#sometimes I see older people who genuinely believes in good and like they've been in this world for a long time

[mayomkun]

Thinking about how my mom in her 50s who has met and know tons of people throughout her life still believes some people are genuinely good and generally have more faith in humanity than I do

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Hello! :] I saw your post recently regarding the pervasive feeling of shame in newer fans re: Danganronpa, and it really resonated. I wanted to offer my two cents as a fandom old/armchair fandom archeologist that's hopefully a little heartening:

I remember back in 2012/2013 when Danganronpa was beloved, during the height of the SomethingAwful TL days. It was a genuinely fun time to be into things, especially as people were getting excited for an EN release, something that I do think the fandom deserves a little credit in making happen. I was there for the UDG release, DR3 anime, and the lead-up to v3's release, and unfortunately, I think the fact that all three of those entries were in some ways polarizing effectively memory-holed a lot of people into believing Danganronpa was never "good" to begin with, which makes it a lot easier to pick out its flaws and give it a bit of a weird reputation now.

(As a tangent, but some more context that might help: Danganronpa also got really big on my neck of the woods in Tumblr during one of the big Homestuck hiatuses. Back in the day there was a lot of fandom crossover, which I don't really think is the case nowadays, but I think for people that were either in both fandoms and had negative experiences, or people outside who disliked either/or, they've been inextricably linked together as part of a particular "time" in Tumblr/internet history that isn't remembered fondly. So, I have a theory that a lot of secondhand Danganronpa disdain comes from misplaced disdain for the other Big Thing at the time.

This also overlapped with the tail end of the big SuperWhoLock era to my memory, which is usually much more focused on which discussing Tumblr history. Which is a shame, because I feel like this particular transitional era of Tumblr "fandom" history has been underdiscussed because of it!

None of this is excusing some of the things I've seen said about DR fans and the ways people have been iced out for liking it, but I find trying to understand the factors at play always helps my mind figure out how to process these things.)

However: time moves on. This isn't permanent. Having gone back and re-experienced the whole series some 5+ years removed, I was able to find joy in parts of the series that, while I was in the thick of a shift in fandom attitude, didn't appreciate as much as I think I should have. I didn't absolutely love everything, but I had so much fun, it almost felt like I was experiencing things again for the first time.

I want to believe the same thing will happen as we get some time removed, as people get nostalgic for things and get older and understand that you can love something flawed, criticize it, and not feel shame for it. I always welcome fresh faces discovering something for the first time, but I think that some day, a lot of older fans can come back and embrace it as well. Sometimes you need time and life and a few extra years on you. I'm living proof of it! :P

Of course, this is just one person's perspective from one slice of the fandom. But I remain hopeful. There really is nothing else quite like Danganronpa for me, warts and all. You don't have to post this publicly or anything if you don't want to, but I wanted to offer a little hope to go with your thoughts. :') and I hope you have a great day!

Oh man, I really really appreciate this message. I am really interested in the perspective of fans who have been here for so long, and I always feel a little out of my depth talking about old (read: 2018 and before) DR fandom because despite seeing a Lot of it in my blog-diving, I still wasn't there. It's genuinely wonderful to hear that it was beloved like that, even if only fully for the first two installments.

I HAVE noticed a weird amount of homestuck/dr crossover in my searches, so that totally makes sense! Hell, my first exposure to DR on tumblr was a homestuck blog I followed back in 2017/2018ish (for the artstyle, I haven't read homestuck) that also posted a lot about Kazuichi. That's super cool!

While I feel like today, there is at least a little bit of fondness (even if it is a little ironic) for superwholock days, I see very little talk of homestuck. And when I do, it is usually with the same flavour of "Wow that fandom was so crazy" as old-DR.

I think there is usually this reactionary retrospective on site-wide popular fandoms to some degree after they start to wane in size. I saw it when I was in the TMA fandom. That thing was a monster, and over all I felt more stressed there than I ever feel now with DR. And after it ended, and really even During those last few episodes, you could feel a level of distaste for the piece of media growing. Although it never really reached critical mass like DR.

Maybe its even more apparent with something like Steven Universe- when it was actively coming out there was so much disdain for it (from some people) and for the fandom. I was there, on the sidelines, but I saw it all and it wasn't fun. But after its finale and a couple years of silence, people now seem to have come around and realized, whoa, so much about all that discourse was way overblown. I feel like a couple years ago there could still have been this sense of "cringe" posting about steven universe, while today its a lot more neutral.

