#sometimes I forget that I'm teaching these tiny people how to be humans

[trans-yllz]

the kids like to tease me about always wearing the same clothes and outfits and ask why I've worn things multiple times and I don't really care so I never really shut it down but it's gotten to a point where these very well off children are stepping over a line and today I had to be like hey. you aren't hurting My feelings but questions and comments like that generally aren't appropriate and can make ppl uncomfortable let's not comment on other people's appearances

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

sometimes I feel like the old community that built up the alterhuman / nonhuman community has been forgotten.

Like everything has been so humanized, our identities are no longer deep because we don't teach the newer ones to try and understand it.

Sort of now feels like a game of "what feels like you the best?" And obviously, that isnt bad nor has it even been a problem. I've just been having this gut feeling that the whole community is becoming more and more human and forgetting what brought us here in the first place. Why we even feel these sorts of things. Like being a part of yourself is just a side blog, just something that is an add on and not something that is apart of you if that makes sense...

I feel lonely a lot, because I can rarely find anyone who connects with their nonhumanity as deeply as I do.

Rven though I'm currently not practicing being nonhuman and focusing on my shifts - no, not practicing, releasing. I haven't been releasing recently due to life and existing really lol. But either way, I just feel like this emptiness from being human is leaking very deeply into these places that once went to these places to hide from that.

Maybe others understand what im getting at and feel the same lol. I know others can't tell the difference, but I certainly can. And of course being human for some is an important part of their identity! I mean like I love being human - there's so many neat cool things and it's so great that I can even write this out so other creatures and decipher my thoughts and gain meaning out of them.

I just feel like the older, deeper, and more core primal part of the nonhuman community has been shunned and forgotten because of the bad reputation it has. And it's dying, and it's just mournful to see people wander onto these alterhuman places that don't connect with them, and talking about something that this other group completely understands, but has been completely lost and forgotten about.

Its scary to think that the p-shifting community is dying. But people don't want to believe in things that challenge the rational world now, and that's okay. Perhaps it needs to die. I'll always be a p-shifter through and through though. I'll always be a shapeshifter, even if nobody knows or understands what that is anymore.

Perhaps, a new community will grow over these old roots and find new meaning to shapeshifting. Perhaps our flawed ways will be seen and avoided. I want to see a community that isn't dying or dead because someone is a dictator with no actual experience in shapeshifting. I want to see a community where being a hybrid is okay, being unrealistic in your form is fine, that discovering werewolves and shapeshifting through a TV show doesn't make you a faker.

The p-shifting community is flawed. I do hope the old dumpsterfire dies. And I hope to god that we come out on the other side healthier and more alive then ever. I will say though, I have a feeling that no matter what happens the meaning of physically shifting will be lost no matter what we do. It's too taboo, too strange to most, and defies all logic in tiny human brains. That's okay though.

The practice has never been bad, but the people have been. I believe that p-shifting has never been bad (Of course if you apply it correctly. Anything done incorrectly can cause issues, including p-shifting) but the people who claim it, the people who attempt to dictate it, are. We don't need to destroy and harm and ban people because they aren't what you want, because they don't fit your standard of okay cuz there isn't any "science".

ill probably cover that anothertime, I'm incredibly passionate about the issues in the shapeshifting/ werewolf / p-shifter whatever you want to call it community.

But anyways, this is a tiny post about just expressing how I feel about this lack of depth that I feel about alterhumanity as a whole. I feel like they are moving in a direction that has lost the core meaning of being something other than human .

I will say though, it depends on how you view yourself and your relationship with your humanity. Perhaps all along there has been a large majority of people who sort of identify with being not human, but are mostly human. Perhaps the shapeshifter community is just an extreme version of this, that's why there's a lack of depth to it (personally to me)

regardless. Most likely no one will read this lolll

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

Yeah, p-shifters have a horrible wrap from years of damage, and I don't think we will ever be able to clear this damage, or be "forgiven" for our sins. There is nothing to forgive.

And I feel absolutely horrible about what has happened to others. I hate that people teach and reteach the idea that p-shifting is the only thing that matters. The only thing to do, to say, and to BE. That's what breaks them, that's what hurts them.

P-shifting is only a tiny, itty bitty part of shifting. Many of us will spend less then %1 of our lives in our shifted form, and to think it's the largest discourse in the WHOLE community! I've read too many stories of people who have been manipulated by cults, and end up harming themselves badly because of their teachings. Many of these stories have something similar in common-

They want to escape human life.

I wanted to escape it. She and he and they - many people flock to p-shifting because they promise an escape to life. We skip past the warnings and jump right in, without listening at all.

