#something something i leave because i love you but i lost you
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sugurucoded in every sense of the word
#i think he will always be the first one to leave… there’s no version of him in my mind (canon adjacent) where he doesn’t leave first#i just think in times of having chosen other people he decides to choose himself#and that will always result in Leaving . whether it be for his sake or his significant other’s sake#and i think at the same time he will ALWAYS deep down be the one w the most regret even if he says he has none#i think he has a tendency to keep people at a polite distance bc he doesn’t want to get hurt (maybe ties into his family history)#and so he’ll leave before he can get hurt + before he can hurt someone (emotionally)#like he’s fine with being hated (he’s not) but… idk to me at the end of the day he’s a very like . Scared person#again this isn’t technically canon suguru but it’s a facet OF suguru that i find fascinating#it’s funny too because when he chooses himself he dooms himself & others around him#something something i leave because i love you but i lost you#i didn’t end up ordering war of the foxes bc i forgot/missed the sale but i’ll get it during black friday methinks#also it’s been YEARS since i read crush… i need reread it again tomorrow#*need to . it’s nighttime i’m sleepy#personal
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also in the face of people deleting their blogs, that's another reason why you guys are supposed to reblog stuff. if somebody deletes a post, your liked version will disappear, but the reblogs remain. i'm insane about preservation and archival, every single piece of art i have ever enjoyed is reblogged on my 450k+ posts main account so if the artists leave I still have their work. i even tag things (though just with the main fandom tag) so I have years and years worth of fanworks saved that the terrible general site search will never show you.
please reblog art. not just to support the artists who make it and share their efforts, but also so you have your own copy of their works saved for yourself, and the future users of this site.
#reblog art#artist support#so basically if you dont reblog art i do not want to hear you complaining about your fav artists deleting and leaving lol#if you used this site like you were supposed to it would be at least Slightly less of an issue because you'd still have it all#save the shit you like!!! i never delete my art personally but i Want my art to be out there. just in case something happens to my blog#save my art. save everything. just dont upload it to entirely different websites like instagram cuz that makes u a prick#if your favorite artist deletes tomorrow. what evidence do you have that they were here at all?#reblog. for the love of god reblog#i lost so much great art from deviantart thanks to eclipse and the Al bullshit that i didn't save. but on tumblr i dont have to worry abt i
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what if purple never calls him dad
#what if the word ‘dad’ is something purple doesn’t like.#what if it carries a bad connotation for them and a bitter reminder for mango.#family doesnt always have to look like one thing yknow? i dont think those two would have a traditional dynamic in that way#maybe purple does consider him their parent. they just dont call him ‘dad’ unless its in third person#and theyre fine with that and so is he#king is his father figure yes but he’s also a mom. a big brother. a sister. their dynamic just isnt captured in purple calling him ‘dad’#maybe his name is the best way they can say it. the best way they can appreciate him#because for purple a father is someone who hurts you. someone who leaves you#i think ‘purple calls him dad on accident’ is a cute idea#but honestly it would make more sense if they called him mom on accident instead. or if it happened when they were afraid. not comfortable#(this is presuming orchid is his mother and navy his father based on the pronouns used in the react vids iirc)#because why would purple refer to someone he sees as a parent with the title of the one that presumably did not raise them?#and on mangos end#i think u can kinda tell who in this fandom has never lost a loved one in how they characterize him#guys. grief doesnt leave. it never leaves.#you just learn to live with it!!!#mango is not okay just because he has a new kid to take care of. i would know this my bio mom passed and i have a stepmother!!!#she does not fill that void and i do not expect her to because it cannot be filled. but she brings a lot new to ease the pain and is a#wonderful part of my life#the same thing here#mango will never ever just .. go back to how he was#he will never be the same since gold died. and thats okay#purple will not change that. they will merely add something new#their dynamic can be beautiful and nontraditional and a showing of how grief can change you#it doesnt have to be ‘replacement dad and replacement son’#its so much more#oke. tag rant over#fett rambles#ava#uhh should i tag the chars
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with Süleiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to “heaven” as well and her “looking at their happiness from above” Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and Süleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting Süleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't “fully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished 😅)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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Soulmates AU in which your soul is bounded to your soulmate's soul.
What does that mean exactly? That when you die, if your soulmate is still alive you can't move on. Instead your soul is stuck by your soulmate's side until they die too, so the two souls can become one in death. Depending on how strong the bond between the two is, one could see (and even interact!) with their deceased soulmate.
