#something dumb i came up with and wrote while drunk cuz why not

[tegr1dy]

The Blue Angels Came to South Park

Stan brought two Coca-Colas to school: one for himself, and one for Kyle, stuffed inside of his jacket pocket.

The first time a plane flies over the school they’re in the middle of a lesson. It’s loud, and he thinks the sky is actually breaking, because that would be more in line with something he’s actually experienced before.

The entire school goes outside to watch. They’re watching the planes cross each other in the sky, their engines leaving behind puffy X-shaped trails of smoke in their wake. Stan elbows Kyle.

“Here,” Stan says, and hands him his Coke.

“Oh, sweet!” Kyle takes the soda, his fingers brushing Stan’s around the width of the can.

“I had to sneak this, so appreciate it,”

Kyle nods in thanks and smiles, cracking it open.“Your parents don’t let you have soda?”

“No, they do. They just don’t let me pack soda in my lunch.”

“My mom doesn’t either.” A plane whirrs above them and Kyle looks up at the sky. Stan is still looking at Kyle. “She says it’s too much sugar.”

“But you always have chocolate milk.”

Some kids are beginning to get distracted, looking away, running around on the grass while their teachers scowl underneath watchful eyes.

“Milk builds strong muscles,” Kyle retorts.

“Strong, sure…”

Stan just about jumps out of his skin when Kyle wraps his arm around him and squeezes. He can’t lift Stan up very far, but it’s clear that he’s trying. Their chests are pressed together. Stan stumbles and then they’re toppling over, Kyle’s arms still locked in a death grip around Stan’s waist. Their Cokes spill all over the grass, a little bit of sticky, sugary drink splashing onto their faces, too.

“Told you I’m strong,” Kyle says as he pushes himself off of Stan to lie on his back next to him, holding his forearm over his eyes to block out the sun.

“Stan! Kyle! Quit the horseplay!” Mr. Mackey calls to them from a distance, but they’re already sticky with soda, covered in dewed grass, dirt on their clothes, and they don’t care. Kyle snickers first, and then they both start laughing.

Another blue plane, identical to all the other blue planes, makes a loop-de-loop for the fifteenth time above them. “This is kinda boring,” Stan sighs.

“Better than that Grammar diagraming lesson. Mr. Garrison’s sentences are always so weird. ‘A tea bag helped the the delivery man in dispensing his load.’ Like, what does that even mean?”

“I have no idea. Maybe we could ask Tweek, he knows all about hot drinks.”

Stan and Kyle both look up when above them, a plane begins to nose dive before catching itself and ascending with glory back into the sky until it’s nothing more than a tiny black speck.

“Woah! I thought it was gonna crash.” Stan likes how wide Kyle’s eyes get when he’s fascinated. He splays his left arm out until he’s brushing Kyle’s right hand. It’s Kyle’s turn to eye Stan carefully now while Stan keeps his eyes on the sky where all five planes are flying in unison, synced up in a neat little line. He’s not paying attention, though. Rather, his focus is on the tips of Kyle’s fingers grazing his knuckles, tickling the hairs there and making his wrist twitch away, regretful.

Kyle takes Stan’s hand, holding it still.

When the Angels make their final swoop down to low ground and then back up again, one swift, fluid motion, Stan’s stomach flips and he figures he must have a distaste for flying.

As they drift away to their landing site, Stan closes his eyes against the harsh light of the sun and pictures himself and Kyle drifting among the clouds too. As South Park, everyone, and everything in it fade away into dreams, they’d float along into a new plane of existence made carefree just for the two of them.

[lovemikage]

— training wheels

summary: mike doesn't know why he keeps letting you drag him to these dumb parties.

content warnings: 7 minutes in heaven, tooth-rotting fluff, not smut but suggestive, making out, mike calls reader "pompoms" cuz she's in cheer, fem!reader, everyone lives no one dies, college au, mike is NINETEEN!!!, childhood best friends to lovers, mutual pining, not beta read i wrote this and immediately posted it

wc: 1.93k

dt: @arachine <3

You and Mike are bickering like an old married couple, which wasn’t new. Your hand was wrapped tight around his wrist while you led him around, which also wasn’t new. No, what was new was that this was happening at a party, something Mike generally didn’t get invited to. 

And he wasn’t, not really – neither were Dustin or Max, who were currently huddled up on the couch looking ridiculously uncomfortable; El was drunk, but at least she looked happy. Will found some luck talking to a guy on the patio. Lucas was more comfortable, leaning against the side of the couch also relatively drunk but at least able to talk to the teammates who came up to say hi. 

And he wasn’t, not really – neither were Dustin or Max, who were currently huddled up on the couch looking ridiculously uncomfortable; El was drunk, but at least she looked happy. Will found some luck talking to a guy on the patio. Lucas was more comfortable, leaning against the side of the couch also relatively drunk but at least able to talk to the teammates who came up to say hi. 

The reason any of them were here, really, was because of you and Lucas – you’d made it a point to tell your group of student athletes that if they wanted you two anywhere, then the rest of your friends would be able to come too. Lucas nodded vigorously next to you, letting you do most of the talking.

It was a begrudging agreement (from both sides, honestly), but one flash of your puppy dog eyes had them all caving. Mike took a bit more convincing, but after promising him more movie nights in exchange for a party every other week, he caved. 

And that’s how you’d ended up here, huddled in the center of Chrissy Cunningham’s living room with your best friends, some fellow cheerleaders, and a whole lot of frat guys, writing down all of your names on little slips of paper. You loved party games.

“Alright, losers, we’re playing seven minutes in heaven–” Chance’s voice rings throughout the room and you tilt your head up from where it was previously resting on Mike’s shoulder, “All of your names are in this hat, so we’re gonna pick two and then send you in a closet with whoever you get – no redos, we don’t care who you end up with, just, like, knock on the door or something if you guys are fucking when seven minutes is up.”

His friends laugh and you grimace, thinking distantly about how maybe Mike was right and you didn’t need to play every party game you came across, but –

“Okay, Y/N –” The sound of your name being called makes your eyes widen and your body tense. You feel Mike’s arm tense from its place around your shoulders, tightening almost imperceptibly. 

“Aaaand – oh. Wheeler,” Mike’s name is called with much less enthusiasm than yours is, coated with distaste, “You lucky bastard.”

You feel your entire body heat up because oh my god, why does he have to flirt with you right now?, and also because you’re currently about to be sent into a dark closet with your best friend slash longtime unrequited crush.

You hear a bark of laughter at your side and give Dustin a withering glare (which of course doesn’t shut him up, but you tried). You’re immediately very aware of the fact that your knees are touching and his arm is around you, a position that was previously so comfortable now feeling so, so intense. 

You want to scream, and maybe die, but you guys are getting hauled up way too quickly by some basketball players that are way too strong for their own good, then being led (and frankly thrown) into a relatively large closet. The last thing you see before the door closes is El giving the two of you a double thumbs up, bless her heart, while Dustin, Lucas, and Max laugh their asses off. Nice. 

“And your timeeee starts – now,” You hear Chrissy’s girly giggle from outside of the door and make a mental note to throw a pompom at her during your next practice; she was one of the only people who knew about your crush on Mike and you just knew she was kicking her feet right now. 

And then…silence. Save for the dull thud of the music blaring outside the closet, it’s just you two, breathing in the dark. You fish around for a light and as soon as it clicks on you both seem to realize that you are way too close. 

You and Mike retreat to opposite sides of the closet and you busy yourself with looking at a pretty coat (it’s not pretty, it’s linty and has threads hanging off of it, it’s just pink). You hear him clear his throat and think about how hard it would be to fake your own death and move to Iceland. 

“So, uh, hi –” Hus stupid voice breaks through the silence and somehow your humiliation is taken over by an overwhelming urge to punch him, “Crazy seeing you here.”

And that’s what sends you into a fit of giggles. You shake your head, already crawling forward so you can sit next to him, close enough to smack his head lightly, “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Hey! I was trying to lighten the mood!” He laughs, swatting your arm away before pulling back to get a good look at you, smile fond. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. 

And then the reality of the situation sets in again and you both get quiet. 

“What do we – what are we supposed to do?” His voice is soft, honestly kind of worried, and you can’t bring yourself to throw him a light-hearted quip. 

“I mean – like, us in particular or the game?” His expression indicates the latter and you shrug, “Usually people make out. Sometimes they’re caught having sex, that’s why Chance said to knock on the door – you know, I have no clue how people have time to do that, but –” 

You cut yourself off, realizing you’re rambling again, and offer him a sheepish smile. God, you haven’t felt this nervous around him since you were ten and figured out what a crush was. 

“But, uh, yeah. That’s – usually what happens.” Why were you so nervous? You were in a closet with your best friend. So what?

“Okay, cool, cool, perfect, yeah –”  He nods, throwing his head back against the wall and running his hands down his face, “So what do we do, then?”

“Um – I dunno. Just sit here, I guess?” You grip his wrist to check his watch. The touch feels like it burns, “We have five minutes. You could start your ‘I told you so’ lecture about how I never should’ve dragged you to this party, we could devise a plan to kill the others when we get out of here, we coul–”

“Have you had your first kiss yet?”

You splutter, “W-what?”

“Your first kiss. You had it?”

“Well – no, but I don’t really see what that has to do with –”

“Why?”

“Are you insane?”

“Answer the question. You’ve had boyfriends.”

He’s right. You sit there and twiddle your thumbs, biting down on your bottom lip. How did you tell him that the reason those boyfriends had never lasted for more than a month was because they always ended up getting jealous of your nerd best friend, and you’d give them up in a heartbeat for him? How did you tell him you never had your first kiss because you were saving it for him?

