#something about their power & the responsbilities they feel toward it

[toestalucia]

(watched logias fate eps) my baby djeetagran content........

[bellamygateoldblog]

rate best to worst parental figures of the 100

worst → best (I tend to ramble throughout this, sorry!)

19 — Nia : I mean I don’t think an explanation is needed here lol. She burned Echo’s parents alive, it’s implied she then renamed her Ash, before forcing her into the identity of another child and filling her life with assassination and espionage. Mother Of The Year?

18 — Aurora : so firstly we have Octavia- who’s existence shouldn’t be. It was so incredibly irresponsible and selfish to subject her child to this life. If the ark hadn’t been dying and Octavia never caught, would she had been expected to grow old and die under the floor? Would Bellamy have spent his life, even after Aurora was long dead, being nothing more than his sister’s keeper?

And Bellamy- to manipulate your six year old son into believing it’s his responsbility to protect and care for his sister, so engrained into his mind and sense of self that he still lives by this mantra well into his 20s, to treat Bellamy being Octavia’s whole world as normal, having him go through his life with this small girl attached to him, entirely dependent on him, placing such a heavy weight onto a child- it’s UGH. No words, just a grunt.

He gave up his education and his personal life and he became a father when he was six years old. She took his life away.

This early family dynamic is at the root of ALL of Octavia and Bellamy’s major character traits, struggles and flaws, it drives them still, it’s effects are still felt and reinforced. BOO.

17 — Raven’s unnamed mother : And here is where I go off on a rant criticising the writing more than the actual mother. Just like Octavia, Raven was raised by another child, except in this case her mother is emotionally absent and said child is the same age as her (or younger) and thus i expect their experience and maturity levels are matched through their lives. Could this have bourne some co-dependency? Perhaps, but it’s never talked about i think because Raven’s backstory is practically a Schrödinger’s cat scenario with all the retconning that goes on. Like here- we recieved some more information in season six that directly contradicts what was already established of their mother-daughter relationship: “she never used me.”

*deadpan narrator voice* She did, however, use her.

That’s if we choose to accept this one as canon and not that one, god this writing is atrocious. Raven’s mother was neglectful, so much so that the only way she ate is through a boy sharing his own rations with her. Raven believes “she only had [her] so she could trade [Raven’s] rations for moonshine.” SHE DID USE HER DAUGHTER.

Furthermore, in season one she defended her mother (context: when a remark was made about selling sex in exchange for supplies), she tells her not to “dare talk about [her] mother that way” and i get the impression she at least respected her, but in season six she straight up calls her “a drunk who sold herself for booze.” In fact in season six she goes from being deluded one second- “she never used me”- to being scarily desensitised by a harsh reality the next, the same way she was in early seasons, speaking casually of her mother’s alcoholism. WHAT IS THE TRUTH? None of what we know of Raven’s family and backstory can coexist and yet here we are, talking about Raven’s family and backstory as if the writers ever cared enough to make it actually coherent.

16 — Murphy’s unnamed mother : did love him once, very much so, but let her grief poison her and turn her against her son. Another alcoholic/addict mother to add to the collection. We don’t have a lot of details about her, but the knowledge that she blamed her vulnerable little boy who had no control over his own health for the death of her husband who made his own conscious choice is enough for me to place her down here. The source of Murphy’s lack of self worth, *implied* intrusive thoughts, and difficulty connecting with others, and just in general sometimes being a total jackass. Yeah, it’s all her fault.

15 —  Clarke : like mother, like daughter. She electrocuted her child,  but what I find to be remarkably horrific about this is the simple fact  the device is the same one used to torture her in the  beginning of the season, the same one used by the so-called ‘villains’. She felt and endured the pain herself, and then decided subjecting her own daughter to that same treatment was an acceptable and necessary choice-  before leaving that decision completely redundant later by switching allegiance  and having Madi lead the army afterall. Madi was dependent on Clarke, the silent agreement is trust and respect, and this one singular  action showed Clarke violating everything it means to be a guardian and  protector. Also, she never apologised to Madi for this, nor did their relationship experience strain as a result when both of those  things absolutely should’ve happened. That’s my main gripe with the  relationship, the other being that it’s bourne of the same strain of  co-dependancy as the Blakes.

