#someone rip out my frontal lobe so I can forget all the pain the splatoon fandom caused me PLLEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEE
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I might actually have to go to a doctor this is getting bad
#rotating between manic Beika episodes and wanting to fucking krill myself because of my period is doing me shit#and the ocd#oh my god#the intrusive thoughts are so bad#i want to bite out my veins#and that mf fandom trauma be kickin in and that shit makes me wanna lobotomize myself#someone rip out my frontal lobe so I can forget all the pain the splatoon fandom caused me PLLEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEE#but Splatbands are still my hyperfixation unfortunately#and it doesn't help when my period is throwing me into manic Beika episodes#and like#I don't mind my manic Beika episodes they're fun!#they're not fun when I fall into depression and want to fucking kill myself 10 minutes after it's over#or when they remind me of how badly I have been hurt by that fandom#put me on birth control that doesn't work or violently knock me into a coma fucking please I want to die
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