#sometimes I think I have left behind my problems with Zuko

[oneatlatime]

The Awakening

Season 3 let's goooooooooo

These Fire Nation cells are absurdly spacious.

I do love that Momo's first reaction is kisses.

Not a cell. Oops.

Well that was confusing. I was arguing so vociferously that the SWT weren't pirates and then they go and gank a ship.

Mai girl get it! Questionable taste in men, but I love to see a lady getting exactly what she wants.

Mai: "how are you?" Zuko: *existential dread* Mai: "babe. Shut up."

Aang says he's the only one who's completely out of it, but Appa's behind him in full faceplant mode.

Actually, by the hair growth standard established by Zuko, Aang's been out 5 days at most.

Season 1 bitchy Katara is back again. I hate season 1 bitchy Katara.

I'm impressed by how much of these characters' identities is tied to their colour palettes. I see all these water tribe guys walking around in reds and blacks and I have no idea who I'm looking at.

Aang's eyes are back to brown this episode.

I love that Katara has no idea how she healed Aang. Superpowered does not mean superlearned. So much more believable than supergenius tweens.

It's the old ladies! They're wearing croissants on their heads. Why not.

This is a cool way to do exposition. A royal proclamation narrating a flashback.

These Dai Li don't know shit about loyalty huh.

SONG! HI SONG! I MISS YOU!

CORNY BABY & FAMILY! HI CORNY BABY & FAMILY! I DON'T MISS YOU! My guy why haven't you unpacked yet.

Given the welcome Zuko gets from the Fire Nation crowds, I'm thinking the exact cause/terms of his banishment were never made public? They're hyping him up like a wrestling entrance. That doesn't track with someone known to be honourless.

I want whatever's in Bato's bowl. Those noodles have him mesmerised. He's staring at them like they're telling him the secrets of the universe.

Are you telling me that Appa successfully landed on the deck of one of these ships without sinking it?

I love how Gaang's reaction to everything going wrong is to go find their dad.

STOP GOING ON ABOUT THE INVASION PLAN. IT WON'T WORK. STOP.

"Yep! The whole world thinks you're dead. Isn't that great!" Sokka. TACT.

Sometimes Sokka's brain gets too far ahead of itself.

Poor Aang. Not many people whose deaths are wrongly cause for celebration live long enough to see those celebrations.

How do the topknots fit inside the helmets?

This is silly beyond words. It's a two second throwaway gag but they're so into it.

Aang saying "I hate not being able to do anything" to the girl whose whole existence was not doing anything until recently is certainly a choice. And honestly, wasn't Season 1 Aang's whole point not wanting to be the Avatar? Actual responsible adults are handling the problems for once. He should be ecstatic.

I just realised this Fire Nation disguise ship plan means there are people in the Southern Water Tribe who know how to run coal powered ships. Neat.

One of the things I really love about Avatar is how much love they put into the side characters. This guy on the left is a nameless mook, but in the three to four lines of dialogue he gets, we see a world of political and bureaucratic headaches and a bunch of normal, humanising emotions (who hasn't been angry at that one coworker who can never be bothered to email?). The writers didn't have to give him that much personality, but they did!

Also, how often do Fire Nation ships get captured, if two pieces of bureaucracy not lining up causes this guy to jump to that conclusion, rather than think the bureaucracy messed up?

Someone in the Fire Nation has invented extra buoyant metal.

Turtleducks are scared of Azula. Turtleducks are good judges of character.

An awful lot of this episode is flashback footage.

Toph is a missile launcher. This is all I wanted out of life.

For the first time ever, Aang gets to play the role that Sokka plays in every bending heavy battle.

Since when can Katara do bending moves this big?

Sokka once again harnessing his ability to speak the opposite of what he wants into existence.

They said they passed through the serpent's pass a few days ago. Clever foreshadowing I completely missed.

Don't you love it when all your problems cancel each other out?

Aang. This is not the hill to die on. Also please don't throw tapestries around in a room with unguarded candles until you can firebend.

Wow Aang is just taking all the wrong lessons from this. And he's stealing Zuko's lines.

Turns out the Firelord is just some guy with an unfortunate goat beard.

Katara finally gets a chance to be her age, complete with nonsensical emotions and misdirected anger. I hate bitchy Katara but I love seeing her expressing the root of that bitchiness. And I love how illogical it all is, and that she acknowledges that! Emotions ARE illogical and messy!

Contrasting Hakoda winning Dad of the Year with Ozai setting off every alarm bell known to man is a choice. A really good choice. But wow. Not subtle.

I knew Azula always lied, but to her own dad/Firelord too? That's a dangerous move.

Aang. What are you doing. Stop.

Leave the door open. Peak sibling move.

In a turn of events that should surprise absolutely no one, Zuko's been played like a fiddle by his sister and is now as trapped as ever. The surprising part is that Azula thinks she can get away with lying to the Firelord too. Don't know how that's going to go for her long term.

So much for me saying the Avatar universe doesn't do ghosts. This season opener is surprisingly backwards-looking.

No offense to ghost Yue, but I think the saving the world she's referring to is the time she and a massive fishman saved the world, not strictly Aang.

How did they get past the blockade and find the right island?

I cringed at Katara's knee slide.

How are they standing on that island or breathing the air if it's hot enough to do that?

Final Thoughts

...what was that?

Seriously. This episode was a disorganised and aimless mess with the occasional gold mine of characterisation bobbing around. Did the writers not have a plan for what would happen after season 2 ended? This episode feels like the writers had as much plan as the characters did. If I was feeling charitable, I would say that this episode was a hot mess as a metanarrative commentary on Aang and the world's state, but I'm not feeling charitable. I think this episode was just a hot mess.

First, the good bits.

I liked that Sokka was very in character. We've seen before how he can run away with an idea to the point that he forgets to mind the human element. This episode's Sokka felt very much like Sokka. I liked that the beat up Sokka quota was replaced with 'Sokka dares the universe to play chicken and actually wins for once.' His optimistic characterisation this episode didn't grate like his inexplicable optimism did in Ba Sing Se, because here he has a reason to be happy. He's got his dad and a plan. Being around his dad and their people has done him good.

I like Toph the Ballista.

I like the noodle hypnosis.

I loved Katara's emotional blow up. It doesn't matter how noble or important the cause, leaving your kids for a cause is still leaving. I love that she points out how illogical her emotions are being. And I love that Hakoda creates a no-judgement-all-comfort-safe-to-rant zone for her. She's been waiting to do that for a while, and some of it came out at Zuko last episode, so it's been established that she's at boiling point. Fun fact: Katara has now had emotionally fraught venting sessions at Hakoda, Zuko, and Jet if you squint. I don't know what to make of the fact that the show has grouped these men into the same category of 'safe for Katara to vent to.'

I liked a couple of the throwaway gags, and the throwaway characters.

I liked the framing of Zuko's reintroduction to his father. Great use of angles and shadows. We've had two seasons of build up to this guy as the Biggest Bad, and the scene of Zuko kneeling in the throne room while Ozai paces around and delivers the world's most menacing praise felt big enough to be the crowning glory of that payoff. Especially contrasted to the loving father daughter reunion of equals it was interspersed with. But...

The bad bits.

Why did they immediately undermine two seasons of hype and all of the episode's menace by showing the Firelord as a gullible idiot who can't spot a bold-faced lie coming from a tween? I am legitimately pissed off that they defanged him as a threat so soon after introducing him. And I don't think showing that Azula can successfully lie to the Firelord builds up Azula as a threat - I think it also undermines her, because it's a stupid move. This episode could have introduced the biggest bad and reinforced the threat posed by last season's antagonist. Instead, it completely neutered the biggest bad and made Azula look like an idiot. I am actually mad about this.

Other stuff I didn't like: Aang's whole deal. Of course he was going to lose his mind and not be ok about what went down in Ba Sing Se. But he's never this dismissive of his friends, and a huge part of his early character is the fact that he would absolutely love it if some qualified adults stepped in and did the job he was unwillingly born into. Aang this episode felt self-centred and out of character.

Zuko's usually not this dim. I had figured out the angle Azula was going for by the end of the turtle duck pond conversation. Why can't he figure out for himself why Azula has redirected the potential blame if Aang is found to have survived?

The pacing felt off. The A plot flipped between action set pieces and emotional stuff. The B plot was purely talking. But the action set pieces felt out of place in an otherwise quiet episode. I get that you need something to interest the 8 year olds hyped up on sugar who only want explosions, but I think this episode would have been a lot better without the 'Aang almost drowns but gets a pep talk from a couple of ghosts who say exactly what everyone else has already said to him for two seasons but for some reason Aang listens this time and it works.' Why couldn't we have had a quiet episode?

Speaking of, why are Roku and Yue randomly popping up? Last time Aang talked to Roku, it took a trip into the Avatar state and the destruction of a very stupid general's whole army base. The ONLY person who's talked to Yue since she died is Sokka, and that took a magic swamp. I just don't get it. I don't get why they were there, why they said what they did, why those particular words in that particular order worked on Aang when no one else's words were getting through. I don't get why hiding out in the Fire Nation is the plan of choice over chilling with the Southern Water Tribe (other than because the plot says no responsible adults allowed).

The action piece with the Snekky Boy was fun. Even if what set it off was contrived (which it was), I think it was a fun watch and the only action the episode needed.

This episode was also so dark that I spent more time contemplating how much I really need to clean my screen than watching stuff happen.

I got so pissed off at this episode that I totally forgot about Mai. Go Mai! I am WEAK for romance arcs that boil down to 'Girl sees boy. Girl wants boy. Girl gets boy." Go Girl! Like I said above, questionable taste, but if it's what she wants, then congrats on getting it. I love Azula noticed and is like 'my resident goth appears to be broken.'

I have decided that Toph carved an underground harbour like the refugee station on Full Moon Bay and stashed all the water tribe ships in there, because those ships are too pretty to scuttle.

If I could surgically remove that scene between Katara and Hakoda and insert it into some other episode, I'd never watch this one again.

[eponastory]

ZUTARA...

Okay, so my thoughts...

Look, I'm an OG fan. I was a teenager when the animated show came out and boy oh boy...

Okay, so yes, I am a Zutara shipper. I have been since the show aired, and the way the show ended with Aang and Katara left an icky taste in my mouth. I'm not anti Kataang either. It just gives me... eew. Especially now that I'm an adult and I know relationships are messy to begin with. I don't agree that the show creators think that Zutara would be toxic... that is not necessarily true as Zuko's character doesn't support such a thing and neither does Katara's. Aang is still a child mentally and he doesn't seem to understand that people are going to do what they are going to do. Case and point, The Southern Raiders. Aang confronts Katara telling her that she should let it go and forgive Yon Rah... the only problem with this is that Katara needs to deal with her own closer. Forgiveness does not mean closure. Take it from me, a person who has difficulty letting go of hurts from the past. Some things I can forgive, while other things I can't because they are still a problem for me today, which is why I'm in therapy. It is not up to Aang to decide what Katara needs to do in that moment. If anything, he is showing his complete misunderstanding of her resolve. She is angry, hurt, and compulsive. She is feeling these things because her past has been thrown in her face by Zuko's presence. Because he is there, all that hurt is like a thousand daggers in her back. Zuko is letting her do. He is letting her feel, and for those who say he is encouraging her to murder someone, that isn't what is going on. He is basically letting her do what she needs to do. When someone is feeling that way, you wither let them feel it and support them or you get out of the way. People are going to do what they want. It's a hard lesson to learn.

Aang has his world view of peace and compassion, which is not a bad thing, but he lacks understanding. Probably because he is still a child and still learning the ways of people. People are cruel and sometimes unforgiving, but we can also be kind, loving, and filled with hope. Aang sees the good in everyone, except Ozai, which I'm pretty sure the only thing good about Ozai is the fact that Mark Hamil is behind his voice. But anyway, I like Aang. He's a good character that transforms everyone he interacts with. That is the best quality about him. The absolute worst of his qualities is that he tends to push his beliefs into the open without taking a moment to think about how others feel. And that isn't even that bad. It's a disregard of those emotions that leave a little bit of bitterness in my mouth. But that is something everyone struggles with at one point. That is just being human.

But yeah, this is just my humble opinion. Relationships are messy and they need work. They arent always going to be perfect, which is why neither ship is going to be better than the other. Does Aang and Katara have a happy marriage? Well, I can't say that they do because there isn't much to go on other than they have children. I'd like to think they have their ups and downs like most relationships do.

Would Zuko and Katara have a good relationship? Going off of their character I'd say they would balance each other out. It won't be toxic because they do fine when they are together in the show. They work well as a team and have each other's backs. So yeah, that is there in the show.

I'd also like to point out that Zuko and Mai don't tick the boxes for outstanding relationship. Those two have been on and off and I honestly don't think they will get back together. Kinda reminds me of the guy I was on and off with for five years... now that was toxic.

But yeah. I've done the shipping thing for so long it doesn't matter if it's Canon or not. Like I seriously shipped Sesshomaru and Kagome for years even though I knew she and Inuyasha were going to be together. Didn't care too much for Sess/Rin because again... eew. You ship who you want and what you feel makes sense. Does this mean people have to berate others about it? No. There should never be any condescension or degrading because we are all fans.

But for real... I think Azula and Sokka should get together. And I'm not on the Taang ship either.

Fight me... I dare you.

[peony-pearl]

Aang flew as fast as the currents could take him. He kept tabs on the spirit as it charged towards the homestead; he hoped the others weren’t too close to the entrance of the forest.

He found a strong wind current, and he charged through the sky, able to see the clearing as he bypassed the raging spirit. He crested the canopy, and found Katara, Azula, and Niwa waiting nearby.

“GET OUT OF THE WAY!! GO TOWARDS THE HOUSE!!” Aang screamed; but it wasn’t long until the spirit burst through the trees.

Katara was quick to act, and she used the nearby ravine to create a wall of ice to contain the spirit. Azula shoved Niwa towards the house and ran to join Katara and Aang.

“Where’s Zuko?” Azula asked Aang as he landed.

“He’s in the woods with Ozai-”

“YOU LEFT HIM WITH OZAI?! ALONE?!” Azula screeched as smoked poured from her mouth. Aang winced, but he was distracted by the scraping sounds of the spidersnake’s sharp legs clawing at the ice. Katara continued to add layers of ice to the wall, but the spirit was chipping away too fast for her to keep up.

“It’s going to escape!” She shouted. Aang looked back to Niwa, holding Katsu as she watched in fear, and he bent giant split in the earth to keep the spirit from reaching her. Niwa watched in awe as her land was broken in half, and water from the ravine crashed into the gap.

“Okay,” Katara said, still adding layers of ice. “What’s the plan?”

Aang joined her, also layering on to the wall as Azula joined them at the ready. Aang nervously laughed.

“Uhh that’s a good question.”

“You don’t have a plan?!” Azula asked. Aang pouted at her.

“Oh like you two have been making one while we’ve been in there?!”

Azula pouted back and crossed her arms, remaining silent.

“I don’t want to kill it,” Aang said. “It’s suffered enough; but harming others won’t fix it’s suffering.”

“What does it want?” Katara asked.

“It wants Ozai and his family dead,” Aang said.

Azula hmm’d. “I don’t see the problem with that.”

“Azula!” Katara admonished, but Azula was quick to snap back.

“Do you know what it’s like?! To have gone through so much because of him and suddenly he’s so much happier without you around?!”

Aang helped add another layer to the ice wall as the spirit screamed in frustration.

“I don’t think that’s what happened, Azula.”

“HE NEVER WOULD HAVE HELPED ME IF I WAS IN THIS SITUATION! AND YET HE’S IN THAT FOREST LOOKING FOR HIS NEW PERFECT LITTLE BABY WHILE WE DO ALL OF HIS DIRTY WORK FOR-”

“OZAI STAYED BEHIND BECAUSE ZUKO’S HURT. I’M DOING MY JOB AS THE AVATAR, OZAI IS HELPING YOUR BROTHER.”

Azula went silent, but she appeared as though she could shoot lightning from her eyes.

“Azula,” Aang said; “Would you let a woman endure the pain you felt just to make yourself feel better? I know you wouldn’t; you quit that cycle a long time ago. You have to live it now. And not giving in to the pain you’ve endured sometimes hurts more than the memory of it.”

Azula turned her head, tears in her eyes.

“Think about Kiyi! You have another little sister and brother! If you put that same harm on them, what would that say about everything you’ve learned? And if Ozai has learned how to stop acting out on his own anger, then why be mad at that?”

“Because Zuko and I suffered!”

“But it’s not Niwa’s fault; nor is it Chiyo’s or Katsu’s. Your suffering isn’t your fault,” Aand said, looking at the spirit, “But enacting on that anger to hurt others out of justice... sometimes it’s only revenge; and the cycle continues. And one day they’ll see it as the right thing to keep hurting other. Is that the legacy you want, Azula? After everything you’ve been through?”

For a moment, the only sounds were Katara and Aang adding water to the ice wall to contain the spirit.

Azula took a breath. “So... what should we do with this?” She asked.

Aang looked to Katara. “We can’t just keep holding it... we have to do something to stop it.”

“And at what point do we put it down?” Azula asked, stretching her arms as her hands began to sizzle.

“... We don’t.”

Azula sighed. “Katara he’s impossible.”

Katara smiled towards her fiance. “Yeah; I know.”

The ice finally broke, and the spirit lunged forward. Aang leaped into the air as Katara used the water to skate out of the way. Azula bent a wall of fire to try and herd the spirit away, but it was almost too fast, and it kept up with the blaze as it extended. Azula cursed and focused her powers on her feet, and she burst forward, using her flames to hover and move quickly.

Niwa watched in horror as part of her homestead was lit ablaze. Even from her distance she could feel the heat from the fire. Her livestock bleated and clucked and screeched in fear as she held tight to Katsu.

She wondered why only Aang had returned from the forest; until she saw two figures at the entrance of the trees.

Ozai helped Zuko stumble along, the two of them taking in the sight of battle.

Zuko tried to stand, but he was still too weak. Ozai helped him sit as he he could see Niwa and Katsu were safe.

But there was still no sign of Chiyo.

Holding tight to Zuko’s swords, Ozai pondered his best course of action.

“Dad,” Zuko said, and Ozai knelt down to listen. “You should go back in and try to find Chiyo while it’s distracted.”

Ozai stared at him. “And leave you here?”

Zuko laughed. “It wouldn’t be the first time. I’ll be fine.”

The words stung Ozai, but he was right.

“Besides,” Zuko said, “I’m a better solo fighter.”

“And yet you’re here with all of these people who care about you,” Ozai said.

Zuko smirked. “I lucked out. They helped me realize how much worth I had when I was blind to it.”

Ozai’s throat tightened. “I’ve... gone through a similar situation recently.” Ozai said. “I just didn’t realize it until today.”

Zuko shook his head, weakly pushing his father.

“Then go; go find her,” he said. Ozai stood, and Zuko gripped Ozai’s hand on one of the swords, ensuring he had a good hold on the hilt. “Don’t fail another one of your kids. Or I’ll make sure you see that prison cell again.”

Ozai nodded. “As his majesty commands.”

Ozai rushed back into the woods, and Zuko weakly tried to stand, but his legs weren’t strong enough. His presence caught the eye of Katara.

“ZUKO!” She shouted, skating his way with her water ribbon. She landed in front of him and crouched down. “Where is it?” She asked, preparing her water as he showed her the wound. She was quick to begin healing it as he wrapped an arm around her for support.

“I told dad to go back in and look for Chiyo while you have the spirit distracted.”

“You haven’t found her yet?”

“No. I’m starting to worry.”

“... Do you think he’ll find her?”

Zuko looked back to the fight raging in front of him. “I want to hope so; for all our sakes. I don’t want to think of my father’s bloodlust going against this spirit’s. If we led this thing here and something’s happened to Chiyo, I don’t think we’ll have seen the last of my father’s anger.”

A healed Azula having her first violent outburst in years after finding Ozai in his hiding spot in the Earth Kingdom. She has him pinned, aiming her hand that is popping with charged lightning right at his heart.