Something about Madi wanting to go to  school and be a regular child and Clarke responding to that with an ultimatum doesn’t sit right with me. At this point nobody cares about the Commander. Nobody- literally every single grounder is asleep- and, as her mother, Clarke has the right and the power to have Madi take out that damn flame to preserve her safety and youth and she doesn’t. She continues to let Gaia train her 12 year old for a dead position. Clarke is just as much culpable for the Sheidheda fiasco as Spacekru are for putting the flame into Madi’s head in the first place. That thing should’ve been removed as soon as it was no longer necessary. Clarke’s young, she had a child practically sprung upon her, and i want to give her the benefit of the doubt- but I won’t.

14 — Abby : I had no idea where to put Abby on this list and I think i’m being too generous but she’s a tricky one because I don’t think she’s necessarily a bad mother, not compared to the others on this list anyway, but the harsher aspects of her personality along with the high-stakes environment leads to the natural break down of her relationship with her daughter. I got the impression they were once close; Clarke is seen reaching out for her mother for comfort and validation multiple times during the first couple of seasons and she’s devastated and betrayed at the knowledge of what was Abby’s culpability in Jake’s death. Over time this falls apart. Abby never harms her biological daughter, but does have a very weird rival-like relationship with her, imo this being because they’re so similar. I can see so much Abby in Clarke and vice-versa. And they clash because of it, and Abby just doesn’t have any authority over Clarke, and over time their relationship distances to a point it lacks emotional value and other characteristics that make mother-daughter dynamics unique and meaningful. They love each other, no doubt about that, Abby’s been prepared to throw others to the wolves for her daughter a few times, just as Clarke does later in life. But the relationship between Abby and her daughter is strained from the beginning of the series, which makes her position as Clarke’s mother complicated.

Upon meeting Abby, Raven instantly viewed her through an almost idolistic lens- “relax, it’s a compliment, Abby’s a badass”- making me believe she latched onto this idea of The Mother She Never Had, and Abby’s first thoughts when encountering Raven were literally that she reminded her of her own daughter- “reminds me of someone.” This dynamic is absolutely intended as mother-daughter. While a mother-figure to Raven, though, Abby has directly and intentionally caused her harm. She’s electrocuted her, she;s then tried to avoid acknowledging her wrongness for that action- Raven in this moment of torture is as betrayed as Madi was by Clarke- she’s also hit her and while in a systematically higher position than her no less. These instances automatically make me wince away from the relationship because in no way does it come across as comfortable and safe for Raven. On the other hand, they’ve had a bunch of heartfelt moments even though they’re disguised as harsh jabs taken at one another. They’ve expressed the hard truth when nobody else will in times of the other’s vulnerability.

There is a stark contrast though between how she treats Clarke and how she treats Raven and the lack of biological relation, i think, is a buffer for Abby. IMHO i think her care for Raven is conditional, but unconditional for Clarke.

I don’t know what i should be feeling about her motherly-ness.

13 — Kane : I didn’t pay much attention to Kane’s dynamics, honestly, because I just didn’t like him, but as far as I’m aware he tried to do well by Octavia, Bellamy and Clarke, somewhat self-righteously and blaming, but trying is trying and he is always framed as in the right and morally superior so I guess that’s gotta count for something. This was all ruined during season five, though, with him attempting to have every one of them killed among other things. He didn’t appear concerned or reluctant- or anything about any of them.

12 —  Hannah : I think it’s safe to assume Monty had a good relationship with both of his parents pre-show. Hannah came across as misguided and manipulative towards Monty often, though, which i think came from both a place of love and desire to protect, but also, at points of most controlling, from a place of desperation and fear having already lost her husband. Honestly all I remember is not liking her very much so i’m placing her here in the middle/neutral area with Indra and Jaha.

11 — Indra : I place her here because we don’t actually have a lot of information about her relationship with Gaia. And I view her relationship with Octavia as mentor-mentee and eventually friends. They’ve had some sweet heart-to-heart moments, but i’ve always struggled to see the maternal connection. Octavia might be the daughter Gaia never was to Indra (I think Gaia might’ve even said this in the actual show?) but such a fond and pronounced memory of Aurora still exists within Octavia and with her very narrow-minded vision I don’t see her prepared to replace her or at the very least share that position with other people in her life. Indra is a stoic character, but it’s almost as if her emotional expression is reserved for Octavia. This speaks something of the closeness of their bond, but also tells us the climate between her and Gaia is more distant and troubled. There’s love there though- she was, afterall, planning to die so Gaia could live. Is this the only intended motherly sacrifice we’ve seen on the show?

