#someone tell me i'm not losing my mind bc i sense...

[subjxctseventeen]

no spoilers i promise but quantum break fans how are we feeling about alan wake 2 because i am LIVING

[daenysx]

Hey! Id love to request something for Modern!Aemond fluff/ hurt comfort. If you're not interested no worries at all! But maybe something where you're not together but you're also not 'just friends' and reader is kinda insecure bc they don't have a lot of experience with partners and Aemond starts to notice them acting weird and then it goes from there. But yeah idk if this is a good request or not lol, if you don't feel like writing this no worries at all! Love your writing!

thank you so much for requesting!! i hope you like it ♡ requests are open

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader, hurt/comfort

"what's wrong?"

sometimes you think aemond has super hero senses, how can he feel your distress when you're standing behind his chair? he can't see you but he somehow knows you are fiddling with your fingers, something eats you up inside.

he turns, still sitting on the chair in his room. he looks up to your face, still questioning what's gotten you so nervous.

"um- nothing's wrong, it's just-"

he holds your hands when he realizes your nails are hard on your skin. he separates them and keeps them in his huge palms on each side. "come on."

you take a breath. "do you remember the guy i told you about last week? he was a friend of-"

"rhaena." he completes. "yes, i remember."

"i was thinking- i don't know it sounds stupid now that i think about it but-" you start. you feel close to aemond, you're not ashamed of telling him a story about other guys. "he was acting like we're flirting you know? he was really nice and- i don't know maybe i was expecting him to ask me out after all that flirt."

your voice feels so small. "what happened?" aemond asks, he sounds like he could kill the guy for upsetting you.

"i saw him kissing a girl today." you say. "i don't know if she's his girlfriend but no matter who she is, it means i was hoping for nothing."

it's just a guy. nothing to be upset over. you're not in love with him, he could kiss anyone he wants. still, this is only a little piece of a bigger disappointment. you think no one will ever want you.

"i'm not sad, but i feel bad." you say. "why is it always someone else?"

aemond looks at your curled lips, he always thought you look cute with the frown. he keeps holding your hands, not quite knowing what to say. he's never been the best person to comfort someone but he cares. he cares about you. he doesn't want you to think you're unworthy of anything, he can see the walls of sadness and disappointment you build in your mind.

you straighten your posture when you see him say nothing. what were you thinking anyway? maybe you're looking for some reassurance from a man you're close to, you think he'll tell you you're pretty and smart, that guy should go to hell for making you feel like this. you close your eyes to take a proper breath, pull your hands back to your sides. aemond has an unreadable expression on his face.

"you know what?" you start, trying for a smile. "forget it. i mean, it doesn't mean anything right? there's nothing we can do."

aemond sees you blushing. "i'm sorry, i was just-"

"it's okay, aemond." you say gently. "i wasn't looking for pity or anything else, i'm sorry for overwhelming you with my insecurity."

you're being too honest. you don't care. it's no secret most of the guys you like don't like you back, even when they do, you don't know how to keep them. you have too little experience, the only guy you feel comfortable around is probably aemond. one of your friends said you look like a couple once and you were so surprised at her words you couldn't look at aemond for a week. you can't bring yourself to have romantic feelings for aemond even though there's a potential. you can't lose him.

"your insecurity?" aemond asks with a disbelieving voice. "i don't understand."

so he wants to hear all of it. he can deal with it then, you don't mind telling him.

"i don't think i'll ever be loved by someone i love. it's just- i'm full of half finished stories about that, i'm so sick of feeling like this." you say, taking another deep breath. "i'm not saying this because i expect anything from you. we're close and- you asked."

aemond's lips part open. you're so clearly blind to yourself, you don't even know how you make people feel. you don't know how pretty he thinks you are, how kind and sweet. he doesn't want to ruin his relationship with you- he doesn't even know what to call this thing between you two. friends? friends who secretly like each other but being too afraid of losing one another because how inexperienced you both are in relationships?

he holds your hand again, squeezes your fingers in an attempt to comfort you just one bit. you let him do that, you close your eyes when he rubs the back of your hand with his thumb. he brings your hand to his lips, brushes a tiny kiss on your skin. is that what affection feels like? you're a stranger but you could love it.

"aemond, what-"

"i know how much you hate being wrong but- you are in fact wrong, sweetheart."

he kisses your hand again, it feels nice. "you think you're unloveable? do you even see yourself?"

you can't help a tear escape. "i'm-"

"no, you don't." he answers his own question. "you don't know how pretty you are. you don't know your effect on people. your effect on me."

you try to pull your hand back. "you don't have to prove anything. i didn't tell all these to get something in return, i don't want your pity."

he is strong as he holds your hand. he looks up to you, gives you a smile. "i'm not pitying you. if there's anyone who needs pity it's me."

he promises himself that he's not gonna ruin anything. he will not mess this up. he can't. aemond targaryen's life is full of ruined relationships and sad stories, he'd be damned if you'd be one of them.

"aemond, we shouldn't-"

"no, i know." he stands up. "i know exactly what you think. i've been thinking the same things since i met you."

you look unsure. this is a dangerous game to play, you don't know if you're brave enough.

"tell me about them." you say, can't control your thoughts or your words. "tell me what we think."

aemond takes a deep breath, he places your hand on his heart. "we both think this is too fucked up. we don't want to lose each other but-"

you look deep into his eye, consequences be damned. "but?"

"we are losing the chance of a perfect pairing." he says with a low voice. "i can be better than all those guys who made you upset. you really don't know how i see you."

it feels exciting, your heartbeat goes into madness. can you let yourself accept buried feelings for him? his look is promising and confident. your brain stops thinking when you rise on your tiptoes to kiss him.

the kiss feels like true insanity. you don't know if you'll feel satisfied or regret what you did minutes later. aemond kisses you back and the clouds of madness disappear. he holds the back of your neck, a possessive kind of touch that you've never felt before.

"we still have a lot to talk about." you say, breaking the kiss.

aemond presses his forehead against yours softly. "i know." he says. "just let me kiss you one more time."

[glitchy-across-aus]

Amnesia

Tyler One Shot, 3,384 words

I really hate puzzles. It's weird, because I'm more of a problem solving girl, but puzzles just piss me off for some reason. I hate TVs too. I don't know what it is about them, but they just bug me. Mario's always watching some stupid thing on the TV, which kinda makes me wanna smash it to pieces with a hammer. Again, it makes no sense to me since I don't mind playing video games with them, even when I keep losing to everyone because I've never played before. It's just the TV in general, I guess. Although I recently learned my biggest trigger is TV static. I don't know why, but I get weird flashbacks everytime I hear it. Even though it was only once since I've been here. I started seeing images and they filled up my head and I didn't know what was going on and then someone reached out and I couldn't see who it was so I swung but it turned out to be Meggy so she blocked me and she asked me if I was okay and then-

And then I got up. And I left. And I came back a few hours later. And they never brought it up. Nor have I heard any TV static since. 

But anyways, Meggy and Smg4 took me to the doctor yesterday, which I don't know why a centaur would wanna be in the medical field, nor did I trust the guy, but at least he was gonna tell me exactly what was wrong with me….until he gave me my doctors note and it was literally a scribble. Like, excuse me sir, what the HELL is this supposed to be? Chicken scratch?? Anyways I gave it to the axolotl looking guy who was working at the pharmacy and somehow HE KNEW WHAT IT SAID?? I swear I'll NEVER understand doctors. Anyways, he gave me this bottle of pills and sent me on my merry way. Guess who STILL doesn't know what's wrong with her? Me :). So I figured I'd Google what the pills were for and guess what? Apparently I have something called “Amnesia” which, according to Google, means “permanent or temporary memory loss.” 

Huh??

add “doctors” and “pharmacists” to the list of things I hate.

I talked to Three recently, and he asked me if I was going to get my own house. I told him I didn't plan too. “Why not?” he asked, stacking cups next to the coffee machine. I shrugged and continued my task-cleaning out the new pastry display. “Smg4 lets me live in his guest room for free. Why would I wanna pay for a house?” He laughed and asked if I wanted to live with him forever. “Well, not forever, obviously. Just until I go home.” I replied, now adding pastries to the display case. “Tyler. About that…” I turned and looked at him, confused. It was the first time I've ever seen him look sad. “Tyler, you don't even know where you're from. How do you plan on getting home if you can't remember how you got here? Might as well get used to living in the Mushroom Kingdom, you know.” I rolled my eyes and ignored him. What would he know? I'm completely fine living in the castle. It's not like Smg4 does much anyways, other than making videos. Which he should make better, by the way. I mean, he lacks creativity, and a story in general. The whole point of making something is to entertain your audience. How is he going to do that if he's so focused on his “it doesn't have to be perfect” bs? I swear, some people don't deserve their fame, or money, or power or reviews or stars. 