Of course, it's kind of weird to compare DR and SU, and the nature of outside of fandom perspectives on them is not the same. The level of disdain for people posting SU never reached the point of DR either. But if it's anything to go by, I feel like there is hope eventually for people to stop having an immediate knee-jerk reaction to it. To look back and realize, "hey, that was actually pretty good," or "I didn't really appreciate this the first time." Or even just "It's fine actually to have nuanced take on this piece of media I don't like that concludes with them still liking it." I feel like we already got a mini-version of that in 2020, but since that's when I joined I can't speak too much on it.

Small tangent aside, I really appreciate this. I also hope people can come back around to it, or at least appreciate that it made them or other people happy at the time c:

[lullaebies]

Hey! Can you do some headcanons on what it would be like for Helaena and Aegon as parents if the Dance never happened? They were really young when they both died, so would they have more babies if they lived? What would it be like for the twins and Maelor to grow into teenagers, what would the marriage plans for them be like? Love your content btw ❤️

Oh sure!! This should be very fun. The Dance not happening AU could mean a lot of things so there would be many variables, so bear with me a bit haha. (And thank you for the compliment, dear! <333) [also I'm sorry for the length of this if you ask me about the kids I really can speak for HOURS about my hcs.] Helaegon as Parents, Part 2 - No Dance AU Headcanons

⁎ For the if they had more babies question - probably yes! I don't see them abstaining. I think as the first kids grow older Helaena might specifically want more childen, but generally they would just happen as it is the way of life, regardless of planning or not planning. ⁎ Speaking about more children - Helaena and Aegon would be so bad at naming, lmao. They wait until the baby is out to decide, lol. I think Jaehaerys was named after the Old King via Alicent influence and Jaehaera was named in tow to fit, so Maelor would've been the first true name they've chose (I personally imagine that was from Helaena; also for the record, I genuinely don't believe it had anything to do with Maegor lol). Anyways, they would suck at it, and I imagine they'll have a lot more joke names they talk about. Imagine Aegon coming to Helaena like "Daemon the Younger. To piss uncle off." (He got very inspired from Aegon III's naming pettiness😂) and Helaena is like "I should kill you and make our son Aegon the Youngest" LMAO. ⁎ I always said this, but I do feel like there would be a cycle of hardship in the family; Aegon and Helaena were both not exposed to the best of parenting and Aegon will continue to struggle with his substance abuse/vices, which will obviously have effect. I have gone on several tangents on how I can see him and Jaehaerys butting heads like crazy as the father vs the oldest son. I do think there are times Aegon would try harder to be an active parent, especially after Jaehaerys and him get into a big fight, or Jaehaera mediates, or Maelor being visibly upset. I also think there inherent guilt in Aegon for a lot of things, I do think he will try to be better after he gets a few slaps from his first children, as he doesn't want to be like Viserys. His younger children will get the better of it, likely. I like to think he could find power in the fact his kids believe in him still despite everything. ⁎ Helaena would be such a sticky mom ahhh. Jaehaerys could grow taller than Otto and she would still look at him like he's a baby, Jaehaera she would want kept close too (As Alicent wanted her close, cough) and not even speaking about Maelor! I do believe all the kiddos would have her side on most things - Jaehaerys and Maelor being Biggest Defender no. 1 and Intern Smoll Defender no. 2. Jaehaera is The Conciliator coded and she tends to be midway, she'll probably be the one who is most honest with Helaena. ⁎ If Helaegon have more kids, needless to say the first three would be a pretty hands on crew of sibling help. Probably particularly the twins. I think Maelor might have to go through an ick phase at having a younger sibling always on his toes, though really he was just the same to the twins when he was born.

⁎ Some Teenage personality headcanons: Jaehaerys - mr. Trying to be good enough and work hard to be good enough. Extrovert using humor to cope, can be shady and also defensive like dad. Feels like he has a very big responsibility to help mom and family. He takes to a warhammer as a weapon in the future as he has a grip of six✨ Jaehaera - Careful in her steps, emotional intellegence based girl who is a bit too kind on other people sometimes. Likes to sew, and she makes her own dolls as she grows older. Introverted but Tries. Can be awkward when she's not used to someone or can't tell what they're like. Maelor - forever the first family baby, but he is the type to try and push against it LOL. I actually imagine him a bit more bookish and curious. Skinnier kid but has quips and he talks back. I think he's shyer outside of the family, people that don't know him gaslight Aegon his son is not a menace at all, "all he does is read books in the library and be cute are u fr" vibe, but in reality he learned from brother to not take shit. He's a Grandma kid for sure, I like to think he reads to Alicent back when she's elderly. ⁎ To end this off, on marriage proposals and the likes: I think no matter what AU spoken of, one thing that Helaegon would always agree on is that they would prefer their kids to find a love marriage, and I very much believe they would not be into putting them into Targ incest shenanigans unless the kids express they want it. this is one thing they want to break the chain in and are in full agreement - helaegon do not want the kids to have the same burdens they had to deal with. Overall this topic is muddy because its very much depends on the cirucmstances of things, but in the grand scheme of things - if helaegon are not pressured for alliances/not reigining king and queen, love marriages would be preferred if not at least arranged marriages where the prospective spouse is well regarded and of fitting status. If they are pressured for alliances as king and queen - Houses like House Lannister that are Green supporters will likely be considered first, then general houses that can benefit the crown and stability of the realm (possibly even Rhaenyra's family if its to keep the peace), and only then proper houses where the kids find someone they like. It is the feudalistic monarchy way. At the end there would be an attempt to give the best for them, one way or the other.

