#someone in capcom decided that the baby of the family has got to be a true BABEY

[caitlynmeow]

look at this pure baby girl

[pan0ramy]

re8 thought dump because YE

i feel like this was almost inevitable but idk where else to talk about resident evil village so i’m just going to rant about it here!!! i have,,,, a lot of thoughts on this game after being so excited for it for so long

obviously, massive spoilers if you haven’t finished the game. i feel like i have thoughts on pretty much everything so please please please stay clear of this post if you’re trying to stay blind

otherwise, let me just rant about this game for a bit - mainly the story and characters - because i have Thoughts™

(also i feel like it goes without saying but this will be probably be quite long, so. strap in, ig)

okay SO. the whole intro was pretty interesting - even though we’d seen bits of it in trailers, it was still pretty unnerving and felt like it came out of nowhere. but the first thing that really stood out was the first village section with the hordes of lycans; i didn’t expect this game to start freaking me out so quickly but JESUS my blood pressure went up fast. 

there’s so many of them coming at you at once, and not only have you just lost half your damn hand, you’re not really used to the gunplay at that point AND you don’t have that many weapons at your disposal. so it’s basically just “hey we’re throwing you into this ring of death, good luck surviving!” which... now that i think about it, that really sums up the whole game lol

but for the most part, the early parts of the game are what we saw in the demos, so there’s nothing too new - it was nice getting to see the scene with all four lords and mother miranda, though. i wasn’t sure how the whole chase scene with the lycans would work - i thought heisenberg’s area was going to be some sort of mine, and that the chase would take place there - but it didn’t, and it was interesting regardless of it being so short. 

but the castle. THE CASTLE. 

i would be lying through my teeth if i said i wasn’t excited for dimitrescu like everybody else; i’m firmly in the camp of people who both meme about how attractive she is, and then also the people who legitimately find her attractive, soooo i kinda had high expectations going in? 

and sure, the castle section is only part of the game, but if there’s anything that makes me nervous most, it’s stalker enemies. resi 2 remake was actually pretty tough for me to get through because of how anxiety-inducing mr x was, and even though i don’t feel like she was as present as mr x was, lady d was still great! there were a good few times where you could hear her walking around and you just knew she was searching for you, which was really damn cool.

also, i know capcom had a lot of hype to live up to with lady dimitrescu, but goddamn they did such a great job with her. she’s so imposing but badass and just... really damn cool? like i honestly found myself being excited for her to show up rather than being scared. i just think she’s neat! I MEAN LOOK AT HER.

(also yes i know the whole internet has talked about how attractive she is, but can we just. appreciate that for a second???? she’s gorgeous and yall can’t tell me otherwise. like. bro ik the pronunciation is wrong but the way she says dimitrescu made me GASP i love this powerful vampire woman)

if anything, though, i... actually felt really bad that her story ended up the way it did. i mean, think about it: you break into her house, kill the three people she’s grown to consider her daughters, rob her shit, and then kill her? she technically goes through the same kind of parental grief that ethan does, in a way, which is a really interesting parallel. grief seems to be a theme that capcom really pushed for this game, and it works. 

also, her boss fight design is badass. she’s literally a dragon, how is that not incredible

so the castle was great, where could the game go from here? oh, i don’t know, how about gOOD OLD FASIONED FUCKING TRAUMA.

jesus christ the dollhouse GOT TO ME.

i’m pretty used to horror in general; i love horror games, movies, books, you name it. i’ve gone to horror movies where people have ran out because of fear all while i’ve sat there giggling the whole time. but the dollhouse? that dollhouse is FUCKED. i can’t remember the last time i watched someone play through a horror game and was so... on edge the whole time. the fact that they keep you waiting for so long with nothing happening just... makes the atmosphere incredibly uncomfortable, and then when shit does start going down, it goes down fast. in other words, jesus fucking christ that baby will haunt my nightmares until the end of time

basically capcom managed to make the n*zi baby joke from south park: the stick of truth legitimately terrifying, and i was glad to see donna die. moving on.

moreau’s section is the one i... actually don’t have as many thoughts on. it’s cool, sure, and the whole idea of him turning into a fish when he hits water is neat - it’s definitely a good callback to re4 - but idk, it didn’t really scare me that much. i can see it scaring those with a fear of water or the ocean, for sure, but eh. i thought the designs were cool, but i kinda tuned out a little here.

heisenberg, though, was anything but. the entire time leading up to village’s release, this guy has fascinated me for some reason. i don’t know if it’s because he’s the most normal-looking of the four lords, or the fact that he has telekinesis, or his amazing voice acting (seriously i know some people have shit on his VA but oh my god i adore it) or what, but this guy stood out to me from day one. i even went into the game expecting him not to die tbh. but no, he does, and his fight is pretty damn cool all things considered. only in a resident evil game could you have a mech fight and have it not feel out of place lol

also this line ^^^ legitimately made me laugh so hard i almost choked on my water. THE FACT HE TURNS AROUND AND APOLOGISES SO MEEKLY its fucking hilarious to me

but anyway.

similar to alcina, though, i was left with one big question about heisenberg - what did mother miranda do to him to get him to join her impromptu familly? he said himself to ethan that he didn’t want to join, so what did miranda do that didn’t give him a choice? did he have a family at some point? is he grieving too? what did miranda take from him? i can only hope this gets answered in the dlc, because it’s by far one of my biggest questions surrounding all of this. i may very well have missed it somewhere, and at least we know he has his telekinesis abilities thanks to miranda, but it’s a question that’ll definitely be on my mind going forward.

at this point, though, the story REALLY gets insane. it’s really nice how village decided to just continue on straight from what 7 did, and i’m very glad that everyone’s theories about chris being a werewolf were wrong - it’s a really nice spanner to throw in the works. if anything, the whole revelation of mother miranda disguising herself as mia the whole time since rose’s birth was really cool, and ethan being Mold™ the entire time was pretty neat too - it made a lot of things both in 7 and village make more sense.

what i’m still digesting, though, is the ending.