The Blodreina of it all, while on one hand strengthened one dynamic, shattered the other. Indra is someone Octavia respected, trusted and listened to. I have to believe she was in the position to guide and advice her through the entireity of the time jump, but instead we saw her stand by and let Octavia slip further and further into her own darkness before turning on her in the most critical moment. And she might’ve tried and nothing worked, but really? You want me to try to make sense of this myself? The writers were on a quest to villainise Octavia and the fall of this relationship was a product rather than an intention.

10 — Jaha : he created a treasure, i’ll give him that. Admittedly we don’t know an awful lot about Wells or about his relationship with his father, but we do know he risked his own life to take care of Clarke, similar to Bellamy and to Raven who both also came to Earth to protect someone they loved. Both of those examples had terrible parents, so Wells’ goodness doesn’t necessarily mean we can credit Jaha, and as far as i can remember Wells never actually defended his father against the angry delinquents. Does him choosing to follow Clarke over staying with his father in space mean he must really love Clarke, or could it ellude to a certain father-son relationship not being as comfortable as it could be? When Jaha’s handed another child later on, he stops Kane giving him extra food because of something along the lines of: ‘he needs to learn the world’ so I think his parenting style may be more of the tough love and respect type. Wells is practical and strives to maintain order and squash rebelliousness thus his butting heads with the rest of the delinquents, but he has people’s best interests at heart (letting Clarke hate him rather than Abby, for example) and those are very Jaha characteristics i can see he inherited/observed and imitated.

9 — Monty and Harper : we only have a handful of information on this. Jordan has fond memories of them, but so does Octavia and Bellamy about their mother and we all know the truth about that one. Jordan is a backwards Octavia. Monty and Harper were all he had growing up, he wasn’t forced into hiding, but I can’t imagine it was a fun existence for him to grow up in isolation- watching the faces of other children behind the glass and never being able to wake them up to play. BUT his childhood is different to Octavia’s in a few ways that make a big difference and land them further up the list: 1) he’s clearly educated, 2) he has two loving parents even if they are all he has, 3) he has knowledge about the Earth, it’s story and the people from it so has a much stronger and more complex understanding of morality, meaning he’s less judgemental, and he’s also better prepared to interact with others by the time this oppurtunity arises.

They get points for leaving him in Bellamy’s hands, but are automatically relegated a few places for making Clarke his god mother.

8 — Bellamy : yes Bellamy is on this list because yes he is Octavia’s father and nothing you say matters. So every child he’s ever ‘adopted’ has died, but he tries his best to think of these children when nobody else was ever doing that. Octavia’s damaged and her more toxic traits have a tendancy to become amplified in times of high emotion, especially in the vicinity of her brother, but he was just as much a victim in all of this as she was and Aurora is entirely to blame for the disaster that is the Blake sibling relationship (I mean neither of them even had a frame of reference of what siblings look like, how were they to know how to relate to one another?).

He tries. He’s more equipped to and committed than most on this show to helping vulnerable people, he’s proven time and time again he’s willing to do whatever it takes to protect and love his sister, he gets it wrong sometimes, his efforts can be misguided and recieved differently than he might’ve intended them to be. But the facts are: he understands what it means to be a parent, he knows what it’s like to lose their child, he knows what it’s like to pour himself into someone else and hope for the best of them.

7 — Luna : she founded a clan and those people were, in a sense, her children. She kept them safe for years, it was peaceful, life was simple and fulfilling. Clarke observed her interactions with the actual children that lived there and they loved her, she was good with them. Her people respected her.

6 — Monty’s father : yet another heroic father to add to this fucking collectio-

5 —  Ginger dad : in one of the most heartbreaking scenes on this show to date, he does the David Miller thing, or i guess David Miller does The Ginger Dad Thing, and sacrifices his own life to pump more air into his child’s lungs.

4 — Murphy’s unnamed father : in a place you’ll be executed for petty crime, risking it all and stealing something as valuable as medicine just to give your son a chance at more life is commendable. He loved his son (literally) to death. It’s his memory and his sacrifice, like with Raven and Clarke, that pushes him to survive.