5. stars.

What am I saying? I don't know anything about true art. I've never even made anything myself. Maybe those doctors were right.

Damn Amnesia…

(tagging @its-a-me-mango and @psychologistlemon bc I thought you guys being the doctor/pharmacist was funny)

[formula1fanfiction]

George Russell & Kimi Antonelli

Title: Don't blame me for falling part 1/2

Pairing: George Russell & Kimi Antonelli, Lewis Hamilton / George Russell

Characters: George Russell, Lewis Hamilton, Kimi Antonelli, Ollie Bearman, Toto Wolff

A/N: This chapter is just purely fluff, chapter two will be Lewis helping George through his heat.

Prompt: feral omega!george (like in his heat during a race weekend) and he finds out that omega!Kimi (Antonelli) is dating Olli and getting really over-protective of omega!Kimi and him not being able to speak to Alpha!Olli (who he is dating) and George does not like it, bcs Komi is still a pup in his eyes and then George keeps him in his nest and is growling to everyone who comes to close (including Toto). Olli getting Lewis from Ferrari and only then George is able to calm down and let’s Kimi go to Olli.

Relief floods George's system as he finally parks up his car in park Ferme, not his best weekend, p5 in his home race, but his heat has been slowly building all race weekend and now it looks like it's finally arrived in full force. Sweat is pouring off of him in buckets, and he's producing an ungodly amount of slick, the back of his race suit feels so wet, it almost feels like he's pissed himself.  

He can't let the heat overtake his mind, he needs to make sure Kimi is okay, his younger teammate crashing out on lap fifteen and despite Kimi insisting that he's not a pup anymore, he's a fully grown adult of eighteen, George can't help but feel furiously protective over him.

"Careful, I got you." George stumbles as he gets out of the car, but Aleix is there in an instant steadying him. "You're burning up, and I can smell it. Fuck this isn't good." It must be a strong one if the Spanish Beta can smell it, and he's attracting alpha's in the close vicinity. "Is George ok?" He hears someone ask, he thinks it's Max, but then someone else growls which makes George whine, his mind is slipping quickly. "He's in heat, I need to get him out of here quick." Before George really knows what's happening Aleix drags him by the arm into the Mercedes hospitality. A sense of safety washes over him, all the sights and smells are familiar here, his nest is tucked away in the corner and no one here will harm him.

"Kimi?" George loses his balance and practically crawls his way to Bono. "Is Kimi ok?" The older omega whines at the state he's in and gently pulls him to his feet. "Hey, he's fine. The car isn't good but he's ok, look he's over there with his mate." Bono pushes the sweaty hair off his forehead. "Come on love, let's get you into your nest."

George shrugs Bono off, mate? Kimi can't have a mate, he's just a pup. The smell of an unfamiliar alpha reaches his nose, a whine of fear escapes him until he sees who it is, Ollie and he's got his hands all over the pup. George snarls, making Bono jump. "George?" Before he can react George storms over there.

"Pup, are you ok?" George nuzzles Kimi's cheek, his instincts settling down a little bit, the pup is safe with him. "George, i'm not a pup-" He giggles, but the smell of George reaches him. "You're in heat, you need to get out of here." Ollie takes a step towards them, George hisses at him. "Stay away." His instincts are going wild with Ollie here, more and more slick leaks out of him but more importantly he needs to keep the pup safe from this unfamiliar alpha.

"George it's ok, it's me Ollie. You know i'm not going to hurt him." Ollie tries coming close again but George hisses at him again. "My pup." He wraps his arms around the young Italian and quickly pulls him into his nest. "It's Ollie, you're okay." Kimi, brushes his fingers through George's sweaty hair. "Deep down you know this, come on George."

"Tell him Aleix, he's got my mate." Ollie is close to tears, furiously clinging onto the Spaniards shirt. "Get him away from George, he's acting crazy." Bono closes in on them and stands himself in between the nest and the young alpha. "He's not crazy, he's gone feral. You shouldn't be here, you're an unfamiliar alpha in his safe space while he's in heat and he's already feeling overprotective because of Kimi's crash. I will help, but you need to stay as far away from him as possible. Tears roll down Ollie's cheeks. "But he's my omega." Ollie lets Aleix guide him to the other side of the garage, while Bono closes in on the nest.

"Kimi, are you okay?" Bono approaches the nest as, George wraps the younger omega in and blanket and protectively cuddles him close to his chest. "I'm okay." George pulls Kimi impossibly closer, Bono is safe but he can smell another alpha nearby. "George can Kimi come out? He's safe don't worry, we won't let anyone hurt him."

"My pup." George whines, an extra strong wave of heat runs through him, making his stomach cramp. He needs a knot badly, but that will have to wait, he needs to keep the pup safe. Kimi whines in response. "Look, it's ok. I don't want to leave him, this heat is obviously a bad one, i'm happy to stay here if it helps him." George purrs and nuzzles Kimi's cheek. "Poor Georgie, does it hurt badly?" Kimi rests his hand on George's stomach and gently massages the area of pain.

His instincts settle down again, he's got Kimi tucked up against him in a pile of messy blankets, it feels good keeping the younger omega safe. The only problem is the heat, it's getting worse by the second. Another wave of pain hits him, he digs his finger nails into the skin of his arms, it hurts but he needs to think of anything but the heat, he can't keep the pup safe while begging for a knot. He closes his eyes and waits for the wave of pain to pass.  

"Come on love, you need your alpha to take care of you, Kimi is okay, you don't have to worry about him." The smell of the alpha hits him, his eyes fly open. it's Toto, George hisses at him. "No."

"Come on George, don't make me use my alpha voice." George hisses again, he can't use his Alpha voice, George is weak to the alpha voice, they'll take his pup away and then he won't be safe. George hisses again, louder more defensive this time. Toto holds his hands up, and takes a step back but he's still too close for comfort.

"Don't use your alpha voice, please. He's not hurting me, it's his instincts and it's all my fault because I brought Ollie into the garage." Kimi is crying, his pup will not be upset on his watch. George hisses at Toto again for good measure then snuggles Kimi even further into the comfortable blankets, hoping to give the pup, more warmth and safety. "Shh pup, you're safe now."

Toto steps away from the nest, not wanting to distress the omega's anymore. "What the fuck do we do, George has heats three times a year and he's never acted like this before."

"Just to start, you should have not threatened him with your alpha voice, why would you do that? He's always been the pup before, this is new territory for him, his mate is over at Ferrari and Kimi crashing has obviously sent his instincts haywire and on top of all that, then he gets back to the pup being with an unfamiliar alpha." Bono spills it all out in one mad rush. Toto sighs. "You're right, I shouldn't be threatening him and after today we won't let in alpha's from other garages for the safety of our own personnel but what do we do now?"

"Are we all forgetting that a feral omega has my mate trapped?" A frantic Ollie closes in on the nest, George hisses at him. "My pup." Aleix quickly pulls him back, before he can do anything stupid. "Are you crazy? Do you want him to bite you?" Ollie looks like he's about to cry again. "That's it, i'm getting Lewis." No one stops Ollie as he storms out of the garage. "That's actually not a bad idea, if anyone can talk George around, it's going to be Lewis."  

"I'm right here George, it's ok, i'm safe" George is slipping, he doesn't know how much longer he can take this, sweat is pouring off him, he's wet through with slick, he needs a knot badly. He still doesn't let go of Kimi, but the pup seems to have taken on a care role now, he keeps combing George's hair with his fingers and keeps telling him it's going to be ok. He's a rubbish person, can't even keep the pup safe, too busy thinking about his own selfish needs. A horrible sad whine escapes him.  

"Poor Georgie, it hurts doesn't it." George grips tightly onto Kimi's t-shirt, not wanting to let him go. "Your mate will be here soon, he will take care of you." George whines no, he needs to keep the pup safe. "No, pup-" Another whine escapes him, he can't even talk now, he just needs a knot. "Here take this." Kimi pulls off his t-shirt and hands into to George, who purrs and rubs it against his cheek.  

"Hey my beautiful omega, do you need some help?" A beautiful smell hits him, it's his mate, his body is screaming at him, his instincts are purring in delight, his alpha is here! But that small rationally thinking part of his brain knows, he needs to keep his pup safe. George hisses at him, a horrible wave of pain overtakes him, he screams in pain.

"I know sweetheart, you want to keep the pup safe after his crash, that makes sense. It's very scary isn't it?" Lewis climbs into the nest, George doesn't have the energy to hiss at him, it feels nice having his mate here. "I know it's not nice." Lewis pulls George into his arms, his inner omega starts doing kart wheels, the pain subsides and just like that, it feels like his mind has been returned to him.

