#someone who hasn't even been an idol through the 'official' mean but is trying to catch up by going indie from the start
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butterfly-ribbon · 8 days ago
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been thinking of ppl saying that mizuena should've been in a yuri or josei manga that isn't popular which is a sentiment i understand bc yes a hypothetical mizuki akiyama that exists in a yuri or josei manga would probably have her transness made explicit i guess (absolutely not guaranteed tho imo considering the amount of transfem manga i've read that quickly veer into third sexing u_u) but even if i accept this premise at face value i'm not fully onboard with it bc i feel like her character exists best in something like prsk bc she exists as a response to trans girls being into things like love live, revue starlight, bandori, etc. it's in her metanarrative…
not saying gacha game writing is always good … a lot of ppl often say it's frustrating how much it expects you to fill in the gaps (bc that's part of audience engagement) and ena5 was arguably gachapilled abt it but i think it makes sense. gacha thrives on implied queerness bc even when the writers are passionate about what they're writing abt they can't risk alienating executives and wider audiences bc writing queerness in something 'mainstream' is often complicated? so it's not always the writers' choice? i think mizuki is pretty Explicitly transfem though. the only "issue" with her writing to me is that they don't let her say this, which i also only consider a problem /at all/ bc when she's outed it's pretty explicit? gacha often has very character driven writing … the queerness is often also an Audience Draw. i wish they would at minimum call mizuki a girl. textually. i want ena to call her a cute girl … though considering how many ppl go "ano ko", she's getting called a cute girl all the time lol.
with that being said, i think the picnic event is one of my main examples of things that make me go,,, mizuki's character works best in the context of something like prsk as a response to things like bandori bc it's about a tgirl vs cgirl idols. that mixed events inherently highlight mizuki's circumstances as "othered" by society around her and the inherent complications of her own life vs others. ppl compare mafuyu and toya sometimes also but it's so bare bones by comparison bc mafuyu is literally in a dissociative cPTSD fugue at all times. it's about so much more than being forced into a life goal she doesn't want. everything about how her mother has raised her has warped her as a person. made her unable to see healthy or more objective realities. mizuki and mafuyu both have wanted desperately to die and disappear. mizuki even now … struggles so much with that and being around "normal" ppl is hard for her bc of it bc no matter how she tries, she can't be a normal girl. an average girl. so she has to be abnormal or exceptional. no in between. how she exists in contrast to bandori is so genuine in that engagement with gender and i specify bandori bc it's colopales other game.
going back to the picnic event i love the moment when they're eating the food airi prepared and talking about how airi and shizuku are "idols who are capable of bringing others hope", but then mizuki quickly goes from admiration to somberness, wishing she could be the same as them ... and even when the others bring up the music she makes with her circle it doesn't do much to cheer her up? it reads so much to me as a trans girl struggling with an inherent sense of inferiority amidst cis girls who have never had their own girlhood questioned in the way she has and can thus take so much for granted! ena might be really ruthless and mean in a way that is atypical of femininity and airi may have struggled with not being traditionally feminine and was bullied for failing to act out "proper" girlhood, but she still has a very different experience from mizuki and neither can compare to the constant transmisogyny and degendering that mizuki constantly has to go through every day and having her identity denied so vehemently on a systemic level.
it's so pointed to me bc mizuki is an idol fan and has that genre awareness ... the way trans girls often connect with media like mahou shouio and idols but despite their love for it, still feel an inherent sense of alienation due to being an Other ... bc there's a separation between "liking these girls and these things" abstractly versus actually meeting them, and i think it's interesting that there's literally no way in the context of this game that any of these girls could be idols and trans, specifically bc mizuki is a trans girl who can't be one and this game predicates a major portion of its story around mizuki As A Trans Girl! if mizuki tried to be an idol, she'd be outed and harassed! that's a fear she already has to live with when she's making music with niigo even though it's safer due to its anonymity. transness and idols don't have to be disconnected of course, but her being a trans girl who's a fan of this stuff who's disallowed the opportunity to directly take part in them is So fucking important. her engagement with all of this.
