#someone on reddit said that it's fun to play but shit to think about and yeah. that's basically it.

[mellowthorn]

roughly 20 hours into veilguard and man, this game is bizarre. i love the combat and am having a blast exploring and doing side quests, but then it completely fails on all the aspects that i most care about in a dragon age game (characters, roleplaying, worldbuilding, story). the writing is so painfully surface-level that it no longer even feels like the same series.

[snakewithawitchhat]

Bill Headcanons

I have enough of these to fill up my guts whatever that means

Includes: Normal, readerxbill platonic, readerxbill romantic, freaky stuff he into

Normal

He definitely said skibidi once because he had no idea what it meant or where it came from

He would probably honest to god enjoy interacting with an iPad kid because he thinks they're fucking funny

Tea person over coffee

Probably reads books on the randomest subjects. Mostly they all have human psychology in common, though. Or anatomy.

His favorite kids movie is Wreck It Ralph, favorite adult movie is Shawn of The Dead (He doesn't believe British people are actually real and finds the movie funny), favorite horror movie is probably something really obscure and is just plain goreporn or something like that.

(In my opinion) I feel like if he had a more anthropomorphic form (legs and arms and body) it would probably be something VERY weird core or something like that. Like, extra limbs, weird ass colors, and random effects. He'd probably keep the triangle imagery, though.

Would definitely just say random ass shit to freak people out

He has a thing for teeth. Not, like, a weird thing or a sex thing. He just really thinks they're cool.

If he had an iPad... he'd spend all day either being your standard reddit user or an iPad kid.

Probably like King from The Owl House sometimes.

Speaking of TOH, he met The Collector once. He thought the kid was neat and played a few games of chess with him before leaving. Probably one of the inspirations for The Collector's insaneness

He also met The Core from Amphibia. Or at least knew the core existed.

His favorite human color is either red, yellow, or orange. It's really everything on the hot side of the color wheel tbh.

Platonic X reader

Dream invasion time-- He would SO rummage through your mind if you made a deal with him.

If you pissed him off, he'd probably jab a fork in your arm while possessing you. He wouldn't be as insane as he was with Stanford's body, though. He wants yours to work properly.

Dream demon or not, he probably had a Drea- NIGHTMARE... it was SO a nightmare... about having more fun with you if you built the portal.

Would be touchy. Not in a weird way (if you ask, he'll stop) but he'll just, like, pat your shoulder or something like that.

If Weirdmageddon 2 happens he is SO finding you and inviting you to his party. You're coming, too. You don't got a choice. Womp womp.

If one of his friends were to eat you, he'd probably be disappointed as all hell, but it really depends on how close you are with him. Besties? He'd kill that monster and resurrect you with the parts left. Just acquaintances? Who are you again?

Would still possess you even after he gets a physical form. (he likes to prank you)

Romantic X reader

Clingy bastard. If your insert is mortal, he'll be by your side 24/7 if Weirdmageddon is happening. Even if your insert ISN'T mortal.

Would be even MORE touchy.

He'd set up boundaries and be clear with his own while probably ignoring yours. (he isn't a great partner)

It's probably a toxic one-sided relationship at first. Bill is NOT a good person at ALL. He always had a goal in mind. He sees his romantic interest of you as a little thing that just ALSO happened.

Probably gets flustered by affection really easily if you're the one showing it.

He won't know much about human affections, so you'll probably have to show him the ropes.

Before you do THAT, though, he'll probably just bite you (with his freaky fucking eyeball mouth thing). Not even as a sexual or possessive thing. He just likes to bite you. It's like an awkward thing he can't control. Get too close and he can feel your warmth? Bite. Bite. BITE. It's not light stuff, though. It's always hard enough to draw blood. Purposeful or not. (It's not on purpose)

He doesn't get JEALOUS, but he does get a little insecure if you start getting infatuated with someone else.

If you're hurt from someone, you BEST know he's overprotective as fuck. Your puny mortal body is pathetic, but if you lose it, he loses you, too.

You aren't aging ever again. You aren't DYING ever again. No. He won't let you die ever. Body is giving out? Here's a new one. Forgetting...? No, he'll plant more memories in your mind. He's too late and you're dead...? No you aren't... You'll always be conscious. Whether your body is rotting around your mind or not.

Sex junk

Sadist. 100% all the way. Not even light things, like slaps. No, if you consent, he will full on break your bones.

He doesn't feel sexual gratification like humans do, so it's more of just something he'll do to either please or displease you. Whichever one, it's almost always about how you feel.

He doesn't have a dick, so you'll be on the receiving end always. Unless you REALLY want to give.

He has a giant eyeball on him. He definitely likes to watch.

Always tops because there isn't much you can do to dominate him. He'll try to let you if you really wanna, but it probably won't be the easiest.

Blood kink. That's it. He thinks it's so pretty on you. Especially if it's yours.

[dtmsrpfcringe]

I was wondering if it's worth writing to you or not, because you only know how to insult everyone who writes to you (then you say you're not rude) but dude... why do you care what those blogs do or don't do? Do you think Georgia or Anna will send you a message thanking you for defending them? Do you think you'll win a medal of honor as if you were the owner of morality? Do you REALLY think that a small group of people who play at guessing what happens in the private lives of some celebrities will influence the lives of those celebrities? For real??

If the pr doesn't exist then there is nothing to worry about. Everything they discuss will be mere fantasies and that's it. Nobody cares! These ladies have more important things to do than to go around looking at what is being said about them.

okay when do I say I’m not rude? My “pr tag” is called bitch pr for the love of god. I match energies; if someone comes up on my page calmly I’m going to answer calmly…if someone is a bitch however I am gonna give that back. I don’t take disrespect and I certainly don’t play ball with assclowns.

also RE: Anna Georgia. No. I don’t do it for them and frankly would prefer if they don’t involve me because the last time a celebrity asked for my help I was stalked by a lady for several years so I would NOT like to do that again thank you very much. I mean it still hasn’t ended, she is probably watching this rn: hi girl i hope you're miserable and lonely!!!

the reason i do this is for the fandom, for the people who tell me they're grateful I'm here and that they hate this toxicity that has slowly been allowed to leech into our fandom (at least on tumblr, reddit, for once has done something right and banished those fools) and fun fact, your words online can and do affect real life people, lets refer back to my last case for a moment. Blah blah blah crazy woman espouses some shit online about his fake marriage and who she should be with and then this other woman gets real inspired by it AND SHOWS UP AT HIS HOUSE. And lets not forget kpop sasaengs

I hope this helps!!

[salamispots]

I woke up at 3:45 am with shrine music in my brain so I'm gonna yell a little about totk spoilers below fhhhhh mostly about game things no real plot stuff haha

the intRO :'D that mononoke touch ahhhhh idk why but specifically the scene/shot of link's hearts going down from the wiggly worm demon smoke thing is stuck in my brain/makes me feel emotional

also the whole 'I was gone for a bit and the world looks different but sort of the same/everyone moved on' made me feel a little like the evangelion movie when shinji wakes up and he's still the same gives me feeLINGS not necessarily bad; maybe a little bittersweet? idk

I keep giggling at how GOOFY some of the weapons look when they're fused and the names (like...thick stick stick or something LMAO)

the glee of using a rocket for the first time also I'm building the most basic shit hahah I'm not particularly good/creative at stuff like this

ahhhh I loved how there's still those big stone talus in the game and the first one I come across is disguised as a base for bokoblin

the instantaneous fuck off panic of running into those red arm/hands and panicking because you run out of stamina while running away hahah

speaking of tHE MUSIC OH MY GOD I love the shrine music so much? and the first time when you go to the depths when you're falling the tone shift is so eerie

exploring too far into an area where you're too underleveled and getting one hit killed by something haha

when you leave the sky islands for the first time I was hanging out at the very top and was like...surely they're not saying just to jump off? I thought you were supposed to build something to get down but I sorta just fell off for the heck of it and I was extremely charmed by the fact that they said yes you can jump off and just dive into some random body of water from miles above in the sky and again I love the music for that/when you're first introduced to the sky islands

sky islands fun but it's nice being on the ground hahahfg/having a glider now and not constantly breaking into a sweat at hEIGHTS haha like....I went to the top of the temple and crawled all the way around to the other side of the locked doors lmao but the amount of times I slipped and fell of those tiny ledges

I still love freefalling and using the glider at the last second

running into a tree for the first time HAHA and the ominous tiptoeing after you

also yeah controls feel better now/just had to play more but I still definitely keep pressing the wrong buttons for things

I think once I got off the sky islands and to the ground that was kinda when I got fully invested? like again before actually buying the game and playing it I was kinda like ehhh I'll probably play it some point

also the game reigniting my need for link zelda ganon ot3 content :'D

the fondness of having character designs be 3/4 torso ahahha

PURAH I love her ouTFIT

the little detail of chasing fish and the fish trying to escape actually beached themselves on the shore??

