#something something Ted is more or less the only character that is regressing

[isalabells]

I am very curious why Ted going back to the US to be there for his son is him making the mistakes as his dad and a real tragedy. Or did I read your tags wrong and you didn’t mean it this way?

Anon, I never meant to insinuate that this is him making the same mistakes as his dad, nor do I think my tags suggests that. But it's Ted fearing he is making the same mistake as his dad that is the driving force for his ill-advised decision. (That being said, i've seen the Ted's gonna end up like his dad eventually take flying around here, and while -- even in the face of the final scenes -- this is too horrid and bleak a thought even for me I can't entirely refute it, so there's that.) As for your other question, hoo boi- I recommend going back to the post I reblogged and scrolling through some of the tags because there's a lot of people out there who've articulated it way more eloquently than I am currently capable of, and my answer is nothing but a potpourri of all these thoughts.

But let me ask you in return- Did Ted look happy to you? Did he? Did his constant dissociating throughout the episode and him being emotionally closed off and unresponsive to all the people who love and care for him so deeply, him forcefully shutting them all out so he could be A Good Dad and soldier on and do what must be done because he fears otherwise he will make Henry feel like his Dad made him feel (which in itself is a loaded thought, and I bet Sharon could dismantle it within two sessions) make you feel all warm and fuzzy? Him more or less being pushed into this decision because his mom was guilt tripping him and going through with it bc he is under the misguided impression that he has to break-the-cycle in order to prevent impending doom for Henry (guys pls this isn't Succession).

I know there's a post making rounds where people are being outraged bc how dare anyone say choosing to be a parent is the inferior choice here, why do you want Ted to abandon his child and like- I'm genuinely sorry if you feel that way.

The implication that Ted not living within close proximity to Henry renders him a bad father is just bonkers. Emotional availability and taking care of your kid, being involved in their life is not necessarily tied to local distance at all. In all those three years, Ted hasn't neglected Henry once? Hell, with all the constant facetiming and irregular visits and whatnot he's probably kept more up to date with his kid than a good chunk of parents do despite living under the same roof as their offsprings.

Emphasizing the importance of the nuclear family (one that technically doesn't even exist anymore in Ted's case) and telegraphing that this is the main if not only way to be A Good Father seems like such a shocking conservative and nearsighted move for this show, and, pardon me, a very US-American one as well. All of this seems quite tone deaf, but it wouldn't be the first time this season (maybe one day @hubba1892 will bless us all with the essay on TL taking a stand on defying Super League and pushing for 50+1 rule vs. City being a major advertising factor for the show.)

Obiously, this is strongly influenced by me being a firm believer that parenthood shouldn't swallow your whole identity. Playing at pretend happy family and, as someone else put it so nicely, sacrificing your happiness for the sake of your kid is not healthy, and it will gain your kid nothing in the end. Ted seeing himself as nothing but a vessel to fix other people's lives and help them become the best version of themselves only to remove himself from the situation, nay, the entire story (literally and metaphorically, cf him suggesting Trent change the title) once the job is done without a thought or care for his own wants and needs, let alone his happiness is just so deeply saddening. "But the second to last ep showed that they're all gonna be fine without him!!" Yes, that's exactly the point, he should stay because the wants to, not because they need him.

Now Ted 'ain't nobody in this room alone' Lasso is quite literally all alone in the big vast room that is Kansas, with his main people being Henry (a literal child), Michelle and his mom, two people who both make him fucking miserable. A less pointed take would be that he doesn't even have to stay at Richmond specifically. The opportunities that he now has at his disposal in the UK bc of his success story are endless; lots of possibilities for him to continue doing what he loves without being stuck in the depression show that is coaching little league for funsies, quenching all of his wants and needs and dreams and aspiration.

[lunar-years]

Okay. Let's talk Jamie and Roy getting beers and being idiots.

I know we are all still processing that whirlwind of a finale. I'm understanding that a lot of people hate the Roy & Jamie scene because it is 1) backslide-y (true) 2) they treat Keeley like a prize to be won (true) and 3) it's OOC (I actually disagree with this one, but I can understand why it's complicated). I want to start off by saying I completely see where this opinion is coming from and I respect everyone who just hates the scene because it shows normally kind characters being very unkind to each other etc. This is less me arguing against that as it is me trying to articulate (at great length, sorry) why it not only worked for me, but I genuinely liked it.

I like to think I strike a balance between loving everything the show has done and hating overwhelmingly on a show I claim to enjoy, but sure, you could definitely argue that I'm just giving my favorite characters the benefit of the doubt, or making excuses for them, because they're my favorite characters. I'll admit I'm historically very forgiving of all the main characters' many fuck-ups on Ted Lasso, but that's because I think the show works best when it emphasizes how kindness, forgiveness, friendship and love can still operate between imperfect, flawed people. I like seeing them make realistic mistakes much more than I like everyone handling everything perfectly, I'll bite.

So, back to Jamie and Roy. I enjoyed their finale plot because despite them making a world of mistakes, the regression felt very, very human. I don't agree at all with the take that this somehow erased all the progress they've made this season or the friendship the show has lovingly crafted between them. In fact, I think this actively reiterated it! (Note: I am operating with my ot3 goggles on at all times, so I'm going to write this with that at least partially in mind, but I think the gist of it works even if you ignore the bits that get a little shippy.)

For both Jamie and Roy, Keeley and their love for her is a major beacon guiding them. I think that is the crisp, clear thing in both of their heads this episode: Keeley is the love of my life. And they both believe that wholeheartedly, and they both want to be with her. (and it's goofy to pretend this came out of nowhere for Jamie/since when is Jamie still in love with her/etc. because he literally told her and us this last season and nothing that has happened since has indicated otherwise, btw.) But there's also something else now, which is their relationship with each other, battling with their Keeley thoughts. It's like, in Roy's head, for instance, I imagine there are two wolves: on the one hand he loves Keeley, and wants to be with her, and plans to win back her heart. On the other hand, there's his love and care for Jamie Tartt, which is much less defined and inarticulate and maybe still a little repressed, but just as overpowering. His love for Keeley feels so simple and clear in comparison, while his love for Jamie is something complicated and unsure, and in this episode, he's leaning hard into the first to avoid unpacking the second.

So Roy starts off strong. He sees Jamie with Keeley in the hallway and he doesn't flip out!! Instead, he approaches Jamie calmly, and invites him out for beers. Think about how different this is from his reaction to Jamie's love confession to Keeley in season 2. This is Roy's growth in action, and it's a resounding sign of just how important Jamie is to Roy now. Even when he is feeling jealous of the woman he loves potentially leaving him behind for a man he loves (a completely natural reaction, let's be so real, if not a "good" one), he also knows that for as much as he wants to be with Keeley, he doesn't want to lose his friendship with Jamie.

As for Jamie, I know some people took his reaction and subsequent response to Nate's question as like, shock at the realization that he and Roy are actually friends now, which I agree is something that had to have come earlier in the timeline (what was Mom City if not that) and would seem very out of place at this point. What I saw it as instead was Jamie's brain more just. sort of short-circuiting? Because: holy shit isn't this the best day ever? First Keeley agreed to go to Brazil with me and now Roy is asking me on a date for beers? this is so sound. This invite is out of place behavior from Roy even within the parameters of their friendship, because they still have a match to win and Roy has banned Jamie from beers as part of his training and despite them being close now I find it hard to believe that Roy often comes up to him right there in dressing room to ask him to grab a beer with no pretense.

Therefore, they're already walking into that bar in completely different head-spaces. Jamie isn't planning to discuss Keeley, and for Roy that is his major intention behind the evening. Jamie is nervous and downing his beer, and Roy is internally panicking, I'm imagining, over when and how to bring Keeley up. I think Roy is thinking: Well, I don't intend to stop pursuing Keeley, I genuinely don't want Jamie's feelings to be hurt when I get back together with her (and yes, it is a huge presumption for him to assume Keeley's going to eventually take him back. But I think it's also an understandable one), so I've got to tell Jamie I care about him, and that I'm going to keep going after Keeley, and he needs to be okay with that so that this won't get in the way of our friendship, which I also desperately need and am unwilling to give up. In his mind, Jamie is of course going to accept all of this, because Roy and Keeley are soulmates, which Jamie will clearly recognize deep down because it is so obvious and right and anyway, Jamie always does what Roy tells him to do (again, this is all misguided thinking. But we can see how Roy's anxious little brain that's bad at processing feelings and holding space for emotions could get himself here, can't we?).