Now this but, you know by now, JeanMarco. With Marco waking up and the first thing he saw was Jean's terrified face while looking at the dead body- Marco's half eaten dead body. He learns it pretty quickly that he can't leave Jean's side, bound to follow his best friend around. He also learns that is possible for Jean to see and hear him during the ceremony of burning the fallen soldiers during Trost ; it lasted so little, too little for all the things Marco wanted to say. If he knew Jean was listening from the beginning, he would've started with exposing Reiner and Berthold right away. By the time he took notice that not only Jean was looking at him, but listening too, it was too late. Every other word from him was meet with silence, unheard by the living.
Isn't until the 57th expedition outside the walls that Marco learns that he can interact with Jean too, touch him. In his panic after Jean's failed attack on the Female Titan Marco didn't think and went straight to his best friend's side, touching his shoulder while looking for any injuries. Jean's eyes went straight to the place Marco's was touching, looking confused- until he followed the arm and saw Marco in front of his very own eyes. And just like everything, it lasted too little for Marco's liking. The Female Titan took hold of Reiner, crushing him in her hand, and Jean could no longer see him.
It was later, much much later than either of them would've liked, for Marco to understand how everything works. To know that he could only interact with Jean when his mind was filled with thoughts of Marco. By then Jean already began to move on, the secret of Reiner and Berthold's true selves already out. So Marco could only watch, unable to be there for his other half- for Jean.
And it was when they saw the ocean for the first time that Marco understood why he was truly stuck by Jean's side. When he saw his best friend having fun with the others and realized just how much he loves him. When he realizes that all he truly wants is to be by Jean's side, the way they promised each other to do during their training days.
Edit : Think of Ben and Klaus Hargreeves for easier visual.
#Jean starting to think of Marco less and less until he becomes a mere memory in the back of his head#While Marco keeps thinking of Jean more and more hoping for at least one more second together#Marco telling Jean to calm down while he's attacking Annie in her crystal and that being the only reason he even stopped :)#Them having so many small moments but Jean thinking he lost his fucking mind#Sometimes Marco's voice would tell Jean to dodge or something and Jean would hesitate one second- just for it to be the right call#Marco yelling 'Jean! Look out!' when Gabi gets inside the airship and Jean looks towards the entrance but is too late-#Gabi already shoot Sasha by then#Marco feeling SO GUILTY over it because he couldn't warm them sooner#But also Marco and Sasha chilling together because Sasha couldn't leave Connie's side either#And her describing to him all the food Niccolo has cooked for her! The taste and the different textures and the bright colors!#'Of course I love Connie! He's my other half my twin! You must love Jean very much too to be stuck by his side all this time!'#'Of course I do. He's my other half too. My everything' and that's when they realize that their situation isn't the same#That Marco's love for Jean wasn't the same as Sasha's love for Connie#anyway#aot#jean kirstein#jeanmarco#aot jean#marco bodt#marco bott#snk#aot marco#jean kirschstein#soulmate au#JeanMarco Soulmate AU#I mean it can be platonic if you truly want. But I don't want to so there's that lol#Hesitate no second*
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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SHHH SH HEYYY HEY DONT TELL ANYONE BUT... ive been workin on smth since BITB came out..... itsa lil musical animatic involvin kian and becky.... ITS NO WHERE NEAR DONE YET but loooook look im puttin lil screenshots under the cut. its supposed to go along with Am I In Heaven? by King Gizzard n the Lizard Wizard. infact yknow what cmere come sit with be bc ALOT of songs from the 'IM IN YOUR MIND FUZZ' album makes me think about becky and kian. oh my god. those two make me so damn emotional. like Her and I was the first one to rly resonate with me, and EMPTY was another good one, all just stuff about. yknow LOVE!! doomed by the narrative yet burning SO SO brightly in its last moments, holding hands, playing music, THEY WERE SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT THE COPY OF THEM LOVED YOU, AND YOUR COPY LOVES THEM TOO. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CRUMBLING, BURNING, HISSING, SQUIRMING, MELTING, CLICKING LOVE STORY..