LINK HUMMING WHILE COOKING I've only recognized one song so far (saw someone on reddit say they also heard song of storms and it clicked in my brain so now two haha)

oh! I love the amount of nooks and crannies to explore! like all the wells and caves >:0

ngl didn't end up finishing botw (I absolutely did look up the ending before I played totk HAHA >:'D ) because I ended up exploring the majority of the map/got bored after that and I didn't particularly like how the map felt empty/the same after a while? idk if the same thing will pop up again for me in totk but I do like how there's some new enemies and it feels more lively so far? we'll see

ALSO LMAO fighting bokoblins with a moblin and the moblin just straight picking up a bokoblin and throwing it at me??

[immakuronaakuma]

Watching this video made me think of magical girls (a genre made by women and aimed at women) and how much it’s changed to target boys.

Magical Girl Deconstructions have existed for a long time, a lot of people who write these stories tend to try to change the genre in some way either because it would be interesting to the story (Phantom Thief Jeanne had the “your magical familiar/friend is actually evil” twist before Madoka) or because it would be a fun change (Cardcaptors has the protagonist Sakura wear different outfits because the creator said that a lot of MG shows have the characters wear one outfit all the time and she felt sad by it and decided to give Sakura different clothes every time).

But… there’s one problem. As an example, Princess Tutu is a show with magical elements, but it’s more focused on deconstructing fairytales. The story is beautiful with tragedy tied to it, it delves into the roles of different characters in a story and how they’re unhappy being trapped in roles where they’re doomed to suffer, and watching it makes you yearn for the heroes to come out happy and safe in the end after all their trials and tribulations…. But apparently, people didn’t want to interact with the show because it’s titled “Princess Tutu”.

(Example reviews from PT’s review list on Google, Reddit, and MyAnimeList)

Some of the reviews I see have a reoccurring theme of not taking the show too seriously because “it’s too girly” or “too pink”, things that make a man insecure because the patriarchy has connected these things to girls and girls and the things they like are rarely treated with respect, and men who want to be seen as men and be taken seriously by their peers would no doubt feel scared about liking something decidedly “not masculine”.

Compare that Madoka Magica, an equally girly sounding show… but here’s the bigger piece of the problem: Princess Tutu is about something, it has something to say… Madoka Magica is about nothing, it just goes “hey what if magical girls killed each other OOOOOOO!”. Can you guess which show is more popular and remembered by the general public?

I won’t shame people for liking Madoka, but I will say it’s interesting to see people get different reads and pro-feminism themes from a story that is about as feminist as “J.K. Rowling and the Black Mold in Hogwarts’ Bathroom” and has as much to say about anything as a fish with no vocal chords.

This, and the teenage years of animation where people wanted to have serious stories but at the same time they wanted to keep watching Toonami without the normies laughing at them (leading to shows like Steven Universe and Star Vs., two shows that want to talk about war and genocide but at the same time they want to keep having anime fights and dramatic song numbers and they want the story to end with everyone hugging), have made an unfortunate trend for the deconstruction genre overall. The 2010s were full of Madoka-likes trying to cash in on the success of making a Magical Girl show that appeals to men. A lot of popular stuff in the MG genre was either things that were already an established franchise or some new magical girl show that is just “it’s like magical girls but darker and maybe some underage boob is in it!”

The appeal of MG Deconstructions in their later years became less of trying to be about things or having something to say on an issue, even if messy (such as the messy writing of Revolutionary Girl Utena) and more of those unfunny guys in the high school locker room trying to outdo each other and unfortunately… it worked.

Say what you want about how shit the Madoka-likes are, but despite there being lots of magical girl shows out there that I never even heard of before (there’s a fandom wiki dedicated to magical girl shows throughout the years), everyone’s gonna bring up that poor attempt someone made to ride on the coattails of someone who played the shock-jock roulette and won over something like Onegai My Melody, and that’s a magical girl show produced by one of the most popular and well-known companies on the planet!

This whole post is me rambling my thoughts about Magical Girls and misogyny and how these two together have created the modern day MG deconstruction genre that we now know of, but to get to the root of my rambling:

There’s a lot of good magical girl shows that you don’t know about and that we’ll never know about. Even some of the most well-known shows are stuck in their original language, the closest we’ll get to being able to watch them is through subs, some might even still be stuck as mangas. A lot of fans are left having to be the ones translating this content, content usually aimed at girls, to english and archiving as much as we can before it falls into obscurity.

Everything Madoka does isn’t unique. Even the ending of sacrificing yourself to save others was done a lot better in the Sugar Sugar Rune manga, where Chocola and Pier risk their lives to stop Glace from destroying the magical world, and THEY GET TO SURVIVE AND REUNITE WITH THEIR FRIENDS IN THE END.

But Sugar Sugar Rune is a girly romance show. Madoka Magica is an edgy big-kid show that isn’t anything like that “girly chick-flick junk”, therefore it’s better. Edgy MG Deconstructions are pure junk written by people who don’t know what magical girls are to begin with and just wanting to ride the popular coattails of another work… but you’re going to hear about them just once, and it’s more than a lot of obscure magical girl shows get.

[sinistersinister]

dragula finale liveblog, under the cut. i'll just make one post and type in it as i watch.

warning: spoilers ahead

first thought: a lip-synch? may the best monster win? this is just goth rupaul i guess.

second thought: the boulets are gorgeousssssss i LOVE their headpieces. anna-varney CUNTodea more like

skipping most of the confessionals. i want to be surprised. but i did catch nio's and it's like hoso's, part 2, but it's an important message and it still feels fresh.

love throb's filth idea.

ork remains colombian tommy wiseau. "my filth look is inspired by this... fucking GROSS slug... i found one time in a bathroom."

ork is such a sweetheart. i do not get why the fandom on reddit seems to hate him. i think it's probably classism and maybe a bit of racism. he's like what jay kay said they were-- up-front and honest and 'telling it like it is.' unlike jay kay, ork can actually dish it out AND take it, it seems like. (i do not dislike jay kay, but the way they were portrayed on the show made it seem like they were immature but not in the fun way. i do love a shit-stirrer but i like someone who's more incisive and self-aware about it.)

throb is very sincere and a bit socially inept. which i find charming.

i would have loved to see more of blackberri beyond 'nicey cutie with a beard.' like that weird tangent a few episodes ago about the christian traveling puppet show. like what? hello??? that was FASCINATING? she spent too much time being the producers' friend and not enough time being blackberri. imo.

at this point (~20 minutes in) i think nio's taking the crown.

FILTH TIME!

first thought: ork needs more goop for his slug to be gross. it's just cute, not filthy.

second thought: oh. oh THERE'S the slime. i am literally gagging so that's a good indication this was a 'successful' look. not the first time i've seen that pose from ork tho. nonetheless i would have liked more slime. it's a 'fucking GROSS slug,' so i want slimes and goops!

first thought: blackberri doing some christian puppetry callbacks with that suit. i think that's a good idea. playing to her strengths. it's kind of cute and menacing in an '80s mascot costume that was left in a warehouse and is now mildewed and spooky' way.

second thought: insufficiently filthy. ohhh you ate a raw fish. and? and? put more gross trash in your mouth! nose fell off too!

first thought: throb is also not sufficiently gross. but i love the lewk.

second thought: nvm i am again litcherally gagging. i have a thing about bubbly fluids and i was never more glad for 'switching tabs and looking away.'

fist thought: NIO OH GROSSSSSSSSSS. nio proving that the filthiest thing......is racism U___U. also slopping around in rotting food. that is also very nasty.

second thought: idk there was more potential for nio being gross. she came out so strong and i was underwhelmed by how gross she didn't get. make soy sauce come out of the pig foot strap on!!!!

winner: throb. i think a filth look is successful if it makes me feel sick.

post-show: oh, i didn't know ork was trying to literally puke. it would have been SO good if it had worked. next time put some ipecac on that tail, ork!

HORROR TIME

woah ork has great taste in obscure scary movies!!!! blackberri has a great taste in classic horror movies!!!! the girlies have done the reading!

nio: this could have been a glamour look. giving TITTYcut follies. i think the bodysuit was underwhelming though. same with the hairography.

blackberri: LOVE the idea and i think the execution is 80% there. the glittery blood is SO good. i just wish the skin looked more like skin and less like a trash bag? also lol at the silly little heels.

ork: jesus christ

throb: eh, whatever. why the pregnancy? i liked how unwholesome and distended the belly looked. maybe they could have leaned into that more?

winner: ork. i mean. come on. runner-up: blackberri based on concept alone.