And it's scary, because not knowing the effects of just jumping right in could hinder, damage, or even scar you. Sometimes I think that I'm lucky to have not fallen into a cult, or bought into their lies. I had to slow down and M-Shift first, and once I put p-shifting second, I was finally able to learn, grow, and understand more about what I was actually doing. I'm glad I didn't cut corners.

I don't think we should ever downplay the damage. We should teach what has happened in the past, and learn from it to adjust how we spread information. I just have to wonder how many people have willingly came, asked or found the information, and now regret all of it. People who are triggered by seeing physical shifters. People who will gladly spread hate and cyberbully p-shifters. It's an age old arguement that will probably never die.

*sigh.*

You don't have to p-shift to be considered a shifter. It doesn't matter if you experience one type of shift, or another type of shift, or whatever. Very few people can p-shift, and even fewer will ever achieve p-shifting. We forget that many people who are fighting this battle have never p-shifted before, because everyone else has checked out from it.

And I fucking hate the people who manipulate everyone below them. Fucking sad people who have nothing better to do then tell little kids to die because they asked a question or argue against them. People who are scum to everyone around them, including their real life.

And no, I will never teach p-shifting unless somebody asks. I feel like we always forget to warn others of the consequences of shifting. I feel like many people can't take attempting to p-shift if they distance themselves from reality itself. And I'm worried for a lot of people too, about what they read and how it breaks them, over and over again.

I've had my fair share of breaking apart and trying to put things back together. Learning that Blaze was a fake, having multiple identity dilemmas, frustration, boredom, anxiety... but I'm still here. I can't say the same for other people, and my heart goes out to them.

All I'm trying to say is no, we shouldn't forgive or downplay the damage done. Instead of fighting the same battle, the same ideas spread everywhere over and over again, we need to learn from our mistakes and become better. Instead of fighting, we should be growing and learning from our mistakes, and understanding that p-shifting can be incredibly harmful to people. To many people, especially those who want to escape from their human life or reality itself.

Either way, I just wish that one day we could co-exist, without the hate or fear-mongering. It's a desperate and probably hopeless, but either way. I just fucking wish people didn't hurt people. Hurt people hurt people.

(This isn't supposed to start an arguement, just talk more on this.)

I wanted to let you know that from 2010 until 2019, I was in a cult that predominantly focused on physical shifting, built around the narcissism and manipulations of the “alpha”, who recruited anyone looking for answers and especially focused on recruiting children l. This alpha started an entire community around information and myths she twisted into supporting her narrative, and would bully anyone, even doxxing them. The worst of it? She’s a cop. She has the power for that. And for those ten years I really believed that I was a physical shifting werewolf until her beta - her beta of FIFTEEN years, told me that she and the leader never shifted. It was all just a power fantasy and waiting for magic to occur, magic that hasn’t ever been possible in our lifetime. I believe that at one point there were shifters, back when magic was far stronger than it is now, but I waited my entire childhood and adulthood for a shift that wouldn’t come. I got bullied in school for not realizing I was in a cult, I lost relationships, I even had to move because of it. I didn’t even realize the leader was batshit insane until she tried to tell me that she’s a “decedent of the goddess Selene and also was the wolf who built Rome”. I tell anyone who identifies as shifters this story, because I want people to get out of any possible cults, of any possible teachings by shifter cults and people in them. Pls get out when you can, and not when it’s almost too late

I know exactly who you're talking about, and won't hesitate to tell everyone that this person gives shifters a bad name.

Do not listen to SheAngel / TrollQueen.

Those are her two main usernames, and I've seen nothing but toxicity from her and anyone to do with her, and this only confirms it. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, and if she sees this then she can confirm for herself that I have tried to respect her and give her that benefit in the past, but I won't support or respect a situation like this.

Anon, I'm sorry you had to go through that. From what I've seen, a lot of the people in her community believe they're a shifter but most of them never have been and never will be. It's an ability you're born with, and I did "join" her community for some time to see what she was telling people, and it just made me sad. The amount of people spreading falsities as truth was just insane to me. I'm careful in what information I share publicly, but anyone is always free to dm me and I will give you all the information you request. If I share all of it publicly and share all of my personal experiences, it will only make it easier for more fakes to pop up and do EXACTLY what is so toxic to our community.

This kind of situation kills me, especially being a leader among the community myself. It literally pains me when I see situations like yours, Anon. Someone who has been lied to and gone through even remotely what you have..

I wish you the best in life, and hope the rest of it is wonderful. I thank you for your selflessness in sending this ask, and I only hope that others can get out from under her shadow as you have.