"Blimey, i'm really sorry Kimi." George lets go of the younger omega, who giggles. "It's ok, I understand but you need to remember i'm an adult, i'm not a pup." George whines. "You will always be a pup to me." Kimi rolls his eyes and jumps out of the nest, making his way over to his own mate, who wraps him up in huge hug, pressing kisses all over his cheeks. "I'm sorry Ollie, I don't know what happened." The young alpha shrugs. "I get it, just don't do it again please." Kimi giggles. "He couldn't help it."

"Lew? Alpha?" George clings onto his mate. "Will you put a pup in me?" Lewis chuckles and takes George into arms, carrying him bridal style out of the nest.

"Come on, let's go home and get this heat sorted out."  

[mirusx]

does anyone grasp the depth of grief, persistence, and hope all at the same time from these supposedly just system notifications? please bear with me and my incoherence bcs i might actually be losing my mind????? i apologize in advance

[Story, --, has begun its storytelling once more.]

[Story, --, is continuing on with its storytelling.]

and then kindly replace those '--' with a story like "Life and Death Companions" or other stories affiliated with kdj and kimcom.

Orv has repeatedly emphasized how people are stories and how we are all just stories trying to understand each other. Seeing these 'stories' that were made from kdj and other's connection trying to continue on and starting once more evoke emotions deep inside me. Because Kdj and every member of kimcom live on through these 'stories', they embody the stories that they obtain. They're the ones who want to continue on and to begin once more. Because 'once more' implies that it has already come to an end at one time, and 'continuing on' means persevering despite of.

like resisting permanent death.

It's like no matter what catastrophe befall the world or the universe and how long these stories and connections may stay dormant, they will always awaken once someone remembers them. Once someone speaks of them. It's like how people have this irrational fear of being forgotten, and so being remembered, being told, and being shared just like a story somehow realize our existences. And we all know that these system notifications appear when the people involved in the story are wielding their shared story/experience to get through something(scenarios) or to someone(between themselves) and hope that the stories they've created are good enough to be acknowledged. Whenever the system narrates a story— one, both, or all of the parties included in the story want to be seen, recognized, and understood as we all crave to be good enough to continue being somebody in at least someone's story— in someone's life. It's like our souls despairing and rejoicing at the same time, "i'm here! i'm still here. i'm still continuing on. our story's still existing.", pleading to be read.

and so once someone recognizes our story, connected with us, and understood us— our story continues on despite of, and it begins once more even when it might have ceased at one point. It tells this new story of not being forgotten

and how our existences— our already written stories, always endure. just like theirs.

....the grief, the persistence, and the hope of it all.

[Story, Life and Death Companions, has begun its storytelling once more.]

[Story, Life and Death Companions, is continuing on with its storytelling.]

fuck did this even make sense im so sorry. i just really needed to get this off my head, it's rotting my brain

[physics-of-one-piece]

Ok that cd doffy and rosi gave me such a jumpscare. Also in all honesty sometimes i be thinking about doffy just deadass not knowing that women(folks with them parts) can even cum. Like rosi totally does,so much so that if his room is anywhere near doffys doffy aint getting sleep. Them nightmares aint what wake him its whoever rosi is tearing up at booty in the morning. Doffy assumes rosi is finally like killing someone or something until doffy comes across reader. Reader whos either the one that he finally has interest in legitimately or his favorite sex worker or maid or whatever the hell who just snaps cause they cant take it anymore something along the lines of "you wanna rule everything,find the one piece but you cant find my clit if it was on the side of your face". Reader either forcibly teaches doffy(cause i think it would be funnier that way). Or doffy gets curious by wondering the hell are they on 🐦‍⬛

🐦‍⬛anon

I'm fckn cackling. Love this ask. Sorry for giving you a jumpscare I just got CD Doffy on my mind I fear 😔🤣

I have to defend Canon Doffy here, though, because trust me, he would not have women getting all over him on that couch in that chapter if he didn't know how to make them cum & where the clit is. Yeah, they're probably also paid to be there, but they would not be WILLINGLY over him if he didn't know how to work a woman's clit. He literally holds his tongue out very often that is literally a show of... Well, you know. Oda very purposefully drew him and designed him and dressed him to say a lot about his character - you know what the message is? "This character is popular among the ladies and it isn't for his fashion sense or personality." Aka "this flamboyant char is a horny mfr who has sex a lot and makes the ladies happy"

Canon Doffy KNOWS where the clit is. Canon Doffy KNOWS. He is a horny, cunty, very sexual guy. He KNOWS.

That "you can find the one piece but can't find my clit" is so fckn savage I should not be laughing but I am 🤣🤣

Omg, but the Doffy being woken by Rosi comment I am HOWLING.

He would totally like sneak his head in through Rosi's door and be like "how the fuck are you making her moan so much, I wanna KNOW" and then he just strolls into the room and demands to be taught.

Reader forcibly teaching Doffy, sign me the fuck up, I want a one shot. 🤣🤣

Anyway, Canon Doffy totally knows where the clit is, I'm sorry, anon, there is like NO WAY Canon Doffy DOESN'T KNOW. Why do you think he holds out his tongue? It's his mating invitation ritual, saying "I will use this tongue on your clit, babe, come find me in Dressrosa 😉😘😜"

Celestial Doffy, though... Gods help him. And by Gods, I genuinely mean GODS. Because.... He has no active reason to seek out the clit.

Celestial Doffy. Knows. Absolutely. Nothing. Zero. Nada. Zilch. He fckn shoves his dick in the closest female slave, thrusts and gets his happy minutes (or hours if he wants to torture the poor girl, you can't tell me he doesn't do some sort of denial kink just to see the slaves squirm I feel so sorry for those women, run girl, run) and then goes on his merry way. What I fear the most is his fckn STAMINA (I mean, we did all watch the same fight this guy is a TANK). This guy can fuck for a while, and in multiple rounds.

What I am currently thinking is just how immature should CD Doflamingo be? It depends whether he goes back to the Downs and then reclaims his status, or whether his family stays in Mariejois.

Bcs those are very different CD Doffys. One got a wake-up call.

The Mariejois born and raised did not. And somehow - SOMEHOW - that fckn terrifies me bcs he has everything to lose.

He probably would hate being like his fat peers so we know he'd train and be in shape and probably still start the underground business. And he would PROBABLY get his Devil Fruit cus he hears about them and is like "okay, I'm getting one 😃" and is then trained by Tsuru for YEARS while Rosi does a "I want to help people" and still goes to join the Marines.

The "terrifying and cruel" Mariejois born and raised CD! Doffy is fighting against the "immature spoiled asshole throwing temper tantrums but also somehow so very pathetic and needy and clingy once he experiences Reader cumming around his cock and it's like a whole new world opened up for him" Mariejois born and raised CD! Doffy.

Reader is doing a lot of mental gymnastics to survive CD! Doffy except in that Rosi's Wife!Reader but both brothers being Celestial Dragons fic.

The rest of them? Where Doflamingo picks Reader as his wife? Only one of those fics is wholesome, kinda - and even that one has dark undertones bcs Reader is like submitting from the get-go

I wrote three of these fics yesterday (just as drabbles/unfinished one shots)

I wish I could feel guilty, but I honestly don't.

Thank you for this great ask, 🐦‍⬛anon!

[warvariations]

Can I ask why you are soon to go through menopause?

And with respect of someone who doesn’t understand anything in the realm of trans/ hormonal dysphoria would you share a little bit of your struggle with it? I hope ultimately that you can be happy, full of rage or full of testosterone xx

Thank you for the good wishes, such a sweet way to put it!

I meant 'soon' as in my future, I'm not that close to menopause but I'm not that far from it either.