GET OVER HERE N SCREAM WITH MEEE I LOVE SCREAMING ABOUT THINGS
#THIS IS A DRAFT that i made like. months ago. woopsie.#BUT IM CHIPPING AWAY AT IT AGAIN. IT CANT STAY UNFINISHED FOREVER. ONE DAY YOU WILL ALL SEE! YOULL ALL SSSEEEE!!!!!!!#no reblogs either this stays between US!!!!!!!!!!#and if you guys like it enough i might post an old fuckin wip i have all packaged together on youtube. its a VIDEO it goes w the MUSIC!!#SOUND WITH THE MOVING IMAGE?? IVE ONLY EVER DONE IT ONCE!!!#ill post the Lord of Lightning animatic i made on tumblr when i get the chance. in the meantime i ahve it posted on twitter. GO FETCH#but THIS SECOND ONE is out there.. all synced together..#but its a wip and its rough and old and scuffed and i HATE IT. my son whom i wish was dead#but you can see it. for the small small price of uh. begging.#also ouuhh my god i love becky and kian so much... they make me so emotional.. SOMETHING ABT DOOMED SHIPS...#even as the boat sinks these two clung together so tightly. they really really did love eachother so much. even after ten years of ROTTING#of sitting and waiting and wondering 'where is she?' is she lost? hurt? did something happen? is she okay? did she even want to be here?#does she hate me? did she leave because she hated me? she never wanted to see me again? where is she? where is she? guess ill write a song#FOR TEN YEARS. when i was just busy. i was distracted. so much came up. things got serious. my dream became clear and i had to chase it#i didnt know you were waiting. im sorry. i should have chased the thought of you more. but i was busy. i was just busy.#i wish that i could apologize with the throat that was my own. i hope this copy will suffice. i hope this copy will suffice. UGH
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An update on my account. I will no longer post any LoZ art on Tumblr. For the past several weeks, I have been feeling repeatedly unsafe and uncomfortable from my expirience here. No matter how much I curate my time here, nothing improves or works effectively. I am still in frequent proximity to the things that have hurt, and continue to hurt me. My love for the series itself has been soured and I want to move on to better things. (I'm also sick of this series' constant racism and misogyny; TotK plays a part in killing the love I had in this too). I thank you for all your support, but this place does not make me happy anymore.
#I'm keeping this post vaguely worded because i shouldn't need to tell strangers personal things for them to respect me#and also I don't want to spend my evening panicking about the million ways people want to argue with me#No one gets to decide anything on my behalf#I'm kinda heart broken about this ngl#to have something I invested so much love in turn into something that makes me feel face numbing dread#I feel like I'm trying to write to convince the very people who ruined this for me to treat me like a human. or. care?#which is a lost battle from the start#just unfollow and leave me alone. Prove to me you can at least respect me. That's the least I can ask for here.#cal.txt
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Bleh.
#idk. experiencing that fun dooming feeling of knowing im too weird and sensitive to engage in proper fandom.#so i just watch everyone else have a fucking blast and i sit here in my 'i feel way too much way too hard' corner#i want to be able to engage in stuff more. to talk to people more. to ENJOY things more#instead i live in fear every fucking day of what thing is gonna accidentally upset me#and ill have to deal with the mental torment nexus that follows for the next 8 hours#like this cannot be normal. this has to be a thing that can be treated#but i have no money or resources to look into that#i just wish i was normal.#im so tired of making friends while wearing a mask#and realizing i can never take it off because they'll leave as soon as i do#be nice be agreeable be kind you have to you HAVE to or you'll have no one#idk i wanna give up im so tired all the time.#my ideas all feel like shit. all being creative has done is make people drop me and hate me.#im loved until im not what they want they thought i was.#im always needed never wanted.#i keep! trying to find spaces i feel like me in. that i feel GOOD in#and its the same fucking story no matter what. i never do it *right*.#i don't do ships right i don't do trans right i don't do bi right i don't do aro right.#every community has made it clear that im not what they want.#im tired of floating and being lost. what would it matter if i was lost forever that seems to be what the universe wants for me anyway.#im tired of living based on what everyone else wants#I'd rather die finally doing something just for me.#vent
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OH RIGHT. rose. i was thinking about this because jack might be the one person who can actually put into words what was going on between the doctor & rose because he was there, he was in the middle of it. not that the information comes out easily, but he’s less avoidant of saying the words ‘he loved her’ than the doctor is. which. i just think it would be kind of sweet and sad for even to also for the first time actually connect the word to the feeling. that’s love. that’s what that is.