this is an event about ena's relationships with other women but also how mizuki exists in the borderlines of girlhood ... how no one else is so prepared as she is for things going wrong and how much she has had to take on undue responsibility in the world at large just to "exist"... she's protected at home but everywhere otherwise, she always has to take responsibility for how others see her, how others project onto her, how others expect her to act, and the event ends with mizuki still declining ena's offer to join the group call with airi and shizuku bc it didn't resolve anything ... bc simply repressing her own insecurities and fears in the moment to rescue ena and airi bc it's more important to act didn't help in the grand scheme of things when this is something mizuki is always expected to do! ena did it out of kindness, but it's terrifying to be invited to a group trip with her childhood friend who is actually a cool and beautiful idol, and then for another beautiful idol to be there. and both of them are so pleasant and sweet and nice. how is mizuki supposed to interact around ppl like that, after all?
the mizuena in the picnic event is so fucking vital bc of ena trying to give mizuki comfort but making her more and more discomforted, which is good buildup to my footsteps, your destination. it's about how mizuki still exists on the fringes of girlhood even when someone is actively making effort to make her feel "included" and the invisible yet uncrossable barrier that exists between her as a trans girl who loves things like idols and idols themselves (who are predominantly cis girls). airi and shizuku are very sweet! but it's… kind of agonizing, bc airi was already ena's "friend" and mizuki feels like she has no place in the lives of others and wouldn't deserve to be ena's friend if ena found out about her transness, which is why she clings to the plausible deniability around her gender status. airi is someone who can bond with ena and be close to her much more easily bc of their shared experience with misogyny, but this is something mizuki has to struggle for much more even though the misogyny she struggles with is even more Amplified due to how the [trans]misogyny she experiences is often denied and erased even among other girls...
#again cis girls can be idols and inspire others through their art without having to hide who they are...#of course we know that misogyny is rampant in the entertainment industry and celebraties are abused in different ways#but again! this experience is something mizuki is utterly denied and even if she were to ever step a foot into it /somehow/#whatever girls like airi and shizuku are subjected to she'd have hundred times worse bc of her transness#also the fact that she can 'enjoy' mmj bc of their disconnect from official agencies#but also having to be in a position of... “voyeurism”#i also think a lot about mizuki's favorite being minori bc she's the underdog?#someone who hasn't even been an idol through the 'official' mean but is trying to catch up by going indie from the start#but even that is something mizuki can't imagine for herself doing bc she wouldn't be able to escape public scrutiny in this case either?#there are so many impies to read into how mizuki interacts with ena's idol friends#and i just really appreciate how it always engages with the complexity of how mizuki exists alongside womanhood#and how even when ppl don't “know” she's always having to be on edge#also sorry if some of this is incomprehensible most of this is just me rambling#but i think there's so much to be said about how bandori was made for female fans of love live#and how prsk is made for female fans of bandori that i kinda touch on here? blehhh#also what initially triggered this train of thought is a silly statement that i don't think should be taken seriously#but am using it as an excuse to yap ^_^#project sekai#gamo.txt
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pretty-idol-hell · 1 year ago
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Idol Land PriPara Episode 04
It was really nice of them to just release it on YouTube after we haven't been able to access it on the app. Okay here we go!
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How is Amari SO RELATABLE. I do this basically every other day (i.e. think someone's actually talking to me when it's someone else and have to play it off).
Anyone a lawyer here? What legal recourse do I have for being drawn into an anime without my permission I SWEAR TO G--
Also Amari is wearing a Pretty Rhythm recolor(?).
So the plot of this episode is basically: Amari hears about some other girls going to the beach and thinks about how she hasn't made her "beach debut", but that's fine by her since she doesn't have a real bathing suit, confidence, etc. She then goes to Idol Land PriPara and, despite her best efforts, promptly gets automatically thrown into a bathing suit and forced to compete in a promise event.
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These are some oooooooooooold coords. Do they really deserve all the fanfare? Hahah. Well, they are the only bathing suit coords so far I recognize as being real coords anyway.
(Unless there's anything from PriMagi or late-stage PriChan. I wouldn't know. BTW, if we ever do get any PriMagi recolors in Idol Land PriPara let me know because that would be great.)
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In order for Amari to compete, Yui not only names herself Amari's new manager, but she just straight up gives her My Dream as well.
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And they even made it official! AWWWW! I wonder if this set up is something that will continue after this episode.
Are we ever getting new mic these toys btw or is the show just going to advertise toys that don't exist.
WAIT.
I just noticed Nino and Michiru are still using their Idol Time mics which have somehow been modified to take keys. So I guess these aren't new toys at all.
HUUUUH.
