#someone please help me to start the arthurian legends searchs

[vaquinhadecogumelinhos]

Can we talk about how Lancelot's marks glow when he is near fire in the first episode?

So, i was rewatching Cursed on the netflix for the god know how many time, and i just tought like: "Oh i should try to pay a bit more of attention to the details this time, after all i'm writing a fanfic, this would help me a lot in the criative process." But then my eyes catch in the very first scene of the Weeping monk and i just notice his tear marks glow bright red when he is in the woods burning, killing the moon wings.

My mind absolutely stoped when i saw that. Cause what do you mean Lancelot's, marks glow and i never noticed that? What kind of incredibly effective and devilish wicked spell is that? Or perhaps that was just my ADHD working again... Anyways, i am just absolutely obsessed whit this.

OK, SO WHAT IF LANCELOT'S MARKS COULD GLOW WHIT MORE THAN JUST FIRE?

Any incredibly unlucky person who has the pleasure of knowing me know that i am absolutely hiperfocused in the Arthurian legends, but i still don't know how to deepens this hiperfixation since i didn't born in one of those countries where the Arthurian legends are part of their folklore. But one specific thing about Lancelot got in my mind, that is the fact that he cries a lot, but also doesn't know how to express himself properly, and then i just got this idea when i saw the marks glowing: "What if i could make this glowing marks thing a way of him expressing emotions since he is bad whit words and facial expressions?"

And that's exactly what am i going to do.

From now on, i have this headcanon that Lancelot's marks glow when he feels too strong emotions or feelings. For example: If he is too embarassed, along whit his blushing cheeks, his marks will glow slight pink too. And if he is too sad, his marks will glow in deep wine-color.

But what if i could go even further?

Hear me out in this one. The idea of Lancelots marks glow whit strong feeling and emotions is cool, right? But what if it went further?

I don't know how to explain, (actually i do but that's just cause i like how it sounds) but how about the idea of the Ashfolk having inner marks?

This might sound like a crazy idea or one of those you just have at 03:06 AM while is surviving on only coffee and refuses to sleep. BUT IT SOUNDS SO COOL IN MY MIND. Like, they have tear marks that possibly glow in the fire, but what if they also had inner marks in their lungs and heart that also can glow whit overwhelming feelings?

And that could also give and opening for a possible fire power, cause if they marks glow inside their bodys and react to the fire, who said they cannot actually procreate fire, more especificly fey fire?

I am probably going to be more obcene than i expected but, can you only imagine if Lancelot were having sex whit someone (i'd say Gawain but if you're a Nimulot shipper that fits too) and he is just so overwhelmed whit the pleasure and wonderful new sensations that his heart and lungs glow in pleasure while he archs his back and moan like a fucking wh0re gripping the bed sheets as if for his dear life? well i can, and it's absolutely marving.

And finally, conclusion.

My point is, i didn't notice it the first time i watched, but this is just a too good oportunity for head canons and roamtic fanfics promps to just let it pass.

My head canon is made, and is not just about him but the hole ashfolk. They have marks inside their bodies, in the lugs and heart, and the obvious ones in the face. And the marks glow whit strong or overwhelming feelings/emotions, or when they are near/surrounded by fire.

And just for the sake of it, the last part on the "What if i could go even further" topic was just cause i saw a reblogged post by @lancedoncrimsonwings of a suggestion of a fic called "Came a lot" of the weeping monk by @baezen, and i just tought it whoul fit in very well.

Hunted kisses for you❤️

[queer-ragnelle]

the arthuriana essays you share on here are always so interesting and well-researched! are there specific places you go to look for them or do they just kind of find you over time?

Hi anon! This is a complex answer. Research is never simple lol obligatory disclaimer I'm just some random enthusiast and in no way an academic, this is just how I go about it.

