#something something trust something something a heart's a heavy burden something something love and consumption

[oneiroy]

ft. @verysmallcyborg's Fornax

[lemonandpeachess]

Small Moments

Pairing: Wrecker x Female Reader

Rating: G

Word Count:2,220

Summary: You and the squad have a little bit of downtime before completing a job from Cid. This time allow you to think ahead for the future of the squad, and of Omega. 

AN: I hope you all enjoy! This is my first bit of writing in a long time so we’re keeping it pretty simple. xx

Gif credits to the owner <3 

The noise was no stranger to you, the deep and seemingly endless drumming above your head. An icy coolness slips into your skin underneath your clothes, your eyes slipping shut at the sensation. While for the most part you enjoy your time on the ship with your crew and it feels just as much of a home as you could ask for, it did have its drawbacks. The closest thing to a simple rainfall you got to experience while cruising through space were meteor showers, and landing in the middle of one of those was not the most relaxing experience. You feel a small, hand wrap itself into your own, giving it a small squeeze. Your eyes cast down and you smile at the sweet brown eyes peering up at you from beneath wet, blonde curls. Omega has her hood over her head, holding down the side with her opposite hand against the wind.

“I sort of missed the rain (y/n).” She says, looking up at the sky and smiling, the raindrops sprinkling down on the two of you. You lift your head back up, sticking out your tongue. Omega looks at you, her brow furrowed. “What are you doing?”

“Catching raindrops. You can do it with snowflakes too. We used to do it on my home planet when I was small.” The tiny clone follows your actions, laughing as she lets go of your hand and makes a show of running around you, catching the water droplets from above.

You were thankful that for both the sake of you and the squad, and for Omega herself, that she had taken the business of being a part of the team so seriously. The young one dove into everything that was ever handed to her, from Hunter’s hand to hand combat routines, to Tech and Echo’s near constant technological learning. She was a fighter, and a determined one at that.

Your heart was heavy at times however, thinking about how she was still a child. She should be able to enjoy the things children enjoy. The sweet, small things that with adulthood and the burdens of growing up, we all tended to forget and appreciate. You took it upon yourself to make your training for Omega to be how enjoy things she could not before, to make her feel like she wasn’t restricted, or stripped of her curiosity. You encouraged it.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, my data shows that the atmosphere on this planet coupled with the local vegetation means excessive consumption of precipitation could lead to harmful side effects.” Tech says as he walks past, guiding his scanner around you as he too gets off the ship. You purse your lips and look down at your small companion once more, chuckling.

“Bit of rain won’t hurt you.” Hunter says as he comes up behind the two of you, handing Omega her small backpack you had found for her at a market during your last job for Cid. You wanted her to have something of her own and found some amenities to put in it as well. Some new fresh clothes, and a small toolkit among other things, including her beloved clone trooper doll. “We should get inside though. Cid said we can stay at her camp here before we continue to the other side of the planet for the exchange tomorrow. We can’t proceed until late morning at least. Best to get some rest while we can.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice Sarge.” Wrecker yells from the belly of the ship. You hear his footsteps as he barrels down the gangway and feel him join you both. He grabs your own pack from your shoulder and puts it over his own, its size shrinking against his broad form. “You and the kid take your time, beautiful. I can take our stuff inside.”

“Wreck I can take that, it’s just a few things.” You laugh, grabbing for your pack. He dodges your efforts and keeps walking forward, turning to wink at you as he follows his brothers. You huff out another laugh and lead Omega towards the cleared path in the forest. “Well, I guess I’ll just escort you then my lady. I’ll get you settled in in Hunter’s room before I join them so we can go over the mission details for tomorrow.”

“Can’t I be there? I want to know what’s going on tomorrow too!” Omega asks, her shoulders slumping down a moment under her cloak. You squeeze her hand and nod.

“Alright Omega, you can come with me. We’ll drop your pack off and then find our way. Just be weary. I’m not sure what kind of mission this will be or what Hunter’s plans for you are. This may be one you need to sit out, for all I know the both of us might be sticking behind. You’re a part of the squad so I see no issue of you being there. Just be ready to play the part Hunter and the others have planned.” You tell her. Thankfully, Hunter had begun to allow her a little more freedom with her involvement in missions. There were still runs Cid sent you on however that weren’t worth the risk.

“I promise I will!” She says, saluting you. You look ahead as a clearing broke out of the path and you see a glassed-in observatory style station come into view. It looked like a two-story home, perfectly rectangular in shape. The walls were made completely of glass, save for the metal framing around the edges and planforms, holding the building above the ground. You imagined the views of the forest were breathtaking from inside. You had to give it to her, Cid had taste. 

“(y/n)? Can I ask just one question before we go in?”

“Go on Omega, I’m listening.” You answer, still looking towards your quarters for the night.

“What are snowflakes?” ***** You sigh as you enter the code to your keypad Wrecker directly behind you as you all retired to your rooms after the mission briefing. Omega left in happy spirits with Hunter as he had a part for her to play in this mission, the situation being a simple drop-off of supplies with payment, nothing too messy. Since Omega had paid off all your debt with Cid, you were able to stick to more low-profile jobs while you figured out a new plan regarding Omega’s safety and the unsettling end of the war.

“The kid seemed happy that she has a job to do with us. I like when she’s able to come out in the field with us.” Wrecker says, starting to take off his uniform. You cross your arms over your chest, still a little chilled from the rain as you look out. You were right before, as the whole building, including your room, was surrounded by windows. Thick, one-way, bulletproof windows, as Tech made sure to point out, given who owned it. It really was a beautiful sight.

The view made it easy to look out into the forest, the leaves on the branches, bright from the rain and crisp air. The foliage swayed back and forth with the wind, creating the most soothing hushing sound, mother natures lullaby. Accompanied of course by what had to be some type of owls, their deep calls coming from their nests in the surrounding trees. Open space had a soothing effect to most. It’s infinite darkness with specks of light, but to you, it was far too quiet. No outside noises penetrated the thick hull of the Havoc Marauder, only the synthetic beeps and whirs of the engines going off in the night could soothe you in the deafening moments.

“I know that ain’t true, you smacked me in the face with your pillow the other night cause you said I was snorin’ too loudly.” Wrecker points out, lifting his chest piece over his head, his upper body now free of the extra weight. You hadn’t realized that you were thinking out loud, though you often did it around Wrecker. He was your partner, for a couple years now. Hunter, Crosshair, Tech, and Echo you trusted with your life. With Wrecker, you trusted him with your life and your heart. You take his chest piece from his hand and set it in the trunk he had carried in along with your bag. “

That is different!” You laugh, coming back to take the final pieces of his suit, leaving him just in his black thermal set. You lay the final piece into the trunk and sit on a chair that faces the windows. “This place reminds me of things I love. The birds, the trees, the smell of the rain. You can’t find that in space big guy. I’m glad we’re able to take Omega with us to these different planets and worlds. It’s important she knows about the world and everything in it. Good and bad. I just try my bests to let her see the good to remember during those bad times. She’s going to have to fight for a lot in her life, an unfair amount…”

“Hey, listen-“You feel Wrecker stand behind you, putting one hand on your shoulder and gesturing for your other one. You put your hand in his and bring the warm top side of his to your lips, kissing it gently. His hands dwarfed your own, as he did most parts of you. You were always safe when you were with him, and you knew if he wasn’t near, it wouldn’t take much to have him barreling towards you at any moment when you needed him. “We’re gonna look after Omega. We made it this far, I’ll stand in front of anyone that tries to hurt her… Or take her away.”