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So what I think I gathered from before is that Yui is just a zombie in real life because her idol soul is trapped in the rice cooker in Idol Land? Or something like that? They made a point to show she's alive and well here but I don't know if that makes anything better. I mean, I wouldn't want her parents to worry but wouldn't it be more interesting if Shogo has to continually convince his parents Yui is at some kinda summer camp or something haha. IDK.
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Oh, is this a cameo by one of those celebrity groups I keep getting asks about?
(I mean... I don't care in the slightest but at least it will make someone happy haha.)
So, let the games begin!
Sophy has a throwaway line here about how Non Sugar isn't participating because of "pool inspection". I guess they have to clean the pool at their school? OH REALLY? Is THAT where they are?
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This may or may not be my new desktop background.
So, partway through watching this episode I became disappointed when I remembered that it was spoiled long before that Dressing Pafe would be performing in this episode.
Oh boo. Well that spoils who wins the competition then.
But then I realized
what a fool I was
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Since when is Dressing Pafe allowed to win ANYTHING
But well. Anyway.
This was a very different song for Dressing Pafe.
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AND I LOVED IT!!! Goosebumps!!
Too bad it was apparently only good enough to open for a SoLaMi Smile performance we have already seen before JUST WITH DIFFERENT COORDS THIS TIME.
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Okay I lied. These bathing suits are real coords too. PriChan recolors actually! And I... like them? Well. I like them more than the originals anyway, they have more details. Also any PriChan nostalgia, good or bad, is hitting me right in the feels currently. Also it's just funny how things are coming full circle.
So Amari didn't win the competition and we didn't get enough kirakira to unlock the thing, but the episode ends with Amari thanking Yui for helping her make her "beach debut".
Also this.
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There was a subplot about Gaarmageddon getting lost trying to find a shortcut to the beach event
REALLY lost.
OoooooooOOOOOOH!!
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kitsu-katsu · 5 years ago
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On kiribaku becoming canon and their evidence:
So I posted this on reddit earlier, but wanted to have it here where more KRBK shippers are, since I just ended up compiling a lot more than I thought I would.
Fair warning: A pretty big text with a compilation of kiribaku moments ahead.
We would all love kiribaku being canon, and I think it's not as much of a longshot as some may lead you to believe.
Honestly, if one of them was a girl, this would most certainly be canon, like, just in the anime we have:
Them becoming friends slowly in the background, leaving us with good development between them that is so seamless it can hit you hard once you notice how close they've become if you hadn't noticed before.
Them arriving and leaving the pool together while walking in the sunset.
They support and compliment each other (both on personality and quirks, like come on).
Kirishima can just lean on Bakugou or side hug him all the time and Bakugou lets him with no problem, which considering who we're talking about is a pretty big thing.
Kirishima can seem even more agitated than Deku about Bakugou being taken, and Deku is the one who idolized him since childhood.
The whole "It has to be you" thing and the precious hand holding (including that little scene after the rescue, where Kiri tries to grab Baku's hand again).
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Kirishima bought expensive night vision googles in case they were useful for the rescue even though they had Yaomomo with them (this boy goes through extremes just to ensure his boyfriend's best friend's safety)
Kirishima is officially the one Bakugou considers an equal, and considering his conflicting inferiority and superiority complexes (making him perpetually place people as above him or beneath him) is vital information.
Kirishima is esentially Bakugou's first real friend (as Deku was considered more of an incomprehensible nuisance and his childhood troop seemed more like his followers who just put him up on a pedestal and followed what he did).
Kirishima has jumped in front of danger for Bakugou's sake quite a bit of times (including a time in the movie).
Kirishima is a central piece in Bakugou's character development.
Bakugou was the one who told Kirishima he was strong and gave him his confidence back, reminding him of what he said at the start of their friendship.
Kirishima unlocked fucking UNBREAKABLE because of Bakugou's encouragement.
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Going to extra stuff:
Bakugou's favourite hobbie is hiking, and we're shown he takes Kirishima with him sometimes, thing he doesn't seem to do with other characters.
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The whole festival thing, with the narrator outright assuming Bakugou must have given his coat to a pretty girl who was cold, only for it to be revealed in another picture that he gave it to Kirishima because as usual, he didn't have a shirt on.
On the movie Bakugou could have taken anyone to I-Island and took Kirishima as his plus one. They share a room. Kirishima bought suits for both of them, with the most detailed one with white roses being for Bakugou, and they decide to go to the party together.
