#somepone else in teh room (communal bathrooms)

[oysterie]

god like. there is a very specific thing in games i cannot do and its completely why i bought undertale on switch instead of just downloading it on the computer when games get messed up like the entirety of genocide rout ut ykwim. i cannot do that i cannot watch those compilations of hidden in the files game videos even as an adult they scare me i have to fucking close the video (i got re into them 2 years ago for a bit and had constant paranoia and seeing shit in the corners of my eyes and around me etc) like the scary faces added to stuff yeah but even like. the giant pastel easter egg behind that wall in the ps2 futurama game its so dumb but it literally ruins my life for 3 months after any exposure to that. especially on laptop i cannot play games on laptop/computer it feels so much more real idk why. like scary things in laptop are more scary than scary things in my tv. anyways all this to say that ive been consuming ut and deltarune lore and theory videos because i am insane and i cannot ever play genocide rout ut i watched the clip (part of a longer vid abt chara) where at the end they talk to you and then their face gets messed up i cannot do that idk if this is some pixel 4 year old they are apearing in my peripheral vision and like its not them its like other normal nightmare stuff that triggers my paranoia but for whatever reason im hardwired that fucking. video game easter eggs like hidden ones trigger it. i refuse to go to therapy so pretend i said all this to a therapist and then i get up and leave before she responds. anyways all this to say i hate my intense paranoia that is so easily triggered (by many things other than this) its not even delusions anymore there are simply so many things out there. welcome to my twisted mind i understand this sounds so like. minute and overreacting i get that but idk how to phrase that ive had periods of paranoia triggered by stupid shit that were so borderline dehibilitating like i couldnt drink if my eyes left my drink for more than a minute because of like. some box behind a wall in a sonic game and i was ocnstantly dumping out my drinks xoxo