So you do what you do best; you deflect.

“Well have you had yours?”

He has the audacity to look surprised. To scrunch his stupid eyebrows together and let his jaw drop. God, he’s so annoying. 

“Well no, but I think that’s kind of irr–”

“Why?” Your tone is mocking, your nose scrunching up while you do a crude imitation of his voice. Whiny and grating.

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you second.”

“Okay, and you always told me first is better, so I don’t think its very fair of you to–”

“I was saving it!” Your outburst cuts him off and your hands shoot up to cover your mouth, eyes wide like you can’t believe you just said that (you can’t).

“Saving it for what? For who? You could’ve had, like, all of those meatheads on the football team by now. You’re literally vice captain of the cheerleading squad, pompoms, the hell are you saving it for?”

“For someone special. But he’s a fucking idiot and can never take a hint.”

He looks at you in confusion. You think you can physically hear the clock ticking and your eye twitches.

“Oh my god — you, dipshit! It’s you!”

His eyes widen and he jumps. Jumps back. You want to die. You feel your entire life crumbling – having to explain to your friend group that you’ve left the country because you finally told Mike you liked him and he didn’t accept it, having to learn how to translate cheer skills into farming, having to –

You feel the pressure of lips against yours and your mind goes blank. Mike’s lips. Oh my god. Mike is kissing you. He’s got his big hands on your waist, tugging at the fabric of your shirt insistently and you all but clamber to seat yourself on his lap. 

You’re straddling him now, legs caging in bony hips, arms looped around his neck, and it feels nice. Right. Like two puzzle pieces. Millions of little butterflies erupt in your tummy and you think you’re shaking. His lips are so soft, everything you’d ever dreamed of and fantasized about and written in your stupid pink diary. 

He pulls back. Looks at you with half-lidded eyes. Gives you that stupid, stupid dopey smile that you hate so much and lets his hands fall to your hips, “Woah.” 

“Woah indeed, Mikey –” You giggle, feeling a bit hazy yourself. Is this what they feel like in the movies? “Such a romantic, aren’t you?”

He rolls his eyes, and you catch yourself counting the freckles across his nose. His voice snaps you out of it, “Sooo, we got –” He looks down at his watch, “Two minutes. Got any ideas on what to do for two minutes?”

Your lips curl up in a smirk and he almost groans when your hands tangle in his hair, long nails scratching against his scalp, “I’ve got a few ideas. Oh – wait up.”

He eyes you curiously, big brown eyes confused and looking like a lost puppy when you pull a hand from his hair, only to widen when you give one, two, three knocks on the door. A message. 

Your smirk only widens to a grin at the commotion it immediately causes – you hear Max gag, then El giggle, hear the distinct sound of Lucas hollering, and a chorus of groans from a frat’s worth of men who now realized you were off the market. You hear Dustin say “Finally, it’s only taken our entire lives” and you decide to plot his murder another time. 

You’ve got priorities. 

You turn back to the boy of your dreams, leaning forward to press your nose against his and grin. 

“Ever thought you’d have your first kiss and lose your virginity in the same night?”

“Nah, but I knew it’d be with you.”

“Oh, you asshole, don’t one up me like that.”

You cut off whatever he was going to reply with with another kiss, this time more passionate than the first one. Hungrier. You tug on his hair and use the opportunity of him gasping to slide your tongue against his, arching your chest into his with a whine. It’s perfect. 

You’ve both got a lot of time to make up for.

[cheeseburgersstuff]

Poetry Contest

Hey!! it’s me again, with another stupid fic. I can't write much these days cuz I’ve been feeling shitty these days.💀

but I’m always ready for the weekly challenges by my babies!! Even if I write shit

@captainchrisbaby @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho 💕

__________________________

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: language, cringy plot,🤢 mistakes (shitty writing..) 

A/N: all the poetic stuff down IS NOT MINE! I’m too dumb for that kinda shit! 😂

Master-list

(Gif is not mine)

She wasn't usually this nosy but when she gets intrigued by something there's nothing that would stop her.

That’s how she ended with Steve’s diary in her hands. It wasn't any sketchbook kinda thing. She discovered that long ago in their early dating stages. 

It was something else, something no one imagined Captain America would do. 

She opened the diary to reveal a few quotes he wrote. She flipped the pages, surprised at the new information about her poet boyfriend 

And there comes what she was low-key wanting to find, 

I Will Love You

I will love you

As long as the sun 

burns in the sky.

As long as the moon

shines its light

into the dark night,

until the raging 

blue oceans become 

calm and run dry.

I will love you

Until the end of the line.

(By Christy Ann Martin. It was time, I changed it into line)

Before she could react to the loving words that were supposed to be for her the door opened. She turned with a jerk, throwing the dairy back into the drawer. 

Steve gave her a confused look watching her standing over his desk. A towel hanging on his hips, hair still wet from the shower he just took. 

Yn gulped and gave him a nervous smile. “Are you okay babe?” Steve asked. He didn’t look convinced but walked towards the closet. y/n took the chance and closed the drawer and walked out of the room. 

“Babe I was …” Steve turned towards her but didn’t find her there. He sighed and chuckled at his crazy girl. 

______

Yn was sitting in the living room, still thinking about the diary. When did he start poetry? Was that poem for her? Of course, it was for her.

Writing some poetic, deep stuff wasn’t a big deal but for a person like her who takes a few seconds to understand some deep intellectual shit, it was a big thing her boyfriend was secretly a poet, just like he was once a secret artist. 

Maybe she could just ask him? Or maybe just ignore this? 

She was the one last time, who discovered his artistic abilities. She didn’t want him to think of her as some nosy, weird girlfriend, even though she was. So she wanted him to tell her, himself.

Suddenly Tony came declaring he was bored, that’s when the master plan came into her mind. So before someone from the team could suggest the old stupid game as a source of entertainment she opened her mouth. 

“We could have a poetry contest” she suggested with a big smile. Everyone looked at her incredulously. 

“Poetry? You?” clint said with a disguised face. She gasped feeling offended at his words. Tony chuckled. 

“He’s right, why do you want that anyway” 

She glared at Tony, “you guys saying as if you were born as a poet. Maybe you could share something with us birdbrain” she spat at clint.

Clint shrugged and cleared his throat. Everyone turned towards him ready to hear something meaningful from his mouth for the first time. 

“Bacon is red

Bacon is rough 

One strip of bacon

Is never enough”

Everyone remained silent, kept looking at Clin’t proud expressions before y/n, and Tony burst out, laughing loudly. 

Clint frowned, “Hey, that rhymed okay!” he defended himself, making them laugh louder. Steve and Bruce shook their heads, acting all matured. Nat was sitting with unimpressed expressions.

“Oh...oh I have a better one.” y/n said between her laughter.

“roses are red

Pizza sauce is too

I ordered a large

And none of it’s for you”

This time the client joined them too. They all were on the floor laughing like drunk idiots. Now it was Tony’s turn. 

“ I have one too

Roses are red

Bugs make me itch.

If you weren’t so nice,

I’d call you a …”

This time the annoying laughing session downed a bit. y/n stopped laughing and hit tony’s head.

“Ouch… what? I just called you nice” he rubbed his head. 

“Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’ve got five fingers,

the middle one is for you” she said while imitating her words.

And before they could annoy everyone more, with some stupid fight. Nat jabbed in, 

“Roses are red

Chocolates are brown,

You’re getting neither,

So calm the fuck down” 

y/n and tony shut their mouth but kept glaring at each other. Clint chuckled at Nat only to receive a deadly glare by her.

After a few minutes of silence, Bruce cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“I have one in my mind too.”

“Roses are red.

I have a phone, 

Nobody calls me, 

I'm forever alone.” 

Nat's facepalmed at the doctor’s words. The avengers were idiots. 

“I read this on the internet,” he explained, feeling embarrassed. 

“I feel you man” Tony chuckled patting his back. 

Suddenly y/n remember the real reason she suggested the stupid contest. She turned towards Steve who was already looking at her with the expressions that made her giddy. 

“Y..you didn’t participate,” she said, making him smirk as if he expected that from her. 

“Oh yeah, capsicle. Got something to tell us” 

He simply stood up from the couch and started sauntering towards her. 

“Her eyes are like the stars in the sky.

Her sweetest smile is what makes me high.

Sometimes I wish I could hug her forever,

And till the end of our life, be together.”

His small steps close the distance between them, their eyes fixed on each other.

“Thank god for making me meet this angel,

Who has made my ordinary life so very special

I promise to love you till the end of my life,

Let me be your hero,

You, my beloved wife?” 

(I changed the last line)

He knelt down with a ring in his hand. He looked up with his shiny blue eyes filled with love for her. 

She sobbed feeling happy. “Y..yesss” she nodded eagerly making him chuckle. He put the ring on her finger and engulfed her in his arms. 

“Wow, smooth Captain lover,” Tony remarked. Everyone congratulated and teased them. 

After some time everyone went back to their work. y/n and steve went back to their room when suddenly steve grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him. 

“Hmm…I wonder why you were suddenly interested in poetry all of a sudden huh?” he said in a low rough voice. She looked up towards him. He raised his eyebrows, daring her to lie.

She gulped, “I...I accidentally saw y. Your diary”  he chuckled. 

“Accidently?” she sighed in annoyance and shook her head reluctantly. “N.noo” 

He hummed gently tracing her face with his fingers. He brought his face near hers.

“You know it’s rude to read someone’s diary without permission” he whispered against her skin. She shivered at his voice. 

“I think you need to get disciplined huh, what do you think?” he grabbed her chin to make her look into his eyes. 