I find essays in a variety of places. JSTOR is where most of the stand-alone essays came from (IE; not otherwise published in a book, sometimes in journals I cannot find). I’ve been very fortunate to have friends lend me their college bypass so I could download from there, as I would be unable to access them otherwise.

Sometimes, while reading books, like The Friend by Alan Bray, there will be a reference to an influential essay or article, such as Faithful Unto Death, which describes the joint tomb of Sir John Clanvowe and Sir William Neville. For that paper, a friend had to request it from their own institution, wait for it, and then give it to me. I'd been staring longingly at it for literally years but couldn't justify paying the $30+ asking price for a PDF. I was lucky, once again, to have help.

Another way to find these academic resources is by reading the footnotes or bibliography in the back of books and tracing the source of individual essays or articles back to a bigger collection contributed by a variety of authors contained in a single volume (like A Companion to Malory I shared a few days ago). I learned about Alan Bray specifically because other essayists kept referencing his work! From there, I sought him out. The same has happened as I delved into Zoroastrian studies. The literature there is limited (at least in the English language, as I cannot read Persian or Hindi). So I found myself researching in a circle, following the trail of names until I ran out of scholars and they just referenced each other's work back and forth. I had consumed the entire body of [English] literature on the subject, so I knew I had come to collect the same resources as these essayists and historians had! Once you start going, "Hey, it's my friend [scholar] again!" you know you're in deep haha!

Much the same has happened with Arthurian legend. Norris J Lacy, known for his work as head editor of the translation team that tackled the Vulgate, is everywhere. He's the editor of countless textbooks, translator of medieval poems and prose, and even wrote his own retelling, A Camelot Triptych. Once you find someone in a field of interest that pops up a lot, you can begin searching for relevant resources through their name, rather than relying on blindly sifting through thousands of papers tagged "King Arthur".

Essayists don't make any money on this stuff. Institutions even charge people to publish their work. It's perfectly acceptable to obtain that knowledge however necessary. If you don't have college access yourself nor a friend who can help, there are websites to pirate from. (Please use a VPN to protect yourself.) Some websites are specific to the field, like science, which isn't my expertise, so I can't offer guidance there. But I've had luck on annas-archive.

It can be easy to assume everyone has the same opportunities, that a screenshot or link to JSTOR is sufficient for someone to access the same information mentioned in a post. It's tough when tumblr doesn't let you upload a PDF! It makes sharing resources difficult. One could dedicate money and cloud space to it (like I do with Google and MEGA drive) or upload it to a discord server where it can't breach containment and reaches only a limited audience. It's not ideal! And it's no individual's responsibility to tackle the problems with academia and gatekeeping, of course, but my goal is to source as much of what I discuss as I possibly can, as well as share those resources with anyone who could benefit from them. A librarian basically lol so I'm glad the essays I've shared have been beneficial to you!

[vikingqueer]

music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

[fuck-too-many-hyperfixations]

Arthur comes back

Au of Arthur coming back and finding Merlin in a library telling a story of their lives to all the children.

Arthur entered a large building and looked around nervously. Surrounding him were papers all binded and had front and back of extremely thick leather all varied in colors. The once King pulled one off a shelf and opened one, seeing that it seemed like a different shaped kind of scroll. Arthur continued to take climb up more flights of stairs, hoping someone could give him a sort of clue to where he was. Then the blond heard a voice that made him stop and "subtlety" dive behind a shelf to look.

There, sitting criss cross on a thin rug, surrounded by children of all sizes, was a familiar raven. Merlin was wearing a simple white button up, blue pants of unfamiliar material, and black rectangular glasses placed flawlessly on his nose. His face bright with his smile, his eyes full of age, and his shoulders seemed heavy. But Merlin held himself like it was gone from his mind a long time against ago.

"And with a final nod of his head, Kilgarrah said, "young warlock. What you have shown is what you will be... I will not forget your clemency. Our paths will cross again." And he spread his large wings, and took off into the night. Merlin stands there for a moment, before hearing a groan come from behind, and realizes that Arthur was waking up. He raced to his side to make sure the prince was okay.