GLAMOUR

oooh i just noticed the boulets' glove nails. we looooove

nio: best face, absolutely the most glamorous face. the bodysuit is good but i think it needs more rhinestones, or encrusted jewels from the sea, or something.

blackberri: nice but not especially glamorous? idk. i need more. and i haaaaated the necklace. it felt so out of place and like something i could get on aliexpress for 10 bux (and not in the ork "make something that cost next to nothing into art" way).

ork: i don't think it's uhhhh glamorous in the conventional way. i like it but i don't get 'glamour' from it. i think the number one ork critique (he can only do one thing) applies here.

throb: lmao this IS goth rupaul. complete with rose petal reveal. weird chest piece too. but unarguably glamorous. face was so good. also, they had the best performance. you can tell they were a burlesque performer. also, their gags finally worked :3 yaaaaay!

the music reminds me of the birthday massacre. nostalgic, to me.

winner: tie between nio and throb. this glamour section was probably the weakest of the three sections.

alright. all the sections are over.

based solely on the floor show i stand by my original assessment that it's nio's show to lose. throb (not memorable but quite good at what they do) and ork (one-trick pony, but that pony can fuckin PERFORM) tied for second. blackberri should not have made it this far. i do not think there should have been a top 4.

judging panel boulets again steal the show. i adore the wigs with the spiky sparkly gelled (?) points, and the luxurious big fluffy (feathery?) collars.

why tf are they hyping blackberri so much? what kind of dirt does she have on them? did something get lost in translation? is it something you have to see in real life and you're missing something otherwise?

aw at the boulets being nice to nio.

love the final lewks. my favorite is ork's because it's a callback to the dbz-looking thing he had for the blacklight challenge. nio's underwhelms me but it's a smart choice for if you're dunked in blood. the makeup is killer. throb's is ehhhh. blackberry's is quite glamorous and put together but insufficiently goth/weird for me. i do like the face pearls though!

YAAAAAAAAAY I WAS RIGHT NIO WON. and ork clapping his flippers in delight again :3

anyway. good season i guess. i hope jarvis is in a mental space where he's good to compete again for titans. and i hope there's nothing terrible that happened between nio and ork.

[lizardinkart]

Lizard Reads Ward

Arc 1: Daybreak

Lizard’s Cry Counter: 2

TL;DR: A Victoria-focused arc that dragged a bit in places but ultimately felt like everything we needed to know about her (and more). I wished it’d started closer to the fight but having the fight, the trauma, and the family drama laid out felt like the groundwork that was missing from the prologue, especially with the shifted role of Amy. Wish that we had a little more about the other characters introduced in the prologue tho. 8/10 Aight! Let’s get wormin’!

So in my brain I’ve split the arc in to 3 parts, pre-fight, fight, and post-fight, so I’ll talk about the arc in terms of those mini-arcs. Mini-Arc 1: Pre-Fight (Victoria, not Glory Girl)

Ok the fact that the city is Gold colored is hilarious to me. This is Children’s Hospital Red™ levels of awful design choices, somebody really just said color theory in context is fake. I also appreciate the later indications that most of The City is in fact shittily built but hey shitty shelter is better than no shelter I guess (also relatable as someone looking at apartments). Other worldbuilding things I was thinking about since Wildbow really wants us to see the cool world he built (but it’s not really about the world tbh)- the technology of post-GM is so weird. Like you have dial-up internet but it also works perfectly fine and technology works when you need it to. Like I’m sorry but Reddit-AOL would be so much buggier. But all that being said, it’s really funny to see the irl jump in technology from when WB was writing Worm to when he was writing Ward, because Taylor’s flip phone vs smartphone drama was so real and relatable, and now dial-up internet just works on smartphones...I’m baffled. anywho! Onto Victoria lol. So Victoria is working with the new kiddie PRT- awesome, very cool. I appreciate the focus on her wanting to still feel heroic even if she gets that massive body dysmorphic/dysphoric (yes, both) feeling from actually using her powers. Though I also appreciate the small touches we see when she’s on her way to work with a much better mirror scene than the opening of Worm, her interactions with the one hero during the obelisk incident show that she still gets heroes and feels bad for the shit being thrown their way (idk, it gave me big closeted queer energy, queer-to-queer communication in a queerphobic environment one might say). “Nice response time” really is the dorkiest shit to say tho and I appreciate it. Victoria is a dork.  I also appreciate the setup with her parents, laying the groundwork for what’s to come later. Also that she enjoys working with the disillusioned and directionless kids/teens, cause that really is a thing that is the kind of selfless-selfish pull that I think Victoria is shown to be struggling with (finding the balance in the healing process is difficult!). While I felt like this part really did drag the most in the arc, I think there were some really good parts that make it worth it. And it leads into the first Wildbow fight of the story! Woohoo!  Mini Arc 2: The Fight (The Trauma Hammer)

Oh boy I do love me some Wildbow fights. I felt my little storyboarder brain light up because there were some God-tier moments in here that I wanted to draw sooooo bad. But alas, too many, not enough time. 

Crystalclear is cool as hell and I think he may be one of my faves of the new powers so far, he’s a very Wildbow-concept hero and I do really appreciate the man’s flare for the complex and flashy. Tempera is also cool, and Fume Hood is a snarky bitch and I love her. What a queen. She did not deserve to get shot (maybe a little tho).  

But overall there was some great tension in the ticking clock leading up to the fight, and seeing how shit played out was super fun as always, I was not expecting the 18-wheeler to come out of nowhere but it was a very fun time. I gotta say tho, I know Lord of Loss and Snag are important, but I for the life of me could not keep them straight in my brain since Snag made Victoria feel Loss, but like, that’s LoL’s name lmao. 

And on the topic of loss: oof. I did not call this the Trauma Hammer for nothing lol. This is where things went from meh to great for me in this arc, because since Victoria’s story was so ancillary to Worm, I had 1) forgotten how she triggered, and 2) didn’t really remember too much about the specifics of her story outside of the hospital interlude. But god, just sitting in her shoes through falling in love with Dean, losing him, losing her family, feeling inadequate to the rest of her family, and the ever-present looming threat of Her (that we will get to, don’t worry lol), it was just so helpful in really honing in on Victoria’s entire ish that is rattling around in the background. As someone who does characters like this, esp in TTRPGs, having that context of someone’s thought process really is helpful to have in understanding how you’re supposed to interpret the character, even if you’re already in their head (since characters and people lie to themselves, see: Taylor). But yeah, since Victoria avoids those thoughts anyway, it was clever to give them to us up front. And the fact that it happened while she was being a hero again? Kickass. Loved it. 

Mini Arc 3: Post- Fight (Her)

Oh my god this family is messy. I have essays I could write on Carol Dallon and just the Dallons in general but I think I’ll get the chance to eventually cause this is already too long lol. But oh my GOD I truly was thinking “yeah this is gonna go poorly, maybe some passive-aggressive family stuff, getting overwhelmed, getting pie and then leaving”, but holy SHIT the fact that Carol really just ambushed Victoria with lawyer speak and finessed the entire narrative of what was going on- jesus. Manipulative ass snake, but in such a relatable way. 

Once again, have been in that situation before and the way that Victoria goes from like a 2 to 1000 in 0.2 seconds when all the pieces come together- holy shit if that is not the exact feeling of trauma. I know the “#triggered” discourse is old hat at this point, but man I could feel myself get short of breath and panicky when Vicky got trauma triggered in this chapter (this is the spiritual Cry Point). It was so convincingly written that I wanna hold Wildbow in my hands to make sure he’s good.

But I’m proud of how Victoria handled herself, definitely snaps for that therapy working its magic, but man. The Amy Ambush (an Am(y)bush if you will, yes haha joke away), was so something I did not see coming this early, but I’m glad that it did because holy fuck. Victoria talking about moving on and then her family (mom) “moving on” but in a “forgive with an emphasis on forget” kinda way really does leave Victoria in a place that proves all that feeling of inadequacy right, and it’s crushing. But it provides that big stumbling block for her to overcome esp when she finds her new group. 

And seeing how many times she was forced to confront her worst moments and she still actively avoided Amy... oh baby. As an Amy Enjoyer (less “condoning her actions” more “study her like a bug”) I am highly intrigued in how this is gonna go. This is 7 levels of Fucked Up. 

