#something 20 times omfg you just miss little things šŸ˜­ SO THANK YOU AGAIN LEGEND šŸ«”
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gothsuguru Ā· 9 months ago
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ARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I FUCKING LOVE YOU <333 also methinks this pic is very US <3
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ARI šŸ„¹šŸ©· I LOVE YOU LIKE YOU ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU MEAN 2 ME AND HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS/COMMENTS LIKE <333 snifflingā€¦ā€¦. sobbingā€¦ā€¦. smooching your brain pleek know that i am holding your hand rn <3 LIKE DOES ARINATION KNOW THAT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH??? THEY BETTER šŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļø sniffling i adore you so much & omg thank you again for taking the time to write all of this i know it takes a while to do it so the fact that you even DID it makes me sniffle <3 love you adore you would die for you etcā€¦ SMOOCH <3 šŸ©·šŸ’‹
knuckle kisses are a favorite of mine theyā€™re just so full of devotion so pure in a way ā€¦ love how often they appeared in the fic and how soft they make him šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ
- A FELLOW KNUCKLE KISS LOVER šŸ¤ i agree wholeheartedly omfg itā€™s literally one of THEE most devoted acts someone can do itā€™s just SO intimateā€¦ā€¦.. makes me go insane <3 AND AHHHHHH iā€™m so glad you caught that! i really wanted to introduce a knuckle kiss in every section whether it be a quick one/one that is very intimateā€¦ā€¦. bc at the end of the day sugu is gonna be soft for it no matter what šŸ¤­
I LOVEEEEE UR DESCRIPTIONS I LOVE UR IMAGERY (<- will be repeating this often i think BUT I MEAN IT OK) and ohhhhh my fucking god kairoā€¦.. one thing abt ur sugu is that he is a SAP and thatā€™s canon to me. u Get him. HEā€™S SUCHHHH A ROMANTIC THE PROMISE RINGS W UR BIRTHSTONES????? ack iā€™m just . the way every single he does has a thought behind itā€¦ a sentimentā€¦.. heā€™s the sweetest ever :(((
- THANK YOU SM I WAS SO WORRIED ABT THAT SO YOU SAYING THAT YOU LIKED THEM šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø WHEW THANK GOD. AGREED HEā€™S 1000000% A SENTIMENTALIST SAP <3 and soooooo FKN romantic likeā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ the aquamarine birthstone shook me at first i like ofc his birthstone is a bright blue gem (satosugu soulmatism) and YES intertwining his birthstone w readerā€™s is so <333 devotion on 100 <3
i truly do adore ur writingā€¦.. it blows my MIND that this is ur first real fic like u are so talented. it makes me sick to my stomach actually. i need to give u the nobel prize in literature these words of praise wont do ā€¦. šŸ˜žšŸ˜žšŸ˜ž AND AHEHWHDHHDHFHDHFHFH THE TONGUE PIERCINGGGGGGGG THE ARI/KAIRO HIVEMIND IS SO REAL i love. ur sugu. not just the mental descriptions but the physical too. like the piercingsā€¦. the tattoosā€¦. sigh. heā€™s so sexy it makes me angry. and the way he gets shyyyy šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ heā€™s a baby . our baby
- NOBEL PRIZE OF LITERATURE NEEDS TO GO TO YOU FOR EVERY SINGLE FIC YOUā€™VE WRITTEN/WILL WRITE. i need you to know the gingko tree comparison in your kenny fic stays in my brainā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. your words are soooo powerful they literally infiltrate my every thought iā€™m NAWT kidding. AND DJJDJDJDJDJD TONGUE PIERCING YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT I LOVE MY MEN TATTED/PIERCED/SCARRED UP šŸ¤­šŸ¤ sugu is so sexy it makes me need my inhalerā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.
had to take a breather after this literally nothing gets me as weak as flower imagery + ribcage imagery and when theyā€™re COMBINED?? i feel ill. i feel like a sheet of paper abt to be blown away into the sunset.
- I LOOOOOOOVE RIBCAGE IMAGERY AND Iā€™M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE FLOWER IMAGERY TOO!!!!!! daffodilsā€¦ā€¦. suguā€™s birth flowerā€¦ā€¦.. sniffles <3 I ALSO FEEL LIKE A SHEET OF PAPER ABT TO BLOWN AWAY INTO THE SUNSETā€¦ā€¦. ari do you ever feel likeā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ a plastic bagā€¦ā€¦. drifting thru the windā€¦.. wanting 2 start again šŸ˜–šŸ˜–šŸ˜–
AND READER ;;;;; theyā€™re so devoted i love the direction u took with them they rlly do feel like his knight in shining armorā€¦. theyā€™re both so smitten and protective and nurturing and it makes me soo :((( so emotional. i think sugu is the most devoted man alive so to be w someone who returns that treatment!!! ā€¦ā€¦.. they could fix him idc
- THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA OMG šŸ„¹šŸ„° iā€™m BEYOND ecstatic that you loved the direction of a devoted!reader bc i, in my heart of hearts, believe that suguru needs someone as devoted as him in his life + he needs someone he can tend to/have a silly lil s/oā€¦ā€¦.. like he LOVES being a nurturer <3 AND YESSSSS theyā€™re both sooooo smitten & protective of another they make me insane. reader is so crazy watch them make him worse and heā€™s just like :3 love my baby <3
this genuinely made me melt into a puddle MY PRETTY LITTLE BABYā€¦ THE HEADPATSā€¦.. MY WEAKNESSES i started purring i wonā€™t lie. humans canā€™t purr but i rlly did. aaaaa and the way reader just meltsā€¦.. šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ theyā€™re the cutest little guy ever and sugu just loves babying them smā€¦ theyā€™re my everythingā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.
- PLEEK READER IS JUST A LITTLE GUYā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ A LIL GOOBERā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.. iā€™m such a SUCKER for any rendition of ā€œmy pretty little _ā€ it itches my brain so good <3 & HEā€™S SUCH A HEAD PATTER he loves praising his s/o <3 AND YESSSSS YOU GET IT HE LOOOOOOVES BABYING THEM methinks itā€™s his favorite pastime <3
this is canon to me btw sugu 100% kisses just like this like heā€™s so intense in a way but also so soft?? def the type to kiss u until ur brain is all fuzzy and he has to cradle u so so softly or else uā€™ll just crumble into a pile of mush ā€¦.
- MHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. INTENSE BUT SOFT. SOOOOOO HIMMMMMMMM. omfg donā€™t get me startedā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. i have an image in my brain where reader is in his lap and heā€™s cradling them while theyā€™re kissing and it makes me crazyā€¦ā€¦.. readerā€™s brain is so hazy and suguru needs to hold them lest they Faint And Pass Out in the arms of a bad bitchā€¦ā€¦.. like how embarrassing would that be omfg </3
SO CUTEEEE i love how this fic is just BRIMMING w gifts!!!! things u get sugu, things he got u, things haibara and nanami got him, things u get satoru .. etc etc etc. there were so many mentions of things being given and itā€™s just so :((( this fic is just dripping w love and care ā€¦. it means sm to meee
- WEEEEEEE (imagine iā€™m on a swing and saying that) Iā€™M SO GLAD YOU CAUGHT THAT!!!!!! i think theyā€™re both suchhhhhhhh gift-givers thatā€™s DEFFO one of their love languages! always getting e/o something whether it be big or small just to let the other person know theyā€™re thinking of them! AND YESSSSSS the besties are no exception <3 hainana giving sugu a personalized gift and reader giving toru flowers/desserts šŸ„¹šŸ„¹šŸ„¹ thank you for saying that the fic is dripping w love and care omfg that means the WORLD to me
ALSOOOOO THE TOJI CHARM PDHKFVFKFJF OH I KNOW HE WAS FUMING ā€¦ā€¦ silly little man getting jealous over a hot anime guyā€¦. reader only has eyes for u dummy !! (idk abt kairo though i think ur gonna have to fight toji for her attention sugu šŸ˜”šŸ˜”šŸ˜” ā€¦)
- LMFAOOOOOOOOO LISTENNNNNNNNNNNN. i just KNOW sugu was real life doing this šŸ˜’šŸ˜‘ like who is that manā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ HE IS DEFFO THE TYPE TO GET REAL LIFE JEALOUS OVER HOT ANIME GUYS like šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ reader is real asf thoā€¦ā€¦. toji lover nation UNITE. suguru is such a HATERā„¢ļø to his core i love that abt him <3 OMFGā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. i have a way where everyone can winā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. sugu & toji i got two handsā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ do w that info what yā€™all will!
THEIR DYNAMIC IS SOOOOO FUCKING SWEET i firmly sincerely believe that sugu belongs with a silly reader . it just makes sense to me. heā€™s sooo smitten w them!!! ur his silly little goose !!! <33
- AGREED 1000000000000% I CAN TRUST YOU TO ALWAYS MF GET IT!!!!!!!! HE NEEEEEEDS A SILLY READER JUST A LOVABLE DUMBASS!!!!!!! HEā€™S MOROSEXUAL I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL!!!!!! YES HE LOVES HIS SILLY LITTLE GOOSEā€¦ā€¦.. HIS SILLY LITTLE BUNNYā€¦ā€¦.. suguā€™s so smitten <3
my knees buckled THE . the grabbing ur faceā€¦. to get ur attention.,,.. CANONNNNNN ITā€™S SOOOO SUGU I DIED and donā€™t get me started on the sitting on his face. stupid silly man it wasnā€™t even his own joke smh ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.. i did melt into a puddle though u wrote him a lil too suave šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«
- GAGGED ME A BIT TOO LIKE OMFG if he ever grabbed my faceā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. nsfw moments would happen i fear. PLEASNDMDNSN heā€™s such a snake like why would you steal readerā€™s line like that omfg fake ass Bitch. AND DJJDJDJDJD THANK YEWWWWW heā€™s so suave when he wants to be <3
AAAAAAAAA THEY REALLY ARE JUSTā€¦. i adore their dynamic i doooooo READER IS SO SILLY i love the implication that they were just like . ā€if u wanna kill me pls sit on my face king <333ā€ theyā€™re so real actually AND WAHHH SUGU BEING ALL GRUMPY šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ heā€™s such a brat itā€™s TRUE and we donā€™t talk abt it enoughā€¦.