...man, capcom, you put poor ethan through all of that and then you have the balls to actually kill him? i mean shit, you made us think he was dead for a whole 20 minutes but then nope! he’s alive! but then nope! he’s dead again! i did see someone point out that at least ethan got to go out on his own terms, but dammit i would’ve at least liked for him to get to see mia one last time. i think it would’ve softened the blow a little more. but i guess that ties into the whole grief theming this game has going for it, and like i said, i probably just need some more time to digest it. 

i don’t dislike the ending, it’s just a very big culture shock - it’s definitely a ballsy move, and i really respect capcom for going all out the way they did. they really held back on nothing in terms of this game’s story and i absolutely love it. it was so, so worth the wait in that regard. 

and tbh that’s kinda how i feel about the whole game in general; it was super super good, very much worth the wait, and i absolutely cannot wait to see where resident evil goes from here. i have a gut feeling this’ll end up being one of my absolute favourites in the series, which i know is very high praise, but i really do love it that much. i wasn’t disappointed with much in this game, if anything at all. it’s just a super fucking good video game man idk what else to say at this point

[agentangeles]

Let’s talk about TYAC.

Usually, this blog updates infrequently, and it’s whatever project I’ve got in-progress. The prompt challenge is on temporary hiatus right now, but each individual prompt has been its own contained fic.

I want to take this time to... I dunno, explain this fic? I owe this to nobody, but I still feel that it’s important, because throughout the past year and change, TYAC has been something of a constant for me. 

TL;DR for under the read more: no, TYAC isn’t taking over priority for Hallmark Cliches, nor will it be taking priority any time soon.

If you follow my main blog, @implodingcacti​, then you might be familiar with this acronym. I’ve tagged posts on my main blog with #still dont have a tyac tag for a while now- yes, I know the tag is goofy, but I never bothered to change it, and it became a running gag. There’s a bit of assorted chatter from last year when progress was really kicking off, and then life hit me during NaNoWriMo and I put it on hiatus.

This fic is, quite literally, the culmination of me deciding that Klavier deserves better than how he’s treated. Capcom has shoved him into the role of a petty cameo, and that’s a damn shame.  This fic is me giving him the care and consideration that he honestly deserves. Klavier has so much potential in-canon, and yet he’s let down by a lack of bonds. We know he has a brother, we know that Daryan is his friend, and that’s... it. We know nothing about extended family, or what his time was like at Themis, or the other 3 Gavinners and their individual dynamics. Hell, we don’t even know what happened to Vongole, Kristoph’s dog. Where is she, Capcom? Where did you put our baby?

I’m not gonna pretend that this isn’t an ambitious project. I’m not going to pretend that this fic is going to shatter people’s worlds, too- don’t get me wrong, I’d love to, but I don’t want to disappoint myself. Honestly, I’m not expecting much of anything beyond making him feel as fleshed out as he deserved. I latched onto him after Serenade, getting to see all of those miniature glimpses into his band and recognizing similarities between my own performing experiences, and damn it if I’m not soft on the man. That case really was what sold me on loving him, after all.

That being said- TYAC is still completely unfinished. At the time of writing, my in-doc wordcount is sitting a bit over 100k (103,047 to be exact, in case anyone is curious). This includes scene notes for things I haven’t written, script for in-game cases (because fuck it, I decided I wanted to have the cases in the damn fic), and the fic itself. TYAC is not finished, nor is it close to being done. 

If ever I am running a fic that isn’t TYAC, that fic is taking priority. Eventually, I’d love to have TYAC be finished, and I’d love to share it with people. I’m also very aware of my own abilities, and even if I dedicated all of my time to working on it, I’d get quickly burnt out.

I’ve had a lot of estimates about where the fic’ll end up wordcount-wise. Each one has been wrong. I’m setting a rough estimate around 200k, and hoping maybe I land under that. I have no idea if I will. 

Another thing I wanted to mention is that I’ve talked about the fic being in sections. Section 1 is its own chapter, and is the shortest so far out of everything. I’m gonna go over the sections upcoming, their names in the doc, and kind of give y’all a rough estimate of what to expect.

Section 2: SEVEN YEAR OVERVIEW; NOW WITH TOURING DRAMA

Takes place where 1 left off, here’s our Gramarye trial and the 7 year gap. Did you like the other Gavinners? There’s a lot of them here. It’s the “developing the Gavinners” section. 

Section 3: IN PRESENT TIMES. DISBANDING.

Spans the in-between space of Turnabout Trump and Turnabout Corner to right before the events of DD. We have 3 cases here- Corner, Serenade, and Succession. If you haven’t played AJ, you can essentially read a good chunk of it. The characterization leaks out a bit as well. I know I’m developing Klavier, but there’s someone else who I think would be fun to include...

Section 4: RECONNECTIONS. GOODBYES. A SOLO CAREER THAT KEEPS PAUSING. REPEAT AS NEEDED.

Two games in one- we’re spanning DD through SOJ with this one! One case in detail, though- it’s Turnabout Academy, but this time with less bleh. There’s mentions of other cases, and a bit of overlap, so it isn’t like you’re completely missing out, but there’s a bit more going on with Klavier. Lots of emotional shit. Boy’s gotta react to shit, after all. Capcom, you cannot hide your grieving and comforting from me. Miss me with that shit.

Section 5: TWO YEAR OVERVIEW, NOW WITH TOURING DRAMA, ROUND TWO; ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. (30% more pining edition)

Post-SOJ, baby! Two years of a free and open playground where I am free from the confines of canon and will handle the boy how I see fit. There’s emotional healing in this chapter. Funky friendships. My official promise to the “Do They Know Yet” blog being once-again upheld. I’m tying up loose ends in as many neat bows as I can.

That’s as much as I can touch on without it being spoilers. At any point, please feel free to ask questions about this fic. I am constantly vibrating about this project.  Thanks for sticking with me through it all. Hopefully I’ll have new stuff out on it soon!