I screamed with joy when Dr. Yamada showed up, I am in love with her and think she is wonderful, and also a great addition to the central cast of this story (esp in a story about healing from trauma? YES get the therapist in there). Also Crystal is wonderful and a good ally for Victoria, and I appreciate Victoria’s need to scrutinize both public and private Aesthetic (shoutout to me and Crystal vibing as 2 fun ADHD individuals). 

Also a shoutout for Gilpatrick because he’s cool and funky and a good boss. Get u someone like Gilpatrick. 

Bonus: The Interlude!

I would give my left kidney for Moose. I’m kicking Prancer’s ass, and I hope Velvet keeps her truck forever and ever. A better love story than her and Prancer tbfh. Also Nursery is so cool guys, she’s so neat. I love the weird shit being done with powers so far in Ward. 

AND A MARQUIS CAMEO HELLO???? HUSBAND?????? Sorry I really like Marquis lol. 

Final Thoughts

The only things I would criticize this arc for that lowered it a bit in my eyes is that the prologue really didn’t do a fantastic job of prepping us to only focus on Victoria. I wished we had sped things along a bit with getting to the others from PHO, even with little PHO interludes interspersed in to let us know what these guys were up to. Bc like, this really did feel like 3 arcs so I feel like we could have used another interlude or 2, just for spice and to break things up a little. Like a commercial break!

The other thing is Wildbow’s uh... underlying ish breaking through. I know Ward was written in the shadow of Worm for him, but there are some parts of these chapters that just feel very mean-spirited and pointed towards people who enjoyed certain parts of Worm. Mainly stuff that could be construed as “fandom” things, or things that fandom would like, that Wildbow seems to be very overt in saying “hey, fuck you for liking/engaging with this.” I dunno, it may just be me, but that kinda attitude cropping up often enough for me to notice the pissed-off hand of the author was off-putting and distracting from I think the greatest parts of this arc. Because it is a good story, it just feels like the occasional potshots WB takes are more coming from his own bitterness than Victoria’s, and are ultimately detrimental to the story as a whole. Idk, I will try not to bring it up so often, but it’s definitely something that’s running in the back of my head and I hope that it subsides soon-ish. 

But all of that to say, I enjoyed the arc! It was a solid opening that’s got me really excited to read more (which by this point, I have, and I will be writing up my arc 2 thoughts shortly lol), and the Trauma Hammer really hit home in a way that felt earnest and really earned. 

That’s all for now tho! As always, I’m happy to discuss stuff wherever, so let me know what you thought of the arc if you’ve read Ward! 

Until next time: Ward out ✨

[reilleclan-blog]

I'd like to get better at virtual photography but I'm also burnt out and it's been 3 years now. But I have fun taking in game pictures I'm thinking of downloading a mod for pc cyberpunk but I also want to wait b/c the mods are constantly updating it seems so I'm not sure I'll prob do it tho cause ppl take some sick shots with it.

-

I have another thought so I was replaying cyberpunk as I frequently do(or walk around taking pictures and crafting so I can make money to buy more clothing) and I started to think about how sad I was Johnny finally was "released" I was genuinely distraught, and it was bitter sweet. But I started to think (after years of playing the game) I'm happy Johnny is finally "free" from V because for one he never got the chance to "live" once he "died" as soon as he realized he died, he was inserted into a person's head and then possibly takes their body or goes past the black wall. Which is something Johnny never experienced and not many ppl know much about it. I genuinely don't think Johnny is completely "gone" when merging with Alt but I'm just kinda happy for him to finally be free in a sense. And not feel guilty for taking over V's psychi. Pretty clear that V and Johnny become "bffs" or "one" because I don't think u can be as close as sharing the same body and mind. Even if V tries to genuinely hate Johnny, V never TRULY hate Johnny. And this thought came when V said "maybe we can figure out another way so stay a construct" I kinda think that was a bit selfish of V to say. Which is nothing wrong with being selfish when u care about someone considering the circumstances but the fact Johnny would've POSSIBLY done it if it didn't mean making a deal with arasaka is pretty interesting as well. It was pretty selfless of Johnny to even consider it tbh and u know he canonically gives V their body

ALSOOO on Reddit I saw some weird takes about Johnny and ppl were saying he only cares about himself and or V. I definitely feel like that kinda in the beginning of the game but later on Johnny is showing concern for V's comrades the way he says Judy is nice and cool when looking thru her apartment and even getting defensive when said she's comparable to Alt(lol) yeah I feel like he's being an asshole but knowing V , Johnny knows V isn't going to listen to his grumbling(o I remember the Reddit post said why didn't Johnny contact V's friends about taking the body) I mean let's be for real how would Johnny ever explain that honestly yeah it sucks they may never know but shit idk maybe Judy since she was depressed asf but idk I understand why he wouldn't say anything and only say something to rogue. Because rogue is "different" and knows a bunch of shit about a lot of shit and Rogue was Johnny's star crossed lover And again she had connections across night city heavily. So she may know something about that. Idk

Also it looks a bit overwhelming but when I try it I'll hopefully get used to it anyways hope y'all are safe out there and "never stop fighting"

[shinydixon]

stranger things is a show aimed mostly at teenagers so the fandom is comprised of a lot of young people. and i say this because it kinda sucks being 'old' (i'm just turning 30 lol) because sometimes i see posts made by said teens and they get so angry at so much shit that doesn't matter at all. like, i just wanna shake them and tell them that writing essays about why joseph might possibly be a little wild (i'm of the opinion that there's no might, he is wild, dirty and sweet and i love it) is a bad thing or arguing over posts talking about him beig spotted with some random girl, yeah, i just wanna tell them that it doesn't matter. like the new year thing with the bathroom pictures. he looked so handsome and that's mainly what i focused on. the girls are gorgeous too. but my point here is that a bunch of fans went digging around instagram to find out the profile of every girl in the picture and check if they had partners just to know if joseph was dating one of them or not. so how many hours went into that? for what? he has not been pictured with anyone in that photo since then. all that effort playing detective was completely in vain. the vanquinns tend to be older than teenagers, some even older than me, and even though i don't like them at all, i get the same urge to shake them and tell them that they're wasting precious time making burner accounts after burner accounts and trying to convince reddit (of all places! reddit sucks sometimes but you gotta appreciate how they have no time for bullshit) that joseph is dating grace. why waste time like this? we know the truth, reddit knows the truth, why waste your breath? you wanna believe they're a thing? fine, have fun. but why do this? it's pointless. it's so fucking pointless. which is kinda ironic since this ask is doomed to be pointless too. i'm complaining about something that exists in every single fandom and i guess there's no changing that. in the end, i wasted time writing this too but at least i got it out of my chest. and by the way, shiny, i think you're very lovely and what you put up with just so nonnies can be heard is very noble and sweet. nut know that you deserve your rest too, ok? don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

Yeah it's true.

They remind me of me when I was a teenager and stupid 💀💀💀 I got so mad if someone insulted my favorite singers or actors OR VIDEOGAMES!

I don't give too much weight on what they say because they're teenagers, they don't understand yet and in few years they'll be like us, looking back at some of our reactions and cringing so hard 💀

About vqs, the only thing that i can say is that they need to be studied, and that's all💀

Thank you for your words nonnie🥺love you🤍

[capyphoenix]

I just posted the screenshots someone send me. I stand by my assessment. I don't see what is fake or contradicts itself. On the other hand you seem to have very strong opinion about it. If this were about Kelly I'd call you a minion who spreads her agenda. // well there is a Reddit (I think) thread as well and that doesn’t make sense to me as it tells a different story to the one told by this ex. I have been to school with enough weird and mentally suffering people who slid into drugs over the years for the thing this guy posted to be very similar to the things my schoolmates said about people as well. They live in a delusional world. At least it reads to me as that. Might be because I have seen such a behaviour for many years growing up as well (my dad did „light“ drugs over the years and he still lives in a delusional world even years and decades after quitting them and thinks my mum cheated with half the men in our town but she simply got tired of his shit)

I just can’t stand it when idk two people on the internet claim that a person linked to a famous person cheated or make up stupid rumours that have no funding. For example if two strangers on the internet claim that nico rosberg cheated on his wife (source trust me bro) and throw in just a few true facts like a sponsorship he had with a brand and a team he worked with to make it believable, it’s still not a fact that he cheated.

Im definitely not a minion. I’m very far from being a minion. I just hate when random people on the internet make up rumours about other people and everyone starts believing that even when there is NO proof for any of the claims.