So again, we start off strong with Roy saying he's proud of Jamie and them both thanking one another. But then Roy's blurting out nonsense about how Jamie just needs to pull himself out of the running and just let Roy be with Keeley. Which is obviously not on. And Jamie responds, simply, with No. I'd argue this is also a huge step for Jamie. Jamie really doesn't tell Roy no anymore, he doesn't tell anyone no. Jamie has spent so much of his time since coming back to Richmond working to be the person everyone around him wants and expects him to be. This is him fighting for something he wants for once, doing what is best for him. It was a fabulous progression to see. In the moment, boy does it work Roy up, because why is Jamie not agreeing with me, Jamie always agrees with me? but obviously at this point, Jamie is in the right. His relationship with Keeley was no less meaningful than Roy's just because Roy says it was, Roy doesn't have any claim on her, and there's no real reason Jamie should not try and shoot his shot with Keeley if Roy is going to do the same.

Here's where things start to spiral. Established flaws we know about Roy: he's competitive. He's bad at voicing his feelings productively. And he is territorial about the people he loves, a category that safely includes both Jamie and Keeley at this point in time, for better and sometimes worse. Yes, his next actions are grossly possessive over Keeley, yes Roy has made a lot of effort over the past year to do and be better than that, to break free of that cycle. But look, it's not a linear process. He's going to still mess up, and he does here. In fact he's downright mean, weaponizing Keeley against Jamie and throwing having sex with Keeley a month ago into Jamie's face, bragging about it, boasting. Same old cycle, same old patterns of ego-driven, prideful mistakes.

Which promptly prompts Jamie to also fuck up by bringing up the leak. It's a concentrated response intended to get a suitable rise out of Roy, because Roy has really, genuinely hurt him here, and Jamie knows bringing up that video is the one thing that will hurt Roy just as much in turn. It's not the right thing to do, obviously, but again, it's such a human thing to do. Hurt the person who's hurt you right back, even if you're hurting someone else (Keeley) by extension. Mind you, Jamie came here expecting a hangout (/date) with Roy over a rare beer, and instead he got Roy being a complete asshole and lecturing nonsense at him out of seemingly nowhere. He reacts to this change-up, well, not greatly. There is something so messy and emotionally complicated happening here and it hinges on how very much Jamie and Roy care about each other, not negates it.

Keeley, queen that she is, rejects them both out of hand and kicks them out not the curb immediately because they're both being complete idiots, acting like they're so gracious in giving her the honor and privilege of choosing between them. Not to mention they've clearly got something going on between them they haven't worked through and that sure as shit isn't her problem, is it? Keeley (presumably, and I wish we had seen this) calls them out their shit and tosses them right back out the door.

Which leaves Jamie and Roy to lament how they've let their egos get away from them, they've been idiots (which they acknowledge immediately) and decide that now they should go for kebabs, presumably to actually hangout this time, not to interrupt themselves with inflated talk about who "deserves" Keeley more. They both screwed up, they acknowledge it, and all they can do is try again tomorrow, and in the meantime, go on that kebab date.

I guess....I can just see where both of them are coming from? it's not mature behavior, obviously, it's maybe not what we would have liked to have seen from them in the finale episode of the show. But it was regression that I didn't feel impeded their overall progress. Roy in particular was being a complete dick about it, but that's why the very next morning he's finally knocking on the Diamond Dogs' door. And honestly, that conversation was heartbreaking. When Roy admitted he'd expected, after a year of putting in the work, to be a whole new person...god. This is a man who still completely hates himself, to the point where he can't quite grasp that he can be better where he's at now, that he doesn't have to transform magically into someone new in order to do right by himself and others. And so he has to consciously determine, once again, to do better, be better.

The message is: change isn't linear, you're going to fuck-up, and fall back into old patterns. What matters is trying every day to do better together, and be better for one another, than you were the day before. That is the meeting point all three sides of the royjamiekeeley triangle were heading towards by the end of the episode.

So yes, it was rushed, because no one gets much screen time in a finale (and the overarching issue with this season anyway is god awful pacing. The last three episodes could've easily been the second half of the season, while the first half of the season was stretched out and largely extraneous). And yes, I would've liked a more thoughtful follow-up conversation between Roy and Keeley or all three of them. My biggest issue was that we didn't get to hear Keeley's voice hardly at all. I would at the very least have liked to have seen her setting them straight at her kitchen table, because turning both of them down signifies very important growth in her, too, and I would've liked exploring that more explicitly. So it wasn't perfect. But I still liked it, I really did.

[itsclydebitches]

I'm preparing myself for the personal disappointment of Ted going back home to Kansas (even though I don't believe that's his home anymore) and that Trent will see him off in a ruby slippers shirt, especially since Lance has worn one before and we now know a lot of Trent's shirts are coming from his closet:

But in writing another meta I've been thinking a lot about Ted Lasso's clothing, particularly how it is used to connect with others and showcase growth. Sometimes that attempt is a failure and the growth is a detriment to the character, such as Nate trying to copy Roy's all black suit, and sometimes it's a success and the growth is something to celebrate, like Roy finding a compromise between his and Phoebe's tastes with his dark-colored, tie-die t-shirt. Beyond the issue that I don't want Ted to go back to Kansas at all (not unless the intention is to have him realize that Richmond is his true home now), a Dorothy shirt would fall flat for me because there's no in-universe connection to Ted. We as the audience understand the allusion because we've been picking up on hints since Season 1: Ted makes a quip about not being in Kansas anymore, he holds high scores on a Wizard of Oz pinball machine, he's surrounded by other allusions such as an emotionless man in need of a heart (Roy), a scared lion who rejects being a panda (Rebecca), and the comedic, presumed idiot who does in fact have a brain (Jamie). But all of that exists on an analytical level. In-world, Ted hasn't identified with Dorothy and what few connections there are -- such as that acknowledgement that he feels out of his depth in a new world -- are no longer accurate three seasons later, after a hell of a lot of growth. Unlike the suit and the shirts that exist overtly on screen as a way to say, "These characters are sharing a connection," Trent talking to Ted in a Dorothy shirt would feel too removed from textual!Ted and textual!Trent to have the same impact. This shirt totally sums up his story!... provided you've done the work to interpret all the easily missed hints and ignored the ways in which a Wizard of Oz ending would (imo) be a regression for Ted.

With an acknowledgment that I'm playing with all this through the assumption that Trent's shirt will have something to do with Ted, rather than us just getting an Overtly Queer shirt to show that Trent has fully embraced who he is, I've been hemming and hawing over what I'd give him instead. In some ways, Ted is notable for his lack of distinct fashion. He wears Richmond gear 70% of the time and the rest is plain colored long-sleeved shirts and collared shirts with polos. It's a distinctly Ted look to be sure (passionate and athletic vs. soft, comfortable, and mildly professional while still feeling approachable), but there's less material to work with than, say, Keeley's vibrate, quirky wardrobe; or Rebecca's preference towards outfits that emphasize her power as a kind of shield: wealth, beauty, her height; or -- of course -- Trent's move from buttoned-up journalist to queer bracelet, queer mug, queer style icon t-shirts. I can't think of anything Trent could wear off the top of my head that would a) be within his "vibe" and b) scream "I'M DECLARING MY SUPPORT AND/OR ROMANTIC LOVE FOR TED FUCKING LASSO."

Except, of course, for a "BELIEVE" shirt.

While I love and fully agree with Ted's speech about how belief needs to come from within and, thus, their sign is not actually necessary, a part of me is still disappointed that "BELIEVE" is no longer a visual part of the club. I'd be more willing to accept letting it go if we hadn't seen that Ted himself still relies on those visual reminders. Not only does he choose to put the sign up in the first place rather than simply telling the boys to believe in themselves, but back when Nate was doubting their chances in Ted's apartment, Ted sprints to his bathroom to retrieve one of mini signs he, obviously, keeps on hand and presumably sees every morning, soon as he gets up. It's important to him, not just the message, but the physicality of the reminder itself, so I've been expecting/hoping for the message to return in a new form by the end of the season.