“Y..yes Captain,” he smiled at her words and led her towards the bed to teach his soon to be wife some manners ;)

.

.

.

@donutloverxo

[pinkykitten]

Dancing Mission

Detroit: Become Human

Connor x female! reader

Warning: cussing, a sex offender dude, some blood

Specifics: comedy, violence, fluff, romance, man vs man, dancing, women power, race neutral reader

People: Connor, you, Hank Anderson, Devin James (oc), Carl Hunter (oc), Markus (mentioned)

Words: 2,993

Summary: You a cop as well, work with Hank and Connor to take down a man named Devin James. What you don’t know is you have to go undercover in a club. You end up dancing with Connor. 

Authors Note: i know is suck at summaries, im so used to just gettin the frickin request and just copy and paste u know. but omg i think i am in luv with this story. this is prob now one of my fav stories i have done. i have watched all of dbh on jacksepticeyes channel (lol im too cheap y’all) and it is one of my fav games. my sis luvs connor to pieces as do i (cuz he luvs dogs duh) so this is for her. i’ve wanted to write a dbh fic for the longest time so here it is. i really want to write more so pls request more of this and feedback is much appreciated here. 

“-so that means that we have to act natural like one of them,” Hank explained while driving to the destination. 

You, sitting in the back of the car thought about this mission. You have worked with Hank for a couple of months, you’re both practically friends. Maybe even BEST FRIENDS (lol idk why i feel like this sentence would sound like spongebobs voice. well it kinda makes sense since the dude who plays hank plays mr krabs...anyways) 

The goal was to arrest a man named Devin James. Supposedly, he has been keeping deviants for about 2 years. He sells them for quite a lot of cash to those who want to “fix” them. Your expression turned into sadness when you read his file. You understood what he did to these deviants. He would lock them up, abuse, torture them, and then sell them to others. But not so they can be fixed its so the buyers can torture the deviants more. 

Unfortunately, you knew why he needed to be arrested. It was not because he was doing these things to the androids. It is because he is selling deviants. In your mind however, you saw this as a rescue mission. To make sure those deviants get out, even if it kills you. 

Your group came into contact with him. Devin was now currently, in a club called “Pomegranate”. 

“Weird name for a club,” you laughed looking outside the window. It was midnight, the night sky pitch black. There was tiny drops of rain pattering against the glass.

“Maybe it is called Pomegranate because when a woman opens up her legs-”

“Shhhh Connor! There is a woman seated in the back!” You called out, your eyes widened in surprise that Connor knew those types of things. You scratched your nose and wiggled your eyebrows, “Hank, you gotta be careful with this one. Apparently he’s either been too much into fanfiction or hentai to know those types of facts.”

Hank looked into the rear view mirror, “In a minute y/n I’m gonna throw your as* outside this car into the pouring rain! Now can we talk about the dam* arrest!”

You shrugged and laid back muttering, “It was your baby Connor’s fault.”

Hank gave you a glare through the mirror. Any words that were about to come out of your mouth were quickly swallowed down. 

The car stopped and you jumped out. 

“Alright, remember what I said act. Natural. This guys good, he has ran away from the police many, many, many times. So we need to make sure that he doesn’t know that we’re cops,” Hank instructed slamming his car door.

You nodded, “Right, right, right. But let me ask you this Hank from “Finding Dory” how the hel* is Mr. Roboto here gonna oh I don’t know...blend in. When he’s a fuc*in android!”

“I also see no way out of this Lieutenant Anderson,” Connor added. 

Hank rolled his eyes at you and opened his trunk, “I was gonna get to that, y/n! Disguises.”

You peered into the trunk to see a plain tux, a bedazzled 80s suit (which of course you knew to be for Hank), and a dress. 

“Connor you wear this tux, and you y/n, wear this dress.”

Connor eyed the tux that was handed to him weirdly, and you groaned at the dress. 

“I do not think I can do this. It is not in my making to change my outfit-”

“Well, what about me! I mean it is in my making to change but like...I DON’T WANNA,” you interrupted Connor, making him blink like “what just happened.”

Hank closed the trunk and locked his car, “No if, ands, or buts. Go to the restrooms and put them on.”

You heaved a heavy sigh, “Ugh! I have my stupid period and now I have to wear this dumb dress,” you grumbled as you trudged inside the club. 

“Keep an eye out for y/n, okay Connor,” Hank said as he walked inside. 

Dua Lipa & Calvin Harris - One Kiss (i feel like this song would be played like at a disco club or something. i luv this song and always want to jam to this. this song is playing in the club)

Connor was changed into his tuxedo and Hank was in his suit. 

“I’m gonna head over there, see if I can find him. You-,” Connor and Hank looked up to see you come out of the bathroom. 

(omg i can so imagine this the chorus comes on or in this vid 1:02) You dolled yourself to look like a million bucks. Make up on and hoop earrings. “You guys ready?”

If you hadn’t known any better you would have thought they got a boner because of you. 

“Y/n,” Connor whispered, mesmerized by your look. The dress clung on to all the right places. 

“Jesus y/n, look at you. Connor close your mouth,” Hank chuckled. “Alright I’m gonna go over there see you guys in a few if you haven’t got any leads. Let me know if you spot him though, alright? Good!” Hank left. 

You walked well more like almost tripped with the 9-inch heels. “You go by the exits, Connor. And I’ll take the bar.” You pushed your boobs up (if u aint got titties dont worry u added some padding then, every boob counts👍) , “Okay ladies...do your job.” 

You swayed to the bar, trying to entice a man like Devin. Instead, Connor looked with big, wide, eyes. “I swear I haven’t even had a dic* bigger than 9-inches. How do you expect me to walk in these Hank?!?” You grumbled aloud to yourself.

“Excuse me, baby but you are sure lookin fine,” a tall man growled as he grabbed a handful of your butt. 

You rose your brow and tried not to punch him in the balls. “Do not blow you’re cover y/n,” you thought to yourself. 

“Hey, give her an old fashioned,” the man ordered the bar tender.

You nodded and smacked your lips together, “oh, okay, so you want me to be drunk as hel*. I gotcha.”

The man laughed and licked his lips, “Thats funny. This drink will make you grow chest hair, that is for sure.”

The bartender gave you the drink. You coughed, and prepared yourself to be drunk in this mission. You chugged the liquid down. The whiskey burning your throat. It all slid south and you put the glass down harshly. “Baby, know that women got hair all over.” You raised your arms up and showed your armpits. Hey, you haven’t shaved in a while. You a busy gal. (if u think that this is nasty u better get off this blog right now)

“Dam* girl, you for real though,” the guy sat down on the bar stools. Eyeing your whole body. 

“I don’t sugar coat. Anyways, whats your name?”

“Carl, Carl Hunter. You?”

“Y/n, L/n.”

“Hey, bartender can she just have a light sangria.”

You pulled your dress down in order to sit on the bar stool. In the process, you put your purse down on the floor, in between your legs. 

You then put your attention to Carl again and saw your drink was waiting for you. 

“Why thank you, Carl. I think I’m not gonna drink anymore than this so here,” you handed the bartender, “is the cash.”

Carl stepped in and forced your hand down. “Baby, I got this. My mama always taught me how to be a gentleman. I will pay for this.”

You knitted your eyebrows together, “Are you sure?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

You grinned and stroked his arm. He winked at you. As he was paying the bartender you took out a device called “pd.id”. It shows if your drink has been spiked. 

“Pric*,” you muttered. You brought out your handcuffs out and handcuffed him to the stool. 

“Hey, what the fuc* you think you doin?”

“I am saving women, pig! Trying to drug my drink huh? Thought it could get past me? You are dead wrong, and your name was Carl Hunte?” You wrote it on your hand. “Got it, thanks Carl for buying my drinks. Hope you like prison.” You poured the sangria all over his head and walked to Connor. 

“Have you found him yet y/n?” Connor was by the dance floor. 

“Nope, but I found a disgusting sex offender. So still kinda saved the day,” you sighed, placing your hands on your hips. 

You phoned Hank who was...somewhere. “Where you at Hank?”

“I’ve asked around to see if someone knows him or if they’ve sighted him. But everyone around here acts like dumbas*es. You got anything?”

You snickered, “Nada, hey I’ll make this bet. Whoever gets Devin first gets their drink paid by the loser.” Your eyebrows rose as you looked to Connor who looked at you with puppy, innocent eyes. “And Connor can have some...blood...”

Connor smiled and looked away.

You could hear Hank on the other side chuckling, “Okay y/n...you’re on. Have fun...LOSER!” Then Hank hanged up the call. 

“As*,” you laughed. 

You then saw the dance floor and people were dancing all over. It was as if a light bulb went off in your brain. “I have an idea,” you said aloud. 

You grabbed onto Connor’s hand and guided him with a sway of your hips to the dance floor. 

“Have I ever told you I love this song,” you grinned. Your feet stepping to the beat. Connor just stood like a plank of wood. Just mesmerized by your moves.

“One kiss is all it takes, fallin in love with me,” you sang, goofing off also by doing the underwater dance. “C’mon Connor join me.”

Connor’s mouth was open wide, “Oh, um, um, I do not think dancing is in my program.”

You brought your hands on Connor’s shoulders, and your body bent and stretched all over. “I’ll teach you robo boy,” you winked. 

Connor’s cheeks created a blue blush, he was a lost for words. His eyes were glued to your eyes. Drinking everything in. 

“You move like this, put your hands here,” you said while placing Connor’s hands on your hips. “Now just feel the beat, the rhythm, be one with the song.”

Connor stumbled a bit, but then he got the hang of it. “I, I think I am doing it y/n.”

“See! There you go!”