-Angeles (they/he)

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

NOTES: Fae AU Chapter 13

So while a lot of my decisions about characters in the Fae AU are drawn from canonical things, in this case, here in Chapter 13, there’s obviously a lot going on that might be coming out of nowhere, because it’s built on my headcanons. It makes sense to me, obviously, how I’m drawing the parallel from game canon to my AU, but, well… for the rest of you…

For the rest of you, here’s some behind-the-scenes notes about how I constructed the history of this particular character, and without further ado, obvious spoilers for the chapter:

ON THALASSA

Thalassa’s a weirdly bare-bones character for how much of her life is catalysts for something. Her family, her marriages, her “death”, her amnesia, her career -- there’s a lot. But she herself… we don’t even know how the fuck she ended up in Borginia, for the love of god Capcom.

Because I hate Magnifi, because he is a bastard and I hate him, I’m assuming that he decided that because she had amnesia, and thus would have to relearn all her tricks for the Troupe and start from the ground up, he decided she would be more useful as blackmail material to get Zak and Valant squarely under his thumb, so he sent her away.

Because he is a bastard.

But we’ll back up a little, to I’m sure everyone’s reactions of “what happened with Jove in the Fae AU? He did what?”

Yeah.

Let me give you first the brief summary of how I see Thalassa’s life, canonically.

Apparently the average age of motherhood in Ace Attorney is about 18 or 19, if you do the math on Misty, Thalassa, Amara… everyone is young mothers, women aren’t allowed to be old. We can unpack that another time. For now, let’s think about Thalassa, and the fact that she was married and had a kid at 18.

For me, what I felt for her, was her story then, was that was her escape. Maybe it was a shotgun wedding, maybe she was pregnant -- but whatever, what I felt for her was that she got married young to leave the Troupe. The dark underbelly that became apparent with her “death” can’t have come from nowhere. I can’t imagine it was a very great place to live. I saw her as getting married to get away.

And then her husband dies, and her kid -- my pre-SoJ interpretation of events was that her husband died, and she’s 18 years old with a kid and completely overwhelmed by the thought of having to raise her son on her own. She can go back to the Troupe and not be alone, but then she’s 18 and has to raise her son within that shitshow, trying to shelter him from what she knows is gonna be Some Fuckening. And grief-stricken and so, so young, she doesn’t think she’s up to that. She gives Apollo her bracelet so that he will always have a token of her, and she puts him up for adoption, because she hopes that will be a better life for him than she can give right now, and she goes home. And then some years later, she has Trucy, and she is older, more experienced, and she thinks yes, she can raise Trucy within the Troupe but protected and safe form some of That Shit. Then she dies and so much for that.

-

SoJ added a hell of a lot to my understanding/interpretation of Thalassa, which I really love.

Now, again, I still imagine that she is running. She marries Jove and leaves the Troupe, because running away with her boyfriend, that’s one thing, but to say “he is my husband, and I am leaving with him”, well, her father can’t stop her. So she leaves with Jove, and they travel the world with their son. And then they take that fateful trip to Khura’in, where Jove takes Apollo off Thalassa’s hands for a night. (I still love forever whoever suggested that Apollo used Thal’s bracelets as teething rings and that’s why Jove/Apollo had it during the fire. “Here are my valuable, unique, almost magical bracelets that allow me to have superhuman powers. I will let my baby chew on them.”)

Khura’in collapses into shock and grief, the trial of the century between the new queen, the prior Minister of Justice and a top prosecutor, and the king-consort accused of murdering his wife, the Queen. The country is in turmoil, the city especially is in turmoil, and there is no room for a 19-year-old American to make her shouts heard. And as things get heated between Ga’ran and Dhurke, as the country hangs on a thread, someone pulls Thalassa aside and tells her she needs to go home. She needs to leave, while she still can, before this entire thing shatters.

And she does go home, grief-stricken and broken, 19 years old and lost her husband and her son and she has nothing in the world left. The Troupe doesn’t look so bad anymore, to what she’s been through, what she’s lost. She doesn’t know what else to do. She can’t bring herself to do anything else, to try and strike on alone. She’s 19 years old. What else can she do?

She goes home, and never speaks of her grief again. She’s weary and cynical and broken and never quite puts herself back together again. She tried to run and look what it did to her, and that’s something that she thinks of as almost a cruel twist of fate. Shouldn’t have left, Thalassa; if you hadn’t left you wouldn’t have lost a husband and a son. It’s with that sort of resignation that she decides to go back and make a life within the Troupe. You belong there, you see that now.

-

I think you can see, from that, how I spun that to the Fae AU.

The if I hadn’t left this wouldn’t have happened is plain and literal and obvious. She tries to leave; Jove dies. The fae are jealous and possessive and petty, and Magnifi had just been cast out of the Twilight Realm and lost everything he had, including his own name. He did not want to lose his favorite thing on top of it all. And so he curses Jove with death and he waits, waits for Thalassa to come back broken and grieving.

And she does, because she has less than nothing, she is new to the mundane world and she doesn’t know how to live, how to do anything, and she returns to Magnifi knowing what he has done. It’s monstrous, it’s a hideously abusive dynamic, and for the price of her soul Thalassa extracts a promise: he will never take from her someone she loves, ever again. And with that promise secure, she marries again, has a child again. And Magnifi takes nothing from her: Zak and Valant take her from Trucy. And by that point, Magnifi has her soul, and that’s the most use she can be. He has Zak and Valant to lie for him, if he really needs it, but here no longer in the Realm, there’s so much less use. He can let Thalassa go. Her last use to him is as leverage over Zak and Valant.

And that’s… about it, really. I hate Magnifi and I made him even more of a bastard than we knew he was from Chapter 12. He is the fucking worst and here’s the shorthand for why I made him that way. It’s… heavy. I got to a point in the chapter and I was like “holy god, I did not mean it to end up this way, for him to be this much of a monster”, which -- that sometimes sort of happens with the Fae AU, that when you start mixing in curses and soul dealings, the bad charas get so much worse, and this particular way that Magnifi got worse… yeah. Bastard.

Honestly, most of the other fae backstories will not be like this. This one just… turned out like it.

And I think that’s… about everything I wanted to include here, about my “canon” interpretation of Thalassa and how that plays here. Did I forget anything? I don’t think I forgot anything I wanted to mention here.

(Other than about the Summer Court. I ain’t telling you shit about the Summer Court.)