“I know you would Wreck, we all would. She just adores and admires you all.” You say, his fingers grazing your cheek as you speak. You were honest too. If your run in with the bounty hunters wasn’t enough, you knew in your heart that child was probably the most protected thing in the galaxy.

“She likes you a lot too ya know. She tells me all the time.”

“Does she?” You smile to yourself. The word ‘love’ was seldom used around the ship, usually only regarding Mantell mix by a select few. The feeling was always present of course, the brothers all loved each other, and as the time went on, it extended to both yourself and Omega as well. Wrecker had told you after he told you he loved you for the first time in your relationship, that it was the first time he had said it to someone in such a way.

“She does. She thinks your beautiful, and smart and kind. I like her, she’s a smart kid.” Wrecker lets go of your hand and comes around to the front of your chair. You barely have a moment to look up before he picks you up into his arms like you were nothing, carrying you to the plush bed that was made up in the middle of the room. He sets you down gently and crawls into bed with you. 

“Cause I think you’re beautiful, kind, and smart too.”

You laugh and prop yourself up a little more as Wrecker settles beside you, who is also sitting up to look at you. You extend your hand and cradle his face in your hand, your thumb brushing along his cheekbone. Before you can reply you feel a yawn manifest in your throat before it escapes, your hand covering your mouth as you try and keep your gaze on your favourite trooper.

“Am I that boring?” He chuckles. You swing your legs back over the edge of the bed, starting to unhook your boots. Wrecker gets up from the bed again and walks to your pack, grabbing your sleep pants from it.

“No Wreck of course not. I’m sorry, I just feel really tired suddenly.” You reply, pulling off your boots and setting them beside the bed, keeping them close just in case. You feel his hands slip under your shirt and you let him lift the fabric from your body, leaving you in just a worn sports bra. As you wiggle out of your tactical pants, he hands you the black sweatpants and you slip them on, relishing in the feel of the soft fabric. You never seem to realize how tired your body is until you properly stop for a moment.

“It’s okay baby, it’s been a while since we had a break. Even when we do, you’re always doing something for us, or for Omega.” He says, joining you in bed again. You lay back on his chest, relaxing into him as you look out the array of windows and out into the wilderness around you. You wished you had time to explore more, and to enjoy your time there, but you could already feel sleep tugging you down, not being helped by Wrecker’s fingers grazing up and down you arm.

“I know- but I still wish we had some extra time. We haven’t had a lot of time together either, just the two of us. I’m sorry I’m wasting it.” You sigh, fingers dancing over his chest.

“Don’t worry (y/n).”  Wrecker takes his arm around you and rolls you onto his chest, almost laying you almost on top of him, kissing that spot on your neck that makes your heart thrum. “There’s always the morning. You know how much I like breakfast.”

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Ancient Soul

Time Travel, Quirkless, Feudal Japan AU

“Your soul does not belong here.” Those were words you never thought that you would hear. Now, thrown into the past in feudal Japan, you must find a way to survive, all while struggling to avoid the growing feelings for one hot-headed war general. War, romance, death and love drive you forward, to find the place where your soul truly belongs.

Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

Want to start from be beginning? Check the Ancient Soul tag. New chapters released every Wednesday as long as schedule permits.

Genre: Romance / Angst Story Rating: Explicit | Adult Themes, Sex, Death, Depictions of Violence, Alcohol

Chapter 11: Rusty

Chapter Rating: Teen | Cursing, Alcohol Consumption Words:  2533

“No, just drink the damn thing in one go, you can’t sip on it!” 

Holding your breath, you stared down into the clear liquid in the small wooden cup you held between your fingers. You didn’t hold your breath because you were scared. In fact, the sake was so pungent that you found you needed to keep from breathing it in if you wanted even the slightest chance of swallowing it all in one go. In truth, you were never much fond of alcohol and you very rarely found yourself getting drunk. But now, with Bakugou’s warm company and persuasion, you had agreed to give it a try. Little did you know that it would smell so strongly or that it would already have Bakugou tipsy after just three shots of it. 

After a couple more seconds of prepping yourself, you clenched your eyes shut and downed the liquid, forcing yourself to swallow before your entire body tensed up in disgust of the taste. The burn on the way down was the worst, feeling it through every inch of your esophagus before it hit your stomach. The warmth of the alcohol instantly made your body feel like it was on fire, and as you slammed the small cup back onto the table in front of you, Bakugou’s chuckles finally reached your burning ears. 

“That’s it, Demon! How does that feel?” 

“It tastes and feels awful!” Already feeling your head growing a bit dizzy, you glowered at the blonde man across from you, pout on your lips. He had gone on and on about how amazing and delicious this particular sake was, but now you were unsure if he had just been lying the entire time or if it really was that good to him. 

“Tastes awful?! Are you kidding? This is the best damn sake in town, you can’t get any better!” Bakugou poured another round in his own cup, taking the drink down like a champ. “You must be seriously spoiled wherever you’re from.” 

With a huff, you adjusted your sitting position a bit, starting to feel your legs going numb from sitting on them so formally. “I’m not spoiled, I just don’t drink. You should slow down, you’re already kinda tipsy.” 

“Tipsy? What do you mean, what is that? Whatever it is, I’m fine.” After another shot, Bakugou turned his full attention to his noodle soup before him, shoving a range of noodles and a slice of pork into his mouth. Having already gotten used to his bad eating manners, you ignored the way he slurped the noodles, taking a sip of your hot green tea to try and rid your mouth of the alcohol taste. 

“It means drunk, that the alcohol is starting to affect you. But I suppose you may have a high tolerance if you drink regularly.” Setting your teacup down, you timidly began to stir your soup and noodles with your chopsticks, starting to feel an odd heavy weight on your shoulders. You knew that this meal wasn’t cheap, nor was the many containers of clothes and accessories that sat beside you. In the end, he had basically spoiled you rotten that day, and you just couldn’t figure out why. Maybe now, with the influence of the sake, he would let his true intentions slip. “Bakugou--” 

“Katsuki!” Bakugou corrected you with a scowl and a point of his finger, mouth half full of food. “I told you, call me Katsuki when we aren’t around people!” 

“R-Right, sorry.” Feeling your cheeks flush from the mistake, you kept your head bowed to avoid looking at him. “I just had a question I hoped you would answer…” 

“What?” 

Placing both of your hands in your lap, you fiddled nervously with your nails, taking as inconspicuous of a deep breath as possible. “Why did you want to do all this for me? Taking me into town is one thing, but… All these clothes and food… I’m just wondering why.” 

After slurping more noodles into his mouth, Bakugou used the back of his hand to wipe his lips, placing his chopsticks down next to his bowl. “Because I felt like it. Does that bother you?” 