You both moved together so perfectly. Like trees swaying in the wind. Like a river. Your hands traveled all over Connor and he developed an even deeper blush. 

You then let go of him and danced by yourself. He studied your dancing for a while then he danced by himself. 

look up on youtube Bryan Dechart dancing as Connor

Finally, Connor was being...Connor. He was being himself. He was proving to the world that androids are not just things, they are living and they deserve to be free. 

“Oh my god, YES CONNOR! GO CONNOR! Woooohooooo!!!!!,” you cheered jumping up and down. 

You both danced then like animals. Shaking not caring if you both looked like two goofballs. The dance floor was empty so it was just the two of you. You did the sprinkler dance. Connor then started laughing and smiling from ear to ear. 

“Yeah, go y/n, go y/n,” Connor cheered as well. 

You heard the song was almost to the end. Your body twirled to Connor’s body until you both were almost glued together. 

“You are extremely beautiful...y/n...,” Connor whispered only so you and him could hear.

“And you Connor are important to me,” you whispered to him. You both were closing the gap between you two, your lips almost meeting. 

“Guys, I found Devin,” Hank yelled to you both as he appeared before you two. “Oh, um, am I disturbing something?”

“You found him,” you questioned as Hank ran ahead. You broke contact with Connor and gave him a guilty face. You stepped off the dance floor and brought your gun out of your thigh holster, following Hank, with Connor behind you. 

You sprinted to the commotion of people now screaming since smart pants Devin tried to shoot you guys. You tried to see him over the sea of people. 

“I spot him,” you shouted, not caring of the protests of Hank and Connor. “Don’t worry guys I got this!”

 You ran after Devin, stumbling a few times from the dumb heels. You look down, “Dam* heels!” While going after this man, you take the heels off and throw them at him (kinda like Nakia from Black Panther). He screams in pain but doesn’t stop. He jumps over boxes of booze from the club and you do the same. You chase him out of the club, going in the street. 

“GET DOWN NOW,” you scream at him. “If you do not stop I will shoot!”

The man kept going until you shook your head, breathed hard a couple of times, you sped, fast after him. It was if you were possessed by Usain Bolt. You caught up to him, your dress ripped by your legs. You pounced on Devin, putting his arms behind his back in a death grip. “PUT THE GUN DOWN, NOW!”

Devin, breathing harshly, threw the gun away from you both. “Owww you’re hurting me,” he whined. 

“Good,” you sassed back, picking him up harshly. More in the light you can see where the end of your heel hit the side of his head. You tried not to laugh, muffling your giggles. 

You picked up the gun and walked back to Hank and Connor who were not far from you. 

“That was very impressive,” Connor smirked while winking like you did. 

“...am I missing something here,” Hank eyed both of you. 

You gave a lopsided grin, “Oh Hank, if only you knew...No, you’re missing your Devin. Here’s his gun and you owe me a drink...loser” You threw the gun to Hank and chuckled. 

As Hank took a hold of Devin you went to his level to speak to him. “So Devin, where you hidin these deviants?”

“I won’t tell...cun*,” he hissed. You punched his face, your ring making a mark on his nose it also looking a little crooked, and blood coming out. Heh, marked twice by you. 

“Y/n, can you please be a little more fuc*in professional, right Connor?” Hank asked Connor.

Connor shrugged, “I think that punch was needed.”

“Okay, I am definitely missing something,” Hank shouted. 

You gripped Devin’s face, “You. Don’t. Talk. To. Women. Like. That. Understand? Now, again, where are the deviants?”

“In my warehouse, like 5 blocks from here.”

“Thank you,” you said professionally. You walked barefoot to the car, and waited for the boys.

“I have gotten you these,” Connor handed you a pair of flip flops. “I know it is not much, but I much prefer you walking in them then on the wet ground.”

You smiled and thanked him. Hank was driving to the warehouse that Devin talked about. 

“I think this is it,” you called, looking out your window to see a rusty metal warehouse. The scene you walked on upon looked like it was taken from a 80s horror film. The lightning striking like a whip in the dark clouds. You brought your flashlight out. “Whelp boys, lets see what we find in here.” 

You all walked inside. You were thankful you were out of the pouring rain, but now you were stuck in the cold metal warehouse. Shivering like a pair of rattled bones, you tried to cover your bare arms by hugging yourself. 

“Here y/n, take this. I do not want you to get a cold,” Connor gently placed his tux jacket on your shoulder, leaving him in a tight white shirt with a black bow tie.

“Thanks...Connor,” you smiled, cuddling yourself in the jacket. 

“I think we should all spread out. Just remember though, we’re dealing with deviants...be careful, all of you,” Hank said making his way to the right. Connor chose the left, while you, well didn’t choose but were stuck with the middle. 

You tiptoed silently, trying not to make any noise. It was dark, and dusty. It was extremely hard for you not to erupt into a coughing fit. Suddenly, you heard a bang coming from the side of you. You jumped almost like a cat. You stood there, trying to do breathing exercises, and to try to steady your heart. Even though lets be real, your heart was not steady even to begin with this mission. Everything was thrown, antique chairs, a type writer, and pieces of a car hung from the ceiling. The dust particles traveled across the light from your flashlight. The dirt was all muddy since there were tiny holes in the roof. It smelled disgusting, like a farm. 

“How could anyone live like this,” you spoke aloud, covering your nose with Connor’s jacket. 

“Please, save us,” you heard from in front of you. You panicked and turned every which way, trying to find the source of that voice. 

“We beg you save us. Let us be free.”

“Get us out of here.”

“We want to be free.”

“Is that our savior, Marcus?”

“Please, save us.”

“Please!”

Your flashlight then came upon the cells and cells of deviants. Some were all white having taking off their skin. Some were broken, missing limbs, missing an eye. Some were still freshly made new, just with a few tiny scratches. But they all had one thing in common. They were begging. Begging you to set them free. They were tired of living like this. Your heart saddened for them, why couldn’t androids be free? Why were they abused and slaughtered like this? It was not right. But what if you did let them all out? Would you loose the trust of Hank, or even worse Connor? Would you loose your job letting these deviants out secretly? There were only two choices, 

were you going to leave the deviants?

or...were you going to let them out?

You had to decide...

[rezilient-m3]

May 11 (con't)

Family life should be next, I suppose. During my placement (for 6 weeks) I've had my biological mom staying with us helping, cuz I needed someone with a vehicle and license to take kids to and from school. I thought this would go smoothly. My oldest, T, did not get along well with my mom. And my mom did not know how to speak to her. I mean, sometimes I don't, but at least I try. They butted heads a lot. Plus, this kid sometimes missed school, and made all of them late for school nearly everyday. It was embarrassing to have the school call me almost every morning to ask if kids were coming to school. Like, I'm grateful for her coming, but it was upsetting cuz I couldn't do anything from work. Then, the Friday I was finished my 180 hours, I came home. I thought I was supposed to be happy. Maybe I was moody already because I had no plans and nothing happening for me. Low key salty cuz I felt like I had nobody. Again lol. Anyways, my mom had something to say about T talking back or not listening. So, this was fking up my mood already. I asked T to go clean her room, and her sisters to do the same. They went, she didn't. Just sat on the couch and ignored me. I was fed up. I told her, "You know what? I'll just go to the store and buy garbage bags. If you don't know how to, or want to keep your room clean, I'll put everything away and you could only have your clothes and your bed." And this is exactly what I did. She yelled at me, swore at me, and I ignored her. kept bagging. Until she fucking took away the bags and hid them. I lost it and dumbed a box and a whole bag of garbage all of over her room and went all the way down to mine to find that she had went down there and threw everything off my shelves and bathroom counter. I broke. I bawled, sitting on my floor. My mom tried to hug me, but I got up, packed a bag and left. Well, I was sitting in my suv outside for a bit. I swear I was seriously contemplating falling off and going to drink. My mum and my older sister were in another city in the next province, so I msged my sister, saying I was gonna fall off if I didn't leave, so I was just gonna go to them. That was the plan. T ended up walking out of the house with her backpack. I asked her where she was going, only giving me smart ass comments. She didn't go back in the house, and ended up running away. Then I left. I was pissssssed. She ended up staying at a friend's house that night. I called the next morning when she was hoe and apologized. I didn't go to where my mum and sister was though. Idk if anyone has kept up, but I wrote about a guy I invited back to Alex's the first time we moved into his house. When I fixed it up, after moving, then left back to my parents house for a year. The same guy that picked me up when I was in the drunk tank from when I was back at Alex's while he was at work lol. Hf. Anyways, me and this guy, G, have been in touch since. So, like for over 4 years. Texting every few months to catch up. This is where I went. Cuz he doesn't live in this city anymore, and moved to the next province. I spent the weekend with him. It was fun. We even went to the mountains for that Sat night. I wish I could say that sex was amazing and worth the damn drive lol. But he only last not even two minutes every time. I was wondering why the first two times, he swore. I felt bad, thinking it was me that upset him lol. But got it, the third and fourth time. But, good for me for being too sexy haha jk.

[xfilescat]

something else (steve harrington x named!reader

word count: about 3k

warnings: none except language (maybe not even language, i might’ve taken out all the swearing lmao)

preview: “You were so caught up that you barely registered Hopper speaking. ‘Have you two been drinking already?’

Joyce chuckled. ‘I don’t think so, Hop. That’s not alcohol. That’s something else.’

‘Drugs?’

‘Something else.’”

