nobody wanted, it was something Eret themselves feared the most. It’s decided then, Eret must go through the portal and find Philza, returning the golden ring to their new friend. Eret took in a deep breath of hazy void air and took a step into the swirling magic. 

For a second Eret thinks they've made a mistake. They feel like the magic is twisting their insides into slush. Their eyes flutter closed for a second, clutching onto the ring and the obsidian beside them before their being involuntarily pushed out in a bright harsh light. Erets eyes snap shut, every time they try to peel their eyelids open they feel like someone is burning a hole into the back of their head. It hurts and they don't know where they are and they can feel panic rising in their chest. They’re scared. All they can do is curl into themselves and stroke their finger over the indentations across philza’s ring. The heavy breathing goes on for a while, the feeling of loneliness once again creeping up on them. That is until they feel something press against their shoulder. They flinch as it comes in contact with their skin, fear of attack taking over their actions. The touch comes again but softer this time, in the hopes that it may be Phil they allow it to guide them into a warmer, darker place. They fall over their feet a few times, but they make it nonetheless. When the light dulls enough for them to open their eyes, fear sparks through them once again. They find himself trapped behind rusty iron bars. They’ve been locked away. No, no this can't be happening. They want to go home, to the void, anywhere but the disgusting cell that reeks of death and ash. They mutter words that the guards definitely don't understand and in retaliation they shout back in a language much harsher than Phil had used. They take to shouting Philza’s name, hoping they would recognize it or the man himself would hear them. He doesn't. Eret is alone, they don't see philza again.

At least, not until november 16th. The message on her communicator brings back memories of a place Eret had buried a long time ago, but she doesn't have time to dwell on it because in a flash the ground beneath her feet is gone and a blast sends her flying off the ground. Eret lands with a thump and a twisted ankle, but he’s sure his injuries are only minor compared to those closer to the blast. They’re a good distance away from the town center but they can see techno and tommy in the distance shouting about something that Eret cant bring themselves to listen to. Their back rests against an old spruce tree, and they sit staring at their communicator. 

Wilbur was dead.

A choked sob rises in Erets throat. There were too many thoughts racing through his head. Panicked voices scream at him that Phil is going to recognize him, that he’s going to see the light behind his sunglasses and demand for Erets exile or execution. No one else knew of her past, how she was born in the void, a hybrid pretending to fit in with the humans. The rational side of them knew that so many other people on the server were hybrids, but even then some people feared techno for his bloodlust, and bad for his demonic nature. Eret couldn't be locked in a cage again, not after she worked so hard to move on and forget her past. The fear of her past life fuels her irrationality. But Phil was never like that. No he remembers that period in the void clearly, he remembers warm hugs and soft touches, and the ring. Eret rubs his thumb over the engravings on the ring that now sits comfortably on one of his fingers and takes in a deep shallow breath. This ring had been his rock for the past however many years they spent in the overworld. Human time works different from time in the void, so it never really was their strong suit. But they remember the aching in their bones of being in uncomfortable positions for long periods, and the dirt under their fingernails after a long day of construction. Through it all Eret had their ring and memories of someone who cared for them, someone to remind them that things change, sometimes from the better and sometimes for the worse. But was that all just an illusion?

Phil had shown them kindness and compassion.

But Phil had also killed wilbur.

Everything comes crashing down on Eret all at once, the one thing stable they had in their life collapses on them and suffocates every hope they ever had. The ring burns on their finger, the metal now glinting with lies instead of promises of a better life. God they were so stupid. They knew the likeliness of ever finding Phil again were slim, let alone be remembered by the man, but that hope and longing of someone to love them kept them going all these years. And now that hope was going to be the death of them.

Eret hears the screams of Niki and his friends and pushes his worries to the back of his mind, right now he must fight for the remains of what once was his home.

That night as the fighting finally comes to an end, Eret makes a decision. He decides to distance himself from philza, not ready to face the pain of being forgotten or exiled. He wasn't particularly happy with isolating himself either, but fear does strange things to a person. 

But then ghostbur comes to him with desires of bringing back Wilbur and of course Eret will do whatever she can to bring back her friend. Sure soot may have hated her guts, but Eret wants nothing more than to hug him and feel his presence again. Not that she disliked ghostbur, but the phantom was a painful reminder of what once was and what could never be. And of course Phil wants to get involved with the resurrection of his son, of course he does, so Eret pretends he doesn't know Phil past what others had said about the man in passing conversation. Phil seemingly does the same, referencing so kindly how “Alivebur had resented him” and for a second Eret thinks they’re going be found out, that their time is up. But it never happens, Phil remains oblivious and Eret is constantly on edge.

It’s gotten to the point where Erets anxiety completely takes over and before they know it they’re at Technos arctic base and Ranboo is whispering something into Phils ear.

“I can't in good conscience let you onto this property Eret.”