[attract-mode-collective]

Scorpion Vs. Elon Musk’s Mom: FIGHT

Yes, that is indeed Elon Musk’s mother up there. And no, I do not have a bigger sized version of the pic. Guess we could always ask captain-price-official if one does exist.

Or perhaps make your own? Here’s Elon’s mum by herself (and in higher res)...

And with that, it’s time to see what else I tweeted during the first half of March! So, sticking with fighting games: which Street Fighter character does lighting better? Ryu, via the animated movie (via settei)...

… Or Bison, via the live action flick (via toghomevideo)...

I absolutely love win quotes from rom hacks (via bison2winquote)...

I have a massive backlog of games, yet Tekken 7 just shot straight to the top of the list, thanks to the knowledge that you can accurately recreate Dynamite Headdy characters (via mysterious0bob)...

This Hatsune Miku X Space Channel 5 figure is v. nice (via nendoroidoftheday)...

A friendly reminder to everyone that A. I'm a massive fan of Seaman & B. my birthday is about a month away (via nutastic)...

This scene at the beach with a Figma of Link, from A Link Between Worlds, feels more like Link's Awakening than anything else (via vyntic)...

Toys and models are no longer just for reenacting memorable in-game moments, they can also reproduce famous IRL events that surrounded the games themselves (via 8bitcentral)...

So what's the going rate for ET for the Atari 2600 that was supposedly dug up in for that so-called documentary, Atari: Game Over? Which I recently re-watched and still can't believe people think is real. At any rate, am assuming the autograph from Howard Scott Warshaw gives it some actual value (via it8bit)...

And what's the going rate for Chinese Famiclone karaoke carts, primarily one with Jackie Chan on the label. Am also wondering if it's cuz his songs are included... you are aware of his successful career in music as well, right? (via ulan-bator)...

Been struggling to come up with a zinger for the past 10 minutes, but ain't nuthin gonna beat "Welcome to the Velvet Room y'all!" (via jatayu)...

To be filed under: it's funny cuz it's true (via doctorbutler)...

So the weather has been awful around these parts, lots of rain & snow, which gets in the way of imagining a giant tetromino in the sky (via uvula.jp)...

When playing Super Mario Galaxy 2, please keep in mind that somewhere out there, despite being out of view, is the ghost of Luigi floating through vast stretches of empty space, with zero destination or purpose (via suppermariobroth)...

Speaking of Luigi, and Supper Mario Broth; they’ve taken the adventures he talks about in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door and illustrated them in the form of a comic that closely adheres to the style of the game...

Also a friendly reminder of that rift between Mario & Luigi for a few years (they'd eventually make up & resume doing games together, as everyone knows) after Mario discovered his brother being all friendly with the enemy in Super Mario World (via peazy86)...

Yet another obscure Mario factoid: the move he uses to defeat Bowser in Super Mario 64 originates from an old furikake commercial that predates the game by about a decade (via suppermariobroth)...

Yet another random gif of Mario from the 80s, this one from a video guide from Super Mario Bros; I miss the days in which his look was not yet standardized (via suppermariobroth)...

And here we have a completely unlicensed Dr. Mario, unless Nintendo gave him the OK to brush up on his doctoring skills by assuming an alias at a family clinic in Houston TX (via suppermariobroth)...

It's funny how, when it comes to obscure Mario games, everyone brings up Mario Is Missing or Hotel Mario, but what about Super Mario Bros. & Friends: When I Grow Up? (via kazucrash)...

Mario gets his own breakfast cereal.

Luigi? Booze. (via @carolynmichelle)

A question that I posed on MAR10Day (via retrogamerblog)...

It's not Super Mario Bros, but simply…. Bros (via therubberfruit)...

I've never wanted something "bootleg" to be official as much as as this Dark Souls fan art. And if the actual game somehow looked like this, that would be... gladly welcomed (via gamefreaksnz)

Oh God, Nier is amazing and all, but I would SO be down for a yelling & screaming match with Yoko Taro on this point (via @Avisch_)...

Behold my fave Twitter thread in recent memory: "You see, that was taken from Africa, but it belonged to the Keyblade Masters. Imma take it off your hands for ya."

"Nah, It was taken by British soldiers in Africa but it's actually from Gaia. A sword far heavier than any sword has rights to be, yet a true 1st Class will wield it with ease. Don't trip, I'm gonna take it off your hands for you."

"Nah, It was taken by British soldiers in Africa but it's actually from Hyrule. Originally crafted by the goddess Hylia herself. Only a true hero that is pure of heart and strong of body is capable of wielding the sacred blade. Don't trip, I'm gonna take it off your hands for you."

Naturally the star of Home Alone 1 & Home Alone 2 has both a NES Classic and Famicom Mini, like all Hollywood bigwigs (via @SimonParkin)...

While discussing Ready Player One with a colleague, was reminded of the dude who was so inspired by the book that he turned his apartment into an arcade (and then his fiancé broke up with him; via nydailynews.com)...

Recently there was some kind of event at Sega HQ, I think? Details are basically nonexistent due to the language barrier, but far as I can gather, 16 super fans were invited to come by & party (via @SEGA_OFFICIAL)...

... If you check out #セガ公式アカウントオフ会 you'll see numerous pics from the get-together, though the one thing that stands out is the assortment of Sega hardware (via @KK__Cy)...

... MIA, cuz no variants were on display, is my fave alt ver. of the Mega Drive: the Wondermega. But @yu100s took one of his own… with the ugly ass US Sonic 1 NOT FOR RESALE cart inserted, Jesus fucking Christ...

The Sega logo in katakana looks pretty hawt (via @Exciteless)...

... Yet the Sega logo in Arabic which is official, is even hawter (via boingboing.net)...

Please enjoy your daily recommended dosage of an erotic hospital-management sim (via @topherflorence)...

NCSX makes the fidget spinner comparison, though the fidget cube seems a bit more appropriate; behold the fidget game controller...

Toy Fair recently took place, and naturally I took tons of pictures. You can find all of them on my personal Instagram, though a few are worth re-posting here. Like the latest in NECA's line of classic movie characters, as they appeared in video game adaptations...