- REAL ASF TOO LIKE. methinks they were on a late night drive and sugu parked somwhere dark & secluded so reader said ā€œif you took me here to kill meā€¦ iā€™ll have you know sitting on my face would be much easier. much more preferred.ā€ and sugu just choked on his cherry icee/slurpee while blushing and scolding them but also making out w them so hard in the car <3 then promptly sitting on readerā€™s face when they got back home <3 love them sm <3 YOUā€™RE SOOOOOOOOO FKN RIGHT heā€™s such a grump AND a BRAT and no one talks abt it like omfg heā€™s sooooo bratty and huffy and spoiled sometimes šŸ˜­
like i can visualize him so clearly and heā€™s so gorgeous it makes me feel sick it rlly isnā€™t fair šŸ˜žšŸ˜žšŸ˜žā€¦. all the piercingsā€¦. save me kairo iā€™m abt to crumbleā€¦ā€¦
- iā€™m sooooooo happy you liked that part :ā€™) sugu w the hairpinā€¦ the piercingsā€¦ the sweaterā€¦ boyfie <3
AAAAAA THESE SMALL DETAILS ALWAYS GET ME he offers u the bigger half but u take the smaller one šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ i feel like just these two lines depict their dynamic so well. theyā€™re always always looking out for each other :(((
- HEHEHEHEHEHEHE YOU CAUGHT THAT I KNEWWWWW YOU WOULD šŸ„¹ i wanted to highlight them looking out for e/o in a small way and i figured one person giving the bigger half and the other choosing the smaller half was the best way hehehe <3
AND THIS šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’” kairo u understand himā€¦.. u Get itā€¦ā€¦.. i canā€™t not see him as a huge dork like thatā€™s just what he is. he can act mysterious and suave and cool all he wants but we know the truth!! heā€™s a lil nerdy dork and itā€™s the most charming thing abt him <3333 readerā€™s love for him is also so palpable here ā€¦. they love all sides of him so dearly ā˜¹ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļø
- EXAAAAAAAACTLY at the core of suguru is a Dorkā€¦ā€¦. Nerdā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. Goober. methinks heā€™s suchhhhhhh an astronomy nerd <3 he has so many facets and thatā€™s one of em <3
SOOOOOOO FUCKING REAL THEYā€™RE SO ME i need sugu to scold me i think it would fix me entirely
- PLEASENDNDNDNND I HAD TO likeā€¦ā€¦.. need suguru to scold me sooooooo badddddddddd idk why he can tell me off and iā€™d be MAJOR heart eyes <3
PHDIFJFJFJJD READERā€™S DIALOGUE GOT SO MANY GIGGLES OUT OF ME i support their maybe possibly a scam gift giving tendencies <333
- šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ AND THEYā€™RE REAL TOO! i was looking up online that buying/naming stars is a scam sometimes & reader was just like damnā€¦ā€¦.. itā€™s the thought that counts who gives af <3 and they were RIGHT! sugu was HYPED regardless šŸ¤­
šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«KšŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« KA šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« KAIR šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« KAIROOOOOO U CANā€™Tā€¦ā€¦ JUST CASUALLY MENTION THE NIP PIERCINGSā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.,.,,, šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Iā€™M ALREADY ON THE FLOOR PLS LET ME BREATHE FOR A SECOND ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
- YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT like TRUST that sugu has nip piercingsā€¦ā€¦.. a belly button piercingā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. and a **** piercing <3
(also <33 ur descriptions <3333 yeah. need this man on top of me asap preferably suffocating me w his giant tiddies WHO SAID THAT)
- ā€œneed this man on top of me asap preferably suffocating me w giant tiddies WHO SAID THATā€ I GHOSTWROTE THIS SENTENCE I SWEAR šŸ˜–šŸ¤
ā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļø this part fucked me uppppppp i canā€™t lie it hurts so luch to imagine sugu that way but itā€™s also such a real and important aspect of his character!!! and it shows readerā€™s devotion so so clearly. theyā€™re there for him no matter what!! and he would do the same for them!!!
- AHHHHHH i appreciate you saying that itā€™s such a real/important aspect of his character bc thatā€™s what was in my mind too!!!!! i think his depression is just so. integral to his character and itā€™s not pretty but thatā€™s fine bc heā€™s HUMAN. & YESSSSSS!!!!! reader is always there for him and heā€™s always there for them!!!! theyā€™re both devoted/care for the other sooooo deeply and vice versa
THE TEXTS W SATORU PSHFODJFJJFID THEYā€™RE SO REALLLLL personally i think any readers paired w sugu or toru HAVE to be besties w the other one like it just makes senseā€¦. i love the friendship between all three of them in this !!! toru loves both reader and sugu sm and they love him right back <333
- HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE I LOVEDDDDDDD THE TEXTS šŸ˜­šŸ©· toru really is my bestie like heā€™s readerā€™s bestie heā€™s your bestie heā€™s suguā€™s bestie heā€™s EVERYONEā€™S bestie everyone needs a satoru gojo in their lives <3 THANK YOUUUUUU their friendship is soooooo important to me they love each other so much :>
ā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøi sniffled. heā€™s physically incapable of not being tender when heā€™s with themā€¦. and the way he makes sure to let them know he loves them even in such a miserable stateā€¦ the way heā€™s thinking of them and tending to them hhhhhh i love him sm šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’”
- ^^^ HE IS SOOOOOO TENDER i think again it falls into his nurturing/paternal tendencies like heā€™ll look after them even if heā€™s in no state to! like sugu omg focus on yourself rn bae
I LOVED THIS SO MUCH reader is so so caring and devoted like theyā€™re just overflowing w affection!!! just like sugu!!!! reading this made me so so happy aaaaa ā€¦.., all their favorites!!! :(((( sniffle sniffle theyā€™re the cutest ever ā€¦. made me hungry too šŸ’”
- HEHEHEHE THANK YOUUUUUUU THEYā€™RE A LOVER TO THEIR CORE šŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļø
just so vibrant so warm so sweet!!!! i literally saw it unfold in my brain anime style LMAO like the warm lighting!!! the tears!!! iā€™ve been watching too much haikyuu smh i pictured it just like an emotional hq sceneā€¦.. just so gorgeous and tender
- OMG Iā€™M TUCKING THIS COMMENT INSIDE MY HEART šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ HAIKYUU!! STYLE OH I FUCKING LOVE YOUUUUUUU omg the warm lighting/tears/anime vibes thatā€™s LITERALLY how i pictured it too like a literal hq! emotional scene šŸ˜­ sunset in the bg wind is flowing people are sobbing etc
READER IS SOOOOOOOOOOO DEVOTED IT ACHES this is exactly what sugu deserves!!!! and the vowā€¦ the oathā€¦.. u alr know how i feel abt those this made me a lil insane
- VOWS & OATHS MAKE US SOOOOOOO INSANE LIKEā€¦ā€¦. the DEPTH of their devotionā€¦ā€¦.. disgusting. i love it so much
šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« KAIRO? STOP MENTIONING THESE THINGS IN PASSING DO U WANT ME TO DIE BE HONEST ohhhhhh he WOULD get ur name tattooed wouldnt heā€¦.. and i would simply fall to my knees and weep HE IS A SAP AND I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING
- :3 HEHEHEHEHEHEHE he ABSOLUTELY WOULD. like he deffo tatted it from a time where you wrote your name in a bday card or something and he was likeā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ putting this behind my ear where it will reside near my temples forever and ever <3
LOVEEEEEE THIS DYNAMIC THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE gentle bf x manhandling gfā€¦ā€¦.. the only dynamic everā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦
- MHMMMMMM YOU GET IT šŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļø my reader is so silly they just start turbowashing his hair w no regard for his life omfgā€¦ā€¦.. rip suguā€™s hair follicles you WILL be missed šŸ’”šŸ˜©šŸ«”šŸ˜–
i think his relation to his family was strained at best and thatā€™s definitely the case for almost every sorcerer born into a non-sorcerer familyā€¦.. one of my personal hcs when it comes to sugu is that his lying personality formed when he was very young, because of his ability to see curses :(( i can just picture him telling his parents and being terrified only to have them scold him for itā€¦. because who would take that kind of talk seriously? and that reaction resulting in him just kind ofā€¦ shutting himself off from the the world. not really trusting anyone to understand him.
- oh you 1000000% get it and thatā€™s how i personally see it too! i pictured his family life to be one where he got scolded for saying there were curses and then his parents got upset bc they thought he was lying/going crazy and making stuff up bc they couldnā€™t see what he was seeingā€¦.. and i HEAVILY agree i think over time he would just lie abt not seeing stuff! maybe his eyes are off to the side looking at his curse and his parents are saying ā€œwhatā€™re you looking at?ā€ suguru with a closed eyed smile: ā€œnothingā€ :) i think thatā€™s how he got thru his teenage years just lying. and then i also think it affected his mental health bc he probably thought he was overthinking stuff/going insane but in reality he was just a boy who saw things others couldnā€™tā€¦ā€¦. his backstory is sooooo clouded so i love just thinking abt him when he was younger and his home life. & i agree HEAVILY again on him not really trusting others/not feeling like anyone understands him
obv those r just my thoughts on canon sugu but i LOVE the way u depict his family and their dynamic here bc itā€™s literally exactly how i picture it too!!! not entirely loveless, but strained. suffocating. a cold kind of household where he canā€™t be himself :(( it just makes sm sense in my head u just described his feelings abt it so so well!!! i did in fact cry LMAO it resonated w me so deeply!!!
- thank you SO much that actually means the world to me! i think we both have SUCH similar views on suguru and his family life/backstory! yes - not entirely loveless but itā€™sā€¦ā€¦.. strained & suffocating & not really healthy lmao. like theyā€™re family deep down they love each other but his parents just have a shitty way of showing it. and YEAH a cold household but on the outside they act super warmā€¦ā€¦.. </3 AWHHHHHHH ARI OMG here have a tissue i am holding you softly in my arms šŸ«‚
my favorite flavor of conservative father is the one whoā€™s so deep in the closet itā€™s turned into a casket like ā€¦ ā€he went through the same thing when he was his ageā€ā€¦ā€¦. ohhhh dad i have some news for uā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.
- HDJDJDJDBDJDHDHDHD listen since iā€™m a LOVER of hot mean dilfs ummmmmm i made his dad sexy and bi whether his dad knows it or not šŸ˜­ heā€™s like ā€œweā€™ve all kissed boys šŸ™„šŸ™„šŸ™„ā€ and suguru & his mom are just like ??? like mr. geto was fine asf back in the day in my brain and is STILL fine asf. just stupid and cold tho šŸ˜­
i picture his father as being very cold, very strict, very controlling, while his mother is loving but in a very conditional way. and her reaction here hurts the most because she isnā€™t lashing out, sheā€™s just . acting like it didnā€™t even happen
- YOU GET HIS FATHER PERFECTLY!!!!!! deffo the strict dad, v cold & controlling & overly protective. and yes!!!!! his mom is likeā€¦ā€¦ hmmmm how do i say it sheā€™s kinda like someone who is an overt-babier? like she always thinks that suguru is her little baby boy and canā€™t do anything by himself so she has to hold his hand like soooooo suffocating and that makes suguru so. icked out heā€™s like iā€™m my own fucking man! makes him want to be the one in control of his own life no matter what! i think suguru has control issues also just putting that out there // and yeah i think thatā€™s the part that hurt suguru the most is that she just acted like it never happened.
THIS IS THE PART WHERE I CRIEDDDDDD OK IT JUST GOT TO ME i am so weak for ā€¦.. found familyā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.. characters finding a home of their own after growing up in a broken oneā€¦..,., sugu finding all the comfort he needs in his beloved angel :(( a person that he chose himself!!! who loves him and makes him feel safe!!!! sighhhh they mean the world to me they doā€¦..
- ARI MY BABYYYYYYYYYY Iā€™M HUGGING YOU SO HARD RN AHHHHHH NOW Iā€™M WEEPING šŸ˜­ YES!!!!!! CHOOSING YOUR PERSON!!!!! THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!!!!
AAAAAAAA I ADORED THIS PART SO SM ITā€™S SO FUNNY AND SWEET šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ sugu is just soooooooo angry and protective i love the idea that this particular comment got to him the most bc he can handle abuse towards himself but to his beloved?????? yeahhhhh no . papabear sugu coming out INSTANTLY. and reader just thinks itā€™s funny ohhhh their dynamic kairo šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’” my protectorā€¦. alwaysā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. i collapsed my head hit the concrete etc etc THEY PROTECT EACH OTHER SO EFFORTLESSLY SO FERVENTLY protective sugu just gets me so weakā€¦..