Granted, that little moment was a while ago and it's possible that the writers didn't realize the implications it would have when Ted later ripped up the sign. However, another reason why I don't think my expectation is completely hopeless is because of the Season 3 promo, wherein all the Richmond family make their own BELIEVE signs. Forgetting a small gag back in Season 1 or 2 is understandable, but the promotion for the latest season? Why in the world would our advertising emphasize -- and celebrate! -- all the characters creating signs of their own if the message was meant to be, "Let the sign go. It's no longer needed"?

We didn't get this scene in the show proper, but it still speaks volumes that they filmed a moment where every character puts their own spin on the BELIEVE sign, using it to highlight their personality. Then, we end with a shot of Ted's touched approval as he talks about feeling seen.

Chronologically, Trent would have been around for all this. There's no need for the team to make their own signs until they realize the original has been torn and, obviously, Trent had become a part of the family by then. He's the one who discovered how the sign was torn in the first place. So if we read the promo as canonical, even if it didn't end up in an episode, why wouldn't Trent have joined in with everyone else? Thing is, he doesn't have a locker to hang a sign on, or even an office to put it in, and given that he's worn the same two bracelets and consistently used the same mug, there's really only one way that Trent shows his personality:

Shirts.

Some of which are notably brightly colored with blocky text referencing American-style learning.

I don't want Trent to walk into the finale with a Dorothy shirt whose importance only exists on a subtexual level and heralds Ted leaving the actual home he's worked to build. I want Trent to strut out in a bright yellow shirt with BELIEVE across the front, announcing to the world that, yes, he believes in the Lasso Way. Give me the implication that he had this made when everyone was personalizing their signs. Give me a fully confident "dork" who's willing to excitedly proclaim his love and support without fear of censor. Give me a BELIEVE reminder that's now tailored to the individual and can be worn or safely tucked away as needed. Give me the possibility (because it's not gonna be canon😭) that Trent is in love with Ted and he's going to display that in the most overt but-not-actually-saying-it way possible.

He sees Ted and he loves what he sees.

Dorothy and her allusion don't exist in the textual show proper and they're definitely not connected to Trent's relationship with Ted. What is though? The very first words Trent said about Ted that weren't an insult, accusation, snide remark, or disbelieving question:

"I can't help but root for him."

What better way to take Trent full circle than to let him literally wear his heart on his sleeve, shouting in bright colors and with a noticeable vibe that yes, he does believe in Ted Lasso.

[51kas81]

Rupert Mannion comes up as “The Devil” in his ex-wife’s phone. Really, can you blame her? The guy dumped her, claimed he didn’t want children, and then married another woman with the same name … and then had a daughter. But Ted Lasso’s third season made the case for just how inherently villainous Rupert was capable of being, beyond vacationing with his “dear friends” the Sacklers. He’s hit by unsavory allegations of sexual impropriety, has no issue continuing his cheating ways behind closed doors, and then, in the finale, shoves his team’s coach to the ground when he refuses to play dirty on the pitch — losing his precious West Ham United in the aftermath. It’s all so diabolical, his name might as well be Rupert Minion.

Anthony Head, who was “scared of being a spoiler” throughout the season, thinks it’s a hoot that Rupert was Ted Lasso’s only character to regress back to his old ways. He’s also pleased that viewers got to see a little bit more humanity in Rupert at certain points in the narrative, which made his 360-degree turn back all the more satisfying. “A lot of us are very insecure,” Head explains. “So it’s such fun being able to play someone else who isn’t.”

I know we have more important matters to discuss, but can we start with Rupert’s Darth Vader–esque coat? It exuded authority and you looked fabulous in it.

Well, thank you. At the end of season two, when Rupert gets Nate onto his side, Jason Sudeikis whispered into my ear that there was something similar to the Emperor and Darth Vader, and how the Emperor brought Darth Vader onboard. I then whispered that same thing into Nick Mohammed’s ear. Wearing a coat like that is wonderful. When you walk away, you know you’re flowing and have a cloak behind you. It was a fun little twist to put in there.

Your character ends Ted Lasso as the sole villain who doesn’t get a redemption. This is a pretty pointed narrative decision, since the show made great effort to transform the behaviors of a lot of unlikeable people. Are you happy with this outcome?

Yes, I am. I loved episode ten, the Super League scene, where the whole thing with Rupert and Rebecca happens. You can see part of the younger Rupert, how they fell in love, and the relationship they had. What I found fascinating about the whole deal was, for me, it was about playing someone with a heart and soul who sometimes might get viewers to manifest into thinking he might work out. But then, no. Let’s have a spinoff series.

What does this man’s heart and soul look like?

He’s a narcissist. Jason and I were talking about how there are elements of him being a sociopath. It’s like everything in the show: It’s based on how characters have grown and have been built. It may have been his childhood or his teenage years. When I got the part, I decided to make Rupert an entrepreneur who had money early on, probably from the telecommunications boom in the ’80s and ’90s. It made him into a rich man, but not somebody who was necessarily productive. He’s very good at seeing things and making people feel enriched.

It seemed like Rupert was heading toward a good light in the final few episodes, but then he implodes in such spectacular fashion during that final Richmond game. How did you want to approach this loss of control so it didn’t seem unbelievable?

I played it with the feeling of being displaced. His sexual behavior, which he always thought he could get away with, was suddenly in the light. It was a very clever piece of writing that Miss Kakes and Bex, his wife, come together and go to Rebecca. People like Rupert, thankfully, are less and less these days, but they still get away with a lot of stuff. I wanted to play it like he finally realized he wasn’t going to get away with it. That’s the core: He’s lost it and he doesn’t know how he’s going to be able to pull it back together.

There was a quote earlier in the season from Rebecca that has stuck with me: “Rupert always gets what he wants.” We’ve primarily seen that in a material sense, both what he owns and his choice in trophy wives. But how do you think that applies to a level of fulfillment? What does he want out of life itself?

There are a lot of people out there who think about others, How could you do that? Why would you do that? How is that going to be good for anyone? But they believe the world revolves around them. If he wants Miss Kakes, he’ll get Miss Kakes. He’s bored with Bex because she’s dealing with his [daughter] now. It’s hard to say what he wants, because he just wants to win. He thinks that winning Nate over is giving him a flashy car and giving him a beautiful woman to have an affair with. He doesn’t really think twice about anything. He just assumes he’s right.

The whole thing with narcissism is until a narcissist actually owns it, they don’t know who they are. It’s a mental journey. The whole show is about the way that we’re all becoming who we are. We shouldn’t be scared of building and learning. That’s what makes life. But someone like Rupert isn’t going to go through that. He’ll probably feel like he’s been prosecuted and singled out. He’ll say Miss Kakes came on to him.

Are you of the opinion that he never fell out of love with Rebecca?

There’s probably a little bit of love lurking. But it goes back to him wanting to have power. I don’t think he ever thought to himself, Oh, I wish I had Rebecca back. But perhaps he thought he could win her back one day if he needed to.

I had a nice conversation with Nick last week, and he told me about the discussions he had with Jason about the direction of his character over the course of this season. Did you also feel it was necessary to get further reasoning from the writers about Rupert’s behavior?

It’s not necessary for me. You play what you feel. A number of people were always on set, and if they had an idea, they would come out and say, “Well, what about this?” Jason would throw in all of these nuances and explain where a line would come from, because some lines had come from a place of authenticity in his life. I didn’t feel like, Oh, I need to talk this over. If someone wanted to, I was very happy to do so. I remember several years ago I went to an acting school in Los Angeles called Beverly Hills Playhouse. The teacher’s whole ethos was: The words will take care of themselves. Just play the emotions. Try them out in the air. When you get a whisper in your ear, “Why don’t you try it?” you should respond, “Okay.” If you leave yourself open to that, it doesn’t restrict you in any way.

Nick’s journey was more specific and potentially more complex. I can understand why he wanted to know further details. But with Rupert, the course was cleverly set. Him dropping out of sight was essential. You kept thinking to yourself, Where’s Rupert? Sometimes you feel things are played on-camera so the audience can see it all. But here, it didn’t all play on-camera. Not all is said. The show asks us to have a thought about that.

The last time we see Rupert is him being taunted by a “wanker” crowd chant as he leaves the pitch —

The American word is “jerk,” isn’t it? But it’s not as powerful as “wanker.”

And a newspaper headline a few days later confirms he was ousted at the club. What would’ve been your ideal ending for him if this wasn’t it?

I thought he might go down for fraud. Something that would undermine the core of his business. Because there has been a bit of that. People who have lots of money can be pulled to that sort of thing.