Though in the case of their take on the Alien vs. Predator arcade game, they even included Capcom's original characters...

Unpainted, pre-production figures from Reflection's upcoming Ghost 'N Goblins line, sporting the oh-so popular Kenner-eqsue retro look...

Pint-sized arcade cabs, available this fall for $400. They’ll come unassembled, though dead simple to put together; the construction of the assembled mini cab was surprisingly sturdy, plus the screen wasn't bad (contrary to the picture that my iPhone's camera paints). Though the controls were shit; no word on whether the parts can be swapped or not...

Was delighted to not not only see Cuphead merch at Toy Fair, but more than just one instance (though this was the only time I was allowed to take a picture)...

Came across a producer of infant goods that had a selection of Super Mario baby bibs...

I asked the rep if this was their first foray into video games and the answer was "Yes." And when asked who's been mostly buying them, was told "Video game collectors, who don't even have children… it's so bizarre!!!"

Sticking with bibs, here's a set that tied to Dragon Quest (via miki800.com)...

... I asked on Twitter what they said and @alexfkraus was kind enough to provide translations, here and here.

Was so inspired by @MinusWorld listing which characters he'd like to see in the next Super Smash Bros that I decided to cite a few of my own:

- Mona from WarioWare - Nester from Nintendo Power’s Howard & Nester comics - Link from that Japanese A Link To The Past commercial - A deck of Hanafuda cards

... BTW, had no idea Ollie also mentioned a Hanafuda; I only saw his initial four, initially! Anyhow, my second round of choices:

- Ashley from Another Code - The "who are you running from?" guy in the Game Boy Camera - Lucas from The Wizard - The 4WD from Stunt Race FX (since Fighters Megamix with the Daytona USA 2 car clearly ain't ever happening)

I alas forgot to include BoxBoy, much like how I got these Uniqlo shirts when they were on sale last year (via minusworld.co.uk)...

Here we have my fave reaction on Tumblr to the Nintendo Direct with the Smash 5 reveal, if only for the punchline (via mendelpalace)...

And here we have my fave reaction on Twitter (via @redford)...

This one is also great because wrestling (via @SteveYurko)...

Speaking of wrestling, remember that time Tazz, while commentating for Smackdown, was also playing a game of Final Fantasy X-2… or so he thought? (via defjamvendetta)

"hey quick question whoever's developing the wwe games now: what the fuck"

"It helps him eat small fish"

"better question: why isn't this an option in every game ever"

"FAIR POINT" (via snoozlebee)

Whereas most publishers in Japan, during the 80s & 90s, had festivals (or carnivals) centered around shmups, Asmik's was based on women's wrestling (via oldgamemags)...

It's not for a video game, though the illustration is by someone who has been involved in a few; it's by Satoshi Yoshioka, of Snatcher and Policenauts fame (via videogamesdensetsu)...

It's not for a video game that actually exists, but is instead a completely fictional instructional manual, one that makes you wish it was real (via tomeccles)...

Just when you think you've seen every ultra, wacky & obscure video game box art there is to see out there (via @CoolBoxArt)...

I have a serious soft sport for the usage of video game imagery among early 80s musicians (via siryl)...

... What the final product looks like BTW/FYI...

A. so there's a VR version of Fruit Ninja, did not know that, & B. if you like watching people play it (for whatever reason), yet wish you could actually see a person swinging a sword and not just some abstract swiping motions… here ya go (via prostheticknowledge)...

Playing games in VR is so 2017… Handling your collection of games in VR? Now THAT is very 2018 (via mendelpalace)...

Lots of friends are playing the new DBZ fighting game, though I'll give it a shot once it hits the arcades and is also in a cab like this (via @Fotosdecomics)...

I absolutely need to get my hands on this S.H. Figuarts Shinya Arino (via tinycartridge)...

Available right now, some Altered Beast, Bare Knuckles, and Rent-a-Hero resin kits (via miki800.com)...

Cursed? More like blessed amirite (via @Pretzel_Pup)...

I know Yoji Shinkawa is best buds with Hideo Kojima, but would he be open to doing another gig at Konami? Cuz him art directing a reboot of Twin Bee would kinda be the best (via @SESKOU)...

There's money on the table with this Metroid X Pepsi mash-up, am confident of this (via ryangilleece)...

Cuz even someone like Samus Aran needs a good stretch every once in a while (via jon-bliss)...

And this third piece of Metroid fan art in a row is very much related to Metroid 3, aka Super Metroid (even though it technically depicts the ending to Metroid 2; via mmillus)...

Awakening indeed (via brookietf)...

For those who have asked, yes, I have seen the hack that connects the Switch to an itty-bitty black & white TV...

Though I'm only really interested in tiny b&w CRT TVs if I can play Duck Hunt on them (via arcade-crusade)...

I not only dig teeny-tiny displays for light gun games, but also for driving games as well (perhaps some of you might remember the following from this)...

Back to tube displays; seeing Zelda on a CRT also reminded me of how Dark Souls look on a CRT, aka CRT Souls or 480i Souls (which again I'm hoping regular readers of the blog remember, especially since the original post has fallen victim to a Tumblr bug)...

"while playing king's field just now i died in the magic cave of fire and when i warped back there were beautiful graphical glitches everywhere" (via mendelpalace)...

Some landscapes, filled with beauty and mystery and terror, are accidental (see: the graphical glitches from before)… whereas others are completely deliberate, as in the case of Atlantia (via obscurevideogames)...

Once again, I REALLY need to figure out a way to play some PC88 games (via obscurevideogames)...

Here we have a semi-common Space Invaders sighting for the time, in an episode of Battle Fever J, one of the earliest Super Sentai shows (via himitsusentaiblog)...

And here we have a rare Game Gear sighting, in old OVA anime, Starship Girl Yamamoto Yohko. Hell, it’s a rare Game Gear in anything sighting; the only other example that comes to mind is Rumble In The Bronx (via @TheOtaking)...

And an equally rare Sonic on the runway sighting (via kotaku.com)...

I normally watch a video in its entirety before making a recommendation. Yet when it came to this overview of Last Bronx's legacy in Japan (and lack thereof in the West), hearing the main theme to Beat Takeshi's Violent Cop near the 3 min mark was all I needed (have since watched the whole thing, and as expected, it's another awesome Kim Justice production)...