A/N: umm hey guys! guess who’s back w another attempt at being a good writer!!! i gotta tell you something: i’ve literally written and scrapped like five entire fics since i posted “a river in egypt” because i do this thing where i reread something i’ve written so many times that i start to despise it. i’m basically holding myself at gunpoint to post this one because i really wanna break that cycle!! also forgive me for completely ignoring the release date of “we built this city.” this fic is set around june 1985 & the song came out in august of that year, but it’s just such a good example of a bad ‘80s song (now there’s an oxymoron for ya) that i had to pretend it came out earlier!! also, there is one prerequisite for reading this fic: you MUST either listen to or look up the lyrics to “he’s the greatest dancer” by sister sledge before you read this, otherwise you’ll be a little confused about a few jokes. anyway, i hope you enjoy cuz i had a lot of fun writing this. oh, and i’ve included a list of all the songs mentioned in this fic because i love music and i think it will help you to kinda feel what i was feeling when i wrote each scene :) so take a look!

songs used/implied/referenced: “last chance on the stairway” by duran duran

“he’s the greatest dancer” by sister sledge

“wonderful tonight” by eric clapton

“we built this city” by starship

“train in vain” by the clash

“one more night” by phil collins

June 1st, 1985 was the Hawkins High School senior prom, and from the moment you zipped up your sparkly dress and stepped into your sky-high heels, you told yourself that you were going to stick it out for the whole night. Yes, prom was an archaic, overrated triviality, but you figured that after all of the stuff that had happened last year, you could use a little triviality. Plus, you were there with Steve, so you knew that even if nothing else lived up to your expectations, you’d have a good time. He was your best friend.

You had to admit that the Hawkins High School prom committee had done a bang-up job of turning the run-down gymnasium into something halfway gorgeous. There were glimmering paper stars and streamers hanging from the rafters, a big shiny disco ball was casting flattering beams of light across everyone’s faces, and they had even gotten one of those classic balloon arches under which students posed for Mr. Comenski’s camera. It looked like a cheesy movie, but in a good way, an “I’ll remember this forever” way.

About a half hour before the end of prom, one of your favorite songs started to play. You and Steve were mingling with some friends at a table when you heard the first few notes, grabbed his arm, and pulled him to the dance floor so fast you nearly knocked a couple of people over. He had to have the patience of a saint for putting up with you, for just smiling good-naturedly whenever you did things like that—which was often. When it came to you and your antics, there was never any question as to whether or not he was along for the ride. He always was.

“I gotta say,” you said after a few minutes of dancing. “This night isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.” You took his hand and twirled under it.

“I know.” Steve had to shout to be heard over Duran Duran. “This is really fun. The only thing I’d change is your dancing ability.”

Your jaw dropped. “Wow. Sorry I haven’t mastered your signature move of standing there and bopping your head. We can’t all have your god-given talent.”

He grinned and nodded, easily sidestepping your sarcasm. “Did you know Sister Sledge actually wrote ‘He’s The Greatest Dancer’ about me?”

You laughed and placed your hands on his shoulders as “Last Chance on the Stairway” faded out and an old Eric Clapton song filled the room. “Ah, so you’re the ‘champion of dance.’”

“My moves would put you in a trance,” he confirmed as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You two began to slow dance, albeit a bit formally. There was a safe and friendly distance between you. Nothing like Carol and Tommy, who were literally making out with each other ten feet away from you. It was nice: you chatted as you swayed, joking around and singing along to the song. You shut your eyes and tried to memorize every single detail: how the way you were angled made the music sound a little louder in your right ear, how Steve’s hands felt around your waist, how badly your shoes hurt. In that moment, everything seemed special and everything seemed to be a part of something bigger and more beautiful.

Then, they cut Clapton short and started playing “We Built This City” for the second time that night and you opened your eyes the same reluctant way you do when you hear your alarm go off in the morning. You and Steve looked around at your fellow students kicking up their heels and then locked eyes in mutual confusion. You shrugged. Maybe nearly dying a couple times gave you and him a lower tolerance for bad music: life was too damn valuable to spend any second of it listening to Starship. Steve said something to you, but you couldn’t hear him. You leaned in closer. “What?”

“I said, do you wanna get out of here?”

You smiled in relief. “Yes, definitely.”

He immediately took your hand and led you off the dance floor. You made a beeline for the back door and to your surprise, he didn’t let go right away. Not even after the door swung shut behind you and there were no more crowds to get lost in.

It was tranquil outside. You could still hear the music from the gym, but other than that, there was no sound save for your heels clicking against the pavement. It made being on campus at night feel all the more surreal. So did holding Steve’s hand. “Hey,” you said, peering up at him. He looked almost unreal in the moonlight, and you had to tighten your grip on him to make sure that you weren’t dreaming. “Is this something we do now?” You started swinging your still-entwined hands. As close as you had become in the past few months, holding on this long was new.

He chuckled. “Sure, why not?”

“Alright, then. Cool.”

“Cool.”

You listened to your footsteps for a little while longer. Once you reached Steve’s car, you leaned against the passenger side while he unlocked the doors. You watched him fumble with his keys in the low light before he glanced across the roof at you. “Shannon?”

“Mhm?”

“Where are we even going?”

You rested your chin on top of your folded arms. “I dunno. Anywhere but here?”

“We could go grab some food to kill time before Tina’s party.”

You sighed. “Right. That. I forgot about that.” You knew that an after party was part of the whole prom deal, but you’d let it slip from your mind. Or maybe you’d blocked it out because it was too unpleasant to think about. Standing around in some stranger’s trashed house while your classmates did dumb, drunken shit wasn’t exactly your definition of a good time. You opened the door and slid into the passenger seat with another sigh.

Steve sat down behind the wheel and met your eyes with an authoritarian, knowing look on his face. You knew that look. You called it his “dad face.” It was usually aimed at one of the kids—or you—when they tried to do something stupid. “You don’t wanna go?”

“Don’t give me that damn look.” He laughed, and you fought back a smile before continuing. “It’s not that I don’t wanna go, it’s just that…” You trailed off.

“You don’t wanna go,” he finished for you.

You grinned. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “In all honesty, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about going, either. It’s just gonna be more of the same. Plus, Hargrove may not have shown up here, but there’s no way he’d miss out on free booze and I reeeally don’t want to deal with him tonight.”

“Exactly. So can we just ditch it?”

“Please.”

“Thank goodness.” You leaned back in your seat and sighed for a third time, this time in contentedness. “Now, what are we gonna do with all this free time?”

He thought it over for a moment as he started the car. You watched as a smile eventually spread across his face. “I have a great idea, Shan,” he said matter-of-factly, pulling out of his parking space.

“What is it?”

“Put your seatbelt on first.”

You complied. “Where are we going?”

“To a disco on the outskirts of Frisco.”

“Steve,” you giggled. “Come on.”

“Okay, okay. I know a couple of people who’re throwing a very exclusive party tonight, and it just so happens that we’re on the guest list.”

When you walked up to the front yard of Chief Hopper’s cabin, he and Joyce were sitting on the porch enjoying the weather. “You kids are back early,” he commented. You were far enough away that he had to shout for you to hear him.

“Yeah,” Steve called. “We skipped out on the whole after-prom thing.” He was helping you hold up your skirt so it wouldn’t get dragged across the forest floor. You were still in your dress and he was still in his tux even though you both had brought a change of clothes for Tina’s party. You knew that the kids would love to see you guys all dressed up.

“Good,” Hopper replied. “I don’t need any more drunk and stupid teenagers running around my town tonight doing drunk and stupid things.”

Your high heels were turning the leaves into a treacherous obstacle course, but you were determined to make it to the cabin without assistance. You stumbled once and steadied yourself, then another time, and then another time before Steve finally rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around your waist. You looked up at him and raised your eyebrows. “Is this something we do now?”

He burst out laughing and you couldn’t contain yourself, either—you were overcome by that inescapable, long-lasting kind of laughter that only inside jokes brought about. Steve’s dress shoes weren’t ideal for traipsing through the woods, either, so with all your giggling, neither of you were very surefooted. About thirty feet from the porch, you stepped onto a particularly slippery patch of leaves and went down, taking Steve with you. This only served to exacerbate your laughing fits. It suddenly seemed like absolutely everything was funny, from the leaves in your hair to the awkward position you had landed in. You were so caught up that you barely registered Hopper speaking. “Have you two been drinking already?”

Joyce chuckled. “I don’t think so, Hop. That’s not alcohol. That’s something else.”

“Drugs?”

“Something else.”

“Ah.”

After a few more seconds of mindlessness, Steve stood up and helped you to your feet. “Alright,” he said, dusting himself off. “We’re gonna make it this time. Are you good?”

You winced as you stretched out your arm and felt a fresh soreness in your elbow. “I’m good enough. I just need to…” You grabbed his shoulder and reached down to take off your shoes. “There. Now I can walk.” You bunched up your skirt so it wouldn’t drag and started toward the cabin. Steve fell into step beside you and muttered something under his breath about how you should’ve just taken your shoes off earlier. You went wide-eyed. “Oh, okay! Keep it up, Steve. Keep it up and you’ll be wearing these shoes.”

He laughed and looked at you like you were crazy. There was something else in his eyes, though, something intense and admiring, that threatened to send you reeling back down to the forest floor. “What the hell does that even mean?” His playful tone of voice was completely out of sync with that look.

“You heard me,” you replied, but you said it to the ground so he wouldn’t see you blush.

Once you reached the porch, you made small talk with Hopper and Joyce until a cacophony of voices drew you inside the cabin. The kids were huddled in front of the television watching some old soap opera. From what you could tell, they were parroting lines from the show in ridiculous voices and completely losing their minds over it. “Alright, kids,” Steve called as he took a seat at one of the chairs at the kitchen table and kicked off his shoes. “Party’s over. We’re back.”