In a BNHA Smash connected directly to the movie, Midoriya notices the white roses in Bakugou's suit and notes that they mean deep respect and "I'm the one for you", which prompts Bakugou to send an explosion his way (not to Kirishima who gave him the suit, mind you), which makes the flowers turn red (from blood), after which Mineta appears to say that red roses mean "beautiful and passionate love".
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They are usually seen together in merch stuff.
There's this tumblr post talking about japanese fan's reactions to one of Horikoshi's drawings which I find at least hilarious:
https://exbrodokills.tumblr.com/post/187710597637/here-it-is
There are discussions regarding Kirishima's character sheet and the translation of him liking "tough guys" (here's a podt by aitaikimochi explaining the meaning of the translation: https://www.google.com/amp/s/aitaikimochi.tumblr.com/post/171127708911/amp) where even translator such as aitaikimochi have gotten into, and they have mentioned that there's a japanese stereotype of a type of gay guy who is obsessed with "manly behaviour" and usually stay away from women, prefering tough guys instead, which is interesting to say the least.
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Some of the light novel episodes which show more slice of life moment feature some good kiribaku moments, with a prominent one being this one wich details their study date (it seriously seems like fan fiction, not even kidding, and this is supposed to be sort of canon):
https://www.google.com/amp/s/aitaikimochi.tumblr.com/post/171236111166/amp
Also there's a chapter where Kirishima tells Fatgum about Bakugou being extremely happy, and another one where they are arm wrestling between classes and they cheer for one another heavily.
(Honesly, just go through aitaikimochi's whole kiribaku tag, there are some pretty interesting things there)
Here are some analysis on their possible coding, if you guys are interested:
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1dxO6Y0yK_wxOJDmRsBYvsVWKwsH7tKc92skxJ--R1m4/edit?usp=drivesdk
(Bakugou's one link can be found at the end of that one)
And in BNHA Smash, there are quite a lot of things, and we must not forget that the whole thing still gets approved by Horikoshi before being published, some of my favourite things are:
Kirishima inviting Bakugou to spend christmas together, with the translators noting christmas in Japan to be a romantic holiday in the same panel.
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In one issue, Jirou falls for Kiri and him being oblivious just leaves her for Bakugou.
Once Bakugou becomes a shoujo boy after being his with a quirk and just involuntarily talks in flirt, and in one moment Kirishima outright flirts back.
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Bakugou works his ass off to repay Kirishima for the night vision googles they used in the rescue.
Kirishima is literally described as the chicken soup for Bakugou's soul!
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An interesting thing I found out is that in the chapter where all of 1A minus Bakugou turn into animals, one scene originally had Kirishima (as a dog) getting jealous of Kaminari and Midoriya petting Tsuyu (as a cat - yes I know, a cat) and giving all their attention to her, however, Horikoshi himself changed that scene, noting he didn't think their character relations worked well in that scene, and made it so that the one that ended up in smash contains Kirishima (as a dog) getting jealous because Todoroki (as a koala) has climbed up Bakugou's torso and won't let go. I saw this all in a tumblr post a few months ago, which showed the original scene in a book (I think it was in italian and was translates below) but I can't currently find the link, sorry, if someone finds it, It'd be appreciated if you could reblog with said link.
And in regards to meta stuff, the show already has some LGBT characters in it, with Magne and Tiger being trans and Toga being bisexual, so it's not as much of a lost cause to hope for this as it would initially seem.
(Please kirimina shippers, don't take offence because of this, it isn't my intention to insult your ship, I simply want to analize what has been given to us, so please try to take this lightly):
We should also take into consideration Krishima's first version in the sort of "beta" for the manga (where Midoriya was Yamikumo).
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His character sheet mentions he's quite the delinquent and entered UA to impress a girl. Obviously his character evolved tremendously since then, but the girl was most probably intended to be Mina's equivalent. This was later changed to him liking "tough guys"/"hard liners" and his thing with Mina became more of an "I admired your bravery and heroic spirit when in middle school even if I hardly knew you", later seeing each other and establishing more of a little friendship. However, it hasn't really moved further from there, and Kirishima has already established much stronger bonds with our favourite exploding boy. All changes in characters are made for a reason, and Horikoshi clearly changed his mind on Kirishima's motives for wanting to be a hero and his relationship with Mina.
