#someone points it out and he hides mortified 100 ft underground for the rest of the day

[sloaners]

Tastiest to least tasty according to Zetsu?

Kisame: shark is a delicacy, right?? AN ABSOLUTE FEAST OF A MAN

Hidan: would be alive the whole time—hilarious???

Deidara: unsure if tastes more like clay; a surprise to be sure. do explosives add flavor??

Pein: a bit dead, but a six for one deal, as u can see

Nagato: would have to remove eyes and is too wiry, but Uzumaki is pretty rare nowadays

Itachi: probably tastes better than his cooking; the weird cough is not a dealbreaker

Tobi: kind of have to keep his dumb ass around for a while, no you cannot ask me why

Kakuzu: old, made of hell strings, nothing in there is appealing

Konan: much too plant adjacent, would be like eating a relative, absolutely terrible

Sasori: not even a meatbag. who wants to chew on wood?? I am not a termite!! UGH