[dadsbongos]

I never realized how much I needed antag reader until I read them on your blog (which I love btw you're so good it's insane) I'm really curious of what pre-game antag reader was like, so could I request for pre-game antag reader before remnants of despair and how she interacts with her fellow classmates and Hajime (reserve course Hajime needs a hug). Thanks!!

i love this :)))) thank you so much for asking this nonny

Request for: Hajime Hinata (and the class ig but we all know who the focus is on this series) Warnings: god complex, antag reader tings (bullying) ~~~

Headcanons:

🐇Honestly I feel like it’d be more interesting if this was for V3 but this is still epic 🐇I think she’s still kind of an asshole but not so much as she is in-game 🐇Definitely a cocky person too 🐇Just like really teasing and annoying like Hiyoko but with a God complex 🐇”God, Mikan, we get it, you tripped. What else is new, bitch?” 🐇I feel like in-game she would help Nagito plan his bs just for funsies 🐇Pregame she’d probably do anything she could to keep Nagito around cuz he literally worships her and the others 🐇So he’s her widdle servant who she sometimes makes get her things from vending machines and talk to people she doesn’t want to 🐇Open about her talent cuz she sees it as incredible and better-than-the-others 🐇Unlike in-game where she lied about it and hid it for fun 🐇Actually though? She probably has actual friends in pregame 🐇And probably even somewhat befriended Hajime with Chiaki 🐇Just can’t stand people like Hajime who have NO confidence (even Nagito to an extent), she thinks it’s kinda annoying lmao 🐇^Says the bitch who’ll cry if you point out she said something wrong

Stories: 

“Lady (Y/n),” Nagito grinned, extending his hand and offering her a can of soda, “I got way too many on accident, would you like one? Even though my dirty hands have already soiled it.”

Already taking the can from her classmate, (Y/n) quirked a brow at him, “Did you clear out the machine, again?”

“Aha,” he awkwardly chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, “Lucky me, I suppose.”

“Quite,” the girl kicked her feet up and onto her desk, “Unfortunate for everyone else then.”

“It is,” Nagito nodded glumly, settling back into his seat beside her, “Such refreshing beverages shouldn’t have been wasted on me.”

“God, I swear, you and Hajime both need to have more confidence,” grumbling, (Y/n) rolled her eyes and set the can down on her desk, “I like when you dote on me and all - because I deserve it, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Nagito nodded.

“Obviously, but you need to believe in yourself more, you’re a human being and you deserve love,” she shrugged, “Even Reserve Course students and they’re- “

“Useless to hope?”

“Exactly,” (Y/n) giggled, patting Nagito’s shoulder, “You get it.”

“You touched me… scum like me was- “

“Shush.”

“Right, sorry.”

~~

“It’s just… a lot of work…” Hajime huffed, running a hand through his hair, “Not to bother you two with my problems, I’m sure being in the Main Course is more difficult.”

“Not really,” Chiaki mumbled, face practically buried in her handheld with (Y/n) resting her head on the gamer’s shoulder, “I kinda wish it was harder. The main classes are optional and the only required class segment is when we’re honing our talents. It’s kinda boring.”

“Speak for yourself,” (Y/n) closed her eyes, kicking a leg up and over the other to a cross and patting down her skirt, “As the Ultimate Copycat, I have countless abilities to hone in such a short time frame,” her lips crept up into a sick smirk, “But, of course, I manage it all. Naturally.”

Hajime sighed, “As much as I’d love to debate you on that, I’m sure it’s true. Even though all you really do is steal other people’s talents…”

“Excuse you?!” in an instant, (Y/n) shot up from the bench and into a stand in front of Hajime, brows furrowed and hand reaching at his uniform tie, tugging it harshly, “I can do whatever I want at the Ultimate level! I’m practically the best person here!”

“Then who’s the best?” Hajime scoffed, grabbing the girl’s hand and attempting to pry her fingers off his tie, to no avail.

She gripped it harder, tugging again, “Me but in senior year when I’ve only gotten better at my mastered talents, and don’t you forget it, Reserve Course dog.”

“C’mon, (Y/n),” Chiaki spoke between the couple’s fighting, “He’s your friend, don’t be mean.”

“She’s mean to everyone…” Hajime finally succeeded at pulling the girl’s fingers off of his tie, shoving at her hands, “Even her so-called friends.”

“Hey, I’m inspiring, aren’t I? You wanna be like me? Or at least as close as you possibly could to someone as wonderful as me, yeah?”

“No, you just make me sad that God allowed such a big ego in such a tiny heart.”

“Ego’s the brain, dipshit.”

Chiaki sighed quietly, shaking her head and refocusing on her game, knowing it’d be another few hours until they even came close to settling the argument.