[ocular-intercourse]

@mangosandchili and number 3, teddy

🌲 What is the kindest thing your OC has ever done for someone? What is the kindest thing someone has ever done for them? On the flip side, what is the worst thing your OC has done to another person?

This question is hard to answer for Teddy for exactly the opposite reason that I had for Ace. Cause his base mode is being kind, oozing kindness all over the place to people deserving and undeserving, so it’s hard to pick something that stands out. The kindest thing he has done is probably allowing his brother to profit from his life experiences, writing books ‘about’ him, without getting anything from it. The kindest thing someone has done for him was his father’s wife accepting him into their family, raising him, though he was not her child. He is still very much in awe by her doing that. The worst thing he has done to people probably depends on who you ask or what you consider bad. Maybe it’s making his family worry that one time he tried to run away while they were on vacation. He has a homophobic grandmother he cut out of his life, she most definitely thinks he did something cruel to her, both by being gay, non-christian and avoiding her, telling her she is the bad one?? He himself would probably answer that killing someone, even in self-defense, was the worst thing he ever did. You can’t convince him otherwise.

🌳 What does your OC do when they see others upset or in pain? An upset friend? A stranger?

He is another one of those who will always help as best he can. With him that even extends to people he actively dislikes. He can’t help it. Ted is the emotional sponge of his friend group, the go-to for non-official therapy, he overextends himself and let’s people step over his boundaries more often than he should. To him seeing somebody else suffer feels very much like he’s suffering himself, he’s hyper empathic in some ways, so helping them feels like helping himself, cause he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it till it’s solved anyways.

🌿 What is something true about your OC that they refuse to admit about themselves? Is there any reason to this besides embarrassment?

It’s probably a form of refusing to admit it, more like refusing to see it, not actively I might add. If you’d ask people around him to put down some words to describe him and ask teddy to do the same, there’s one word that would appear a bunch of times on their list but never on his, it would be bossy. In his mind he’s this gentle submissive guy that more often than not gets walked over by others and pushed around.. it’s not really true though. Not always at least. It’s probably him trying to steer against not being taken seriously. He has no problem speaking out, putting his opinion out there, letting people know what he needs.. He would absolutely be embarrassed about being considered bossy, cause it fits into his self-image so little.

🍃 Describe a regular day for your OC. What is their schedule (if they have one).          

He’s not a schedule kind of guy, more of a head-in-the-clouds let’s see what happens today kind of person. The only strict routine he has is about eating, as a tool of keeping tabs on his eating disorder. He’ll also try and spend as much time as he gets in nature or at least surrounded by plants, alternatively animals. There’s a massive greenhouse on the academy grounds and him and his siblings take care of the plants, if you ever try to find him it’s probably there. Before the attack you might have gone looking for him in the woods, but he’s been avoiding them ever since.

🍁 What is your OC’s most traumatic experience? (If they don’t have just one traumatic experience either pick one or describe them all!)

There’s some that come to mind. I have talked about the academy attack before, and how he had to fight and unwillingly kill. It’s definitely something he’s struggling with, especially since there’s not really a way to deal with it, in the real world, and not really a support system of sorts at the academy. The students are more or less left to deal with the aftermath alone, some guidance maybe from the teachers, but they are not equipped to handle something like that.

Another one is when it was revealed to him that he is a demi-god and his mother is not his biological mother. His whole world view turned upside down, he felt like a stranger in his family and like a constant source of pain for his mother. That’s when he tried to run away, since he was not one of them anyways, why not spare them the trouble of having him around. That’s part of what lead to him developing the eating disorder. He felt like he had no control over anything, but he could at least control very strictly what he ate and when he ate and that mostly made him forbid himself from eating entirely, for as long as he could get himself to, then binging, purging, repeating. His parents picked up on that quite fast and got him help though, but it’s still something that resurfaces a bit when he feels like things are out of control.

Something else that happened when he was absolutely too young for it, maybe 15, being the gay kid in school and bullied for it, getting the attention from one of his friend’s older brothers, starting to hang around with his friend group, going to parties, doing drugs, all under the cover of being accepted there and wanting to belong and seem cool, waking up drugged in positions he did not want to be in, touched by people he did not know, all somewhat orchestrated or at least permitted, tolerated, by said older brother. He got the fuck out of there before anything too bad could happen (as far as he remembers) and is very very thankful for having been lucky, conscious and responsive enough to be able to pull the breaks and protect himself. But it definitely put a spin on his ability to trust people for a long time, and made it hard for a while to come to terms with his identity cause if the only other interaction you had with gay people was /that/ it does not exactly make you want to belong to the community.

🍄 How would your OC react to the death of a friend/family member/loved one? Is there anyone they can confide in?

He would definitely be devastated. But he also has a very good support system, a lot of people around to catch him and lead him through his grief. It’s not out of the ordinary, something that happens to people in life, that is painful, but part of it. He tries to see it kinda holistically, it’s just part of the universe, neither good nor bad, and tries to focus on the joy of having known a person rather than the pain of losing them. He also holds on to the hope of seeing them again.

🌾 What would your OC be like if they were evil. Or if they’re already evil what would they be like as the good guy?

Evil Teddy is cliché eco-terrorist. If people have to die so the planet can survive then it’s justified to let them die, or even our mission to kill them ourselves. Picture James Bond villain Teddy. Bad guy with flair and ideals and a bigger picture plan.

💐 How would your OC react to somebody telling them that they love them? (+ bonus give another characters/OC name!)

Teddy is in love with love, romantically, platonically, he does not care, he loves people and he lets them know, constantly, which mostly inspires people to respond often. So it’s not irregular for him to hear his friends and family telling him that they love him. With Zeke that a whole other thing. Hearing it would make him extremely happy, cause he wants to be loves by Zeke. But since he tends to not show it in actions I think Teddy would, in the worst phases of this behavior, just react bitterly to being told ‘I love you’. Cause he just wouldn’t believe it. It would make it angry, even. If you love me than show it goddamit, what the fuck am I supposed to do with some hollow words..

🌷 What does your OC hate about themself? What lies about themself do they believe? On the flip side, What does your OC love about themself?

Teddy has been on a long journey of self-acceptance ever since he was litte. From learning to deal with his ancestry, to being bullied practically everywhere, to this very shitty introduction to dating, if you want to call it that, hating himself for being different. But he has always had his family and friends who helped him see what was right and what were wrong assumptions, he always had help working through his issues. He went to therapy early, since he developed his eating disorder. He just always had a really really good safety net, that made it possible for him to look at his problems and deal with them head-on. He loves himself; he loves that he is kind and gentle and loving and, well, good. There is honestly not a lot about himself that he would straight up hate. Maybe some things he’d like to change, but he always tries to see the positives even in them. What he definitely does hate though, is that his experience with Zeke is kinda starting to make him doubt again, to have to hide parts of himself that he fought very hard to be proud for. He hates that he let himself get caught in this regressive mindset, straight back to his insecure teens, all because he can’t stop himself from feeling these things for this boy who is not ready for them at all. He’s not entirely sure if he should be mad at himself, at Zeke or at the universe for this unfortunate timing. But that’s all part of the one thing he’d like to change about himself the most, being able to face injustices, especially those directed at himself, a little better. They often just make him hopeless and unable to act cause he does not know what to do, so he just does nothing instead.

🥀 What is something your OC blames themselves for and is it really their fault? Does it keep them up at night and is there any lingering trauma?

Mhmmm, again I think Teddy is not really the person to dwell on these negative things, at least not in regards to him. Like, yeah, he can’t quite deal with having killed a guy, he wished it would not have happened, but he can also see that in that situation there was not a lot of other things he could have done, it was a reaction, he did not mean to do it, but that was a bad guy that very much wanted to kill him and others, so he can see that is was justified somehow. So he suffers, for having done that, but he does not blame himself all that much, personally, cause it was out of his control. Maybe you will find him thinking about what could have gone differently here and there, but those moments are rare, cause he can’t do anything about it anyways. Things he feels guilty about are mostly related to his family, feeling like he burdened them with things one way or another. He can’t quite 100 % believe his mother really accepts him as hers, no hard feelings for his dad’s affair or one-night-stand or whatever, he feels bad about being a reminder of that, he feels undeserving of her love. He feels guilty about worrying others.

🌺 In what situation would your OC be pushed to commit an act of violence? Would they go as far to kill someone if they had to? How would this affect them and their relationships with others?