"Where's the dragon gone?" He asked, looking around in confusion. Merlin smiled kindly at him, and once more aloud for the prince to believe in himself that he will be a great king one day, for he was strong and noble already. And responded with, "he flew off. You dealt him with a mortal blow." Re two stared at each other for a while longer, before Arthur threw back his head and laughed, Merlin joining him at the sight of the giddy relief in his master, his friend, his king. The end." Merlin took a breath, "alrighty, story time is over, I'll tell another one tomorrow."

That made all the kids whine and groan, all begging for just one more story, but Arthur watched Merlin shake his head. "Sorry, your families are waiting for you guys, time to go! Bye!" He stood up only to get tackled in hugs by all the children, which made him laugh.

An older lady, presumably a grandmother to a child, approached Merlin, "that was an amazing story, Mr. Morgan. How do you come up with varied stories of Arthurian legend?"

Arthur frowned at the name, 'Mr. Morgan', but continued to listen.

"Please, call me Colin. And thank you very much, I just feel as though I lived and dedicated my life to this kind of legend. But it would be a bit boring with just the usual noble, perfect king, and a wrinkly old man. What could be better than two confusing, and crazy confused, teens instead?"

The woman laughed at that, "very true Colin, I know May enjoys your stories. Especially you calling her a little princess."

Merlin, Colin?, beamed at that, "always happy to help lift spirits and engage imaginations! Any who, if you'll excuse me, I'm afraid I do have to catch the subway. Have a great day, ma'am"

Merlin stretched and picked up a messenger bag, and quickly headed towards the stairs. Which just so happened to be right past where Arthur was getting out of his hiding spot to go somewhere else. He wasn't sure if this was his Merlin or 'Colin Morgan'

This caused a full on crash, making both of them take a tumble back to the ground. Merlin's glasses fell off.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't see you, my friend always did tell me I was horribly clumsy. Too bad that he didn't know I needed glasses. Though you didn't need to learn that. Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Merlin spewed out, searching for his glasses, fully blind without them.

Arthur spotted them and decided to take a chance, picking them up, "do I know you?" Merlin froze and shut up immediately. "Just kidding." He placed the glasses back in place on so Merlin could see him. "Hello, Merlin."

Arthur felt the panic rise within him as Merlin stared. Maybe this was Colin Morgan. A few more seconds of silence and Merlin started to shake, before throwing his arms around the blond for a hug.

"Arthur! You came back! Oh my gosh you're back! You're back! You. Are. BACK."

[empty-dream]

Me watching Fate/Apocrypha ep 3

Great, rape dungeon as the opening of the episode

If Astolfo isn’t, you know, Astolfo, this story would end up Heaven’s Feel 2.0

Pile o’homunculi

For someone who is afraid af to die, Homunculus sounds so chill

Exhibit 1 of Astolfo being an angel

After watching the op for like 2000 times, I just notice no casters from either side in the fighting scene

Which is still not fair, even if one is Renaissance YOLO trash and the other is forgotten Lady Gaga :(

For those who don’t like the song, please watch it for 2000 times and you will like it enough. If that doesn’t work, well pray Kalafina or Aimer fill the seat in second season like usual

New life goal: Be able to lie blatantly yet it still fucking works like Astolfo just did

Avicebron mulling over the lost part of his barbie doll

Hoo boy you don’t know what’s coming for you right Roche

Everybody needs Chiron’s help for everything. Everything.

I’m so happy they animate the “I help him because I can” scene

Exhibit 2 of Astolfo being an angel

Exhibit 3 of Astolfo being an angel

Fuck Apocrypha is just a whole series of exhibits of Astolfo being an angel

Shirou playing house with other masters lol

Karna: Hi, Ruler *nukes her*

Jeanne be like “Yo boy why are u attacking the referee do u even know how to war”

I love hearing Karna speak his voice is nice

Anime is when a character takes absolutely everybody seriously in a deathly fight and has people calling him noble and kind

I mean Karna is noble and kind. His life just always sucks.