3 — Jake :  I think the show has demonstrated quite nicely that Clarke is a daddy’s girl. Jake The Good Engineer, Jake The Good Father, Jake The Hero. He inspires Clarke so much she goes to prison for it. And, like Sinclair-Raven, Clarke’s consciousness dreams him up whenever she’s in an intensely stressful situation and/or feeling hopeless about life and void of direction in general. This was a comfortable and secure bond, and his death marked the beginnings of Clarke’s entire story.

2 — David : easily one of the best fathers on the show, i mean he gave up the oppurtunity of claiming a spot in the bunker just so he could give his son better odds of surviving, he gave up the possibility of being in the bunker with his son. Another fatherly sacrifice for the collection. He loves Miller unconditionally, even when Miller himself feels like a disappointment.

1 — Sinclair : this was an obvious retcon, but still good as long as I don’t think about it. A cute father-figure, the mentor that took a chance on her, the first (or second) person to pick her. Everything about this relationship is sweet and healthy, a nice diversion from the usually exhaustingly complex dynamics. Their relationship was so meaningful, in fact, that it was him who Raven’s dying mind manifested to encourage her to go on living. 10/10.

(and don’t think i don’t peep that bad/cruel mothers, good/heroic fathers pattern here. These writers WACK…)

[sunlit-dancer]

Maral’s Family

[Father] Chinua Oronir - Formerly of the Noykin, he met the twins’ mother during Nadaam one cycle and fell in love with her as he watched her battle. She refused to wed anyone who could not best her in combat, and they fought for well over eight hours before it came to a draw and they fell over, exhausted and laughing. He went back to their encampment where he learned about how they were a branch of the Oronir, the Qayagahara, and became even more entranced by the woman he’d fallen for. They did eventually wed and gave birth to twins: Kirsa and Maral.

Chinua was a laid back individual and his preferred weapon was the spear. As a warrior, he heartily encouraged Maral’s battlelust and saw her potential to be a strong warrior like her mother. With Kirsa he encouraged her to pursue her studies and her interests in the bow. He was definitely that papa who spoiled his children behind mama’s back or tried to get mama to be less harsh on punishments when their mischevious children got into things.

Maral feels like Voren reminds her a lot of her father.

[Mother] Altantuya Oronir - A headstrong woman and sister of the former khatun of their small branch. Having once been considered for the positon of leader of the Fists of Azim in their clan (basically a group of elite warriors. The leader usually is picked to be the next khatun) she actually stepped down to give the position to her younger sister, Erke Khara, claiming she had no want or need to lead their clan, she simply wanted to fight. The actual reason is that she didn’t want to be shackled down with the responsbility of producing heirs to secure her lineage’s position and training them to be strong so they could take her place as was tradition for them. She found all of that tedious and a headache. She also refused to take a mate, claiming she would only wed someone if they could best her in combat.

She eventually met and married Chinua Nyokin as time moved on her stance on children changed. Unlike her other kinsisters, however, she had no desire to have any more children, feeling that twin girls were enough. Altantuya was a strict mother to her daughters, but especially toward Maral who saw disciplinary action as a challenge to avoid/overcome instead of something to fear. Although she was strict, she also defended and loved her daughters dearly, but in the end it wasn’t enough.

[Sister] Kirsa Qayagahara - Maral’s older twin sister. As children, Kirsa was the more studious and obedient of the two, although she got into quite a few antics with her twin. Since Maral has taken over as khatun and separated themselves from the Oronir, she has also taken on their branch name of Qayagahara. Kirsa’s preferred weapon is the bow, although she was in training to become the next udgan, against Erke Khara’s demands.

It was Kirsa who discovered Maral was to be married off to a Dotharl clan, and convinced her sister to leave the clan by telling her to seek out new lands to learn fighting styles and anything else she could bring back to the clan to make it stronger. A few cycles later she too left the clan, only to return to find it wiped out.

[Aunt and Khatun] Erke Khara Oronir - Former khatun of their small branch, she was tenacious and like her predecessors, traditional in wanting to ensure her progeny maintained positions of power within the clan. However, the daughter she trained to become leader of the Fists of Azim didn’t want the position, and saw potential in Maral if only the girl could be properly trained and tamed. And her other daughter was training Kirsa to become the next udgan. It was as if everything her sister had thrown away for her to seize onto was being handed right back to her and she hadn’t done anything to deserve it (in her eyes).