- !!!!!!!!!! SUGURU IS 1000000000000% THE PARTNER WHO GETS PISSED IF SOMEONE SAYS SHIT TO/ABOUT HIS S/O! like shit talk him all you want he really doesnā€™t gaf but if you talk about his s/o? heā€™s hexing you and shouting at you and also plotting murder <3 reader is so funny theyā€™re just like :3 hehehehehe :3 they donā€™t gafffffff šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ PROTECTOR!SUGU ALSO GETS ME SO WEAK OMFG MY HUSBAND
READER IS THE REALEST AS ALWAYS sugu being jealous of ur favorite fictional character is still so real to me like heā€™s such a little loser ā€¦.. do we think he would put on the compression shirt + sweatpants combo just to get u to drool over him instead of toji yes or yes
- NDNDNDNDND HE IS THE TYPE TO GET REAL LIFE JEALOUS AND BE SUCH A HATER LIKE OMFG šŸ˜­ oh you already know he wouldā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.. compression shirt + sweatpants combo and all reader says is ā€œdamn. toji wore it better.ā€ and then suguru just tries to jump out of their window </3 THEYā€™RE BOTH STILL GONNA SMASH THO BC SUGU LOOKS SEXY AS HELL!
I LOVEEEEEEE UR SUGU SM I TRULY DO he just wants to fix anything thatā€™s wrong ā€¦ wants u to depend on him so badly ā€¦ā€¦.. wants to make u happy always always always šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’” i can imagine him being soooo frustrated when u donā€™t allow him to help like i think thatā€™s the one thing that he just canā€™t stand. he needs u to need him :((( needs to soothe u or else he spirals </3
- heā€™s sooooooooooo. insane. like he just ALWAYS needs to be in the know and i AGREE it frustrates him when you tell him not to worry abt smthn bc heā€™s a certified worrierā„¢ļø he needs his s/o to depend on him he needs to nurture him he needs to feel wanted/depended on i think that is such a core part of him šŸ˜­ heā€™s so paternal itā€™s almost disgusting how much he needs to be needed so i think itā€™s him toe-ing a fine line! he just always wants you to be happy and safe and protected that he does/says things that mayyyyyyyy be TOO much šŸ˜­ heā€™s self-aware and working on it tho which is good!
HEā€™S SOOO FATHERCODED SO MOTHERCODED just so nurturing to the point that maybe itā€™s a lil intense sometimes :((( and wahhhh u depicted his overthinking habits so so wellā€¦ā€¦.. heā€™s trying so hard to be good for u!!! to be what u need!!!! :< and heā€™s doing so well but he canā€™t rlly see itā€¦
- ^^^ you always get it like. YES. intense in his nurturing heā€™s SO fucking fathermother coded heā€™s suchhhhh a mother hen heā€™s such a protective dad heā€™s crazy. he really is his parentsā€™ son sometimes šŸ˜­ but in a much better way than them like heā€™s trying so hard to be good just like you said! he just wants to keep you safe and happy and protected no matter the cost :(
i melted into a wholeee puddle one thing that always gets me weak is when sugu treats his reader like theyā€™re fragile ā€¦.. it just gets me so soft AND HEā€™S SOOOO DEVOTED SO CARING IT MAKES ME WANNA CRY he just wants to make it better!!!! he has to make it better!!!!!!! :(( his overthinking is soooo clear here tooā€¦.., he knows thereā€™s a fine line between nurturing and condescending and he wants so badly not to cross it :(((( heā€™s just so naturally paternal like he truly isā€¦ motherly men my beloveds <3333 but it hurts to see him be so hard on himself !!
- MHMMMMMM HE DOES DO THAT!!!!!! he treats them like a baby/fawn like something to be nurturedā€¦ā€¦ protectedā€¦ā€¦ and he just always wants to FIX things itā€™s in his nature i think heā€™s been like that since he was a teenager šŸ˜­ AND Iā€™M SO GLAD YOU SAID HIS OVERTHINKING NATURE IS CLEAR OMG WHAT A RELIEF!!!!! not for him but for me that you noticed that <3 ^^^ motherly men oh yeah heā€™s deffo a mommy. a daddy. in both an insane way and a weird way idk suguru is kinda crazy in the head
SUGU AND HIS DADDY ISSUES MEAN THE WORLD TO MEEEEE this feels so canon tooā€¦.. U ARENā€™T LIKE HIM AT ALLLL SUGU UR THE SWEETEST GUY IN THE WORLD :((((( sniffleā€¦. he overthinks sm but he really is so wonderfulā€¦ā€¦.
- SUGU AND HIS DADDDDDD they make me crazyā€¦ā€¦.. i imagined his dad to be such a hot mean dilf but also just someone who had outdated views on what it means to be ā€œthe man of the houseā€ like it was definitely a patriarchal house! REAL! he tries so hard not to be like his father like thatā€™s his worst nightmare omg šŸ˜­ youā€™re so much better than him sugubear i PROMISE you king
READER IS SO REAL FOR THIS iā€™m like that too šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ AND KAIROOOOOOO HERE WE GO AGAIN I JUST CANT CATCH A BREAK IN THIS HOUSE SMH sugu w ā€¦. reading glasses ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« i genuinely started breathing so heavily heā€™s so sexy it pains me
- I KNEWWWWWW YOU WOULD LOVE THE READING GLASSES OMG ME AND YOU ARE LIKE THIS šŸ¤žšŸ¼ him in glasses is sooooooo sexy it makes me clinically insane i need him sooooooooo bad it makes me look STUPID
šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ this was just the sweetest thing.,. i KNOW it meant sm to sugu too like u just get him kairoā€¦.. heā€™s a sentimentalist!!! he WOULDDD cry i know he would itā€™s canon ā€¦. sugu is a crier to me i think he falters sm when heā€™s faced with a love thatā€™s so tender and warm :(((
- HEHEHEHEHE THE BIGGEST SENTIMENTALIST!!!!!!! HE LOVES PERSONALIZED PRESENTS THE MOST IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!! heā€™s a creative so anytime someone gives him something that they created from their heart/soul he treasures it SO dearly that it melts his heart like it makes him SOOOOO emotional šŸ„ŗ agreed omg heā€™s really sensitive sometimes and definitely a crier when heā€™s overwhelmed w such tender emotions <3
KAIROOOOOO I GENUINELY MWLTED i know ive said that like 50 times so far BUT THIS TIME I RLLY RLLY MEAN IT like it was justā€¦ā€¦ attack after attackā€¦ā€¦.. hitting every single one of my weak spotsā€¦ā€¦ this scene made me feel so SOFT i thought i was gonna turn into jelly :(( the soft beckoning !!!! the tears and coos and kisses !!! MY LOVE ā€¦ā€¦. MY SWEET GIRL ???????????? UR SO CRUEEEEELLLLL THATā€™S MY GREATEST WEAKNESS MY BREATH HITCHED pls donā€™t get me started on my little doveā€¦.. pls dont ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. the fondness of it all .. i cried i need him so BAD itā€™s not funny anymore šŸ˜žšŸ˜žšŸ˜žšŸ˜žšŸ˜ž
- AHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH i was soooo worried it was TOOOOOOO much but also i needed to add every little pet name in there or else i wouldā€™ve died šŸ˜­ my sweet girl & my little doveā€¦ā€¦.. sugu would 1000000% call his s/o those things while softly beckoning them over <333 heā€™s a Real Loverboy <3 AND A COOER! loves to coo at his baby
AAANNNDDDD THE FINALEEEE WOW WOW WOW I CRIED this was the perfect way to end itā€¦.. the devotion and loyalty and love !!!!! KISSING UR RINGGGGGGG i knowwww he wants to marry u so bad it makes him look silly AND THE WORDS :((( i hope google translate didnā€™t butcher it lmao BUT AAAAAAAAA iā€™ll love you foreverā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ hhhh. just encompasses their love so well :(( itā€™s just so steadfast and so soft . and the promise of marriageā€¦ā€¦. sigjhhh theyā€™re just so SMITTEN it makes me so emotional!!!! i rlly do adore their dynamic to the moon and back šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ
- THE ENDING WAS SO FAST BC I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO END IT OMG BUT THANK YOU SM šŸ˜­ i was also worried i wrote it mad confusing but iā€™m glad that you got the idea that i wanted to present which was that he wants to marry the reader <3 AND YES YOUR GOOGLE TRANSLATE WAS RIGHT! and finally suguru kisses HIS belovedā€™s knuckle <3 on their promise ring <3 sniffles omg these characters are so dear to me i finally understand what writers mean when they love their lil characters like i Get it now <3 AND THANK YOU ARI OMG Iā€™M SO THANKFUL YOU ADORE THEM HEHEHE THEY ADORE YOU TOO <3 šŸ©·šŸ©·šŸ©·šŸ©·šŸ©·
AAAAAAAAA KAIRO THIS WAS JUST SUCH A TREATā€¦ā€¦. i rlly hope u can feel alllll the love i have for this fic and u and sugu from these reactions!!!!! so many parts of this made me feel so emotional and it was just written so so well and thoughtfullyā€¦ā€¦. ur characterization and imagery and everything is just so perfect !!!! :(((( this is also one of the tastiest sugu depictions iā€™ve ever had the pleasure of seeing (<- is still thinking abt the nip piercings PHDKFJFJFJ) u just wrote him in such a lovely way that feels so canon to me!!!!!
- EVERY SINGLE WORD YOU WROTE ME IS TUCKED DEEP INTO MY SOUL LIKE I WILL BE GOING BACK TO THIS RB SO MANY TIMES JUST TO HAPPILY READ EVERYTHING YOU SAID OMG you just got everything/understood what i wanted to show/say so i appreciate you so much :3 AHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! iā€™ll do my best to do better in the future! :D i need to reach ari-level one day (unattainable but iā€™m fine w that bc you are in a league of your own and iā€™m eating every single word you write in your storiesā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. iā€™m sukuna and your stories are his fingers) chomp chomp chompā€¦ā€¦. munch munch munch <3 (also you mentioned you got a wip of comparing suguā€™s eyes to the milky wayā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ gonna need that snippet STAT pleek & thanks šŸ™šŸ¼) AND OMFG?????????????? YOU SAYING THIS IS THE TASTIEST DESC OF SUGU YOUā€™VE HAD THE PLEASURE OF SEEING IS THE HIGHEST FKN PRAISE I LOVE YOUUUUU šŸ˜­šŸ©·šŸ˜­šŸ©·šŸ˜­šŸ©· trust bestieā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. iā€™m thinking of those nip piercings every single dayā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ every single nightā€¦ā€¦.. <3 & šŸ„¹šŸ„¹šŸ„¹ THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT you saying i wrote him in a lovely way that feels canon is the best praise i can possibly receive :ā€™) i love you so much ari omg thank you for taking the time out of your day for not only reading this but also WRITING all of this!!!!!! I APPRECIATE AND ADORE YOU SOOOO MUCH MWAH MWAH MWAH!
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a treat for youā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. look at his jawline. gagged.
black is the color of my true loveā€™s hair
ā™” your devotion to suguru is second to none - you would do anything for your beloved! bonded by true love, loyalty, & utter admiration, these are a few moments where suguru has been unbelievably thankful for you & smitten by your acts of love & service! (a story from my suguru geto: valentineā€™s day fic list!)
a/n: belated birthday fic for my beloved husband suguru geto <3 the title of the fic is based on a rendition of the song ā€œblack is the colourā€ by celtic woman! imo itā€™s the most loving & devotional song iā€™ve ever heard so i wanted to do a story based on those themes with my favorite black-haired man <3 MY true love <3 p.s. this is my first time ever writing an actual fic & it got a bit long because i got carried away so please bear w me! i hope you enjoy and happy valentineā€™s day! <3 MWAH!