No no please, Eret needs to do this, Eret needs to do something good, they need to get wilbur back. They need to..

“You're a king, and kings have power over others. It’s nothing personal.”

It is personal, they know it is, it's what they all say. Phil doesn't trust them, ranboo dosent trust them. They need to prove themselves, they have to, they can't be alone again. They just can't. 

Maybe, maybe if she shows phil her eyes, if she reminded phil of the times before the smp, the times before nations and wars and sides. Before any of this where Eret wasn't the traitorous king and Phil was still the angel of death. Maybe Phil would remember Alastair, the child who helped him in another lifetime, the child he made a promise to, a promise to keep them safe. 

So Eret takes a chance, he takes a chance with Ranboo, deciding to trust the Enderman hybrid, and he takes a chance with phil. She takes off her glasses, her crown tumbling down into the snow after them, and she pleads with Phil to let her help. She pleads not to be left alone again. 

But Phil looks right through them. He stares into their whitened eyes and pushes them away just like everyone else, whispering jokes to Ranboo as Eret walks away with tears rolling down their cheeks. The promise made all that time ago had meant nothing to the man who Eret yearned for the most, they were left alone with nothing but a ring and false promises once again. Eret may have thought themselves unlovable and helpless in that moment, but they knew they still had a duty to his friend. To the boy who needed a father most. She was going to get Wilbur back, not for herself, not for Phil, not for l’manburg, but for Fundy. So Eret wipes her tears and sets off for snowchester, Eret could prove to Phil she was worth something, that she was worth remembering. 

Eret had met Philza first out of them all, but Phil was the first to forget them.

[mayacatmaster]

“Student”(solar): “My Master, in this world...how many people living in DOG/Sheep RULES world and how many people their will become a non-player in their vibrational balance by don’t kiss any kind of dark-tyrant-ruler-ass?

No matter of it’s on religion/morality/political/country/social/family/education/personal-belief-system???”;

*** *** ***

"Master"（Mr. Bean）:“My dear solar, it too hard to Counting those  living in DOG/Sheep RULES world-fool, why do you only Counting those can alignment with their Source and as an alignment-deliberate-creator!!! “

*** *** ***

Because…:

Life and time are the two best teachers, life teaches us To make good use of time and us the value of life. *** *** *** And…: We meet ourselves time and time again in thousand disguises on the path of Life. ~Carl Jung *** *** *** We are caged by our cultural programming. Culture is a mass hallucination, and when you step outside the mass hallucination you see it for what it's worth. ~Terence McKenna *** *** *** 

You wait a lifetime to meet Someone who understands you, accepts you as you are. At the end, you find that Someone, all along, has been you.” - Richard Bach

*** *** ***  Otherwise…: “Family”(family-social-country-belief-system) dysfunction rolls down from generation to generation, like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow. - Terry Real *** *** ***

My dear solar, you know…:

You are not a sheep, meant to follow blindly behind shepherds obediently?  You are a wolf, meant to howl wildly at the Fu11 Moon and run free through the' trees; never tamed and never chained. - Ara

*** *** ***

And…:

The nightingale does not make his nest in a cage lest slavery be the lot of its chicks.

*** *** ***

So…:

"NO PRICE IS TOO HIGH TO PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF OWNING YOURSELF." ~ FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHF. 

*** *** *** The problem with being brainwashed is believing you haven't been brainwashed. *** *** ***

No matter of what area, topic or who? *** *** ***

So my dear solar, do you ever…: Look at your mindset. *** *** *** 

The moment you become aware of the ego in you , it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist. ~Eckhart Tolle  *** *** ***  “We all have a choice to either live our lives as unconscious slaves to the pre-established social order (as sheep) or consciously take the road less traveled and reclaim our true identity as infinite Consciousness (God).” ~Anon I mus  *** *** *** 

So my dear solar, do you ever…: Look at your mindset. *** *** ***  When you recognize that there is a voice in your head that pretends to be you and never stop speaking, you are awakening out of your unconscious identification with the stream of thinking. When you notice that voice, you realize that who you are is not the voice. the thinker, but the one-who is aware of it. *** *** ***  And there have a lot of DOG/Sheep RULES, ...service, loyalty for outer world rulers, not service, loyalty for alignment with your “Source”(True Self; Tao) and as alignment-deliberate-creator. *** *** ***  Do you have ever ... Look at your mindset…..My dear solar!!! *** *** ***  And you can decide living through your lifetime after lifetime or Generation after generation to obey dog’s ruler or you can realize this conversation…: *** *** ***  THERE SHALL BE NO RULER OVER YOU" IS A VERY ANCIENT LAW, SO ANCIENT, THAT IT IS LONG FORGOTTEN. *** *** ***

And…: NOTHING IS SO LOVED BY TYRANTS AS ARE OBEDIENT SUBJECTS. ~Clarence Darrow *** *** ***