The answer is usually never. If you would put him in that same situation again, where he’s surrounded by bad guys and he just tries to keep them from being able to hurt anyone and one of them happens to die during that.. that’s not really something he chose to do. If he had known that it would happen he might have not intervened in the same way. He is a pacifist first, always. The attack made him reevaluate some things though, like the necessity of learning how to fight, if only to be able to act more controlled the next time, truly keeping everybody on both sides from dying unnecessarily. He’s the kind of person that wants to believe that everything can be solved by conversations, so he’d never see killing people as a solution. He would kill only if forced to, not by somebody holding a gun to his head and making him do it, but in a situation where the result of the other person not dying would be something he couldn’t live with.

Having killed somebody definitely made Teddy retreat a bit, he hardened a little, did not want people to see him go through that, be a different him. Eventually he did allow himself to share about it more, the easiest with his ex-nemesis who had been there when it happened and who went through the same shit.

Oh, actually, he is a bit more loose about physical violence that won’t leave permanent damage. He’d surprise people with it but he’d absolutely deck a guy in the face if he was being harmful to others.

🌸 What would your OC do if they were given god-like powers or the ability to change anything about the world for a whole day?

Teddy would try and figure out the best way to help as many people in the long run as possible. He would probably come to the conclusion that it would help if you made people understand other people’s struggles and experiences. Maybe a bit of a just dessert kind of solution. He’d put powerful assholes in the shoes of the people they suppress, hoping to make them understand even after that day and maybe change their stances, be nicer.

🌼 Describe one of your OC’s worst nightmares.

Losing hope in the world, in the inherent goodness that he believes in. He’s seen many people, even optimistic ones, become cynical and hopeless considering the state of things. And he understands their reactions, they are probably justified. But he himself just does not want to lose hope, he always wants to believe that people are good and the world is good, and things will end well. But understanding why others become pessimists is just one step too close to following in their footsteps. He refuses to let that happen, he wants to at least, but he is a little scared of failing to keep it up indefinitely, of being proven wrong.

🌻 What advice would your OC give to their younger self? What advice does your OC need now?

Be yourself always. If you feel bad about something it’s probably the right feeling to have. Trust your instincts. Only you can know what’s right for you, the opinions of others might sound nice but that does not make them true. Right now he could probably be reminded that there is strength in kindness and that the cost of it is worth it, always. Also somebody tell him to dump Zeke.

[adozentothedawn]

Saint Waidwen The Musical The Justification

This is an explanation for something I wrote in this fanfiction. Go read it maybe if you haven’t? :) But if you don’t have the time or interest, the relevant thing for this is that I mention a controversial musical adaption of the story of Saint Waidwen in Readceras.

Yeah, so first of all, I just really wanted this to be a thing because musicals about weird things are just my jam. I can however justify why this could totally be a thing! I’m aware that I don’t have to, but I just really want to write this, so I will. Now sit down and listen.

(Also you might know a lot of these things already, but I don’t know what they teach in your countries so I’ll just explain the basics.)

Let’s start off with why anyone would ever do this anyway. 

First of all, people make musicals about weird shit all the time in reality, so why not in Eora. Like look at Les Mis. Does that scream “musical” to you? And, yet it’s pretty cool! 

Second of all, Art moves in cycles. To explain this, I’ll use german literature, because that’s what I learnt in school and therefore know a few things about. Let’s begin at the era of the “Aufklärung” (enlightenment I guess? It’s an era of literature from about 1720 to 1790. Note also that eras can’t be distinctly seperated, they do go on simultaniously for a while). This was the time of logic and reason first and foremost. Art had to be practical, without actually having to serve a purpose. So after a while of this going on, there were a bunch of young people who decided, fuck that. We want emotion to be important again! Among those people were for example Ghoete and Schiller, two names you might know, because they’re kind of famous. So there were these young men (and they were almost exclusively men unfortunately) who started writing plays and poems which are based on extreme emotion and the idea of the natural genius (genius is a relative term here, the characters were still kinda dumb, but they were very poetic about it), instead of sticking nicely to the idea of reason. This era is called “Sturm und Drang” (roughly: storm and urge, these are really hard to translate. Also they’re names, so they’re not really supposed to be translated anyway). Now these young people weren’t young forever though, so they grew up at some point (or died, but you get the point). Both Goethe and Schiller decided at some point that that stuff they wrote was kinda cringy and started writing other things, more focused on harmony, beauty and (as in the Aufklärung) tolerance, as opposed to the more forceful and often tragic Sturm und Drang. This was then called the “Weimarer Klassik” (Weimar being the cultural centre of germany at the time and Klassik as in classic). And then after a while, a new generation of young people decided that that was dumb and started someting called the “Romantik” (romance, not necessarily as in love, but more as in romantifying things). In this time, people wrote about magic, myths and fairy tales, the less realism the better. So you see what’s happening here. One generation says: This is great! The next one says: Fuck that, I’ll make it as different as I can. That generation grows up and decides: eh, maybe let’s tune it down a bit. Then the next generation comes and says: Fuck no! again. Of course there are always some that stick to their style, but that’s the general idea.

Now, how does that apply to my musical idea? For that let’s look at Readceras for minute. Readceras was founded by a bunch of farmers, though there was a tiny elite, as we know because Waidwen managed to win some of them over, most people were pretty poor. Poor people usually don’t have the time or recourses for literature or painting, with music, especially singing, being the most accessable form of art. That’s not to say that farmers don’t make art, weaving and the painting of furniture was a thing for example, but the poorer the people, the less they have to use, even when it’s winter and they’d have time, and Readceras was just pisspoor. Singing doesn’t really need anything, and instruments are reusable if they somehow managed to get one. So chances are, Waidwen and his generation grew up with music as their main form of art. Then the Godhammer happened, which sucked big time for them, and they probably wanted to distance themselves as much as possible from the time before Waidwen and idealize him, which in all likelihood lead to art changing a lot as well. 

Because here’s the thing, art doesn’t just move in cycles, it is also heavily influenced be societal and political happenings (but you probably knew that). For example: the literature era that followed (roughly, it began a bit before the other one ended) the Romatik was the “Biedermaier” (which is a surname and not translatable, you might now it from a furniture style though, that’s pretty big in Austria, not sure how it is where you live), which is a style that was heavily aimed inwards. It was mostly, look how happy my little family is, everything is great, nothing is happening, nothing at all, and could be mostly described as idyllic and quiant. That was, because it was a time of political regression, with the empire getting more authoritarian again and literature being heavily censored. So when Waidwen took the throne art probably already started changing, though he likely didn’t notice much of that as he was kind of busy being king and GOD, and with another traumatic event it would’ve changed even more. So it’s completely feasible that 20 years later the youth would decide to fuck all of that over and go back to find their roots, while changing what they find to fit their style. Admittedly the existance of elves mucks up the timeline a bit, but since the largest group of people there are human anyway, I’ll ignore that. Also, in context with the fanifc I’m writing this for, the timeline is helped by the fact that my Watcher is an Eothas priestess. Might sound weird, but hear me out. Favaen came to the Dyrwood as a missionary, and though she got sidetracked a bit, that was still her end goal. So after everything was over and she was well established as Taynu of Caed Nua, she made it into a sanctuary for Eothasians started to spread the faith there again. Of course she didn’t achieve too much in 5 years, but she set a trend. With Adaryc spreading word about her in Readceras, that would’ve had an effect there too, at least insofar that the Dyrwood wasn’t completely off limits anymore and leading especially young people who hadn’t lived through the war to be more curious about it.

Now, why would the older people not like that? Well for one, it’s different, and different is bad in Readceras. Also, it reminds them of a time both worse and better. Worse, as in the Aedyran colonial times (because I refuse to belive that Waidwen didn’t change the economy at least a little for the better), and better when their god literally walked among them, which he doesn’t anymore, so it rubs salt into that wound.

Then how can they get away with putting it on at all? That I can answer with absolute certainty, because it is entirely rooted in canon. The Ladies of the Aviary. Worshippers of Hylea which work explicitly to help artists portray their art and avoid censoring. They convince higher up people, or if they cannot be convinced, help the artists avoid detection. They don’t discriminate between good and bad art, and only seek to spread it unchanged and as the artist intended.

And while we’re on worshippers of Hylea, the church of Hylea is known to comission plays and poems about Eothas and Waidwen, specifically as a way to mourn their dissapearance, which certainly had a hand in the musicals creation.