- f!reader, no curses au, reader is short/blushes/has hair that can be ran through with fingers! slightly suggestive, cursing, mentions of depression/anxiety/self-destructive behaviors. but i promise this is a soft, fluffy fic! itā€™ll make sense when you read it! dividers are from @saradika! w.c: ~ 11.5k
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itā€™s a simple action, really.
you tilt your head slightly to the right and lift your face up to gaze adoringly at him through your lashes, a mirthful twinkle dancing in your eyes. a soft smirk coupled with a light blush adorns your angelic features, a precious look, which suguru has come to be utterly enchanted by due to the loving action that follows immediately after.
you catch him off guard the first time you do it.
the first time you kiss suguruā€™s knuckles, he falters.
itā€™s the way that you do it. naturally & effortlessly, as if itā€™s like second nature, that causes suguru to stop in his tracks and dedicate all of his attention to you.
his mesmerizing gaze is directed at you, molten gold eyes inquisitive. irrevocably fond.
he attentively watches as you softly grab his large warm hand in your small cold one. his hands are slightly rough yet supple due to his religious use of the honey-almond handcream you bought him earlier in the week.
he notices, rather than intertwining your fingers with his own and holding them, you smoothly bring his hand up to your face, wrapping your digits loosely around the perimeter of his long slender fingers.
your thumb gingerly caresses his ring finger (the one that holds a devout vow of eternal love), your featherlight touch raising wonderful shivers across his body. with the utmost care, you delicately, as if heā€™s made out of precious china, brush your supple glossed lips against his fingers, relishing in the coolness of his promise ring that encases both his aquamarine birthstone & your own.
your low-lidded enamored eyes never leave his affectionately curious ones ā€” both of you preciously holding the other ones gaze. eyes locked in a staring contest of love.
utterly content with his undivided attention, you gently press a soft kiss to his knuckles.
a sign of affection.
an act, a promise, of complete & utter devotion.
his pierced eyebrow raises slightly due to the suaveness of your actions. he tries to gather his bearings, his brain fuzzy with your actions ā€” did you actually just do that?
suguruā€™s amber eyes widen significantly, soft black eyelashes fluttering like raven wings against the tan of his cheek thatā€™s blushed with a hue of raspberry red. mouth slightly ajar in surprise, his silver lip ring glints like starlight in the sunset daze of the evening, while his pierced tongue is pressed against his own cheek to stop himself from becoming a bumbling, stuttering mess.
if he speaks ā€” he wholeheartedly believes all thatā€™ll tumble out of his lips will be unabashedly fervent divulgances of: ā€œi love you. i love you. i love you.ā€
adoration blooms out of his ribcage like a meadow of daffodils, sweetness enveloping around his heart, soft ivory petals and sage green tendrils wrapping themselves delicately over his bones. he reckons that if you couldnā€™t hear his heartbeat hammering out of his chest before, you definitely can now.
itā€™s almost as if his brain is in clouds of cotton candy, his mind in a sweet haze of shock, love, & affection. he finds himself whispering airily, ā€œwhyā€™d you do that?ā€
tenderly stroking away silky strands of ink-black hair that wisp around his ethereal face, the fond smile you grace him with is saccharine sweet, ā€œi felt like it.ā€
unbelievably charmed, he canā€™t help the giggle that spills its way out through his mouth like honey, a syrupy-sweet sounding little thing. his shaky fingers cover his rosy lips slightly as he laughs bashfully. heā€™s a bit shy because of it, but you donā€™t think a sound has ever been so melodious to your ears. youā€™d get down on one knee to kiss his knuckles reverently as many times as he wants just to hear his laughter over and over and over again.
the way you see it, itā€™s as if you were put on this earth to devote yourself to him.
like a loyal knight kisses the ring on the hand of their king with the utmost veneration, youā€™d do the same. without question, worshipping the ground whereupon he stands like a faithful follower would do to a cult leader. you figure in all of the other multiverses, youā€™re ultimately doing the same thing as what youā€™re doing in this one: loving him ā€” devoutly. earnestly. passionately.
if the look of ardent rapture on your face is anything to go by, suguru might faint with the rush of pure love & endearment that flows like nectar throughout his veins.
he feels his blush bloom over his warm face which rushes towards the tips of his pierced ears, a clear sign of you flustering him.
wanting to gain back some semblance of control of the situation, he puts on a poker face, a gentleness in his eyes & a fondness in his smile still shining through. his black-nail polished thumb grazes your soft wind-chilled cheek. a beacon of warmth. a caress of admiration accompanied with a well-maintained faƧade of smoothness. a comforting touch for the both of you.
ā€œwell, arenā€™t you just so sweet.ā€ suguru canā€™t help the coo that escapes his cherry red lips when you look up at him with your precious doe eyes, ā€œmy pretty little baby.ā€
he softly pinches your cheek, admiring the soft plush. he cradles your cheek with the same hand, & carefully smoothes down your hair thatā€™s been strewn around a bit by the evening wind with the other. suguru pats your head in a nurturing manner in the process, another fond coo escaping him when he sees you preen at the attention he gives you, affectionately watching you revel in the flattering treatment.
your eyes widen with joy, always keening with any praise he showers you with. ā€œiā€™d like to think so! now come on sugu, your pretty little baby has a lil surprise for you!ā€ you playfully wink at him, your smile beaming like sunshine.
your warm eyes map his stunning features reverently, memorizing his elegant visage. drinking in his otherworldly beauty. as if you could never get enough.
while you openly admire him, suguru does the same to you. he doesnā€™t think that heā€™s ever been this enamored by a human being before. youā€™re the center of his universe, and he canā€™t imagine his life without you. all he can see in this moment is: you. his intense gaze holds yours as he captures both of your cheeks in his warm gentle hands, enveloping himself in your space. the perfume he bought you for your birthday invades his senses, clouding his mind in a welcomed haze.
all he can think of at the moment is: you. you. you.
all he can repeat in his mind is: mine. mine. mine.
his eyes gleam with a newfound sense of desire, wanting to show you exactly what you mean to him. what you do to him.
his golden eyes that are now an onyx, dilated with desire, flit to your mouth. his thumb outlines your pretty lips that are begging to be devoured by his own. his right hand moves to cradle the back of your head, tilting your face up so he can comfortably take control. long, slender fingers splay across your hair, bringing you closer to him, slightly tugging the strands to hear and feel you gasp against his mouth. he presses his left hand against the small of your back, coaxing you further into his body, fusing you both together. not wanting to be even a millimeter apart. he just canā€™t get enough of you.
itā€™s like a magnetic gravitational pull when he presses a soft, sensual kiss against your glossy lips. the cold metal ball in his pierced tongue explores the wet cavern of your mouth, and he canā€™t help but moan softly into you, relishing in your warmth.
he prays to the stars above, hoping that he can convey his sincere love, desire, & admiration for you like this. he breathes life into you and you do the same to him. kissing you with such vigor & passion, he feels like melding your lips & souls together wouldnā€™t be enough. he burns with a hunger to become one with you. he pleads to the universe that the intensity of his desire and yearning is relayed to you ā€” that you crave it, crave him as much as he craves you.
with the way heā€™s ravenously kissing you, and how youā€™re excitedly kissing him back, it seems like you certainly received the message.
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suguru thinks itā€™s a little bit funny, but very much endearing, when you run around the living room like a bumbling fawn.
you zig-zag around the counter, making sure you pick up the purse that suguru got for you on your previous anniversary, an acrylic charm of your favorite anime character clinking against the metal fastenings. (another gift that suguru got you, begrudgingly he might admit, because who the hell is that toji fushiguro guy anywaysā€¦)
you double check that all the contents you need are inside: phone, charger, lip gloss, mini perfume, credit cards ā€” AH! you run back to your room like a panther, not wanting to forget the most important thing you need for tonight!
he canā€™t help himself but laugh at your frazzled antics. ā€œbaby, you can calm down! weā€™re going on a picnic, itā€™s almost impossible for us to be late!ā€ suguru admires your punctuality, he thinks itā€™s sweet how you never want to keep him waiting.
ā€œFORGOT SOMETHING, I ALMOST DIED.ā€ you rush back to him, big goofy smile on your face.
ā€œbabyā€¦ youā€™re heaving.ā€ suguru covers his mouth, trying not to giggle out loud at how out of breath you are just by running a few feet. youā€™re so fucking cute.
ā€œdamnā€¦ā€ you huff out, hands on your knees, trying to get a deep breath in. ā€œdonā€™t call me out like that.ā€
he canā€™t help the laugh that bellows out of him, ā€œsorry angel, now letā€™s go!ā€ he places his large hands against your back, ushering you out the door quickly, ā€œyou still havenā€™t told me where weā€™re going.ā€
walking you towards his black mercedes, he opens the passenger side for you. with both hands on your hips, you remind him that, ā€œitā€™s a SURPISE!ā€
after around 45 minutes of both of you jamming out to your playlist in the car, poking his cheek while childishly asking ā€œare we there yet?ā€ just to annoy him for fun, and ultimately being a proper passenger princess who tells him to ā€œjust trust me!ā€ when he asks where you two are going, you both arrive to your destination.
and the sight that he sees, enthralls him. he whistles, beguiled by the view. from here, he can see how pretty and bright the stars are, it almost looks like theyā€™re twinkling a ā€œhello!ā€ at the both of you. suguru thinks to himself, a picnic here at night? heā€™s unbelievably mesmerized at how your brain works sometimes.
he turns to face you, watching how engrossed you are in your phone, tapping away incessantly. wanting your full attention, his fingers grab your chin gently to force you to look him. he jokingly purrs, ā€œif you took me here to kill me, iā€™ll have you knowā€¦ sitting on my face would be much easier. much more preferred.ā€
you raise your eyebrow questioningly.
ā€œbecauseā€¦ itā€™s dark and weā€™re in random clearing.ā€
you stare at him blankly. ā€œokay, youā€™ve hung out with me waaaay too much because i literally said that pick-up line to you last week and now youā€™re blatantly stealing itā€¦ like a THIEF. and also? you drove us here. who the hell is gonna drive me back if youā€™re dead?ā€
his brows furrow and he pouts, annoyed that you didnā€™t fall into his arms and blush because of his (your) raunchy words. he turns away from you and opens his door to leave, brattily huffing out a, ā€œhmph. shut up, dumbass.ā€ with his head held up high in the air, he struts away pompously to the trunk, opening and closing it loudly. a picnic basket with food you both made together in one hand, and a soft quilt of constellations made by haibara & nanami for suguruā€™s previous birthday in the other.
how fitting.
you loudly snicker to yourself while getting out of the car, amused by your boyfriendā€™s spoiled antics. while suguru is front of you admiring the view and trying to find a spot to set up, you admire the view in front of you. whistling out a, ā€œdamnā€¦ā€ suguru scoffs at your flirty behavior and gives you the finger. you send an air kiss back, and he playfully swats it away.
when he turns away again, you smile to yourself dreamily. taking out your phone, you click a quick candid of him against the night sky, admiring at how he looks like a painting.
the cream of his sweater and the contrast of his cascading ink-black hair entrances you, the silver hairpin you got him during a coupleā€™s trip to kyoto in the top of his bun. the dangling deep violet amethyst gem glints in the moonlight, making him look even prettier. he turns his head to the left, from here you canā€™t see his eyebrow piercing or his lip piercing since theyā€™re both on the right side of his face, but you do see his eyebrow slit ā€” a scar which youā€™ve softly traced over many times. his side profile allures you effortlessly, the angular bridge of his nose and the soft cupidā€™s bow of his lip offering up a beautiful contrast that is suguru: graceful yet strong.
shaking your head slightly, you break out of your trance.
you go back to the task at hand, opening your notes app and ticking off the word at the top of your list.
stargazing. āœ”ļø
you remember suguru mentioned it in passing one day when you were both in the beginning stages of your relationship. it was on his date bucket-list ever since he could remember, and of course you wanted to be the one who would take him!
you guide him over to a little meadow overlooking the city. surrounding you both are beautiful moonflowers, their sweetness enveloping your sinuses. the air is cool and crisp, and in the distance you hear the faint chirps & buzzing of hummingbirds along with the faint caws of ravens. youā€™re proud of yourself that you were able to find a place this picturesque. (even to this day, you still have an urge to impress suguru in any way that you can.)
both of you sit on the quilt suguru sets down, the homemade cloth providing an extra layer of cushioning that you feel atop the softness of the grass.
youā€™re upon the hill clearing, close enough to the city that you can comfortably drive back while still seeing a few citylights from where you are, but far away enough that the light pollution wouldnā€™t interfere with the date you had planned.