'Beg for my forgiveness.' She seethes as Zuko panics behind her.

Ozai remains calm.

Years have passed, long enough to realize what he did to them.

He does not deserve to even beg. He closes his eyes.

Azula's own eyes are overcome with tears. The lightning is at its zenith.

But she is not her father. She releases the lighting into the air with a curse.

[seyaryminamoto]

i just saw your post about how zuko’s redemption isn’t as well done as everyone thinks it is and like. holy shit my dude!! you put it into words!! i’ve always thought that the reason i didn’t like him was because he was woobified and acted like a shitty person i knew but like. fuck!! that’s exactly it!!! i loved that post

Hello there! Sorry for the late answer, and thanks for the ask!

I must admit, I'm not quite sure which post you mean x'D I have written quite a few pieces on my opinion regarding Zuko's redemption, but as my opinion on the subject is pretty much set in stone by now, whichever one you've read, I'm glad you agreed with it! :D

Tbh, while I understand, objectively, why people love his character arc, I really stand by the belief that a fair amount of people love what Zuko represents and symbolizes far more than they love his actual character. There's no denying that the messages intended through Zuko (you can overcome the trappings of your toxic past, you can choose to do better after you've made mistakes, you can grow out of twisted ideologies and sickening philosophies) are good and well-meaning (on the most part...). But there are so many loopholes, so many inconsistencies, so many moments that actually muddle his growth and make him soooo much more complicated than fandoms, official writers and even the creators seem to understand he is... and it's not the kind of complication that makes his arc better. If anything, it's the entire opposite thing, because more often than not, those inconsistencies actually make me question how much he grew and learned at all, and if what he's telling us he learned makes any sense with the process we literally saw him go through.

I definitely understand if part of your distaste for his character comes from personal experiences with people who resemble Zuko, that definitely can happen. There's one ATLA character I refuse to name names to avoid conflicts :'D who acts an awful lot like a very toxic person in my past. I do my best to set aside those misgivings because they're very much personal, but I 100% understand not being able to do it depending on how bad your experiences were, or how much you've healed from them. Still, if your bigger problem is the misfires in Zuko's character arc... I totally get you. If there's one sure way to make me skeptical about someone's opinions, it's when they say Zuko's redemption arc is the best one in the history of redemption arcs. I seriously hope to one day compile a big enough list of better redemption arcs to put those claims to shame xD I get it if it means a lot to people... but sorry-not-sorry, there are a lot of redemption arcs that are waaaaay better than his, and that address problems head-on and make the characters confront true consequences for their actions in ways Zuko never truly had to.

At any rate, I've pitched a tent in the ATLA impopular opinions corner since a very long time ago xD it's always great to know more people who think similarly, though! :D

[sukifans]

aahhh I’m so excited I love your writing!!! your sokka “help me” fic is one of my favs ever I seriously think about it at least twice a week. in a similar vein, would you be able to combine prompts 10 & 12 for sokka x fem!reader? thank you!!! :)

SOKKA + “can i try that new chapstick? i wanna have a taste” + “i hadn’t noticed but my sweet, funny, goofy best friend is kind of hot, especially since they’ve been on this fitness kick”

⇦ 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛

“nastiest skank bitches” Group Message

loml: ladies, i need a girls night

loml: desperately

babygorl: god i’m down, this semester blows

fugly slut <3: i’m in!! always here for a girls night 🥰

loml: y/n??

you: gals. pals. as much as i would love to...

fugly slut <3: ughhhhhhhhh

babygorl: you better not be blowing us off for sokka again istg

you: 😅

loml: TRAITOR BITCH

fugly slut <3: HOES BEFORE BROS

babygorl: WHORE

you: bruh.mp3

you: he’s coming by after the gym to help me with my physics homework!!! I NEED THE HELP PLS I PROMISE ILL BE THERE NEXT TIME

babygorl: lying is a sin y/n

babygorl: sinner

loml: if sokka’s gonna b there maybe she’ll be sinning in........ other ways...... ahaha

loml: fuckboy_emoji.jpg

fugly slut <3: when you gonna tap that fr

you: NEVER LITERALLY NO EW

you: HE’S MY BEST FRIEND

you: UNLIKE YOU RATS

fugly slut <3: he do b kinda yummy tho liiiike 👀

you: STOP

loml: yeah he’s hot sorry queen

you: HE’S NOT HOT

babygorl: i almost hate to admit it but...

babygorl: his biceps 🥴

fugly slut <3 emphasized “his biceps 🥴”

loml loved “his biceps 🥴”

you: hey! i hate u guys! jsyk!

fugly slut <3 disliked “hey! i hate u guys! jsyk!”

babygorl disliked “hey! i hate u guys! jsyk!”

loml disliked “hey! i hate u guys! jsyk!”

babygorl: uh huh yeah sure

loml: yall hear sumn?

NEW MESSAGE from sokka :^)

“hey i’m omw up!”

you: whatever you guys suck

you: i gtg

fugly slut <3: AND YOU SWALLOW

babygorl: bye girly!! get that bestie dick!!

loml: save a car, ride an engineering major >:)

you: desgostang.jpg

You dropped your phone onto the bed next to you with a groan. Your friends really and truly could be such freaks about your relationship with Sokka—or lack thereof. They’d been especially adament ever since he started some stupid bet with Zuko about who could get the most “gains” by graduation, incited by Aang making the mistake of commenting on Zuko’s more pronounced muscle mass.

Idiots.

That’s what Sokka was. Your idiotic best friend, who was funny, and sweet, and intelligent. You loved him, of course, but not like that. And he was not hot.

Definitely not.

The pounding on your dorm door interrupted your musings before Sokka let himself in, dropping his gym bag on the floor and kicking off his slides. His hair was loose and still damp from his post-workout shower and he wore slim joggers with a loose muscle tee.

“Hey!” He smiled brightly when he spotted you sitting in your bed. “What’s up?”

“The usual.” You moved your legs out of the way so he could flop down onto your mattress. “How was the gym?”

Sokka groaned. “Cardio. I’m already sore.” He stretched his arms up to fold behind his head, pulling his muscles taut.

Hm. He does kind of have nice biceps...

You shook yourself internally. Thoughts like these had been creeping out of your subconscious for weeks now, no thanks to your rabid friends.

“My leg’s been killing me, though,” he continued, rubbing his opposite foot across the skin that covered that metal pins and plates holding his bones together after a nasty break in high school. The leg often still gave him problems, ranging from the dull ache he could ignore on the day-to-day, to throbbing pain that left him limping.

You frowned, looking away from his arms to meet his eyes. “You should probably rest up before you hurt yourself,” you said.

“I’ll be fine.” He shrugged and propped himself up on his elbows. “Gotta catch up to Zuko, y’know.”

“Why? You’re already taller than him.”

“So? I wanna be more yolked, too.”

You rolled your eyes. “Buncha dumbasses.”

Sokka quirked an eyebrow. “You want this dumbass to help with your physics homework or not?”

“Haha,” you chuckled nervously, “just kidding, buddy! I meant Zuko and Aang. You—definitely not a dumbass. Nope.”

“That’s what I thought.” He shot you a smug look as he pushed up to sit cross-legged across from you on the bed. He held his hand out with a dramatic, world-weary sigh. “Alright, give it here.”

You opened your laptop to pull up the website that hosted your homework practice problems. “You know I love you, right?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, grabbing a notebook and pen from your desk to work out the math as you handed over the computer. He paused before standing to retrieve his bag, plopping it on your desk chair so he could root through it and pull out his glasses case. You felt your cheeks warm a little when he set the frames on the bridge of his nose.

Fine—he was kinda cute. You could concede that without having to dig too deep into your somewhat jumbled feelings for your best friend.

But you would certainly not “tap that.”

Well...

No. You would not.

You watched his eyes flick over the screen as he tapped the pen against his chin, catching the cap between his teeth while he thought about the formulas he’d learned in a past semester. He nodded to himself and started scribbling out a diagram and the math to go with it. You found yourself a little mesmerized by the way he simply just knew what to do, confidently scratching away at the paper as easily as one might write the alphabet. Your eyes trailed from his long fingers and calloused hand sweeping over the page, up his toned arm (lingering on his bicep a little longer), and to his face. He chewed at the inside of his cheek in concentration, sometimes parting his lips to murmur the logic to himself.

For someone who often said a lot of stupid shit, he sure had a pretty mouth.

You considered what he might do if you snatched a fistful of his shirt and yanked him into a kiss. Would he shove you away and leave? Awkwardly but kindly reject you? Or, would he kiss you back��throw the work out of the way and grab your face to coax you in deeper? Maybe push you back onto the bed and—

“Okay, so basically—”

Jesus Christ, get a fucking grip.

“—from the problem and draw it out like this to apply the formula, yeah?”

Sokka looked to you expectantly and you blinked at him as your face burned. “Sorry, I zoned out. What did you say?”

“C’mon, I know you hate physics but you gotta at least pay attention to me if you wanna pass,” he teased, shifting close enough that the sides of your bodies pressed together. Was it getting warmer in your room, or was it just your best friend?

He launched into the explanation again and you nodded along while internally willing the blood to leave your cheeks. Even as your thoughts ricocheted around inside your skull he managed to break it down in a way that somewhat made sense. He sat back and watched as you slowly worked through the next problem. You glanced up when you heard a soft pop to see him applying chapstick.

“Is that a new flavor?” you asked.

“Yeah, chocolate orange or something.” He held the tube out to you. “Wanna try?”

Fuck it.

Before your rationality could catch up you pressed a hand to his cheek to turn his head and pulled him in for a kiss. Your lips only slotted together for a brief moment before you pulled back to stare wide-eyed at each other. You could feel the fire creeping from your cheeks down your neck, mirrored in the reddening of his tanned skin.

He blinked. You blinked.

The chapstick slipped from between his fingers. Rationality arrived late.

You bolted.

“Uh, see ya later!” you shouted as you threw the door open and rushed out of the room.

“Wait, (Y/N)—“

You didn’t stick around to hear the end of his desperate call. Even thought it was your dorm and you were barefoot you still raced down the hall, wincing at the sound of a door slamming behind you.

“(Y/N)!”

Damn that lanky bastard. You were booking it and he was already hot on your heels. You barreled into the door leading to the stairwell and almost made it down the first step when he grabbed you around the waist and yanked you back. Despite your struggles, the arm hooked across your middle was unyielding until he pushed you into the corner and crowded you against the wall, hands caging you in from either side. Your heart was racing and you weren’t sure if it was because of your escape attempt or that he was close enough you could smell his body wash and deodorant. It was almost enough to make your head spin.

“Sokka, I-I don’t know why—I’m sorry, please, I shouldn’t’ve—“

“(Y/N),” he said firmly and your mouth snapped shut. “Why did you run away?”

“Uh, I—well, um...” You shrunk down against the wall and swallowed hard. “I-I don’t know.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance to respond.”

“Look—“ You paused and stared at him once you processed what he said. “What?”

He laughed, dropping one of his hands to brush against your cheek before threading into your hair to cup the base of your skull. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

With that he surged forwards and kissed you enthusiastically, making you gasp into his mouth. You balled your hands into the front of his shirt to keep yourself steady as you melted into him. His free hand pressed into your lower back to bring you in closer. His tongue slipped out to tease at your bottom lip and he chuckled when you had to quickly grab his shoulders as your knees almost buckled.

“Get that,” he murmured against your lips, pressing his forehead to yours as the two of you gasped for air.

“Oh,” you breathed, “that.” You hummed happily when he kissed you again, his stubble scratching against your chin and under your palms when you cupped his face.

You both looked up when a stairwell door somewhere above you slammed open, followed by a group of jostling male voices. Sokka grinned when you glanced at him with wide eyes and shiny, swollen lips. You tried to hide behind him as the clamor bounded closer and closer. The group of guys rounded the next flight and gave shouts of recognition upon seeing you two standing against the wall.

“Sokka!”

“Hey, man!”

“Hey, guys,” Sokka said, holding his hand up in greeting.

“What’s up?”

“Oh, is that (Y/N)?”

“Nice, dude!”

“Ah, yeah...” He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and you raised an eyebrow at his turned head. They all cheered and congratulated him, slapping his back as they passed and disappeared down the next set of stairs. When Sokka met your eyes again you cocked your head.

“Who were they?” you asked.

“Honestly, I’m not sure.”

“Sokka.”

“My reputation precedes me, what can I say?”

“Mine doesn’t.”

“Well—“ he suddenly became very interested in the underside of the stairs above you “—my reputation may or may not involve talking about you. A lot, apparently.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t do it on purpose!” he interjected quickly, taking your hands in his. “It’s just—I dunno, I guess I think about you a lot, so...”

“Oh.”

“Fuck, okay, that sounded weird.” You laughed a little at his embarrassed floundering. “I just mean, like, things that remind me of you or, y’know, stories that involve you...” he trailed off, flushing at your amused smile. “Stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“Making fun of me!”

“I didn’t say anything,” you giggled, hooking your arms around his neck.

“You’re still laughing at me,” he whined, lips turning into a frown. His hands slipped back down to your waist.

“You’re cute.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Without preamble, he ducked down and hoisted you over his shoulder as you shrieked in protest. “Sokka! Put me down!”

“No can do, baby; we have unfinished business to attend to.” He said as he marched you back in the direction of your room.

“You’re gonna finish my physics homework?”

“Nope.”

Oh.

A/N: 2k words bc, again, i have no self control. thank you for the request!

ATLA TAGS: @hotgirlazula @octophopi @blazedbakugou @protect-remus @akiris @sunflowerazula @wooscottoncandyhair @chewymoustachio @ohno-caroline @sunflowerr-mami @1vitamin @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @u-4iia @nymeria-targaryen @tommy-braccoli @dizzy-miss-lizzieeeeee @a-sloppy-bitch @nomin-rights @siriuslyslyslytherin @starryncn

SOKKA TAGS: @fiantomartell @avatarayeaye @zvkta @sher-lockedmarvel @grandmascottlang @captainshazamerica @yuesallura

[muertawrites]

The Dark of the Moon (Zuko x Reader)

Summary: Late night insomnia turns into a conversation about love, and Zuko makes an interesting discovery about his feelings for you.

Word Count: 2,100

Author’s Note: You can thank Avatar being on Netflix and rekindling my childhood obsession for this one. I wrote this mostly as a dialogue / pacing exercise, but it’s also a bit therapeutic since I can actually relate to Zuko more than I realized or could have ever foreseen watching this show as a ten year old. Enjoy a little emotional romantic fantasy on behalf of a preteen crush and all the toxic friends I’ve ever had. ✌

~ Muerta

Zuko usually slept with you. It started one late night during a mutual bout of insomnia, in which you ran into him as you both wandered the halls of the Western Air Temple. You hardly knew him, but he sat with you and talked about everything that night - anything that wasn’t related to the war or either of your pasts that had been torn apart by it. He surprised you with his dry, even-toned sense of humor, as well as with his intelligence in not only combat but literature and philosophy as well; being a healer and a fortune teller by trade, you found a lot to talk about with him.

As the nights awake became more common, you and Zuko spent more of them together; sometimes you’d wait until you happened upon him in the halls, others one of you would designate a place to meet. Eventually, one of you would go directly to the other’s room and you’d sit, sharing whatever light or heavy thoughts happened to plague your minds. You learned a lot about him in those nights, and grew to feel proud of how far he’d come in such a short time - you often helped others, those much older than yourselves, over months to scale the internal struggles he had, and he’d managed to do so on his own. The more you gave to him, the more he gave back, and it soon became commonplace to fall asleep to the sound of his breathing as he lay in his sleeping bag on the other end of your room. 

And that’s exactly what woke you up - the strange, still energy of your bedroom that indicated his resting place was empty. You rolled over, unable to spy his silhouette under the moonlit windowsill, and you rose, your feet carrying you to where you were certain he would be. 

It was a gorgeous night, with a gentle breeze ruffling the crisp air. You found Zuko in the courtyard, gazing out over the fog veiled landscape under the swell of the full moon. Without a word, you sat beside him, watching the clouds roll by like ships on a silent ocean. His chest churned in turmoil, so intensely you could feel it in your own.

“Apparently, I can’t sleep without you anymore,” you said. “How selfish of you to have problems that keep you up at night.” 

Zuko huffed out a soft chuckle, though the weight in his chest didn’t lift. He leaned back onto his palms, craning his neck backward and allowing the wind to tousle his ash-black hair. 

“You didn’t need to come out here,” he told you gently. “It’s not your job to help me fix myself.” 

“It never has been,” you replied. “I’ve never fixed anyone. All I ever do is listen and recite a few proverbs; everyone comes to their own conclusions in the end.” 

“That’s not true,” Zuko retorted. “I’ve seen you heal. You can do things not even Katara can do, just with whatever happens to be growing nearby. It’s incredible.” 

You smiled, your heart fluttering in your chest. 

“Physical healing and emotional healing are two super different things,” you told him. “Emotional wounds can only really be healed by the people who have them. I mean, unless you want me to crack open your chest and poke around at your heart for a little while.” 

Zuko chuckled again, the tenseness of his muscles easing up just slightly. He opened his palm and spawned a softly glowing flame, both of you watching it flicker in the cool night air. 

“I wish I’d been born a water bender,” he mused. “Something that would do good for others. All fire does is destroy.” 

You were silent for a moment, watching the thoughts swirl, tormented, behind his eyes. You thought of all the times you’d seen him smile, how his happiness made his handsome features all the more radiant and caused your stomach to bubble with joy. The memory shot a spike through your chest.  

“... You know, we only ever see one part of the moon,” you commented, breaking the quiet. “Everything behind that - the dark side - we don’t really consider, even though it’s always there and is as much a part of the moon as the side that’s in front of us.” 

Zuko smirked at you, distinguishing the flame in his hand. 

“Reciting a proverb at me?” he teased. 

You grinned. 

“This one’s more like a metaphor,” you admitted cheekily. “That tea I make, the one that tastes awful but makes pain completely disappear?” 

Zuko nodded. 

“I need fire to make it,” you continued. “I have to roast the ingredients over an open flame before boiling them. Without fire, I couldn’t do most of my healing; it would be too painful without the tea to help.” 

Zuko said nothing, but you could sense your words sinking into the cracks in his troubled thinking. 

“Fire is heat and light,” you added. “It’s just as important to life as water or earth or air. Every element is capable of destruction or creation - there isn’t a single one that’s inherently good or bad. The person that controls them is the only one who determines that.” 

There was another long pause, in which you busied yourself noting the different wild plants growing between the stones that paved the courtyard. You listed the different medicines you could make with each, the process calming you. 

“I’ve done some pretty shitty things to people I care about in order to embrace my goodness,” Zuko finally spat. The bitterness in his tone stung you. You turned to him, and for a split second you caught a familiar, rageful glimmer in his eye; the sight made your own temper flare. 

“Zuko, don’t do that to yourself,” you said. “It wasn’t just your father who hurt you and you know that.” 

“I know,” he snapped, cutting off the end of your words. “I still care about her, though. I don’t even know if she really ever cared about me, but I still… I still miss her.” 

Your ribs seemed to cave in, crushing your heart and lungs. He’d told you about Mai many times, and all you ever saw was that the darkness in her drew out the darkness in him; it even hung over you, clouding out the comfort you felt with Zuko and replacing it with unease and doubt. You feared there was no place in his heart for you - not while Mai still remained in it, no matter how badly her memory made him bleed. 

“It’s hard,” you choked out. “I still miss some of the people who hurt me, too.” 

That was all you could manage to say. You pulled your knees to your chest, half-burying your face in the fabric of your night dress as you forced the tears welling in the corners of your eyes not to flow. 

This is what you get, you scolded yourself. This is what you get for feeling things for people you know could never feel the same about you. 

A sensation of warmth curling around your shoulders made you jolt. Instinctively, you inched away, glancing in Zuko’s direction as he retracted the arm that had draped around you. You expected him to look away, but he didn’t - his pale amber eyes instead locked with yours. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “You hold your head so high… I forget sometimes that you’re trying to heal, too.” 