So yeah, all in all, this ship is great, it's precious, adorable, helps both characters grow, is balanced and has good chemistry. So even if after all these things they don't become officially canon, we still have so much canon material for them in the present I'd honestly still be happy, these dorks make me smile and melt my heart, so I hope they both have good endings.
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waitingforminjae · 3 years ago
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what is up with day6 atm? I'm seeing people reacting to the drama, but so far haven't found the drama
......................a lot but i'll do my best lol but if you scroll through my "tw//negativity" tag you'll find some of the things ppl r talking abt
So basically Jae has been slowly distancing himself from d6 for awhile now and he kinda fell in w the Dive Studios crowd and now he's like doing twitch streaming and seems to be trying to get in w that crowd + 88rising (an asian american label) crowd.
He's been very open about his struggles as a kpop idol, but in doing so he has put his foot in his mouth several times and said many things that are really insulting to the rest of d6 (like calling them "inauthentic") like he's obviously trying to distance himself from kpop idoldom, but he's doing it in a way that plays into very problematic Western views of kpop that are rooted in racism and it's just a bad look all around. He's also praised JYP several times while shading his bandmates and that just leaves a bad taste in many people's mouths. He officially left JYPE at the end of last year, even though he said that he hasn't officially left d6, they're just on their military hiatus rn. I think he's said some more things abt d6 since then but honestly I don't know everything he's said so I'm not sure.
The current problem is that he was on twitch and was like "Now that I'm not an idol anymore I can say this. Why Jamie tryna be a thot?" and then laughed about it. Jamie is a fellow former JYPE artist that Jae has known since she was 15ish (and he was 20ish) and has been one of his good friends and supporters. He worked with her at After School Club and at Dive Studios. Jamie has apparently always struggled with ppl making bad comments about her + sexualizing her like this. People have been rlly tearing Jae apart over this on twt and Jamie herself saw it and tweeted abt how hurt she was (she's since deleted these tweets). Jae apologized and claimed that he thought "thot" meant the same thing as "baddie" (it does not).
Theoretically, it IS possible that he really thought that those were interchangeable terms. Even though Jae is a native English speaker, that does not mean he actually knows what those terms mean. Thot and baddie are AAVE terms, which is a language/dialect (I'm not sure what it's classified as) that most people outside of the African American community aren't very familiar with. Meaning isn't always easy to really understand with just context. Like, I'm a native English speaker and I've heard ppl say baddie but I'm still not rlly sure what it means exactly. More importantly, all of this ties into a much larger problem of non-black people butchering AAVE and using it incorrectly and out of context. But that's another conversation that I should not be spear-heading as a white person. It was still very wrong and awful of Jae to call Jamie a thot, bc most ppl know by now that when it comes to general slang, it's associated with words like hoe, and has a similar meaning. Jae knew damn well what he was saying when he called her that. Just bc he might have POSSIBLY thought the words were interchangeable does NOT excuse him calling her a thot as an insult.
It was just a bad thing all around like his tone when he called her a thot was very "shit talking behind someone's back" but with like extra layers of misogyny (him, as a guy, calling a woman a thot behind her back) and fame (he said that publicly in front of thousands of ppl in a way that made jamie look bad) like he rlly just kinda exposed himself to be (at the very least a bit of) an asshole.
TL:DR he called a female friend a thot on a live stream and seems to be trying his hardest to fit in w a new crowd of ppl who will never respect him or like him like he wants, and in the process he's shitting all over the ppl who have been his friend/by his side since the beginning and it's just a bad look and shitty behavior.
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dontreadthistrashgarbage · 5 years ago
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Pt.3
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Seyoon was unpacking all the late night snacks he had gotten onto a blanket at a secluded rooftop. Hearing footsteps he looked up to see Guerin, who looked different than usual. She didn't appear to be wearing any makeup, had her normal stud earrings but had a cute black mask with a white sharp toothy grin. She was dressed in joggers and a sweatshirt with the hood up. He cocked his head at her as she approached.
"I know, I look like shit. But it was late and I'd already gotten ready for bed. You can't expect me to spruce up after that." Guerin guessed at his expression.
"You look fine. Cozy. It's just different. Also you're late." He shrugged and patted the blanket next to him, sitting as he leaned against the wall behind him.
"I got lost..." she grumbled, "I've never been great with directions." She sat down in the spot he indicated, looking over the spread he had brought, "Good grief I thought you just wanted tteokbokki."