ā€œitā€™s pretty.ā€ suguru glances at the view, praising you while taking out the tonkatsu sandwiches, pasta salad, & chocolate covered strawberries from your picnic wicker-basket. you pick up a bag of chips and start munching on it while he lays down on his back propped up on his elbows, opening up a banana milk to sip on.
ā€œiā€™m glad you like it,ā€ your words are muffled in between loud crunches and fast chewing, ā€œi was worried weā€™d be attacked by a mountain lion or a swarm of bees or some shit.ā€ you say honestly.
he blinks. ā€œi wasnā€™t worried about that. but i am now.ā€ he takes another sip of his banana milk in case itā€™s his last.
he sits up and picks up the tonkatsu sandwich, handing you the bigger half. ā€œbut seriously, howā€™d you find this place?ā€
you take the smaller half from his grasp instead, switching with him. taking a bite, you hum happily. suguru is such a good cook. he smiles at you fondly and you answer him, ā€œi was searching up good places to look at the stars. out of all the pictures and reviews, this was the prettiest one.ā€
you look up at him and swear that you see an actual twinkle in his eyes.
ā€œstargazing?ā€ he pushes his bangs back behind his ear, leaning into your face. loudly repeating, ā€œSTARGAZING???ā€ nose pressed against yours, an excitedly manic look in his eyes.
he throws his head back and waves his arms in the air, lamenting, ā€œi shouldā€™ve bought a fucking telescope!ā€
he directs his gaze back towards you, pointing his finger at you accusingly while demanding, ā€œwe are coming here again in the future, okay? iā€™ll bring all of my astronomy gear: a telescope, binoculars, a constellation book, and oooooh! maybe iā€™ll also bringā€¦ā€ you unintentionally tune him out, looking at him adoringly with stars in your eyes.
this is what you wanted to see.
if youā€™re being honest with yourself, the best thing to experience in your life is getting to see suguru act genuinely excited. his eagerness to discover new things is infectious, and the man before you is the real suguru: dorky, eclectic, passionate.
the graceful, poised, & elegant man you see when he meets new people and the air of sultriness & suaveness he has when he takes you on fancy dates are utterly enchanting & beguiling, but you think that suguru you see before you now ā€” the excitable nerd, is the most beautiful.
he flicks your forehead, breaking you out of your reverie. ā€œhave you been listening to a word iā€™ve been saying?ā€ he scolds you while pinching your cheek extra hard.
ā€œyeah, you want a telescope so you can look at the stars. also, you look really prettyā€¦ the stars ainā€™t got nothinā€™ on you.ā€ you rest your chin in your hand, smirking at him, reveling in the blush that paints his cheeks. it was just the cold wind!, heā€™d tell you later while playfully smacking you upside the head.
you continue, ā€œplus, itā€™s really hot when youā€™re all stern and tellinā€™ me off. whatā€™s my incentive to listen to every word you say if i can get you scoldinā€™ me instead?ā€ you tilt your head against your hand, grin wide, teeth bared. the masochist in you wants him to scold you even further.
he crosses his arms at you, muscles bulging out of his cream cableknit sweater. your eyes drink up the adonis right in front of you, mentally undressing him. ā€œinstead of hitting on me, how about i explain all of the constellations to you in extreme detail?ā€ he purrs to you while biting his lip. he flips his hair over his shoulder, sultrily looking at you. you see right through him of course, knowing that heā€™s appeasing to your attraction to him just so he can ramble about ursa major, ursa minor, & the big dipper.
frankly. it works.
he holds his hand out to you. a truce.
you shrug. ā€œif you do it like a hot stern professor, then sure.ā€ you both shake on it.
he rolls his eyes playfully, trying to stop the smile that threatens to creep up on his face. ā€œugh. fine. be quiet and come over here.ā€ he picks you up underneath your thighs and puts you in between his legs. your back pressed against his warm, sturdy chest. he kisses you on the head, appreciative of your indulgence of him.
you giggle cutely and move yourself down, laying your head in his lap while he softly plays with your hair. his lovesick gaze, fond smile, & warm thighs envelope your body, filling your senses with suguru. he leans down and presses a soft kiss against your forehead, an addicting contrast of his cold lip ring & warm soft lips electrifying your skin.
he pops a single chocolate-covered strawberry in your mouth, and you playfully nip his finger. he traces your lips softly and starts playfully lecturing you about the constellations that grace the night sky.
he excitedly points at a cluster of three bright stars, ā€œand that is orionā€™s belt!ā€
you point at a bright star in the night sky a few lightyears away from it, grin unbelievably wide.
ā€œi think you might be missing one, babe. and you call yourself the modern-day galileo. heh.ā€ you playfully tease him.
suguru rolls his eyes, ā€œokay first of all, i have never called myself that. second of all ā€” excuse me?ā€ his scoff is slightly haughty, & he canā€™t help the indignant laugh that escapes out of him. ā€œalright, since you know so much ā€” enlighten me then, whatā€™s that one called?ā€
ā€œhmmā€¦ i believe itā€™s sugurugeto-020390.ā€
suguruā€™s eyes widen ridiculously like flying saucers.
ā€œwhat?ā€
you push yourself out of his grasp to pull out a certificate from your purse and hand it to him. you sit next to him cross-legged, gauging his reaction.
ā€œtrust me, i wish i could get a better name for it, but it turns out thereā€™s a lot of suguru getoā€™s in the world.ā€
pausing for a moment, you want to make sure that your boyfriend knows that heā€™s the only suguru geto on your mind.
giving him bedroom eyes, you purr, ā€œnone like you of course.ā€
he blinks. ā€œwhat?ā€
your face falls comically, and you pout, ā€œthat bright star in the sky is yours.ā€ you point at it haphazardly. ā€œyouā€™re the light of my life, you illuminate my life, youā€™re the sole star and center of my universe, blah blah blahā€¦ so i figuredā€¦ ya knowā€¦!ā€ you gesticulate wildly, and in the moonlight suguru can see the slight blush on your cheeks. your eyes looking everywhere else but his own.
youā€™re shy.
he can feel the sinus pressure building up against his nose and the tears glaze over his eyes.
you scratch the back of your head, trying to save face. you quickly backtrack, ā€œi know itā€™s a bit cheesy and honestly, technically, this was probably a scam, but i figured it was the thought that counts andā€“ā€
ā€œshut up.ā€
you look up at him in a state of shock, ā€œHAH???ā€
he grabs your cheeks, his silver rings cool against your face, and smashes his lips against your own, teeth slightly knocking against yours. in his excitement, he pushes you down and straddles you, pinning you down to the grass ā€” his body a comforting weight on top of you. he kisses you breathlessly, moaning loudly in your mouth. you can both taste the fruitiness of the strawberry on each others tongues, your own being pressed softly against his piercing. you pull away softly, needing to take a breath.
and the sight above you is one you donā€™t think youā€™ll ever want to forget.
suguruā€™s seductive low-lidded gaze is locked on you, parts of his bangs wisped across his face from the momentum of pouncing on you. heā€™s breathing heavily, and you can feel his rapid heartbeat hammering against yours, his nipple piercings slightly poking into your chest. a rosy blush spreads itself on his cheeks like a strawberry jam, and you donā€™t think any view could compare to the one youā€™re blessed to see now.
his lips are red and glossy, aching to kiss you again. you nod softly, begging him to continue. he slots his lips back with your own, tracing your bottom lip with his tongue before he bites down sensually, groaning loudly when he hears you whimper. he curls an arm underneath your body while kissing you passionately, bringing you closer to him, enveloping you into his space. all you can think about in this moment is: suguru. suguru. suguru.
pulling away once more, and peering deep into his amber orbs, you think that his eyes carry the most beautiful stars. a milky way of ochre and obsidian.
never casting your fond gaze aside, you intertwine your hand with his, bringing it to your lips, kissing each knuckle fervently.
his alluring gaze follows your devoted actions. butterflies brush their wings together inside his stomach, the flutter erupting throughout his whole entire being. he thinks that in the moonlight, underneath the canopy of stars thatā€¦
you are the most brightest.
the most beautiful.
the most meaningful.
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ļæ½ļæ½honey! iā€™m hoooooooome!ā€
you feel unbelievably ecstatic that you can finally get to see your dear boyfriend after two weeks of being apart!
you already have the whole day planned out, perhaps you two can get takeout from your favorite local restaurant and watch anime together! you giggle happily to yourself while thinking about how you both can snuggle and have a cozy day in.
you take your shoes, coat, & purse off by yourself, wondering if suguru is out. usually by the time youā€™re at the door, suguru is already there welcoming you back with a massive kiss and a ā€œmissed you baby.ā€ softly whispered in your ear, especially if you go on a long tripā€¦
hmm, thatā€™s a bit odd.
now that youā€™re looking aroundā€¦
the apartment is in complete disarray.
it looks like a tornado blew through the whole place.
you shuffle in furtherā€¦ and dirty dishes are piled in the sink, overflowing dangerously. suguruā€™s clothes, random knick knacks, and pillows are strewn about as if he threw them all in a fit of rage. crumbs litter the carpet and you see what looks to be dirt tracks on the floorboards. the laundry is stacked high and the air is stuffy, it seems like no windows were opened in the time that you were away.
worriedly, you run into your shared bedroom.
suguru is there, thank god safe & sound, but what you see breaks your heart.
heā€™s laid face down, the left side of his cheek smooshed into the pillow, black tear tracks staining the fabricā€¦ he mustā€™ve cried on a day when he went out? the bedroom is filled with dirty clothes on the floor, and youā€™re pained to smell the stench of cigarettes in the air. itā€™s lightā€¦ maybe he only smoked oneā€¦ but the fact that he felt the need to smoke at all, shattered your soul.
especially considering he quit ages ago when he started dating you.
you walk towards him lightly, not wanting to scare him off. his eyes are open and he looks at youā€¦ but heā€™s not really looking at you.
ā€œyou alright there, precious?ā€ you softly whisper.
a perfunctory question. you know heā€™s not. he knows heā€™s not. but you know heā€™s in no state to answer any questions that you have.
ā€œmhm.ā€ he hums quietly. lethargic, not even having the willpower to answer with anything but a light rasp.
you brush back his bangs, and he shudders. his hair is greasy, oil-black hair clumping together in some places, matted in others. his lips are slightly chapped, a bit bloodied no doubt from his habit of biting his lip when heā€™s anxious. his fingernails are no stranger to the same action, stubbed and jagged down to the nailbed, his black nail polish chipped. bright amber eyes which often have a gentle look in them have turned into a dull ochre, obsidian pupils overtaking his irises.
theyā€™re still gentle because heā€™s looking at youā€¦ but if youā€™re being honest with yourself, his eyes remind you a bit of a black hole right now.
vacant of light.
you press a soft kiss against his forehead and leave the room momentarily, thinking to yourself if anything can be done about this situation.
you decide to shoot satoru a quick text, seeing if he can help you out a bit with what you want to do.