His words caused your tears to spill, though you didn’t cry; your face remained stony, and no sobs shook you. Your tears fell as easily as water from a cliff’s edge, impeded by nothing but the will of gravity. 

“... The cards you lent me,” Zuko said after a pause, almost blurting the words. “I’ve been reading them, to help me let go of everything I left behind. I don’t think I’m doing it right.” 

A few weeks ago, you’d given him a deck of cards you used for fortune telling. Each card depicted a different object, element, or scene, and were laid out in combinations that gave insight into a person’s spiritual path. You liked them more than other forms of fortune telling, as it encouraged its readers to make their own assumptions and drive their own fates instead of having it simply told to them. You gave your deck to Zuko so he could reflect on something finite, instead of getting consumed by his own thoughts. It was exactly what you used them for, and you knew they would help.

“Why?” you asked softly. 

“I drew a card that didn’t make sense,” he told you. “I laid down the Tides, then the Crossed Blades, and then… I pulled the Badger Mole. The other two I understand - one is for movement and change, the other is for strength in allies, but I… can’t figure out what the Badger Mole is supposed to mean.” 

“Badger moles are strong, powerful,” you explained, speaking dispassionately from memory, “but they’re gentle. The card represents the duality of both. They mate for life, too, so it also represents love and companionship.” 

As you spoke, you felt a meteor crash between you and Zuko. His face fell, dumbfounded, as he looked at you, his eyes darting minutely back and forth as you watched the pieces mend together in his head. 

“What do you feel?” you whispered, part of you terrified of his answer.

“... I feel like I’m fighting the tide,” Zuko replied, his tone awestruck. “It’s pushing me to shore, but I keep trying to swim back out to sea.” 

The corners of your lips curled upwards slightly, your cheeks still sticky with tears. 

“It’s really scary, huh?” you said. “Loving another person.” 

“Yeah... especially when you’ve never known what it feels like before,” Zuko added softly. 

You reached out, tentatively resting your palm against his cheek. His hand rose to close over yours, the sensation trembling you to your core. 

“How many times have you pulled the Badger Mole?” you asked. 

“Every time,” Zuko breathed. “I’m so stupid for not realizing. You make me feel wild and calm all at once. I get this crushing feeling in my chest when I see you or even think of you, and I thought it was just fear or sadness. But… you don’t make me want to lash out like I used to, with my father and Azula and Mai… just the thought of you makes me want to be the best person I can be. Even though I know you already accept me for not being that person.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh, somewhat defeatedly, your knees falling away from your chest and crossing in front of you. Your body was heavy, but your head felt light. 

“I love you, Zuko,” you murmured. “But I’m afraid.” 

Zuko wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. His forehead fell to rest against yours, his eyes closing as he steadied his erratic breathing. 

“If you’re scared, I’ll protect you,” he said quietly. “That’s what I think lovers are supposed to do.” 

The word made every organ in your body jump to your throat. Lovers. Your limbs felt weak, but your heart felt strong with Zuko holding you. 

Without thinking, you took his face in your hands and kissed him. It wasn’t hard and passionate like you expected, but firm, gentle, his lips pressing to yours like two palms grasped in an assuring embrace. He lay one of his large, able hands on the back of your neck, his thumb tenderly stroking your skin. 

When you finally broke apart, Zuko gazed at you with a soft, forlorn expression. His fingers reached to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I’m sorry I talk about her so much,” he said. “It must kill you.” 

You shook your head, a soft smile forming on your lips, still red from where Zuko had kissed them. 

“Don’t worry about it,” you told him. “I know some people from my past you’d happily drive a knife into.”

Zuko chuckled, the light, airy smile you saw when he was truly happy spreading to each of his cheeks. The spike that drove itself through your heart when you thought of it earlier was gone, replaced by the sweet warmth of a low flame on a cold night. With him, you were safe. 

“Let’s get some sleep,” Zuko suggested, taking your arm to help you stand. 

His hand slipped easily into yours, your fingers twining together. He leaned forward and kissed you again, his lips only grazing yours, causing your skin to buzz with the sensation. 

“... Do you think we’ll have to talk to Aang about this?” you asked as you walked back to your room. 

Zuko raised an eyebrow at you, confused. 

“He is your great-grandfather,” you elaborated with jest. “I should probably do the chivalrous thing and ask for his blessing or something.” 

Zuko laughed, nudging you with his shoulder so that you stumbled over your feet. You shoved him back, to which he took you by the waist and wrapped you tightly in his arms, kissing your cheek. 

“He probably won’t care,” he replied. “But my uncle will love you.”

[zukoszukhoes]

Don’t Speak- Zuko x Reader

// Soulmate au- Zuko x reader

// summary: In the Fire Nation, when you turn 16, the first words your soulmate will say to you appear on your wrist. Just after y/n’s 17th birthday, they don’t think they’ll ever find their soulmate. Until a certain prince, back from his banishment, comes to stay at their family’s estate on holiday. Suddenly, y/n is faced with a complicated problem; after all, what do you do when your soulmate is the crown prince of the nation you hate?

//part 2 here

//warnings: none, just some angst and a little threatening

// (Y/M/N)= your mother’s name

“(Y/n), the royal procession is here! Come quickly!” The head maid, Lotty, cried into your room.

Shit! You thought, lurching up from your bed. You’d gotten so engrossed in your book you’d forgetting to keep track of time. And now your hair was a mess, your clothes were wrinkled, and you still couldn’t find your shoes. Your father was going to kill you when he saw you.

“Lotty, have you seen my shoes? The ones we got last week for the procession?” You shouted, throwing on your banquet wear as fast as you could.

“It’s in the closet!” Lotty called back from the other room, her voice panicked. Having visitors always put Lotty on edge.

“No, they’re not!”

Lotty rushed in your room, face scrunched up with stress and hair resembling a bird’s nest. “What do you mean they’re not in the closet?” She screeched.

“I checked the closet and I’m telling you they’re not there!”

“Spirits, child! Could you at least try and be organized?!” Lotty cried, digging into the closet. She emerged a minute later with the shoes held triumphantly in her hands and shoved them into your chest. “Now, go, quickly! The prince will be here any minute!”

The prince. The words echoed bitterly in your mind. Despite being the child of a powerful Fire Nation government official, living in the Fire Nation brought you no joy.

Growing up, you’d watched as the Fire Nation conquered the rest of the world. You’d been taught that it was the right thing to do, that you were sharing your success to create a better world. But when your father told you of the lives lost-on both sides- you couldn’t help but hate the war, and the Fire Nation. To you, it was all senseless killing, poorly disguised under the name “progress.”

When you heard about the prince’s banishment for speaking out against the Firelord’s war plans, you’d hoped it meant that he was a fair, wise, and just person. And, that maybe, one day, he would come back and be the Firelord the world needed him to be. However, when you learned he’d killed the avatar in Ba Sing Se, you knew in your heart that he was just as evil as the rest of his family.

Still, your reservations about the royal family did not deter your own family from idolizing them. After all, the Firelord had given your father a respectable job, a good home, and a steady living. Being a high-ranking government official had opened all kinds of doors for your family. So when the Firelord asked your father to host his son, Prince Zuko, while he was meeting with his war generals, how could he say no?

“You’re late.” Your father grumbled as you fell into line in between him and your mother. “Why, on today of all days, did you choose to be late?”

“I’m sorry, father.” You replied, fixing your shirt surreptitiously. “I lost track of time.”

A horrified gasp escaped your mother’s lips. “(Y/N)! Your mark!” She whispered, grabbing your wrist.

In the Fire Nation, everyone had the first words their soulmate would every say to them imprinted on their wrist. However, it was considered improper to display your mark in public. Anything having to do with soulmates was considered private, intimate, and extremely personal. To show your mark to the public, when you haven’t met your soulmate yet, would be considered betraying your soulmate’s trust before you’d even met them. Your parents seemed to believe in this idea more than most. They’d gone to extreme lengths to make sure no one other than themselves, Lotty, and yourself had seen the mark.

You glanced down, reading the words you’d read a hundred times over: “Your shoe is untied.”

“Here,” your mother huffed, handing you her own wrist cuffs. Her mark was gone, disappeared the first day she had met your father. You slipped on the cuffs, watching the words disappear under the bronze metal. “And next time, be more careful!” Your mother scolded you.

You rolled your eyes. But before you could respond, the front gates opened. A palanquin, painted blood red with regal gold detailing, appeared through the gates. Held up by four exhausted-looking palanquin bearers and flanked by guards, it was a statement of royalty that could not be ignored. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the pomp of it all.

“It’s a bit excessive, don’t you think?” You snorted. Your father glared at you, but cracked a smile nonetheless.

Gauzy white curtains fluttered in the wind as the palanquin bearers strode their way up to the house. In between the curtains you caught a glimpse of a high ebony ponytail, a flaming crimson scar, and two golden, piercing eyes. Eyes widening with surprise, you quickly averted your gaze, a shiver racing down your spine. What was that? After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the palanquin finally stopped in front of your family.

“Please bow for Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation!” One of the guards barked, dropping to one knee. Immediately all of the other guards followed. You slipped into a low bow, watching out of the corner of your eye as the palanquin bearers parted the curtains for the prince to descend.

You’d expected to find the prince revolting. When you imagined meeting him before, his image only conjured anger over the war, anger over all of the injustices you’d heard of over the years. But when the prince emerged from the palanquin, you didn’t feel anger; instead, you felt your heart skip a beat.

Tall and regal, Prince Zuko had a commanding presence that seemed to wrap around your heart and squeeze. You’d always heard that the royal family was cold and calculated- but the prince reeked of raw emotion. He did not smile- or show any expression at all- but his presence emanated raw angst. And those eyes. Once again, the flash of molten amber met yours, one eye haloed in dark red, and sent a jolt down your spine. Looking into his eyes, you felt as if you could watch the gears in his head turn and twist as he studied you. All of his turmoil, rage, and sorrow swirled in those pools of amber, shaking you to your core. He narrowed his eyes, his gaze of liquid gold seeming to find something interesting in you.

You knew it was improper to hold his gaze for so long, but you couldn’t look away. He was incredible, yet turbulent; beautiful, but terrifying. Part of your brain saw him and thought he was nothing more than a teenage boy. The other part screamed that he was nothing but another killer.

“Prince Zuko, it is an honor to have you with us,” your father greeted in a booming voice. He clasped his hands behind his back and stood to attention, looking very much like the important official he was. “I am Executive (L/N). This is my wife, (Y/M/N), and my child, (Y/N).”

“Thank you for hosting me. It is a pleasure to meet all of you.” Zuko replied, his voice quieter than you expected.

“We hope the home is to your liking. If you need anything at all during your stay, feel free to take full advantage of the staff,” your mother said with a gracious smile.

The prince dipped his head in a subtle nod. “I appreciate your hospitality.” He paused, gaze sliding to yours once again. His eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly. “You’re (Y/N)?”

You simply nodded. It seemed better not to speak than to speak and say something out of turn (which, as your mother liked to complain, was a frequent and annoying habit of yours).

The prince walked forward until he was standing just a few paces away. He continued to study you up and down, face devoid of emotion. Finally, he remarked in a flat tone, “Your shoe is untied.”

Immediately all of the blood drained from your face. Underneath your cuff, your wrist burned. Your mother let out a small gasp, her excitement palpable. But you felt nothing but dread.

This is impossible. It has to be! Your thoughts raced frantically. Your heart began to thump loudly in your chest, fueled by panic-induced adrenaline. It had to be fake. It had to be.

Because if it wasn’t, than that meant that the crown prince- heir to the throne- of the nation you hated was your soulmate.

You glanced to the side and caught Lotty’s eye. She was practically jumping up and down with excitement, coaxing you to say something. Of course, she, your mother, and your father all knew your words. They knew that Prince Zuko’s first words to you were the first words your soulmate would say to you. No doubt they thought this was a good thing, a cause for celebration. How could they not realize Prince Zuko being your soulmate was the last thing you wanted?

A bead of sweat traveled down the back of your neck. Your father nudged you inconspicuously, prodding you to say something. But you couldn’t. Because those words would cement you as the crown prince’s soulmate.

Suddenly, an idea popped into your head. If speaking would make you Prince Zuko’s soulmate, then you just wouldn’t speak at all.

You clamped your mouth shut, choosing to nod again instead of replying. The prince raised an eyebrow, tension thickening in the air as he waited for a response.

“Excuse my (Y/N).” Your mother laughed suddenly, breaking the tension. She placed a hand on your shoulder in a seemingly harmless gesture, but her nails dug into your skin. “They can be so forgetful sometimes!”

The Prince’s eyes never left yours. “I understand.” He said flatly. His gaze lingered on you a moment longer before he turned away, towards your father.

“You must be tired after your journey. Let me show you to your quarters.” Your father said, lowering himself into a bow.

“Thank you.” The prince replied. He nodded to the palanquin bearers to bring his luggage forward.

“Come, right this way.” Your father directed him towards the entrance. They walked inside, thankfully releasing you from the prince’s presence.

You exhaled slowly, feeling some of your anxiety melt away that the prince was gone. However, your mother’s tension was clearly rising.

“What were you thinking?” She hissed, nails digging deep into your shoulder. “Refusing to speak to a royal! Spirits, (Y/N), I knew you could be headstrong but- but- this!”

Quickly, you looked around for the prince before turning back to your mother. “You heard what he said to me. It matches.”

“I know!” She squealed. “All the more reason to speak to him! You don’t want to insult your future husband more than you already have, do you?”

“Future husband?!” Heat rushed to your cheeks. “Spirits, mother, I just met him!”

“Darling, he’s your soulmate.” Your mother’s voice softened along with her grip on your shoulder. She smiled gently, her other hand raising to caress your cheek. “You two will be together, whether you want to or not.”

You swatted your mother’s hand away, a furious blush scorching your cheeks. “We don’t know that he’s my soulmate. After all, I haven’t even spoken to him yet.”

Your mother’s eyes narrowed and she leaned back, crossing her arms. “So that’s why you refuse to speak to the prince?”

You simply looked away. Lotty caught your gaze, concern swimming in her eyes.

Your mother scoffed. “Don’t be a coward, (Y/N). You have a great opportunity here. You could rule alongside the Firelord, and bring glory to our family!”

You turned away, anger simmering inside of you. “I’m not a coward. And I don’t want to rule beside the Firelord.”

Your mother opened her mouth to reply, face red with rage, but before she could, a servant came out of the front doors and rang the dinner bell.

“This is not over.” Your mother glowered, sweeping past you towards the dining hall. You sighed, about to follow, but stopped for a moment. Glancing down, you groaned. Your shoe really was untied.

~~~

The night was cool and clear. A breeze drifted lazily through your open window, bringing sounds of toad-crickets and beetle-sparrows with it. The last embers of a dying fire crackled in the fireplace. Under your mountain of blankets, you should have been fast asleep. Instead, you were wide awake, the day’s events replaying over and over again in your head. Having a soulmate was terrifying enough, but having the prince of the Fire Nation as a soulmate? That was something else entirely.

Throwing back your covers, you slipped out of bed, abandoning your futile attempts at sleep. You lit a candle and silently left your room, making your way towards your favorite spot in the house. It was a small balcony situated just off of the hallway leading to the servants quarters. Small and hidden from outside view thanks to some nearby trees, it was the perfect place to hide and think. You often found yourself seated there on nights you couldn’t sleep, listening to the cicada-frogs until you were tired enough to go back to your room.

You quietly opened the door to the balcony, looking forward to the solitude, but that night it seemed you had company.

Prince Zuko sat on the weathered stone, staring up at the stars with a dying candle next to him. His head turned as you opened the door.

Panic flared in your chest and you immediately receded, but before you could retreat fully, the prince’s voice called out to you, “Wait!”

You paused, your heart hammering in your chest. Your mind screamed at you to ran back to your room and forget the interaction had ever occurred, but something compelled you forward. Slowly, you opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony.

Zuko was staring at you inquisitively, like you were a puzzle he was trying to piece together. A slight blush colored his cheeks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take your spot. I couldn’t sleep.”

You didn’t respond.

The prince’s face suddenly soured and his hand curled into a fist. “Why won’t you speak to me?” He yelled, features scrunched in rage.

Your eyes widened, a jolt of fear electrifying your heart, until you remembered who you were. Yes, you were technically one of Prince Zuko’s future subjects. But you were also not one to be bullied.

Crossing your arms, you glared at the prince, daring him to yell at you again.

It seemed to work. The rage melted into annoyance. Zuko huffed, blowing a stray lock of hair out of his eyes, and turned his attention back to the stars. “You’re very frustrating.”

You cracked a smile and slowly relaxed a bit.

“You have a nice house. Do you like it here?” Zuko asked, doing his best to appear nonchalant.

You grinned and shook your head, as if to say, Your tricks won’t work on me.

Instantly, Zuko’s demeanor changed. He become more guarded, more shrouded in angst. “Do you want to know the real reason I’m here?” He started suddenly. He waited for your slow nod before continuing. “My father thinks there’s a spy here.”

Shock sliced through your chest despite your attempts to appear indifferent. A spy? At your house? You shook your head. It was impossible.

Zuko turned to you again, his gaze suspicious. “Maybe I should be looking at you more closely. Maybe you won’t speak to me because you’re the traitor.”

A laugh burst out of your mouth. You, a spy? You certainly had your qualms with the Fire Nation, but your town was tiny and your father barely let you talk to anyone outside of his own circle.

“I know you hate me!” Zuko snarled. “Everyone knows you hate the Fire Nation and the royal family. Who else would betray their country but you?”

You stayed silent, unsure whether to be afraid of Zuko or laugh at him. His anger was impressive to be sure, but it was all bark, no bite. It was a facade to protect himself from his true feelings. You could see that it in his eyes.

Finally, Zuko looked away, a frustrated groan escaping his lips. He leaned against his knee, his other leg sprawled out on the cobblestone. He radiated nonchalance, but there was an uneasiness in his stature that betrayed the turmoil raging beyond his perfectly-measured exterior. Slowly, you reached out with your hand and placed your palm on his shoulder, trying to convey as much compassion as you could in the touch. You knew Zuko didn’t really think you were the spy; if he did, you would have already been in a Fire Nation prison.

The prince shrugged your hand off, still refusing to look at you, but you could see some of the anger dissipate from his frame. Cautiously, you sat down against the opposite railing, keeping your gaze on Zuko. For a minute, the two of you simply sat in silence, you waiting for Zuko to say something and Zuko too proud to do so.

Finally, Zuko broke the tension with a sigh. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Things are just a bit... complicated, at the moment.”

You found yourself nodding in agreement.

Zuko glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “You can talk, can’t you?”

You smirked teasingly. Zuko grunted and looked away, running a hand through his unkempt raven hair.

“Good. Glad to know I didn’t just yell at a mute person for not being able to speak.”

A quiet laugh escaped your lips. Zuko whipped his head to you in surprise, his blush deepening. Despite your determination to hate the prince, a blush of your own warmed your cheeks. 

“I’m... glad I was able to talk to you tonight. Even if you didn’t talk back. Lotty said you’d probably come out here, but I wasn’t sure if you'd be here,” Zuko said.

You frowned. Of course Lotty had told him where to find you. She may not have been your parents, but she definitely thought highly of the royal family and would be thrilled if the prince was indeed your soulmate. 

“Don’t blame her. I asked her to tell me,” Zuko reassured you quickly, seeing your frown.

You nodded; of course you didn't blame her. Suddenly, you yawned, a wave of fatigue washing over you.

“You’re tired.” Zuko stated, regaining the calm, princely demeanor he wore earlier in the day. You nodded again, crossing your arms to keep yourself warm in the cool night air. “Let me walk you back to your room.” He offered, standing up and holding out his hand. Quickly, you shook your head, launching to your feet. If one of the servants saw, rumors would no doubt spread like wildfire. Besides, you were trying your best to dislike Prince Zuko, and every second you spent with him was waning away your hatred. It was better to stay away.

Zuko’s outstretched hand fell to his side. His face settled into a steely glare and he raised his chin slightly, trying his best (but failing) to appear unaffected. “Fine. Until tomorrow, then.”

You paused, part of you wanting to stay back. Instead, you bowed hastily and retreated from the deck, quickly walking back to the safety of your room. When you were safely nestled under your blankets, heart racing from the encounter, you finally allowed yourself to breathe fully.

In the matter of a few hours, your life had become more complicated than it had ever been before. There could be a spy in your midst, you may have found your soulmate, and that soulmate may have been the crown prince of the Fire Nation. Despite the thoughts running through your head, however, you found yourself yawning. Burying yourself deeper into your pillows, sleep slowly tugged at your brain, sinking you deeper and deeper into darkness. But your thoughts of Prince Zuko spiraled with you, until, when you finally tumbled into sleep’s warm embrace, it was Zuko’s amber eyes that watched you fall.