Most of my dysphoria has to do with how impaired my body/mind feel during 90% of my hormonal cycle, which is the part that aligns with testosterone decreasing. Basically I feel like I can only be fully functional for a very limited number of days a month, the rest of the time I'm fighting against what feels like having been injected with a drug against my will. I also know for sure that my (a)sexuality is deeply affected by being perceived as a woman / feeling dissociated from my own body, despite not really having any interest in sex beyond the way it facilitates romantic relationships due to the closeness it can foster, which I've always enjoyed. But it feels absurd to believe that I would be feeling better as a man, cause I actually don't know what it feels like to be a man – I cannot say I am a man personally, if anything I feel like a walking vagina bc I feel absolutely subjugated by the reproductive organs it represents, so the uncertainty of what's on 'the other side' makes it feel like a silly decision to make. Yet gender is very much at the core of one's subjectivity in the world we live in, and it's one of the few ways in which a poor person can shift others' perception of them, so it feels like a valuable option despite me not feeling that strongly about either genders (I do really identify with being non-binary but telling people I'm nb is not enough). Anyway the hormonal discomfort is starting to become really unmanageable, which is what's pushing me to consider testosterone again. I'm happy I waited (the first time I thought about it was in 2019) because now I know I've tried everything, and I don't even care about the physical changes I used to worry about anymore, like losing my hair or bottom growth (which used to freak me out cause I already hate my genitals as they are), I'm just SO TIRED of estrogen and progesterone fucking with me. I didn't get on T in 2019 because I was worried that I was just looking for a 'quick way out' of dealing with my trauma, and since then I've tried everything to heal or cope with my trauma and my dysphoria has only increased, and on top of that I'm exhausted and furious due to being forced to exist in what feels like a mutilated body, in the sense that I feel incapable of doing the things I want to do because of my dysphoria / what my hormones do to me every month. The other thing is that I used to feel like by 'giving up' on living as a woman I was giving up on believing that there is hope for a world where women can be happy, but at this point my survival feels more important than ideology. Also I do identify with having grown up as a woman on the internet and I wouldn't wanna go back and change that, same with being a girl child, which has kinda kept me from transitioning too. I was like if I relate to that it means I'm a woman, ain't I? But I'm not a girl child anymore, I'm an adult who is making the life of everybody around me hell cause I'm so dysphoric for 3/4 of every month I'm literally rolling on the floor growling and screaming at the top of my lungs (like actually).

But I want to have a baby and that to me is more important than my hormonal discomfort, I would never want to jeopardize my chance to get pregnant and carry a child, therefore I cannot go on testosterone now.

Hope that makes sense..... I've replied very quickly so I'll probably come back to edit it later

[miss-celestial-being]

Kiss Me

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

request | masterlist

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: steve harrington x fem/gn!reader

𝑠𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠: you and steve make an arrangement

𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: fake dating, unedited, bad writing (as always), good luck trying to make sense of any of it :)

𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 3.3k words (the majority of this is probably the word book ngl)

𝑎𝑢𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑟’𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠: i have no idea what the timeline is so dont ask. hope this is an acceptable comeback (also if youre confused abt the tags, everything i write is plus size reader bc i myself and plus sized but its never explicitly stated)

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

Book in hand, you walk through the halls, bundled in a sweater to fight the autumn chill. Aiming for your cream-colored locker, you can see the stickers littering the metal as someone bumps into you from behind, forcing the book from your hands and making you lose your page. You swear as you begin to bend down to pick it up, bumping your head against the person in front of you. You both pull back, lifting a hand to touch the aching spot on your forehead.

"Shit, sorry." A masculine voice draws your gaze upward and you lock eyes. You see your book in his hand, held out between the two of you. You take it back slowly, frowning as you see a smudge on the pages and a dent in the corner. You look up in time to see his eyes widen, looking at something behind you, before he grabs your face in both his hands and presses his lips to yours.

You stand completely frozen and only dare to breathe once he pulls away completely, his hands still planted on your cheeks. "I'm really sorry," he whispers, his breath mingling in the air between you. You notice now that he smells like he just came from the cafeteria; He had pizza for lunch, you note. You finally will your body to move and you turn your head in time to see a girl staring at the two of you, her eyes focusing on a spot on the wall as soon as you catch her. You turn back to the boy in front of you and nod in understanding. "It's fine," You say. He lets out a seemingly relieved breath, the corners of his lips twitching up into a half-smile.

You notice it falter slightly, his eyes once again behind you, and you rise on your toes to kiss him again. You grab his neck with your free hand and your eyes catch before the space closes and you let yours shut tightly. His hands snake around your waist as your mouths mold together, and when he pulls away, you're both breathless. He looks behind you once more, to find that the girl is gone, and his eyes are back on you.

"Thank you. Really, thank you," he starts, "I broke up with her like over a month ago and she's been obsessed with me. Keeps trying to get back together." He looks down at you, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "I, uh, I didn't catch your name." You let out a sudden snort and your face heats as you cover your mouth with your sleeve-covered hand. You tell him your name, doing your best to keep your voice even. "Well, nice to meet you. I'm Steve," He laughs softly as he speaks. A moment passes, your eyes not leaving his. "Hey, uhm, this might sound weird--I mean I don't even know you--so feel free to say no, but would you mind," He coughs, clearing his throat, "would you mind, maybe, pretending to be my girlfriend?"

You're face falls, eyes wide and lips opening and closing like a fish as you try to think of a way to respond. "Just for a little--a few weeks maybe. I just- I think this might be the longest I've gotten a moment of peace from you know who." You open your mouth again to reply and he interrupts again, "You know what, that was dumb, I'm sorry. Have a nice day." He turns to walk away and you grab his wrist before you lose the nerve.

"Okay," You say simply. "Okay?" "Okay. I'll do it." He looks as though he'll fall to his knees with gratitude as he thanks you repeatedly. You pull him to your locker, unlocking it quickly before you place your book inside and take out a piece of paper and a pen. You scribble something onto it quickly and hand it to him. "My phone number," you start, "I don't have my own line, so don't be alarmed if a grouchy old man picks up the phone; that's my dad." He takes it and nods, placing it in his letterman jacket's pocket. "We should probably talk about how this is gonna work, so call me. My dad usually blacks out by eight so the phone should be free then." You lean up to kiss his cheek, trying not to make it obvious how nervous you really are, how fast your heart's beating.

Before he can respond, you pick your book back up--being sure to get the textbook for Mr. Jones's class--and close your locker, rushing to class. You can feel his gaze on you as you walk away and the heat in your cheeks only grows.

When you finally make it through the door, the bell rings loudly. You collapse into your seat all the way in the back, next to your best friend. "Who got you all flustered like that?" He teases and you open your book--on a random page, thanks to Steve--in front of your face to hide. "Oh c'mon, hon," He says mockingly as he lowers your book to see your eyes. "Mister Munson, please stop pestering your peers," Mr. Jones says as he walks through the doors. The ever-dramatic math teacher loves to make an entrance. "Yeah, yeah, Jonesy," Eddie rolls his eyes animatedly, and Mr. Jones puts a tally mark under 'Eddie Antics', the count now at thirty-seven. "Keep this up, Mister Munson, and you'll catch up to last year's record." "One can only dream."

Mr. Jones starts the lesson of the day and Eddie turns to you, his voice hushed, "Who was it?" You shake your head, eyes trained on the board. "Oh come on." He says, his voice a bit too loud as Mr. Jones clears his throat. Eddie apologizes quietly, his eyes not leaving your embarrassed frame. "Was it a guy? A girl?" You huff. "Really? A girl?" His eyes widen, a Cheshire-like grin overtaking his face. You give him a bored look and his face falls, "So a guy?" When you fall further into your seat he rolls his eyes. "Who was it, then? What guy thinks he's worthy of my girl?" "Your girl?" You ask with a raised eyebrow. "Yes. You're mine; I've claimed you. I'm like a cat."

You sigh exasperatedly at his antics and Mr. Jones pauses mid-sentence to add a tally mark at the sound. "What?! Really, Jonesy?" Eddie asks, pouting like a toddler who just got told no. Mr. Jones responds by continuing his lesson from where he left off and Eddie groans, leaning back in his chair until it's balanced on two legs.

You laugh quietly and look at Eddie, who has now decided that puppy-dog eyes would get you to spill--he was right. "Fine," You huff, realizing he was probably gonna hear about the kiss eventually anyway, "It was Steve." His eyes widen like saucers and the chair leans back too far, making him fall to the ground with it. Mr. Jones sighs again, adding yet another tally mark to the board; There are now thirty-nine.

"Steve?!" Eddie whisper-shouts once he gets settled again. You ignore him, writing down the equations from the board and he groans again, "Fine, ignore me all you want. I'll get answers out of you sooner or later."

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

You sigh as you pick up beer cans off the floor, keeping your steps light to not wake up the man currently passed out on the couch. You take the half-empty can from his hand and pour it out in the sink a few feet away. There really isn't enough space in these trailers. You watch the wasted money go down the drain and rub your tired eyes with your free hand. The only thing you want to do right now is lay down with a good book and read till the sun comes up, saying 'one more chapter' every time you finish one.