“N-no… Well, a little. Not in a bad way!” You defended yourself quickly as his eyes narrowed, holding your hands out to try and keep him complacent. “It doesn’t bother me! It just… I guess I just really want to know why.” 

“I told you, I felt like it.” 

“That isn’t a good reason… And it isn’t the truth.” 

You could see Bakugou bite his tongue, obviously shocked at how straight forward you were about this whole situation. That, and you could see right through that ridiculous lie. No one just spent all that money on someone just because they felt like it. But, it wasn’t just the money that had tipped you off on there possibly being something deeper. You could admit, that in the past few years of your life, you had never had such fun in a single day. Bakugou was so easy for you to talk to, to joke with and just… have fun. 

You didn’t expect that kind of comfort out of a man like him, but it was there, and it was undeniable. He had shown you every inch of this town, talking your ear off about this and that, about how his Lord had built all this from the ground up and how proud he was to be a part of it. You kicked muddy water at each other one minute in a moment of agitation, while he placed a hairpin in your hair so gently the next. It was a whirlwind of excitement and emotion, but you didn’t want to get the wrong impression and have your heart lifted just to have it crushed in the end. 

With a heavy sigh, Bakugou leaned back on his arms, his crimson glare locked on the wall over your shoulder. “It’s… because I trust you. And I want you to stay.” 

“Y-you do?” A heat rushed to your cheeks, hot enough to even make your ears burn. “Really?” 

“Of course I do, you idiot.” Bakugou glowered at you, the tips of his ears flushing red, just as yours were. “Do you think I’d tolerate you at all if I didn’t? That I would share my strategies with you and trust you with so many secrets? Or drink sake with you? That makes me vulnerable!” Bakugou sat up straight, tapping his finger against the neck of the sake bottle. “So, yeah, I trust you, you stupid Demon. Even though half the time you make me feel like a fool.” 

The bubbling excitement you had felt at his confession turned sour in your stomach, a small frown crossing your lips. “What do you mean? How do I do that?” 

Grumbling, Bakugou poured himself another shot before drinking it, as if to prep himself for what he was about to have to admit. “It’s bad enough that I have to follow Deku’s commands. That idiot came from nothing and rose to the highest station, faster than I ever could, even when I came from a warrior family! And then there’s you, fixing and changing my strategies to fit whatever damn visions you’re having. It’s like I’ve become nothing but a useless title to yell at people.” 

“Aw Katsuki, that’s not true at all. I don’t want you to feel that way about me. I don’t know anything about war and the planning that goes on behind it, all I can do is tell you what I see. Because I… I want to protect you. You and everyone else. If I can help you win, to help you survive, then I’ll do whatever I can.” You couldn’t control the words that came rolling off your tongue, wanting to do anything and everything you could in that moment to comfort him. “You believe me, right?” 

After a long moment of silence with nothing but a glare scanning your face, Bakugou picked up his chopsticks, tapping the end of them against the wooden table. “There are times that I don’t know what to think of you. The way you talk, the things you say and how… comfortable I am around you. Sometimes it seems unnatural… and it bothers me. But, in the end, I believe you. And I trust you.”

With a nod, you allowed a soft smile to cross your lips, happy to hear those words. “Thank you, Katsuki… Your trust means a lot to me.” 

Only giving a grunt in response, Bakugou went back to eating, though he did pause as you reached over and picked up the sake bottle. “Another one?” 

Holding up your cup, the smile on your face grew as happiness and excitement swelled inside of you. “To our trust!” 

After a moment of confusion, Bakugou poured himself another drink, bringing up his cup and allowing to bump lightly into yours. 

“To our trust. Now… You had better tell me what ‘fuck’ means. I’m not going to let you forget.”

After suffering through your shot of alcohol, you shook your head, giving him a sly smile. “Nope! You’re drunk now! I was only going to tell you when you’re sober. Otherwise you’ll forget.” 

“Fuck... Fine!” 

…

“Don’t drop it, Demon! You’ll wake the whole damn palace up!”

“Shh--! Katsuki, you’re loud!” 

As you fumbled with the door to your quarters, you tried to drunkenly hold two boxes of your newly purchased clothing, trying to slide the door open with elbow. Eventually, with a good push, you got the door to open just enough to slip your leg inside, then your hip, until you were opening the door with your back. Scoffing, Bakugou slid past you to get inside before you could even make the entrance wide enough, though you were too intoxicated to really care. 

“I’m loud?! You should hear yourself.” Having been carrying more boxes than you, Bakugou placed them down in a random corner of the room, before coming back to take yours. Glad to not have the heavy burden in your arms anymore, you gave a relieved sigh, sliding the door back into place with just a small crack to allow light in from the moon. 

“I am not loud. I’m as dainty as a… butterfly.” Hands on your hips, you smiled up at him, not at all perturbed by the scowl on his face. That look that had frightened you so much when you first met him was something so familiar now, with not even a hint of threat. It was so cute to you, in fact, that it was hard to resist the urge to just reach up and pinch his cheeks. You had a feeling he wouldn’t like that, however, so you kept your hands to yourself. “A pretty little fluttering bug.” 

“A bug is right.” Bakugou huffed as he fixed his robes that had gotten displaced while carrying the luggage. “An annoying one that I should squish.” Approaching you, he stopped to stand in front of you, which was something you hadn’t fully expected. In fact, you had thought that maybe he’d just up and leave after helping you. Instead, here he was, glowering down at you with that fierce crimson glare that you had come to adore. He was standing perfectly in the line of light coming from the door, which reflected off his eyes and framed his flawless face with attractive, soft shadows. How badly you wanted to touch him, to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him was nearly suffocating. Yet, you kept control of your drunken mind the best you could, shifting from one foot to another nervously. 

“You wouldn’t do that. You like me too much.” 

“I tolerate you too much.” Bakugou spoke with a corrective tone that you couldn’t help but relate to the way a father corrected a child, which made you giggle in amusement. 

“Okay, okay. But I think that for you, ‘tolerate’ is equivalent to ‘like’. So, you like me too much to want to squish me.” 

“Shut up,” Although his command was short and harsh, you saw a change in his expression, which grew almost… gentle. You had seen this soft expression before, so focused and intent. On what, you weren’t sure, but you had no time to try and figure out what as he spoke again. “Demon… [F/N]... I, uhm…” 

Your heart nearly leaping out of your chest at the sound of your name on his lips, you couldn’t contain your excitement, which exploded freely within your intoxicated mind. Tenderly, you reached forward and took his hand, stepping in closer as you waited for him to continue. At first, his brow furrowed as his fingers wrapped tightly around yours, his lips parted with words dancing on his tongue. 

Then, it was gone. All the softness, the closeness you had experienced in those few moments vanished as Bakugou ripped his hand from yours, clicking his tongue in annoyance. “Don’t touch me like that, woman. Who the hell do you think you are?” 

The ice in his voice made you instinctively take a step back, clutching your own hand tightly to your chest. “I-I’m sorry, I just-” 

“Just be quiet. If you think any of this was something more, then you’re an idiot. Go to bed.” Shoving himself past you to reach the door, it slid shut behind him with a loud click, leaving you alone in darkness. As it swallowed you, sadness followed suit, tears welling up in your eyes as you flopped to sit on your futon. 