As khatun she ruled well, but her envy and spitefulness toward her sister and her daughters caused her to ignore Torgan’s warnings and visions. She wanted Maral sent away and fought often with her daughter about Kirsa’s training. When both left she was relieved, and refused to believe anyone but her own daughters were meant to take on what she had claimed for the clan.

[Cousin] Torgan Oronir - Former udgan of their branch, Torgan believed that the twins (which was an auspicious omen in their clan) had potential for greatness in their clan due to visions she had recieved and believed to be from Azim. She took on Kirsa as an appretience instead of one of her (many) sisters, much to her mother’s chargin. Although Erke Khara wanted them gone, she desperately urged her mother to reconsider her stance, claiming that defying Azim’s will would invite misfortune to their clan.

It is unknown what actually happened, as Torgan is the only known survivor of the massacre and she won’t tell. It is clear, however, that she is barely holding on to her sanity, as she lashes out at everyone now, including the twins, blaming everyone for the downfall of the clan and even having gone so far as to curse Maral at one point.  It also seems that Torgan’s actions serve some sort of twisted purpose one way or another, as she has been helpful in them rebuilding what was lost in her own, cryptic way.

[funsizedequestrian]

Thoughts At Night

As I lay here, listening to the rain tapping against my window, I think about all that has happened last year, and what is to come this year for me, and my life and future.

After my father passed away, I felt almost lost, and like I was in a rut. My thoughts were dark, and brooding. I would go into different states, from being happy one day to being depressed, and thinking about why. Why did that have to happen to my dad. The one who supported me with my riding, and my other goals. The one who was calm in most situations, and could take a joke and laugh. The one who was easy to talk to.

I felt like I was going in autopilot for most of last year. Visiting my husband in England helped a little bit, shortly after my dad passed, but after coming back to the States, I fell into a rut again. I was depressed about having to endure the distance until the next visit, or until we get our lives in order. He was stuck in a rut, with no success in securing a stable job in England. I was stuck, working at a job that just made me more moody, still not in the mindset of getting a license because of my fear of cars, and of driving, convinced that I was going to die in a car crash due to recurring nightmares of such events happening to me. The relationship with my mother was rocky still. We would either be good one day, or fighting the next. My brother and I would often hide in our own areas, confiding in each other.

The barn, horses, and riding made me somewhat sane, and talking to my trainer helped a bit with my state. I had a good relationship with my trainer, and felt like I could talk to her about almost anything. However, last year, with my riding there was also some bumps. She noticed that I was more tense in the saddle at times, and that I was hunching forward sometimes. This was most noticeable when I was getting back into cantering. Some days were good lesson days, and other days felt like I was just not there with my riding.

Then, when June hit, my grandfather got put into hospital, and passed away. Another hit. Just when things were going okish for 2017, another event just kicks me in the ass. I was numb during my grandfather’s funeral, having experienced my Abuelita passing away in 2013, and my father unexpectedly passing away in December of 2016. I just wanted this shit to be over with.

My husband lands a job in July... great. Maybe we can get the ball rolling on me moving to England. Then October comes around, he loses his job. Back to the drawing board. Back to waiting and visits and stagnancy.

November. I get back into the horse show game, with a Fall Fun Show at the barn. Something surprises me. I overhear my trainer and Mom discussing about horse ownership. My mind is overwhelmed about it, and unsure. I join the conversation with a level head, saying that it is something I had to think about. I know what it takes to own a horse, and the financial responsbility it requires. Of course, owning a horse is something I’ve always wanted. However, I want to be able to provide the best care for the horse.

I think about it, hard and talk to my husband, my friends at the barn, my coworkers, my in laws, and my brother about it. I start writing out a budget, to figure out exactly what I need month to month, and how much it would cost me a year. I take a breath. Think more. I can actually make it work. Ok, let’s go.

I inform my mother and trainer of my decision, and start the process of horse shopping. First ad? Sounds too good to be true, and it was. It was a scammy ad, meant to bait unsuspecting buyers. I found the same ad, posted around the same time, about every year, just change the horse’s name up. Another ad? Horse sounded good, so I responded and the horse was already sold. Another ad pops up. Hmm a Mustang. I’ve always wanted a Mustang. However, found out he had trouble trailer loading, and had trouble picking up canter. Got sent a video, and saw him throw a mini buck when the person got him to canter. Too green for me. This horse shopping business is tough.