~~~

The next morning, you decided you needed to do whatever possible to avoid the prince. You couldn’t risk another meeting with him, especially after your meeting from the night before, which had left you with certain... sympathetic thoughts towards Zuko. So when Lotty came into your room that morning, you proclaimed sudden illness and told her to leave you for the rest of the day. “To prevent the sickness from spreading to the prince,” you had claimed. Lotty, thankfully, had obediently left you alone and promised no one would come to see you. However, you still felt defenseless in your room, susceptible to a visit from Zuko. Thus, you found yourself following a path towards the back of the gardens, searching for seclusion. The gardens, lush, green, and sprawling across a whole acre, provided plenty of solitary clearings and hidden grottos to hide in. As you walked through a tunnel of trees towards the back edge of the gardens, you felt the tension from the past day melt from your shoulders. Vines spilled from trees and onto the path, dotted with Fire Lilies in bloom. The intoxicating smell worked its way into your muscles and dissipated the stress. Finally, as you reached the end of the path, you pushed through one last wall of leaves, feeling the last of your anxiousness fade away with the promise of solitude-

You gasped and immediately withdrew, your heart beginning to thump in your chest. Where you were sure you would find solitude, a moment of peace and quiet, you found something else entirely- Lotty. And, to make matters worse, she was speaking with Prince Zuko. 

Luckily, the pair didn’t notice your presence. They were too busy arguing to notice you behind the wall of vines. 

“Please, your Highness, have mercy!” Lotty was saying, a tremble in her voice. Peeking between the vines, you watched her sink to her knees in front of the Prince, her head bowed and hands clasped together.

Zuko’s face was scrunched up in anger, cheeks red. Faint wisps of steam curled outwards from his clenched fists. “You are a traitor to your country. How dare you ask for mercy, after all you’ve done?!” He shouted.

“I know I don’t deserve it. I know I don’t deserve your kindness. But, please, your Highness... for the sake of the girl... for the family... spare me!” Lotty whispered, face wide-open and terrified.

“When I was thirteen, my father permanently scarred me for speaking out of turn. If I didn’t receive mercy, you won’t either,” Zuko snarled. “Espionage is a far worse crime than foolishness.”

Your eyes widened. The spy. Lotty was the spy!

Lotty, the woman who had practically raised you. Lotty, the woman who had cooked for you, cleaned for you, and taken care of you your whole life. Lotty, who loved the Fire Nation so ardently- had betrayed your family to the rebels.

You sagged against the tree, shock paralyzing your limbs. She had betrayed you. And now, she was going to receive her punishment.

You forced yourself to look back through the curtain of vines, hands shaking. 

“I’m sorry, Prince Zuko-” Lotty gasped, shielding her face. Zuko had a blazing fireball poised in his hand.

“Apologies won’t save you now.” Zuko growled. Raising his arm to strike, the fire cast monstrous shadows over the scene, highlighting Lotty’s terrified expression. You watched as her eyes widened, fraught with the knowledge that she was about to meet her doom- and before you knew what you were doing, you were running towards her, screaming at Zuko to stop.

“Don’t you touch her!” You cried, skidding in front of Lotty just as Zuko prepared to strike.

Zuko’s fireball disappeared.

Chest heaving, you glared daggers at Zuko. “If you want to get to her, you’ll have to go through me.”

Zuko’s mouth dropped open in horror, his face becoming pale. “No,” he whispered, a look of horrible realization dawning over his face. He ripped off the cuff on his right wrist, exposing his pale skin and the black words inked into his flesh:

“Don’t you touch her.”

His eyes met yours, panic filling his gaze. “What does yours say?” He whispered, his voice eager yet terrified.

You slipped your cuff off and your own words came to light. The words on yours and Zuko’s wrists began to turn golden from the inside, shining brighter and brighter until the words vanished from your wrists in a blaze of light, confirming the worst.

You and Prince Zuko really were soulmates.

Except, after seeing what he was capable of, you knew you'd never love him.

[melzula]

Refined Taste

pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader

notes: an anon requested some more Iroh and Princess content so I delivered hehe

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

The soft whistle of the boiling tea pot is a welcomed sound that brings you a great sense of peace and comfort as you work in the kitchen of the Jasmine Dragon. Few customers occupy the shop as they sit and chat over cups of tea and mini cakes— a limited time only delicacy curtesy of the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe— and with a lull in the crowd after a very busy day at work, you’re happy to spend your free time chatting away with Iroh.

Today marked the fourth day of Zuko’s much needed slumber, so while you waited for him to wake you spent your time revisiting old friends and places in Ba Sing Se. You said hello to Miss Tai and bought three new dresses to help support her small business, you went out for a pleasant lunch date with Jin, and, something you were admittedly embarrassed about doing, you spent your evenings wistfully gazing out your window in hopes of spotting the Blue Spirit. It was odd being back in the place that held some of your happiest and some of your darkest memories, but you loved it all the same. During the day you made sure to check on Zuko as he slept, and when your presence was no longer needed you made yourself useful by helping Iroh run the Jasmine Dragon.

The events that had occurred in Yu Dao had almost been disastrous, but with the help of Katara and the residents of the colony Aang was finally able to see that Zuko had been right all along. You stayed on the sidelines just as you had told Zuko you would, it wasn’t your place to interfere, but now that things had settled and King Kue was willing to negotiate you would be attending the meeting as a representative for the South and to offer any aid you could. However, such a council could not take place until Zuko awoke, and so you found yourself in the company of Uncle Iroh.

“I don’t even want to imagine what my nephew’s life would be like without your courage and support,” Iroh says over the boiling water. “Thank you again for bringing him to me, y/n. Spirits know he wouldn’t have come on his own, he’s too stubborn.”

“Well, I did have some help from Aang,” you admit with a quiet laugh, “but you don’t need to thank me. I love Zuko, and I’ll always look out for his best interests.”

“So you’ve proven time and time again. He is lucky to have you, you know. Very lucky.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” you smile, gazing down bashfully at the sleeves of your dress. “But Zuko’s also lucky to have you.”

“He is lucky to have both of us. I mean, we are an excellent team,” Iroh says with a wink. Your shared laughter quiets at the sound of careful footsteps making their way into the room, and you feel your heart swell with love and adoration at the sight of a sleepy Zuko standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Well, look who finally decided to wake up!”

“Hi sleepyhead,” you say with a smile, rising from your seat to meet him halfway. Zuko is grateful for your touch as you rest a hand upon his cheek and press your lips against his own in a delicate kiss. You taste of honey and ginger, your intoxicating scent of fire lilies invading his senses, and though Zuko wishes he could kiss you with fervency, he settles for one last lingering kiss before finally parting from you; making out in front of his Uncle is something he’d rather not do, so he composes himself.

“How are you feeling?” Iroh asks, watching with an amused smile on his face as you and Zuko immediately cling to each other. Your arms wind around one another and hold each other close, and the love you share is enough to warm the old man’s heart. Yes, Zuko is in very good hands.

“Better,” Zuko notes faintly, “but tired.”

“I’ll make you a nice cup of green tea to wake you up a bit,” the man says as he immediately gets to work.

“Let’s go sit down,” you suggest, taking Zuko’s hand and guiding him towards one of the empty tables in the shop. He seats himself with a yawn and smiles gratefully as you take off your warm shawl and drape it over his shoulders before pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Hungry? There’s still some mini cakes left over.”

“Are there any strawberry cakes?” He asks with a meek smile.

“But of course! What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t make my boyfriend his favorite kind of mini cakes? I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you,” Zuko calls after your retreating form, hearts in his eyes as he watches you disappear behind the curtains. Would it be selfish of him to ask you to be his Fire Lady right now?

Iroh leaves the kitchen with a pot of tea just as you walk in to fetch Zuko his cake. You make sure to grab the one with the most strawberries and extra frosting, the way he likes it, and set it neatly onto a plate before returning to your beloved. Aang is now seated across from him, and so you say nothing as you place his food before him and sit down beside Zuko.

“—Since Roku’s my past life, in a way you’re my family, Zuko. And no matter how hard I’ve tried, I’ve never been able to detach myself from those sorts of bonds,” Aang laments. “It’s a flaw, I know, but it’s one I’ve decided to accept, for this life at least.”

“You’re not the one who’s flawed, Aang,” Zuko sighs. “Why can’t the struggle get easier for me? Even just a little? Sometimes I wonder how long I’ll last.”

He doesn’t meet your gaze when the confession leave his lips, but the way in which Zuko reaches over and tightly grabs hold of your hand is enough. Your heart breaks at his words and you desperately wish you could ease his pain and worries, but you know that being here by his side is enough for now. And you’ll be by his side whenever he needs you to be.

“You know, in that dream, a woman stood with us on that mountaintop watching from the shadows. I think she was my mother...”

“Sometimes, dreams are the way a person’s spirit reveals the answer to his own problems,” Iroh notes wisely. Then, with a humorous smile on his face, “but, then again, sometimes they are just the result of eating spicy food before going to bed.”

“Maybe finding my mother would connect me to a part of my heritage that isn’t so murky and confusing,” Zuko notes thoughtfully. “Maybe then I’d finally find peace. I’ve never told anyone this, but right after I became Fire Lord I sent out search party after search party looking for her. I even hired June and her shirshu. They all came back empty handed. What can I do now that I haven already tried?”

“It’s a new world, Zuko. You need to take some new risks,” Aang says wisely.

“We all do,” you agree, your mind already beginning to drift elsewhere as you calculate how long you can stay away from home without being missed too much.

“Speaking of risks,” Iroh cuts in with a smile as he presents three glass of odd looking to your trio, “why don’t you all try this brand-new beverage I invented?”

“What is it?” You ask curiously, taking the glass Zuko hands to you and swirling the odd looking balls at the bottom of it with your straw.

“Well first, I cook tapioca balls until they’re soft and tender. Then I put them in the tea, where they sit like little pearl-sized snacks at the bottom of each cup! Add a little milk and— ta-da!— a revolution in tea is born!”

Zuko and Aang share uneasy glances with each other before slowly taking sips from their glasses only to immediately cringe the moment the tapioca balls hit their their tongues.

“What is that trying to sneak into my mouth?!” Zuko exclaims after promptly spitting out the pearls.

“Wow,” Aang chuckles nervously, “I’ve never had tea that’s quite so... chewy.”

“It seems I am a man ahead of my time,” Iroh says sadly, his eyes casted downward to the floor. However, the noisy sound of a straw directs all attention towards the smiling Princess and interrupts his bout of sadness. Oblivious to the gazes of your friends set upon you, you happily suck the last of your tea from the glass until it’s completely empty. It’s only once your drink is gone do you finally notice the strange looks sent your way by Zuko and Aang.

“What?” You retort with furrowed brows. “It’s really good.”

“Finally, someone with taste!” Iroh exclaims happily at your praise. “It appears I am a revolutionary after all.”

“You actually like that stuff?” Zuko says flabbergasted.

“It’s just tea, but different,” you shrug, grinning when Zuko hands you his leftover drink to finish for him. “However, the only thing I would add is some ice. It tastes better cold.”

“Genius!” The tea maker compliments, watching in awe as you bend ice cubes of your own to plop into the glass. “Y/n, you must come to the Jasmine Dragon more often, I could use your refined taste.”

“‘Refined’ is a strong word,” Zuko murmurs only for you to elbow his side. “Ow! What did I say?”

“I’d be happy to, Uncle,” you say with a sweet smile.

“I think I know who the new favorite is,” Aang jokes only for Zuko to roll his eyes. However, he can’t help the smile that grows on his face as he watches you and his Uncle interact together. It was safe to say you hadn’t made a good impression on his sister or his father, but the only thing Zuko really cared about was his Uncle, and from what he could see the two of you were like peas in a pod. Faintly, Zuko wondered if you would be the same way with his mother.

“What are you thinking about?” You whisper to the Fire Lord, immediately taking notice of his far off look.

“About you,” Zuko admits to your surprise, “and how much I love you. And how I’m really glad you’re here.”

Heat spreads its way across your face and you smile bashfully at his profession, resting your head upon his shoulder as you converse with Aang. Though Zuko hates to keep you away from home longer than you need to be, he knows he’ll need your help with something else. But before he can ask you, there’s one person he still needs to see before he can begin his next journey.

He needs to talk to Azula.

| tags: @rainteslerrrr @simpinforsukka @sirkekselord @protect-remus @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @coldlilheart @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @draqondance @taeeemin @user12345321 @just--artemis--with--ghost @titaniafire @dekahg @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @lozzybowe @izzieserra @melacholy @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @djskfkdkkf @xapham @yeetletzgetitjae @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @neighborhoodpansexualdisaster @noodlesfluffy @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch

[reinerispretty]

reminiscence. (? x f!reader) pt10

hello!!!!!! we r back with another edition of this fic hehe. thank u all for ur support, i appreciate u so much! it’s also five am and i am not even tired so rip. 

also!! who do u think reader should end up with? i have it decided but i’m willing to hear reasoning and perhaps be persuaded ;)

pt1

pt9

pt11

“So, where do we find this Iroh guy?” Mako asked.

“You think he has any relation to General Iroh?” Bolin questioned. “I mean, how many Iroh’s can there really be, y’know?”

“He’s Iroh as in, Zuko and Iroh,” Korra informed them, and Bolin let out a shocked gasp. While she was nervous about getting her memories back, (Y/N) would definitely be grateful not to be absolutely lost when things were discussed.

A Republic City winter was nothing compared to a South Pole winter. (Y/N) was cold while she slept, cold while she moved, cold while she stood still! Korra’s mom had her wrapped up in so many different coats, furs, and blankets that she waddled while she walked. “How are you okay right now?” She asked Korra as they walked to breakfast together. “I feel like my nose is going to fall off.” 

Korra looked back and flashed her a smile. “It’s all I’ve ever known! You just kind of get used to it.” (Y/N) frowned. She couldn’t imagine ever getting used to weather like this. 

As they sat and ate their breakfast--(Y/N) tried to eat, but the layers made it hard to bend her elbows--they discussed their plan for the day. Led by Tonraq, they would travel by snowmobile to the Spirit World Portal. It was a long trip, so they would have to camp for the night, but the next day they would be trekking through the Spirit World looking for answers. “It’s warm there,” Korra said, nudging (Y/N) with her elbow. She smiled gratefully. 

She decided to ride on the back of Korra’s snowmobile. Bolin would be on the back of Asami’s and while Mako also had his own, (Y/N) wasn’t sure if she wanted to have her arms wrapped around him for the entire trip, especially when they hadn’t discussed the things that happened between them. Her and Mako hadn’t discussed things at all, really. She knew they were on better terms since the first time they met, but he was so guarded and she was so scared that anything Mako had to say to her, she might not want to hear. 

So, she waddled over to Korra’s snowmobile. “Mind if I ride with you?” She asked as Korra secured their supplies. 

“Not at all!” Korra said, her face lighting up. Then she cleared her throat and turned her eyes back to tying knots. “Just be sure you hold on tight, okay?” (Y/N) nodded, managing a joking salute. 

She wrapped her arms around Korra’s middle as tightly as she could, but it must not have been enough because as soon as Korra hit the gas, (Y/N) was flung off, landing on her back in the snow. She let out a shout of surprise, followed by a groan as she opened her eyes and saw Korra staring down at her. She wore a humored smile on her face. “I told you to hold on tight!” 

“I was!” (Y/N) insisted as Korra helped her get back to her feet. She pulled some rope from their side pouch and wrapped it around (Y/N’s) waist, then tied it to her own.

“We do this for little kids sometimes, so they don’t get lost in the snow.” (Y/N) narrowed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at her. Korra laughed at the childishness and helped her get back on the snowmobile. Then they were off, (Y/N) much more secured this time around. 

As they rode through the snowy hills, (Y/N) leaned her head on Korra’s back, taking in the sights of the Southern Water Tribe. Far out where the sea was, icy glaciers poked through the inky waters, shimmering against the sunlight. Everything was rather sparkly; if (Y/N) looked at the snow for too long her eyes felt sore. She turned her head and waved a gloved hand at Bolin, who gave her a thumbs up from his position behind Asami. 

Sometimes, when she looked at Bolin, it physically hurt her heart. She knew it was some sort of physical reaction, something her body remembered that her head didn’t. The feeling increased when he had referred to them as being friends. There was nothing wrong with being friends, in fact she supposed that was better than any other alternative, but even now she had always thought there was something more between them. Perhaps she had interpreted everything wrong. There was a giant piece of her memory missing, after all, and all she knew was that she had really messed up Bolin when she had left. It was probably better if they were just friends. Bolin was great and she didn’t want to lose him a second time. 

Their ride was so long that (Y/N) had eventually fallen asleep against Korra’s back, only to be awoken by the snowmobile coming to a jolted stop. She awoke and squeaked in fear, gripping on tighter to Korra. 

“Sorry!” She said. “I’ve never been really good at breaking.” 

“You’re going to tell me that after I spent hours on a giant metal deathtrap with you?” (Y/N) huffed. 

“It wasn’t that bad considering you were snoring into my back,” Korra quipped, quickly turning herself around so she could untie them. “You sounded like a lion turtle.” 

“I don’t even know what that is, but I’m sure you’re wrong.” (Y/N) slid off the snowmobile and began untying the packs. 

“Lion turtles used to carry cities on their backs and bestow the gift of bending to humans occasionally.” 

“Think we’ll find one in the Spirit World to grant me some powers?” (Y/N) asked. “What element do you think I’d bend? I think fire’s pretty cool but-” 

“Oh, you’d be an airbender for sure,” Korra said as she hoisted two packs onto her back. (Y/N’s) face lit up.

“Really! Why do you think that? Is it because of my calm and collected nature?” 

“It’s because you talk so much,” Korra explained. “You’re constantly bending air with your mouth.” She booped (Y/N) on the nose before making her way to the rest of the group. 

“You’re hilarious! (Y/N) called after her, gathering her own packs onto her back. “Why don’t you stop being the Avatar and become a comedian instead!” 

They set up their tents and made fire, which was easy work considering two out of the six people in the party were firebenders. As soon as (Y/N) finished her tasks she sat in front of the fire. She was probably too close, but she didn’t care. It’s warmth, albeit small, made her feel just a smidge less cold than she had been, and she’d take it. The rest of their group soon joined her, Asami sitting on one side and Korra sitting on the other. She appreciated the girls protecting her from any awkwardness that could potentially ensue from being near the boys. 

“I’m thinking when we get to the Spirit World, we’ll try our luck at finding Iroh,” Korra explained. “He’s always got spirits around him, maybe one of them will know who took (Y/N’s) memories.”

“And if they don’t?” Mako questioned. “We can’t just wander around the Spirit World hoping for some clue.” 

“Maybe I’ll start remembering again,” (Y/N) suggested. “Like when Bolin took me to the spot where we met. I got that memory back.” 

“You also threw up and passed out from that,” Asami reminded her. (Y/N) pursed her lips. 

“I can handle it,” (Y/N) reassured them. “At this point, I’ll do whatever it takes to get my memories back.” 

“The Spirit World is magnificent, but it’s also dangerous,” Tonraq said. Night had fallen, and his face was illuminated only by the fire. “They might not be happy to see humans there, especially after what happened last time.” 

“I’m the Avatar,” Korra said. “They have to at least listen to me.” 

“I just want you all to be careful. Whatever took (Y/N’s) memories has to be powerful. Maybe dangerous.” 