No matter of it’s on religion/morality/political/country/social/family/education/personal-belief-system….:

*** *** ***  Do you have ever ... Look at your mindset…..My dear solar!!! *** *** *** 

Sometimes a small change in language changes everything. Try replacing 'my; myself; me' with 'this'!!!  *** *** *** This body, this mind, this person, this family, this work, this company, this social, this country, this religion-morality-education-belief-system,...this problem...etc.  Just consider as if you are aliens… see another stranger, another street man. *** *** *** Just take it as if happen on another stranger, not happen on your body-mind….: *** *** *** Watch Life, as if you are watching a movie! Watch your own 3D-life-movie, as if you are watching another peoples 3D-life-movie. Watch your own self, as if you are watching another people's self. Watch your own beliefs, as if you are watching another peoples’ beliefs.... inquiry and question it. *** *** *** It makes space to offer all For a Divine solution. *** *** *** *** *** *** Think about this…: Between your heart and their heart, If this same thing happen in other people ,  If other people tell you about the same story,  If other people tell you about the same problem,  If other people tell you about the same situation,  *** *** ***  In everything which happens keep before thy eyes those to whom the same things happened, and how they were vexed, and treated them as strange things, and found fault with them: and now where are they? Nowhere. Why then dost thou too choose to act in the same way?  And why dost thou not leave these agitations which are foreign to nature,to those who cause them and those who are moved by them? And why art thou not altogether intent upon the right way of making use of the things which happen to thee? For then thou wilt use them well, and they will be a material for thee to work on. Only attend to thyself,and resolve to be a good man in every act which thou doest: and remember...

「古今＂道＂(Logos; Matt)惟一，對談吐所謀！」， ***  面對發生的一切事情，回憶一下這樣一些人， 同樣的事也曾對他們發生，他們曾是多麼煩惱啊， 把這些事情看做奇怪的、不滿於它們，而現在他們到哪裡去了呢？ 無處可尋。那麼你為什麼願意以同樣的方式行動呢？ *** *** *** 「抱＂一＂(Logos; Matt)為天下式！，執古之道，以御今有，以人為鑑知吉凶，以之見知天下而不惑！」， ***  你為什麼不把這些與＂大道＂(Logos; Matt) 自然本性相歧異的焦慮留那些引起它們並被它們推動的人呢？ 你為什麼不完全專注于利用對你發生的事物的正確契合聯結「古今不二精真信久」＂大道＂(Logos; Matt) 方式呢？ 因為那樣你將好好地利用它們，它們將給你契合聯結心願夢想的工作提供質料。 僅僅傾聽自身自性光明， 在你做的一切行為中都決心做一個契合聯結「古今不二精真信久」＂大道＂(Logos; Matt)，「以《道》度己度人覺己覺人」的好人，記住……！ *** *** *** Look within. Within is the fountain of“Good”(Source; Tao; True Self; Matt; Dharma; All That Is), and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig.

59、觀照內心。契合聯結「古今不二精真信久」＂大道＂(Logos; Matt)， 「以《道》度己度人覺己覺人」之善的源泉是在內心， 如果你挖掘，它將汩汩地湧出。 *** *** *** *** *** ***  The Meditations BOOK SEVEN By Marcus Aurelius *** *** *** *** *** *** To awaken means to awaken out of the self-talk in the head because the self-talk is a form of hypnosis ---- self-hypnosis. ~Eckhart Tolle *** *** *** *** *** *** In order to awaken out of the self-talk in our mind,. True power is sitting back & observing everything with "logic"(Ma-at; Logos; Tao; Source; True Self).  True power is "restraint"(don't identify with it as "true; me & mine),  *** *** *** *** *** *** Step Two: *** *** *** *** *** *** Then, if this same thing happen in other people ,  if they tell you about the same story,  if they tell you about the same problem,  if they tell you about the same situation,  Between your heart and their heart,  how do you walks in their shoes,  how do you give wise advice ,  To help them to as a alignment-deliberate-creator,  To help them to get rid of painful and get sweet fruit. *** *** *** *** *** *** "Sometimes the greatest adventure is simply a conversation. -Amadeus Wolfe *** *** *** *** *** *** Physical attractions are common.  But a mental, intellectual and spiritual connections are rare. *** *** *** The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept. *** *** *** MY HEART IS AT EASE KNOWING THAT WHAT IS MEANT FOR ME WILL NEVER MISS ME, AND THAT WHICH MISSES ME WAS NEVER MEANT FOR ME. *** *** *** Because…: Satisfied life is better than successful life. Because our success is measured by others. But our satisfaction is measured by our ’ own soul, mind and heart. And real understand come from Satisfied life. And what can really, really, really let you have Satisfied life, only you know, not come from outer world.  *** *** *** *** *** ***