You were an idiot. How could you possibly even begin to believe that he would have wanted anything more to do with you? You were just something that he could use, and all of this was something to keep you complacent, like a tool that needed the rust removed so it wouldn’t break. 

“Is that really all I’ve come to be?” You whispered through hiccups, wiping away the tears that streamed down your cheeks. You could still feel the heat of his hand wrapped around yours, his hands so calloused and rough from his years of war. It perfectly matched the rest of him, and yet, he had looked at you like you were more than just a rusty tool. His gaze in the moonlight, so soft and full of wanting made you feel like you were a brilliant gem in his eyes. But you weren’t. You were a nobody that came from nothing, from a world so far off and different from this one, where you didn’t even know if anyone remembered you. 

Not even bothering to remove your clothes from the day or undo your hair, you laid down and covered yourself with your thick blanket, sobbing into the fabric. So stupid! I’m so stupid! He could never care about me like that… Ow, that hurts… 

Feeling something stabbing uncomfortably into your scalp, your sadness was temporarily interrupted as you reached up and pulled the object out of your hair, bringing it down into your teary field of vision. One of the hair ornaments Bakugou had gotten you gleamed against the dull light that filled the room, and for a moment, you thought the crimson jewels looked just like his gaze. 

So beautiful and soft. 

So loving. 

Filled with everything you ever wanted, but would never have.

[kawaiikatanabushi]

A Samurai's Lullaby

I know this has been such a long time in the making! I was being OCD and wanted this to be perfect. As in, the perfect amount of care and fluff to heartmelt.

This little piece is a gift for @eliz1369, because she encouraged me to join tumblr. I found her amazing fanfiction "An Unearned Gift" and got to talking after some reviews. If you don't know that story, check it out! Like, now! I'm so grateful for her advising me to join this Hakuouki community. I'm still pretty new and learning the nuances here, but happy to know more fans of the franchise! Please enjoy this unashamedly fluffy piece.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Nee! Chizuru-chan!" Okita called gently as he sat, legs nestled snugly into his futon, "Chi~zu~ru~cha~n!"

Her youthful face appeared around the open shoji door, her brows peeked upwards as her lips pursed in a small frown. He found himself smiling at the look, knowing she was in full attending stance. Just the attitude he had been hoping for. Yet, before he could make his desires known, she assailed him with many questions oozing concern like that of sticky dango syrup. Everly sweet and coating everything, including his patience.

"Is everything alright? Is it a bloodlust? The pillow too soft? Do you need another blanket? Or, are you hungry? I can fix you something-"

"Chizuru, shut up!" He begged with a laugh, shaking his head indulgently, "I couldn't sleep, so I wanted to see you. Can you spare a moment? I want something from you,"

She snapped her mouth closed, ducking her head as she shuffled into the room and sat beside his bed, eyes trained to the floor. Her cheeks tinted with red, she awaited his request with eagerness. He had been very sick once again, his consumption unhealed and ravaging his body though he had taken the ochimizu. She was disappointed the illness still remained after he had traded his humanity to battle once again. How many times could he be defeated before it broke her heart completely? He received loss every time he turned around, his only consolation having her by his side. Yet, she felt inadequate to comfort him, though her own heart strove to heal the pain mounting within his. She yearned to protect him, though she could lift neither fist nor sword to aid him. She only hoped she could soothe whatever newfound tragedies came their way.

Her eyes flitted up to match his gaze and her heart leapt within her chest. There was an uncanny expression softening his tea green eyes and turning up the corners of his lips. A fleeting thought coursed through her mind and surged through her veins, wondering what thoughts he harbored towards her to bestow such a look. Kindness gave him a beauty that caused her to ponder what being kissed felt like. She reddened all the further, shaming herself for the notion. She was solely supposed to focus on his health, not fantasize swooning in his arms and getting drawn into a passionate hold. Still, that warmth in his eyes fostered a yearning within her. She knew she loved him, though tried to conceal it. He was burdened with enough troubles as it was. She had to hide her pining, no matter how she felt. His health, his body and his heart were more important than her wishes. He was a sick man, and no amount of love could simply heal the death sentence tuberculosis gave.

"Nee, Chizuru," he called once again, placing his large hand over her petite one, calloused fingers stroking the backs of her own, "Since I can't sleep, could you si-sing to-to me? I-I can't seem to get the thought out of my-my head. You're voice always brings me such joy, it's so soft and feminine. There's this lullaby that I know. My... someone once sang it to me, and if you sang it, I'm sure I'd go right to sleep,"

She looked up to his face, eyes wide as her mouth formed a small circle of surprise. If the request wasn't unexpected, the sakura pink tinting his cheeks embarrassed certainly was. She felt her heart soften towards him, and an indulging smile spread upon her face. She nodded tenderly, taking his hand up in her own with an unexpected surge of courage and planted a light kiss on his knuckles. His eyes rounded in shock before he whipped his head away to stare pointedly at the wall. Whatever emotions her small act elicited, it was obvious they were strong. Perhaps, this affection was as mutual as she had hoped. This trying game of avoid the confession was bringing them nowhere, but neither relented in their secret. She was unsure where his feelings lay or to what extent their depths ranged. She was still too uncertain of his desires and therefore could not afford any more bravery than to be pulled into a hug, snuggle into his futon at night or random acts of tenderness towards him. It was all she could as yet muster.

He recovered slowly, his eyes darting to and from hers for a few beats before the blush subsided in his cheeks. His gaze finally settled upon her own and his eyes creased just as an adoring smile graced his handsome features. He drew his face towards her, heart pounding erratically within her chest as the distance was closed between them. With a sudden movement, Okita Souji flicked his tongue up her forehead, chortling at her squealing disgust. She shoved him away as roughly as she could manage, rubbing her sleeve vigilantly against the saliva coating her forehead.

He chose to fall back, pulling her down with him on a whim. She tried to shimmy out of his embrace for fear of another wetting, but froze as he cradled her within his arms.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled tenderly into her hair, feeling her body go lax, "You caught me so off-guard, I couldn't let you win, you know,"

"You licked me," she huffed, hiding her face in his chest, "That's absolutely gross,"

"You might change your mind, one day and hopefully soon. For now, let's just say we're even, as soon as you sing me to sleep," he smirked down fondly, eyes sparkling with mischief, "I'm supposed to recover, remember? How can I if you don't put me to sleep?"

She relented with a sigh and asked him to reveal this song some mysterious someone had supposedly sung to him. Hearing Okita-San sing tightened her heart within her chest. She was no expert on singing or the proper form used to do so, but breathless as the notes were, tears misted her eyes at the sound. His voice was perfect in her own perception and she stored the memory within her heart. It was a song nostalgic and reminiscent with her, but she couldn't place where she had heard it exactly. She simply knew every word, though it remained a mystery as to why. She joined in with him and, though it had to be a trick of the lamplight, could have sworn Okita-san's eyes were tearing as her own. She found herself lacing fingers into his bangs, allowing herself to fall into this strengthening bond with him. He placed a gentle hold on her wrist, kissing her palm before releasing her once again to pet his hair, requesting she continue.