Gordes maybe you want to try exercising to lose some weight

Gorder: *appears* Karna: *judging bitchface*

Gordes: “Okay 2 vs 1 this gonna be easy” Jeanne: “Well I’ll just watch.” Gordes: “Shit I’m fucked.”

I was half expecting Arjuna flashback to show up but none :(

But we get Siegfried’s flashback so yeah! :)

Oh the grand battle. WHO IS SUMANAI NOW HUUUUHHH?!

It’s sad that Siegfriend thinks his fight with Karna is the one thing he dares hoping to have again in the future. 

It’s even sadder that it’s reciprocated.

Gordes stop it you just appear to embarrass yourself.

Is Gordes trying to ass-kissing Ruler? Because not only that doesn’t work, but he does a very terrible job at doing that.

Jeanne having the common problem faced by travelers

Was Astolfo the one who fits Homunculus in that outfit? Did he just go to a random homunculus butler and say “Ey nice suit, you know who’s nice in that too? Homun- I mean, ME, OF COURSE HAHAHAHAH gimme one”

Wise teacher Chiron.

Homunculus be like “I’ve just escaped from certain death, told I wouldn’t live long anyway, and now left alone to have some existential crisis. Great.”

Any scene with Caules is a good scene for me. Any scene. A. N. Y.

CAULES BLUSHING AT FRAN IS A NATIONAL TREASURE

Caules: “Hi (´∀｀)” Fran: You again ㅜ_ㅜ

For a master of Berserker, his communication skill with his servant is great. Not as great as Ilya but, compared to everybody else who is not Guda(k)o, great.

Is Caules just searching for Fran so that he can play matchmaker???

When a Berserker is judging your answer, you know you gotta revise it.

If you know Caules’s backstory, his saying he loves and values Fiore more than the Root and those magic stuffs is incredibly heartwarming.

I mean, he could have just hate her, envy her, and run away, but no he doesn’t.

Now you know why I love Caules.

I AM SO GLAD CAULES-FRAN SCENE GETS THIS MUCH SCREENTIME GOD BLESS U A-1

Chiron: My wish is selfish. Fiore: No my wish is more selfish. Chiron: No mine is more selfish. Fiore: No my wish is more selfish than yours. Chiron: Ok then but I understand your selfishness. Fiore: Cool I understand yours too. 

And that’s how an OTP is made.

Now open: Trifas Graveyard Hangout Cafe by Mordred and Kairi

Who has the idea of animating Mordred in her casual outfit relaxing on floor and twiddling with a skull UR A GENIUS

So you see here the fact that even the villain of the Arthurian legend is a decent person deep down.

You need Mordred to do something just call her “Your Highness” she’d do it

Can I request a montage of Kairi dealing with fatherhood.

Bone Fax Machine is totally radical

Spartacus frolicking in the forest while his parents are watching over him from the trees. Sounds about right.

I HAVE SEEN THE OTP OF APOCRYPHA

Darnic: “So there is a madman laughing and screaming in the middle of a forest. I reckon it’s Berserker.” Me: “No shit Sherlock.”

You know, a plan that starts with an evil grin is likely not a good plan at all

FYI I have also listened to the ending song for like 2000x too and I decide I fucking love this song.

Time to replay the op and ed song for another thousand times until ep 4 comes out

Bless this episode for Astolfo, Karna and Caules

[fuck-too-many-hyperfixations]

Arthur loves Merlin part 1

So Arthur loves Marlene, but Marlene is Merlin, but Merlin doesn't know that. How did this come to be? Simple, Arthur chickened out and lied.

Now Merlin thinks that Arthur's in love and spends time with her when Arthur's in love with him and is instead finding their reincarnated friends and family that actually remember.