[desultory-novice]

I don't know if this is going to be expanded upon in Apologies but... What's Adeleine's relationship like with Characters like Meta Knight Magolor and Taranza? I'm just genuinely curious as we don't see them interact with her like the others! I mean... We did see Taranza clean himself up and prepare to go talk to her, Ribbon, and Susie in Star Allies, but not much else.

(Also I just wanted to say, I love how She and Daroach have a little sister/niece/daughter like relashionship!)

Heck yes, Daroach is absolutely Adeleine's super cool uncle! (To contrast Dedede's goofy dad attempts!) He just seems to naturally knows how to be there when she needs it and give her space to grow when she doesn't while Dedede is still trying to figure out if he's going too far or not going far enough?! (Then again, Dedede's origional encounter with the siblings is what put him in that awkward position to begin with. We'll soon see a little more about how his "relationship" with Noir influences his relationship with Adeleine.)

Taranza, once he heard Adeleine's story, probably considered inviting Adeleine to one of his and Susie's "grief nights" ...and then remembered those sometimes (often) involve alcohol and inappropriate yelling and decided against it XD

He offered her a patch of his sizable flower garden instead, if she wanted to plant some flowers for Noir.

Honestly, he doesn't know how to talk to her as well as Susie does because, unlike the two of them, he didn't lose family. TLDR, he wants to be someone who can help and impress and make things better but is a bit too awkward to try.

He has better success with her older brother in the Alternate Timeline, because they have much morein common...

Speaking of! I have this ask on that subject!

Which was such a good idea, I wrote a little scriptlet for it!

--

:Noir in the gardens outside Castle Dedede, training: :Taranza floats up behind him, cordial: Taranza: "You're quite good with that."

Noir: "...You know your way around swords?"  (I thought you were just another squishy wizard...)

Taranza: "Ahaha... Not me! My queen did though. She was...amazing. Glorious. Beautiful..."

Noir: "Oh, right. I remember you now. You're the guy who merc'd his own...!" 

:Noir claps a hand over his stupid mouth: :Taranza looks away: :Noir, ashamed:

Noir: "...Sorry. At some point, I got stuck in the habit of trying to push everyone away on purpose and now...I don't know how to talk to anyone without shoving my foot in my..."

Taranza: "No, it's fine. In fact... it's true. Truer than how most people would phrase it."

:Folds his hands, reflective:

Taranza: "I can lie to myself that the corruption made her a different person but...I know better than anyone that she was still..."

:Noir interrupts him:

Noir: "...She wasn't any different! I could still see her in there! She was calling to me...! Why couldn't I...?!"

:He stops before he breaks down again: :Taranza smiles faintly, sensing a connection building:

Taranza: "I've heard a little about you too. You and...your sister. Has it been hard to talk to the others about?

:Noir trying to play indifferent but struggling: Noir: "...What's there to say? They've already told me it's not my fault."

Taranza: "Do you believe them?"

Noir: "..........No."

Taranza: "Mmm..." :He turns away from the camera:

Taranza: "'I gave her the gift.' 'I wasn't watching her closely enough.'"

:Noir stares at him in disbelief: :It's like he's speaking Noir's mind aloud:

Taranza: "To the others, it sounds like I'm wallowing in my guilt. But to me... it's not something so emotional as 'guilt.' It's just my reality."

Noir: "..."

:Taranza, smiling:

Taranza: "I didn't meant to interrupt your practice however!"

:He starts to leave before Noir stops him:

Noir: "Hey, uh...! What if... there was someone... I wanted to talk to about this...? Would that be...cool?"

Taranza: "It would be excellent! I'm always open for company on the weekend for tea and knitting!"

:Noir cringes in 'guard down' way he hasn't in a while:

Noir: "Tea and...knitting? Seriously...?"

Taranza: "It keeps your hands occupied!"