You don't have a chance to pick up your book as the phone's shrill ringing shakes the trailer. Your dad says something that sounds almost like a threat to the phone's life as you go to pick it up, extending the cord as far as it'll go so you can take the call in your room, the door shut. "Hello?" "Hey," the voice on the other side of the line says and you look at the clock next to your bed at the familiar sound. "Shit, I didn't realize it was already eight." "Is this a bad time? I can call back later, or you can call me when you're free?" You smile at his rambling. "No, no. We can talk now. I've just gotta keep it down so I don't wake up my dad. He's not fun to deal with when he's drunk, even less when you wake him up." "Yeah, I understand how that feels. Thankfully my parents are out of town." He mumbles something else you can't quite hear, but you aren't sure you're supposed to so you ignore it.

"Where do you live, I can drive you to school tomorrow." "No!" You wince at the loudness of your own voice, praying to whoever would listen that you didn't wake up your dad. It's not that you're ashamed of where you live, it's just that you don't want him making him feel like you're worth any less because you're not from some snooty rich area; you've heard about King Steve, what he's like. "Uhm, okay, I don't have to drive you. I just thought it'd make this ruse a bit more believable, y'know?"

"No, you're right, I'm sorry. I just... my dad might not be too pleased with a stranger pulling up to his house," You pause to think of the right words, "How about we meet at the library tomorrow morning?" "Sure thing, It'll give us time to practice our stories on the drive to school." "Stories?" You ask with a confused frown. "Yeah, like 'how we met', 'where our first date was', 'who fell first', that kinda stuff." "Are you expecting to get interrogated?" You hear him chuckle and you sigh, "We met at the fair, our first date was at the movies, and I fell first." There's silence on the other end like he's writing it down.

"Why didn't I fall first?" "You've seen me, right?" You joke, but you can hear his frown as he responds, "Yeah, and? You're gorgeous, I'd fall first any day." You feel a smile form on your face as you laugh out a response, "Thanks, but I think you can only fall first once." "My lack of grammar skills doesn't make what I said any less true." You're cheeks grow warm and you look down at your feet, "Thank you." "Of course. So, we met at the fair, our first date was--what if our first date was at the bookstore? You like books right?" "Oh, sure that works, I just thought you'd prefer the movies or something." "Cool, and then I fell first. Sound good?" "Yeah, sounds great." "Perfect, what time should we meet at the library?" You hum as you think, looking at the clock, then at your dad through the cracked door, "Does seven work? Or seven-thirty?" Based on the silence, you can tell he nodded to your question because a second later, he says, "Yeah, yup, seven works for me." "Great, well, goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow." "Oh, uh, okay. Yeah, goodnight." You frown at the sadness in his voice but before you can say anything the line cuts out.

You open your door to find your dad standing in front of the now-broken wall phone. You look down at the mess on the floor with a blank stare, drop the phone in your hand on top of the mess, and turn away to your room. "I'll pick up a new one tomorrow after school." You say as though it's second nature--it might as well be. He drunkenly mumbles something about not talking back before he collapses onto the couch. You close your door and open the window, picking up your book from your nightstand before you make your escape and hurry to Eddie's trailer next door. He opens the door before you can knock and you sit on the couch, opening your book to the page you left off at.

"So," Eddie starts, "Steve, huh?" You hum, nodding. "How'd that happen?" "We met at the fair." You hear Eddie shut the door, turning all three locks before he sits down beside you. "Where'd you go for your first date?" You huff out a laugh. You'd have to tell Steve he was right about the interrogation. "He took me to the bookstore. Now enough with the questions, please." He rolls his eyes, laying his head in your lap, prompting you to play with his hair, "Fine. I just wanna make sure you're happy. I mean, you know how douchey he was last year." "He's actually really sweet now," You say truthfully. Eddie hums, "Okay, I'll believe you." His eyes drift closed as you run your fingers through his hair, closing your book and falling asleep with your head back against the couch cushions.

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

You startle awake as Wayne walks through the trailer door, his boots are clunky and loud. "Sorry, peach, didn't mean to wake ya," He says and you shake your head, "It's all right, Wayne, I should be getting home anyway." "You sure?" You nod as you lay Eddie's head gently on the couch, "I gotta wake up kinda early tomorrow, but I'll be by to make dinner before you head to work? I was thinking lasagna?" "Sounds great, kiddo. Hey, how's Ed doin' in school?" You shrug, looking at the curly-haired slobbering mess that is your best friend, "Pretty much the same, but he has been getting better at getting to class on time, and I know for a fact he has at least one C+." Wayne lets out a sigh of relief. "That's good t'hear. I'd hate to see him miss out on life 'cause of the school system."

You open the door to leave when Wayne stops you, handing you your book before kissing the top of your head and shoving you out the door. You laugh quietly so as to not wake up the neighbors and head towards your open window.

Once inside, you close the window gently and lock it, closing your dingy blinds before crawling into bed and switching the light on your nightstand off. You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, your lungs accustomed to the stench of alcohol and cigarettes. You start to drift off, sleep falling over you like a big dark blanket, relieving you of your duties in the real world and allowing you the comfort of your imagination.

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

The sound of your alarm makes you jolt awake, even as it's set to the lowest volume. You crack your neck and your knuckles before rolling out of the mess of blankets--a blanket cocoon if you will. You take a two-minute shower to avoid getting yelled at for using the hot water and wrap a towel around your body. You quickly put your hair up and brush your teeth, nearly forgetting to put on some mascara before exiting the bathroom and rushing into your room. Clothes are scattered all around and it takes you a good five minutes to find something clean to wear, even with the minuscule amount of clothes you own.

You toss on the clothes quickly, making a mental note to do laundry later, and you take your keys off the hook and run out the door. You grab your bike, leaning against the rickety railing of the stairs leading up to the trailer, and take off. Your keys jingle around in your pocket, nearly distracting you from the oncoming car.

You make it to the library with minutes to spare and you lock up your bike using the chain sitting in the front basket. You turn just in time to see Steve pulling up and you smile at the happy wave he sends your way. You wave back despite your exhaustion and greet him as he gets out of the car.

He rushes around to the passenger side, holding the door open for you with a dorky grin and you roll your eyes, "You could've just waited in the car for me." "Now what kind of fake boyfriend would I be if I didn't hold the door open for my fake girlfriend?" "You're a dork," You reply with a straight face and you swear you see a hint of pink dusting his cheeks and ears.

You get settled in the car as he comes back around the driver seat and starts the car. He makes sure your seatbelt is buckled before he puts the car in reverse and backs out of the parking spot. He pulls onto the road and turns on the radio, turning it down as he looks over at you, "How'd you sleep?" You shrug and he frowns, "Are you okay?" You stay silent for a moment, deciding if you want to tell the truth, and you nod, a smile plastered on your face. He nods at your answer and turns back to look at the road, keeping the radio turned down in case you want to talk.

"Hey," you finally speak up and he perks up, "Could you drive me to the general store after school? I need to pick something up." "Yeah, sure." You reach over to turn up the music as your favorite song plays through the speakers. You try your very hardest to not sing along and opt instead for humming along as you sway to the rhythm. Steve smiles at you and begins belting out the lyrics, forcing a laugh to leave your lips. You watch as he messes up the words, still singing his heart out with a wide smile, and you decide to join in. The car stops and suddenly you realize you're at the school. Your face heats at the people looking at you through the window.

Steve turns off the car, and with it, the music. He rushes out of the car, running to the other side, not caring how stupid he looks, before he's at your door, holding it open for you with a hand out for you to take. He pulls you to his chest and whispers in your ear, "Can I kiss you?" You nod subtly and he pulls back slightly to press his lips against yours. Your arms wrap around his neck as his hands hold your hips. You can feel the eyes of your peers, but kissing Steve almost makes that all go away.

Almost.

You first hear whispers, then giggles, then, as you pull away, opening your eyes, you can see all the people standing and gossiping and pointing and you freeze. Your heart plummets as you think of the possibilities. Was this just a joke? Was Steve in on this? You look up at the boy's face to find him scowling. Only, it's not at you. He flips off the crowd as he pulls you closer to him protectively, grabbing your backpack and your hand, and walking into the school with you in tow.

"I'm sorry," He says once you lose sight of them, "People are assholes." He lets go of your hand and your heart flutters as you realize you wish he didn't. You take the bag from his hand as he backs up slightly. "I've gotta get to class, but I'll come by yours once the bell rings, which class do you have?" You clear your throat before answering, now realizing you were just staring a his lips as he talked, "Uhm, Mrs. O'Donell, room forty-eight." He nods, looking up as though he's repeating it in his head a few times before he looks back down at you and nods. "I'll see you later, then," He says, his eyes catching on something behind you before he pulls you in for a kiss, just a peck, but still just as mindblowing as the others. You reach your hand up to feel your lips as you watch him walk away, and you know you're hooked.