“We’ll be careful, Dad,” Korra reassured her father. Tonraq trusted his daughter’s abilities, that was obvious, but the worry he held for her was still evident on his features. (Y/N) swallowed, her mouth feeling dry. She hadn’t really considered that this could be a dangerous mission. If she was being honest, she had never really thought this far ahead. She had spent every day maneuvering around the different dynamics of the four friends, making sure that she didn’t overstep her boundaries or create unnecessary problems. She hadn’t considered what would be waiting for them on the other side of the Spirit Portal, or that the people she had grown to cherish would be put in danger for her sake. 

Asami passed around their food and (Y/N) ate silently, considering this information. Her friends talked around her, but she was so distracted that their comments went in one ear and out the other. Once she finally zoned back in, it was just her, Korra, and Mako sitting around the fire. 

Korra let out a big yawn, stretching her arms. “I’m absolutely beat,” She said. “I think I’m gonna turn in. You coming?” (Y/N) shook her head.

“I think I’ll stay near the warmth just a little longer.” Korra nodded and gave them a sloppy salute as she waded through the snow and to the tent she shared with Asami and (Y/N). It was just her and Mako now. 

She stared at the flames of the fire and how they danced in the cold night air. Should she say something to Mako? This was the first time they had been alone together and neither of them had immediately made up somewhere else they needed to be. They’d be heading to the Spirit World tomorrow, so if there was any time for them to communicate, it should be now. 

(Y/N) adjusted her coat, huddling further inside it. “Want me to make it bigger?” Mako asked, and (Y/N) nearly jumped, surprised to hear him talking to her. She looked at him, eyes wide and not quite understanding what he was talking about. “The fire, you want me to make it bigger?” 

“Oh, no, that’s okay,” She said. Mako stared at her for a moment before making the fire larger and while she had said she hadn’t wanted that, (Y/N) was grateful. It was so hard to be straightforward with Mako sometimes, because of the way he jumbled her brain. It was like she didn’t even recognize herself when she was around him anymore. Before, only one emotion accompanied being around Mako, and that was anger. Now, (Y/N) felt a whole range of emotions when she looked at his amber eyes. “I think we should talk,” She said finally, wincing at how small her voice sounded. 

“I think so too,” And he gave her a half smile. (Y/N) nodded, but both of them remained silent. How should she start? How did people even communicate properly? Perhaps the thing (Y/N) was most excited about getting her memories back was how to talk to people normally. She felt so awkward! 

“Why’d you kiss me?” She asked suddenly, her face heating from embarrassment. Mako’s eyebrows shot to the top of his forehead. 

“Oh,” He coughed. “I mean, well, it’s a little--it’s like--” (Y/N) couldn’t help giggling. “What’s so funny?” 

“Nothing!” She insisted, biting down her smile. “You just...you seem so tough and confident and aloof sometimes that it’s funny to see you act so...” 

“Embarrassing?” He guessed. (Y/N) shook her head. 

“Normal?” She tilted her head and shrugged. “You don’t always have to wear this tough guy act, you know.” 

“It’s not an act,” Mako insisted, but he and (Y/N) exchanged a look that had them both stifling back their laughter. “Maybe sometimes. People believe you’re tough if you act like it. Keeps you from getting your stuff stolen when you’re sleeping in a gutter.” 

“You grew up on the streets?” (Y/N) guessed. Mako nodded. 

“Sometimes I forget what you know and what you don’t.” 

“Me too, if we’re being honest.” They paused into a silence that wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, just full of anticipation. “They teach you how to dodge questions on the streets, too?” 

Mako sighed, running a hand through his black hair. “It’s not easy for me to explain stuff like this. Bolin’s the one that can talk about emotions and feelings.” 

(Y/N) smiled. “Bolin can talk about anything.” 

“When we were arguing on that balcony, I wasn’t just angry at you for being here. You hurt Bolin a long time ago, but watching you be with my brother and knowing that I could never be with you...that hurt, too. You were so close to me that night and something inside of me said I should kiss you and once the idea popped into my head, I couldn’t get it out. I think I hoped that once I did it, it’d be some sort of release. Like a way to get it all out so I’d stop feeling like that.” 

“Was it?” 

Mako looked directly into her eyes. Normally, his gaze would make (Y/N) feel weird and she would have to look away. She couldn’t bring herself to do that tonight. 

“Not at all,” He admitted. “I thought I had gotten over you once you disappeared, but once you came back it all hit me full force.” 

(Y/N) thought for a moment about what she wanted to say. Then, she took a deep breath. “I don’t have any memories to base my feelings off of. But there are certain things, feelings, that I remember that I can’t place. They’re just there.” She placed a hand over her heart. “It happens when I look at Bolin. I remember feelings, like sadness and regret, but I don’t know why. It’s overwhelming sometimes, discerning emotions. The things that I feel for Bolin, they’re like past feelings that I’m remembering. Kind of.” She squinted her eyes shut. She wasn’t sure if she was explaining this right, but she was trying her best. “But when I look at you, now that the anger has subsided, I feel things now. Being around you feels nice and when you talk to me, I feel very...light and relieved. I can barely hold your gaze without blushing, and--and I think about you. A lot more than a friend should, I think.” 

“But,” She continued. “I don’t have all of my memories back. I don’t know how or why I left and I don’t know if things will change once I do.” 

“I get it,” Mako said. “As much as someone with memories can.” (Y/N) gave him a small smile. “And I don’t want to confuse you even more, because I’m sure being around Bolin is confusing enough as it is.” 

“You have no idea,” (Y/N) breathed. 

“I’m glad I told you. Almost two years and I finally admitted to my brother’s ex-girlfriend that I had a crush on her the whole time. This is a big day for me.” 

“The whole time?” (Y/N) questioned. “When did you realize that you liked me?” 

“I think Kya told us that we couldn’t share too much about the past with you, or else you might lose your memories forever?” (Y/N) pouted. “Fine, but if you can’t get your memories back, don’t blame me.” The wind picked up over them and he scooted closer to her so that he wouldn’t have to shout over it.

“Aye-aye, Captain,” (Y/N) said, giving a small salute. She rested her chin in the palm of her glove in order to pay attention. 

“There was this one time when you got to our place. Bolin wasn’t there yet, I think he was out performing tricks with Pabu. It was cold outside, one of the coldest days Republic City had had in a while. You came in and you were like an icicle. You were shaking and had forgotten your coat and decided to walk halfway across the city to our place. I gave you a blanket and one of Bolin’s coats, but your hands were still like ice, so I used a little firebending to warm them up.” Mako remembered the feeling of your hands completely encased in his. “I held your hands for a while, until they were warm enough. I got up to leave for work and you grabbed my hand and pulled me back down onto the couch. You said, ‘Stay, Mako! I love having you around.’ So, I stayed. We talked all day until Bolin got home, and I ended up losing that job, but spending that time with you made it all worth it.” 

(Y/N) sat silently for a long while before saying, “I’m sorry for making you lose your job.” 

Mako laughed. “It’s cool,” He said. “I wasn’t a very good delivery boy anyway.” 

(Y/N) pulled off her gloves, exposing her hands to the cold winter air. “Do you think you could...?” She offered her hands to Mako. He gave her a small smile and nodded, removing his own gloves and taking her hands in his. (Y/N) let out a happy sigh of relief at the feeling of warmth that emanated from his skin. 

“I’m sorry for being so mean to you at first,” Mako said. “I just didn’t want Bolin to get hurt again.” 

“I understand,” She said quietly. “I’d probably do the same if I were you.” Cautiously, she leaned her head on Mako’s shoulder. They sat like that for a long while, staring at the fire as Mako held her hands in his. While she was probably even more confused about her emotions than before, part of her hoped that whatever happened in the Spirit World wouldn’t change how she was feeling right now. She wanted to see where this could go. 

---

Once the cold became too much for either of them to bear, Mako and (Y/N) parted ways. Korra and Asami were fast asleep when she entered their tent and slid into her sleeping bag. She fell asleep quickly, her hands still warm, but it felt like she was asleep for only moments when Korra shook her awake in the morning. 

“One more hour,” (Y/N) grumbled, rolling over to avoid Korra’s gaze. The Avatar scoffed. 

“I already let you sleep in as late as possible!” She gently kicked (Y/N’s) butt. “Up! Spirit World today, woohoo!” A very groggy (Y/N) reluctantly left the warmth of her sleeping bag. The early morning sun was absolutely blinding as she walked out of the tent. (Y/N) let out an unhappy grumble. 

“Tea?” Asami offered, handing (Y/N) a thermos. (Y/N) smiled gratefully at her and took a long sip of the beverage, feeling it warm her from the inside out. 

“Thank you so much!” (Y/N) said. “I needed that.” 

“You were up pretty late,” Asami said, giving her a knowing smile. “Any particular reason?” (Y/N) shrugged playfully as she loaded her sleeping bag onto Korra’s snowmobile. 

“Mako and I finally talked.” 

“And? How’d that go?” Asami glanced over at Mako’s who sleepily nodded at whatever Bolin was excitedly saying to him. (Y/N) lightly slapped her friend’s arm. 

“Don’t stare!” She laughed. “It went fine. We talked about our feelings, actually.” Asami’s eyes widened in excitement and she opened her mouth to say something, but (Y/N) cut her off. “And while there are some feelings there, I told him how until I got my memories back, nothing could be certain.” 

Asami hummed in approval. “Seems like a good resolution.” 

“What’s a good resolution?” Korra came over to tie her own belongings to the snowmobile. 

“Mako and (Y/N) finally talked about their kiss.” 

“Woah!” Korra exclaimed. “Are you guys dating now?” 

“I’m missing like seventy-five percent of my memories and you think we’d be dating?” (Y/N) snipped. Korra shrugged. 

“I don’t know what goes on in your head!” 

“Like I told Asami, it was a good conversation. We talked about our feelings but I said that until I got my memories back, nothing could be done. I mean, what if I get them back and there was actually a non-Spirit World reason for why I was so awful to Bolin?” (Y/N) shook her head. “I was honest about how I felt and I think that’s good progress.”

“You know Korra,” Asami started. “Weren’t you telling me yesterday how much your bag hurt from having (Y/N) hold onto you?” 

“What? No?” Korra said, furrowing her dark brows. Asami elbowed her sharply in the side. 

“Remember? You said she held on too tight? Don’t you think that today you should ride on the snowmobile by yourself, since you’ll need to be at your best Avatar abilities in the Spirit World?” 

“I know what you guys are doing and I’m having absolutely none of it!” (Y/N) insisted. “I’m riding with Korra, end of story.” 

“Oh, I see what’s happening here,” Korra said. She placed her hands on her lower back. “Oh, yep, there’s definitely a tough knot there and it’s all (Y/N’s) fault. I don’t think I can ride on a snowmobile with you anymore.” 

“I thought the Avatar was supposed to bring peace, but all you’re causing is chaos,” (Y/N) hissed. 

“Hey, Mako!” Asami called out. Mako looked over to them, raising a questioning eyebrow as (Y/N) banged her head against the snowmobile. “Do you think (Y/N) can ride with you for today? Korra’s back is absolutely killing her.” 

“Ow~!” Korra drawled dramatically. 

“Uh, sure?” Mako questioned. He walked over to Korra’s vehicle and untied (Y/N’s) pack from it. “I think Tonraq said we were leaving in a few minutes, so I’ll be over there.” 

“Sounds great, she’ll be right there,” Asami said. 

“I’m not going,” (Y/N) said with a shake of her head. 

“I thought you said it was a good conversation?” Korra questioned. 

“You guys are so lucky I’m not a bender and I’m not very good at hand-to-hand combat because--” She shook her fist at both of them. “You’d be getting it!” She stomped over to Mako, a frown etched on her face. 

“Everything alright?” He asked. She let the frown fade from her face. 

“Everything’s fine,” She said with a sigh. “Korra and Asami are just being big pains.” 

“Don’t I know it.” Mako strapped his helmet and placed (Y/N’s) on top of her head, buckling it underneath her chin. He then tied a rope that connected the two of them, as Korra had done yesterday. “Safety first,” He said with a smile. (Y/N) felt her face flush as he helped her onto the snowmobile. Shyly, she wrapped her arms around his middle, and then they were off toward the Spirit World Portal. 

This trip was much shorter than the previous day’s. The portal was only an hour or two away from where they had camped. While (Y/N) was surprised that they had arrived so soon, there was no doubt that they were there, as the portal was a beam of warm yellow light that shot into the sky. It lay in the middle of the woods, only accessible by foot. 

They parked their snowmobiles on the outskirts of the woods. Tonraq began setting up his tent; they had agreed that someone should stay behind with a radio just in case anything went wrong and they needed backup. But to (Y/N’s) surprise, Asami was setting up her own tent as well. 

“You’re not coming with us?” She asked. Asami raised an eyebrow and shook her head. 

“We agreed before you woke up this morning that someone else should stay behind with Korra’s dad to help keep watch. You obviously need to go, as does Korra, and I knew Bolin and Mako would be absolutely horrible if they had no idea what was going on inside. So, I decided to stay.” 

(Y/N) frowned. While the reasoning was sound, it still made her sad that Asami wouldn’t be accompanying them on their journey. She and (Y/N) had developed a real friendship over the last few weeks. They had spent nearly all of their time together. It would be strange, not having her around. 

“Be safe, okay?” (Y/N) asked, throwing her arms around Asami and squeezing her into a hug. 

“You’re going into a completely new dimension and you’re telling me to be safe?” Asami laughed, but she wrapped her arms around (Y/N’s) frame and hugged tightly. “I can’t wait to hear all about your memories.” The two friends parted and (Y/N) lifted her pack onto her back. 

“Ready?” Korra asked, and she, Bolin, and Mako nodded. Their group said their goodbyes to Tonraq and Asami before Korra led them into the woods. 

“The last time I was here, I was frozen into a block of ice by an ex-girlfriend,” Bolin said. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at him. “It wasn’t you! It was Korra’s cousin from the Northern Water Tribe.” 

“The one with the evil dad?” (Y/N) asked. 

“That’s the one!” Bolin nodded. 

“This is it,” Korra said as they stopped in front of the Spirit World Portal. (Y/N) could feel its energy radiating from outside the forest, but now it was even more prominent. “Next stop, Spirit World.” She turned around to look at (Y/N), whose face looked as if she had seen a ghost. “Everything alright?” 

(Y/N) nodded, gulping. “I’m okay,” She nodded again, trying to convince herself that she was speaking the truth. What if getting her memories back wasn’t necessarily a good thing? Something had blocked them out. Perhaps they had done it for her own benefit. But they had come this far, so she remained silent as she stepped through the threshold and into the Spirit World. 

It was an odd feeling, transitioning between two planes. It felt like each particle of (Y/N’s) body was buzzing, until suddenly she was on the other side and staring at so many colors, some that she was sure she had never seen before. She released the breath she had been holding as she stepped through. 

Indescribable beings flew overhead, cawing and cooing at them. Korra had been right: the Spirit World was significantly warmer than the South Pole. The group removed their jackets as (Y/N) took in her surroundings. Currently, they stood in the middle of a rocky wasteland, but patches of flowers and grass popped up here and there. In the middle stood a gnarled tree with a hollowed out middle. 

“That’s the Tree of Time,” Korra explained. “That’s where the first Avatar had imprisoned Vaatu, the dark spirit that I defeated a month ago. His energy made this part of the Spirit World a wasteland, but it’s healing.” 

“It’s beautiful,” (Y/N) breathed, and Korra smiled. Their group walked across the barren land to the greener parts of the Spirit World. Butterfly-like animals flittered around them as they walked and Korra explained her many trips to this place. Mako and Bolin had been here as well, although they had never been further than the Tree of Time. That helped (Y/N) feel less out of place. 

“So, where do we find this Iroh guy?” Mako asked. 

“You think he has any relation to General Iroh?” Bolin questioned. “I mean, how many Iroh’s can there really be, y’know?” 

“He’s Iroh as in, Zuko and Iroh,” Korra informed them, and Bolin let out a shocked gasp. While she was nervous about getting her memories back, (Y/N) would definitely be grateful not to be absolutely lost when things were discussed. 

“There it is!” Korra exclaimed, and then she started running. The others dashed behind her, not quite sure of where she was going, until a small house appeared seemingly out of nowhere and they were right in front of it. A small tea party of spirits and one human sat at a table in the garden. 

“Korra!” The old man exclaimed. “Welcome back! We were just about to start afternoon tea.” He peaked behind her at her friends. “And you brought company! The more the better, I think I have some extra teacups in the house.” 

“Hi, Iroh,” Korra said. “We really appreciate it, but we don’t really have time--” But the old man was already headed inside his house. When he returned, he held four additional teacups and a bright smile on his face. 

“Sit, sit,” He insisted. Korra looked to (Y/N), who shrugged, and dropped her backpack to the ground and took a seat. If having tea was what she needed to do in order to get her memories back, then she would do it. “You!” Iroh said as he placed (Y/N’s) teacup in front of her. “I’ve heard many things about you. Welcome back.” 

“Back?” (Y/N) questioned, looking at her friends. “I’ve been here before?” 

“You are (Y/N), yes?” She nodded. “When Korra first visited me to ask about you, I did not know much.” He placed a hand to the side of his mouth. “Spirits are horrible gossips sometimes, and I did not want to lead the Avatar on a path different from the one you must take. But I have asked many a visitor about you and they have all said the same thing: you were here, not too long ago, but you were here for a while.” 

“Why was she here?” Mako questioned before (Y/N) could. Iroh sighed as he poured their tea. 

“Whatever the reason, it was not good. Many of my friends say they saw her enter the dark part of our realm and she did not leave for a long time.” 

“It’s true!” One of the spirits interjected, an oddly blue wolf. “I saw you months ago with my own four eyes. You looked nothing like you do now. You came through the portals, yeah? Last time, someone brought you here the other way.” 

“You mean through meditation?” Korra asked. The spirit nodded. 

“Whatever it was, something powerful had to do it. I couldn’t do nothing like that.” 

“So, powerful spirit in the dark parts of the Spirit World. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but it doesn’t sound like something a good spirit would do.” (Y/N) looked to Iroh to confirm her suspicions. 

“Spirits are neither good nor bad, unless we are discussing Vaatu and Raava. But there are some spirits whose motives become skewed.” 

(Y/N) deflated in her seat. The spirit who had taken her memories was powerful and most likely dangerous. And if they found it, she would be leading her friends right to them. 

They finished their tea with Iroh before continuing on their journey. Bolin had talked excitedly with him about his adventures with Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko, whoever those people were, and Iroh gave him a Jasmine Dragon teacup to take back to the mortal realm. The entire time that they talked, (Y/N) was incredibly distracted by what Iroh had told them. 

“We should go back,” (Y/N) said suddenly. All three of her friends stopped and looked at her as if she were insane. 

“But, you need to get your memories back,” Bolin said. 

“I’ll just start over,” She insisted. “I can start fresh. Whatever this spirit is, it isn’t good, and I don’t want to hand you guys to it on a silver platter. We’ll go back and I’ll just learn to live without my memories.” 

“There are pieces of you you’ll never get back. Important memories that might have meant a lot to you. You deserve answers, (Y/N), for everything that’s happened to you.” Bolin grabbed her hands and she felt that same shock of electricity run through her body every time he touched her. 

“It’s not worth it if it means you guys will get hurt.” 

“Stop trying to play hero,” Mako said suddenly, his voice much harsher than it had been the night before. “If we didn’t want to be here to help you, we wouldn’t be.” 

“You shouldn’t be helping me. You guys fight every day for the greater good, for the people of the world. I’m one person. You can’t get yourselves hurt over one person. This,” She gestured to the entirety of the Spirit World, but referred to their mission. “Isn’t as important than whatever is going on back in the mortal world.” 

“But you’re important,” Korra said suddenly. “You’re important to Bolin and Mako and you’ve become important to Asami and I. The Avatar fights for the greater good, but as your friend, I’ll do whatever it takes so that you can feel like yourself again.” 