Hell I saw the beginnings of the taylonso rumours. That started because someone joked on a gossip page and said that Taylor and alonso are single at the same time and announced their break ups around the same time too. Someone made a joke about two people being single, someone sent it to deux-moi and after that it blew up! There was absolutely no proof that they even know who the other person was. Fandoms just had a little fun saying oh both my favourites are single right now wouldn’t it be fun if…

Rumours like that without any true claims and fabricated lies can destroy peoples lives in a professional setting (if we step away from celebrities for a moment)

Oh and to bring that back to Kelly I’m not saying i would defend her when there are rumours about another pregnancy or another engagement etc. I would never. We know most rumours are actually started by her. She plays into the rumours. She responds according to the rumours going around at the time. Every. Single. Time. And her rumours of cheating and all that have proof. Her abandoning her child has proof.

That’s why I feel strongly about spreading things without any proof on the internet. If that is all to makes me a minion? Or maybe that’s the scientist in me?

Not sure why you included half the things here to make your point. Everyone made a joke of the Taylor Swift Alonso thing. I don't think even the most gullible people believed it. The whole drug story sounds like a lot of projection on your part. I just posted the screenshots. Everyone can make up their own mind about it. I don't think they're fake. And as I said before besides stating she cheated he didn't post anything else. All other things he said sound like a good character

[rewiredthethirdblog]

Comment by BeatricePotsmoker on Reddit

I said this the other day but I think I learned why rich people go.

I grew up crazy poor. When we had food, we got it from food stamps or these big government surplus boxes. Sometimes we didn’t have utilities. I had school shoes and by that, I mean I only wore shoes if I went to school. I had two passions: playing outside and books.

The weird thing about being super poor is that sometimes you own things that make you seem less poor. For example, my parents had a waterbed, a VCR and a cockatiel. I’m sure this sounds crazy if you didn’t grow up in the 80s but all these were seen as nice things normal, successful people had.

I’ve spent so much of my adulthood wondering: if we were so poor why did we have a little bit of nice stuff when we didn’t even have food? It turns out psychologists have done a lot of work on this, too, and the reasons are basically:

- [This article says people will forego nutrition for conspicuous consumption because they feel deprived and need to feel socially included.](http://www.ecineq.org/ecineq_paris19/papers_EcineqPSE/paper_241.pdf)

- [Other articles say poor people buy things with money they should be spending on other things because they are sad. Essentially, you get fatalistic about your chances of ever fitting in socially and not struggling.](https://business.time.com/2010/05/07/study-low-self-esteem-makes-you-more-likely-to-buy-luxury-goods/)

And you know what? It sort of makes sense. I mean, if you’re never going to be anything but struggling and life is always going to be shit, why *not* get a little squirt of dopamine the next time you have a little money and buy a cockatiel at the flea market? It will make you happy to see the bird and if you talk about it to your rich friends, they might see you as an equal. That would feel good.

So, anyway, I grow up. That love of books paid off. I did well, got some scholarships and got myself educated. Even went and got a doctorate and shit. I’m absolutely not rich by any stretch of the imagination but I think it’d be fair to say I’m solidly upper-middle class.

The thing is now that I really don’t want *things*. Collecting shit does not give me the same dopamine squirt it did when I was a kid. Maybe the cyclical pattern I saw my parents get us all in of ‘get something, feel good, feel poor, feel bad (but now with the added stress of having to feed a bird) and continue feeling worse’ broke my brain. That and I saw my parents’ chase for stuff didn’t help them. One killed themselves and the other became a bit of a hoarder.

The only thing that makes me happy now is feeling alive through experiences. It makes sense, I guess. I work *so much* that most of my life feels like drudgery. But man, do I feel good when I’m going out to a good restaurant, climbing something tall, or going on a fun trip. I also like bringing my friends with me to do fun things. If they can’t go, I love sharing pictures with them and talking about the experience again. It makes me feel alive. I’m not doing it to show off, it’s that reminiscing on the good thing makes me feel good again.

Even the Uber-rich cannot escape having a human brain. A human brain that gets sad, bored and scared. I’d anticipate - like my parents with the cockatiels - it gets harder to find the thing that might make you happy so you just keep trying.

But with them, it’s not buying or doing things *everyone else has,* the things that trigger that lizard brain all humans have are the things *no one* else has.

Does it seem gross for them to spend so much on an 8 hour excursion when that same amount of money would change someone’s life? Sure, but should we be disgusted with them for doing that any more than we should be disgusted with poor people for spending the money that could change their lives on dumb, conspicuous consumption shit that will someday make their homes so full of “treasures” they can barely walk around?

Everyone is just looking for something that makes them feel alive for a second.

[sugar-omi]

hi! I keep seeing stuff about mechats (online, ads, etc) but I have no idea what it is and im kinda scared but mostly intrigued??

LOL I GET IT!!! if it helps, its literally like a dating app. although no one is creepy (to an extent. there are some INTERESTING characters)

n no one can really reject you? like, you may not match once. but you may match again? or you can force it by hitting the "crown" icon and force a match with whoever you see is getting a game update or is new. or you can change your likes!

because like i said, its like a dating app. so if you say pick everything but "spicy" you may not match with characters whose storyline, like glenn, is reallyyyy sexual. but if you do pick it, you'll most likely/definitely will match with them!

again, you can always keep swiping right on em, n you'll match eventually so you don't have to be all sneaky abt choosing preferences n blah blah blah. but yeah, that's how the matching system works to my understanding. but don't quote me!!🙅🙅 bc i'd hate to be wrong n get flack 💀

eta, i'm looking at the wiki n apparently there are some you can't match with??? i've never seen that before. but it says something about how the game hasn't uploaded storylines for them yet. so. just in case you run into them, there's that info apparently.

OH AND THERE'S A WIKI!! IF YOU WANNA SEE WHATSUP W THE CHARACTERS

they have counterparts n stuff, so if someone isn't your type.. see if they have a counterpart. most of them do. the storyline is the same though! can even switch em half way through...

IF YOU DO PLAY. I HIGHLYYY RECCOMMEND ZAOS VALCAN. (/lewis hill /dejerius lane)

he's so sweet. so cute. amazing... it starts off very cute, n youre friends for a bit. you meet on a video game n a lot of his pictures n dates are fantasy like, n he's so romantic n he's just a amazing... i need him to get an update QUICKLY. I MISS MY POOKIE <///3

or if you're a freak, i highly rec glenn hobbs (/niles robinson) for all your freaky, and non-committal (eventually committal) needs

OR IF YOU'RE A REALLL FREAK. AND A DOM. I REC ARCHIBALD (/ravi /thiago) i refuse to elaborate. just know... that's where the master/servant cake is. and i fucking love it.

oh n i think at the beginning, when signing up, you can filter out the 18+ storylines?? so you won't get NSFW? it's been a long time, but i'm looking at the wiki n it just reminded me.

but there's a whole bunch of characters!!! you can check the "matches > storyline" part of the wiki, to see whats up, see what troupes there are that you might like.

i've browsed the mechat reddit sub briefly for information on different things, so idk how it is over there. but that's a thing too..

i swear its a fun app, had me kicking my feet n squealing n blushing n shit. its so cute n so fun n so good ok trust me

ANYWAY IM RAMBLING. I FEEL A BIT CRAZY W ALL THIS YAPPING ABT A FICTIONAL DATING APP... BUT.... ANYWAY. IF I GOT U EXCITED ABT IT, YOURE WELCOME. HAVE FUN.

OR IF YOU, OR ANYONE, HAS ANY MORE QUESTIONS.. IM HAPPY TO ANSWER.