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you breathe out a sigh of relief, a small smile gracing your face. you can always count on satoru. the man may be silly and eclectic, but at the core of his being, heā€™s someone who will always take care of and look out for his friends. heā€™s the type of person to drop anything to help those that he loves and adores.
(sometimes you think that satoru really was an angel put onto earth.) (but then you think that he was probably cast out of heaven for being a little shit.) (regardless, you still fucking love him for it.)
you walk back into the room, and lay your head against your pillow that is next to suguruā€™s. (it smells like himā€¦ he mustā€™ve hugged it while you were away.)
cradling his cheek, you quietly say, ā€œsatoruā€™s also back from his business trip babe, heā€™ll be coming in about 10 minutes. how about you get a bit of sunshine with him, hmm?ā€ he blinks slowly, nodding softly.
you hold his hand to help him up out from the bed, but he shoos you away, admonishing you slightly, ā€œi can do it myself.ā€
you nod and leave him to it, mentally preparing yourself for the behemoth cleaning task ahead when he leaves.
suguru pads slowly into the bathroom and puts his hair up in a high ponytail with a hairtie he stole from you, not wanting to deal with it. he washes his face and gets a wet rag to pat down his body and underarms, not having the energy to shower. putting on a random black sweatshirt, he douses himself in your favorite cologne of his. he puts on your strawberry lip balm while popping a piece of mint gum in his mouth. with a tired sigh, he exits the bathroom, dragging his feet to where you are at the door.
he kisses your temple gently. you plant a soft kiss his against knuckles. you think your eyes deceive you see a semblance of a twinkle in his eyes. ā€œlove you baby. iā€™ll bring you back somethinā€™.ā€ he rasps out softly.
even in his darkest times, even when his mind is playing tricks on him, heā€™s still thinking of you. wanting to take care of you. desiring to show his affections towards you in any way that he can.
you simply want to return the favor.
satoru arrives, wearing a crisp white button up and black tinted glasses, his snowy white hair shining like starlight thanks to the sunbeams that hit him. he hugs suguru gently, placing a soft kiss against his temples. suguru, dressed in all black just nods his head lightly at him. heā€™s not really interested in going out but knows that you two will force him regardless, reminding him that getting sunshine and looking at different scenery is important.
as they get into the car and back out of the driveway, suguru waves lightly at you, eyes tired yet gentle. satoru winks at you, proud & thankful that suguru has someone that cares so deeply for his mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.
waving them both a goodbye, you go back inside and put on your cleaning playlist, ready to get started.
the first thing you do is open up the blinds and windows, wanting to air out the stuffiness that had built up over the past two weeks. considering the fact that suguru got a tinge paler and his undereyes looked sunken, you donā€™t think he got even a single beam of sunshine or any semblance of fresh air in the time that you were away.
padding over to the kitchen, you begin by doing the dishes. wearing your matching baby blue dishgloves, you get to work. it seems like suguru got anxious by seeing all the dishes piled up and started using some paper plates, which would explain the overflowing trash as well. the dishes are caked with food, but soften a bit by dousing them in water along with spritzing a powerwash grease-lifting spray. you sigh happily, glad that this will make it easier. after washing, drying, and putting away the dishes, you turn your attention to the kitchen surfaces.
you wipe down the counter and dining table in circular motions with a lemon-verbena spray, disposing of any old particles of food and random dust that lay upon the surfaces. already in your cleaning mode, you start to feel a little bit more energized.
opening up the refrigerator, you see that itā€™s been practically untouched. unfortunately, you gag when you smell rotting veggies and fruits, promptly rushing to your kitchen cabinet to get your trash bag to toss any old food away. you mentally remind yourself to get groceries in the morning, maybe if suguru is feeling a bit better after today you both can go together!
walking into the living room, you get your cleaning towel to beat the dust out of all the furniture. usually you & suguru both start with the bedrooms, but this time you figure youā€™d start with the living room as itā€™s in a bit of a better shape than the bedroom.
after you finish beating the living hell out of your cushions, you get to swiffering, mopping, and vacuuming ā€” humming and singing loudly to suguruā€™s favorite songs on your shared cleaning playlist.
you go into the bedroom and start by gathering all of the clothes on the floor and the ones in the hamper to put inside the washing machine. you look around and do the same with the bedsheets and pillow cases, rubbing the eyeliner out of suguruā€™s pillowcase with some makeup remover first.
cleaning out all of the drawers, you make sure to throw away any random trash and only keep whatā€™s necessary. clutter bothers both you and suguru, so you do your best to try and minimize that. you pick up empty bottles off the nightstand and throw them away. at least he drank a bit of water.
turning your attention to your bookcase, you wipe down the multitude of pictures of you & suguru that he put in frames.
thereā€™s a few of both of you smiling after going on cute dates ā€” suguruā€™s grin unbelievably wide while flipping off the camera and holding you close to his chest as you laugh loudly. thereā€™s ones of you gazing at him adoringly, your love for him seeping out of the picture. thereā€™s others of him looking at you ā€” a soft fondness in his eyes, an even softer smile gracing his lips, his affectionate gaze tuning out anyone and anything else that isnā€™t you. both framed and pinned to the wall are multiple candids you two took of one another when the other wasnā€™t looking or paying attention, bursts of love immortalized in random moments of time.
you tell yourself that the sniffle you do is just because of the dust.
clearing your throat slightly, you look around proudly. youā€™re done!
you spray each room with a cotton spray, inhaling the fresh linen scent happily. you light up a teakwood candle that suguru bought a few weeks ago in the living room and put a sandalwood diffuser in the bathroom, freshening up the place. you take a well-deserved shower, feeling properly clean and accomplished.
by the time youā€™re done, itā€™s around 5:30 P.M in the evening and satoru texts you that theyā€™re on their way and will be back home in approximately 30 minutes.
you get a can of sprite, his preferred soda, out from the fridge and put it on the counter. you decide to place an order for takeout from suguruā€™s favorite local spot, one that sells cold zaru soba noodles, his favorite food. you place another order at his favorite bakery for matcha crepes, his most loved dessert. the zaru soba will come within an hour and a half, but the dessert will come sooner so you also order a flower delivery too ā€” a cute little surprise which will come within the same amount of time as the crepes.
you figure that youā€™ll also do the same for satoru, a little thank-you present for when he comes back to his own apartment. you order a bouquet of narcissus & holly for him, internally hoping that he likes it. you also order all of his favorite desserts from his favorite bakery! knowing that he will happily fill himself up on raspberry macarons, strawberry cake, vanilla mochi, chocolate donuts, & zunda cream kikufuku to his heartā€™s desire.
walking back into the bathroom, you get the most important part of your night started.
suguru finds his heart a bit lighter when he comes back to your shared home. he didnā€™t want to admit it to satoruā€¦ but he actually had a fun time eating, shopping, and listening to his hilarious stories about his shitty business trip. heā€™d be lying though if he said that he wasnā€™t most excited to see you after a long, eventful day.
in his hand are a bunch of shopping bags from stores that satoru dragged him to ā€” clothes from your favorite stores, accessories & bags that you most wear, shoes that you need, books & knick knacks that you like ā€” all for you. he bought a few for himself of course, but he mainly wanted to spoil you. he canā€™t help the small smile that creeps up on his face when he thinks about how excited youā€™ll be to see the gifts he got you.
thinking back on it, the guilt and shame he felt in his heart when you first saw him earlier today ate him up. he didnā€™t even know why he was feeling the way he was feeling so strongly. it was coincidence that it coincided with your trip, and he made sure that he would sound fun and happy over text as to not worry you. it wasnā€™t until a few days from when you were actually set to arrive that he didnā€™t even have the energy to talk or text you.
hell, he didnā€™t even have the energy to keep the apartment tidy or keep himself in check either. another pang of guilt hits him like a freight truck. he concludes that heā€™ll give you a spa day so he can clean everything up, not wanting you to worry about the mess he made.
he knows from the bottom of his heart that youā€™d never judge him or make him feel small for feeling the way he felt, he just feels so bad that he couldnā€™t even muster up the energy to greet you the way you deserved to be greeted. to kiss you. to hug you. to have a delicious dinner together and snuggle with you.
but no. after a long trip you had to come home and be worried for him. have the apartment be in disarray, have to see him be in disarray. fuck, you were worried enough to call up satoru.
he swears to himself that heā€™s gonna make it up to you. he swears thatā€“
oh?
what?
suguruā€™s eyes widen, hands weakly dropping his shopping bags on the floor.
the entire apartment, top to bottom, is spotless.
dishes done and put away. dining table clean. living room tidy. is thatā€¦ a bouquet of daffodils, his birth flower, on the counter? he also sees the bag from his favorite bakery right next to it tooā€¦
he walks around, astonished, at how youā€™ve made the apartment look brand new.
he reaches the bedroom and sees that the bed is made. his clothes have been clean, dried, and put up in hangers inside his closet. the nightstand, dresser, and bookcase all spotless and wiped free of dust.
a fresh smell envelopes his sinuses. he swallows the lump in his throat. did you smell the single cigarette he smoked? it seems like you aired out the whole apartment. in front of him is a beautiful sunset that waves at him from outside. a sunray beam kisses his cheeks. suguru blinks and feels something wet trailing down his faceā€¦ it tastes salty on his lips. but feels so warm and sweet.
ā€œsuguru?ā€ your angelic voice calls to him.
he turns around and sees you. fresh and clean, a beacon of warmth and illumination. a light blush dusting your cheeks no doubt from all of the hard work youā€™ve done.
ā€œi ran you a bath. you up for it?ā€ you tilt your head cutely at him, a silent plea in your eyes for him to agree.
feeling like his voice will betray him if he speaks, he nods softly. grabbing his hand, you take him to your shared bathroom, also totally spotless. your hands are soft and small in his, warm for once, because of you taking a hot shower and checking the temperature of the water for suguruā€™s bath. a sandalwood scent envelopes his nose, no doubt from the diffuser you put inside. he sees the romantic candles and rose petals around the bathtub and he canā€™t help the smile that overtakes his face.
ā€œfor me?ā€ he rasps, a teasing tilt to his voice.
ā€œalways. everything and anything i do will always be for you.ā€ you say it seriously. genuinely.
to you, itā€™s a vow. an oath.
his eyes widen slightly, but he closes them momentarily, not wanting any more tears to spill. he crinkles his eyes and smiles at you softly.
ā€œyou joining me?ā€ he undresses, taking off his sweatshirt and t-shirt. showcasing his tan skin, toned abs, & muscles. his nipple piercings & belly button piercing are on full display and he giggles lightly as you ogle at his body, watching your eyes trace his numerous tattoos & piercings, absolutely mesmerized.