:Points at Noir's hands, curled tightly around the Rainbow Blade: :Noir admits defeat, giving the first signs of a potential smile:

---

---

[Back to the Ask]

It's a similar deal with Meta Knight, really. It's not that he doesn't care, it's because he does care that he doesn't have a lot to say to Adeleine. Meta Knight is the "watch silently from a distance" type.

His attention is focused much more on Noir than Noir's remarkably emotionally well-balanced and together little sister.

As for Magolor...

I actually did write (another) scene with Adeleine and Magolor but it started to spin off in a direction I couldn't quite wrangle back into place, and I wasn't wholly satisfied with where it was going or what it was doing for either Adeleine or Magolor's characters so I scrapped it. Since I already dropped another script here, we might as well make this an Apologies AU script party and drop that one here too!!

---

[Old Unfinished Thing]

:Adeleine steps inside the Lor:

Adeleine: "Magolor?"

:He is asleep on the console, murmuring:

Magolor: "...L-let...let me go... ...Help...me... Ki...rby..."

:She shakes him, worried:

Adeleine: "Magolor! Are you okay?!"

Magolor: "AH!?" "What?!" "Oh! Adeleine..."

:He calms down, finally seeing her:

Adeleine: "Sorry to surprise you. You asked to see me?"

:shockingly chipper given a second ago:

Magolor: "Yes, yes! It won't be long! I just need to 'fit' you for something!"

Adeleine: "What is it?"

Magolor: "I'm calling them 'dress-up masks.'

:Magolor points to the Lor's screen, showing the ones he's got already. They start to scroll by, renders of the masks' various 'models' showing up alongside them: :Adeleine, impressed:

Adeleine: "...Wow! You made all of these yourself? They're so cool!"

Magolor: "That's right! And every last one was snapped and modeled by yours truly! With the Lor here, I was able to hop back and forth across timelines like it was nothing!"

:Eyes closed, getting into his boastful story:

Magolor: "Some of these very VERY tricky to get of course! Not everyone wanted to be immortalized in the galaxy's BEST theme park! I got in a couple of fights... Won them all, of course!"

:He trails off when he opens his eyes and realizes Adeleine is staring at the Dark Matter Blade mask and model: :Magolor, pensive:

Magolor: "I heard... from Susie, that is... ...that unusual looking Dark Matter...was your brother?"

:Adeleine nods slowly:

Adeleine: "Noir..." "You...met him? While he was like that?"

:Adeleine, frightened to ask: :Magolor reads this emotion on her:

Magolor: "Yes! He was...strong! Truly a noble warrior! The toughest I ever faced! You ought to know I barely got out of there with my...!"

:Adeleine's expression sinks: :She knows Magolor is making stuff up for her sake:

Magolor: "...Sigh."

:He taps a button: :text appears beside the image: :the label "Dark Matter Clone" now displays beside the mask:

Magolor: "I couldn't do it. It's not him up there. Not your brother. Not...exactly. I snapped a recreation from another timeline. One without emotion. I did try to go back there. Back to the source."

:His expression tighens:

"But what I saw fighting Kirby in those dark skies... frightened me."

:He turns off the mask display:

"...Because I've been there."

Magolor: "I made a decision when I started this project: I wouldn't shy away from anything. Even the bad. I felt that everyone, like me, deserved the chance to own up to their sins and become free."

Magolor: "...But I'm a hypocrite."

:He taps at several more keys in a row: :A model shows up on screen as Magolor turns away from it:

Magolor: "Because there's one mask missing..."

:This model has no accompanying mask: :Magolor Soul's haunted expression stares back at the camera:

Magolor: "...I can't stand to look at it. To remember. I couldn't just neglect your brother but, honestly? I can't stand to see him either."

"Do you think I'm an awful person?"

:Magolor's own face reflects the haunted, mauled smile of his soul:

Adeleine: "...No. An awful person wouldn't have felt bad enough about lying to tell me the truth. ...Even if it's unpleasant."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to hear pleasant stories yet. I only saw him once and I was so scared, I ran away. Maybe...if I hadn't, if I'd tried to reach out to him, he'd still be here in some form...?"

-

(For your sake, Adeleine, I won't repeat the things I saw or heard that night. I'm sorry if that means you'll never know your brother's last moments. But I can't...I'm not ready to face that part of myself yet.)

...

[//ANNND like I said, this is about where I realized that not only had this gone on way too long and I had no ending in mind, these two had gotten massively OOC over the course of it and cut the story here!]

---

---

TLDR, Magolor is usually pretty good with kids and pretty good with "faking it" too but he's also something of what we would call a "bad adult." That said, Magolor's status as a non-paragon means that he can give her a perspective NONE of the good adults WILL give her.