[freeuselandonorris]

https://www.tumblr.com/freeuselandonorris/748045381390204928/httpswwwtumblrcomfreeuselandonorris748039869

im glad to help !! also sry this ask seems rly long now that im rereading it… i have spent an embarrassing amount of time playing these games. what farm type did you pick? it just occurred to me i didn’t ask that before but each one is a lil dif so im interested to know if you went w the standard one or picked a dif one.

totally understand that complaint! i’d recommend using a guide or the wiki for a bit of guidance, i always have the wiki up on my phone. you may alr know but it took me a LONG time to realize it so just in case, heres another lil tip! make sure to check the tv daily. it tells you the next day’s weather and the daily fortune every day, but on sundays, “queen of the sauce” teaches you a new recipe, and wednesdays are reruns. mondays and thursdays play “livin’ off the land” and it gives you tips on gameplay, like where to find certain foragables that are in season and things like that.

fishing is… tricky. i used to hate it but after years it’s fairly easy. it’s just about timing! it gets easier as you practice, upgrade your fishing pole and level up your fishing skill. if you get a training rod from willie’s instead of the bamboo rod, the green bar is larger so it’s a bit easier to get the hang of

so sorry you got laid off but at least u got to play cyberpunk!! i didn’t really know it was based off anything other than the tabletop game, that’s a new rabbit hole for me to go down. pretty much had the same experience, i remember watching the 2013 e3 trailer and being obsessed from the getgo, and then it was unplayable on launch and i was super disappointed. they spent a decade on a game and released it like that? i lost interest until last year, i saw someone on reddit say it was worth playing, so i gave it a try and i was fucking obsessed. played it for hours after work every day. everything u said. it’s so beautiful and realistic.

i played as girl v but i plan on going and replaying as boy v eventually!! i played before phantom liberty was released so i need to buy that and give it a try. the voice acting and visuals are what really make the game for me, i love all the characters you get to know. not many games have characters that feel so realistic but i found myself being weirded out by how lifelike they were sometimes. uncanny valley vibes or something. also, i really liked that npcs had sexualities rather than being player-sexual like so many games are, so depending what gender you pick, you get locked out of certain romance options. loved that. can’t wait to explore the romance options with boy v and see what else changes.

johnny is unreasonably hot. one very minor complaint: of all the people i get to fuck in the game, i can’t fuck my engram? unfair tbh. johnny should be telling v what to do while they get themselves off or something idk. ive somehow never thought to look up cyberpunk fic but i know what i’m doing tonight now.

i don’t remember what my skills were exactly, but i think i had focus on body, reflexes, and intelligence. they’ve overhauled the skill trees since i played, so idk how my game compares, but i used a katana and a shit ton of quickhacks and i didn’t have too much trouble! it’s very fun to run around hacking and slashing. i don’t remember the boss fight at the end of play it safe being too difficult. there were a few cyberpsychos that made me quit the game for the night but that boss fight didn’t take too much out of me. i cant wait to hear what ending you get and what you think of phantom liberty when you get to it !!

nooo don’t apologise this is such good advice tysm!! 💕 i’ve been in the mines and got some good stuff (and a sword!!) and the tv tip is SO good omg. i’m def gonna have a look through the wiki and start actually figuring out a bit of a strategy to how i’m playing instead of just clicking random shit lmao.

i picked the standard farm! i’m kinda curious to try one of the others at some point tho, i was gonna do the spooky one but then i figured i should probably start simple lmao

YES to all that, as cringe as the pov sex scenes are at times i do kinda love the way it’s incorporated into the storylines and the way you can play as queer (i had great fun with the sex workers in jig-jig street when i first started playing lol) — i had an interesting moment a couple of days ago where i had an option to kiss someone of the same sex who gently rejected me, it’s pretty nuanced which is cool!

okay i feel slightly less terrified of that fight now lmao, i’m trying to train myself to rely more on stealth and quickhacking rather than just panicked shooting which sounds like it’s prob the way to go here too so fingers crossed!

[junipaca]

jotting my thoughts on pokemon rejuv so far since im just finished battling hazuki.

likes:

hell yeah more utilization of double battle scenarios. those are my jam and butter i have so much fun calculating who's gonna target who and what the fuck should i go for. I'd like to thank my cinccino and weavile. fakeout helping hand combos so well with my tanky or fast sweeper pokemon.

the field options and crest system are cool as hell. its gen rlly creative and i had to get used to it and use my brain, it throws a wrench in usual pokemon play and style. it also lifts some underutilized pokemon! its manageable though. and the boss battles were gen rlly cool! rift pokemon my beloved. rlly hard in the beginning but i learned to cheese it eventually (curse + leech seed + whirlpool + toxic with corrosion)

the difficulty i think is spiked p well, its good enough that you aren't out of options, almost never, but you got to use your head around certain teams and foes. EV training is a MUST, luckily there are EV training centers. i hate IV hunting so i used the password for full 31 IVs all the way . you also need some basis of pokemon competitive i'd say.

speaking of passwords those are gen rlly nice to use, saves some time. i got a remote pc with me and that saves like 50% of the handling when preparing for a boss battle.

the aevian forms are so cool. my fav has been probably chandelure and leavanny so far but i just caught a feebas so who knows. i also have a gastrodon who's so silly i love that design

god the characters are so nice. i love the individuality of each character presented to the player, and you kind of got to twist one part to get to the other and know why the first part was twisted. that being said, if you asked who my favs are its adam ren and talon. silly dudes. but i also know i would EAT this up in my younger years a lot more. but even now i still adore them. found family is dear and nice, especially well done for a large cast jesus fuck

also worldbuilding. i don't want to say more but woah. good job.

i adore [REDACTED] very dearly and i have to apologize every time i see them. i wish i got to know them more. hopefully more appearances later??????

iffy stuff:

i want to like venam and melia's relationship a lot more than i do now. i think its just uncertainty with their previous known age gap before the time skip? eh.

I'm. very confused about Risa's whole schtick. i don't want to say more than now because spoilers and all. but i think too much information got laid on with that arc that my brain exploded there. wish it was just a bit clarified or so . (also is she 18 or 21??????? the internet and the game confuse me. this matters because i have to know whether to sock dylan or not)

some of the sidequest lines are misleading. they say "go to [here]" and when i go there nothing happens. its only when i search up the issue online is when i find out that i have to do Something Else first. just wish it was more clarified or such? if that makes sense? its like someone told you to go to the field or smth but didn't say you had to talk to the lady at the building first.

honestly i think the story confusions i have now are going to wait until The End of this game because rn it isn't fully complete. i will wait as long as needed until everything releases before i can make a full assessment. like. this has so much work put into this game. for FREE. NOTHING OF COST. like holy shit i can wait forever and ever. i have 130+ hours into this game. i can't believe this is nothing of cost. so a positive note here in this category.

comments:

honestly ive seen a ton of critique towards this game, so i was sort of jumping around trying to assess how hard it was going to be and whether or not i would be actually interested. i'm delighted to say i am. key note: don't listen to reddit when they say "too edgy". i know my edgyness. i i also quite enjoy some of it. i think its a matter of taste.

if you try out this game do have. a lil handful of pokemon experience in terms of speed, sweeping, and tanks. i think some basic knowledge there would go a long way. then again i played normal mode, there is an easier mode if i remember. either way, get ready to strategize.

also rec me more games im almost caught up w everything pretty please i need something to occupy my brain.

[vodka-redbull-daily]

November 22nd, 2023 (Part 1)

*Graphic Sexual Content*

It's been quite a while since I've received a dick pic. It feels kind of weird complaining about that. I don't think I'm even complaining, but most people would be so happy to stop Having to look at random people's dicks. It was  kind of fun collecting them if I'm honest. it was fun showing them to D---- and laughing at them together. I'm not sure why that is. maybe I just finally got into the group of people that don't send dick pics very often and have weeded through all the ones that like to do that. although, I've also found so many people who like to flake. I'll make plans with a guy, then he either goes to me completely or keeps canceling over and over again. B--- has seemed like the best prospect, after F----. when F---- turned out to be kind of an asshole, B--- seems like he would be a good alternative. sure, he was incredibly boring  and I had a sneaking suspicion sex would be ass, but he was so far most likely to be the most consistent person.  but he ended up flaking on me two separate times before he finally just said that he wasn't going to try anymore. to be fair, those were his exact words,  but I did try and make it work and he just straight up stopped answering my texts. oh well.

 after having so many flakes, it's incredibly annoying and making it to where I kind of want to start looking at other sites. I've been getting semi good luck from this one site, but I'm running out of men in general, much less men that are actually going to meet me and pay me. W--- was an anomaly. I normally would not continuously go out with a person who's not paying me, but I really enjoyed him that first day and I even plan on seeing him later in the week. I know I'm going to have a good time and we'll probably end up having sex with him and I don't mind that. I obviously want to do that otherwise I wouldn't want to go. but it's incredibly annoying that I haven't gotten paid in quite a while.  I really hope this isn't the death knell of my time as a sugar baby.   I'll probably start signing up for some other sites soon enough. I found a Reddit thread about the sugar baby lifestyle, although it seems like I already have an account on the most popular site and everyone on there is kind of saying that it's shit.  they're honestly isn't that much helpful information on there.

Today, I have plans to meet two different guys. I'm going to meet up with B------ around noon. I'm so excited to be able to meet up with him again. it's been quite a while since we fucked in the car and he keeps promising me that it'll be so much more enjoyable since he's going to actually get a hotel room. since it's so close to Thanksgiving, though, I told him that I'd be okay with only taking 100 this time instead of the usual 200 since most hotel rooms are extra expensive right now. yeah, this is a bad business move, especially since I keep complaining about how I haven't made that much money recently. but I'm also incredibly horny. and I enjoy B------ a lot. sue me. sometimes I just want to get dicked down by someone who actually knows what they're doing and isn't 103 years old.

