#sometimes I just wish Odin put Loki in an asgardian orphanage and let him be adopted by a regular family

[ineffablelara]

Loki's dysfunctional family

"I don’t want to hear your riddles and your vague excuses for him, I want the truth. Answer me!"

This is from wml, I consider the book to be its own canon but still, I think this sums up Loki's relationship with Frigga very well, he loves her and she loves him but her priority is always defending Odin, even if she has to lie to Loki to achieve that, she also created this persona where she is the wise, all-knowing queen who always knows better than everyone else, I love how it's the one thing that all the movies that feature her got right, she's probably the most consistent character from all the Thor movies bc she always behaves and speaks in the same way: "You're a little foolish child but I love you and I also know better than you'll ever know so just listen to me for I am you mother and I'm wiser than you"

Like, even in a deleted scene from the first Thor she displays this slightly narcissistic behavior (I didn't want to use the word narcissistic bc that migt be a bit extreme but rn I can't think of another word, please don't think I'm calling her a monster or something, I just think she displays a little arrogance in ways that can be considered funny, playful or harmless sometimes)

"Thor, just remember, you have something even the great Allfather never had" "What is that?" "Me for a mother, now don't keep you father waiting"

"Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself"

"You're no idiot, you're here aren't you? Seeking counsel from the wisest person in Asgard"

This is just from the movies, in the official tdw novelization she has a conversation with Jane that happens after the "don't let him hear you say that" scene that goes:

“I can’t remember the last time Thor brought a friend home to meet us,” Frigga said to Jane. “When a young man brings a young woman home to meet his parents…” Frigga began, implying a possible marriage between Thor and Jane. “Technically, I think we have only known each other for three days,” Jane said, surprised to be having this conversation so soon. “And if it were three million, would that change how you feel?”

This last one always makes laugh bc... girl I really don't know if my feelings for a man I met three days ago would remain the same after three million years, was that really supposed to sound wise and reasonable? lmao okayy

And the "Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself" one kinda makes me uncomfortable bc it sounds patronizing, this might just be my own traumas speaking but telling someone that they don't know how they feel but you do always strikes a nerve , it makes me so angry bc who are you to tell me that I'm wrong about my own feelings?

And also, is Loki really not perceptive about himself? Really? Is she going going full Thor with the "imagined slights" thing?

This is what bothers me the most about Loki's family dynamic, they NEVER take him or his complaints seriously, they always downplay his grievances to make him sound ungratefull or overly dramatic and this is one of the most hurtful things you can do to a person imo, Loki voices a discomfort he has with something about their family and they instantly try to silence him or make him feel bad for complaining, that's why I'm glad he started to stand his ground with her in the prison scene

I think he then understood how alone he truly was, Frigga didn't exactly wanted to hear what he had to say nor did she try to understand him and his motives for doing what he did, she just wanted him to accept that Odin was indeed his father, a great King who did no wrong and they were a perfect family

And this doesn't happen just with Frigga, Thor participates in that too and their behavior almost reads to me as gaslighting sometimes, there's a scene in wml that always stuck with me:

Thor let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what it is that I have done,” he said, his voice softer than usual. Loki snorted. “Oh, please.” “I’m trying to apologize.” “And yet you can’t even work out what for, so I don’t think it counts.” Thor stared at him, his hands working in and out of fists at his side. Loki braced himself, ready for Thor to strike something, possibly him, but instead he said, his tone soft with hurt, “You are so determined to despise me, aren’t you?” It would have been better to be struck. Loki flinched as though he had been. “I don’t—” But Thor held up a hand. “Spare me, brother. Whatever you hold against me, whatever I have done to wound you, I hope you know that I am not your enemy. I want to fight by your side, not against you.”

For those of you who haven't read the book here goes some context: (ohh and obviously this contains spoilers so be aware)

Loki and Thor were sent to a diplomatic mission in Alfheim and things got out of hand, Loki then came up with a scheme to turn things to their favor wich Thor promptly agreed, things obviously didn't turn well for them and they got caught, they were sent to Odin who demanded an explanation for their behavior, Thor then tossed all the blame on Loki, saying that it was all his idea and he had no choice but going along with it, Odin then scolded Thor and let him go and proceeded to HUMILATE Loki for his behavior and even insinuated that his son had a dark and evil nature and there was no point in trying to change that bc people can't change their hearts and who they really are deep down, Loki was really hurt after Odin's harsh words and Thor went to "apologize" to him, Loki was furious and said they could have at least shared the blame, but Thor said that he couldn't risk angering their father, Thor then says the first line of the dialogue I put here and well, I'm assuming you read the rest.

Like, I can't believe Thor's audacity in that book, he threw his own brother under the bus bc he was scared of angering Odin and then left Loki there, completely alone to face their terrifying father (they're both scared of him in the book, it's very clear), then he goes to his rooms with a half assed apology and expects Loki to just forgive him and his cowardice as if nothing happened and goes even further by saying that Loki just keeps trying to find reasons to despise him???

The worst part is: It works, Loki wishes that Thor had just striked him bc his words hurt more than a punch, nevermind that he was the one who just got betrayed, Thor finds a way to paint him as the bad guy and Loki buys it, istg they're so toxic, it's painful to read but at the same time I feel it's so accurate

Also, I'm not hating on Thor for behaving like that btw, yes it was fucked up and he was a coward but that's only a symptom of Odin's bad parentage, his influence destroyed any chance Loki and Thor had of being normal, loving siblings, they were so terrified of him that they were willing to do anything to stay on his good graces, even if that meant betraying each other

Ans my point is, Loki's family is used to turn his words and actions against him, even if they're not aware of what they're doing, they manipulate him to invalidate his feelings and that only alienates him further from them, he gets more and more alone bc no one ever tries to show him genuine understanding and compassion, they only ever have accusing words for him and make him feel like he's a monster for criticizing them and their crappy behavior, he knows that he can't count on the two people he loves the most (Thor and Frigga) to share his pain and suffering so what does he do? He drowns in his own sorrow and heartbreak and lets those negative feelings fester inside him bc he has no one willing to listen to him, willing to be a friend

That's part of his tragedy, stuck in a toxic family that makes him feel awful for daring to complain about their behavior and spending his whole life without ever making a real friend (I mean, OG Loki at least), always isolated, always misunderstood, vilanized by the very people who claimed to love him, and I mean, if his own family thought he was a monster how could he allow himself to show vulnerability to others? They would hate him even more right?

And just like that Loki stayed stuck in his toxic family for nearly his whole life, bc he was unable to let himself be seen by others, the irony I think, is if he left them he would see how fucked up they were and would surely break free from their toxicity but his fear of being misunderstood kept him chained with them forever basically, and the longer he stayed the worse his self esteem got, and the worse his self esteem got the longer he stayed.

Thanks for reading all this, I don't think I ever yapped that much about Loki but I really could spend a whole day talking about his dysfunctional family lol