And finally, a friend notes: "subzero's right arm is real close to trump's spinal column

just sayin" (via @jbillinson)...

[theannaredfield]

I wanted my 1001 post to be something special and cool, like the file I made doing into the lore of my Resident Evil OCs, but I have decided I shall use the time to just talking about Resident Evil. I’m seeing a LOT of comments and as a longer time fan of the games, I feel like I could add a new perspective on some issues, and maybe add some important info.

This post will talking about; Teaming Up with Heisenberg, Chris’ Role with Rose, and Dimitrescu advertisement. Spoilers ahead.

Dimitrescu Ad-

Now, this is the biggest issue. Many people are angry because Dimitrescu was only in the game for the first 3 hours at most, (or in better terms, 20% of the time if your play is 13 hours) but was the focus of all the marketing. Here’s the thing though, that was actually genius on Capcom’s part. Dimitrescu is so early in the game that nothing about the later game is revealed. Up until after you defeat her, you don’t have a clear idea what’s going on. It’s just hunt down your baby. You don’t find the first flask till after.

So because Dimitrescu is so early and leaves most of the plot unknown, it was really good to advertise her because nothing of the game would be spoiled. This was a problem with one of the last 3make trailers, as they showed Nemesis’s dog form. OG nemesis didn’t have a dog form, so finding out he’d have one in this game was a spoiler. It caused many people to be like “don’t watch this trailer. It’ll spoil you.”

Next part of its genius was that since the first trailer, people were going NUTS for Lady D. The whole internet was simping for her. Capcom saw this, and they acted on this, showing people all they could of her and making her the focus. They gave the people what they wanted, and this got Capcom more sales, because you had people who had no interest in RE beforehand picking up this game just for her. Feeding into her fans got them more money.

That’s why Lady Dimitrescu’s advertisement was actually really good. Because it kept most of the game a secret, and fed into what the fans wanted, giving Capcom more sales from simps. People are just kinda angry that she wasn’t the main focus (despite the fact the other lords were shown and Miranda was mentioned in the ads as well.)

Teaming Up with Kaaarrll-

One thing people, myself included, wondered was what would happen if we had the choice to team up with Heisenberg. Now, do I have a good idea on how it would go in game?? No. That’s a lot of speculation and headcanons. However I have an idea on how Capcom would do it. Capcom is... lazy, if I’m being honest. They like money and they do stuff cheaply.

Take into account RE2 and 3make. Those games had alternate endings depending on how you played (Claire A/Leon B or Leon A/Claire B) (plus the three different RE3 endings) however when remaking these games there was only always the one ending. There was no way to get a different ending, no matter how you played. Additionally, the A and B games were different in the OG, but in the remake they’re almost exactly the same with a few things changed at the beginning. In the OG for example, Mr. X was only in the B game. In the remake he’s at both but just shows up earlier in B.

Even looking at RE7, they give you this illusion of choice between Mia and Zoe, however choosing Zoe is automatically pointless and gives you the bad end in the long run. This is because Zoe immediately dies and after completing Mia’s portion, she also dies. Choosing between the 2 was pointless because the outcome is just death for one. Nothing even really changes in gameplay aside from Zoe and Mia dying. The ending boss fight and mines are all exactly the same. Even the ship is exactly the same.

So how would Capcom do Heisenberg? Well, like 7, I feel they’d give us an illusion of choice, where the option is clearly “don’t side with him if you want the good ending” because if you chose side with him, he will somehow end up ultimately dying and Ethan will still also get his heart ripped out. (Possibly by going after Miranda) Or alternatively, you chose side with him and then he still pushes you down the hole, changing nothing about the factory aside from some dialogue. Maybe Ethan says something like “I’ll side with you but using Rose is 100% of the table” and Heisenberg goes “well fuck you then.”

Basically if we got to side with Heisenberg, Capcom would probably do it in the laziest way possible because they don’t want to have two separate ways the game can go, and we’ll somehow wind up with the same exact places and gameplay despite the differing options.

Chris-

°-° Ya’ll are really wild with Chris, not gonna lie. I see a lot of people going “Chris was always gonna take Rose and turn her into the next Eveline” “Chris was gonna lie to Ethan, say Rose died and then turn her into a weapon” “Chris turned Rose into the next bioweapons, he’s a monster. He treats her so terribly”

This goes heavily against Chris’s character. Not gonna lie, it’s completely hypocritical of him. Why? Well you see, back in Resident Evil 5 and 6, Chris had two people he was close to, Jill Valentine and Piers Nivens, turned into living bioweapons. Jill had no free will and Piers was transformed. Chris wanted nothing more than to save both of them, urging Piers to come with him because “they could fix this.” These were people he cared about turned into BOWs, and it pained him, he wanted to save them but with Piers he couldn’t. Piers sacrificed himself. Also keep in mind, Chris is a brother. Claire is his only loving family and I don’t think he could ever turn her into a bioweapon, let alone allow someone else to. If Chris would be so against people he knows becoming BOWs, why would he look at Rose and go “screw it. She’s powerful, let’s make her a weapon.” He knows how much Rose meant to Ethan, and he felt bad about having to abandon Ethan. He wouldn’t just... do him like that.

Also, it would be way outta Chris character to turn Rose into a BOW because at the very end of the game, he’s upset with the BSAA. The BSAA has begun using bioweapons as soldiers, which goes against everything they’re suppose to stand for and is completely hypocritical. Chris is upset and ashamed in them, that’s why he says “go to the European Headquarters. Someone has to pay.” He’s going there to raise hell, essentially, because what the fuck are they doing. It would be Chris going “you can’t use BOWs but I can so fuck you.” (Keep in mind, the BSAA being corrupted is why Chris was starting to drift away, and this might be his last straw with them.)