#it’s not that they didn’t. you know. love anyone before. objectively they did.#they just didn’t really connect that that. ‘love’. that’s what that was that made them act that way. that made them feel that way.#that made it hurt so much when they lost someone they were trying to keep with them.#and to understand now that that’s what was between the doctor and rose as well. and the beginning of understanding that. rose Is something#to them as well. (<- not information they know how to handle or what to do with.)#but what im actually saying here is. that because jack is the one who gives them that. because jack is so much built from love and memory.#man who references his ex-boyfriends constantly and fondly. who loves knowing he’ll lose the person he’s choosing now like everyone before.#does it anyway.#what im saying here is that when jack leaves. for whatever amount of time he’s joined up on the tardis taking a break from torchwood i guess#dealing with him and the doctor’s. Thing. as best they can (not very well)#what im saying is that when jack leaves. even pushes themselves into a hug with him and burrows close because they dont want him to leave.#of course they dont. they have like. three friends. and he’s one of them. and he’s leaving.#but this is important and he won’t stay. so they hug him. and they whisper. very very seriously. but softly. like they’re scared someone#will hear or they’ll mess up. they tell him that they love him. and that’s how they say goodbye.#dw oc
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@idont-know-what-im-doing replied to your post “"anyways id survive in that house" sounds like...”:
Those are also true for Duck. Does he look sane to you?
REBUTTAL TO THIS: IM NOT HIM I COULD DO IT!!! also idk man. hes not like,actively going nuts, I don't think. like, if they never leave, he'd be the one least bugged by it yknow? Red's LOSING it, Yellows like,haunted by his not-mom and battery memories and if my lil green guys got none of that going on he's pretty fine I think.
REBUTTAL TO YOUR SECOND COMMENT:
I DONT HAVE ANY REBUTTAL THATS JUST MEAN
#idont-know-what-im-doing#you gotta understand who ur talking to here#im v much a shut in who loves repitition and sameness#im a girl who will not listen to full albums bc if i find one song i like i just put it on loop and leave it#im tha kinda girl who will not try new foods because why would i waste my time eating something if i dont know if id like it#im the kind of girl who IS STILL WEARING CLOTHES FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL BC THEY FIT AND I LIKE THEM#I WOULD SURVIVE AND DARE I SAY THRIVE IN THIS KIND OF ENVIORNMENT#PUT ME IN THAT HOUSE#the only way the other two guys wouldnt like me is if they are normal guys or guys who get annoyed by repitition#OR guys who think im annoying. would never happen tho bc thats nobody.#ON THE SANITY BIT THO I HAVE SEEN. ANALYSIS AND STUFF WHERE PEOPLE SAY ABT DUCK THAT HES LIKE. LOST IT.#and not that i dont agree i just dont see it i guess bc him and yellow are the ones ive got the strongest grip on#they make sense to ME#my postings
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the world is in a disastrous state of affairs when people are supporting a school shooter over the community bc “forgiveness is free” and “are people not allowed to change”
#mylife#I’m so upset rn#like genuinely I’m so frustrated#When those losers supporting him have friends that are startle when a car makes a noise; are nervous around balloons because-#-they will have a panic attack when it pops; when their friends are crying bc they wish they weren’t so scared overreacting for things -#-that aren’t really threats. When someone in their family mourns their friends best friend.#Mass shootings SCHOOL shootings are the kind of trauma that doesn’t just go away#When their friends family and community are the ones fucked up for years to come from a mass tragedy maybe then they’d have a fucking heart#It’s real big to forgive someone when they haven’t wronged you#Forgiveness is a costly thing and it is not something to be diminished for the sake of a school shooter#Think about how much you want a school shooter to have an active platform when the effects of it is so damning and present#The one from my community is locked up but when I’m back home the reminders are Constant#The ribbons are still on nearly every store front#When I go to Walmart or the McDonald’s I think about how my sisters friend escaped to there and that asshole went there himself#Driving past my neighborhood I see where he was apprehended I remember the cop lights and the news vans#Imagine someone that caused all that chaos that will forever leave a wound in your community being praised and lauded and loved#They got to heal when you all didnt#It’s enough of a reminder going to the fucking grocery store why should a shooter have a platform making money off your pain#I’ve lost the plot but TikTok school shooter sends me into a deep and terrible despair every time I have the misfortune of seeing him#Myrambles
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Being involved in anything V2 related makes the "hey girl i mean they" meme hover behind me like a malevolent spirit.