(Y/N) felt her eyes watering. Why weren’t they getting it? “If anything happened to you guys while we’re here, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” 

“And if we gave up on you, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself,” Bolin said. She looked up at him through watery eyes. “No matter what we’ve been through, we care about you. I care about you. And we’re going to get that dumb spirit to give your memories back.” 

(Y/N) looked from him to Korra to Mako, whose head immediately turned as soon as her eyes landed on him. “Okay,” she said. “But I think this is a horrible idea.” 

“I find that horrible ideas make the best stories,” Bolin said with a smile.

---

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[sokkagatekeeper]

what do you mean when you say that zuko is a pessimistic idealist and sokka is a pessimistic realist? i love your analyses and i’d love to hear more of your thoughts on that!!! (also love how you say sokka and zuko are perfect for each other because they’re both grumps lol)

i do not remember saying that however it does sound like something i would say lmao. i think what i (would) mean with the statement “zuko is a pessimistic idealist” is that he grew up... idk if unappreciated is the exact word, but in the militaristic hypermasculine society that valued traits that he did not have in comparison to azula, zuko was always at a disadvantage and he had to run for it, sometimes make rash decisions as they were the better/only decisions he could make at all in order to be appreciated and most times it did not pay off which resulted in the entire mess that is zuko’s personality. for all of this, zuko has a tendency to see the worst part of the situation he’s in (coming to mind atm ‘it blew up in my face — like everything always does!’ ‘this city is a prison’ more or less?), so in other words he’s grumpy and kinda sour as hell, all the time.

but at the same time, zuko has a certain... idea of the world, a kind and caring heart, a strong sense of justice, an overall vision for a world that’s good. when zuko comes to understand the fire nation is actually actively pushing back this vision, and he practically immediately turns away from its ideals and pursues a philosophy and a group that actually fit his ideas of what’s better for the world. zuko spent three years at sea looking for a myth, in hopes that finding it would finally put an end to his suffering, making him and katara the only people in the world who truly believed the avatar was still out there. zuko is always expecting everything to blow up in his face like it often did throughout his childhood, and he sees the worst part of the situation before anything else but he always pushes back to make it better, or to what he believes would be making it better.

my favorite example of this is during the blue spirit after zuko finds out zhao got the avatar before him, and he gives iroh a speech about how all hope is lost for him and he will never ever have love honor or happiness ever again, and about five hours later he’s behind a theatre mask with two swords against the world rescuing the avatar just so he can capture this avatar himself in the future, while also letting him go afterwards because it’s not honorable to take him in the easy manner he could take him at that precise moment(???) and that was just nuts. therefore pessimistic idealist.

on the other hand there’s sokka.

sokka is a pessimist through and through, a serial complainer, a paranoid neurotic strategist. sokka grew up in disadvantage to the rest of the world and overshadowed by a his little sister — not because katara was a bender and sokka was not, but because katara was the last bender they had left. i’ve talked about this before but basically it’s no wonder katara is a solid optimistic idealist with all the hope and faith and determination in the world while sokka is a pessimistic realist and pragmatic depressed cynical bastard. presumably his village but also sokka put himself at disadvantage. it is safe to assume sokka sacrificed his own uhh. hope? naivetè? innocence? for katara to keep hers and in order to protect her better — after all katara is the last southern waterbender, their collective hero, and you can’t have a hero with no hope, you can’t have a dead hero. and also sokka is an eldest sibling, it’s instinctual.

now don’t get me wrong, sokka has a huge heart full of love and devotion and wonder. he is an inventor, an artist, a scientist. sokka is filled with ideas, but he is always waiting for the lowest blow, he is always waiting for a disaster to happen (and with a good reason!). sokka believes optimists are liars, he thinks destiny and fate is more or less bullshit, he has a pragmatic and careful approach to almost every situation he’s presented with and even though he has a clear sense of morality, he is willing to make certain sacrifices as are the demands of war – where zuko is willing to save zhao without hesitation, who tried to kill him multiple times and whom he had been fighting not one minute ago, for example.

sokka wants the world to be a better place, and at the same time he has little trouble turning away from people who aren’t in any immediate danger even if they are suffering because he has more pressing matters at hand (the painted lady), he obviously would want the avatar to come back and save them, but aang being a complete stranger signaling to a fire nation ship is most definitely a valid justification for sokka to banish him (the boy in the iceberg/the avatar returns i don't remember lol). among many many many other situations in which sokka is technically right, even if it doesn’t fit other characters’ idealistic views or it doesn’t make for a good story, sokka is the realist they all need in order to survive.

also i admit ‘perfect for each other’ can be kind of a stretch and i believe that it being because they’re both grumpy is kinda reductive since that can also be the basis of mai and zuko’s relationship and we all know what i think of those two aksjaks (this is NOT mai slander. # mai deserves better 2k21). however i do think sokka and zuko fit together because they have different types of emotional constipation and they actively push each other to be more balanced in order to reach to the other. sokka wants to believe deep down, and the fact that he is in a story even if he doesn’t really believe it plays its cards sometimes which translates into the universe’s obsession with sokka, and zuko is destiny fan #1 so he can give sokka an overemotional speech once in a while that sokka will ruthlessly dismiss and dismantle verbally but that at the same time will warm his heart and help him loosen up on his scheduled cerebral to a default existence on the long-run; zuko needs grounding once in a while which he usually got from iroh or at the very least iroh made an attempt to get through him, and sokka is intellectually crude enough to give zuko a reality check while making himself understood and because of their shared wavelength he can do this without crushing all of zuko’s hopes and dreams in the process.

they are also two eldest siblings one with depression the other filled with rage and they are the only real ‘pessimists’ in the gaang, so while yes, zuko will take action to solve problems he will also complain about it forever more and he can do that with sokka. together they can yell at god, complain about jocks, complain about prescriptivists, bond over their very niche taste in art that nobody ever understands, and absolutely tear apart everything that doesn’t fit their competence standard (it’s a very high fucking standard, those are two grumpy neurodivergent people) among many other grump-activities that seem to make them miserable but that actually serve both of them to validate their annoyed kind of love for the world and it makes both of them really happy :)

[usedtobe-angstyoikawa]

Mask

Zuko x reader (tea shop au)

Summary: you become friends with the two baristas from your favorite tea shop and slowly start to fall for one of them (keep in mind this takes place in the modern day, covid is still around sorry :p)

A/n: I came up with this love story kind of idea while in quarantine since where I’m from things are still pretty messy (not just because of covid but the whole country is a mess lol) so it’s hard for me to imagine love scenarios that are so different from the reality I’m currently living in. That being said, this seemed to be good enough to make my brain enjoy it while also tricking it into believing maybe it could happen to me one day (even though I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die alone :’) Anyways I was thinking of making these a series? Don’t know maybe I won’t finish it I’m too busy but I’ll give it a try

Warnings: none at lest yet

———————————————————————

Being alive during a pandemic isn’t easy, not to mention how stressing it is to be a college student as well. The combination of trying to take care of yourself while also loosing your mind and dealing with anxiety isn’t the best. The student life is already tiring on its own, but the social interaction and good fun memories that come with it makes it a little less dreadful. Of course, that is gone now too, so we’re left with only the overworking-yourself-till-your-body-gives-out part of the experience. It may sound depressing but after a bit more than a year you learn to live with it, you adapt and find new ways to relax and have fun.

That’s why you’ve been visiting the new tea shop near your house. It opened a few months ago and since you first stepped foot in the warm, inviting place you haven’t been able to go a day without their so contagious good vibes (and tea too, obviously). Well maybe you don’t visit it every single day but at least three times a week, on mondays, wednesdays and fridays to be exact. It’s become part of your routine, not only is it good because it implies spending time outside of your room but the friendly, cozy atmosphere of that place also helps you concentrate on your studies and actually get the work done. And yeah maybe having to wear a mask the whole time isn’t super comfortable but it’s worth it, at least the shops were opened again. One of your favorite things about the tea shop is the staff, from the baristas to the waiters to the owner, this last one being the first one you met. This man is incredibly sweet and is capable of lifting your mood with such simple words and a warm cup of tea. Iroh, that being his name, moved to your hometown a year before the pandemic started with no intentions of working at any shop, let alone open one. It was the arrival of his two nephews in need of a helping hand that made him come up with the best idea of his life, and the best thing that happened to you later on. You don’t really know what his relatives coming to town has to do with him opening a tea shop but he never explained, so you never asked. He is very fond of his nephews, specially the older one, a boy named Zuko. The other is a girl named Azula, which you learned is the youngest sibling even though she seems a lot more mature than her brother. Both of them work with his uncle, Zuko as a barista and Azula as the cashier, but sometimes she likes to take and prepare your orders too, just to prove she’s better at tea-making than her brother. Every time she does so you play along with it, nodding to everything she says only to then confess to Zuko that you find his tea to be better warmed than her sister’s. You’d like to say that comments like that one make him blush, but there’s no way of telling with the damned mask covering his face. This place has very strict covid prevention policies, which you are glad of cause not many shops did, so you’ve never seen their faces (or at least not the entirety of them). It’s kind of weird cause you’re pretty sure they do know what you look like since you have to take yours off every time you take a sip of your drink or a bite of your food. You only once saw Azula with her mask off, hanging from her right ear. She was outside standing next to the entrance while smoking a cigarette, she had the prettiest face you’d ever seen. But you don’t know what the faces of her brother and uncle look like, though you try to imagine it from time to time. You’re pretty sure Iroh has a beard, you can see it poking out of the sides of his mask, but what really intrigues you is his smile. He’s one of those people who are able to smile with just their eyes, so you imagine his smile is the phisical representation of happiness itself. Now Zuko’s face was harder to imagine. He wore his dark hair right in front of his eyes, kind of like grown out bangs that covered the upper part of his face. You know his eyes are of this yellowish but also hazel like color, and you’re 99% sure he has dark bags under them. But apart from that you aren’t sure what to think of his facial features, you don’t know if he has a beard or a sharp jawline, nor if his nose is pointed like his sister’s or a bit round like his uncle’s. He could have no nose at all for all you know! This types of thoughts are the ones that roam your mind while you’re trying to solve the algebra problem sitting on the book page in front of you. Maybe it’s time for your you to take a break and order another tea, you think of trying out the new matcha one Iroh added to the list last week but instead you opt for the good old jasmine tea, the old man’s favorite.

You’re surprised when you see Zuko starting on your order instead of his uncle, even though he works as a barista too he usually takes care of the food orders. It’s not that he’s bad at making tea (like his sister states), he’s only extremely good at making a few variety of them and messes up any other order completely. Bobba, black and green tee are his specialties, with oolong and herbal coming right behind them, but jasmine is one of his worst. And you’re gonna have to be the one drinking a whole cup of it. You look to your left and catch Azula’s eyes fixed on his brothers back, then they move to you and even though words aren’t coming out of her mouth you know exactly what she wants to say. Shit, good luck.

“Here you go, a jasmine tea with three sugar’s” his voice breaks your staring contest with the girl next to him and it takes you a good minute and a half to react and take the cup. You really wish you had taken a seat next to the window instead of opting for the counter, now you’ll have to try the drink while he’s standing in front of you.

You can feel Azula’s eyes burning the side of your face, you know she’s either at the verge of tears or feeling sorry for you. Before chickening out you lift the cup and bring it to your lips, letting the liquid in and swallowing. Everyone behind the counter stops, waiting for your reaction. They don’t really know what they’re expecting you to do or say, but it definitely isn’t what is currently going on in your head (and mouth).

“Oh. My. Fucking god. This is amazing.”

a/n: this wasn’t proof read so thank you for making it this far :)

[madsthewordclown]

Stay | Zuko x Reader

warnings: none, mostly fluff, a little bit of angst

summary: Y/N and the Gaang are visiting the Fire Nation a few months after Zuko’s coronation, and Y/N is disappointed when he doesn’t have much time to spend with them. 

It had been a tough week.

You felt like that was the understatement of the century. It had been terrible. You usually loved travel and getting out of the frigid South Pole where you’d been staying with Katara and Sokka was a welcome vacation. But so many things had gone wrong, and your stay in the Fire Nation capital wasn’t off to a great start, either.

To be honest, things hadn’t been going well since the war officially ended. For some reason, you had expected that everything would be perfect, although you had no idea what life looked like without the war. It turned out that it could be pretty damn lonely.

You looked around the empty royal garden. There weren’t even any turtleducks out on the pond. You sighed. Your head was pounding after yet another grueling meeting. You hadn’t expected the Fire Nation councilmembers to be so… disdainful. Even the brand-new, younger councilmen seemed distrustful of you and lacking respect, even though you were a close friend of the Fire Lord. Your headache only intensified thinking about Zuko.

You’d barely even had the chance to speak with him yet, and you’d arrived three days ago. He had been able to great you and your friends when you arrived, albeit late, before he was rushed away to go to a meeting. You hadn’t seen each other in months, not since his coronation, and it looked like you might not see him on your visit at all.

You looked out at the sun that was beginning to set over the palace walls. The sky was beginning to turn a bright orange. You heard someone walking towards you as you sat on the grass.

“Doing okay?” Katara asked, taking a seat beside you.

“Yeah,” you lied, running a hand through your hair. “These meetings are driving me crazy.”

“You, too?” Katara made a face. “Aang won’t stop complaining. He says that they’re too boring.” You laugh. “I don’t know what he expected.”

“How’s Appa?” You asked, looking at the Water Tribe girl. That had been just one of your setbacks on the journey to the Fire Nation—Appa had been sick.

“He’s good,” Katara answered, fiddling with one of her hair-loops. “He’s back to eating a shipload every day, so Aang has finally stopped worrying.” You hummed, having seen firsthand how much the Avatar worries about his bison.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Katara prodded. That girl was too observant for her own good, but she was an even better friend. You were grateful that the two of you had met.

“Yeah,” you replied, looking into her blue eyes, which were filled with concern, “I was just hoping to relax a bit more, you know?”

“And see Zuko?” Katara added knowingly, raising an eyebrow.

“Shut up,” you gave a light laugh. “Yeah, I was. It’s just that we haven’t all been together in so long.”

“Just go find him and talk to him, Y/N. I’m sure he wants to see you, he’s just got a lot on his plate, and sometimes he’s a little too focused. Besides, I think he’s having dinner with us tonight.”

“You’re probably right,” you agreed, giving Katara a smile. “Thanks, Katara.”

“You’re welcome,” Katara beamed back. “Now, let’s go get some food. I’m sure Sokka is starving.”

“I’m starving!” Sokka groaned as soon as you and Katara entered the royal dining hall. You both giggled.

“Me, too,” Aang agreed, slumping back in his chair for emphasis. Katara laughed as she took the seat next to him. You took up a chair to Sokka’s left, while Toph sat on his right. You assumed the large, ornate chair at the end of table was reserved for Zuko. You could hardly contain your excitement at the chance to finally get to speak with him.

“Dinner will be served shortly,” one of the servants stated flatly. “Unfortunately, the Fire Lord will be unable to accompany you this evening.” Oh. You felt yourself deflate, and Katara shot you a sympathetic glance from across the table.

“You know Sparky,” Toph drawled. “Too bad he’s missing out.” Toph shrugged. “Oh well, more for me!”

Dinner went on without that much excitement. Although your disappointment still weighed on you, you had to admit that having your friends around made you feel a lot better. Just spending time with everyone—well, nearly everyone—for once was incredible. You couldn’t remember the last time you had all gotten to sit around a table together.

Eventually, you all dispersed and headed off to your rooms. You had expected the palace’s accommodations to be fancy, but nothing could prepare you for how lavish they really were. You had your own en suite and the bed was about as big as your old room back in the Earth Kingdom. It was probably the most comfortable thing you’d ever been in, but you still struggled to fall asleep.

You felt restless, and your own mind kept betraying you. You couldn’t help but worry about what would happen once your stay at the palace was over, and what the future held for you and your tight-knit group of friends. Aang was always away Avatar-ing, and Zuko had a whole country to run. Katara would follow Aang anywhere, and be a valuable asset to him, and Sokka would soon become Chief of the Southern Tribe. You tried not to let it, but the thought came to you anyway; what if this was the last time you were all together?

You sighed and kicked your legs out from under the covers, then swung around to sit up and get out of bed. Maybe a walk would be helpful, and there was plenty of ground to cover in the palace itself. You didn’t bother to change out of your light sleeping clothes—you pulled one of the plush white guest robes out of the closet and wrapped it around yourself tightly before slipping out the door.

The halls of the palace were dark and empty. You didn’t really know where you were going, but you figured you would find your way back eventually. You wandered for quite some time, admiring the portraits and mosaics of previous Fire Lords and Fire Ladies. You noticed that there was a blank space on the wall and stopped in front of it, looking at the chips in the chunk of stone in the otherwise immaculate palace.

“Fire Lord Zuko.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard the voice from down the hall. You turned to see a bearded man in Fire Nation robes; his face illuminated by orange light.

“The ambassador from the colonies is requesting to meet with you right away,” the man continued.

“Can’t it wait?” Another voice replied. Zuko. You felt like you should leave, but you stayed frozen to your spot.

“Sir, the ambassador has had a long journey…”

“So have my guests.” You can sense the irritation in Zuko’s voice. “You had no problem making them wait.”

“But sir—”

“Tomorrow, Lao,” Zuko said with finally.

“Yes, my Lord.” The man looked down dejectedly before disappearing down the corridor.

You felt like you should leave. Zuko was obviously busy, and stressed, and didn’t need you to be bothering him. You turned to go, and barely made it two steps before you heard his voice again.

“Y/N?”

You turned around, and the sight of him immediately made your heart beat faster. He walked towards you, concern written across his face, a fire alight in his hand.

“What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” you replied simply as he neared you. “It’s a little weird being here.”

“I get it,” Zuko agreed. You knew he understood more than anybody about not belonging; you knew he felt out of place in his own palace. He looked over at the blank spot on the wall that you had been staring at, and the fire he held flickered. “My father’s portrait was there. I had it removed the week after my coronation.” Oh.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he said, giving you a sympathetic look. You noticed that his dark hair was beginning to fall out of its knot. How long had he been working? With the help of the firelight, you could also see the dark circles forming under his eyes. He looked so, so tired. “Walk with me?”

“Sure,” you answered. You were tempted to reach out for his empty hand as he fell into step beside you. A beat. “Why isn’t your portrait up yet?” Zuko blushed. It was odd to see such a light, relaxed expression on his face.

“I don’t really have the time. Besides, I don’t really want one, I think they’re tacky.”

“They’re regal, Zuko,” you teased, trying to ignore the way your heart sped up when his shoulder bumped into yours. Zuko sighed, the calm expression leaving his face as you turned your head to look at him.

“I’m really sorry that I haven’t gotten to spend much time with you, Y/N. You or the others.” He sounded so genuinely upset that you started to feel guilty for your annoyance at him earlier.

“It’s alright,” you reassured him, “I know you’re busy.” He shot you a look.

“That’s not an excuse.” You started to open to your mouth to retort, but he held up a hand to stop you. “We haven’t seen each other in so long, and you traveled for days, and I’ve been a terrible host and a terrible friend.”

“It’s okay,” you said again. “We can handle ourselves for a few days.” Zuko managed a smile at that.

“I’m starving,” Zuko admitted suddenly. “Want to get a snack?”

“What kind of question is that, Sparky?” You laughed, and Zuko scowled.

“Please don’t start calling me that,” Zuko pleaded. “And I’ll take that as a yes.”

To your surprise, Zuko didn’t lead you to the kitchens or the dining hall. He stopped in front of a door blocked by two guards, who stepped out of the way as he approached.

“My Lord,” one of the guards greeted while the other opened the door.

“Could you send someone to fetch us some snacks, please?” Zuko requested politely, stepping through the open door and motioning for you to follow.

“Of course, my Lord,” the other guard replied as you follow Zuko inside. The guard closes the door behind you, and then you realized that Zuko has brought you to his room.