Which is valuable.

(It's just not the one above. Because I don't like that XD )

PS: Since Apologies actually crosses over into Salty French Bread(!!) it ought to be said that unlike her brother, Adeleine thinks Marx is the cutest, funniest little guy and because Adeleine loves him so much, Marx in turn loves playing silly tricks with Adeleine like eating all her crayons and then splitting in two to create a rainbow.

...

...

...

...

...

Oh? What's this?

Are you still here?

I suppose since I'm giving out Apologies script bits in this post there's no harm in delivering a final little tidbit. Like the above, this monologue is also NOT Apologies Canon, but if we have any fans of mindbreak + horror in the audience, you might enjoy this brief (non-canon!) potential exploration into Noir's mind during Arc II...

---

Stop.it.Don't.make.me.remember.who.I.am.because.being.****.is.only.pain.Even.without.this.thing.twisting.inside.me.breathing.through.every.pore.of.my.body.I.can.feel.myself.dying.every.time.it.moves.But.no.matter.how.much.it.hurts.I.never.just.die.I'm.not.brave.I'm.not.unstoppable.I'm.afraid.and.I.want.it.to.stop.Mom.dad.why.did.you.have.to.leave.us.alone.I.didn't.ask.for.any.of.this.********.Where.are.you.right.now.I.can't.hear.anything.I.can't.see.anything.Only.darkness.No.stars.Please.don't.find.me.********.God.you.have.to.stay.away.because.where.I.am.there.is.only.darkness.Only.darkness.********.Only.dark...

********... ****...**...

[theneighborhoodwatch]

ramble about wally & home's codependent swag. do it. you know you want to /lh

sorry for sitting so long on this one, anon. it's good to let thoughts Ferment sometimes. anyway - [pulls up a chair to sit down on it backwards, facing you]

so, the way i see it: it all comes back to home, yeah? home is not just the house - home is also the name of the town, it is very likely the town itself, and that town may be (as far as we know) the entire world. the very Concept of the home been discussed by clown as a central theme of welcome home a few times on his blog. when i say that home is everything, i do mean everything, and i don't think there's anyone for whom that rings more true than wally.

i know i link back to my older posts a lot, but i swear this one is relevant bc i wanna elaborate on a point that i make in the first half of it: the way i see it (as of the time of this writing) home, in all senses of the word, is wally's top priority. which is not to say that his devotion towards home supersedes everything else, but that everything else sort of feeds back into it by design. the neighbors? they are there to inhabit home. we, the audience? we are there to perceive home and round out its population. the WHRP*? they said it themselves - they're there to make that fucking house a home. home is everything, and in turn, everything is for the sake of preserving home. wally cares for his neighbors, and he cares for Us, but would either of those still be the case if there was no home to preserve? i'm not sure.

there is a catch to this, though. of course there is. wally's identity already seems tied pretty heavily to other people; he learns from his neighbors, and he does so on the audience's behalf. given everything i've written in the above paragraph, this can arguably be an extension of his devotion to home, however genuine those relationships may be in their own right. in other words, home (more specifically the restoration/preservation of home) is not only wally's chief motivation, but as far as he's concerned, the reason he exists at all. i think a lot about these tags that @pretty-in-possible (hope you don't mind the tag) left on a post of mine describing their image of wally:

and i had something very similar in mind. if wally's goal truly is the restoration/preservation of home - in this context, his raison d'être, the basis for his entire sense of self - then i can imagine why he would be willing to follow his original role as closely as he could even 50 years after the end of the original show. i can imagine that outgrowing that role in any capacity would feel like a sin. i can imagine that watching his friends outgrow theirs, or at least express a desire to do so, would seem extremely reckless to him, if not an outright betrayal.

("wait," you might say. "doesn't tampering with the site technically count as him adapting/evolving past his original role as audience surrogate?" "yes 8]" i would say. i would not elaborate, and then we would move on.)

i've mostly been talking about wally's side of things, and the reason for that is mostly that wally is just easier to speculate about. home is such a mystery that some people aren't even sure if they're the same being that was on the original show; i've seen people posit that whatever home is now, it is Not what they were originally, either that they're undead or that they've since become a husk for Something Else to inhabit, or some third thing i'm forgetting. either way, i think it's interesting that as attached as wally is to home, even he doesn't seem to be able to assess whatever their needs are with 100% accuracy - if the duet audio is to be believed, there's at least Some guesswork involved. who's to say that wally isn't just hearing what he wants to hear, at least some of the time?

i wonder - how does home feel about being an Embodiment, not of just the town, but of the very word "home?" are they frustrated with the fact that even wally, their own inhabitant, can never fully understand them, and has become resentful? do they appreciate the effort regardless, but feel a growing impatience gnawing at them day by day? are they apathetic at best towards wally, but need him to fulfill some goal or another, since they're an inanimate building? either way, i can't help but feel that home also relies on wally in some way; perhaps not as heavily as he relies on them, perhaps not in the same way or for the same reasons. but there is something Mutual there, i think.

tl;dr: these two are hurtling towards disaster and i, for one, cannot wait to see every last bit of it. here are two songs that remind me of them every time i hear them, the realization of which is often accompanied by guttural wailing.