It has to be love, she thought with a full heart, there can be nothing else to explain this. This connection, this bond we share, it has to be love. Maybe he doesn't know it yet, but I do. I want to remain by his side. I won't be leaving him, ever. Even if our time is short. Even if he will succumb to tuberculosis. I want nothing more than to be his, in whatever way he let's me.

She resumed the tune, his eyes growing heavy as fluttering blinks fought his sleepiness. Chizuru pulled her hand from his soft bangs to stroke his cheek and though he mumbled she was not playing fair, his eyes closed and he rested his face against hers with a contented sigh. A tear slipped from her eye, tracing over her nose to splash upon the bedding. There was an innocence and softness locked within this man. By gaining his trust, he allowed her to see everything he was and carefully revealed the softest parts of himself, which had once been reserved to cats and children. Inside he was frail, scared and though broken, also had a depth of goodness buried far beneath a past she was still discovering. She cherished him, praying silently as her nose and forehead remained against his, that somehow, he could be granted a little more time. She wanted to be allowed to love him, if only just a little longer. He appeared as innocent as a child and her heart burst for him. She cried the tears he could not indulge in. She kissed his nose, wishing him a quiet goodnight. He mumbled incoherently in his sleep and though it held no words, she cried all the harder at a reply. He had answered back, the desire so strong it surfaced through his slumber. She would guide him to healing, hoping that above all things, she could satisfy the needs that were best for him in the long run.

"I... I will protect you," she vowed quietly, "No matter what, I will do everything to keep you safe O-Oki... S-Souji. I will keep you safe, Souji,"

[scotwresnet]

Firstly I’d just like to take this opportunity to remember both Shad Gaspard and Hana Kimura. Both taken tragically early from us. My thoughts go out to all those who are grieving their loss at this sad time and I’d like to dedicate this article to both of them.

I’d also just like to start this edition of SWN Behind the Art by saying that when I initially started doing this series I had no real idea about what direction I was heading in. It probably showed and probably still does but I think I finally now know what I am aiming to do. I feel that within the last couple of editions you can see huge improvements and my aim is to keep getting better. What I’m trying to show you with these articles is wrestling from a different perspective. Whether it’s interviewing wrestlers and letting them show another side to themselves that you wouldn’t normally see whilst watching them in the ring or just getting a fans perspective of what turns you on and excites you in the wrestling world, I hope this section of the Scottish Wrestling Network website is just as welcome an addition to your consumption of pro wrestling content as all the rest. What I’m really trying to say is thank you for reading my articles and I hope they are providing you with some sort of entertainment and maybe some inspiration in your own life. Thank you.

But that’s enough from me… let’s move on to the main event…

I can’t tell you just how much of a pleasure it was speaking to this wonderful woman. I talked to her over a period of time and a couple of the final questions in this interview were only answered recently with recent events sadly in mind. I admire and thank Aivil for the strength of feeling with which she expresses herself and highly admire her sentiments. Thank you Aivil.

Photo credit Sandy Smith Photography

–

She’s an artist inside the ring and loves to create outside of it too. I’m so lucky and thrilled to be able to bring you a very special interview with former and, no doubt in my mind, future ICW Women’s Champion Aivil.

I won’t ask you to introduce yourself Aivil because those who don’t know who you are by now should be ashamed of themselves and should go right out and research you work right away. But can you give us a brief biography of where you come from and about how you came to be residing in Scotland.

Hi everyone, thank you for your kind words, but in reality I’m not that special. Just a regular freaky monster 🙂

I was born in Italy and lived there the majority of my life. I moved to Scotland in 2016 for working reasons and with the dream of continuing my wrestling training with some of the very best wrestlers in Europe.

Great. Thank you. Now, Italy has such a rich and illustrious art history doesn’t it? Art must rub of on just about everyone there. I understand you like to draw. What kind of things do you like to draw?

I’ve always been a very creative person. My imagination always runs wild and literally everything (a song, an object, a colour, a person etc) can turn into the most unexpected source of inspiration for me. I like to let my instinct and emotions drive me through everything I do, so my drawings vary a lot.

I love to draw comics and fantasy characters, cyborgs and monsters, but I also like to do portraits, to draw flowers, fashion outfits and there was a time I was also into tattoos sketches.

Nice. Do you have any particular favourite artists? And what about them or their work inspires you?

I love Paolo Barbieri’s art, his elegant trait, the colours, the curves and his ability to improvise on everything. If you guys have never heard of him, go check his art out. It’s stunning! And he’s Italian like me!

To be honest with you, there are so many contemporary artists I love, just to mention a few of them: Kiyo Kyujyo, Luis Royo, Victoria Francés, Xiao Fan Chuan… like I could spend the whole day mentioning artists as I read so many manga and illustrated comics too that it is easy to come up with names. Referring to more classic art, I’ve always loved the colours and the technique of the Impressionists and the perfect proportions and details of the Neoclassicism.

I’d like to touch on your love of manga and comics later on if that’s ok because I understand you like to write also but first I’d like to ask you about your in ring persona. Wrestling is a major art form in itself. It requires a lot of skills that wouldn’t be out of place in say dance or ballet as well as contact sports and it incorporates all the theatricality of acting also. With that being said you include an extra special aspect to your character don’t you? Tell us about your face paint. When and how did that all begin? Has it become a ritual in your performance? And where do you get the inspiration from?

There was never a day I wrestled without my face paint on. For me it’s like wearing a mask that allows me to kick my shyness away for awhile and create that relationship with the crowd that’s so essential in what we do. We are athletes and also storytellers. If we don’t engage with the crowd we’re partially failing as wrestlers. Even though I look very confident from the outside, I have many insecurities. The face paint is a brilliant method, at least for me, to cope with insecurity and let my spirit free.

My inspiration might come from everything around me. Of course, being a clown and a demon priestess, my main inspirations are fellow freaks and Gothic creatures. Paxxo and I, back in the days, took part in a project called Painted for War, where we asked our friends and fans to help us find a character to inspire our next wrestling make up. I think my favourite one to do was Scar, from the Lion King.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

You mentioned clown and demon priestess there. Just how did Jokey and Aivil come about?

Both Aivil and Jokey are fragments of my personality. Of course I took inspiration from books, movies and fantasy characters to create my outfits and build up the gimmicks, but they are part of who I already am. That’s why I feel comfortable showing their colours in the ring. It’s a matter of finding yourself along the journey and not being afraid to show it to the world. Your light, your darkness, your clumsiness, your grace, your faults and your strength points. This is also why it’s important for everybody to remember one thing: beyond the character and the masks we are all human beings, just like you. We might be your superheroes or the best villains on the planet, but we are also people. Words affect us the same way they do with you. Please allow me to use this platform to spread a message of love and support. We, the wrestlers, always try to be at our best for our fans, no matter how difficult our life may be. We perform to deliver you joy, emotions and memories. You are allowed to have an opinion, to like us or not. But remember, you can express your thoughts and be respectful at the same time. We are trying our best. Be kind. Don’t wait till it’s too late to show affection and love. And this last statement goes for everyone.

