#someone's excrement; it has a golden tinge | shitpost

[izar-tarazed]

So in one of my attempts against Messmer I brought along Ensha to get some nice screenshots. And while I did get some, there's also this one and I can't unsee the budgie gif:

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I'm laughing way harder than I should

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This is what switching between Elden Ring and Dark Souls 3 and the respective controls has done to me:

I want to interact with something...

...I jump.

[izar-tarazed]

Someone might have pointed this out already, but re: the name Messmer: It's the Swiss-German variant of (the German) Messner, which is one of the terms to refer to a sacristan. Apparently this specific form is derived from Latin mansionarius, meaning a custodian—"the house guardian".

This might or not be a coincidence, but with the DLC trailers heavily implying that Messmer might be waging war on Marika's behest or at least in her interest, thus "guarding" her church/order/reign, it would make sense?

...

The other, less serious thing I can't stop thinking about is that Messmer/Meßmer is also a German brand of tea, so... Here. Help yourself to some impalingly hot tea, 100% organic, might contain traces of Erdtree root.

[izar-tarazed]

The All-Couponing

...just some nonsense to start the week. (There was a very serious discussion about what kind of grocery shoppers each Elden Ring character would be, and @wraith-caller suggested Gideon would be one of those coupon people holding up the line, so.)

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"... oh. So that ritual did work ater all. ...

I mean... A lobster. Here. Very strange. Very mysterious. No idea where that came from."

Izar stealthily tucks away the mysterious summoning scroll between her maps.

"I do not wish to alarm anyone, but it seems somehow, someway, a lobster has found its way into the central hall of the Hold. Please steer clear of the balcony, those things have bizarrely acute aim."

[izar-tarazed]

I didn't expect spitting rocks at Sister Friede to be so much fun, but here we are

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honestly not sure what to make of Ensha's methods here

[izar-tarazed]

Alternate timeline where Ensha just goes to the Finger Reader before raiding the Albinauric Village and learns where to find the Haligtree medallion half.

[izar-tarazed]

WE WILL GET TO CRAFT TEA

CINNAMON BUN FLAVORED TEA

once we find the Messmer's Cookbook (tbh I should have chosen another picture to present the Messmer tea brand but well, it's canon now, I want that tea recipe to temporarily boost my vigor)

Messmer, you say.... you mean like

[izar-tarazed]

I was wondering why Izar was suddenly clearly taller than Ensha.

Turns out she wasn't, she just decided to randomly float

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So few people know this, but whenever Ensha has to report to Gideon ...

... he will discreetly stand on some books to appear just a little bit taller.

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Also, that day on the invisible bridge ... I fell to my death and came back to find a skull? Who put that there?!

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I sent them to Siofra for research and instead caught them holding hands while stargazing?? what are you two doing

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Smithing Master Hewg: I'll smith as long as you like. Now, lay out your arms.

My Tarnished, while the Roundtable Hold is slowly burning down around them: yes yes yes, but let me first trade you these 273 mushrooms and a handful of excrement

[izar-tarazed]

Still stuck in the tricky boss fight. I think Translation Project is particularly hard because it'll inflict the Deadline status effect that can barely be countered (although Caffeinated Boluses slow it down a little bit). It also deals brain damage. (Its Typo Attack is fairly easy to counter, though.)

I'm not using any summons, just dual-wielding the Keen Keyboard +10 with the Final Touch AoW and a couple of Editing Sorceries (they're good but they consume a lot of focus points).

Will need to take this boss down today, so wish me luck!