* wally doesn't seem to have any strong feelings towards the WHRP team outside of maybe sharing the same motivation as them (i.e. restoration) but this may be because he's either hiding from them and also doesn't seem like the kind of guy to Express negative emotions, or he because he is the WHRP team - we'll see how things shake out.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Character opinion bingo ask: Kyouka and Akutagawa?

~ Note

Hi Note! :D

Omg... Kyouka and Akutagawa my beloveds...

Kyouka:

They are sooooo cool looking: Kyouka's outfits are excellent and she looks great in everything. Ok so maybe it's more pretty/cute but still. I think it counts.

Wasted potential: Sigh... ok so this might be an unpopular opinion, but while I think she's fine in the main series I felt her role in Beast should've been more significant. While it made sense that her and Atsushi would end up unhealthily over-reliant on each other in an environment where they're the only ones they have... I think it would've been more intriguing to have Kyouka take a bigger role there, since she was so important to the sskk dynamic in the main universe. Also I was under the impression that the whole reason she bonded so strongly to Atsushi was because of his helping and inspiring her... so idk. I wish she had've left the Mafia in Beast and stayed out but didn't get found right away. Maybe Akutagawa is forced to reassess his role as an older sibling based off their interactions (early indications that his and Gin's relationship won't be magically repaired once he finds her). Maybe Kyouka is constantly conflicted between her desire to get out from the Mafia and her desire to not see Atsushi get hurt. Maybe Akutagawa is faced with someone who can't decide whether or not she is helping or hindering him, someone he doesn't know well enough to reach but knows just well enough to feel uncomfortable with the notion of cutting her down. I just think more could've been done than using Kyouka as a means of forcing Atsushi's hand. Plus it would've meant Atsushi and Kyouka angst as she tries to reach him and he tries to reach her and they both, due to acting out of their own trauma and fear, fundamentally miss what the other really needs. Anyways. Sorry for the rant. To clarify, I don't hate what was done (Beast is really good!) I just. Yeah, wasted potential.

They're deeper than they seem: I mean that was the whole point of my "Kyouka's impact on sskk" post. But more than that, she actually has a lot of depth to her. She's clever and competent, as well as childish and snarky. She's easily taken with simple joys and also capable of unshakeable focus. She has issues trusting people and real, honest, believable reactions to her own pain and seeing others go through it. Slowly but surely, she comes alive. She's a whole person!!! And her development is still one of my favourites in the series.

They work better as part of a dynamic: I would love some solo Kyouka focus but it's funny because much as Kyouka isn't intending it, for some reason her mere presence means that someone around her is getting some realization or character development. Seriously. She kickstarts sskk, her choices are at the crux of Kouyou's story and development. Her conflict with Higuchi affirms Higuchi's loyalty even in the face of severe injury, and Mushitarou starts taking advice from Yokomizo when her and Atsushi go to save him. Even Dazai has a moment of genuineness when he's talking to her about people changing for the better - he's thinking about Oda and I'm pretty sure Asagiri confirmed those were his honest thoughts. So, yeah, I love Kyouka as a character individually but also whenever she shows up it means we're getting some good conflict and scenes with other characters too. Which is awesome and compelling.

They've never done anything wrong in their life: yeah :)

Akutagawa:

They are sooooo cool looking/Why do they look like that: I. I want to roast him for what he's wearing and his hair but sometimes he really does look legitimately cool, especially in the manga. I don't think I will ever get that one panel from the Fukuchi fight out of my head - the one where he creates essentially Rashoumon spider limbs out of his shirt - I have no idea why he dresses like a goth victorian edgelord but props to him for somehow pulling it off. (This panel btw. Gosh he's so cool.)

If they were real, I'd be afraid of them: I mean, I think this is a valid thing to feel.

Didn't get enough screen time: Ok so I know that sounds weird but for his importance he actually doesn't get that many scenes... surprisingly? Like, he shows up at key scenes and then basically dips lol. For a deuteragonist and foil of the main character, idk I guess I was just surprised when I started reading at how little he actually appeared. Especially since the doa arc started. Where is my boy Asagiri??? Can he maybe... not be a vampire anymore? K thanks.