~~

“Miss Sonia and Miss (Y/n) - together? I’m dreaming, aren’t I?” Kazuichi felt his body heat up at his own observation.

“He’s staring again, isn’t he?” Sonia placed her chin in the palm of her hand.

(Y/n) nodded, also settling her chin in the palm of her head, “Do you want me to say something to the bastard?”

“No, no,” the blond princess shook her head, “I’m afraid that saying something would only worsen his fixation.”

“How disappointing… say, you’re close with Tanaka, correct?” at the other girl’s nod, she continued, “Maybe you should introduce us sometime. He could teach me a thing or two of his ‘dark arts’; a spell to curse Kazuichi’s eyes into flames if he so much as looks at us.”

“My, (Y/n), that’s wonderfully dark, how did you come up with that?”

“Book Nagito wanted me to read, speaking of which, if you ever need suggestions you should go to him. He’s an excellent reader with incredible tastes.”

Sonia nodded, “I will certainly keep that in mind, then!”

“They’re so cute when they talk to each other, don’t you think?” Kazuichi held his chest over where his heart beat into his ribs.

“No, you’re fucking gross,” Fuyuhiko waved off, “Don’t talk to me.”

~~

“Hajime, you’re clueless.”

“Huh?!”

“You’re clueless if you think you need an Ultimate to be Chiaki’s friend, she adores you the way you are.”

“It’s not just Chiaki… it’s you too, (Y/n)...”

“What?”

“You’re always talking about how you’re so amazing and that Ultimate talents are necessary to be so great, it’s- I just- I want to be someone you and Chiaki can be proud to be around!”

“Hajime…”

Silence. And then, the floodgates broke open.

“Hajime, you don’t need an Ultimate to be someone I’m proud to be around. You’re intelligent, which is more than I can say for most people. You’re kind and caring when you want to be and it shows in who you are. You’re unabashedly yourself and that’s what makes you worthy of being my friend. Sure, Main Course students are objectively better than Reserve Course but you know why exceptions exist, right? It’s for you and others like you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re incredible.”

“But not to your level…?”

“No, but don’t feel bad, nobody’s at my level.”

[theaudemon]

Yes I'm here with more ideas for toh au cause this au has me in brainrot mode as I'm writing the fic and I just keep getting more and new ideas. Half of which I want to put in the fic but also don't want to add cause the main attraction is the kel and hero angst.

Anyway here's hero visiting/being babysit my the different covens and leaders throughout the years

So to make sure Hero likes the boiling isles emperor belos sends hero to be with a leader if a coven whenever kikimora or Lilith are busy. Armed with a training wand with artificial magic hero has the first of these visits when he's 6 right before he forgets completely of his home. (Since we don't know the names or personalities of all the leaders yet imma just assume their personalities)

He's first dumped with the construction leader first who takes it very seriously and does his best to properly teach Hero about the magic basics he hasn't been thought yet. Hero gets to help with some light work with the help of a construction glyph. It's meant to get him acquainted with the coven system but Hero ends up wanting to learn magic even more now than the slight interest he had earlier. It's likely the reason why Hero enjoys using construction magic since it can help a lot of people.

When he's still 6 but forgot about his family completely it's Lilith who takes him to the beast keeping coven because she has a small meeting with some coven members there. Hero ends up wandering off to meet Eberwolf who happily introduces him to some of the terrifying creatures of the boiling isles. Tiny Hero absolutely loves it. When he's older he can deal with nearly any tameable beast on the isles although he wishes he could be better at it. Eberwolf gets to babysit a seven year old Hero once, it ended up in chaos so he's not allowed to watch over Hero anymore.

Even if Hero is constantly surrounded by the emperor's coven it's members sometimes have to babysit hero when kikimora or Lilith are busy. Some of them take him on patrol with them so he can see more of the isles, he learns that the coven is the one that does the most and keeps everyone safe. It causes Hero to wonder if he could join it once he's older. Later on the Hero/silver guard is born.

Hero learns and stays at his favourite coven when he's 7 years old, the leader was too busy to look after him so Raine was the one to do so. Raine became the person Hero would go to most often for emotional troubles because they always made time for him unlike many of the other people that looked after him until he became the hero/silver guard. Raine showed him how to play the piano and even told him more about magic in general the others hadn't told him yet. Hero really wishes he could actually do bard magic like his parental figure but without a magic vile sack...there isn't much he can do since his artificial magic staff can't turn into an instrument. If only he was born with magic like all the other witches, he doesn't even have pointed ears. (Raine suspects Belos is up to something and suspects Hero is human but doesn't say anything yet. They don't want to endanger the kid) Hero just wants to be more like Raine who he sees as responsible and caring.