For the last point: why does Waidwen like it? Now, aside from a personal preference I just made up, we established that Waidwen grew up with music. While the rest of his generation may have distanced themselves from that sort of art, Waidwen never had the chance to grow up so to speak. His death was one of the factors in the changing of art and so he never got to experience that. Yes I had to end this post on a sad note.

Thank you for listening to my TED talk that I basically just did because I wanted to rant about literature for a bit.

Here the Soundtrack It’s on Youtube cause I don’t have Spotify. The last song was added after the events of Deadfire btw

[unrighteousbooks]

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

This is the third part of a long story. What follows was told to me by a customer, and the issues he discusses -- art and character -- are things that I, too, have been thinking about. I have been thinking about them enough that I went on what could be described as a pilgrimage, and I will discuss that in the fourth part of this story.

This, however, is his story. After he told me, I asked him to put it in writing. It is about someone named Bill and someone named Ted, and although I once met two men by those names (see the previous post) I am unfamiliar with the individuals he discusses here.

* * * * *

I grew up in the age of 8-track tapes. Remember 8-tracks? I saw one in your shop once, you know. One 8-track tape, just sitting on a shelf. Not important, I guess, but yeah. The great thing about 8-tracks was that you could play them in your car. I started buying 8-tracks long before I even had a car, just because I was looking forward to the day, when I'd be sitting there in my own car, looking cool, popping in a 8-track and cruising around town, and probably I'd have a really cool car, like a Plymouth Barracuda, or an AMC Javelin.

Anyway, 8-tracks: I had a whole cabinet full of them. Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Kansas, REO Speedwagon, Nazareth. But you know who I really loved? Ted Nugent. He was a fantastic guitarist. He was precise and lightning fast, and his songs had fun, catchy rhythms. Lots of the lyrics were crass and sorta vulgar, but you didn't care, because you knew it was all just a little silly. I mean, how can you get all worked up about a song called Cat Scratch Fever? You didn't expect anything thoughtful or eloquent from Ted Nugent. You just expected lots of energy and good guitar. That was Ted. You didn't take him seriously, because hey, he was just being Ted.

Meanwhile, there was also Bill.

Bill was Bill Cosby. He was a brilliant comedian, and the ironic thing is that great comedians are serious. Underneath all the jokes, there's something genuine. Good comics point out the strange things that we do without thinking, and they remind us that we're all kind of nuts. I had an 8-track tape of Cosby, too. Can't remember the name of it now, but he talked about the Revolutionary War, talked about Superman, talked about Noah getting instructions to build the ark... all kinds of stuff. Cosby was hilarious. He had these wonderful stories about his brother, and his parents, and then later on he had brilliant routines about being a father. A while after that, in the Eighties, he had a TV show. It was warm and funny and thoughtful. In the Eighties, TV didn't get much better than that show.

Now, I've never been particularly interested in celebrities, beyond the thing that made them celebrities. By that I mean, if someone was a good musician, I was interested in their music, but nothing else. I couldn't care less about what kind of exotic sports car they drove, or their supermodel spouse, or whatever. If I had paid a little more attention, maybe I wouldn't have been so disappointed later on. All I knew about Ted Nugent was his music. I started to lose interest because he started to get repetitive, and when the guitar didn't hold your interest, you noticed the lyrics more. And once you've heard the words to "Wango Tango," you can't unhear them. You're gonna wonder if the guy singing them has regressed to a mental age of 12 or 13. Even so, the crappy music he did later didn't erase the good music that he did earlier, right?

Here's the weird thing, though: Somewhere along the way, people started listening to what Nugent said, even when he wasn't talking about music. He was babbling nonsense about how war was coming to America, and how he'd would wind up dead or in jail if Obama got re-elected... weird, batshit-crazy gibberish. But apparently a lot of people thought he made sense, and conservatives started trotting him out for rallies and conferences. It was weird as hell.

And meanwhile, there's Cosby: Cosby, who seemed like the polar opposite of Nugent, until we found out that he'd been drugging and molesting women for decades. We'd been looking at his work as a comedian, and we thought we knew him. We felt betrayed when we found out that the actor had only been acting.

Bogus, right? Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. The short trip from being respected to being reviled. But that brings us to an important question: Can we separate their work from everything else? And is that even something that we should do?

Maybe we have to realize that art and artists are separate and distinct, and they have to be judged differently. A work of art -- whether it's a song, or a painting, or a monologue about giving your kids cake for breakfast -- that work can stand alone. You hear two songs by the same artist, and you love one and hate the other. That's OK. The existence of the lousy song doesn't change anything about the great one. Every work of art succeeds or fails on its own merits, and in that sense, art is simple.

Artists, on the other hand, are complicated. People are complicated. We have to judge artists the same way we judge everyone else. We'll find that they have virtues and faults, just like the rest of us. But once we've seen someone's dark side, it's not easy to ignore. I still have an old CD of Nugent's first album, but I can't listen to it anymore, because it just makes me sad to think about what he's become. The same with Cosby. I remember laughing so hard at some of his old routines, but if I listened to them now, knowing what I know, it wouldn't be the same.

What makes this even harder is that there's this little voice in the back of my head, asking: Is this fair to them? To Bill and Ted, I mean. See, when you admire someone, you don't want to know about their flaws. And when dislike someone, you don't want to know about their virtues. Once you decide you're ready to write someone off, the last thing you want to do is to admit that there might still be some good somewhere inside them.

That little voice keeps reminding me: You're not perfect either. I'd love to be able to say that I'd never done a bad thing in all my life, but I can't. If I'm going to be judged, I want to be judged on everything. Take the bad into consideration, because yeah, sometimes I've fucked up. But I think I've done a few good things, too, and if your verdict is going to be fair, you need to consider as much evidence as you can.

I don't mean that everybody gets a free pass, so long as they did something good at some point in their life. But I do think that if you want to know where someone stands, you need to be able to trace all their steps. The good, the bad, the ugly, and all the stuff in between... it's all part of the same journey.

* * * * *

After he told me this, I realized that there were certain ideas that I had been struggling with for a very long time. I began thinking about a particular story, and a particular person.

One reason that I love bookstores is that they are the perfect place to ponder ideas. Being surrounded by books inspires us to think beyond the here and now. In this instance, however, I realized that there would be a better place to think about the things I needed to consider. In this case, I needed only one book.

I grabbed the book, closed the shop, and headed out the door. I needed to visit a place called Graceland.

[roominthecastle]

I can't help but think you're being a bit too hard on Eleanor because of ship bias. I mean, why would you called her 'her worst self' and 'selfish' when she's always been one to throw stuff to get in heaven (even with the character development)? But suddenly she's being sappy and depending on someone who isn't Michael and the whole M/E fandom is at her throat. I'm as unconfortable as the next shipper with all the C/E scenes but is it really Eleanor and her characterization that's at fault?

Yes, of course I am biased (to a certain degree). When the show caters to my preferences, I’m more docile and much less likely to nitpick and complain, when it doesn’t and it drops the ball to boot, I get grumpy. So I’m your garden variety fan, basically. But I don’t believe I’m “at Eleanor’s throat”. Her and Chidi being together doesn’t make me uncomfortable bc it’s her and Chidi and not her and Michael (+ I often see things popping up in the C/E dynamic that can have potentially interesting implications for Michael’s development and for M/E, too. Generally speaking, the three of them make up a curious whole for me).

I know the chances of (2-sided) M/E happening are somewhere btw zero and never, so I’m not exactly eyeballing C/E as some kind of obstacle to my personal shipper nirvana, jumping at any chance to “punish” Eleanor for choosing the “wrong” partner. But I do feel uncomfortable with the way the C/E romance is written this season. “They are sidelining my no. 1 dynamic”, while frustrating, is not the reason for this, it’s not why I’m not crazy about Eleanor’s behavior and Chidi’s OOC-ness.

Eleanor + character development always resulted in stuff like her being emotional and vulnerable w/o getting aggressive and demanding, her accepting it when Chidi turned her down w/ dignity despite feeling heartbroken, and her being considerate of others to the point of volunteering to go to the Bad Place to save them. This is where she was a year ago and the year before that at the end of each season. This is not where she is now. I’m not saying being selfish and throwing stuff is not in her character make up or her problem-solving toolbox. Her overcoming these impulses, however, is the very point of her character development (made blindingly obvious last season when she lied about passing the Judge’s test and refused to go through the portal to TGP). What we have (currently! so it can change any time) in S3 is the opposite (see the in-your-face door to TGP that won’t open for her), it’s her completely giving in to these impulses to the point of seriously endangering everyone, meaning that she has, in fact, regressed. I suspect it is a point the show is trying to make but we’ll have to wait and see.