El turned around first. When she saw you, her jaw dropped and she immediately ran over. “You look so pretty,” she said emphatically, twisting the skirt of your dress so that it sparkled in the light. You beamed and ruffled her hair.

Steve watched this interaction with that same dazzled look on his face from a few minutes before. When you met his eyes, however, he cleared his throat and turned to look over at the rest of the kids. “So, what have you guys been up to?”

Max leaned over the back of the sofa. “Never mind what we’re doing. Why are you home so early?”

“Yeah, it’s prom,” Lucas said. “Aren’t you supposed to be out all night?”

“I bet they got kicked out,” Dustin teased.

Mike scoffed. “They didn’t get kicked out. They’re not cool enough to get kicked out.”

“We didn’t get kicked out,” you confirmed. “Prom’s over. We just didn’t go to any after parties ’cause we’d rather hang out with you guys.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “And by the way, we are so cool enough to get kicked out.”

He and the kids then launched into a ridiculous debate about what you two would’ve had to have done to get yourselves thrown out of prom. You stopped listening after Will posited that you guys could have been shown the door because you only hung out with middle schoolers. You instead focused your attention on El, who was still studying your dress. “Shannon,” she said thoughtfully. “What is prom like?”

You motioned for her to follow you over to the couch. “Prom is really cliché, but really fun. You get to dress up and see your friends and just have a great time.” You set your high heels on the floor and relaxed into the cushions.

El sat down next to you and folded her legs. “What do you do there?”

“You dance, mostly.”

“Like at the Snowball?”

You half-smiled, half-cringed as memories of tense, uncomfortable slow dances with nervous preteen boys at your own Snowball flashed through your mind. “Yeah, sorta. But dancing at prom is different.”

“Different how?”

You thought about it for a minute. “Honestly, I can’t explain. It’s just different.”

“Geez, Shan. Don’t be so cryptic,” Dustin interrupted as he flopped onto the adjacent sofa. The debate must have been resolved because Steve and the others make their way over, too. Steve joined Dustin on the couch while Mike, Will, Max, and Lucas sat down on the floor.

You chuckled. “I’m not being cryptic! It’s just different. Here, you know what? We’ll show you.” You stood up and held out your hand to Steve.

He tore his eyes away from the television. “We will?”

“Just get up.”

He grinned, stood up, and took your hand. You started to pull him into the kitchen where there was more open space. “Wait,” he said, trying and failing to dig his sock-covered heels into the wood floor. “We’re gonna dance to this?” Something by The Clash was playing.

“No, not this.” You dropped his hand when you reached the kitchen and walked over to the radio. “Something more like…” you let yourself trail off as you tuned through different stations looking for an appropriate song: something slow, something sweet. You stopped when you heard the beginning of “One More Night” and turned it up loud. “Something more like this,” you said, walking back into the kitchen.

“Okay, everybody,” Steve said to the kids once you’d reached him. “Pay attention.” Five out of the six of them regarded you two with a casual interest, but El looked completely engaged. “If you’re leading, you’re gonna keep your hands right about here,” Steve said, putting his hands on your waist.

“That’s right,” you said. “No higher, no lower. Now, if you’re not leading, you’re going to put your hands on the other person’s shoulders like this.”

“We already know this stuff,” Mike interrupted. “We’ve all danced before.”

“Yeah,” Dustin agreed. “Hey, Mike, remember when your sister practically begged me to dance with her at the Snowball?” Mike whacked the teasing smirk off Dustin’s face with a pillow.

Steve shrugged. “Well, then consider this a refresher course.”

“And I told you, dancing at prom is different,” you added. “It’s a lot slower.” You began to move to the music.

“And closer,” Steve said, guiding you toward him until you two were pressed right up against each other. You looked at him and widened your eyes a little. That wasn’t how you had danced together at prom.

“So, uh, from here on,” you said quietly, “you just sorta sway.”

Steve nodded. “It’s easy.”

After that, neither of you spoke for a while. You just held each other and stepped from side to side. During the silence, Phil Collins sang the lyric “I will always be with you” and you realized that this wasn’t how best friends were supposed to dance with each other. The kids seemed to have picked up on that, too, because they’d all pointedly fixed their gazes back onto the TV. Out of nowhere, you began to laugh. You laughed because you were nervous, and you were nervous because you were young and a little in love. Steve leaned back and looked down at you. “Are you okay?” He spoke slowly, emphasizing each word.

You moved your head in some semblance of a nod. You had stopped dancing by then and you started to sink down to the floor. Steve sat down, too, eyeing you cautiously. “Why are you laughing?”

“I don’t know,” you managed to say. “I have no idea.” You squeezed your eyes shut and took a few deep breaths. Once you were calm, you opened your eyes and looked over at Steve. When you saw how utterly confused he was, though, with his face all scrunched up the way it gets when he’s doing his math homework, you started to giggle anew. This time, he did, too. You let yourself fall against his chest, your shoulders shaking with the force of your laughter. You felt giddy and weightless; you imagined that this must be what it felt like to be drunk. At some point, you lifted your head up just as he bent his down and your lips gently and innocently brushed against his.

The laughter stopped instantly as if someone had flipped a switch. At once, you drew his face to yours and kissed him again, this time on purpose and with fervor. He clutched you closer and reached one hand up to cup your cheek. Kissing him was like laughing with him: it was easy, it was intoxicating, and it was incredibly hard to stop. You only paused to pull away when you felt him smile against your lips. “What?”

He was already snickering. He could barely get the words out. “Is this—is this something we do now?”

You both fell back into hysterics and collapsed against each other. Your stomach was killing you and your eyes were watering and your bruised elbow was caught between Steve and the cabinet behind him, but you didn’t care. Especially not after Steve threw his arms around you and kissed you urgently. In that moment, you knew you weren’t just best friends anymore. You were something else.

[letsprayitwritesitself]

cut you a piece

(warning for fic and song: mention of character death and car accident)

Davey never beat him home. And they never forgot to switch the light off. So when Jack got home from the studio to see a thin sliver of light escaping under their door, his stomach sank and he had to take a minute or so to prepare himself before going back into the apartment he shared with the love of his life.

He held his keys in his pocket, rested his forehead on the door, and let out a long, quiet, sigh.

Rewind to that morning. 8am. It was Monday, and both of their first days back after the accident. Any day would have felt too soon, they knew that, but that morning, trying to return to the actions they'd been able to do so unconsciously just a couple of weeks before - Davey's alarm waking them both up, Jack hitting the shower while Davey made them both coffee, then Jack making breakfast while Davey showered and the coffee cooled - seemed impossible. Today Davey had almost managed the coffee, dedicating himself as much as he could to at least the motions of normalcy, albeit adapting them a little to include standing at the sink staring out the window for five minutes while the water ran over his coffee cup until Jack, warm and damp and solid, usually Davey's favourite vision in a white fluffy towel, came up behind him, kissed him lightly on the back of his neck, turned off the tap and whispered to Davey not to worry about it.

Out of the shower Davey returned to the kitchen where one plate of toast sat on the table between two cups of coffee.

'I really can't eat anything,' Jack confessed as Davey sat down, gripping the still too hot coffee cup tight. Davey nodded, knowing that if he tried to force any food down past the lump in his throat into his constantly twisted stomach, he'd probably throw up.

They ran through their days - Jack out at a couple of shoots that morning before an afternoon spent developing prints, and then maybe picking up some food for the two of them that evening. Davey the usual, work at the paper from eight thirty til six, home by six thirty, hopefully. Almost back to normal.

Because they had even managed to laugh that weekend, something that had once been unthinkable. It was at a dumb inside joke that had surprised them both. That had happened a couple of times since Spot's funeral, only a couple, and each time they were struck silently horrified and ripped apart by guilt at the idea that they could fathom lightheartedness in such a time.

'He would be glad that we're able to laugh,' Jack had murmured into the darkness where they lay next to each other, chasing sleep the night before.

'He would say that he'd be angry. If he knew what was going to happen he'd say... y'know. If you guys don't cry for weeks or whatever I'll haunt the fuck out of you.'

'I know he would. But you know that he wouldn't mean a word of it. And if it had happened to - to anyone else, he'd... not make 'em laugh, let's not go crazy, but... he'd tell them that however they felt, however long it had or hadn't been after the thing - the way they felt was exactly okay. Including finding laughter in the weeks afterwards. Can't predict this, can we? Any of it.' And Davey had nodded then let out a huge deep shuddering sob, staying quiet and shaking against where Jack now held him to his chest. 

Clearly things weren't quite back to how they were before, and obviously could never be. It might get easier, but it may not ever go away. The air was still full of enough grief to make them choke if they thought about the wrong thing, but it was a pollution they were finding incrementally easier to navigate each day.

So back to work, because compassionate leave only stretched so far. Jack, a photographer, had cancelled a couple of weeks of shoots, but the paid gigs wouldn't always wait for him, and at least through his camera lens he had control of what happened. Davey, a section editor at a local magazine, at least had paid leave, but also a team of people to instruct, and about eighteen separate deadlines looming. He had fired off the odd work email but he could tell that his colleagues initially impassioned "Don't worry about us until you feel better" replies were getting sparser and less emotive, and after too long a boss who was going through a terrible time just became something of a nuisance, and he didn't need that guilt on top of everything else.

Still, he did not want to go in.

They sat silent, opposite one another, and Davey felt conflicted in needing to reach out and hold Jack, but knowing that if Jack so much as glanced at him kindly, he'd implode.

'Right.' He pushed the cup away. 'I guess I need to - go.' He stood up, heading over to the front door in a trance, and Jack followed, handing Davey his bag and pulling him in by the lapels of his coat.

