#someone's excrement; it has a golden tinge | shitpost

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me, each time I wade through a poison swamp, gritting my teeth: it's alright, this thing sparks joy for Miyazaki

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I'm laughing way harder than I should

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So in one of my attempts against Messmer I brought along Ensha to get some nice screenshots. And while I did get some, there's also this one and I can't unsee the budgie gif:

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This is what switching between Elden Ring and Dark Souls 3 and the respective controls has done to me:

I want to interact with something...

...I jump.

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Someone might have pointed this out already, but re: the name Messmer: It's the Swiss-German variant of (the German) Messner, which is one of the terms to refer to a sacristan. Apparently this specific form is derived from Latin mansionarius, meaning a custodian—"the house guardian".

This might or not be a coincidence, but with the DLC trailers heavily implying that Messmer might be waging war on Marika's behest or at least in her interest, thus "guarding" her church/order/reign, it would make sense?

...

The other, less serious thing I can't stop thinking about is that Messmer/Meßmer is also a German brand of tea, so... Here. Help yourself to some impalingly hot tea, 100% organic, might contain traces of Erdtree root.

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I mean, yes, a dating game is probably definitely the last place where Ensha should end up but I'd still be happy if he got some more votes.

New poll!! Ty for everyone who requested their favorite freak to be put in, and don't forget to vote on my other polls!! And there are so many weird things in this game that idk abt that somebody wants so plsss comment any request u have!

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The All-Couponing

...just some nonsense to start the week. (There was a very serious discussion about what kind of grocery shoppers each Elden Ring character would be, and @wraith-caller suggested Gideon would be one of those coupon people holding up the line, so.)

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"Don't mind us, we're just here for the stabbing."

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the desperate urge to just hand him a giant toothbrush

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"... oh. So that ritual did work ater all. ...

I mean... A lobster. Here. Very strange. Very mysterious. No idea where that came from."

Izar stealthily tucks away the mysterious summoning scroll between her maps.

"I do not wish to alarm anyone, but it seems somehow, someway, a lobster has found its way into the central hall of the Hold. Please steer clear of the balcony, those things have bizarrely acute aim."

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I didn't expect spitting rocks at Sister Friede to be so much fun, but here we are

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I might have to figure out an ingame reason why Chosen Undead Izar is so fond of cragspiders because each time she kills one she keeps dragging the corpse around Blighttown for way too long— NO IZAR IT'S NEITHER A PET NOR A SNACK STOP DRAGGING IT UP THOSE LADDERS

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honestly not sure what to make of Ensha's methods here

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WE WILL GET TO CRAFT TEA

CINNAMON BUN FLAVORED TEA

once we find the Messmer's Cookbook (tbh I should have chosen another picture to present the Messmer tea brand but well, it's canon now, I want that tea recipe to temporarily boost my vigor)

Messmer, you say.... you mean like

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Alternate timeline where Ensha just goes to the Finger Reader before raiding the Albinauric Village and learns where to find the Haligtree medallion half.

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I was wondering why Izar was suddenly clearly taller than Ensha.

Turns out she wasn't, she just decided to randomly float