They work better as part of a dynamic: Well, clearly the sskk dynamic is top tier. And I love his relationship with Gin and would like to see it expanded on, plus the complicated mess that is his dynamic with Kyouka. His dynamic with Dazai, uncomfortable though it is to see, is very intriguing as a reader and I desperately want to know more. However... tying back in with what I said about the screen time, I really want to see more of just Akutagawa. The Hawthorne/Mitchell fight is so good to me because he's the only character we really know in advance at that point, and a lot of the fight is him thinking over Atsushi's words. I would like to see more of Akutagawa on his own tbh, and I'm hoping that's what the whole vampire thing builds up to.

[shoezuki]

there's dsmp lore going on rn (tubbo and wil I believe) and I'm gonna be completely honest.... I really couldn't care less. Like, I'm happy that they're having fun and getting back into lore but at this point it's just so.. exhausting to follow. Not even because of the members themselves, they're all wonderful, but the lore discourse is so tiring nowadays.

I've just been having such a fun time with other streams lately, whether it's the newer (and abandoned) smps, or the variety or irl stuff they've been doing. Going back into the dsmp angst just.. doesn't call to me at all (and this is in no way bashing people who are into it btw, I'm just rambling).

I'll probably still watch lore if it's techno's (or even phil's maybe) but otherwise just stick to semi-lore or non-lore content from the rest. Because techno's lore is genuinely so much easier to sit through than anyone else's, in the sense that I can enjoy it even when I'm not actually invested in the overall story like, at all. I can just watch funny pig man be funny and good at block game.

I just wish we could've got more of origins, or maybe a reset for the dsmp, or just let go of the older arcs a bit and move on to new growth. I think we were moving away from the whole l'manberg stuff pretty well and the revival of wilbur just brought us all back, but maybe they'll take the time to close the loose ends and move on idk, I hope so.

Anon im in the same fuckin boat i am like.....damn aha i . Dont really care JSLDHDIDHD

Like. Even gettin secondhand lore? I was more interested in seein what ppl sayin bout jack manifold's stream. But then wilbur went live or tubbo idk and thats all i can see now bout Lore and ppl confused bout whats canon n ppl crying? Idk im like. I do not care.

The entire treatment of lore and how its sometimes a struggle to figure out shit like the timeline or whats retconned and whats not. Even jus how ppl dig into lore so intently and how i cant watch shit without that bug in the backof my mind thats like 'people are going to horribly misinterpret this' or how ppl value some lore over others or how dissatisfying i tend to find it all now. I am so jaded n uninterested in dsmp lore. Its not fun to me anymore. I end up more frustrated or confused as to Why ppl are hyping up some a this so i jus dont bother

Like. I really only watch techno now. Cuz at least w Him i find i can jus Watch it and Enjoy it lore or not.

[metayos]

this time on metayos: befriending yosuke & meeting saki konishi

yosuke has met souji previously, but this is the first time they've really talked, and right away he launches into discussion of the recent murder. this says it's been on his mind a LOT, which is normal -- it was a murder -- but so many other characters in the story have already dismissed it as something beyond them.

yosuke's from the city. it's not like this is rocking his tiny world. or maybe it is, maybe this is a first -- but i think it speaks to a level of empathy not usually exemplified in characters like this. for all the missteps taken with yosuke’s character, i think he’s still a pleasant example of the character archetype he is a part of.

according to a friend from brazil, it’s not uncommon for the “driver” to stand on the pedals while their “passenger” sits on the seat and holds their feet up. makes sense to me, but then, why did golden --

ah, fuck it. golden’s added story sucks and is inconsistent at best with yosuke’s character. let’s not ask a question whose answer is “they didn’t care”.

anyway, yosuke then invites souji out for steak, on him. yosuke’s frugal, as the game reveals down the line, but even so he offers “the local delicacy” to his new friend for the noble act of rescuing him from a trashcan. he’s pissy when chie hops on the bandwagon, because he has no interest in treating her, broken DVD or no. special treatment towards souji, and they’ve only just met. talk about gay, yosuke.

at junes, we meet saki konishi, yosuke’s co-worker and senpai. yosuke cares about saki, more of that sweet empathy from before. but let's talk about how many people, other characters included, interpret this as a romantic affection.

i posit this to you: it's not!

yosuke likes saki, yes, but he's not infatuated with her. he thinks she's really cool, and he seeks her approval, and she seems to care about him -- for a kid who reveals down the line that he's never had any real friends, someone like saki is special.