I couldn’t agree with you more and feel free to express anything you want to say here. That’s no problem at all. You said that you like to read manga and comic books, and like to draw fantasy characters. Are you into writing about them also? You like to write don’t you? What does the act of writing give you?

I do love writing. I am currently working on a book to be honest. I started this project years ago, when I was a teenager. It all began as a way to escape from a reality I wasn’t fitting in. Many things happened since that day and then I left the project aside, for lack of time and inspiration. I wasn’t ready to finish the story, to close that chapter of my life. Recently, during the quarantine, I gathered some courage and I started to go through everything I wrote again and again. It needed some sort of editing, as I have changed through the years and so did my writing and my thoughts about life.

I also write short stories and I find very useful to take notes on my feelings or special life circumstances. As I previously mentioned, when I was around 18 years old I fell in a very dark place. I suffered a lot and it was hard to just think about waking up and be ready to live another day of my life. Writing, among other activities like singing and drawing, helped me be brave and strong enough when all I wanted was to lie on the floor and close my eyes for good. It hurts talking about this, but I am glad you are allowing me to share my experience and my love for writing, because maybe I will be able to reach other people who are suffering the same way and somehow help them. Even just by letting them know they are not alone and there is someone who can understand how they feel.

How important do you think art and self expression is to mental well-being?

Art in general is a beautiful way to express your feelings and get rid of all the negativity that piles up in your brain and in your heart.

It could be any form of art. The simple act of expressing yourself freely will let you feel softer and happier, trust me. Don’t be scared of showing your colours to the world. There is nothing wrong in art.

Sometimes we have to carry heavy burdens, you know. And it gets harder and harder. If you keep everything inside, you will eventually explode. I did. Multiple times.

So whenever you feel the fire burning inside your head and you feel thorns in your heart, let yourself free. Get rid of everything. Of the good and the bad emotions. Turn them into something special and unique. In this way they won’t crush you down. They will lift you up instead, they will empower you and everyone will be able to appreciate you throughout your artistic creations.

The most important thing to do, though, is learning how to love yourself first. And you gotta let people in at some point. Some will hurt you for sure, but that’s the only way the light comes in too. You all have that strength inside of you. Be confident and be brave. You are not alone.

I want to add one last little thing. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing interest in my art and letting me talk about such critical and delicate matters, such as mental health and depression. These are dark times, I hope my words can reach out to a few people in need of help and support them. As my grandma taught me, love is the most powerful medicine in the world.

Thank you. Stay safe and take care of each other.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

What more can I say but thank Aivil profusely for taking the time to talk to me. It was truly an honour.

If you’d like to find out more about Aivil and I highly recommend that you do then you can go to her social media pages here:

Instagram: @twisted_priestess Twitter: @Twisted_Doll_AJ Facebook: Jokey & Aivil

And if you’d like to be featured in SWN Fan Art Corner you can send in your art to:

Instagram: @themaskedembroiderer Twitter: @TEmbroiderer Or email us ScotWresNet@gmail.com Or use the hashtags #scottishwrestlingart or #scottishwrestlingfanart

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

[scottish-wrestling-network]

Firstly I’d just like to take this opportunity to remember both Shad Gaspard and Hana Kimura. Both taken tragically early from us. My thoughts go out to all those who are grieving their loss at this sad time and I’d like to dedicate this article to both of them.

I’d also just like to start this edition of SWN Behind the Art by saying that when I initially started doing this series I had no real idea about what direction I was heading in. It probably showed and probably still does but I think I finally now know what I am aiming to do. I feel that within the last couple of editions you can see huge improvements and my aim is to keep getting better. What I’m trying to show you with these articles is wrestling from a different perspective. Whether it’s interviewing wrestlers and letting them show another side to themselves that you wouldn’t normally see whilst watching them in the ring or just getting a fans perspective of what turns you on and excites you in the wrestling world, I hope this section of the Scottish Wrestling Network website is just as welcome an addition to your consumption of pro wrestling content as all the rest. What I’m really trying to say is thank you for reading my articles and I hope they are providing you with some sort of entertainment and maybe some inspiration in your own life. Thank you.

But that’s enough from me… let’s move on to the main event…

I can’t tell you just how much of a pleasure it was speaking to this wonderful woman. I talked to her over a period of time and a couple of the final questions in this interview were only answered recently with recent events sadly in mind. I admire and thank Aivil for the strength of feeling with which she expresses herself and highly admire her sentiments. Thank you Aivil.

Photo credit Sandy Smith Photography

–

She’s an artist inside the ring and loves to create outside of it too. I’m so lucky and thrilled to be able to bring you a very special interview with former and, no doubt in my mind, future ICW Women’s Champion Aivil.

I won’t ask you to introduce yourself Aivil because those who don’t know who you are by now should be ashamed of themselves and should go right out and research you work right away. But can you give us a brief biography of where you come from and about how you came to be residing in Scotland.

Hi everyone, thank you for your kind words, but in reality I’m not that special. Just a regular freaky monster 🙂

I was born in Italy and lived there the majority of my life. I moved to Scotland in 2016 for working reasons and with the dream of continuing my wrestling training with some of the very best wrestlers in Europe.

Great. Thank you. Now, Italy has such a rich and illustrious art history doesn’t it? Art must rub of on just about everyone there. I understand you like to draw. What kind of things do you like to draw?

I’ve always been a very creative person. My imagination always runs wild and literally everything (a song, an object, a colour, a person etc) can turn into the most unexpected source of inspiration for me. I like to let my instinct and emotions drive me through everything I do, so my drawings vary a lot.

I love to draw comics and fantasy characters, cyborgs and monsters, but I also like to do portraits, to draw flowers, fashion outfits and there was a time I was also into tattoos sketches.

Nice. Do you have any particular favourite artists? And what about them or their work inspires you?

I love Paolo Barbieri’s art, his elegant trait, the colours, the curves and his ability to improvise on everything. If you guys have never heard of him, go check his art out. It’s stunning! And he’s Italian like me!

To be honest with you, there are so many contemporary artists I love, just to mention a few of them: Kiyo Kyujyo, Luis Royo, Victoria Francés, Xiao Fan Chuan… like I could spend the whole day mentioning artists as I read so many manga and illustrated comics too that it is easy to come up with names. Referring to more classic art, I’ve always loved the colours and the technique of the Impressionists and the perfect proportions and details of the Neoclassicism.

I’d like to touch on your love of manga and comics later on if that’s ok because I understand you like to write also but first I’d like to ask you about your in ring persona. Wrestling is a major art form in itself. It requires a lot of skills that wouldn’t be out of place in say dance or ballet as well as contact sports and it incorporates all the theatricality of acting also. With that being said you include an extra special aspect to your character don’t you? Tell us about your face paint. When and how did that all begin? Has it become a ritual in your performance? And where do you get the inspiration from?