#hi i love complaining all im doing under this tag is complaining if you dont want to read me whine about something dumb stop reading#she/her v2 genuinely drives me up the fucking wall and ive considered leaving fandom spaces because of it many a time#ive also considered wiping women from existence (using one of the trans add ons that replaces pronouns) over it#“robot yuri/yaoi” is also really irritating#not everything has to be yuri/yaoi. i know its supposed to be a silly haha joke but the markets oversaturated and it lost its funny months#ago.#anyway shrimps 5 alotted tags of meanie time are up#i think im gonna refill shit v2 daily's queue and disappear for another week to see if i can chill out (i will not and i know i will not)
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nothing but adoration for myeong-seok and his giles-ass energy. not exactly a father figure not exactly an authority except in a particular context, but the younger protagonists DO see him as a dad figure and they DO defer to him (except when they go haring off on some Quest For Justice or similar scheme and he has to sit there at his desk and out loud say to the empty room why did you even come in to ask me if you were gonna do it anyway?) and while he is, in general, very academic and reserved about things he's not really that far above it all and can be easily convinced to join the chaos, except he does it with this twee little look on his face like aha! what fun! as if he can't quite believe that a) he's included and b) he's doing this 'fun' thing right. his intense legal professionalism is the lens through which he comprehends the world and communicates, and so long as he's within that framework he functions perfectly BUT as soon as you derail him even slightly off this familiar track, he gets super frazzled and flustered and it makes him irritable. in conclusion your honor, he is also autistic but a generation too old to have gotten diagnosed as a child and he has more social skills than the one autistic person he knows so he simply has no idea and probably never will
#he doesnt have a whales so he thinks he's Normal. sorry king you are not and i love you for it . sorry your whales is Being At Work#extraordinary attorney woo#q#actually that's not true he does have another hyperfixation and it's being enemies with that other guy at the office#hes obsessed with one PARTICULAR noodle place and they CANT go to the other noodle place because it's NOT the SAME#he gets owlishly befuddled if people say stuff to him he's not expecting and he either gives in immediately#or bulldozes right past them because it's Not What He Was Expecting and therefore ignorable#anything out of routine for him is so unusual as to be extraordinary and make his acquaintances think something's wrong#he really only seems to have acquaintances and we don't really know what kind of a friend circle he has. or if he has one#most of the people he knows are from work#like. probably most of the friends he had were actually his wife's friends. lost the friend group in the divorce LITERALLY#he shakes hands SO weird#'i'm going to leave now because i'm very embarrassed'#genuinely the only reason he and young-woo ever clash is because they have incompatible autisms
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man idgaf about what treville and richelieu have going on (mostly nothing) (they dont like each other but they work together a lot bc of their jobs.) (i guess treville holding onto a sense of honour whilst working with the cardinal is interesting but like that's not. thats not really those two having something interesting going on). lets talk about the king and the cardinal man.
#the way the king sometimes resents the cardinal's influence but is so easily manipulated to feel lost without it.#the fact that he'll openly acknowledge the cardinal wants him to rule unfairly and play favourites. with a fond look on his face#''i will disband their whole regiment if that's what it takes to make you happy. only please don't leave me alone'' with tears in his eyes#all of which was exactly what the cardinal was going for and he just gets away with it!#the queen finds out he was trying to have her Killed and she says yeah fuck you obvi but i wont tell the king tho bc he loves you ?#i'm not saying any of this is like romantic to be clear lol. it's just very interesting#i mean i dont think it can probably be categorised really. but im definitely not calling it that#it is super interesting though the way the cardinal needs to undermine the queen and place himself closer to the king to succeed in his aim#it would be somewhat appropriate for sure to say its kind of a parent-child relationship in some ways but that's definitely not all of it#in terms of the way the king relies on him and his guidance. but again thats not all of it and he's not a child. or not actually a child.#and i could say this about any of the relationships between men on the show but of course Because they're both men that means the#Possibility of it being anything but fully platonic is not something he can acknowledge and for that reason whether it is or Not there's#still going to be a level of repression and denial that just complicates things. even though/if theres not truly anything to deny#meanwhile honestly i think the cardinal is personally being normal about it even tho he's a freak about a lot of other things#i mean idk that was my impression. i am sorta-watching through s1 again so maybe i'll develop my ideas on that#anyway#me.txt#musketeers posting
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