'I'll see you tonight.'

'See you tonight.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too -' He punctuated his reply by grabbing Jack in a hug, hiding his face in his neck. Jack brought a hand up to the back of Davey's head, holding him there, stroking his hair, waiting.

The night before, Davey had continued their conversation with 'The thing is... I'm - I'm almost reluctant to let go of the pain. Do you know what I mean? It hurts, and I feel it every second, and I can't focus on anything else, but when it starts to go... am I losing him all over again?'

'He's not there in that pain, babe, you know that. He's in your head, your memories. Your inside jokes.' Jack had stammered out the words into the top of Davey's head, almost inclined as per usual to agree with his boyfriend's infallible if depressing logic.

'How do you always know what to say?' Davey rolled to the side so he could look at Jack, and as Jack answered he wiped the tears from under Davey's eyes with a fingertip.

'Learned it from you, didn't I?' He rested his hand on Davey's cheek. 'Dave. Please, if you want to laugh, don't push it down cuz you think that's what you need to do. Spot won't mind! You... You light up the whole room when you laugh. And we could use that.'

Back in the hall the next morning Davey stepped out of the hug, shaking his head, clearing his throat. 'Jeez. Not even out the door yet! Swear to god, if anyone at work is any nicer than normal I'll have a fucking... emotional breakdown or something.'

'If what you've told me about them is right then I'm sure you got nothing to worry about.' Jack wrapped a scarf round Davey's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. 'See you tonight.'

'Bye.'

So it wasn't that he didn't want to see Davey. Coming home to their place, their tiny one-bed with its beautiful ugly wallpaper and constant familiar smell of paint and laundry detergent - the tiny hallway and its side table where they kept keys, mail, all the little bits of shit that Davey wrote and Jack drew throughout the day, a safe place for the little things that meant everything - coming home to this apartment was a daily reminder of how lucky they both were, and how much they had going for them. If Jack had had a bad day, heck, even if they were fighting, this sanctuary had always been an instant comfort.

And then Spot died.

And all the good leaked out of the world.

Because up until that point... Everything had been going great. And not even the uncomfortable kind of great where they were sort of waiting for something to go wrong. Just. Good. When they got the call on a crisp Saturday afternoon in January, Jack and Davey had been at the movies doing all the awful couple stuff, holding hands, whispering in each other's ears, making out in the back row. They emerged squinting into the daylight to dozens of missed calls between them. Unease settling over him, Davey had called Skittery back, unconsciously reaching out for Jack's hand as he was delivered the news of Spot in a cab plus a drunk driver and really not much time at all before complete unresponsiveness. 

The question of how Race was doing was too huge to contemplate.  

His suffuse underlying happiness was always clear in the months leading up to the accident, because even though he and Spot barely called each other anything - boyfriends, partners, whatever - they were inextricably bound, no question. In the bar not too long after it happened Race had muttered to Jack that 'I didn't know if we were ever gonna... You know. Marriage, whatever. He's probably watching me say this now and cringing at me for acting so gay. But like. It was never any question whether or not we were in it for life. He was my person. Still is.'

The hardest part, then, was figuring out how they were supposed to keep going, how the world was just going to keep spinning despite the fact that something like this had happened. It wasn't ideal, hanging out in their apartment the whole time, letting themselves do nothing but think about Spot and how god damn unfair it was, but any time they attempted something else it would without fail end up in them reverting to that. Davey sitting in front of the washing machine, three folded t-shirts in his lap, one half done in his hands, himself totally lost in staring into the void of the drum trying to remember the last words he and Spot said to each other. Jack standing at the counter, one hand on the vegetable peeler and the other on a carrot, his attention utterly stolen by the contemplation of who was going to use Spot's Rangers tickets and why couldn't Spot have just fucking stayed alive. Time had helped, as it does, and let them relearn slowly how to keep living, but neither of them had lost a friend before. Grandparents, pets, sure. But wasn't a twenty three year old meant to be indestructible? How were they meant to go on?

The resistance Jack was feeling as he stood outside their door, both of them had felt when it came to Race. They knew as they visited him that they were walking in on someone whose very existence was in turmoil, and whose devastation underlay even his most innocuous chat, but they also knew that Race and Spot were a pair, so why the fuck was Race on his own. But they had to, so they did, and it had allowed them to start to shakily discover this new normal together - not being scared to smile for fear they weren't mourning enough, because they all knew too god damn well that they were all carrying black holes inside. 

Yet, two weeks against the life of Spot Conlon was nothing

Jack opened the door slowly and entered the apartment. Davey's bag sat abandoned by the couch, his coat slung over the back. The lamp in the hall was the only light on, and through its hushed glow Jack could see that their bedroom door was ajar. He walked through.

The dim glow of the moon outside their window let him see that Davey lay face down on the bed, head resting on folded arms. His shoes were still on.

'Dave.' He had no idea how long he'd been there so muted his voice, not keen on scaring him. He took a couple of steps towards the bed, trying to figure out if his love was asleep, or didn't hear, or was ignoring him. When he reached the foot of the bed he pulled Davey's shoes off for him, dropping them on the floor and climbing on the bed, steadying himself with a gentle hand on Davey's thigh. 

'Davey.'

He lay down on his side, head propped up on one hand, the other reaching out to rub Davey's back. Finally, finally Davey moved, shifting slowly back into Jack's embrace so Jack's chest was flush and warm against his back, Jack's arm effortlessly circling round to find his hand and clasp it against his heart.

'I'm. I'm broken.'

Jack squeezed him close, nuzzling his nose into the mess of hair at the back of Davey's head.

'You're not.'

'I can't do anything.'

'You can, Dave. You did.'

'I didn't. I left.'

'When?'

'Four.'

'That doesn't count! That's not leaving, Dave, that's...'

'Leaving?'

'What happened?'

'I was... fine. Kind of. If I focused really hard. I thought... If I acted normally, they'd treat me normally.'

'Did they?'

'Yeah. And no. Some of them seemed to think... that I'd been on vacation.' He cleared his throat, voice trembling a little. 'That I'd used the Spot thing to - you know? But I thought - like, it's fine. I don't care, let them think whatever. But then Oscar, that guy - seemed to have saved up all his energy from the last two weeks, and at about three forty five just lay it all on me. Really kind of - stuff he didn't need to say. About how he stepped up while I was gone. What needed to be done today. How at first I'd let them down by disappearing but um... How they'd ultimately been fine. Started listing all this stuff that he would have taken care of, he said, but wasn't senior enough, talking and talking, slamming pieces of paper on my desk, and I - left. While he was talking.'

'You left?'

'Yeah.' 

‘While he was talking?’

‘Yeah...’

'Babe, I'm so proud of you!'

'It was - fuck, so cowardly.'

'No, shut up. Tell me more.'

'I just. I couldn't physically face another second of his shit. Jack, I think I need help. Professional help.'

'We can find some.'

'I can't find meaning in anything outside of this apartment. I can't, and I don't think that's how I'm supposed to be.'

'Look, the Spot thing - it really puts everything in perspective, right? I am so so proud of you for being a big shot editor, but all that shit. It's not important if you don't want it to be.'

'That's it. I just looked at him and I kind of - like... he has no idea. And I didn't feel like explaining.'

'You don't have to.'

'I know.' Davey sniffed and kissed the back of Jack's hand before shifting round to face him. 'Shit. How was your day?'

'It was a day. It was fine. I got a little wavy when - I was doing this headshot session uptown and we passed a building that almost kinda looked like where Spot used to live which, it turns out, is enough to get me going. But it was... Fine.' He ran a fingertip down Davey's cheek, over his lips, off his chin, surveying the sullen, pale skin of his face. 'It's gonna get a little easier every day. But we need to get through the shit ones first.'

'I love you, Jack.'

'Love you too, kid.' He kissed Davey on the forehead, then the tip of his nose, then his lips, slow and quiet and long. 'What do you wanna do now?'

'I wanna... Say one more thing. If that's okay. Then we can stop lying here in the dark.'

'Of course it's okay.'

'It sounds so, so selfish, when I try and say it out loud. But I've been thinking that however I feel now, and in the near future, and fuck it, even the distant future - it's never ever going to feel right. I'm always going to find something wrong with how I react. So then if everything is wrong anyway, can I just do what feels right at the time?'

'Yeah. Yes, of course, Dave.'

'Because - this isn't about us, this whole sorry situation, it's not ours - but it is. Because I love you. Because I realised since Spot went, that you... are... a part of me. Whenever you leave the house, or you're at work late, or even in the bathroom when we're at a restaurant - I feel you gone. Inside. I cut you a piece of me. And when I'm with you, even lying here, touching you, I'm terrified that I could lose you, in a year, or in ten years, or in sixty. I never thought that you could be half a person until I found you, and found the rest of me. And it would be easier not to think that, but here we are.' 

He cupped Jack's cheek with a shaky hand, wiping away the tears that had started rolling down Jack's face with the pad of his thumb, before continuing:

'When I was at work today, and all that meaningless shit was happening right in front of me - all I could think about was how I hoped you knew. I know tomorrow or the next half hour or whatever isn't guaranteed. And I feel like I'm never going to find the right time to do this, not so soon after Spot dying, but then - it's how I feel, so I just need to say it, because its what's important right now - fuck. Jack, will you marry me?' 

Jack's eyes widened momentarily, then scrunched shut as he bit his lip and fought back moretears. He nodded frantically, covering Davey's hand with his and leaning in so their foreheads rested against each other.

'We don't have to tell anyone just yet - and maybe we shouldn't - but I just think - I need you to know, that - you're everything. Jack, you're everything -' His words were muffled as Jack pulled him in for a searing kiss, and he laughed into Jack's mouth, surprisingly, horribly giddy, but riding it this time rather than trying to send it away. 