In short Chris never planned to turn Rose into the next Eveline, nor does he want to. He is strongly against BOWs and the use of them. Especially turning innocent people into BOWs, and using them for evil. Not only that but he’s seen people he cares about be turned into BOWs and he didn’t like it one bit, why would he betray Ethan and do that exact same thing to Ethan’s daughter, when he was so determined to save his friends from it. He is most likely just training Rose so that she can control her powers and of kill anyone on accident. The most I can assume is that Rose is an agent for this new organization, of her own volition, but these guys in suits are really on top of her in case she goes rogue this has nothing to do with Chris influence.

In shorter terms, it’s against Chris’ morals, goes against his character thus far, and would be hypocritical of him to have evil plans or intentions for Rose. He is still the good guy, he just isn’t the greatest at explaining stuff (see Chris not telling Claire he was going to Europe because he didn’t want her involved and then her proceeding to go to Raccoon and get involved for more evidence)

(Keep in mind, this isn’t the first “evil” child Chris let live. In RE6, he comes face to face with Jake Muller, Albert Wesker’s son. Chris comments how he sees his father in him, and you’d think this would be a red flag considering what Wesker did. Jake proceeds to point a gun right at Chris’s head, and almost shoots him in the head. What does Chris do? Let him go. He knows Jake isn’t an enemy or going to be an enemy later, so he doesn’t kill him or try to capture him. Chris is essentially only against BOWs who are evil or used for war. If they’re just regular people who were handed a bad card, then he’d let them go (hence why he wouldn’t kill Heisenberg and Rose if they lived. As long as they weren’t planning anything evil, they’d be okay.)

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright... here we go. we’re starting the big one. this... thing is almost over.

we’re going back to........ kooraheen to finish this.

time to strap in for the long haul.

-

did Dhurke hijack the PP show or was he just watching it and he decided to make that speech at his TV

i honestly can’t tell because of the weird way the scene was set. it looks like a reflection from a TV screen, but it also fades like a broadcast being intercepted...

fuck I'm just distracted by Dhurke’s stupid voice. and uncomfortable at the actress playing Rayfa. imagine being the princess and having your favourite show turn you into a weird damsel in distress being manhandled by ninjas. gross.

also yay! they’ve got the indiana jones orb!! time to melt off some faces...

-

ok it was a hijacked show... ...why is there a news report on this in America? Are American troupes assisting in the Kooraheenese war?

-

“Daaaa-aaaad. What’re you up to thiiiiis time???”

i love how not-giving-a-shit-about-it apollo is here. and by love it i mean hate it.

oh, your long-lost adoptive father just happens to pop up on television starting a revolution, and this is the first time you’ve heard from him in like 20 years? huh, no big deal.

-

AND ACE ATTORNEY TURNS INTO THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW

-

oh noooo... he’s one of THESE guys... ururughhhhghghgh

-

“Wait... don’t tell me you haven’t told anyone about me, son?”

“I’m sorry, dad, it’s just you didn’t exist up until now...”

-

“you just show up here without warning after all this time... what gives?”

apollo’s got a point there, pa. also Dhurke’s theme reminds me of Coach Oleander’s from Psychonauts

-

Apollo just instinctively knows that nobody wants to be around him unless they’re getting labour out of him. That’s... honestly really depressing. I mean I know it’s supposed to be a joke but I just can’t bring myself to laugh.

its just... apollo is legitimately so bitter and sad that i just feel awful for him. 

-

yeesh... this whole thing just started off super sour.

-

wait, the piano has sentimental value to phoenix? they mentioned he never practiced on it and he didn’t like being a piano player... does that mean this piano is something phoenix just happened to own, and has its own backstory? I WANNA KNOW

(snerk)

ok thats mean but it did make me laugh

-

the JACKET IS APOLLO’S

IT IS APOLLO’S

HOLY SHIT

the rest of this case can be total shit but at least we figured out the mystery of the discarded red jacket. 

-

“our houseplant was called apollo”

“was it a cactus?”

“How’d you guess?”

“cause apollo doesn’t get enough hugs, either!”

-

apollos dad is so cool he reads his son’s personal shit out loud. what a great guy!

-

“That’s too bad! You seem like you’d be a fun, cool guy to hang out with!”

when he wasn’t being a rebel and not having time for his kids, obviously.

-

THERE IT IS! 

siblings dont know theyre siblings joke is funny both normally and ironically because the writers need to FUCKIN GET ON THAT

also i love that he’s basically like “hey son, this girl doesn't resent me! you should marry her so that i can continue to get favours out of you!”

-

“What did Mr. Dhurke mean when he said he was the man who raised you, apollo?” i dunno, trucy... think with your mind brains...

-

“How come you never told me?!”

“Sorry, it’s just, capcom hadn’t butchered my backstory at that point yet.”

-

I honestly find it really weird that Trucy’s all chirpy about this. She of all people should know the sting of a dad just up and disappearing on you.

-

Dhurke: I have to steal this orb. I’m asking you two because youre lawyers.

Kay Faraday, sitting in the Capcom warehouse: (sneezes)

-

Dhurke: I made a stupid gamble. Hope you can bail me out, son I haven’t seen in 20 years!

-

nooo.... don’t bring Kurain Village into this, pleeeeaaase... I don’t want to have my favourite village ruined for meeeeee....

-

:3c i chose nope

-

i wonder what Trucy would do if Zak waltzed in and immediately asked her for a favour. tbf phoenix would probably launch him into the sun before he could set foot into the office but...

-

Ok... So Dhurke doesn’t actually want to fix the legal system; he just said that he wants to gain immense spiritual power which will somehow give him the legal authority to RULE Kooraheen. 

how does spiritual power have any effect on land deeds anyway? 

-

“Only the rulers of Kooraheen have ever laid eyes on the orb, Apollo”

and Ahlbi’s seen the box.

-

“I figured you were poor as fuck so I brought you a plate of sushi!”

ok either A) He thought so little of Apollo that he assumed he’d just be starving on the street

or B) He’s been keeping tabs on Apollo and knows that the WAA doesn’t make a lot of cash, yet he hasn’t made any attempt to contact Apollo himself. Until he needs a favour.

what a.... great guy.

-

what the FUCK

“here, as my second present... a PICTURE OF YOUR REAL DAD, THE ONE WHO CARED ABOUT YOU AND IS DEAD. HOORAY!”

i can tell theyre trying to do the ‘Hagrid gives Harry a photo album of his family for comfort” but its REALLY NOT THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES.

