#something happened this summer and either its over and ill never go bck to being moderate | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

natandacat · 2 months ago

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My partner asked me to actually take the time to talk about the whole like if things continue getting worse at what point do I want euthanasia and how do I want to go about it and what to do if I cant do it myself and like. I should do it and its been at the forefront of my mind since august given how bad things got and how scary it was to be in this spot where i can envision a future where I cant even advocate for my own dignity. But damn I don't want to actually prep for it.

#health stuff #very scary that this is the most likely outcome. just degrading to a point where theres no quality of life #this conversation is also for my partners benefit like i dont want them to have to figure this out alone if i can't #the next six months i think are gonna be very decisive re what the future looks like #idk. somethings wrong. im not recovering like i should #something happened this summer and either its over and ill never go bck to being moderate #im just severe for life now #or theres something else going on idk im gonna ask my cardiologist to send me to internal medicine again #i feel like theyre all watching me degrade and just. giving up.#but yeah idk i dony wanna end up like my father. unable to ask for it.

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