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

i was gonna write more but i wasnt in the mood so this is all you get. lmk if you want a part two eventually

[kamiversee]

i'm losing my mind. FTL is for the Gojo girlies fr we're eating GOOD so far.

back in chapter 29 he mentions how he fell in love with our voice first and FTL opens up with the fact that the first thing he noticed about us was our laugh. my fucking heart omfg Kami WHAT.

the amount of references back to chapter 29 is actually insane. Gojo asking her if she even likes parties because he recalls seeing her less and less when he goes to them :(

i'm so curious to see if the mention of Satoru self-projecting is going to be consistent with this sequel. knowing you, it most probably will. omg my heart's gonna hurt i already know it.

the amount of parallels to us and Satoru is crazy. those last two paragraphs really caught my eye when i was rereading. assuming that the "monster" being mentioned is Sukuna, Satoru "never finding out" the reason why Sukuna decided to blackmail him directly relates back to how it felt like we'd never find out the reason why Satoru blackmailed us. omg.

the mention of how we were completely oblivious to how many guys have took an interest/watched us is crazy foreshadowing. the implication of Satoru noticing them and most probably writing them down in his journal, along with the theory of Sukuna somehow getting access to that journal and reading through it, could explain how Sukuna devised that list. AAAAAA KAMIIIIIIIIIII YOU'RE KILLING ME

sorry for the multiple, broken up messages omfg my brain is short circuiting from the anticipation

-☃️

Wanted to condense this message with the other ^.^

ANYWHO, yes yes everything connects very well 🙏 I’m trying my best to answer all plot holes as I go bc god forbid I finish ftl and there’s still unanswered questions (I’ll cry myself to sleep)

Aaand if u read chapter 29 you’ll also notice that the reader implies it was love at first sound instead of sight & now we know that thts almost exactly what it was :)) His curiosity sparked from the laugh & spiraled after that 😉

A lot of references will be made bc I gotta make sure everything makes sense! I want the story to end & everyone understands everything (if not, Im sure you’ll have another breakdown of tfl & ftl put together ^.^)

Oh and if you think Satoru & the reader have parallels, wait til’ you find out who Sukuna parallels to 🌚 (his parallels are a lot more tame tho… I think)

Lastly, the obliviousness was kinda a nod to Gojo’s infatuation in general (im trying not to spoil rn bc we will return to this point soon, trust me) like how he developed a crush & feelings despite never having so much as one convo with the reader!

It’s kind of a lil life lesson too, shows you how in life you’ll never really know if someone’s yearning for you unless they tell you & many people go their entire lives having had crushed on someone without ever telling them ;)

ANYWAY, IM EXCITED. YALL ARE EXCITED. LETSGOOO 🗣️

[acdxzhh]

Darry And Ponyboy In Chapter 1:

“If I had thought about it, I could have called Darry and he would have come by on his way home and picked me up, or Two-Bit Mathews —one of our gang— would have come to get me in his car if I had asked him, but sometimes I just don't use my head. It drives my brother Darry nuts when I do stuff like that, 'cause I'm supposed to be smart; I make good grades and have a high IQ and everything, but I don't use my head.”

"You don't ever think," Darry broke in, "not at home or anywhere when it counts. You must think at school, with all those good grades you bring home, and you've always got your nose in a book, but do you ever use your head for common sense? No sirree, bub.”

Was rereading the book and realized that Pony says/thinks about how he doesn’t use his head and then he gets jumped and then Darry tells him he doesn’t use his head, implying that either:

The main voice in Pony’s mind that criticizes him belongs to Darry bc he thinks either that Darry would say that to him or that he’s already said it to him enough times for him to internalize it to the point of where he’s almost word-for-word accurate compared to when Darry’s chewing him out

OR

That one of the reasons Pony feels so much pressure when it comes to Darry is because he has these shadows or doubts in his mind and yeah they’re there and all, but they don’t take physical form or fully register until Darry goes ahead and voices the thoughts in his mind, making it so much worse for him than if they just stayed as his internal thoughts because now his insecurities and fears are real and they’re more than just him overthinking or overreacting

And Darry’s right, of course; Ponyboy can’t afford to be a greaser who’s got a head not all the way screwed on, but there’s something about knowing that there’s a flaw of his —one that separates him from those who he considers family— and it being thrown in his face right after such a vulnerable moment where he was literally just on the verge of tears, already trying to stay strong and not cry because Darry was there.

It makes it an interesting point in the books, where Pony knows Darry, knows what about himself makes Darry annoyed and can near perfectly envision his reaction, but he’s still an unreliable narrator. It makes it harder to tell what parts are embellishments on his end versus just how Darry is.

Because you can look at the evidence above and take it one way, or you can also notice that Darry didn’t start chewing out Pony until Steve pointed out how he was walking alone. Before that, all he had said was “You’re both nuts.” And then Soda raises an eyebrow at him and he grins.

And there’s so many ways to interpret it:

The frustration with Ponyboy clearly came from a place of worry, but was it also him projecting the anger at himself for not getting there sooner?

Was his annoyance at Pony not taking someone with him a hidden plea for him to please, let him be there, let him help?

Was he originally just worried about Pony’s wellbeing until Steve pointed out his choice to walk alone, and only then did his worry shift to anger, or some other emotion masked by it?

And Darry shoves his hands in his pockets and apologizes after Pony tells him to quit shaking him, which also shows his tendency to hide his true emotions for the sake of putting on a strong face, so his anger at Ponyboy could’ve easily been him scared out of his mind afraid to lose another family member.

But back to Ponyboy’s perspective.

His intelligence, the thing that Darry places so much value on, as well as a trait of Darry’s own that he thinks of nightly, is suddenly used against him again. He brings in B’s? They should be A’s. He brings in A’s? They’d better stay that way. He’s intelligent overall? He doesn’t have an ounce of street smarts, and if he doesn’t want to end up hurt or worse, he’d better wise up.

It’s never enough.

And Ponyboy knows this, he’s internalized it heavily. It’s part of why he thinks Darry hates him so much. And while it might be clear to the audience and the other characters that this is absolutely not true, it’s not too hard to see why he believes it.

[iizuumi]

Why do you ship Gen and Reno? Genuine question, I don't mean to sound rude at all. Sorry if it comes off that way.

I recently caught up with the manga (haven't read B-side yet) and there weren't any interactions between them.. is it just that they look cute together?

Thank you if you answer, I love your art- am just wondering 🍪💕

It really did just start off with me thinking they're the most pretty characters so they should kiss LMAO

but since then I have spent a lot of time thinking about them so let me present to you some of my findings on why they would work so well together!!

that i will put under the cut because i'm shy

a lot of this will make me sound like i am this meme but hear me out okay i've thought about this B-Side spoiler for the first one! but i have to mention it bc it's like my favourite part of them and also probably the one that makes most sense lmao skdjfhs It touches on a part of narumi's backstory so skip it if you don't want the spoiler!

shared backstory/ trauma!! I think with both of them knowing what it's like to lose their family and grow up without anyone around who really cared for them they'd be able to understand each other better than anyone else understood them before. I feel like they both possibly never had a place in the world where they really belonged since losing their family (with narumi always being pushed from one person to the next and reno's grandmother seemingly unable to really give him a good home) so in my mind they finally find a place in the world by each other's side because they get each other! They've been through the same shit! They'll finally help each other heal after all these years of not dealing with it!! Also it's really interesting how they have the same/similar pasts but both deal with it so differently. Narumi being all childish because he never got to have a proper childhood and Leno being so mature & caring like he wishes someone cared for him ;;

We know that Narumi is all about strength, all about results so who better to catch his eye than Reno who is getting better and showing results so quickly!! starting at 8% release force and then getting up to 43% with a numbers weapon after not even that much time??? Pls there's no way Narumi doesn't see the potential!! Also just the fact that nobody has ever been able to use 6 before like I'm sure that's already enough to turn everyone's heads but tell me narumi wouldn't be curious about this little prodigy who got their strongest weapon!

I just think squishing humanity's strongest together with the strongest numbers weapon user is a very sexy combination like just the sound of that sounds correct to me yes

They can bring out a side in each other that they otherwise don't get to show much? I feel like Reno is always taking on the responsible adult role lmao he's always worrying about everyone and taking care of things and narumi is such a silly little childish goober if he can't help reno unwind and allow himself to be a bit of a kid again then who can!! Reno is just a little guy, sit him down and make him play video games like everyone else his age!!

Looking at how Reno deals with Kafka's Kaiju transformation shenanigans I believe Reno would be very good at putting up with Narumi's shenanigans as well lmao but also he is such a polite little guy!! I think the combination of Reno being very much polite towards Narumi but also not taking shit from him is just very much amusing to me.