of course, i think a little puppy crush is also reasonable, but i prefer to think that yosuke’s feelings for saki were entirely platonic.

he worries about her. he's not the single-minded ladies man that golden tried to paint him as; far from it. he's a caring soul, and saki is probably, almost certainly, one of the only people he's ever gotten this close to. they have a dynamic, a brother/sister relationship that he (an only child) has never had.

he's obviously friends with chie, as well, but chie is his age, brash, and likes to play around. yosuke mimics that energy when he's with her. he does that a lot -- as an empath, he takes in and gives out the energy that surrounds him. (a good protagonist always says "calm down" when available, because yosuke is most likely to benefit from it.)

he's a good kid. people who dismiss him as an egocentric womanizer are missing the point. granted, i'm sure golden has painted that view of him, but even in golden we have scenes like this. he's a complex character, one often dismissed by the fandom (even the parts that like him). as someone who muses him, i can’t tell you how many group roleplays i’ve been in where he was constantly treated like the butt of a joke. fair, sometimes -- but he’s more than comic relief.

i honestly believe these are saki’s true feelings. she sees yosuke as a genuine, kind young boy who follows her around like a lost puppy. sometimes that probably gets annoying, but as an older sister, she’s generally capable of handling it.

i don’t think saki ever disliked him. but that’s for my next post...

stay tuned!

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

[strawberryamanita]

People say it gets better over time, what do I do when over time more problems have been showing up. Ive had anxiety and depression for a while now and recently more things have been showing up. I don't know what to Do. I feel like my family doesn't care for my mental health that much, and only took it seriously when I brought up suicidal thoughts. But its been a few years and I feel like they've forgotten it all. I'm sorry to vent, I just don't know what to do

i’ll admit, this is a little much to be hit with out of nowhere, Anon. i’m gonna still answer, just know that my DM’s would be better for this kind of thing. i’m not a professional, and if this was a night that i couldn’t answer this i would’ve needed to ask you personally if you’re seeing a professional -- which is information you have a right to not share with the public.

when people say “it gets better”, it does admittedly feel like a copout. nobody can promise you it gets better. nobody knows if it gets better, unless they can see the future with 100% accuracy. i’m not saying it’s impossible that it will get better, but it’s become such a cliche at this point that it feels ineffective. honestly, sometimes when i hear “it gets better”, it’s mostly because other people are afraid, and they want to speak good things into existence out of superstition or whatever.

i’m not going to promise you that it gets better, Anon. i couldn’t in good faith, and i couldn’t with total honesty. but what i can promise you is that it gets easier to deal with.

i myself live with a fair amount of trauma; i only share that to tell you the advice i’m giving you is based off experience. i’ve been fucked over by so many people that i’m almost in disbelief when people tell me so -- especially when they’re some of the people that’ve fucked me over. so at that point it sounds like people just kinda say whatever they want to me, whether it’s genuine or not, and i just kind of have to live with it. but in a weird, twisted way, it’s kind of a blessing: it’s helped train me to pick and choose who i want to believe and take the word of, instead of nodding my head mindlessly to whatever my parents or older relatives or whoever say.

and what i’ve learned from looking inside myself, instead of just letting myself being talked-at, is that, yes -- it does get easier to deal with. we know this to be true based on how the rest of our body reacts to trauma: all scars started as cuts at some point, all callouses started as blisters. the term “emotional scarring” is thrown around a lot, but that’s honestly the most accurate way to describe traumatic things that forever weigh heavy on the mind. the part of your brain that was hurt from the shit that’s happened to you now sits as if it has a scar: some days you can poke at it no problem, some days you don’t even give anything the idea of touching it. but the great thing about scars is that tissue builds around it. cells regenerate from nothing. our body forms bridges and walls and shields around our wounds without us even telling it to, and there’s something kind of beautiful about that. and even though scars look imperfect compared to other cuts that’ve healed, a lot of people do find them to “build character” -- they’re reminders that we’ve been some shit, and we’re still alive despite it.

i’m very proud of you for being open about your mental despair, Anon. i think that what you should work on, instead of spending your time tending to wounds that are scarring on their own, is finding moments to let yourself live genuinely and actively make your happiness happen. i know it’s easier said than done, but you aren’t going to be considered a failure or invalid or whatever if you don’t get to that happiness right away. progress isn’t linear, and victories should be praised no matter how small(as a tangent i’d look up Skinner Box experiments if you wanna see how that kind of emotional encouragement works from a third-person perspective. the lil lab ratties they work with are congratulated no matter how much or little they accomplish). ***furthermore, Anon, if this is more urgent and you need a mental health hotline, i’ll give you some links.

you’re making more progress than you think. i believe in you. <3