'Of course I'll marry you, Dave, god - I'll marry you tomorrow, or yesterday, fuckin - get our marriage back dated to the day we met. God damn it. I love you.' 

'I don't have a ring.' He was crying too now, of course, but full of a soaring joy, and overwhelming sorrow, and sheer love and affection and god, he was so glad he could lay all his broken parts out for Jack to see. 'Or champagne. Or anything, I just thought - words. As long as you know. And we can do the rest later.'

'Later.' Jack nodded, stroking a fingertip over the last joint of Davey's ring finger. 'I'll give you the whole rest of my life, Dave. We've got forever.'

[chaosamplified]

Answer all the questions!

Alisons: Sexuality?

gay 

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

he/him, male

Amaryllis: Birthday?

January 23, 2000

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

I think so

Baneberries: Favorite song?

im really feeling Dimple by BTS right now

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my home family is me, my dad and Cammie. before college I saw my mom once a week. my dad’s side of the family is a bunch of Polaks, my grandma says she isn't polish but we have other thoughts (thats a joke...kind of) they are all mostly not affectionate and they show they care by making fun of each other and if you look at it from the outside it looks like we all really hate each other but thats just how we do things. my moms side is not like that at all, they all pretend to really care about each other but theres a split where half of them are really liberal and the other half is very conservative and borderline racist. I don't doubt that they all genuinely love each other and they do provide for each other in crisis times but they don't really....like each other u know. and the two sides of my family could start world war 3 with the hatred they have for each other 

Begonia: Favorite color? 

steel blue 

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

turtle 

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person 

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

id be a cat they are always so chill and they know they can do whatever they want and they're right  

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

the house I lived in only had 1 story that was safe for children to be in so I was very bad at using stairs until I was 12 because I never had to 

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth? 

if I could do whatever I want id probably visit my mom and apologize for all the things I would never say otherwise. spend some time with Charlie and Lio. tell him all of the things im too afraid to say now. and end the day with Cammie and my dad, probably crying. 

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

greece maybe? somewhere on the Mediterranean that isn't Cassis because I want variety 

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

not yet

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

2 in each ear 

California Poppy: Height?  

5′1

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

no but I wish they were real

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

green sweatshirt, black “skinny” jeans, black vans, green and orange floral hat 

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I kept my closet light on every night for the first like 10 years of my life 

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

Lio

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

courier new 

Columbine: Are you tired?

eternally (not actually, im chillin right now)

Coneflower: Dream job?

head songwriter/performer/art coordinator/all that shit for a touring solo act (me, im the act)

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

Puppy and Fred were both Dalmatians, and then Allie and Tom who were cats (I still have all of them at home except for puppy)

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Aquarius 

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

ive done lots of things that are worth having me remember, im not sure that ive done anything worth having other people remember 

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

literally not care at all

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

Cammie I think

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

talking about things when they actually matter 

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

I finished editing one of my songs! I performed live for the first time in over a year! I uhhh started growing a penis!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

fine, not extraordinarily good but not bad 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

not one bit 

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

nothing :) sleep?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

fantasy ideal is like. waking up and making out with my boyfriend and then going to an amusement park for a couple hours just cuz we can, spending the evening performing and then getting wasted with that same boyfriend in our luxurious house 

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

play piano and lay on piano 

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like 5 that I would genuinely consider friends 

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

I try too hard at some things and not hard enough at other things and never the right amount about literally anything

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

I can see anything as art or potential art 

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

hm. well. inability to talk about things when they matter. boobs. ugly in general. lazy. the list goes on

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

I really liked creating entire universes. like literal different planets and creatures that live there and relationships between them and the way they live their lives. 

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

my mom going to jail

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

I picked Sam as a holder name while I was discovering that I was trans because it was very easily gender neutral and started with the first letter of my birth name and then when I came out I still hadn't picked a better name but I didn't want to hear my birthname anymore so I just said I was going by Sam. when I changed it legally I made it Samuel because I no longer related to gender neutrality and I never had a nickname growing up and wanted Sam to be my birthname. Somehow Alexander just came to me as a middle name, I didn't really think about it at all and was doodling things about names and wrote “Samuel Alexander” and was like huh. and didn't think about it for months. and then in class one day I said “guys I don't even have a middle name” and Hailey was looking up names and came up with a couple and wasn't satisfied with her findings and then she found Alexander and was like “ok this one for sure” and I had never even mentioned to her that I was considering Alexander and then I was like well this is it. later I realized that when I was little I usually picked the name Alex as my character names but then decided I couldn't use it because I wasn't cool enough. I still feel like im not cool enough for the name Alex but now I go by Sam to some people and Alex to others 

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Jackson, Michigan. I usually thought that it sucked because theres not a lot for like teenagers to do there. but I was never one of those who despised it there, which is how most people who live there feel. now that im in Ann Arbor I realize that there just aren't a lot of opportunities for what society says teenagers should do, but that we made do. I realize now that Jackson is actually pretty rad and I can't wait to go back there tomorrow. I miss it a lot. 

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

really awful lavender walls with pink, green, yellow and blue butterfly decor everywhere. my sister and I shared it and never changed anything about it from the years of 2003-2012 (2012 being when we moved out)

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

I kind of mentioned this before. It sucked in lots of ways. I was really suicidal for a long time. I hated all of my family situations. I thought I would never amount to anything, I thought I would never have the courage to come out as anything. I didn't think I was gonna go to college. but I also had some really awesome lovely friends in middle and high school, Max, Hailey and Eli in particular. Eli and I have some differing views and don't talk a lot anymore, and Hailey and I had a really bad falling out, but we had no tension it was great. with Max is where most of my “teenage fun” (?) happened tho. he had a car and we did dumb shit like go to Cascades and random parking lots and grocery stores. we smoked weed once and got drunk once. those days were great and I never thought about my family and was never suicidal when I went out with Max on random high school nights

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

we were moderately close when I was really little, and then my parents started getting divorced and some shit went down between us and we didn't talk for 6 months. when I started talking to her again things were very tense. I didn't like her and I didn't want her in my life at all. our relationship is still strained but I love her now and were never going to agree on everything and she's always going to hold to a lot of her ways, and were never going to have the relationship I wish we did. but she's doing her job as a parent now and thats what I care about. she has a very specific personality based off of pop culture and ive kind of developed some of that in my own life. she's hard to explain

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

until I was like 5 I genuinely thought that he hated me, but in reality he was just stressed and worked all the time and didn't really know how to be a parent. we were never exactly close when I was young, I was kind of afraid of him. then the divorce happened and he realized that I am a person with thoughts and feelings and goals and that he was in charge of helping me develop, now all on his own. he didn't do a great job with that transition, and kind of just started treating me as an adult. but it worked. we got really close and stayed that way for a few years. then he got in a new relationship and all of her children moved in with us and they were awfully behaved and him and his girlfriend treated my sister and I as if we were also awfully behaved even though we aren't, so for that time period I had strong feelings that he wasn't being a good parent and was quite frankly being neglectful, which honestly was true. now that they no longer live with us (them? I don't live there anymore) I feel like our relationships is a lot better. could also have something to do with the fact that ive moved out. now that im rebellious and don't care what he thinks my life is a lot better. aside from parenting, he's a really cool person. he plays guitar and has lots of knowledge about musical equipment, he is the reason I took this path in life and he supports me because that was his dream too. he is also so good at being a mechanic like his customers are so loyal that he moved companies and most of them came with him, he's great at it and has so much knowledge. he just in general has a lot of knowledge and great stories and is very funny. I love him a lot

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

my Papa (grandpa on dads side) was my entire heart. he loved me more than anything and I felt the same about him. he died when I was 6 and I can't really get more into it because it is one of the saddest thing that has ever happened to me and I don't think I will ever get over it. his wife, my grandma, has surprisingly been one of my most supportive family members with my transition. she took me to France and not any other grandkids. I think im her favorite no offense. I also lived with her for a long time so we're moderately close. now that im older and don't care what my family thinks of me its really easy for me to talk to her. my grandma on my moms side lived with us 4 months of the year but she had some sort of mental problem that never got diagnosed that made it slightly uncomfortable to be around her, but she loved us with her whole heart and I love her too. her husband I only met twice in my life and I don't care about him at all

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

I met my crush by force 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I don't really have anyone that I look up to in the traditional sense 

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

in love. making sufficient money off my music that I can take extended break periods and my partner doesn't have to work. having exciting adventures all the time

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

god. lol

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Cammie

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

not to be narcissistic but genuinely probably when I play a whole song on piano and can feel that im playing everything correctly 

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

this is an unfair question! I usually put the nerf in the middle of the night at Michaels story because its lit. 

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

uhhh being abused. haha

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

easy when they are social issues or they don't personally affect me. hard if I have to tell another person my personal views on them or something they do

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

Cammie

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 7 hours with waking up approx 6 times in there 

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

school. sometimes thats not enough and I don't get up

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

I don't have a job

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

I really like my blue/gold/white sweatshirt and the green and orange floral hat im wearing now (bc its from cassis)

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

gay punk alcoholic wannabe skater kpoppie 

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

I reallllyyyy want a Yoongi funko pop at this moment in time. in general I never know.

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

not knowing if he wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss him

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

literally 0. i haven't read a book like last march (?) when I sped read The Kite Runner in 48 hours for a class 

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

I have no clue! hahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

unfortunately 

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I want to dye my hair a fun color but am afraid 

[samanthasroberts]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

[adambstingus]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/163070503847

[allofbeercom]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I��m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/