In “Janets”, all Janet asks is that they stay put until she and Michael deal w/ accounting. Eleanor works herself into a state over Chidi not opening up to her on command, putting Janet through hell and almost erasing her friends from existence while her own self is also disintegrating. Despite the serious consequences, this harmful behavior carries right over into the next ep where all Michael asks is that they lay low bc folks in TGP are so rule obsessed, they can send all of them right back to TBP. Eleanor immediately smashes stuff at the door to TGP bc it doesn’t open up for her when she demands it. It’s her bullying of Chidi from the previous ep all over again, only in a vase-meets-door form. Even Chidi has to be all about her now as he magically turns into a grossly idealized version of himself (see in S2 how she rejected a similar “fake Chidi”), spending the entire ep trying to prevent her from blowing up again while the rest of the team is cleaning up the mess in the mail room and Michael is away trying to fix the calculation issue. Despite the crazy-intense circumstances, everybody is trying to do something for somebody else except her - she is still hyper-focused on herself and it stands out to me bc this is a version of her I’ve never seen before and it’s def not the best one.

Again, it’s not because she is w/ Chidi but the issues become especially apparent within that dynamic since the second Michael showed her those memories, she just latched onto Chidi, expecting him to fill the void left by her screwed up upbringing that’s been freshly dredged up thanks to her not-dead mother. They made her lurch from “I’m incapable of love” to “I’m madly in love and nothing else matters”, hand-waving determinism while failing to provide any other reason why these 2 are suddenly together again. They are trying to play it as romantic/funny but it’s not romantic when someone’s whole identity has to be propped up by another person and it’s not funny how that other person has to repress his own identity/issues to be able to do this. It’s a suffocating, unsustainable interplay. Or if it’s meant to be interpreted as “love cures mental illness and erases every character flaw in 5 minutes, so you can finally be the proper romantic partner”, then it’s even worse. You don’t have to be a shipper of another ship or look too deep into this story to see these (imo) legitimate problems (but it helps, yes, since it’s natural to be more critical of sth you’re not emotionally invested in and gloss over stuff to preserve the fun potential when it’s your OTP or sth, I do give you that).

Eleanor having to coerce love and attention out of Chidi will never be cute, either, or proof that those feelings were there all along. People pushed some quotes from WJH into my face about how Chidi calms down bc he finally has what he always wanted - interesting choice of words, btw, given the pin Michael gave Eleanor - but 1) an actor’s opinion will not automatically replace my own (no, not even if it’s Ted’s or some other big fave’s) and 2) how exactly were we supposed to glean that Chidi wanted to be with her so much in this reboot? Was it when he went steady w/ another woman despite Eleanor being an option all along? was it when he refused to give private lessons to her bc he was just too busy? or was it when he - despite witnessing her meltdown - sent her packing bc they already had enough material for his study? For some reason the writers missed every opportunity to build this up properly and make this extremely syrupy display stick, but I’ve already said everything about that in another post.

This whole idea of “he felt this way all along, he just didn’t actually show it, so we can skip actual development” is a lazy, corner-cutting approach which reminds me of the worst kind of fanservice attempts I’ve had the misfortune of experiencing with several of my favorite shows recently. I have very low tolerance for that stuff now bc it never ends well. I did not expect to see this particular brand on this particular show, but here we are, I guess. Or if it’s a case of creative exhaustion/boredom where this billion times rebooted couple is concerned, then maybe it’s time to park them and give a not yet over-explored dynamic some attention instead to keep things fresh and fluid as opposed to stale and forced - again, not an unreasonable request, even if it comes from someone who is invested in another dynamic, given the lack of care that was apparently put into developing C/E this season.

I don’t like not liking things on this show (and it’s not Eleanor I don’t like, it’s the way they deconstructed her in order to write her back into a relationship as if she couldn’t exist w/o it), and I am sorry if I disappointed or offended bc it was not my intention. I hope they flip things or introduce a new angle that will make me re-evaluate. I am always open to that whenever new material arrives and I honestly hope they will make me eat my words soon. I will merrily absorb the suckerpuches. But for now, this is my opinion and “you just don’t like that she is not with your fave” - while a natural factor - is not the main reason why I made my comments.

[shiningrey]

thoughts on tlj

so its no secret that im not the biggest fan of riad johnstones fucking flaming mess of a movie. and i think finally, after a slew of smaller rants, i’m finally emotionally stable enough to summarise how i feel about tlj as a whole star wars movie; my views on which can be summarised in a quote from this awesome review; ‘the impersonal nature of star wars is starting to give me the creeps’ (and fuck how it is). through its awkward dialogue (and awkward delivery), odd and jarring self depreciating comedy, broad mischaracterisation, sweeping commercialisation, unnecessary subplots and resulting laborious run time, and overall complete lack of any creative, visual, narrative and underlying thematic originality and flair that defined the original trilogy, this blunderous commercial failed to resonate with a large percentage of audiences (myself included). hating this movie the way that i do has made me unbearably upset, just really fucking sad, because i love star wars, i love its characters and creative originality, its unique flavour. tlj has kind of just left this behind completely. and trust me, we’re allowed to critique this film because when one is given all the materials to make a star wars movie (namely $200 million), there is little excuse for producing something that is anything less than incredible, plot holes and flaws become inexcusable.

(cont under the cut, spoilers obv)

for general cohesion i’ll list my arguments in dot points (because if i write paragraphs i’ll just start getting sad again and ranting) - this mostly has to do with characters as opposed to broader narrative issues

➣ the complete disrespect and mischaracterisation of luke. his character integrity and development is sacrificed (and even regressed) purely for the purpose of rian johnson’s shitty marvel-esque humor. (which i talk about here) 

➣ THE HUMOR. oh my god, its absolutely strange, terrible and out of place. its self aware and self depreciating, completely ignoring the flavour of past star wars humor. (for example the alien tiddy scene, the poe and hux scene?) ‘A phrase often repeated in reviews is that the movie is self aware, and they’re applauding that as though it is a new benchmark in intelligent filmmaking. For me this isn’t the venue for that. The constant winking to the audience is not boldness, but a lack of confidence in the material. It was hyper colloquial, trying to be hip’ x. this is a good example too

➣ finn & rose’s entire subplot was a literal sidelining of poc characters, the narrative of which ultimately culminates to.. absolutely nothing? they add maybe 40 minutes to the run time but contribute absolutely fucking nothing to the plot. the story seemed to target the audiences ‘feels’ but seemed strangely devoid of emotion (explained well here), and sadly i think the romance felt forced (despite this i think kelly and john did an awesome job and i love them both)

➣ REY is completely shunted into just another character in kylos redemption arc, which feels like such huge disrespect to a character that i love and look up to, my thoughts on this summarised in this awesome post. (and kylo mostly sulks for the majority of the film? i literally cant take him seriously as a villain anymore, and this) 

➣ snoke was just killed off? we learned absolutely nothing of what ‘it’ is, character background & motivations, why is it so powerful with the force etc. such a waste. same arguments can be made for phasma.

➣ hux, who is established as what could possibly be a genuinely threatening, and interesting character in tfa, is immediately shunted into a comedic role, literally just there to diffuse the tension (the tension being a huge part of what makes these films fun to watch). this is one of the most obvious examples of jj’s hard work on tfa going to waste, a whole character is now absolute trash. i mean watching this (hux’s speech) it becomes so evident that rian has squandered his potential (and domnhall is an amazing actor as well so like yeah...what a fucking waste)

➣ the dialgoue.. the characters bark out their inner monologues and motivations like they’re hosting TED talks on mindfulness, infusing the film with this awful emotional sterility. And heaps of the lines feel strangely out of place in a star wars film? for example when poe says ‘i’ll hold’? and when they refer to the jedi order as a ‘religion’, which seems openly sloppy as i don’t think this is done in any other star wars film?