Or, rooms, you supposed you should say. And if you thought your room was fancy… Zuko’s was over-the-top with regality and garnishment. The area you had just stepped into had a giant fireplace on the left wall and a large sofa in front of it, as well as a full table setting with four chairs. There were two doors on the right wall, and large windows overlooking the courtyard directly in front of you. Everything was deep reds, maroons, and gold.

“I’ll be right back,” Zuko told you. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. He walked away and disappeared through one of the doors to your right.

Even though it felt very odd, you walked over and sat down awkwardly on the sofa and waited for Zuko to return. You blushed as you looked around, and you silently cursed yourself for your immaturity. You weren’t in his room. The knot in your stomach didn’t listen to you.

You turned when you heard the door Zuko had gone through open again. He reenters, and you feel like you have the breath knocked out of you, even though he really doesn’t look much different than before; you suppose he just does that to you. After months apart, seeing him feels like a shock to your system.

He’d changed out of his Fire Lord garb into long, black pants and a robe much like yours, except his was dark red with gold trim and a gold Fire Nation insignia embroidered on the breast. He stopped at the door to the hall just in time for you to hear a servant knock; Zuko opened the door, and the servant brought a huge platter covered in all kinds of snacks, barely managing to balance it as they set it on the table in front of the sofa. Your eyes widened at the enormous spread in front of you.

“Thank you.” Zuko dismissed the servant with a nod. They gave a quick bow and exited curtly. Zuko took a seat next to you and immediately dug into the pile of rolls on the platter.

“Hungry?” You laughed. Zuko looked at you sheepishly.

“I haven’t eaten dinner yet,” he admitted, mouth stuffed full of bread. So much for Fire Lord manners.

“Zuko!” You swatted at him, hitting him on the arm. “You have to take care of yourself.” You let him hear your concern—the combination of the dark circles and the lack of nutrition was plenty enough to worry you.

“I know, it’s just…” Zuko looked up at you, a stray hair from his topknot falling in front of his face. “I have so much work to do, Y/N.”

“You can’t expect to do it all in a year, Zuko,” you reasoned, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. “No one else is expecting it, either.”

“I know,” Zuko sighed. “But I need to fix my father’s mistakes and make things right. It’s my job to bring back honor to my nation.”

“The walls of Ba Sing Se weren’t built in a day, Zuko. But the world sees the good that you’re doing. I’ve seen it.” Zuko’s gaze softened as he looked at you.

“What about you?” You’re surprised by his question.

“What do you mean?” You looked away and snatched a roll off the platter.

“I mean,” Zuko continued, eyeing you, “what have you been up to?”

“Nothing, really,” you admitted. You can tell your voice has betrayed your feelings, because you could see concern growing in his golden eyes. “I’ve just been hanging out in the South Pole, I guess. Nothing very interesting.”

“What’s wrong?” Zuko pressed, leaning in towards you as you took your hand off his shoulder. “You can talk to me, Y/N.”

“After the war,” you began, “I thought everything would be great. I can’t really explain what I thought would happen. I guess I didn’t know, but… I feel like I don’t really have a place anymore.

“My whole journey started when I joined the others. I had a goal, and it was to help win the war. And now it’s over, and Aang is still the Avatar. Katara and Toph are still two of the world’s most powerful benders. Sokka is going to become Chief. I feel like…” you sighed, not sure of how to continue. “I feel like my journey’s over. I can’t go back to my village in the Earth Kingdom. I have no one there, and the South Pole doesn’t feel like a home, especially when Sokka and Katara are hardly around.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Zuko looked at you with sympathy. You averted his gaze. “I should’ve written to you more, or visited, or something. I had no idea how you felt, and I should have. I’m supposed to…” Zuko trailed off, looking down at his hands.

“Supposed to what?”

“I’m supposed to take care of you,” Zuko said. You felt your heartbeat race. “You’re supposed to take care of people you care about, and I didn’t even make the time to talk to you until now.”

“It’s not your fault,” you replied, but Zuko wasn’t having it.

“I should’ve just pushed back my meetings when you and the others arrived. I’ve missed you all so much. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too,” you said, looking into Zuko’s eyes. His hands were warm as he reached and grabbed onto yours.

“You know,” Zuko said, what looked like a light blush rising to his cheeks, “you could stay here, if you wanted to.”

“What?”

“You could stay and work here,” Zuko repeated, before quickly backtracking. “I mean, if you wanted to. And not like, as a servant or anything. You could be my adviser. If you wanted to.”

“What?” You repeated again, dumbfounded by his offer.

“I actually meant to ask you a while ago,” Zuko rambled, “along with this other conversation I’ve been meaning to have with you, but I held off because I don’t know if it’s something you want.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to?” You asked honestly, wondering what he possibly thinks would keep you away. Zuko shrugged. “But you don’t have to give me place here.” You didn’t understand why he’d be making this offer now. You weren’t exactly qualified.

“Umm…” Zuko shifted, pulling his hands away from yours. You missed their warmth immediately. “I…” Zuko took a deep breath, seeming to steel himself to say something. “I want you to stay even if you don’t want to be my adviser, because I’ve missed you, and… I really, really like you, Y/N.” You felt your heart and jaw hit the floor. Zuko paled immediately and was about to say something else before you abruptly moved forward. Before you could convince yourself not to, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips.  

Zuko didn’t move for a moment, and you felt your whole body go cold. But then he was kissing you back, and you felt his arms wrap around you, filling you will warmth as you melted into him. He pulled away from you entirely too soon, and you looked up at him, brushing another dark, stray hair out of his face. His eyes were full of admiration and a light blush had risen in his cheeks. He looked beautiful.

“Woah,” he said dumbly, staring at you. You giggled. “So—”

You cut him off. “I like you too, Zuko.” You pressed another quick kiss to his lips. “Can I stay?”

He looked at you in confusion. “I told you, you can stay here as long as you want.”

“I mean here,” you said again, looking at him and tapping on his chest with one of your hands that was trapped between you.

“Oh,” Zuko looked at you. “Oh. Yes, definitely.” You felt his arms tighten around you, and you smiled as you tilted your head up to kiss him again.

[passable-talent]

hi!! for roe, can i request a part two to the commander reader one?? maybe written with the events that happen when zuko asks if he can join the group (and when katara splashes him with her water bending, the reader deflects it)? the rest is up to you. thanks!! 🥺♥️

i love when yall request part 2s deadass

part 1

Being in the Fire Nation again made your skin crawl. It really was awful. You kept thinking that every voice behind every mask of every soldier was going to be an old friend from the academy. It kept you paranoid, and distracted, which was really the worst thing you could be on the Day of Black Sun. 

Sadly, even a military strategist like you couldn’t have predicted what happened that day. You didn’t really want to make Sokka feel worse, so you couldn’t say much about it, but you were angry you’d wasted the day, the eclipse. 

And running into Azula had made your skin crawl. 

She greeted you like an old friend- you were. And in her discussion of how she’d known of the invasion, she let slip that one little detail, the one that had made your heart stop cold. 

She said that Zuko was ‘gone’. 

You knew that Azula lies, its all she’d ever done. And yet, you couldn’t help but wonder- he was a banished prince, one who’d let you get away even though you were in league with the avatar. He, as Katara had put it a month earlier, could’ve pieced it together than Aang was alive. You knew how deeply punishment ran in the Fire Nation, you’d seen it first hand. 

Zuko had failed to kill the Avatar in Ba Sing Se. Could his father have killed him for it?

You loved him deeply, even to this day. He’d never hurt you, so though you listened and understood when Aang and Katara and Sokka talked horribly of him, you’d never agree. You saw a glimmer of hope in him, when he let you go in the earth kingdom, and for just one moment in Ba Sing Se. You’d always harbored hope that he would one day return to your side, and help the avatar, but-

He couldn’t do that if his father had killed him. 

“Gone”.

She was done speaking to you by the time the fighting started, and although you protected your friends, your mind wasn’t up to the task of focusing enough to win the battle. You cursed yourself for it- you were Fire Nation too, you knew what she was doing, damn it. You knew that she was a liar by nature, but you couldn’t help but worry, be terrified. 

The eclipse ended. The day ended. You had to go, and leave so many of your fellow soldiers behind. You wished you could save them all- but you knew what had to be done. 

You were the only firebender Aang knew. You had to train him. The problem was- you never learned much more firebending than the basics that Iroh had taught Zuko in the winter. Sure, you knew them by heart, and they served you well, and sure you’d figured out some moves of your own in facing down firebenders all spring and summer, but you couldn’t help but feel inadequate for training the avatar.

You gave him what you could. You hoped it was enough. 

You didn’t quite grieve for Zuko, because you told yourself that Azula must have been lying, just like she was about Suki. She had to be. Zuko wouldn’t go down that easily, even to his father. Iroh wouldn’t have let it happen. You had to believe that Azula was saying it just to get in your head. 

She’d succeeded in distracting you during that one battle, on that one day. You wouldn’t let her do it again. 

Lucky for you, it wasn’t long before she was proven wrong. 

Sometimes, thoughts come at you all at once. You have a thousand different reactions and in the moment, you have to chose one. Sometimes, though, your reaction is instant, but follows down a train of thought that happens in hardly the blink of an eye, when you think so fast that it transcends words.

This was what happened when you saw Zuko. You were filled with relief, and you wanted to hug him, your old friend, who you were so sure was dead, even though you tried to convince yourself otherwise. You were about to take a step forward when you realized it would make you look like a traitor to your friends, and so from behind Katara you said “forgive me” before rushing forward, and hugging him, exactly like you’d wanted, with a breath of his name. 

But the euphoria of seeing him alive faded while you remembered what he was likely here for. He was the enemy of Aang. So you let go, and walked backwards to your friends again, standing at Aang’s side, where you knew you’d make your allegiance clear. You hoped that they would understand why you’d needed to hug him. 

“I heard you guys flying around down there, so I just thought I’d. Wait for you. Here.” Zuko was as awkward as you’d ever seen him in your life, back when he was a bumbling preteen. It almost made you smile, but you couldn’t, quite. Appa’s roar had always made you flinch, but as much as you expected to see the prince eaten then and there, Appa instead licked him, and you caught the way that it affected Aang. Why did the bison trust him?

“I know you must be surprised to see me here,” Zuko said, and you narrowed your eyes, as surprised as he expected. Sure, he was alive, and you were happy about that. But why now? He hadn’t been chasing the avatar for months, even before Ba Sing Se. Why did he come now?

“Not really, since you’ve followed us all over the world,” Sokka said, and you could feel the combat rising in your friends beside you. They didn’t get it. Zuko wasn’t the most strategic person in the world, but he was smart. If he was here to fight them, he wouldn’t have come alone. He wouldn’t have come without armor on. 

“Right, well, uhh...” He was so awkward, it was almost painful. How was this the same prince that you’d known just a few months ago? “Anyway, what I wanted to tell you about is that I’ve changed. And I, uh, I’m good now. And, well, I think I should join your group. Oh, and I can help teach firebending, since I know Y/N doesn’t know some of the higher stuff. See, I, uh-” You shared a glance with Aang, briefly. You were surprised by practically everything he was saying- he’d had a change of heart? He wanted to help the avatar?

He remembered that much about you?

“You want to what now?” Toph said, being cutoff only a moment later by Katara. 

“You can’t possibly think that any of us would trust you, can you? I mean, how stupid do you think we are?”

“Well, you trust Y/N, and they’re from the Fire Nation, like me, so-” Zuko’s words almost insulted you. You cared for Zuko, but you and he were not the same. 

“Y/N helped us from the first moment we met,” Sokka said, coming to your aid, and you looked at him briefly, almost touched he’d had such a quick response. “All you’ve ever done is try to hunt us down and capture Aang.” 

“I’ve done some good things!” Zuko responded, taking a small step forward. “I let you go in that storm! I let Y/N go when I was supposed to take them prisoner! I mean, I could’ve stolen your bison in Ba Sing Se, but I set him free! That’s something.” Appa seemed to try to prove his words with another lick.

“Appa does seem to like him,” Toph conceeded. It put just the flicker of doubt in your chest, that he might be telling the truth. You hoped he was- he hadn’t lied about any of the other examples. 

“He probably just covered himself in honey or something so Appa would lick him,” Sokka said, and you glanced down at yourself.

“I didn’t feel any honey when I hugged him,” you said, which earned you a quick glare from Katara, and you decided to shut your mouth. 

“Still,” Sokka said, waving a hand in front of him, “I’m not buying it.” 

“I can understand why you wouldn’t trust me,” Zuko said, lowering his head, “and I know I’ve made some mistakes in the past.” For a moment, you wondered if you were gullible, or perhaps naïve, to almost believe him. 

“Like when you attacked our village?” 

“Or when you stole my mother’s necklace and used it to track us down and capture us?”

Yeah, maybe you were. 

“Look, I admit I’ve done some awful things. I was wrong to try to capture you, and I’m sorry I attacked the water tribe. And I never should’ve sent that Fire Nation assassin after you. I’m gonna try to stop him-”

“Wait, you sent Combustion Man after us?” 

You were definitely naive. He sent an assassin after you- you couldn’t let yourself trust him again. 

“Well, that’s not his name, but-” Oh, Zuko, why would you doom yourself like that?

“Oh, sorry,” Sokka said, boomerang held with blade toward Zuko, “I didn’t mean to insult your friend.”

“He’s not my friend!”

“That guy locked me and Katara in jail and tried to blow us all up!” Zuko took the blows and lowered his head, but then slid his gaze to Aang. 

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” He asked, his voice calmer now, “You once said you thought we could be friends. You know I have good in me.” After Aang didn’t respond, he looked to you. 

“Y/N? Please.” For a moment, you met his eye, but after a slow heartbeat you looked away, condemning him to whatever decision Aang would reach. 

“There’s no way we can trust you after all you’ve done,” Aang said, his voice strong, with no hint of hesitation, “we’ll never let you join us.” 

“You need to get out of here,” Katara ordered him, “now.” 

“I’m trying to explain that I’m not that person anymore!” he shouted, and you brought up your fists, as his body language clearly said otherwise. 

“Either you leave, or we attack,” Sokka threatened, stopping Zuko in his tracks. His gaze fell to the ground.

“If you won’t accept me as a friend,” he said, lowering himself to his knees, “then maybe you’ll take me as a prisoner.” 

“No, we won’t!” Katara snarled, stepping forward and throwing him back with a powerful wave. You knew that she wouldn’t throw him over the edge, but your heart pounded in worry all the same. “You need to get out of here, and don’t come back. And if we ever see you again- well, we’d better not see you again!” You looked away, as he stood, and walked away. You couldn’t bear to look at him. 

The boy you saw in front of you, the boy that left the Western Air Temple- he was everything that you’d always wanted to see in Zuko. He was the best parts of the boy you’d once known. He was trying to make things right, and accepting the consequences of his actions. You were proud of him. And it took every ounce of your strength not to go to him, and tell him so. 

You held back your voice as Katara and Sokka raged against him. You knew that their trust in you was strong, but you were Fire Nation to them, even after all this time. You knew that the foundation of your friendship was strong, but to try to convince them of the good in Zuko would be battering rams taken to load-bearing pillars. You were a strategist- you knew to hold your tongue. 

Toph, on the other hand, had no such qualms. She stormed out, and you avoided the wrath of the water tribe siblings. 

But Zuko proved his allegiance, first by helping take down Combustion Man, then by reasoning with Aang using more gentleness than you’d ever seen him use, at least at one time. And once again, you kept quiet, knowing that you shouldn’t actively speak out in favor for the prince. Even when Aang asked for your permission, you skirted over your opinion. 

“You’ve been hurt by him far more than I. If you’re okay, then I’m okay.” 

But after he’d been accepted, after he’d been given his own room, after he and everyone else had settled in, you couldn’t stop yourself, couldn’t keep quiet anymore. You snuck through the hallways and into the room he’d been given, and knocked on the wall beside the archway of his door. Hopefully it would get his attention before alerting the others. 

He looked up from his bags to you, and for once in his life had foresight enough to keep his voice down. 

“Y/N?” He said, and you rushed through the door to hug him once again. 

“Zuko,” you answered, laying your face in the crook of his neck. “I’m so happy to see you.” He hugged back, shocked by the gesture as he was. 

“It’s good to see you too,” he answered, but yielded the conversation to you. 

“I always knew you’d join us eventually. I knew it.” He didn’t answer, beyond resting his forehead down onto you. 

He didn’t question how you knew more about his heart than he did. 

He knew the answer. 

tag list: @lammello @kittyddandnyla @qquell @caitiff @coldlilheart @sleeping-with-the-fishes @duh-dobrik @dxcter 

-🦌 Roe

[frenchphobic]

long fucking post on why a c!dream is a shitty person and probably should not have a redemption because it is unpog

honestly i just want to refute dream apologists thats why im making this post. i think that dream as a villain is interesting but i think that trying to make him out to be secretly a good guy is just bad ngl. also /roleplay and all

tw for abuse and mentions of suicide

dream as a villain

dream is a villain. he is chaotic evil according to wilbur, deliberately does not stream to appear less sympathetic (and yet), and is set up as an antagonist to tommy who bears the title ‘hero’. dream is not a good person, no matter how you look at it or try to justify his actions.

‘but he wants to unite everyone to be a big family :((’ the ends dont justify the means believe it or not. having a vaguely positive goal does not excuse the actions you’ve done. it also goes hand and hand with saying dream is correct for punishing tommy the way he did because he acted up. if i socked you across the face and then suddenly said ‘sorry there was a roach on ur face’ does that make it okay? probably not i still punched you, enacting an unnecessary amount of violence. thats a very simple analogy i will admit and there are more complex comparisons. another example off the top of my head is say a child just scribbled all over you walls with crayons. would hitting them be a justified answer? if u said hes thats really fucked of u go seek help u loon. violence as a punishment is very toxic, just because it gets the job done does not mean it is okay. at the end of the day, you still committed this act and the harm you caused is real, having a good motive doesnt suddenly make it okay.

‘but tommy causes all of the conflict’ the disk war wasnt even caused by tommy, it was sapnap and then tommy got involved. and the reason why tommy even caused conflict was because of the discs, because he wanted them back. and most of the time there was a level of antagonism from another party, such as schlatt exiling him, dream taking the disks in the first place, dream threatening l’manberg. and if dream wanted to end the conflict so badly, why didnt he just give tommy back his disks? tommy upfront said everything started with the disks, so he wants them back so he could end the conflict. notice how after tommy got his disks back he has been staying out of conflict, apologizing to everyone, and the only bad thing hes done is try to scam people but everyone does that. this would have been the most peaceful option, yet dream chose the path that would further antagonize tommy which then draws everyone else into conflict. why did dream need to have leverage over tommy so badly? why did he want to hold power over tommy so badly? its because of control, and that’s ultimately dreams end goal. sure he wants a big server family, but would said family have a free will?

‘but dream is sad’ the thing is dream is completely at fault for everything that happened to him. he pushed away sapnap (and george ig). he tried to take control over the server and their possessions. literally everything that happened to tommy. literally everything involving ranboo. villains can be sympathetic, i am not arguing against that. but it does not mean that they should be left off the hook. that doesnt mean u should ignore the shit theyve done because ‘oh no theyre sad’ because it doesnt make anything better. dream had this shit coming for him.

now people also skirt around calling dream an abuser. which is fair ig, its a very loaded word. its much easier to say manipulated. that being said, dream can classify as abusive. and no, tommy is not abusive. abuse is about control and a power imbalance. dream has power over tommy, but tommy does not have power over dream, at least not in the way dream does. he’s taking back power to stand up for himself, dream uses power to control.

the reasons i listed for why dream is from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project so if u want a source on that, there you go.

using coercion or threats: dream often threatened tommy, such as the pit thing and often employed violence on him. while normally this could be attributed to Normal Minecraft Player Go Smack. minecraft mechanics cannot always translate to real world since violence is pretty normal in minecraft however we also need to consider the context of the scene. dream gave an order, tommy refused, dream applies violence, tommy submitted. thats why its a threat, it has tangible effects that can correlate to real life.

using intimidation: dream blew up logsteadshire as a punishment. dream also destroyed tommys items anytime he visited. dream also hit tommy with his axe i believe. he killed mushroom henry, one of tommys pets.

