#someone not including me for food makes me feel crushed and hollow and unvalued

[riverofrainbows]

Something i realised is a hard boundary for me for any future partner is that they must never make me feel left out about food. I have a lot of food intolerances, however they are accommodateable, and i expect my partner to do that. Always, no exceptions. And I don't mean they can't try a new restaurant that only serves food i can't eat, as long as this isn't the only type of 'let's try a new food' they suggest. But if the theme is 'let's invite friends and have cake' and they don't get one i can eat too, or something as a replacement that has the same value (and not sad prepackaged cookies), then i will not play nice to that. I might even just fucking leave, because i will not put a brave face on and be all "No, its fine, how is the cake? I hope you enjoy it".

And i also won't bring my own food to an event someone else organises, especially not my partner's. I used to go to an event where they had, until then, always accommodated me (and others), and then suddenly they stopped and said that it was too much money and effort, and i could write an email before what food they will have and bring a replacement myself. Like no fuck that, i will not pretend they accommodated me through my own effort, if anything i will bring a wildly different food and tell anyone who asks what i have that they were unable to provide accomodation. And yes I do bring my own food to something like going on vacation because I'd rather not starve, but a hotel is neither my friend nor my partner nor an event that prides themselves on inclusivity.

For the longest time i accepted this stuff, but since then i made friends that saw it as a given to accomodate me, and i have raised my standards.