Seyoon smiled automatically, "You said you hadn't eaten, and I know how much you like food so I thought I should get some options." Guerin leaned her head in his direction and offered a wry smile under her mask, unable to argue with his logic. "Besides, I got this for us too." He pulled out an additional bag, from which he drew two paper cups, a bottle of soju and two cans of beer.
Guerin raised her eyebrows and sat up straight, "Oh we're drinking too?"
"We have to. It goes well with tteokbokki, fried chicken and jajangmyeon." He shrugged nonchalantly as he began opening everything up and handing Guerin some chopsticks. "Although it's blueberry soju. I thought you might like that."
"How did you figure that?" She asked, sneaking a piece of tteokbokki and pulling her mask to her chin to eat it.
"Well you said before you liked Grapefruit and Plum but I couldnt find it, so I thought blueberry was the next best option." Seyoon shrugged, separating the cups and pouring soju into them, handing one to Guerin and offering his as cheers.
She laughed in response and took her shot, "Honestly I dont know how that train of thought lines up but you aren't wrong." She watched as Seyoon refilled the cups and couldn't keep the grin from her face, "You really went all out for this, it's awesome. Thank you."
He shrugged again, looking up at her and their eyes met briefly before both looked away to select food options, "Food makes things better." He said simply.
"Cheers to that." They both took another shot and then ate in silence for a while.
"So... how are you?" Seyoon asked awkwardly, unsure of how to broach the subject.
"I'm fine, all things considered." Guerin said almost mechanically, "I keep telling people that."
"Okay... but how are you really?" Seyoon asked again, leaning back to look at Guerin. She sighed and set her chopsticks down and didn't speak for a moment.
"Well. What do you know happened?" She asked finally.
"I know you were attacked by that crazy lady. I know you were arrested but you were cleared because of video evidence. I know that she is being charged by the company. But I also know you haven't been with HEET lately." He trailed off.
Guerin reached over for one of the beers. Seyoon cracked it open and put it in her hand, grabbing his as well while she took a sip, leaned back against the wall and looked up at the sky.
"Yeah. We were worried something might happen again. So part of our plan included recording any more altercations that might occur. Self defense laws are tricky and it's usually one person's word against another. Plus as a foreigner, and a big one, we knew some witnesses might not provide unbiased information." She paused and took another sip, "The boys were so brave, they did exactly as they were supposed to. That woman had some gross stuff in that present too. Police said it was unwashed underwear, a vial of blood, another of spit..." she scrunched her nose, "stuff like that."
"Sounds like you guys have the law on your side." Seyoon said, waiting for more information.
Another sip and pause before she spoke, "Yeah, we do. We're able to press charges. The company is suing her. She might see jail time. They even made me go to the hospital to make sure they had a medical report for the court."
"Wait medical report?" Seyoon looked over at her, surprised, "What happened?" Now that she had pulled down her mask and he was looking closely he saw the cut and slight bruising at the corner of her mouth as she smiled dryly and tapped her cheek.
"I let her hit me. I figured if she looked unharmed and I was injured it would go better for us too."
"You're crazy." He sounded almost admiring as he leaned in closer, "Let me see that, does it hurt?"
"It's fine, I've been hit in the face many times, and she's probably the smallest adult that's ever taken a swing at me. It doesnt hurt at all. OW WHY?" She flinched and cried out as he poked the bruising.
His eyes widened and he let out a snort of laughter, "Doesn't hurt at all?"
"You little shit." She laughed and smacked his hand away from her face, "Of course it'll hurt if you press a bruise."
He giggled again, "Sorry. It does look like it hurts a lot. You should maybe stop letting people hit you in the face."
She laughed, "Well it hasn't always been a choice, this one was though."
"So... there's more right?" He asked after their laughter had subsided.
Guerin avoided his eyes by taking a longer drink from her beer, "Yeah. There's been some blowback. Some false stories have gotten out and theres some people that claim I'm making a bad name for HEET or that I was the one who started it, that I instigated a fight or was being rude to a fan. There's quite a lot that demanded I be removed as manager, actually."
"So they caved?" Seyoon asked disbelievingly.
"Well. Kind of?" Guerin sighed, "I've been temporarily removed. Right now with the case going and the false information it's actually less safe for HEET to be around me in case someone tries to target me. So until things are officially able to be released..." she stopped talking abruptly blinking rapidly, trying to hide it with another long gulp of beer. "It's not like I've been fired. I'm grateful for that. Another company would probably have written me off as more trouble than I'm worth. They have me doing other work right now but... I liked my job. I loved my boys, and looking after them." She couldnt hide the tears running down her face now, and didn't bother to try.