There was never a day I wrestled without my face paint on. For me it’s like wearing a mask that allows me to kick my shyness away for awhile and create that relationship with the crowd that’s so essential in what we do. We are athletes and also storytellers. If we don’t engage with the crowd we’re partially failing as wrestlers. Even though I look very confident from the outside, I have many insecurities. The face paint is a brilliant method, at least for me, to cope with insecurity and let my spirit free.

My inspiration might come from everything around me. Of course, being a clown and a demon priestess, my main inspirations are fellow freaks and Gothic creatures. Paxxo and I, back in the days, took part in a project called Painted for War, where we asked our friends and fans to help us find a character to inspire our next wrestling make up. I think my favourite one to do was Scar, from the Lion King.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

You mentioned clown and demon priestess there. Just how did Jokey and Aivil come about?

Both Aivil and Jokey are fragments of my personality. Of course I took inspiration from books, movies and fantasy characters to create my outfits and build up the gimmicks, but they are part of who I already am. That’s why I feel comfortable showing their colours in the ring. It’s a matter of finding yourself along the journey and not being afraid to show it to the world. Your light, your darkness, your clumsiness, your grace, your faults and your strength points. This is also why it’s important for everybody to remember one thing: beyond the character and the masks we are all human beings, just like you. We might be your superheroes or the best villains on the planet, but we are also people. Words affect us the same way they do with you. Please allow me to use this platform to spread a message of love and support. We, the wrestlers, always try to be at our best for our fans, no matter how difficult our life may be. We perform to deliver you joy, emotions and memories. You are allowed to have an opinion, to like us or not. But remember, you can express your thoughts and be respectful at the same time. We are trying our best. Be kind. Don’t wait till it’s too late to show affection and love. And this last statement goes for everyone.

I couldn’t agree with you more and feel free to express anything you want to say here. That’s no problem at all. You said that you like to read manga and comic books, and like to draw fantasy characters. Are you into writing about them also? You like to write don’t you? What does the act of writing give you?

I do love writing. I am currently working on a book to be honest. I started this project years ago, when I was a teenager. It all began as a way to escape from a reality I wasn’t fitting in. Many things happened since that day and then I left the project aside, for lack of time and inspiration. I wasn’t ready to finish the story, to close that chapter of my life. Recently, during the quarantine, I gathered some courage and I started to go through everything I wrote again and again. It needed some sort of editing, as I have changed through the years and so did my writing and my thoughts about life.

I also write short stories and I find very useful to take notes on my feelings or special life circumstances. As I previously mentioned, when I was around 18 years old I fell in a very dark place. I suffered a lot and it was hard to just think about waking up and be ready to live another day of my life. Writing, among other activities like singing and drawing, helped me be brave and strong enough when all I wanted was to lie on the floor and close my eyes for good. It hurts talking about this, but I am glad you are allowing me to share my experience and my love for writing, because maybe I will be able to reach other people who are suffering the same way and somehow help them. Even just by letting them know they are not alone and there is someone who can understand how they feel.

How important do you think art and self expression is to mental well-being?

Art in general is a beautiful way to express your feelings and get rid of all the negativity that piles up in your brain and in your heart.

It could be any form of art. The simple act of expressing yourself freely will let you feel softer and happier, trust me. Don’t be scared of showing your colours to the world. There is nothing wrong in art.

Sometimes we have to carry heavy burdens, you know. And it gets harder and harder. If you keep everything inside, you will eventually explode. I did. Multiple times.

So whenever you feel the fire burning inside your head and you feel thorns in your heart, let yourself free. Get rid of everything. Of the good and the bad emotions. Turn them into something special and unique. In this way they won’t crush you down. They will lift you up instead, they will empower you and everyone will be able to appreciate you throughout your artistic creations.

The most important thing to do, though, is learning how to love yourself first. And you gotta let people in at some point. Some will hurt you for sure, but that’s the only way the light comes in too. You all have that strength inside of you. Be confident and be brave. You are not alone.

I want to add one last little thing. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing interest in my art and letting me talk about such critical and delicate matters, such as mental health and depression. These are dark times, I hope my words can reach out to a few people in need of help and support them. As my grandma taught me, love is the most powerful medicine in the world.

Thank you. Stay safe and take care of each other.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

What more can I say but thank Aivil profusely for taking the time to talk to me. It was truly an honour.

If you’d like to find out more about Aivil and I highly recommend that you do then you can go to her social media pages here:

Instagram: @twisted_priestess Twitter: @Twisted_Doll_AJ Facebook: Jokey & Aivil

And if you’d like to be featured in SWN Fan Art Corner you can send in your art to:

Instagram: @themaskedembroiderer Twitter: @TEmbroiderer Or email us ScotWresNet@gmail.com Or use the hashtags #scottishwrestlingart or #scottishwrestlingfanart

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

[yes-dal456]

3 Reasons Why Being Dedicated To Your Personal Growth Is So Important

Carrying around emotional baggage is a heavy burden to bear and must be healed as an integral part of our journeys. Unfortunately, we all have to face at one point or another that our lives aren’t going to get better until we’ve dealt with our issues.

An emotional “clean up” of one’s life can be difficult at best, but the results of making a concerted effort to do so will completely change you and send you where you’re supposed to be – living an amazing, fulfilling, joyful existence. What needs healing on the outside has to be addressed at the roots. However, it takes a willingness and a commitment to finding out why your life is the way it is, what you need to do to change it for the better, and be able to follow through on it.

The bottom line that most people resist and don’t want to hear is that if your life isn’t satisfying, or worse, the responsibility for this lies directly with you. We can place blame outside of ourselves, and rightly so if someone has hurt us deeply, but the fact remains that if you are giving them the power to control your happiness, then that is on you. Not only are you not helping yourself, but you certainly don’t have the capacity to truly help anyone else.

Consider these three points that are important to recognize in order to put an end to the possibly life-long cycle of discontent, and really understand the necessity for personal growth.

1) You have to be honest.

If something major is not working in your life, you have to be truthful with yourself about it. Trying to overlook a situation that has happened to you in the past that was traumatic, or a current situation that you are in that is making you terribly unhappy, is never going to work out. Denial does not work, and you are not fooling anyone, particularly yourself. You are not going to get away with dealing with your issues simply by ignoring them. The situation will haunt you day in and day out whether you consciously acknowledge it or not. It will tap you on the shoulder every chance it gets and say, “Pay attention to me!” It will demand your attention and focus until you deal with it. Having those feelings pent up inside begging you to address them is what is keeping you from having the life you want, and in fact, may be guaranteeing that you never live the amazing life you are supposed to be living. Instead, you will continue to project and carry dysfunction into all of your relationships; and then, you will sit there and wonder why your relationships are a mess, whether it’s with your partner, your kids, your parents, your friends, etc.

There are countless self-help books, spiritual materials, and counselors ready to get you through this. But be that as it may, those resources can’t help if you don’t take advantage of them and the opportunity they provide to heal.

2) You may be focused on the wrong things.

What you are in alignment with is what you are going to get. How many of us are convinced that we are centered when we clearly are not? It doesn’t matter how well you think you can fake it by smiling and acting jovial. Your vibration can still be quite low and feel crappy to everyone around you. Not only that, no matter how happy you pretend to be, the Universe is not easily fooled, either. We all just want to jump straight to the future where we will be fulfilled and all of our dreams will manifest, but that cannot happen until our alignment with it happens.