We planed to meet at 12:30.  he sent me the address to the hotel room and then also sent me some instructions to follow. apparently this is part of being a submissive. or it can be. I guess it's kind of like a role-playing thing, where the dominant will give you a set of instructions and you're supposed to do them. he had a special name for it but I forgot what it was. I'm sure I'll hear it again before too long. his instructions were to come to the room, take off all my clothes, and wait. pretty simple instructions. I also decided to go without any underwear or bra. F---- had asked me to do that and honestly I enjoy that more anyway. I fucking hate wearing underwear  and a bra. sexy for the guy, comfy for me. win win.  one last rule he had was that every time I came, I would have to lick it off of him. again, this is actually something I like so it wasn't that big a deal for me.

 I  got to the hotel, but he forgot to send me the room number so I waited for a while outside before he finally did. once he did that, I went over to the room and he opened the door for me, since hotel rooms lock automatically.  I walked in, took off all my clothes and everything like he said, and waited. again, this wasn't  a very difficult set of instructions. he had some music playing through a little speaker and was very quick to start touching me all over. his skin was just as soft as I remembered. his fingers were just as good as I remembered. it seemed that no matter how he touched me, I would get chills and goosebumps. it's so strange. two different people can touch me in the exact same way and my body will have such an immensely different reaction. I remembered when I was having sex with him, how he would Trace his fingers  down my stomach, thigh, and underwear line. my entire  body would shake with pleasure even though he wasn't actually even doing anything that sexual. it feels almost the same with B------. he could touch me on my back, on my arms,  run his fingers through my hair  I would already be on the edge of an orgasm. meanwhile, somebody else could do something similar and I would lay there like a dead fish. I want to get turned on, I'm probably already wet, but it's just not the same.

 he also had me  put on a blindfold which is very excited for. he had been telling me a little bit about sensory play, about putting on things like a blindfold and headphones so that your sense of touch was heightened. I was really looking forward to that. after I  had the blindfold on, he led me to a little couch looking thing and had me kneel there while leaning against the arm. I wasn't uncomfortable, I could have stayed there for as long as he wanted me to. he continued to touch me, occasionally dipping his fingers up inside me. He commented on how wet I was.  then he explained to me the game we were going to play. 

This was going to be my first Step into getting into more BDSM things. it seems pretty much everybody is into impact play and that's honestly the first thing most people think of when I think of BDSM shit. he told me he had brought a bunch of different items, he was going to use them on me, and I was supposed to remember which one was which. he told me about this game before, how he had used it on other people. every time he would use one on me, he would ask me then to rate the Pain on a scale from 1 to 10 and then immediately after that asked me to write it on how much I enjoyed it from 1 to 10.  there are quite a bit of them. I knew there were a bunch of different things they're used for this kind of stuff, I just didn't realize he had brought so many and then he was going to use so many of them on me.  it was quite a bit of time that we spent actually doing this.  he would tell me the name of it, then let me feel it with my hands, then you sit on me. he had me repeat what it was afterwards,  then I would give him my numbers. I think I can remember them all off the top of my head:

Flogger: A leather flogger.  pretty simple, if you know what a flogger is you know what this is.  I can't remember exactly what I judged each of these on each scale, but I do remember that this is one of my favorites. not that painful and I actually quite enjoyable.

 long flogger: very similar to the first, but longer. obviously. this one hurt a little bit more  but still definitely one of my favorites. again, I actually enjoyed it and was it in terrible pain.

 stinging fogger: this one had little thin strands and was much more painful than the other two floggers. I didn't like it that much, but they're definitely worse things on this list.

 thuddy flogger: heavy and thick leather straps on this one. surprisingly, it actually didn't hurt very bad at all. it was definitely one of my favorites since the Pain Scale is very low and with all the floggers he was able to  run them across my skin at a certain way that  was very pleasurable.

 dragon's tongue: this one was the first one he used. I was basically thick sheet of plastic that was cut down the middle. very much like a tongue of a serpent like it was named after. it reminded me a lot of those plastic clapping hands that you get from a shitty arcade. it definitely wasn't the worst, but it was not my favorite.  low to mid-range on the pay scale and made to high range on the pleasure scale.

 hemp cane: this was what seemed to be hemp  just tied in a fancy way to make it kind of like a stick or rod. it was stiff enough to be painful, but because it was made out of a kind of rope, it wasn't as painful as I was expecting.  I actually enjoyed the soft scratchy feeling of it. Another mid-range one on the Pain Scale and the pleasure scale.

 short paddle: a pretty thick wooden paddle with holes drilled into it. once I felt the holes with my hand, I was nervous. I knew that that would help with the speed and pain. although, it did finally enough remind me of Swiss cheese. it was pretty painful and I didn't enjoy it very much at all. although, still not the worst.

 long paddle: as the name suggests, it's exactly the same as the prior one just longer. this one was more painful and I  disliked it even more because of that.

 Tiny: B------ told me this was the first BDSM Type Toy he had ever gotten. and it wasn't even actually a toy. it was a wood especially he bought from Target and had filed down to make it a toy. I have heard about trying to make your own toys being pretty unsafe and this was actually very painful. I really didn't like it that much at all. still not the worst, but very near the bottom.

 the rod: this one was the worst. he did warn me that it was going to be incredibly painful and didn't use it very hard or very much. in fact, he relegated only three strikes with both of these last two ones because he knew that they were more painful than the other ones. he also said that he actually didn't use these during play, more for a “punishment” type situation.  it was just a long, metal rod.  I obviously hated it.

 the stick: surprisingly, this one wasn't that bad. this was another one that was supposed to be used in a “punishment” type situation,  but since it was pretty much just a yardstick that was a little bit thicker, it wasn't that bad. me and my siblings just a whack each other with yardsticks fairly often, so maybe I'm just used to the feeling already. but honestly, I would prefer that over some of the paddles that he had used earlier.

 after we  had gone through each one individually,  he went back and picked five at random. he said that if I got all five right, I would get reward. if I got less than three right, I would get a punishment. little did he know, that I am way too competitive for my own good. whenever there's a game involved, whether it be the religious crap that I had to do when I was younger or the BDSM shit, I tend to take any challenge probably way too seriously.  there's a reason they stopped letting me play games  with the other kids who didn't go to church as often as I did in religious education.  he also gave me three chances to guess each toy, which led to me getting every single one correct. a few of them I even got right on the first try.

 my reward?  he ate me out. I was pretty surprised by this, though I shouldn't have been since he did say that giving pleasure to his Partners is actually one of his favorite things. he and I are very similar in that way.  this makes B------ the third person I've ever slept with that actually gave me head. maybe I should  add that to my statistics.  unfortunately for B------, I've actually received much better head.

it wasn't bad. it was actually very good and I might have cum in his mouth if he had gone a little bit longer.  he definitely was more into licking my ass, which he had told me he was in the ass eating before, than he really was focused on my pussy and clit.  T----- was also in eating ass,  but he usually did the two separately. He was definitely the best person I've ever had. I don't know how he knew, but he would always put his tounge exactly where I wanted.  the perfect mix of speeding, up slowing down,  more direct focus on the clit, using his fingers inside me to make me absolutely scream with pleasure.  B------ was good, but I don't know if he'll ever stand a chance against him. not to mention he did it every time we had sex.  it seemed like it was one of his favorite things to do. I remember once when I was on my period and we were just getting to the point where he would fuck me and he leaned down and whispered in my ear about how badly he wanted to eat me out. how sad he was that  I was on my period. I'm hot just now thinking about it.