I haven't thought about the other covens yet I just know this is why Raine is a hypocrite in this au because they have a kid sorta too so don't sacrifice yourself

Anyway I do have some couple of other ideas regarding how Hero casts magic which....I'm gonna put in a different post since this one is already getting kinda long XD But basically Hero gets an animal buddy to ride on whenever he doesn't use the artificial magic staff.

I hope you liked this ^^ feel free to share any ideas or critique this. See ya and enjoy any angst

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 12

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Thanks a lot to @ilovemygaydad for updating y’all about my wifi situation, the wifi works semi-well now, and... well...

WRITING THIS CHAPTER WAS HELL AND A HALF AND IM SO GLAD ITS FINALLY FINISHED.

Ahem. Excuse me. I have a couple of very important things to say, though.

If any of you haven't read the latest chapter of Keep Him Safe, which is right here, please go do so. I read it the moment it was posted and... I was at dinner with my family, so I had to hold in my squealing... to be perfectly honest with y'all, I already knew what was going to happen in that chapter since I started writing chapter three, I think...? So I have known about this for a very long time, but it still made me super happy to see it actually happen in writing. So... go read KHS, y'all. You really should. It's awesome.

(Quick update: I checked my screenshots and... yeah, I've known about that since July, which is when I started writing this fic. Again, I've known about what happened in sleep for six months, and surprisingly didn't spoil almost any of it to anyone around me. I deserve a fucking prize.)

To anyone who just came over from Eva's shameless plugging of me - hello, nice to have you here. In this fucked up piece of angst we discuss queer history as well as Remy's personal history, or - as I said to myself while reading and re-reading what Eva has to say about this fic - "well, this story is as much about queer history as it is about Remy, where he came from, where he's going, where he came from cotton eye joey'n". And to anyone who's a regular reader, I'm so glad you're sticking around to read this... this thing. It's become a monster in my head, I can promise you that much.

As always, thanks to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the original idea, to @whatwashernameagain for the original fic (can you believe it’s been six months since we came up with chapter 23?), to @anony-phangirl and @asleepybisexual and @winglessnymph for the help wherever needed, and a special one to Morgan - again - for helping me get the word out. All of those people are my shining stars and I love them so much.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @why-things-go-boom, @ilovemygaydad (thanks again, kiddo!), @violetblossem. @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch

(Wanna be tagged? Just lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter discusses rape again, this time in a bit more detail (nothing graphic, it’ll never be graphic, I promise), and includes a... panic attack of sorts. Be warned.

—————

January 24th, 2003

Emile's smile faltered.

"...so what if I got raped?" He muttered, putting down the stack of chairs he was holding. "What's done is done. They had their fun—"

"They…?" India tilted her head. Oh shoot… "There was more than one person?"

"More like three… what? Why are you looking at me like—"

The stack India was holding fell to the floor.

"Did you tell anyone?" Emile stared at the floor. Maybe she'll go away if he doesn't cooperate. "Emile! Did you tell anyone?"

"I told the doctors…" Emile's voice faltered. "What's going on?"

"I'm surprised you're even alive right now!" India's pacing was… terrifying. For some reason… she suddenly just… turned so scary. "Mixing date rape drugs with alcohol, which is what I'm assuming happened to you, is so dangerous! And I'm only assuming that's what happened because I heard from Remy that they found GHB traces—"

"I'm not proud," Emile managed to stutter. "Of… all this. I just… I can drink, okay? I made some mistakes in the past—"

"You're seventeen!"

"I made some mistakes in the past, and… this one makes me feel like all those mistakes have been trying to tell me that I shouldn't exist…"

"No… no, peach, please." He already started crying by the time she stepped in to hug him. "I get that. I really do. Sometimes I think about how much better my life might've been if I pretended like I'm 'cured' of being transgender after conversion. My cousin wouldn't have done what she did, that's the biggest plus. But… I wouldn't have come here. I wouldn't have started on my way to become a statistics analyst. I wouldn't have met Jenna. I would probably be living a sad, closeted life back home, and that isn't such a nice thing."

"You were too…?"

"I was too, yeah… as victims, we gotta stick to each other."

The wet spots on India's sweater were getting larger by the second. But she didn't mind it.

"Like I was told when I was sixteen," she said, much quieter than before. "Nobody is going to believe a man who says he was raped. We gotta stick together, whether we like it or not."

——

"Hey, isn't that that friend of yours?" Remy heard behind him about two minutes before the meeting started.

Oh, good.