ā€œmaybe next time,ā€ you smirk, a playful twinkle in your eyes. ā€œfigured i could do a little pamper session, is that alright with you?ā€ you ask him caringly, wanting to make sure that heā€™s comfortable with it first & foremost.
he fears that if he speaks any louder than a whisper, the love that overcomes him will drown his airways. he rasps out a small, ā€œyeah.ā€
always. anything and everything you do will always be right for me.
he gets into the bath and you try to not let your eyes trail down, instead focusing your gaze on his dragon tattoo that encompasses his entire back along with the mythological japanese creatures that trail up his arms and ribcage like tapestry. you see one of your favorites, a black and white beta fish upon his ribs, submerged underneath the water heā€™s in.
from this angle, you can also see your name that he tattooed behind his ear. smiling to yourself, you sit behind him, ready to begin the pamper session.
his sloshes the rose petals around with his fingers. the water is warm, is his first thought. i wish you were in here with me, is his second.
your fingers stroke his hair softly, lulling him into a false sense of security, and then you get to work, vigorously rubbing in his lavender shampoo. he canā€™t help the laugh that escapes him. for some reason anytime you two would take baths or take showers together, you would always wash his scalp aggressively. ā€œthis is how i wash my hair sugu! whatā€™s a little run through gonna do? we gotta keep clean!ā€ did clean mean damn near ripping out his hair follicles? possibly.
heā€™d never stop you or scold you however, he thinks itā€™s hilarious and an endearing trait of yours. when he washes your hair he makes sure to be as soft and careful as possible, almost lulling you to sleep. when you wash his hair however, itā€™s like youā€™re turbowashing a pickup truck. he figures this time heā€™ll give you a pass (he always does) considering that he doesnā€™t think heā€™s washed his hair in around a week and a half.
ā€œgonna rinse now, okay?ā€ he hums quietly, closing his eyes.
this almost feels like a purification process to him.
you lather shampoo in his hair once again wanting to do a double cleanse, this time a bit more softly. you massage his scalp, and he tips his head back. you start from the crown of his head, working in circular motions, using your fingertips. then you go to the roots of his hair, pressing and lathering, pressing and lathering, pressing and lathering.
you push his head forward slightly so you can clean the back of his head too, massaging the pressure points in his scalp. you were always a good masseuse, therefore a deep sigh escapes him, tension leaving his body by the second. (this might be the first time in two weeks where heā€™s been able to breathe comfortably.) you run your fingers throughout the clean strands of his hair, humming a little tune to yourself.
ā€œthey called me.ā€ your hands still for second, but resume back to carefully twisting the water out his silky black hair. you stay quiet, knowing that when suguru speaks he prefers to get it all out there first.
ā€œmustā€™ve been like, what, two days after you left?ā€ a humorless laugh escapes him. ā€œthey always know when to fuck up my mood. i swear.ā€
he sighs tiredly. ā€œthey went on a whole spiel about how i need to come back home and find a ā€˜real jobā€™ as a hotshot lawyer or some fancy businessman, as if i donā€™t run my own tattoo parlor. as if iā€™m not also a real fucking businessman. like, do they think i donā€™t make any money? that i canā€™t comfortably take care of us both?ā€ he rolls his eyes, getting annoyed again just thinking about how long the same repeated conversation had gone on.
suguruā€™s family is relatively well-off. heā€™s genuinely thankful that both him & satoru never had to worry about how to put food on the table or be worried about not being able to spoil the people that they loved.
itā€™s just that his parents were angry that their picture-perfect little boy wanted to spread his wingsā€¦ see a world that had more to offer than quiet dinner table meals filled with tension and pointed jabs at one another guised as ā€œcaring advice.ā€
their image of suguru started to get distorted when he first showed up on their doorstep with his gauges. an act of rebellion. he couldā€™ve worn small simple diamond studs but he wanted to make an impression: iā€™m my own person. even as a 13 year old boy, i can make this decision on my own. he remembers the way his father said he looked foolish. how his mother held her hand over her heart, in shock that her little baby boy had tainted himself in such a manner. what would others say?
suguru remembers looking in the mirror after the whole fiasco & thinking: godā€¦ theyā€™d say i look so fucking cool.
then it started with sneaking out to go on late night drives with satoru, shoko, nanami, & haibara. theyā€™d jam out to random songs on the radio, get slurpees & snacks, and sit in satoruā€™s car just talking about life and their future for hours. suguru still remembers the way his bangs wisped across his face, the crisp night air purifying his soul, the stars in the sky illuminating the landscape. the world seemed bigger those days and the gang were enjoying their teenage years. enjoying their youth.
he remembers coming home, his father waiting for him on the couch, pointing to the seat next to him, forcing suguru to sit down. his fatherā€™s arms crossed, black turtleneck making his muscles bulge slightly out of his sweater, his specs on the bridge of his nose making him look so serious. suguru found it easy to make eye contact with everyone in the world, but with his father he couldnā€™t help but look away sometimesā€¦ so he redirected his gaze to the tiny delicate beauty mark near his fathers right eye. a small little thing that made his father look a bit moreā€¦ prettier. nicer. less daunting.
ā€œwhere were you?ā€ the timbre of his fatherā€™s voice rattled his bones. he muttered those three words quietly, but it still shattered suguruā€™s eardrums regardless.
ā€œout. with my friends.ā€
he scoffs. ā€œsome friends they are.ā€ a deep resounding ring of utter disappointment comes from his fatherā€™s words.
suguru sneers at the man, pissed that he would even think to disrespect suguruā€™s choice of friends like that. ā€œyeah, theyā€™re the best.ā€ not an ounce of sarcasm lacing his words. his own mood dampened, nevertheless.
he recalls stomping all the way upstairs and slamming the door with all his might. sitting on his bed and resting his head against the window pane, eyes looking up at the same stars he saw when hanging out with his friends.
the stars seemed so far away from suguruā€™s room.
the world looked so big. suguru felt so small.
then one day, months later, suguru kissed a pretty boy. he canā€™t quite remember his name anymore, just that his lips were soft and his eyes were kind. suguruā€™s parents found out. his dad was surprisingly fine with itā€¦ he just assumed it was a phase, he went through the same thing as his son did when he was his age. his mother howeverā€¦ she just acted like it never happened the next morning. as if it wasnā€™t just a part of who he is.
his parents thought he was rebelling for the sake of rebellion. in actuality, it was suguruā€™s true self coming out. he was just getting more comfortable in his own skin. he was tired of being the picture perfect beauty who always was demanded of being polite, poised, & graceful. it was always too easy for him to put on a fake smile and manipulate others into doing what he wanted for the sake of his familyā€™s reputation, itā€™s what he was taught. being at that house, it felt like he was kept on a tight leash, restricted from living his life. he felt caged like a birdā€¦
but he just wanted to be free.
all he wanted was to just truly be himself in this world.
a kiss against his scalp breaks him out of his reverie.
rightā€¦ he was here with you. he doesnā€™t have to spiral or worry anymore. youā€™re here. with him.
youā€™re here, youā€™re here, youā€™re here.
he shudders softly, taking your hand, holding it tight within his grasp. anger laces his next words, ā€œthey also said itā€™s time i get into a ā€˜real relationshipā€™. whatever the fuck that means.ā€
you giggle. you know that his parents arenā€™t too fond of you. youā€™re not exactly of the sameā€¦ class or status as them. at least thatā€™s what suguruā€™s mother told him.
he huffs out a single dry laugh, ā€œiā€™m glad youā€™re giggling about it because i nearly popped a fucking blood vessel screaming into my phone when they said that shit.ā€
ā€œmy protector.ā€ you coo to him.
a light blush tinges his cheeks. always.
he presses a kiss against your palm. ā€œi think it just made meā€¦ spiral a bit, yā€™know? reminded me of when i was kid and they made every little decision for me. i mean iā€™m a fucking adult now ā€” i can decide what i do, who i wanna be, and who i want to be with.ā€
so when he got that phone-call from them on that day he was supposed to go to some rock concertā€¦ he did the one thing he promised himself heā€™d never do again. he lit a cigarette, and cried his eyes out into his pillow.
while sobbing, he remembered when he was in his early twenties and heā€™d sleep around with anyone and everyone, smoke blunts & cigarettes, go bar-hoppingā€¦ do everything the picture-perfect pretty boy would never be allowed to do under his parents roof. his family just made him so miserable that he would do anything to not think of them.
he heard your voice in his head, reminding him, that instead of continuing on that self-destructive streak, he got his shit together. art & drawing was always his safe haven, so he found himself an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlor, getting a job as a piercer and ultimately working his way up to being a tattooist. he owns his own place now ā€” all his hard work & effort paid off.
his mind travels back to you. his true love.
ever since the moment he met you, he was mesmerized by your beauty, your personality, and your loving words & actions.
suguruā€™s heart and sobs only calmed down when he thought of you. his beloved. his angel. his reason to be. he hugged your pillow a bit tighter that night, imagining it was you.
ā€œiā€™m proud of you, you know.ā€ you say it so genuinely that it tugs on his heartstrings, making his heart skip a beat.
ā€œyouā€™ve been through a lot of shit with your parents, but at the end of the day, you chose to follow what your heart desired ā€” not whatever they wanted. youā€™re successful in what you do and you made the right decision. it doesnā€™t matter what the hell they say, because they donā€™t know the effort and time it took you to get where you are.ā€ you say it so passionately, that suguru believes every word that comes out of your mouth. his heart racing, thankful that somebody fucking understands him.
ā€œyouā€™re kind. youā€™re caring. youā€™re so unbelievably loving. youā€™re always looking out for others and helping anyone that needs itā€¦ youā€™re a good fucking person, suguru. i hope you know that and realize that. it doesnā€™t matter what anyone else says, you are good. what you do is good. who you are is good. itā€™s an honor to be able to love you and be with you. i hope you know that.ā€
for the first time in a while, suguru turns around and really looks at you. the way you bare your soul to him so effortlessly, the way you smile so sweetly at him, the way you make him feel like heā€™s your one true love.
ā€œiā€™m so thankful for you. i love youā€¦ and i want to be with you, too. always.ā€ his voice breaks a little, overcome with emotion.
suguru hugs you tightly, neither of you caring about the wetness on your clothes. suguru puts his entire spectrum of feelings towards you into the hug ā€” an apology, a thank you, and a proclamation of love.
voice a bit shaky, he laughs, ā€œsorry for getting you all wet. i know how much you hate drenched clothes.ā€
ā€œyou apologizing for getting me wet? now thatā€™s a first.ā€ you purr playfully, glad to see him in better spirits.
a loud laugh bellows out from suguru, deep within his gut. he kisses your lips preciously, and sits back down in the water, urging you to continue.
the mood now is far lighter. the air thick with a sweet steam.
you rinse his hair and gently put his lavender conditioner through his hair. massaging it in, running your fingers through his silky smooth strands. you put his hair up in a clip for a few minutes to let the product soak in. he washes it out himself while you start the shower, making sure you put in his favorite honey-almond bodywash. he gives you a silly yet oddly sultry show when he lathers himself and he promptly comes out, steaming and refreshed. you help him do his skincare routine, softly rubbing each and every product into his skin. he towels off and sits down, hairbrush in his hand, looking at you.
ā€œhere, letā€™s do this first.ā€ you blow dry his hair, taking your time and allowing suguru to lull his head back onto your front, the soft black tresses of your belovedā€™s hair feeling much more revitalized in your fingers. you then brush his hair, gently, carefully. the entire time, you notice that suguruā€™s eyes are closed and heā€™s smiling to himself. you kiss him on the top of his head, and he turns to kiss you back. eyes closed, his lips puckeredā€¦
but just then, the doorbell rings.
ā€œOOH! perfect timing!ā€ you scurry off. you leave a pouting suguru who huffs out a little ā€œhmph.ā€ annoyed that whoever was at the door took a very well-deserved kiss away from him.
he patters softly to the kitchen where youā€™re setting out cold zaru soba noodles for him along with a can of sprite and matcha crepes. all of his favorites.
you hold a bouquet of flowers. daffodils.