Seyoon floundered, watching her face then looking around before seeing napkins and hurriedly handing them to her. She smiled and thanked him, dabbing her cheeks half heartedly before giving up and chugging the rest of her beer through her tears. With an unconvincing smile she looked at Seyoon, "So that's what I mean when I say all things considered. I'm fine."
He didn't saying anything right away, pulling his long shirt sleeve over his hand, he leaned over and dabbed at her face to dry it. She started to pull away, shocked, but he reached out with his other hand and held her in place. "Hold still." She didn't fight back, he was so close and so handsome she couldn't help but feel somewhat transfixed, despite her stomache dropping and heart pounding, all she could do was freeze until he let her go. He picked up his chopsticks, selected a large piece of fried chicken and put it to her mouth, which she accepted without complaint.
"It's okay to be sad when bad things happen. You don't have to lie to everyone." He paused and added quietly as though he wasn't sure he should be saying it, "You don't have to lie to me."
Guerin choked, "Oh my god." She swallowed as soon as she could and laughed, "Are you using lines on me to seem cool? Is this a drama?" She laughed again.
"Yah." He protested, "I was just trying to be supportive."
Guerin laughed again then fed him some tteokbokki, "You're as adorable as a cicada." She said and pinched his cheek.
"I am so much more handsome than some bug." He protested around the food in his mouth.
"Of course you are." She put a shot of soju in his hand, cheersed and downed hers. He followed shortly.
"Thanks though." She glanced at him, "It means a lot."
He playfully shoved her and stole her chopsticks, which started a whole new bickering fit.
Charlie had been working up the nerve all morning to talk to her boss. It was a privilege to be allowed to be so hands on with animals and she didn't want her boss to think she was taking advantage... but it was such a cool opportunity. She had to at least try.
"Byun Minsoo-ssi." She lead off tentatively. The lead vet looked up from her paperwork. Perhaps she looked stern simply from Charlie's point of view but it was just as believable that she was no-nonsense in everyday life as well.
"Yes? Charlie-ssi?"
"I have a friend who is a manager for an idol group, she is friends with a group called A.C.E and I wondered if they could come behind the scenes to meet some of our animals?" Charlie ventured cautiously.
Minsoo paused for a moment before speaking "A.C.E? Your friend knows A.C.E? And they want to come here?" Her attempt to play it cool was poorly hidden and gave Charlie confidence.
"Yes! I'd like to invite my friend Guerin and A.C.E to come and see what we have. I think it would be an excellent opportunity to promote the zoo and educate on the importance of conservation!"
The normally serious Minsoo beamed at Charlie, "That's an excellent idea. Let's get in contact and organize something."
Charlie did a mental fist pump and hustled off to message her friends.
Deciding to keep the visit informal allowed the planning process to go more quickly. Approval from the higher ups and organizing with Beat Interactive took a few days. Guerin has been allowed to come as a personal guest for Charlie and A.C.E who requested she tag along. Guerin, never passing up a chance to visit the zoo, happily accepted. Charlie hoped it could provide her friend with a genuine mood boost. Guerin tended to internalize her negative emotions but Charlie could tell she wasn't her usual self.
"We'll do formal filming in the behind the scenes areas, but then we'll allow you to do your own self cam work throughout the areas of the zoo the public has regular access to." Minseok explained as A.C.E got last second touch ups.
"What animals are we seeing today?" Asked Chan excitedly. They were in the vet and quarantine areas so it was unpredictable what had been planned for them.
"It's a surprise." Charlie said, the most excited A.C.E had ever seen her.
Byun Minsoo would be taking the lead in speaking for the cameras but suggested Charlie stay by to help handle animals and manage the guests. Minsoo might be strict but she was fair, knowing Charlie wanted to do this with her friends she wasn't going to exclude her.
Guerin was hanging back with Minseok as preparations were made. "Noona do you know what we're gonna see?" Chan tried to wheedle from her, pouting slightly. Guerin stared pointedly away from him.
"Don't pull that cute stuff on me, I can't tell you." Of course she knew what animals Charlie was working with, she couldn't let some aegyo spoil the surprise. Chan pouted more and shook his shoulders in a small tantrum.