"Hey, didn't you deliberately choose to forget that I live in the other side of the US from you because you wanted to be a little fuck?" Remy asked back, looking at Chris turn redder than a tomato.

"I swear to god, I had no idea!"

"Suck it and your excuses, Mendez."

"Hey, hey… come on, Remy. Won't you at least let me make it up to you?"

Remy couldn't stay angry… well, he could. But not as angry. It was a stupid reason, too…

"I will." Chris beamed at him. "But it'll take a very long time."

"...you have a week."

"I won't let you down," Chris said with the same wide, obnoxious grin, quickly kissing Remy's cheek and taking a seat.

Fuck him and his obnoxious self.

On the third of January, Remy and Emile sat down on the hotel bed in what was probably the fanciest hotel Remy's ever been to (though he never really visited any hotels in his life, no time or money for that). They were listening to Gustav Holst's The Planets as Emile performed a one-man dramatic reading of No Exit, and Remy couldn't feel more at peace.

This situation right here - all the people, all the tension, Chris right there a few steps away from him - was the exact opposite.

"Do you want me to leave?" A quiet voice said and Remy felt himself being squeezed so tight, he was sure his ribs would crack. Emile. "I can leave if you—"

"Come on, sit next to me," Remy said as quietly and took a rather far seat from Chris. Serves him right.

"Happy Friday, everyone," India opened the meeting. "I see that we got some new people after the break, so we're going to do another name round. Who wants to start?"

Emile raised his hand almost immediately.

"I'm Emile, I'm— do we mention our major?"

"If you want to."

"I'm Emile, I'm a psychology major, and I'm probably gay. Or asexual. I just… don't really know if I'm more gay or asexual yet."

——

Monday, January 27th

"Look, I find some of what you teach suspect," Emile hummed to himself as he skipped behind Remy back to their building after a particularly entertaining sols 20 class. "Because I'm used to relying on intellect, but I try to open up to what I don't know, because reason says I should've died three years ago…"

"Em, stop it," Remy half-laughed. "I get it, you're still thinking about Rent."

"It was such a good show!" Emile whined - well, sort of. "Jai Rodriguez was really good!"

"I met Idina Menzel through this," Remy said with another chuckle. "She's nice… kind of a diva, if you ask me."

"So… like you?"

"What do you mean, like me?"

"Nice, but kind of a diva." Emile nudged him. "I'll bet you she's totally selfless and sweet but acts like she doesn't care about anything in the world—"

"No, actually… she isn't." Remy sighed. The memories were foggy - it was over eight years ago - but… "Dad is working on some project with her again. Her and Kristin Chenoweth…"

"Kristin?" Emile shrieked. "Good golly, I love her! She's so sweet and talented!"

"I'm really not supposed to tell you anything," Remy laughed, and then stopped.

A figure made him freeze at his doorstep. A small, shaking figure, with braided brown hair and an ill-fitting, black, puffy coat.

Leah was rapidly knocking on Remy's suite door.

——

"Why did you think it was a good idea to come here?" Remy asked, careful not to scream. Leah sat in the living room, her hair dripping wet from the shower he made her take, wrapped up in the clothes she brought with her in her lime green schoolbag. She was waiting on her hot chocolate.

"I wanted to."

"How did you even get a bus ticket? You're seven!"

"I took money from mom and went to the bus station!" Leah huffed. "I know where the buses are, and I know how to—"

"I didn't say you don't know, Leah Mae," Remy chastised, putting the cup of hot chocolate on the table quite forcefully. "But you're seven years old! This was incredibly dangerous of you—"

"I don't wanna live at home anymore!" Leah screamed. "Mom was mean all of Christmas, and Lizzie wasn't being nice when we went back to school, she didn't want me to be her friend anymore, and Rachel was annoying—"

"Sweetie, they're going to think I kidnapped you!" Leah was taken aback. Remy was worried to the point of terrifying. "They're going to think I kidnapped you, Leah. It won't end well!"

"I didn't think…" the tears started coming out. Oh shit… "I didn't mean it! I just… I don't like being home! Don't be mad at me!"

"Oh, baby, no, I'm not mad at you!" Remy was quick to take her in for a hug. His poor baby sister… "I'm just worried, Leah. Extremely worried. Never do such a thing ever again, okay?" She nodded in his arms. "There's nothing we can do about this now, but—"

The door opened with a bang, and "I brought the bunnies!"

Leah immediately perked up. Mycroft tried to hop straight into her lap the moment he was close enough, since he already knew her and was very worried for the tiny human, but Lestrade took his time getting to know her. She was new, and he didn't know her yet, and what if she wasn't going to be nice?