Using Emotional Abuse: dream guiltripped the shit out of tommy for just hiding things and pinning the blame on tommy for just wanting his own private items. he definitely played mind games on tommy, pretending to be his friend. honestly i probably dont even need to go as in depth because it was so obvious.

Using Isolation: putting him in exile in the first place. destroying the bether portal so no one could visit tommy anymore. i really dont think i need to expand upon that.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: dream in tommys stream when he got trapped said that exile wasnt that bad. he does shift the blame onto tommy for logsteadshire being blown up, even though dreams reaction was entirely unjustified for not listening and hiding.

Using Economic Abuse: see this is where i attempt to parallel minecraft mechanics to real life. obviously, there is no monetary system in place, so when i mean economic, i will use valuables such as armor, food, etc in place of currency. the idea behind economic abuse is to limit the victim’s resources so that they are dependent on the abuser and cannot escape. dream only really allowed tommy to have the armor he gave him while not giving access to armor so he does not regain a sense of power, and in the prison stream, dream holds all the potatoes which puts him in a position of power over tommy. this argument is more ambiguous i feel cause the whole minecraft mechanics thing is kinda weird so u don’t necessarily have to take this part in.

i feel like i need to emphasize this very strongly because dream is not a good person. abuse cannot and should not be a response to someone. its an awful mentality to have. i just want to prove the point that dream is not a good person, his reasons absolutely do not justify his actions.

what makes a good redemption

redemption arcs are tricky. when done right they are great. when done poorly, its a slap in the face. rn im going to establish a formula to what makes a good redemption with an example.

the most well known example of a good redemption is zuko from atla. first, its the magnitude of what theyve done and why. zuko did commit some shitty actions, since he was in a position of power in the fire nation but its because he is a child being abused and wanted to regain honor. zukos real awful acts was season 1 and the whole betrayal thing. thats not to say that zukos actions suddenly are okay, he did shitty things. but its something that can be traced to a higher entity or seem less malicious then the other villains. the thing also about the magnitude of actions is that there is a certain point of atrocities that there is no redemption. some people simply cannot be redeemed because the actions they commit are so ingrained in their character or the action itself has serious moral issues that it would just be wrong.

the next is acknowleding what they did was wrong. a genuine reflection on the self and analyzing what they did and why it was not okay. zuko realized what he did to uncle iroh was bad for example. he turned his back on his father, realizing he didnt and shouldnt seek acknowledgment from someone as heinous as him. its pointing out your actions and going ‘hey, this wasnt right i should not have done this’ and not even excusing ur actions. its also going straight for the root of the problem and figuring out to stamp it from the source. just because a character is sad does not mean they are reflecting, sometimes they are attempting to garner pity. it has to be direct and clear acknowledgement of the injustice.

and finally, an important part about redemption arcs is the actual redemption part. its when you make amends. zuko made amends with katara by trying to help her get revenge, he fought against the fire nation and tried to make things more peaceful in his rule. he apologized to iroh. an important part of the amends section is that it does have to be a genuine desire to change and become a better person, not to change a person’s perception of you. the thing is u cant expect a person youve hurt to forgive you. you cant expect people to be sympathetic towards you nor should u attempt to make urself sympathetic. u shouldnt be expecting a pat on the back or an award. redemption is about internal and character change.

why dream should not be redeemed

ive already established the key points to a good redemption (imo) but heres where dream falls short. his actions are extremely heavy so redemption may not even really be possible. abuse is not something you can wave off so it does cross to the point of fucked up. acknowledgement of what he did was wrong? all he said was that he changed, yet never explained why he changed or was too vague. he needed to label specifically what he did and bring it up. attempting to make amends? he’s been doing the exact opposite in fact he continues to manipulate tommy and ranboo. its not a genuine change. he is still repeating the cycle and has given no indication of ceasing. at the moment he does not have any signs of redemption.

and the thing is most of the attention around a dream redemption comes from either justifying his motives (which i do want to emphasize does not make anything suddenly okay) and because he is sad in prison sad face. these are not good reasons. its gonna pain me severely to bring this up but snape from harry potter does have some form of sad character ig yet he very much abused his authority to bully children as old as 11 just because he said ‘aight gonna die’ doesnt suddenly make his general bigotry and abuse suddenly okay there is a threshold. again im so sorry for using harry potter as an example none were coming to mind and i needed a popular one i do not like harry potter please dont say i do i would pass away.

and the last thing to consider is the audience. keep in mind that the audience is composed of minors and while yes there are adults, minors are the main component of the fandom. keep in mind that there are quite a few people who can relate to tommys character because they might be in the same position or have gone through his experiences. tell me what kind of message does it send to that audience that abusers can be redeemed. this is not a narrative u should push to this audience in these situations and the writers are seemingly aware of it. remember how in exile tommy spiraled into a suicidal mentality? consider how fucked of a message it would be if he just committed suicide instead of escaping abuse and attempting to recover from his experiences. tommy did an excellent job in not going that route and having a message of ‘it will not get better’. its the same thing here. victims are not obligated to care for or forgive their abuser, and portraying an abuser as sympathetic might fuck with the message a lot, even change their perception in that ‘oh, maybe my abuser was right, maybe they had a reason for treating me the way they did’. this is not to say that every victim watching this will internalize this message, but people also look up to these characters. there can be a degree of influence from the story onto oneself and thats the dangerous part.

conclusion

all in all dream is a shitbag asshole and probably shouldnt get a redemption because it would not be pog thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[swordgayist]

book 3 ty lee and zuko

consider an alternate universe where, instead of maiko, zuko and ty lee develop a strong friendship while mai and azula’s close friendship (that might be peppered with some lesbianism) slowly degrades over time. allow me to elaborate.

zuko and ty lee start bonding on the journey back to the fire nation because ty lee is the only one among the people surrounding zuko who doesn’t bully and/or abuse him regularly, and vice versa.

TY LEE: aren’t you cold? what are you doing out here?

ZUKO: i’ve got a lot on my mind. it’s been so long, over three years since i was home. i wonder what’s changed. i wonder how i’ve changed

TY LEE: hm.

TY LEE: we all missed you.

(just getting the ball rolling here)

they talk more when they get to the fire nation, and the usual topic is azula, and how she treats them. they bond over the mean shit she’d do to them when they were kids because that’s easier to laugh at. it’d probably get a little more real sometimes too.

but the thing is, when it gets real, ty lee’s relationship with azula doesn’t sound a lot like zuko’s relationship with azula.

see with zuko, he isn’t actively afraid of her or subordinate to her. he is just competitive with her and she wins, and she also manipulates him a lot.

when it comes to ty lee and azula, everything is subtle. both ty lee and azula know that there is a power dynamic, but neither of them say anything about it. azula clearly hurts ty lee regularly, but they both brush it off afterwards. azula’s abuse of ty lee is just normalized, ty lee doesn’t say anything and the power dynamic continues.

the more zuko hears about it the more it sounds like how his father treats him rather than how azula treats him. 

meanwhile on the mai and azula side of things, mai’s character is going to be done much much differently. because i hate how she’s written on the show so i will change her until i like her who’s gonna stop me

basically, instead of this extremely disjointed idea that mai ...... likes to do villainy things ? but still somehow she only does them because she’s scared of azula ?? we’re gonna scrap that. mai loves doing cruel shit to other people.

we’re scrapping everything about her backstory too. her parents are just two ordinary fire nation politicians who love hearing about people who are lesser than them suffering (not just people from other nations, but people who are less privileged than them etc).

we’re also scrapping the part of her character where she complains all the time because it doesn’t add anything to her story and it’s annoying.

that classism aspect of mai’s character (”you know what’ll make you feel better? ordering some servants around!” for example) is gonna be expanded upon a lot. coming from a rich, politician family, mai is extremely blasé about other people’s suffering and believes very strongly that she just matters more than them and that bothering herself with them is below her. she sees how her parents interact with their servants and how they laugh about what happens in the earth kingdom colonies and the water tribes and she picks up the cruelty they display. 

because of that, her and azula get along well. usually when azula is mean to zuko or ty lee, mai just kinda laughs about it on the side. when she’s helping azula she relishes the distress she causes the people she attacks. she always sees it as fun and games. it provides a stark contrast between mai and ty lee as azula’s friends where mai joins azula out of apathy and love for cruelty, while ty lee joins azula out of fear.

(once again this is already kinda there on the show but then they just ??? ignore it and say that mai followed her out of fear too ??? which makes no sense ??)

then in the beach episode, the conflicts go a little like this:

zuko and ty lee are annoyed at mai for being so cruel and apathetic, mai and ty lee are annoyed at zuko for having all these emotional outbursts, and zuko is annoyed at ty lee for being so at ease and complacent in her maltreatment, while mai is just kinda slut shaming her. azula, like in the og beach episode, is too busy dealing with her own problems to be annoyed by other people.

we finally get a better extended version of this interaction between zuko and ty lee at the end of the beach:

TY LEE: what’re you doing?

ZUKO: what does it look like i’m doing?

TY LEE: but..... it’s a painting of your family.

ZUKO: do you think i care?!

TY LEE: i think you do.

ZUKO: you don’t know me. so why don’t you just mind your own business!

TY LEE: *sighs* i know you.

ZUKO: no you don’t! you’re stuck in your little ty lee world where everything’s great all the time!

ZUKO: ‘i’m so pretty, look at me, i can walk on my hands! whoo!’

ZUKO: circus freak.

zuko is annoyed that ty lee is so reluctant to stand up for herself and instead pretends everything is okay (this really comes out when after everything between them ty lee helps azula flirt), while ty lee is annoyed that zuko sees complaining about it and being angry all the time as “doing something about it”.

meanwhile the beach episode is the first time mai has actually been presented with the idea that ty lee (and also zuko) is not happy with how she’s treated. ty lee tries to hide it as much as possible out of fear for azula, but mai still kind of picks it up. and mai is also developing a little thing for ty lee (also peppered with some gayism).

but anyways, at the end of the beach and in later episodes zuko and ty lee repair their friendship. zuko finally starts to understand some things, and ty lee contributes to that a lot. zuko’s already realizing that he’s not happy, even as crown prince and as a hero to the fire nation. he’s starting to realize that the way his father treats him isn’t okay or loving in any way. finally in nightmares and daydreams he realizes that sitting quiet while injustice is planned right in front of him isn’t who he is. and because of his argument with ty lee in the beach, he realizes that he can’t just know it, he needs to do something about it.

and on the day of black sun he leaves the fire nation ayeeee

but that means he leaves ty lee alone. he was kind of a safe place for her while she was around azula, and by leaving he kind of took that safety away from her. he of course didn’t take her along to protect her, but yeah.

so in the boiling rock, ty lee sneaks away from azula and mai to talk to zuko. she gets mad that he left her behind, and when zuko tells her he did it to protect her, she’s conflicted on whether she would prefer to commit treason and be an enemy to the fire nation or just stay in the fire nation and let it all happen like she always has.

but she sees zuko, she sees how much healthier and more energetic he looks after confronting his abuser and leaving the fire nation (she finds it ironic that he looks happier and healthier as a fugitive in ratty prison clothes than he ever did as a prince in royal robes). and she can’t help but feel like maybe she could too.

and because of this, at the end of the boiling rock, while mai and azula are trying to stop zuko, sokka, suki and company, ty lee comes up to the landing platform and starts taking out all the guards before they can cut the cable holding the gondola up.

PRISON GUARD: what are you doing?!

TY LEE: saving my best friend.

(yknow instead of ‘saving the jerk who dumped me’)

zuko pleads that they should go back and save ty lee, but sokka remorsefully tells him that they can’t because if they don’t take this way out, they might not be able to escape at all. so all zuko can do is pray. rip.

so azula confronts ty lee. azula is confused and angry that ty lee betrayed her because she was sure she had ty lee under her thumb. but ty lee drops *the line*:

TY LEE: i love zuko more than i fear you.

and so azula gets ready to attack ty lee and ty lee gets ready as well.

and this is where mai starts to realize that it was indeed *not* all fun and games. 

mai picked up cruelty but with azula ...... it was built into her. she was taught it, it was all she knew. and in this moment she was actually going to kill ty lee. so in that moment mai had to make a decision. because it wasn’t just ty lee who was in danger, it was her, if she were to let ty lee die ty lee’s blood would be on her hands, because she will have let azula kill someone she loves. she needs to save herself from going too deep and becoming like azula (keep in mind this is *her* mindset, not necessarily reality).

so she steps in, and she uses her knives to pin azula to the wall. 

now, azula isn’t just angry and confused, she’s broken. because she knew ty lee followed her out of fear, but she thought mai actually saw her as a friend. yet even mai betrayed her, reinforcing the idea that trust is for fools because in the end, no one loved her enough not to betray her. and now with ty lee’s betrayal, it seems like no one fears her enough not to either.

the guards come before mai and ty lee can get away, and they are put in prison.

after the day of sozin’s comet, zuko orders for them to be released, and ty lee finally reunites with her best friend again. 

meanwhile, after a lot of introspection and conversations with ty lee, mai starts to see some of the errors in her ways. she doesn’t know exactly how to make up for it, but her first step is to humbly approach suki and ask if she can join the kyoshi warriors.

(also perhaps while they’re in prison mai confesses to ty lee, and ty lee tells her that she could never fall in love with the person mai was before they were thrown into prison, and that if mai changed her ways ty lee might be ready later in the future.)

after having spent a lot of time with the kyoshi warriors and better learning how to empathize with other people, mai is able to help zuko and the gaang with azula’s healing process.

+ty lee starts to see how mai’s changed and they start talking and whoo pansexualism (officially headcanoning ty lee as a pansexual)

and so on and so forth, this is the basic gist of it this is terribly written but whatever

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Old Bones Aflame (Part 25)

She regrets having mentioned it the moment after the words had left her mouth. Because now the old woman is looking at her expecting elaboration. And Azula supposes that, to some degree, she wants to talk about it. She doesn’t think that it would have slipped so easily if there wasn’t a part of her that wanted Hama to know…that wanted anyone really to understand. 

“They think that I’m crazy.” Sometimes she agrees. Sometimes she is well aware that there is something so deeply, irreparably wrong with her. When Hama doesn’t speak, and part of her wishes that she would, she continues. “So they…he…Zuko took my title and transferred me to some institution.”

“In institution?” 

Azula nods. “A straight jacket wasn’t enough so added some chains around my ankles for good measure.” She gives a bitter sniff. “I’m surprised that they didn’t muzzle me, I’ve heard that they’ve muzzled people who could breathe fire.”

Hama seems to frown.

“I couldn’t move. I couldn’t firebend. Sometimes I was so sedated that I couldn’t think. It was mind numbing and degrading. I was starting to go crazy for real. I had to get out of there.” She rises from the bed and slinks over to the windows. She looks down upon the village below, arms clasped behind her back, her hand cupped around the stump. “Everyone in the capital knows it. They know that my crown is null and that I was in an institution. They know that there’s something wrong with me, they are going to take anything I say with doubt.”  Azula swallows, her stomach once again tying itself in knots. 

Admittedly she has had too much else to focus on–survival, new skills, and waterbenders–to wallow in her misery. To truly let what she lost sink in. “I don’t have the repute or influence that you think I have.” Her fingers curl around the window sill. “Perhaps I have some left in small towns like this, at least until word finally reaches them.”

She supposes that she can very well make something of that–a cluster of small towns can outweigh one large city. It was a tactic that the Fire Nation had used in the past to conquer parts of the Earth Kingdom. But she no longer has the means to reach them before the news can get to them. 

She sighs. “It doesn’t really matter. I can put everything I have, all of my skills and all of my cunning into trying but it won’t matter. It only takes one lapse at the wrong moment and it all falls apart.” She strolls back to the bed and lets herself fall upon the mattress. 

.oOo.

Raava, no wonder those fools had no problem imprisoning and brutalizing her. Apparently they do it to their own as well. Apparently Azula is more intimately familiar with Fire Nation prison facilities–and their sister institutions than Hama had expected. “Why didn’t you mention that any sooner?”

“Would it have mattered?” Azula shrugs. “You’d have thought that it was justice. And besides, I don’t want pity.”

“I would have thought that, yes.” Hama admits. She watches the girl make herself comfortable on the bed. She finds that she doesn’t really know what else to tell her. “Look, I’m not a comforting sort of person.” And the former princess isn’t one to seek it out.

“Clearly…” Azula replies. 

But the girl needs it, she can see it in her eyes; the loss, the conflict, the fatigue. What the girl needs is to step away from politics and her past. There is a certain childlike delight in her eyes when she uncovers a new jungle wonder or hears a new story.There is a sense of ease and comfort when she is given a break from her own mind.

But Hama needs her sharp mind and the influence that she still has. 

“I can get them to respect you.” Azula speaks, eyes fixed upon the ceiling. “But then I’m going to have to leave.”

“Leave?”

“If word gets back to Caldera City…I can’t go back to that institution.” She rubs her hand over her face. “It was careless to come here at all. I should have thought of that. I don’t usually make mistakes like this. I’m not usually…”

“You’ve had a lot to think about, of course some things are going to slip your mind.”

She shakes her head. “No. No, I used to be able to think over and assess many things at once. And then…”

“And then what?”

Azula shakes her head and rolls onto her side. She rests her ear against her hand. “I just can’t go back to that place. I won’t.” 

“Of course you won’t, there’s no reason to send you to a place like that.”

“So? Zuzu and his friends will make one.” 

“Well if you do captured and sent back there, just know that there will always be a full moon eventually. And I always enjoy terrorizing Fire Nation towns.” She flashes a wicked little grin. She thinks that she caught the faintest smile from the princess. 

“I suppose that we can worry about that later if it comes to it. I believe that the best plan of action would be to get at least this town on my side–and maybe a few others if I am lucky…” She trails off into her own musings. “And we can accomplish two feats in one; I can get myself some protection and I can subtly get them used to you and Kohan. If they’re anything like my mother’s people in Hira’a then they will have a soft spot for your Water Tribe legends…”

Hama lets her lay out her plans and goals, she rambles with a degree of enthusiasm. 

“And you’d still like to finish learning to sew and garden, yes?” 

Azula nods. “I’d like to see the fireflies again. They are…nice.” She curls herself up and nuzzles her head against the pillow. “You won’t be disappointed, will you? If I can’t do it?”

“Kohan couldn’t warm them up to me, if you can’t, it’s no fault of your own. I’ve made quite a name for myself here.” She shakes her head. “I hadn’t even considered trying to make amends with these people until recently and I still think that they owe me an apology–at the very least–for what they did to me.” 

Azula is quiet for a very long time. “Yes, they probably do. The Fire Nation didn’t spread out culture and prosperity, we erased yours.” 

Relief is a warm feeling, a wash of comfortable sunlight on her wrinkled skin. It is gently flowing and all encompassing. It is a weightlessness a loosening of shackles that Hama hadn’t realized she was wearing. But Azula looks hurt and tired, as if vocalizing her speculations had evaporated the last of her energy. “It’s alright.” Hama replies. “You can’t help what you were born into. And you can’t carry all of the blame on your shoulders. It won’t do anyone any good if you try to.” 

Azula nods. “There’s no honor in taking no responsibility…” She trails off, fingers gliding along the stump. “It doesn’t do any good either.” 

“Indeed.” 

“It’s not entirely your fault either.” Azula closes her eyes. “How this town treats you. They shouldn’t have expected all of their prisoners to just lay down and take it.” 

Hama wonders if the girl is also speaking of herself. 

.oOo.

Only a few words and Hama is looking at her differently. Much differently. With respect, approval…something else that she can't quite place.

It is just as much of a comfort as it is a nerve rattler. 

To finally vocalize her thoughts plainly and as they are is liberating in some sense. Hopeful in another.

And yet it still feels so profane, so sacrilegious to be disregarding everything that she has ever believed in. 

In the respect and appreciation she sees in Hama's eyes she can see hatred and disappointment in the golden eyes of her people.

Of her father.

Perhaps in her own eyes. 

And in her liberation she feels it in her bones, a sense of grief.

The mourning of herself and she hasn’t even died.