Isn't this an adventure.

----------------------------------------

There was a small knock on Merlin's bedroom door, startling the warlock. It had been an interesting few months, and he still wasn't used to sharing his small flat with a certain someone. Merlin put his book down, "yeah?"

"Merlin, can I... can I come in?" Arthur sounded unsure of himself, which wasn't a surprise anymore, he had been confused and unsure of himself since the moment he saw the modern world. They'd have to work on that soon.

"Of course you can."

The door opened to reveal a blond haired, used to be, king shuffling into the room, and he looked absolutely miserable. "Merlin... I think I'm besotted. Absolutely, one hundred percent in love. And they're breaking my heart, and the worst part? they don't even know it."

This made Merlin's heart shatter. Arthur wasn't up to date on how to modern day "court" someone, and most weren't up to date on old fashion courting. His best friend looked like a lost, hurt little puppy.

Merlin smiled sadly, and moved over to allow Arthur to sit on the bed next to him.

Arthur decidedly flopped on the bed on his stomach instead, and groaned.

Merlin sighed, and patted his back comfortingly, "why don't you tell me about them? Maybe it will make you feel better" he suggested.

Arthur said something that Merlin couldn't quite catch, but the blond sat up, and placed his head in his hands, "well... they're really, really wonderful. They're beautiful and they're eyes hold the world, and all of its love and joy and wisdom. And they're smile, oh my- their smile is literally my undoing no matter what the circumstances, it makes me happy and makes me melt into a puddle. And they're always looking so proud, but not of themselves, about others they care about. They're willing to do anything to help another, and their laugh pulls on my heart and makes butterflies in my stomach. And I think I'm truly in love with them, but they keep rejecting me and I'm not sure if they're not interested or if they just don't understand. It feels like it's ripping me apart, slowly but surely. You know?"

Merlin stared at Arthur in shock, never had he become so animated about someone before. It hurt Merlin to know that Arthur was in love and even more so than with Gwen. But he hid his pain, like usual, and gave a beaming smile, "Arthur, they sound wonderful. What's the special one's name?"

Arthur looked Merlin in the eyes, and cleared his throat meaningfully, "M-M-" he dropped his gaze suddenly, "Marlene!" He practically shouted, "uh... her name's... Marlene." He added quieter this time, then gave a smile, "anyway, thanks for the talk. Er- night Merlin." He left almost hurriedly.

After that, Arthur seemed back to normal again. Yelling at Merlin about the little things, calling him an idiot, and complaining about modern technology. Except for that fact that he seemed to love modern technology.

Always going online and looking up different kinds of Arthurian legend, laughing at how they portrayed Merlin as either an old man or a tree, and everything in between. He read himself to be a just and worthy king, and smirked at Merlin. Obviously they had gotten him correct, he was a wonderful person to be around.

Merlin didn't think so, and told him that.

After a while, Arthur had started leaving the comfy flat by himself, absolutely refusing to allow Merlin to come along to wherever he was going.

It made the raven extremely nervous, but he never said anything. The hours without the once and future king gone was beyond torture. Those were the moments that Merlin couldn't breathe, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. This is when he was pacing, and hyperventilating, and throwing stuff against walls.

Arthur never knew, the second he started to turn the doorknob, Merlin would sigh in relief and quickly clean everything up, his breakdowns far from evident.

The warlock could have just used him magic to watch Arthur and what he did in town, but ever since that conversation about Marlene, he hadn't wanted to invade his friend's privacy. Arthur had never brought up the subject again, but seemed to be happier by the week.

Merlin had gotten better with his episodes lately though, it took longer for him to panic, and he was starting to be able to last a good four hours before it started up again. But then came the day that Arthur was gone for three days, no word, no warning, nothing.

Arthur sat in a pub, grinning at the people sitting with him. For months he had been searching out his closest friends, ever since getting into an accidental bar fight, which included Gwaine.