"Leah, this is Lestrade," Emile said with a huge smile, closing the door and coming to cuddle them all - Remy included. "He's Mycroft's brother, and I adopted him after Christmas!"

"But you don't celebrate Christmas."

"No I don't, but you do." He booped her nose, making her giggle. "Lestrade is a nice boy. Give him a bit, he'll jump into your lap in no time."

As Leah entertained herself, playing with the bunnies and telling them stories, Remy pulled Emile to the side.

"She ran away from home!"

"I heard that when you asked me to go get the bunnies, Remy."

"She's seven years old! What do I do with a seven-year old runaway? Is it even a thing? A seven-year old runaway?"

Emile kisses Remy's cheek quicker than he could process it happening. "It's going to be fine. Call Linda, let her know that Leah is here—"

"Leah asked me not to tell anyone she's here," Remy sighed, rubbing his face in frustration.

"I understand, but… Linda is still your mom. Leah is still seven years old. She needs to go home, whether you like it or not." When Remy still seemed like he's having trouble processing it, Emile pulled him into a hug. "Do you want me to talk to her about it for you?"

Remy could only say a very weak "yes please" before Emile went back to the couch, to talk to Leah.

He was jittering. He was angry, and scared, and disappointed, and proud, and he felt everything so intensely and was so shocked and confused that he couldn't name it. He barely turned eighteen last July, he didn't even know how to drive yet, and he was absolutely, most definitely, going to be in trouble for this seven-year old child showing up at his door after running away from home.

He wasn't going to call Linda. But he couldn't keep Leah over. And he didn't know shit about raising children, for the period of time he was going to have Leah over, until he figures out what to do. Remy wanted to scream, how much he wanted to. But he couldn't.

So he did the next best thing he could do. He dropped to the floor and started crying.

He was too tired, physically and emotionally, to pick himself back up at that particular moment.

[povertytaurus]

Astrology Lessons🌌

Alrighty guys. So I've noticed there are not too many astrology resources on this website, but the pagan and witchcraft community is huge, and hungry for information. This is by far the happiest and most thriving community I've had the pleasure to be a part of. However I noticed the astrology community is a tiny bit lacking. Nothing against the people on here trying to put the information out there, you guys are amazing for that and I love you to bits. But I want to help!

So I've decided to make a series of posts to teach about astrology. I've been studying it forever, and have found it to be a major passion of mine. As I was trying to learn it alone I ran into a lot of dead ends which made me stop my practicing. Like wtf aspects. But I was lucky, and quickly fell into an astrology community where I found myself a mentor. Working along with someone is a huge benefit to your learning. Those places you'd get stopped up on normally, have some structure and guidance (get you some saturn and jupiter in there). What I'm saying now is, I would like to help you personally. Anyone out there who would like to learn astrology, I got you. If you have any questions about any of it, I will explain in detail, just ask. You can even just private message me. Literally just reach out about any of it.

So what I'll be doing here:

Every few days or so, I'll post up a new lesson in astrology. I'll number them and everything. I'm going to give you some information, put up some links and resources, and I'm going to give you some homework. Don't worry, it sounds super cereal guys, but I'm sure it'll be fun. I want you to learn that material, and do the practice. You don't have to turn the assignment into me, but you can if you want to, I'll give you feedback! If you want you can reblog the lesson with your findings attached. I'll reblog it on here, and give you feedback. And of course, if you have questions about any of the lessons just hit me up. I already said it, I got you!

So wtf is a natal chart anyway?

A natal chart is a map of the sky in the instant you were born. It is symbolic of all of the energies within you. It can tell you all sorts of things about yourself, from the obvious to the obscure. A natal chart goes into the fine details of your personality, from conflicts to talents, things you will have to learn yourself, and through others. Even the direction you will end up going through your life.

A natal chart is made up of various layers, ogres are like onions. Yas bitch I just pulled that shrek quote out of my back pocket. And people, like ogres, like onions, also have layers. So a natal chart is an interpretation of the little moving parts of our personalities. First there is the wheel of the zodiac, the constellations in the sky, Then the house system, which depends on the time of birth, which tells us what areas of life we're looking at. Then there are the planets which show us a pull of influence, and the planets are in conversation! The planets interact with each other in aspects.

In short, what you know about astrology is quite possibly just the tip of the iceberg. Many go off of only their sun sign, but this is not right. I want to teach you how to truly read charts, in all their fine detail. Worry not if you're not yet convinced of astrology's validity. I was not, until I learned it complete! What is there to lose? It's quite an experiment! It can only teach you about the human condition, and I'd argue that knowing yourself is a great advantage! Here you will start a dialogue with yourself, about yourself.