ā€œfor you.ā€ you curtsy, a mirthful twinkle in your eyes. he graciously accepts them from you, a shy smile and light flush across his cheeks.
ā€œthank you.ā€
kissing his knuckles you whisper, ā€œanything for you.ā€
for once in his whole entire life, suguru doesnā€™t think he can bear to look you in the eye. your adoration is so unbelievably intense, it feels like itā€™ll burn a hole inside his heart. does he deserve so much goodness in his life?
ā€œyou deserve more than what i can give you. iā€™ll spend my whole life making sure you realize that, suguru.ā€ you say to him honestly. ā€œif youā€™ll allow me of course.ā€
he kisses you on the lips softly, hoping that you can feel how thankful and lucky he is that he has you. ā€œlikewise.ā€
he clears his throat. ā€œokay, cā€™mon. iā€™m starving. i wanna watch that stupid anime and shit talk that hot guy you like on screen while we snuggle.ā€
ā€œheā€™s the best character, suguru!ā€ you huff indignantly. clearly he canā€™t be talking about thee toji fushiguro???
ā€œbabe. he SUCKS.ā€
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he knows you so well, he muses to himself.
he knows how your breath hitches after he nuzzles his lips against the curve of your neck, that the skin is sensitive there, but not as sensitive as your right ear. he knows that because of the way your knees buckle as he whispers soft romances to you, intense shivers overtaking your body. he makes sure that his arm is always wrapped tender yet firmly around your waist when that happens, trapping you against his unyielding body.
he knows what makes you tick. on the rare occasion that you allow your emotions to overcome you, he knows how to comfort you. he leaves you alone for a few moments so youā€™re able to gather your thoughts & assess your bearings, and then he invites you into his warm embrace. he lets you lay your head in his lap as he strokes your hair gingerly, easing your soul with both honest and kind words. adorning your face with soft kisses and even softer caresses. a cocoon of protection.
it seems like these days, however, he hasnā€™t had a proper grasp on you. you canā€™t hide a single thing from him, he knows that you would never willingly do so either.
itā€™s not like you want to anyways ā€” not that you intend to, at least.
but itā€™s an aching feeling in his chest, nonetheless.
earlier in the week, youā€™d softly shut your bedroom door whenever you saw him, pretending as if you couldnā€™t see each otherā€¦ as if he wasnā€™t there. itā€™s moments where he found you haphazardly digging for shit in your drawers, tucking whatever it was into your pockets and padding away softly to your room. youā€™d stay in there for hours, only coming out when he knocked on your door to tell you dinner was ready. he heard lots of rustling and you pretended as if you were just chilling in there, as if nothing was going on. sometimes when he knocked on your door to see what you were up to, all he heard back was an ā€œiā€™m busy, baby! iā€™ll be out soon!ā€ then it became even more odd, youā€™d quickly shut off your phone whenever he came into the room and would plaster a bright smile at him as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
he sighs to himself. he trusts you. he loves you. he knows youā€™re not doing anything heinous.
butā€¦ why wonā€™t you tell him whatā€™s bothering you? donā€™t you trust him to fix whatever is wrong? it eats away at his mind & soul that you think you have to hide whatever it is thatā€™s taking you from him. donā€™t you know that heā€™d drop anything for you? thatā€™s what being in love is for, right?
his eyes peer at you from the couch, studying you. he calls out to you softly, ā€œangel. can we talk, please?ā€
a statement posed as a question. he knows this. you know this. you answer regardless.
ā€œsure.ā€
you walk towards him, intentionally adding a lackadaisical swagger to your steps. to fool him. you know it wonā€™t, he knows it wonā€™t. but suguru isnā€™t anything if a man who doesnā€™t indulge his beloved.
he pats the seat next to him on the couch. inviting. as if heā€™s giving you a choice, even though you know you have none at the moment. ā€œsit next to me, my love.ā€ his smile is taut like a string, amber eyes shut closed so you donā€™t bear witness to the tears that threaten to spill.
he knows youā€™re hiding something.
he doesnā€™t like not being in the know.
is it something he did?
is it something you did but are too afraid to tell him?
since when were you afraid of him?
were you alwaysā€“?
in the few seconds it takes you to sit down, a myriad of questions race through suguruā€™s head, creating a spiral of untamable negative thoughts. you would talk to him if something was wrong, right? you both have a healthy communication and always talk things over with each otherā€¦ so whatā€™s different now? do you not trust him?
suguru chastises himself, thoroughly.
of course you wouldnā€™t want to speak to someone like him.
always the overthinker. always the nagging negative nancy. always the manic-depressive.
sometimes suguru fears that he acts more like a father to you rather than a boyfriend.
that heā€™s a bit suffocating. too intense. very overbearing.
a warm hand engulfs both of your small, cold ones. he hopes that it comes off as sweet, as caring. because he himself is sweet and caring.
at least he hopes he comes off like that.
ā€œis everything alright, sweetheart?ā€ a soft whisper. he speaks placatingly to you like youā€™re a newborn fawn and any loud noises or large movements will make you jolt and run away. ā€œi feel likeā€¦ youā€™ve been avoiding me recently. andā€¦ā€ he takes a deep breath. ā€œlisten, i donā€™t know if itā€™s something i did, but you need to tell me, okay? you have to tell me so i can make it better.ā€
he thinks he sounds nurturing. kind. paternal.
he also thinks he sounds so fucking condescending.
he closes his eyes and a picture of a man darts across his eyelids like an overdeveloped photo.
strict, heavy-handed, cutthroat.
paternal and protective to a fault. a man who was always ā€œrightā€ even when he was wrong.
an ā€œapatheticā€ man who bore a child who thought too much ā€“ felt too much.
a flash of a sophisticatedly handsome man with obsidian shoulder length hair, serious low-lidded eyes, and a firm closed mouth sears itself across suguruā€™s brain like a charred photograph.
he flings away the afterimage as quickly as it came. pretending as if he never even thought of it.
he gulps, swallowing the fireball in his throat. god, he really doesnā€™t want to be likeā€¦ him. having a majority of his features is enough, he does not want to inherit that manā€™s personality.
suguru absentmindedly rubs the slit in his eyebrow, his grip unintentionally tightening on your hands. he releases moments after, not wanting to cause you any pain.
ā€œeverything is fine with me sugu, i promise you.ā€ you reassure him. ā€œit wasnā€™t my intention to avoid you or make you feel like you did anything wrongā€¦ i am so sorry if it came off like that.ā€ you answer him honestly. your head is tilted to the side like a little puppy, brows furrowed, upset that you made him feel like you were trying to get away from him.
ā€œno, no no no no no, baby itā€™s not your fault.ā€ he quickly grabs your cheeks, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. he brings you against his chest, hugging you tightly. ā€œdonā€™t apologize honey, iā€™m sorryā€¦ i just got into my head a bit.ā€ he quickly placates you and kisses the top of your head. you shouldnā€™t be the one to suffer because he started to anxiously overthink and spiral.
he looks at the time on his watch. itā€™s a few minutes past midnight. you both should go to sleepā€¦ maybe you can talk it over in bed or in the morning with clear heads.
you exhale softly, shaking your head faintly. you press a delicate kiss against the corner of his lips. telling him, ā€œgive me a sec.ā€, you walk over and into your room.
he nods and watches you saunter away, putting his head into his hands. godā€¦ him and his big mouthā€¦ he sighs, anxiety crawling up his throat once more. he really didnā€™t want to upset you or anything, he angrily tells himself to apologize to you when you get back.
hearing you shuffle closer to him, he lifts his head.
in your hands is aā€¦ huge book?
ā€œi wanted to give you this tomorrowā€¦ well technically today, but i guess it doesnā€™t really matter.ā€
he tilts his head, confused. you present him with the thing youā€™ve been working so hard on.
you smile at him so softly, he thinks that his heart is about to burst. ā€œhappy birthday, suguru.ā€
birthdayā€¦? oh god, it is his birthday.
he gently takes the present from youā€¦ itā€™s a scrapbook.
ā€œdonā€™t look at it in front of me! okay, bye!ā€ you quickly sprint into your room, not wanting to be in the room when suguru looks at such a personalized present.
blinking, he grabs his reading glasses from the coffee table, and opens the book, flipping through each page carefully.
photobooth pictures, polaroids, kodak film pictures, movie ticketes from your dates, admission tickets from amusement parks heā€™s taken you to, and multiple candids of both him and you - many of which he hasnā€™t seen.
one of them looks awfully familiarā€¦ did you take this the day you took him stargazing in the meadow? his fingers brush against his trembling lips, trying to stop himself from sobbing.
is this what you were doing?
he feels so stupid.
but godā€¦ does he feel so fucking loved.
youā€™ve immortalized every single moment of your relationship with him. nothing being too small for you to be excited about, carefully keeping everything.
he sees the little pressed flower of a daffodil enclosed in wax paper on one of the pages, probably from the first time you gave him a bouquet. the first time anyone has presented him with flowers without wanting anything in return. when asked about the occasion, you simply shrugged and said ā€œjust felt like itā€ & then quickly kissed his knuckles, zooming out of his apartment to run errands. he remembers how bashful he felt. how thankful he was. how loved that experience made him feel.
he moves his glasses upwards, wiping the tears across his lashline and the ones that stream down his face. he clears his throat slightly, and continues flipping the pages. youā€™ve drawn little doodles (things that heā€™s already planning to get tattooed on him simply because they came from you) and youā€™ve written beautiful, personal messages. encapsulating your adoration for suguru in the margins ā€” genuine words filled with your love, devotion, and admiration for him.
he sniffs loudly and tries to wipe his face the best he can. he tenderly calls out your name, beckoning you over to him, and you get up out of your shared bedroom to pad softly into his open arms.
ā€œmy love.ā€ he stands up and walks over to you midway. he hugs you so tightly while pressing your head against his beating heart, his arms protectively enveloping you. the space between you two is nonexistent, and suguru surmises that he wouldnā€™t have it any other way.
conveying his thankfulness and love to you, he sweetly says, ā€œmy sweet, sweet girl.ā€ a soft kiss pressed against your hair, ā€œmy heart beats for you, forever and always.ā€ from anyone else itā€™d sound cheesy, but from suguruā€¦ you know he means it from the depths of his soul.
ā€œmy little dove.ā€ he coos so fondly, sweet candied sugar dripping from every syllable. he holds your face in his gentle hands, openly divulging his admiration for you, ā€œyouā€™re so precious to me, you know that? i love you. i love you. i love you.ā€ a tender kiss pressed against your soft lips between each proclivity of adoration.
you smile graciously, thankful and relieved that he adores your present and that he especially adores you. you knew out of any of your presents that you were going to give him today, that this would be the most meaningful. suguru has always been the ultimate sentimentalist, and you wanted him to know that you care for him so deeply. that you love him. adore him. that your heart beats only for him. pushing back a black tendril of your true loveā€™s hair behind his ear, you kiss him gently. both of your lips fitting together perfectly ā€” like a lock & key.
you bring his knuckles upon your lips, preciously kissing his promise ring, ensuring to him that your love and devotion runs deep, deeper than anything in this world.
ā€œi love you too. happy birthday, my love.ā€ his hands are so gentle. his face is so sweet. suguruā€¦ your one true love.
if you asked suguru to describe you in three words, heā€™d say you were: devoted. loyal. loving.
he has four more of his own on the tip of his tongue that heā€™ll say to you when he musters up the courage.
with a soft kiss upon the ring on your knuckles, and an even softer smile upon his lips, he lovingly breathes out, ā€œē§ćÆ恂ćŖ恟悒ę°øé ć«ę„›ć—ć¾ć™ā€
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