If you are focused on that which gives you feelings of well-being, wholeness, and contentment within yourself, then you are in alignment and your needs can be met by the Universe. This can be done by trusting and allowing the Divine Order of all things. However, if you are in a constant state of worry, want, and resistance, then you are out of alignment with the flow of creation and your needs will forever remain beyond your reach. The Universe is always giving us everything that resonates with us. We cannot experience what we do not resonate with, and this is how desires become blocked from manifesting. The Universe is a mirror; it does one thing: it responds to our focus, which in turn, dictates our vibration…our resonance. Change your focus, and the Universe will change its response.

3) Your personal growth reaches far beyond just you.

I frequently hear people say, “I know I want to help the world in some way, but I don’t really know what to do. I should be in Africa helping people or something.” First of all, if you were supposed to be in Africa right now then you would be. You are where you are supposed to be at this moment. Maybe someday you will be in Africa or somewhere else helping others, but right now, there is something extremely important that you must hear: “Your growth is your service.” What does that mean? It means that every single time you choose to love, heal, shift, evolve, and allow your own authenticity to lead the way, you are supporting the whole of the planet in more profound ways than you could ever imagine. When you decide to commit to healing the core of your being, and growing and expanding into the light that your soul wants you to be, then you shift not only the energy in your own life dramatically for the better, but you also raise the vibrational frequency of the entire planet. Therefore, when you work on yourself, not only do you personally enjoy a better life, but you are serving everyone and everything in the process.

What we all need to remind ourselves of is this: We attract what we do because of who we are being. Can we attract opportunities if our focus is on the absence of opportunities in our life? No. Can we attract love with a closed heart? No. If our habitual thoughts are negative will we create a positive outcome? No.

Who are you being and is he/she who you truly want to be? Be honest with yourself. Every person on the planet needs to work on themselves for whatever reason…There are no exceptions. Anyone who insists that they are immune to this reality is going to stay stagnant and stuck in a life that requires struggle and despair. So, do yourself a huge favor: take an honest look at yourself and make a command decision to see your personal growth as a top priority. The result will be a life of happiness and fulfillment once and for all.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from http://ift.tt/2oU0YyV from Blogger http://ift.tt/2qo30I1

[imreviewblog]

3 Reasons Why Being Dedicated To Your Personal Growth Is So Important

Carrying around emotional baggage is a heavy burden to bear and must be healed as an integral part of our journeys. Unfortunately, we all have to face at one point or another that our lives aren’t going to get better until we’ve dealt with our issues.

An emotional “clean up” of one’s life can be difficult at best, but the results of making a concerted effort to do so will completely change you and send you where you’re supposed to be – living an amazing, fulfilling, joyful existence. What needs healing on the outside has to be addressed at the roots. However, it takes a willingness and a commitment to finding out why your life is the way it is, what you need to do to change it for the better, and be able to follow through on it.

The bottom line that most people resist and don’t want to hear is that if your life isn’t satisfying, or worse, the responsibility for this lies directly with you. We can place blame outside of ourselves, and rightly so if someone has hurt us deeply, but the fact remains that if you are giving them the power to control your happiness, then that is on you. Not only are you not helping yourself, but you certainly don’t have the capacity to truly help anyone else.

Consider these three points that are important to recognize in order to put an end to the possibly life-long cycle of discontent, and really understand the necessity for personal growth.

1) You have to be honest.

If something major is not working in your life, you have to be truthful with yourself about it. Trying to overlook a situation that has happened to you in the past that was traumatic, or a current situation that you are in that is making you terribly unhappy, is never going to work out. Denial does not work, and you are not fooling anyone, particularly yourself. You are not going to get away with dealing with your issues simply by ignoring them. The situation will haunt you day in and day out whether you consciously acknowledge it or not. It will tap you on the shoulder every chance it gets and say, “Pay attention to me!” It will demand your attention and focus until you deal with it. Having those feelings pent up inside begging you to address them is what is keeping you from having the life you want, and in fact, may be guaranteeing that you never live the amazing life you are supposed to be living. Instead, you will continue to project and carry dysfunction into all of your relationships; and then, you will sit there and wonder why your relationships are a mess, whether it’s with your partner, your kids, your parents, your friends, etc.

There are countless self-help books, spiritual materials, and counselors ready to get you through this. But be that as it may, those resources can’t help if you don’t take advantage of them and the opportunity they provide to heal.

2) You may be focused on the wrong things.

What you are in alignment with is what you are going to get. How many of us are convinced that we are centered when we clearly are not? It doesn’t matter how well you think you can fake it by smiling and acting jovial. Your vibration can still be quite low and feel crappy to everyone around you. Not only that, no matter how happy you pretend to be, the Universe is not easily fooled, either. We all just want to jump straight to the future where we will be fulfilled and all of our dreams will manifest, but that cannot happen until our alignment with it happens.

If you are focused on that which gives you feelings of well-being, wholeness, and contentment within yourself, then you are in alignment and your needs can be met by the Universe. This can be done by trusting and allowing the Divine Order of all things. However, if you are in a constant state of worry, want, and resistance, then you are out of alignment with the flow of creation and your needs will forever remain beyond your reach. The Universe is always giving us everything that resonates with us. We cannot experience what we do not resonate with, and this is how desires become blocked from manifesting. The Universe is a mirror; it does one thing: it responds to our focus, which in turn, dictates our vibration…our resonance. Change your focus, and the Universe will change its response.

3) Your personal growth reaches far beyond just you.

I frequently hear people say, “I know I want to help the world in some way, but I don’t really know what to do. I should be in Africa helping people or something.” First of all, if you were supposed to be in Africa right now then you would be. You are where you are supposed to be at this moment. Maybe someday you will be in Africa or somewhere else helping others, but right now, there is something extremely important that you must hear: “Your growth is your service.” What does that mean? It means that every single time you choose to love, heal, shift, evolve, and allow your own authenticity to lead the way, you are supporting the whole of the planet in more profound ways than you could ever imagine. When you decide to commit to healing the core of your being, and growing and expanding into the light that your soul wants you to be, then you shift not only the energy in your own life dramatically for the better, but you also raise the vibrational frequency of the entire planet. Therefore, when you work on yourself, not only do you personally enjoy a better life, but you are serving everyone and everything in the process.

What we all need to remind ourselves of is this: We attract what we do because of who we are being. Can we attract opportunities if our focus is on the absence of opportunities in our life? No. Can we attract love with a closed heart? No. If our habitual thoughts are negative will we create a positive outcome? No.

Who are you being and is he/she who you truly want to be? Be honest with yourself. Every person on the planet needs to work on themselves for whatever reason…There are no exceptions. Anyone who insists that they are immune to this reality is going to stay stagnant and stuck in a life that requires struggle and despair. So, do yourself a huge favor: take an honest look at yourself and make a command decision to see your personal growth as a top priority. The result will be a life of happiness and fulfillment once and for all.

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from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://huff.to/2oGi1bX