I miss him so badly.

 it wasn't a bad reward. it wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but pretty soon after that, he was actually putting his dick inside me. There was a little bit of pain as he stretched me out.  I guess I still wasn't used to him. he's definitely the biggest I've ever been with.  he will probably always be the biggest  I will have ever been with.  it took me a little bit, but eventually he was able to fuck me without any pain. I'm pretty sure he went all the way inside me this time. it only took us three times before he was able to actually bury that big ass cock deep inside me.  he felt so good inside me, but  he wouldn't let me cum.  I would wine and beg and plead and squirm and moan so loud with pleasure, but the Orgasm denial  that he showed me that first day was back. I loved it. when he finally let me cum, it was such a wave of relief.  after that, he took me off the bed and had me  lick up my cum off his dick.  I guess that checks off the mandatory dick sucking that's required and every single sexual encounter I have, but it wasn't bothered by it because I actually like the taste of my own cum.  it was the only time we ended up doing that even though it was one of his rules. I asked him about it afterward, why he had stopped enforcing that role, and he said that I just came so much all the time and he really didn't want to have to stop and start over and over again.

 pretty soon, he had me on all fours. again, his dick was shoved inside me and this angle is one of my favorites. doggy style seems to always just hit that right spot for me, and B-------'s dick always pushes me to my limit. I had to beg for my orgasm again. the way his hands would grab my waist and he would use my whole body as a fleshlight,  just pounding himself inside me. it's like heaven. he did eventually let me have another orgasm. then, he told me to stay exactly in place and I felt him get off the bed. I heard him moving things around. more toys.

 when he came back, he squirted Lube all over my ass, even getting some of it dripping to my legs. not that big deal as my own cum was already dripping down my legs. his finger gently dipped inside my asshole. we had talked about how I wasn't ready to do anal with his actual cock yet. he was just way too big and even though I had done anal with F----, F---- had not been that big. plus, we had talked about how  much I enjoyed the double penetration T---- had done to me so long ago. sure enough, after he had sufficiently lubedme up, I felt a vibrating toy being pushed inside. it felt kind of like anal beads. I definitely was enjoying myself. soon, he also pushed dick  back into my pussy. such a strange sensation, getting  so much pleasure from  the two different places at the same time. it was hard to focus on one, hard to feel exactly where all my pleasure was coming from. I had to beg for my orgasm a few more times. 

After a little bit, he took the toy out of my ass and began lubing it up again.  in between each time he did this, He would instruct me to stay exactly where I was. I would be there on the bed, ass open in the air, just waiting for him to stick something else in. and he always did. a new toy soon entered me, this time pretty clearly a butt plug. we went back to him fucking me with that inside me. we went round and round with me begging to cum, him denying me until it was almost too much, then letting me go. he also kept changing out the plug, getting bigger and bigger each time. he ended up using four different ones, and on the last one I was definitely beginning to feel stretched. it was almost painful, almost to the point where I asked him to stop. I stretched and stretched and  gripped the sheets.   right at the last second, right before  I called it off, my ass took the whole thing. I was definitely stretched, and there was a twinge of pain, but it definitely was not unbearable and  I got enough pleasure from it that I was able to ignore the pain. from here, he fucked me until he came inside me also allowing me another orgasm of my own. I came seven times. he usually makes me count, so I kept counting just in case.

After that,  I took the blindfold off and he gave me a towel to clean myself up with. not very many men do that. I kind of forgot he did that. it's such a weird mix being with all these guys and even the ones that you feel like do kind of care about your experience don't do that kind of stuff. after we cleaned ourselves up,  he had me go ahead and look at all the toys he had used. we started with the anal stuff, because he wanted to show off how good I had done. I was incredibly surprised to see the toys I had  you just had inside me laying out there on the towel. the biggest one, the one that I had a little bit of trouble with, was so much bigger than I had imagined. in thickness, it was pretty comparable to B------. all of them are also much longer than I expected. he also showed me what I thought to be anal beads, but it was pretty much just a vibrator with a bunch of little orbs on it. the thing was close to 7 in long, and he told me I took all of it. he was really excited, since this meant that I could probably eventually take him.  it really wouldn't take that much longer or that much more stretching before I Would be able to fit his entire dick in my ass.

 he also had me look at all the toys  he had me rank. most of them, looked exactly how I imagined them based on how they felt in my hands. he had me sort them from the one I like the most so the one I like the least out on the bed. we talked about them a little bit, he explained to me the story of tiny, he told me about other toys he wanted to use, toys he wanted to buy, all kinds of stuff. he washed off all the anal toys for me, gave me instructions on how to take care of them, and told me that I could take them home. his only rule was anytime I use them I had to talk to him about it. and I want to use them, but that means I have to go out and buy Lube at some point. he also told me he had gotten me more but they just had to come in on time. he said there's suction cup on the bottom. very intriguing.

 after talking about the toys and him showing me some of the girls he had been with before and talking about that  plus some of the gangbang groups he was in, he asked me when I had to leave  and how many times I had cum.  I told him 7 and I really didn't have a time I need to leave, since the only plans I had for the day was going to my meet and greet with S-- but that wasn't until 7:00 and it was only two at that point. he thought about  it for a second,  and said he thought he could squeeze in at least four more orgasms.

 I laid back down on the bed, he finished cleaning the last of the toys and got them all packaged up, then we were at it again. this time, every time I asked he let me cum. I was mostly on my back, but he also turned me on my side, twisting my torso my legs separately I'm pushing himself deep inside me that way. I never been in that position before and I enjoyed it very much. since he wasn't denying me any orgasm this time, I came over and over and over again. like I usually do with others. in all honesty, this time was even better than when I was blindfolded. I think since he was actually less focused on the performance side of it and more on just a good plain old fucking, he was a little bit more rough, more straight to the point then the fancy start And stop and specialize movement to try and get somebody on the edge without pushing them over. instead, we just had a good old fashioned fuck. I ended up cuming 12 times in the span of about 10 to 15 minutes. and he also came again, saying that was the quickest he's ever cum twice in a row. I've heard that a few times. even W---- said something about how he had a hard time actually cuming due to the mix of medication he was on and was very pleased when he was able to cum inside me.

 we talked for a little bit longer, he gave me the money, gave me the anal toys, then I left. he stayed behind a little bit longer to clean up a little bit and who knows, maybe he invited another girl over. I have no clue. we talked a little bit about his past conquests and he said he's been with at least 120 people off this one site alone. for all I know, he invited a girl immediately after me. I wouldn't be bothered by it. it's not like I'm not doing the exact same thing later on tonight.

[emma-radfemcanu]

Time for my final 'I am sad because of tennis' post of the year x (putting this below the 'read more' because it's a bit of an essay and nobody else cares lol, I just want to get this off my chest)

This week is the tour finals in Turin, where the top 8 players of the year compete against each other. I was a bit worried that Stef wouldn't make it there, he's had a rough year, but he did. But then he ended two practices early and just didn't look right, it's something to do with his back- I hope nothing serious, he's suffered enough

You play 3 matches in the round robin, he lost to Jannik Sinner on Sunday (who I loathe, not him personally but his fans are just insufferable) and was playing Holger Rune today. He retired 3 games in, it was clear he was struggling, and god I know people don't like him but an entire arena booing someone who was very obviously in pain :(

The online comments were worse (yes I know I need to stop looking lol). So many people going on about how selfish Stef was for playing knowing he was hurt, because it's unfair to the audience who paid to watch a good match? Also unfair to Hubi who was the alternate player, apparently Stef should not played and given Hubi that chance- sorry but Stef earned that spot, he isn't obliged to make decisions based on what would be nice for other people

Before the Sunday match there were a few Sinner fans (including this one awful woman on reddit who is so annoying that she is honestly the main reason I don't like him) who were accusing Stef of faking it, either as an excuse for his inevitable losses or to get in Jannik's head- funnily enough they have piped down now 🙄 Stef very rarely withdraws, he'd hardly be the first to try and push through on adrenaline and painkillers, but as usual he is getting far more shit than anyone else

We all have our likes and dislikes, there are several players I have an irrational hatred for, and there are definitely valid reasons to dislike Stef. But most of the criticism he gets is just because people find him weird and annoying, there are far worse people (Zverev, Kyrgios etc) who don't get anywhere near the amount of personal insults that Stef does. IDK, picking on someone who is likely autistic (this isn't an armchair diagnosis, Stef's dad basically admitted it) for being weird and awkward leaves a very bad taste in my mouth

Even the other players were making fun of him earlier in the week :( Alcaraz was asked in their press conference who the funniest person was, before he could answer Rublev jumped in and said 'Stefanos' in a clearly mocking way- in itself it isn't that deep, but making someone who isn't even there (and quite frankly gets enough shit already) the butt of a joke, especially when said joke was intended to make two people who really don't like him (Medvedev and Zverev) laugh... it just felt very mean spirited

Usually I am in the camp that if that many people don't like you there's probably a reason. But like I say, I get why people don't like Stef, but it's never 'I don't like his opinion on XYZ' or any other valid criticism, it's 'lol what a weirdo' (or 'autistic freak' as I saw today). There are plenty of people who genuinely hate him but I think most of the time it's more that he's just an easy target. He is weird and awkward and shy but those are some of the reasons why I like him so much

It's been a rough year for my boys- Felix at least perked up towards the end of the season, lord knows about Shapo and Matteo :( I just hope 2024 is a bit kinder to them all