This is an example of a natal chart, yours will look similar, but still quite different.

And what will you need to start?

A handy dandy notebook of course, to take notes and to write out your assignment (Evernote notebook or Google Docs folder is fine, just have a place to keep your work.

A quill pen, or, you know, a pencil if that's how you roll.

Your own natal chart! This is the best thing to practice on, as well as the natal charts of others you know. You will be able to see these traits as you learn them, and believe me, that helps!

And that's it my friend. That's all you need. Easy right?

How do you get your natal chart?

Make sure you go to astro dienst instead of astrology cafe, astrology cafe is not reliable with their birth charts. Sometimes their tables are off, and you most definitely want an accurate chart. This is a precise art. If the chart is wrong I can tell, but it won't be so easy if you're only just learning.

You will need the following information:

Your full birthday: month, day, and year

Your birth city

Your birth time. This is important, you can generate a chart without it, but you will not know your rising sign, and the chart will have no orientation, no house system.

Game Plan:

You're on it! Basically just read through this, get yourself set up with all the materials. Doing good so far!

Lesson One: The Zodiac

Lesson Two: Ascendants and Descendants

Lesson Four: Midheaven and Imum Coeli

Lesson Five: House Systems

Lesson Three: Chart Rulers

Lesson Six: Sun Signs! (You probably thought we'd never get here)

Lesson Seven: Moon Placements

Lesson Eight: Mercury Placements

Lesson Nine: Venus Placements

Lesson Ten: Mars Placements

Lesson Eleven: Jupiter Placements

Lesson Twelve: Saturn Placements

Lesson Thirteen: Uranus Placements

Lesson Fourteen: Neptune Placements

Lesson Fifteen: Pluto Placements

Review: Summing it all up!

Midterm! Surprise! Look how much you can do now.

Lesson Sixteen: Major Aspects

Lesson Seventeen: Minor Aspects

Lesson Eighteen: Sun in Aspect

Lesson Nineteen: Moon in Aspect

Lesson Twenty: Mercury in Aspect

Lesson Twenty One: Venus in Aspect

Lesson Twenty Two: Mars in Aspect

Lesson Twenty Three: Jupiter in Aspect

Lesson Twenty Four: Saturn in Aspect

Lesson Twenty Five: Uranus in Aspect

Lesson Twenty Six: Neptune in Aspect

Lesson Twenty Seven: Pluto in Aspect

Lesson Twenty Eight: Whole Chart Interpretations

Review: Summing it all up!

FINALS WEEK!

Good job, when you've got all of this down, you'll be fully able to read a natal chart! Go wild! Psychoanalyze all your friends!

I will make this a master list, and link each post to the lesson listed above.

Wooooooh Party! ~

What Next?

After I am finished writing for this course, the party doesn't end there. I have plans to continue writing courses for all facets of astrology. So courses to come will be:

Synastry Charts

Composite Charts

Draconic Charts

If you have ideas for more, hit me up and I'll add it to the list. How's that sound?

My Saturnian Boundaries:

Please don't ask me to read your chart for you. I will answer any of your questions, but I charge for chart readings. You can inquire about that though.

Don't be rude. If you're rude I will simply ignore you. Ruthless I know.

Enjoy yourself! And ask if you need help!

There is no fourth rule

See? That wasn't so bad!

Now let's get started! Don't forget to follow and opt for notifications so you can be kept up to date with all your lessons!

~Poverty Taurus

[discoursecatharsis]

Ages are weird when it comes to older people. Some friends from a game I play were having a chat about having kids or adopting cats and I chose adopting cats then one of my friends said I was a m1n0r (I'm 21) and thus as kid myself

So your friend said you were a minor because you chose adopting cats over having kids? That’s weird…. I’d choose adopting cats too hahaha

I always have an existential crisis every time I remember that I have friends my age (or younger) who are parents. Like…wtf? I forget to eat sometimes, and these people are raising tiny humans. 

I like kids, I mean obviously because I’ve worked with them. But being paid to watch/teach/entertain them for a few hours a day isn’t the same as going home and taking care of your crying genetic offspring, I just… it gives me an existential crisis, idk how else to explain the feeling lmao. That doesn’t make me a minor/kid though, that just means I don’t really feel called to be a parent.

Besides cats are much easier to take care of lol

Edit: oh wait I think I misunderstood. Your friend said you were a minor/kid yourself, like in comparison to them because they’re older? I think that’s what you meant?

I kinda get that because I have a habit of calling people younger than me “kid” even if they’re also in their 20s lol. But I still know they’re an adult. I just use “kid” as synonymous with “younger than me” haha