➣ leia (my favourite star wars character of all time) spent most of the film silent.... Awesome. (AND WHEN SHE FLIES THROUGH SPACE.. DEADASS I CANT!! but like humor aside didn’t she renounce the use of the force because of her fathers misuse? hm). her dialogue was just bad and her very minor slice of screen time left me feeling pretty fucking disappointed, she seems to now be reduced to just ‘kylos mother, lukes sister’, which sucks more than i can describe, carrie deserved more respect.

➣ and i mean.. the blatant attempts to create merch for disney (it seems to have rightly backfired), at least wookies had a place in the narrative

➣ rian’s plot seemed really formulaic but somehow still in a clunky and strange way, just really lacking in any creativity. (for example on crait when poe says ‘theres only one way in and out’, but not 5 seconds later they’re shown a ‘secret’ exit, this just seems lazy)

➣ the casual destruction of what were probably hundreds of rebellion lives, picking off the ships one by one toward the climax of the narrtive? i mean an argument can be made that this was necessary to the plot (i don’t make this argument at all), but regardless it sat wrong with me that this blasé mass murder was brushed over. we feel nothing for these hundreds of dead characters? this seems really really wrong - the complete opposite of what Rogue One was trying to accomplish

➣ the beauty of the CGI visuals often felt patronising. like i was meant to sit there and mindlessly go ‘oooh’. whilst i was appreciative of the CGI during certain moments, generally i just felt it didn’t really excuse the empty plot and characters. 

➣ even more minor things, where was the ‘i have a bad feeling about this’. did rian even watch the other movies????? for a movie thats referred to as pure fan service, it sure does a poor job at servicing fans

so all these things culminated to create a super bland, flattened, sterile and commercial star wars movie, with no actual creative vision (besides some admittedly beautiful visuals), disney has failed to create a star wars movie. even jar jar binks was, for better or worse, a bold creation, nobody could say he was a rehash of pre-existing characters, and tlj lacks this quality utterly and completely. in trying to both adhere to the structure of previous films, whilst also being ‘different’, it loses its sense of cohesion entirely. not to mention this movie is completely out of sync with tfa, besides basic plot points it seems to have no continuity whatsoever. all of jj’s beautiful work on tfa characters and dialogue, has gone to waste. i look forward to him salvaging the burning scraps of this trilogy.

maybe i am reading into this too much, maybe i am critiquing for no good reason, and the reviews would certainly suggest that. but this movie has really upset me, not only in concern for star wars, but for the wider film industry, the business of blockbusters, sequels and ‘subtle’ commercialism. the future, it seems, does not look bright. 

[lunar-years]

everyone has different interpretations of scenes, but for real that scene with jamie and roy was just plain sexist. roy seriously said "i don't know if we're getting back together because she's a woman and you never know". like what the absolute fuck was that line? they showed up to her house condescending, completely unapologetic about their behaviour, and treated her like a trophy prize. she deserved to beat them up. jamie and roy have always been troubled characters, but they were never (not even in season one) sexist assholes. the show went out of its way multiple times to establish that even when they made mistakes it was due to personal insecurity and not misogyny.

and whenever it was something misogynistic, it was heavily criticised as such, which, in this episode, it was not. a lot of people did seriously not catch the blatant sexism of it at all and went "that's how these men act" (again, what the fuck?). jamie spent season three being respectful of roy and keeley's breakup and not making a move on her, out of consideration of roy's feelings. roy, who knows how abusive jamie's father is, probably better than any other male character on the show, physically assaulted him. despite the fact that throughout the season roy has been approaching jamie with affection, realizing that's what he needs to feel secure (complete disrespect to 2x08 too, one of the best episodes of the series). and while we're on the topic of violence, roy and jamie were never this violent with each other, even when they hated each other's guts. jamie, who gave keeley a truly heartfelt apology about the leaked video, making a point to not victim-blame or engage in literally ANY other sexist behaviour, just brings it up to upset roy in a dick-measuring contest. and one episode ago, one fucking episode ago, they were all getting along, keeley and roy were obviously trying to get back together, and jamie wasn't one bit bothered by it. they were holding hands on his bed and he saw them and smiled! regardless of whether you think the roykeeley arc was rushed (i do), jamie might have been heartbroken or sad, but he wasn't, not once, established as jealous of them. and this entire season was devoted to roy and jamie becoming friends by slowly growing comfortable around each other and actually trusting each other. every single one of those things was thrown into the trash. and yeah, sure, progress isn't linear and perfection isn't possible for people, but that WAS NOT regression. roy and jamie were never sexist dicks. those were two completely different characters.

ALSO, this scene normalizes the idea that it's perfectly forgivable to revert back to sexism whenever emotionally distressed, even if you are generally not like that in your life. it's not. in reality, you're either sexist or you're not, and doing this in one scenario will absolutely mean that you will be sexist in different scenarios too. nobody in real life will be sexist in some areas of their life and feminist in others. implying that this isn't the case shows a very poor understanding of feminist theory and ted lasso has more or less done a good job at not being sexist. i feel like this really excuses unacceptable behaviour that the show itself tells us, with rupert particularly, has very real consequences that perpetuate violence against women. to me, the light-hearted resolution of that whole scene was terrible and poorly written at best. people in the writers' room typed that scene, read through it, and did not find it weird at all. though it's not the first time in the third season, see: forgiving jamie's dad and far-right bigots (???).

and lastly, when people were asking for a love triangle resolution, they meant something fitting for the year of our lord 2023. healthy communication and conversations, mutual respect and love between the charactets, maybe even polyamory (3x11 had a great ot3 set up, too). nobody meant we wanted something from the fucking 1950s. literally the only worse way this could have played out would have been if keeley ended up with the one that caused the other more damage. legit disgraceful ending for roy and jamie as characters, and for the show as well. considering everything it has stood for so far.

(i'm sorry if this reads like i'm calling people out, i'm not, really, i'm just very mad. and also really sad, because i did not go into the ted lasso finale expecting unaddressed sexism. like that was Really Very Bad. for this show especially).

woahhh there's a lot going on here, anon. For anyone wondering, I'm assuming this is a response to this post of mine. While I don't mind discussion or being called out... this does feel like something that could've very well been your own post or an open response to mine instead of an anon note. Because if you've read my meta, you'll probably already know I'm not going to agree with you on this.

Just gonna drop a few short thoughts because I don't have energy to write a think piece when my broader thoughts are already contained in my original post:

I'm not sure where you think I was trying to excuse their words or pretending they weren't being sexist or like they weren't treating Keeley as a weapon in their own games or a prize to be won. I think there's a difference between excusing someone's actions versus trying to understand where they were coming from for the characters and where they are at now.

"while we're on the topic of violence, roy and jamie were never this violent with each other, even when they hated each other's guts" Roy & Jamie were literally beating each other up in the locker room and brawling right out there on the pitch in season 1, anon.

"Keeley and Roy were obviously trying to get back together, and Jamie wasn't one bit bothered by it." this is just not true. Roy was trying to get back together with Keeley. Keeley wasn't shown to be reciprocal (beyond sleeping with him, which is a repeated pattern of behavior for her on the show, and something she in fact did with Jamie in season one), and Roy misinterprets it, as Jamie misinterpreted it. In fact, I'd argue Roy deciding it was a good idea to try and make him and Keeley happen right there in Jamie's bedroom with Jamie crying to his mum one room over, shows he wasn't thinking about Jamie, not when it comes to Keeley. Roy wants what Roy wants and he assumed he was going to get it. And Jamie went through a whole journey of expressions when he opened that bedroom door, so I don't think it's fair to say he "wasn't one bit bothered." I think we've established at this point Roy and Jamie both love Keeley and have always been weird and jealous about it with the other.

"this scene normalizes the idea that it's perfectly forgivable to revert back to sexism whenever emotionally distressed" this scene didn't normalize anything, because the show immediately acknowledged that Jamie and Roy were both in the wrong and had Keeley rightfully kick them to the curb for it. The narrative was not that this is okay or acceptable behavior. I definitely didn't see the scene as light-hearted

"nobody in real life will be sexist in some areas of their life and feminist in others." i am a woman who considers herself very much a feminist. That doesn't mean I've never had moments of internalized misogyny or made harmful comments that buy into a patriarchal narrative, despite myself. Well-intentioned people make mistakes. We are all works in prog-mess trying to get through life as the best people we can be. Jamie and Roy, in my opinion, are fictional iterations of the same principle. I don't think this comes even close to destroying their entire characters in the way you are implying.

All the best x