Reno's whole character arc is built around him trying to get stronger and strong enough to stand by Kafka's side but like if he keeps getting stronger and stronger where will he end up?? As the strongest. Which currently is Narumi ofc. So i do like the idea of Reno maybe idolizing Narumi a little bit ,, seeing how strong he is and being like yeah that's where I need to be. and ofc it's all about being strong enough to protect his loved ones but who says narumi can't be included in that by the time he gets there!!

@acystreia told me about this one but apparently electrical currents move a lot better through air than through ice? and isn't Narumi's whole ability with 1 built on him seeing electrical impulses from the brain to tell what someone is going to do next?? And Reno's whole ability with 6 is centered around the ice thing? which means Reno is the worst possible matchup against narumi in a fight???? I think this alone is reason enough for them to make out immediately. I don't actually remember any physics so this might just be me talking out of my ass but if i'm wrong i don't want to know let me live in my delusions i'm happy here

that's all I can think about right now .... I'm sorry for the long post LMAO but i hope you see my vision at least a little bit 🙏 and if not that's okay too c: still thank you for being interested in them!! ♥

[golbrocklovely]

That’s exactly what i meant. You voiced it perfectly. I personally do not know how to feel about Malia, but that feeling is only coming from a place of not knowing much about her, because she isn’t really a public person like snc or even Katrina are. She just enjoys her time on social media, but for the most part she is hella private person and hey. I respect that, cause looking how people are on Internet, it makes very much sense to want to protect yourself from them (also your relationship, cause many relationships that were public ones - i mean in a way that they constantly would post eo and their daily lives on socials, eventually would break up). I don’t like her, but i also do not hate her. And if Colby is happy with her or even loves her, then i am happy for them and wish them all the best. I mean it would be weird to call yourself a fan and not be happy when your idol is happy.

And on the other hand, Shea and Colby shippers are more annoying than Solby shippers.

i agree with you. i think it's one of those things that fans can't accept bc in their minds, they have control over colby and his decisions. mostly bc for a long time, when fans would tell him to jump, he would respond with "how high". but for a little over a year now it seems as if he doesn't plan on listening to fans like that anymore, and i think that's for the best in the long run anyway.

bc he gave them so much power, they thought they controlled him or had say over what he chose to do, which just isn't the case.

the problem also is, so many fans (shea shippers and more) expect him to be with one of three ppl: shea, stas, or amber. or a rare fourth one, a fan of some sort. it's odd how many fans want this y/n fantasy to play out either via themselves or the holy trinity as me and my friends refer to them as lol

anyone outside of that is a no go.

so when malia came into the picture, and she wasn't what fans expected or wanted, they thought they had a say in telling colby to break up with her. and not only that, they thought she was just another fling of his. but when that didn't work, they went ballistic. which is why for months the hate for her and him has upticked to a level i never expected. like i knew when he got a gf, fans would lose it. but this is a different level altogether.

i personally don't love or hate malia, but i would say i have more positive feelings for her rather than negative.

at the end of the day, regardless of how any of us feel, colby is happy. you can lie to yourself all you want bc he doesn't smile in pics or bc they look too posed in their pictures. it doesn't matter. he loves malia, that's is abundantly clear. and you have to accept that and his decision to be with her. and if you can't, you're not a fan of him. i'm not saying you gotta love malia, but hating her will do literally nothing. so just accept it and move on. and if you can't, leave. it's honestly that simple.

(tbh anyone that heavily ships him with someone that isn't his gf is equally annoying in my eyes, but i getchu lol)

[multishipperofgaydeadwizards]

Hello ladies and gentlethems, guess who is back?

You know who should be a ship? Lily and Marlene. Like omgg they'll be THE couple. Ok not the IT couple cause in my mind that will always be marylily. But like the couple that no one saw coming but it makes so much sense and they're ruling the world now.

1) It starts off with Lily going to watch her practice (but nope she will never admit it she is just there to read mhmm)

2) OHH for the sake of dumb oblivious sapphics, (a lil love note to @her-midas-touch ) Lily thinks she is only going to the practice to watch James cause duhh all his flirting is finally starting to sink in or something but omg why is Marls flirting with me. Oh wait- she flirts with everyone. BUT WHY AM I GETTING AFFECTED BY THISS REMUS HEEELLPPPP

3) I think once her initial crisis is dealt with, Lily will start flirting back (which will in turn send Marlene into a crisis of her own cause omfg how to respond when someone that isn't Sirius flirts back sjndsjdkfnjd). I'm so dam sure that Lily will rope Mary and Remus into helping her get Marlene to admit she likes her too

4) Their dates would be so cliché but like thats the best part. Think riding in the same broom and watching the sunset in the clouds, sitting in the library and Marls watching as Lily gets excited and over focused interchangeably over books, ohh they would so go to Madame Puddifoots just to like beat the heternormalcy of it all.

5) Lily would absolutely lose it when Marlene wears a suit. But then, Lily wears one and Marls is dead. She is deceased. Slay in Peace gurl

6) Late night swims and wild flower bouquets and books with dog earred pages that open to silly doodles and kisses to joined hands and secretive smiles across the table and Lily wearing Marls's quidditch uniform and Marlene wearing Lily's hair tie in her wrist. That's them.

7) Their ship name would be something like... I actually have no idea what the hell my brain is empty halp

LILYLENE/FIRELILY!!!!!! they have my entire heart fr

1) absolutely. that girl would rather die than admit that she's there for marlene (or anyone for that matter. she has a reputation after all)

2) so real of her. dumb oblivious sapphics have my entire heart btw. she would be freaking out at first bc how could she let james get to her like that??? oh god, she's so much better than this (she is, but she doesn't know that yet). her running to remus is so real of her. moonflower supremacy

3) oh absolutely. marlene had the biggest gay panic ever over it

also, yes. lily gets everyone involved (with the exception of james who would tell marlene the second he gets drunk bc he would feel bad about keeping a secret from his "sister")

4) hejsbs9eh9b I NEED a fic of them just going on cute dates :(

5) lily thinks she's entered heaven or something (she has). marlene knows that she has

6) it so is. it absolutely is

7) I will stand by firelily 🤧

[waddles-ex-machina]

hi please bear with me while i go insane about the colours in Hilda (aka I'm looking at the trio's season 3 designs and losing my mind)

SO in most visual media, quite a bit of thought goes into the colours they use and how those colours interact with one another - not in a "the curtains are blue bc [character] is sad" kind of way but in terms of which colours stand out and which are harmonious, and even if the viewer doesn't know any colour theory (like me, lol) and isn't paying attention to it, I think it still helps reinforce what we know about the characters, and influence what we take away from the show. visual design is a language and colour is one of the key aspects of it and if you want to hear about how Hilda uses colour in so many clever ways, to guide the viewer's eye or distinguish important characters, there's a really excellent video on that made by someone who actually does know what they're talking about, but one thing I wanna talk about based on my own limited knowledge is how it tells us about the characters -

FOR EXAMPLE Johanna - so you have Hilda, who is dressed in bright primary colours, especially her signature blue hair which makes her stand out as different even more - and then there's her mother, who has, by contrast, a much more toned down colour palette. she broadly shares the colour red with her daughter, but a less-saturated shade and her standard outfit consists of that, brown trousers and sometimes her yellow coat. Hilda's signature blue is completely absent from her design (and even if the creators didn't want to give Johanna the same hair colour as her daughter, they could have added some small blue accent of clothing if they'd wanted to, but chose not to), leaving her with purely warm, harmonious colours. she has an almost completely different palette to her daughter, but still just enough similarity (particularly with her yellow coat) to reinforce that the two are related in some way. (I'm not saying that Hilda is related to everyone who wears yellow in the show, just that the fact they share a colour helps tie them together on screen)

(yep, this is the screencap i'm choosing to illustrate this point it's fantastic)

most importantly (to me, anyway), Johanna's colours are warm. they're safe. to me, the dominance of warm colours and absence of Hilda's blue signify that Johanna is a safe person to Hilda, someone who is supposed to be a respite from her adventures rather than someone who dives into them with her (which, y'know, ties in quite nicely to Hilda's line in Stone Forest about preferring to adventure on her own and then come home to her mum, and how in the show she generally likes to keep her adventures and home life separate... (I could probably write an essay on how Hilda and Johanna's issues in season 2 were kind of a commentary on how Johanna has been coded as the safe stable bg character and how she is actively trying to go beyond that role but I shouldn't tbh)). the point is, they are connected, but Johanna doesn't have the same adventurous streak that Hilda does, so they have some of their warmer colours in common, but not Hilda's unusual, stand-out blue.