Another ad. A nine year old Trottingbred gelding. Bombproof, crossties, loads, 13.1hh, was used as a trail pony, stands for farrier, good feet, easy keeper. Is this another too good to be true equine? And what’s a Trottingbred. I decide to give it a shot and to contact the seller. I find out more about him. I ask if he canters. She says he canters, but it takes him a bit to get to that point. I ask all other necessary questions bustling through my mind that a first time horse buyer should ask. He was introduced to cross rails, and did a bit of arena work. He has the potential to make a good little eventing pony. I get his pictures, and a video of him. I send them to my trainer. My trainer fishes over him, and gives him the thumbs up. My gut is giving me a really good feeling and my heart is telling me to go for it.

Eventually, with trainer and my mother in tow, we go to see him, and to pick him up. At that point, I was thinking “I want to work with him, I have a strange feeling he’s the one.” We arrive to the seller’s place. I see the little chestnut gelding in his stall, poking his head out at me. I give him my hand to sniff, and he blows softly into my palm. I start to stroke him, staring into his brown eyes. My gut is still telling me to go for it, and I have a feeling of calmness, and a filled feeling in my heart. One that was gone when my dad passed away. I ask for him to be led out, and watch him being led. I ask if I can pick up his feet, groom him. He picks up his feet, like an angel. I groom him, and he stands there, calm as I do so and fuss around with him. I lead him out to the trailer to get him tacked. He stands and racks up perfectly. I mount him- I can mount him from the ground. I walk him. He is forward, that is for sure, but calm about it. I trot him around. He had a good, strong trot about him. The feeling of riding him- I just felt right sitting on him. Everything about him felt very right. My trainer comes to my side and talks to me about him, confirming my feelings. About the right age, right temperament, just the right size for my small self, lovely disposition. I decide to go through with it and get him. The seller’s fiancé comes along with a bag of stuff that belongs to the gelding- his halter, two western saddles, two bridles, two cinches, and a stable blanket. We write out the bill of sale. I lead him to the trailer to load. He stops for a moment, looks down to sniff the trailer before calling walking in. He is mine.

We get home, and I walk him to the indoor arena. I lead him around. The gelding looks more alert, after being moved to a new place, but has a soft, kind, learning eye about him. I talk to him gently, and muse about his name. Honky Tonk Jet. It was quirky, and I liked it. His barn name? I called him Jet. I turn him out, and see for myself how fancy his gaits are. He breaks into a lovely trot, before transitioning into a canter. When he settles, he rolls, and eats hay set out for him and the donkey that he is turned out with.

My first ride is in a lesson with him. Jet is a curious, inquisitive little fellow. We just walk around the arena, then get him into a trot. His trot does indeed have a lot of power, and he is a bit fast in it, but something we can work on. All in all, the lesson went great, and I find out what to work with him at his skill level.

Fast forward to now- I have a lovely little pony, whose personality is one that I love. He could not be more perfect for me if he tried. He really shines when he is working, and I could see him thinking, and learning as we work together. We are working on groundpoles, and getting him consistent in his trot and walk. Already, his trot has improved to be more smooth, and his walk is more at ease. I feel more connected to him, like we work as a team.

This year, I am working on getting my permit so I can work toward my license to see Jet more often. When I wake up for work, I go, knowing that I am doing it to provide for my pony. I am less moody about work, and feel more happy. I am also working on getting my husband to the States, since acquiring Jet. He wants to support me in my riding endeavors with him. The relationship with my mother has improved somewhat. She even made a nameplate for Jet, and comes into the barn at times to watch me ride him. I feel like I am not walking on eggshells as much when talking to her. I feel like there are at least some things I can discuss with her.

Even though I have only owned Jet for about a month now, I feel like he has filled an empty hole in my heart. Maybe it was a sign from my dad, or a gift from my dad, but that is silly thinking. Maybe I just happened on Jet by chance. Because of Jet, I feel happier. He has made me more stable, and gives me that drive to want to improve myself for him. I want to say, thank you Honky Tonk Jet, for being my first pony, and for being in my life so far. I feel like that together, we can get through this year easier. I feel like together, we can get through anything. <3