The knight had recognized him right away, and met him in a hug. They had started meeting up, Arthur had hidden it from Merlin in an attempt to surprise him. No doubt the warlock would be pleased to see his friends.

With Gwaine's help, he had found Percival, Leon, Elyan, Gwen and Lancelot. Along with Morgana, who was in this life married to Leon and had a son named Mordred. They were both happy to see Arthur and apologetic with what had happened between them when in Camelot.

Now, he was being shoved in a crowded car with Gwaine driving, along with Percival in the back. The others were sadly to busy to come with, but swore to meet back at the tavern, pub, Arthur corrected in his head, after they had found the last three.

The reason for this three day weekend trip was because they had caught wind of Gauis, Hunith, and Balinor all living in the same small town on the country side. Arthur was practically bouncing in his seat.

The blond was telling his two knights of all the things that Merlin had taught him about the modern world, along with how Merlin was the one that found him, and how much it meant to him that Merlin didn't care that he wasn't a servant, and still took care of Arthur, and how Merlin simply beamed like the sun when Arthur discovered something on his own, and how proud Merlin was when Arthur had accomplished making a modern breakfast and served Merlin in bed because he was excited.

Arthur was just in the middle of telling Gwaine and Percy the time when Merlin couldn't stop giggling because Arthur had attempted to make his own bed, but somehow got tangled in the sheets when Gwaine interrupted him,

"So what I'm getting from all this is that you want to be his boyfriend." He stated nonchalantly, glancing at Arthur.

His jaw dropped, before protesting, "I don't want to be Merlin's boyfriend!"

This time Percy spoke up, "well... what do you want then...?"

The king frowned and tried to think, "I don't know! I-I want to be with him all the time. I want to hear all about his day and tell him about mine. I want to hold his hand and smell his hair. And run my fingers over his wonderful cheekbones and kiss him whenever I want. But I don't want to be his stupid boyfriend!" He finished, glaring at them.

Gwaine shook his head, "Mate. You've got it bad. Just admit it. You would love to be his boyfriend."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Percy mused, "just look at me and Gwaine."

That made Arthur freeze for a moment, mind reeling. He had no idea that Gwaine and Percival were a thing, and they didn't care about what others thought.

Come to think of it, Arthur wondered how on earth he didn't notice their relationship. They were extremely open about it, holding hands and Gwaine hadn't flirted with anyone since Arthur could remember this time around, anyone except Percival.

Gwaine looked over at the king, mildly amused, "it's perfectly normal to feel like this. And now that Gwen and Lancelot are together, you can have Merlin. Just talk to him about it."

"I tried." Arthur stated, grimacing, "but then I chickened out and now he thinks I'm in love with some girl named 'Marlene'."

The driver snorted, "of course you did. Just think about it, Princess. I think there's a pretty good chance that Merlin feels the same."

Indeed, the entire time, Arthur did think about it, considering Merlin was on his mind 100% of the time.

They were right about Gauis, Hunith, and Balinor. They had all remembered and Hunith welcomed the boy's with open arms. Forcing them to sit and eat, having two guest bedrooms. Arthur took one while Gwaine and Percival obviously took the other. As Arthur lied on the full sized bed, he felt oddly lonely. The blond found the urge to get up, like he did every night, and go visit Merlin in his room. They would always just talk about anything and everything, and Arthur loved it.

He fell asleep with a certain warlock still on his mind.

The next day, Arthur told them why they had come in the first place. Arthur had spent a long time searching for close family and friends, and Arthur felt Merlin needed his family too.

All three agreed at once, and they piled into Gwaine's car. Balinor drove so Gwaine sat in Percy's lap instead. There were only five seats anyway, but six people.

Arthur knew Gwaine would have done it anyway, given the choice.

With that, they drove back home, Arthur feeling pleased with himself.

They met others at the pub, and Arthur took them to the little flat that he and Merlin shared.