"Alright that's enough." Minseok stepped in before Guerin could cave, he redirected A.C.E to the main area so they could begin filming. The recording started with a tour of the facilities, showing equipment and how to accommodate all the different animals they had based on type and size. They explained the importance of training animals to participate in their own veterinary care voluntarily then showed them a video example of a mountain lion presenting for a blood draw, and a gorilla opening it's mouth for its teeth to be examined, or a macaque presenting its arm for an insulin injection. Minsoo continued to talk about the research and breeding that the zoo participated and how it was vital for conservation efforts and how it benefitted animals in the wild.
The boys were perfect guests, asking questions and reacting well. They saw a few animals in the quarantine area, new to the zoo and waiting to be introduced to their new homes. The last area they were taken to was for longer term housing for animals that couldnt be in the usual enclosures. A spot had been sectioned, layered with blankets, plushies and other toys. The boys, perplexed, were instructed to go in and sit down with Minsoo while Charlie disappeared momentarily. She returned with an inauspicious crate, facing it away from A.C.E she opened the door and sat with Minsoo, both grinning for the surprise.
Two young tiger cubs tottered they way out, mowing. The trepidation left A.C.E as they all exclaimed in amazement and adoration. Minsoo and Charlie showed A.C.E how to bottle feed them, then let them take turns.
"Their mother was a first time mom, and she wouldnt take care of them." Minsoo explained as the boys cooed sadly, "It's not unusual for that to happen with new mothers even in the wild. But since we are here we made the choice to step in and help raise them." Once the babies were fed they were left to roam and play. One clambered into Jun's lap and fell asleep, the other playing with a toy with Donghun and Byeongkwan. Jun couldn't control his face, his amazement and joy at being chosen as he got everyone's attention and pointed to the sleeping kitten. Seyoon and Chan scooted near him to pet the sleeping animal. Charlie couldn't stop herself from grinning, Guerin knew at least part of it was Jun's reaction and not just the cute tiger cubs.
Once it was time to say goodbye to the kittens, A.C.E did their formal goodbye with them and the filming for behind the scenes ended. The rest of the staff and guests got an opportunity to greet the tigers as well and once Guerin had her turn she flagged down Charlie as the babies were taken back to their enclosure. After a brief talk with Minsoo who let out a restrained laugh and nod, Charlie and Guerin went to a series of smaller tanks on the opposite side of the room, Guerin returning with her hands closed suspiciously.
"We have one more animal for you to meet." Charlie said with a chuckle. Donghun was the only one with the good sense to he suspicious.
"This is one of my favorite animals." Guerin said with a grin, uncovering her hand and showing a large male Madagascar Hissing Cockroach sitting placidly in her hand. All five boys instinctively recoiled, Chan and Jun exclaiming in surprise. A.C.E's reaction elicited chuckles from most of the staff if they werent busy being disgusted themselves.
"It's okay guys. They're harmless!" Guerin said holding it up. Donghun and Jun recovered the fastest, still looking apprehensive and surprised respectively. Chan was behind Jun, leaning around him curiously but still looking fearful. Beyongkwan, eyes wide, didnt move forward so quickly and Seyoon was the furthest away had a very subtle terror that could only be read in his eyes.
"They're really cool, they're called hissing cockroaches cause they hiss!" She gave the cockroach a light pet down it's back which caused it to take two steps forward and hiss quietly as it protested the contact. The boys jumped again. "So insects dont have lungs, they breath through small holes along their body called spiracles. These guys have evolved to force air out of those holes to make a hissing sound that they use to communicate to each other or even predators! Their mouths are too small to bite us so they're harmless!" She was so enthusiastic in the explanation it couldnt help but draw the boys curiosity. She explained how to tell males from females and how most cockroaches are pests at all and how vital they are to the environment. Eventually Donghun worked up the courage first to touch it when offered. Jun became somewhat enamored and greeted the insect before he touched it, but jumped when it hissed before laughing at his own reaction. Chan actually opted to hold it and Byeongkwan even moved forward but Seyoon stayed in the back.
"Come on Hyung!" Chan called to him, looking more closely at the cockroach.
"I'm just looking at stuff over here you guys go on without me." Seyoon said, pretending to examine equipment near him.
"It is kind of cute." Jun admitted, petting it again, still jumping slightly when it hissed.
"On a scale of Seyoon to a Cicada how cute is it?" Donghun joked causing Jun, Chan, Byeongkwan, Guerin and Charlie to laugh.
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