(I could also talk about Kaisa here and her copyright claim on the colour purple, but truthfully all I would be doing is paraphrasing the excellent video I linked earlier, so I won't. however I do think its fun to compare her to Johanna, in the sense that here are two adults who Hilda often comes to for guidance, and one is all warm gentle colours that match the home decor and the other all monochrome with two little hints of a colour we rarely see elsewhere in the show, suggesting that this is a character of particular interest.. it kind of hammers in how one is meant to embody the safety and comfort of Hilda's home life and the other is literally there to point hilda at things that might kill her lmao)

that was supposed to be a quick example and it got away from me so uh ANYWAY what I'm getting at here is that in Hilda's friend group, I believe their colour palettes were constructed in a similar way - they work together to tell you about the group

I feel like Hilda as a show is known for making excellent use of a limited colour palette - a lot of the characters have at least one black or brown item of clothing and just one or two stand-out colours, particularly the main trio. you can easily look at Hilda, David and Frida come away with one particular colour associated with them - blue or red for Hilda, orange for David, and...blue again for Frida, which doesn't sound great on paper but works well in the show because Hilda's palette also has a lot of red, so when the two characters are put together it doesn't seem like blue is dominating the colours. I also find Frida's colour palette (basically just her hoodie, lol) super interesting because it used to be different.

now, I haven't spoken to anyone who worked on the show about this, this is purely conjecture, but if you've ever googled the characters you've probably seen an official-looking turnaround page of Frida in a purple hoodie.

this is real pre-prod show art, and considering the purple hoodie made it all the way through the design pipeline to be included in the turnaround (generally the last stage of character design, as this is what would be given to the riggers to make the character rig)....and was even posted on twitter months before the show aired -

then I think it's safe to say that her hoodie was changed after the fact (2 or 3 episodes into production, by my vague guess looking at the date of this tweet) - not too hard to do, if your show is 2D rig animation, luckily - but if you're me and like reading into things way too hard, this begs the question of why. having purple as Frida's signature colour is perfectly serviceable and sets her apart from Hilda and David nicely. but what her new hoodie colour does is the opposite - it ties them all together

(the other possible explanation is that maybe Kaisa's design was finalised later in production than this turnaround was made (speaking purely from my own experience, secondary characters who appear in later episodes are often finalised later than the main characters, just ahead of the episode they're needed for, and Kaisa wasn't needed until halfway through the first season) and someone noticed that her and Frida sharing the colour purple made them look a little too similar...(I'm sure ppl who like the idea of Frida and Kaisa being witch sisters are yelling through the screen rn that this would've been a good thing and maybe lightly foreshadowed Frida becoming a witch, like Kaisa, but this was all set at the start of season 1, probably a bit too early to start hinting at the witch stuff :') we will come back to this tho)

anyway I love the trio's designs bc if you put Hilda and David next to eachother, they don't visually have much in common, but if you put Frida there then suddenly they're a unit. they got rid of her signature colour and gave her her friends' ones. she quite literally ties the group together so that they look cohesive as a whole

and this is absolutely me digging too deep in things here but her being the one to bring the group's colour palette together also lends itself thematically to their falling out at the end of season 1, and how Frida leaving also caused Hilda and David's friendship to struggle. they are a set and it doesn't work the same if they're not all there. Frida sharing Hilda's signature blue could also lend itself to the idea that Frida shares her love of adventures to a greater extent than David does (though maybe that's closer to 'blue curtains' territory tbh). anyway I love the design of this show so much

SO (if you actually made it this far down I'm so impressed) the thing that sparked all of this was...if this is what the trio's designs are doing in seasons 1-2.....what are the season 3 designs doing

no but this is super interesting to me, Hilda essentially just traded her skirt for leggings and left her colour palette intact, but David and Frida changed theirs entirely and I'm fascinated. both their signature colours are GONE. is it to imply that they've grown and changed in the duration of the time skip? is it David's turn on the 'having a colour in common with Hilda'?? but particularly I want to draw attention to Frida bc now that her hoodie is gone her original purple is BACK and (if there is any weight to my theory that she was changed bc she looked too similar to Kaisa) what's even more interesting is that they doubled down on the witch vibes. she literally has Kaisa's exact colour palette minus the dark purple cape lining. Kaisa's design reflected her personality as this unknowable person with a hint of mystery to her - all monochrome with that pop of an unusual colour - are we to expect the same of Frida? is this a sign that she's leaning further into witchcraft than before? does her contrast to Hilda and David signify that she's come more into her own and has a stronger sense of her own identity (something something closure for her issues in season 1)? or do we take things way too literally and assume that season 3 has her breaking off on her own from the group? or maybe it means absolutely nothing and someone on the design team just thought grey/purple was a neat combo. I know I've talked in this post as if I know things but here I truly don't and I'm obsessed w the possibilities. what does it mean what does it all mean

anyway that's all for this delusional fever dream post, hope you enjoyed and if you made it this far down you deserve some kind of prize

[linktoo-doodles]

As someone who was absolutely devouring the "Your Obedient Servant" video on youtube I just had to come over here and compliment you personally (Even if this is anonymous...)

I absolutely adore your style, it is so effectual and impactful and in the youtube video you can just genuinely feel Wilbur's fruration with Quackity and it's so, I can't find the right words... Scrumptious to look at. Like you can just feel in your core how frustrated Wilbur is and it is somehow so satisfying. Also the subtle flirty undertones..? Eating it up.

BUT TO ASK A QUESTION NOW, which of the eggs in the QSMP is your favorite and WHY? I want a detailed answer with tear stains and blood stains over it. Thank you, your art is so aspiring to a smaller artist and I just adore you and your work.

THANK YOU!!!!!!! obedient servant is seriously suchhh a big project I worked on and off for a month and the visceral feelings really ended up translating to the animation. I'm still very fond of it tbh :3

now ok with qsmp it's been hard bc I've been enjoying it massively but very differently to dsmp if that makes sense. it's not as emotionally complicated in terms of relationships just simply bc it's a new server with new people meeting each other for the first time. so it's not gonna be as deep and fun as I have been with dsmp. I haven't been watching a lot of the streams BUT i've been keeping up as much as I could through word of mouth. you know. the usual smp way

in terms of eggs I know Tallulah is the server sweetheart but from what I've been seeing about Bobby is so sweet. I love his idgaf energy. I love that he and Roier hang out off stream. I love (and lose my mind over) Jaiden crying when she thought she lost Bobby. I love that the admin had to play Tallulah for a bit. I love that Tallulah has abandonment issues stemming from being found later than everyone else. I love that the cc's have switched to "it takes a village" mindset to take care of ALL of the eggs, not just their own.

Leonarda's so cute and lovely and Chayanne's warrior spirit being compared to Techno several times including Phil telling his stories with Techno ruling the world.... wtf is wrong with them it makes my heart ache it's so so sweet...

Bad and Dapper have been hanging out off stream too AGHH seriously it gets to me so bad.. the admins are real people with real rp personalities and you can tell how much it gets a lot of the cc's attached and truly it's just been really endearing to see. I hope that covers what you wanted to hear from me ^w^

[youremyheaven]

all of my recent crushes have been rahu men (ardra and swati only - no shatabisha in sight for some reason) and i'm trying to figure out what makes someone attracted to/pull rahu dom partners?

it's just difficult bc i find that ketu and rahu are often excluded when determining things like partner significators so i wanna know how can i tell if that's my type/the type that i attract if that makes sense

also do you have any insight on ardra and/or swati men? from what i've picked up on ab both ardra and swati is both of them kind of have psycho tendencies - neurotic, need to have control/power or will lose it (e.x. rafe cameron in obx, coriolanus snow etc.), impulsive etc. specifically with ardra i see that the daddy issues run STRONG in their men. and with ardra i see that they often struggle w substance abuse too.

honestly to me their whole thing is that they're tortured (idk why but the image of robert pattinson in good time just came into my head just now and that made me laugh💀).

ooh and another thing i see in both naks is that they're charming initially but they can't keep up the ruse of that for long until you see them start to crack.

tbh as someone who has dated Nodal men, I find them scary asf 😭😩😬 one definitely struggled with alcoholism, another struggled with addiction in general

I think having heavily grounded energy (masculine planets, elements, aspects etc etc) draws these men in because they lack control and stability so they're attracted to people who seem to project what they lack

Nodal planets are shadow planets so the opposite of that is something super solid and structured (Jupiter & Saturn & Sun all come to mind) they want to seek or absorb your energy

I was into the two of them because I found the whole bad boy vibe hot asf 😭😩😬 (both of them had a Swati stellium 😳)

Nodal people can be crazy obsessive as well and being addicted is kind of innately part of their nature since they need something to latch on, that usually means you're someone who projects outwards a lot (yang influence) i.e you have enough light/qi/energy whatever you wanna call it so they can center themselves in your energy