-

His name was... JJ.

-

~as you know~

also why would a musician perform with magicians? 

-

y’know, ive seen pictures of Jove Justice so far. and A) he looks like a tool, and B) the designers were lazy as fuck and just slapped Apollo’s hair onto Phoenix’s face. I had a pretty negative opinion of him initially. I was thinking I wouldn’t like any of Apollo’s new dads.

But you know what? If they go deeper into Jove’s backstory and prove that he was a caring father, I’m ready to completely drop any criticisms of him and carry this guy on my shoulders

cause compared to Dhurke ill bet he's a freakin angel 

-

...welp... back to Kurain village. At least it’ll remind me of bygone days...

...heh, aw. it’s cute. i like the sparrows on the roof.

ooh! an updated theme, too! not quite as nice as the original but it is nice.

-

he was full of piss and vinegar

jesus

-

yeah, kids run around naked. its not super surprising.

-

“man, I miss that hut...”

apollo youre gonna make me cry;;

-

Ema: :) i’ll show you the way to Dr. Buff. SURPRISE, HES DEAD! AHAHAHAHHAHA

-

NOOO

MY SYSTEM FUCKED UP AND STARTED ME OVER FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER AAARGRRJHRFJ

id gone on a short break and i come back to this (weep)

-

...

does Dhurke have boobs..?

...or just extremely prominent pecs...

-

phew ok back on track. 

wait hold on. if Dr. Buff is in Kurain village, where is he staying exactly? All the houses in Kurain village are old-style Japanese; this appears to be a modern day number.

-

“please tell me youre joking”

“as if i’d come out here for a few laughs, Apollo”

yeah but youre not above leading him to the dr’s study and THEN telling him he’s dead WTF

-

ahah. further proof that stepladders are superior.

i mean i know he didnt actually fall off that ladder by accident or whatever but still

-

“you could say he died an honourable death...”

...crushed under his nerd books like a fuckin cartoon :T

-

YEAH

POPS

POHLFUCKYA

-

“I’m so sorry... It seems you’ve had quite a life.”

Why else would she say that except that some poor dialogue translator is secretly begging the series to stop fucking up his backstory

-

“I mean, middle-aged man with long hair and an eye-patch? You don’t see that everyday.”

just give Valant an eyepatch

-

hang on. why does an archeologist in America have Kooraheen’s founding orb anyway? I thought it burnt peoples’ faces off. And was super precious. Queen Garananana doesn't seem like someone who’d just hand out a precious ball like that.

-

oh huh they found an ugly dalek. thats two dalek references in this game now...

-

did i just... have a ladder conversation about a relic that looks like an airplane.

-

why does everyone keep making blithe jokes about the doctors horrible death..? does that usually happen or am i misremembering 

-

WHAT THE STATUE OF AMI AND THE URN AND THE GRAVY SCROLL ARE THERE NOOOOOO YOU GET YOUR SLIMY HANDS OFF THEM SOJ, PUT THEM BACK IN T&T WHERE THEY BELONG

god there’s even a coffee shelf. i guess this side of the room is the “Relics of a better game” section.

-

polly the clean freak. what a sweetheart :)

-

aw yeah baby

its printing time

-

oh yeah i forgot this version of printing SUCKS

but i do like the little pap sound it makes when you put down powder

-

...they have Datz and Dhurkes prints on file.

You guys sure rock at being undercover. 

-

ill give them credit for having the Dance of Devotion not rhyme in English.

seeing lyrics again just gives me flashbacks to Serenade tho

Guitar, Guitar... Up together to the sky...

-

MAY-OR DE-WEY

MAY-OR DE-We

wait that has the same number of syllables if you just say the pun

 PAUL-A TI-SHON

PAUL-A TI-SHON

-

...why the fuck is he in a palanquin 

anybody in a palanquin is bad news ALSO WHY DOES IT SAY RECLAIM THE GLORY OF KURAIN 

KURAIN DOES NOT HAVE POLTIICIANS. ESPECIALLY NOT MALE ONES.

SOJ. SOJ WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY.

-

oh yeah he’s a bad guy

-

...king of this fine nation. First of all... America doesn’t have kings. Second of all, Kurain isn’t a country, it’s a small village. Either he’s a moron or SOJ is fucking up at unprecedented speeds 

-

...did his theme song just ‘wheeee’

-

“Jerk Q. Public”

pffft

-

i wish you were golden boy. then you'd be morally questionable but entertaining. 

-

I'm very uncomfortable 

-

k so we’re back in Kurain and so far we’ve seen Zero women in total apart from Ema.

even the unnamed heckler was an old man.

is this the same Kurain Village I know?

-

wh- talk??

what do you mean talk???

i dont wanna talk to this guy he's a dickcheese!!!

-

Trucy’s 17 and she hasn’t studied politics at least a little yet? ...weird

-

“Its real name is the Crystal of Ami Fey”

wait what

-

“It’s been passed down for generations in the Atishon family”

WAIT WHAT

is he dicking around or is he distantly related to maya

or is he just totally dicking around

if so how dare he use Ami’s name in vain.

-

where is Datz from anyway

-

paul i dont mean to dash your hopes but becoming grand high emperor of kurain village will in fact not make you king of the world

-

datz sure is a good rebel... getting caught... and put in jail...........

damnit, Vore Machine, what am i gonna do with you?

-

well Apollo, from demon to deer. thats not bad.

-

dog-faced cop..??

if youre very sneakily referencing our old pal Gumshoe youve got another thing coming, Vore Machine. In the form of my fist.

-

“A shut-in? Sounds like it will be a challenge just to get a conversation going.”

yeah.... not like youve.... ever dealt with someone like that....... before....... hehe.... heh..............

-

how long has Datz been in jail if he already knows the cafeteria itinerary 

-

um guys; maybe you should be a tiny bit more concerned about Athena??

-

i just realized the Shichishito is gold. It’s green, you idiots. Or is that one too bent and bloody for display??

-

thats it folks thats spirit of justice 

apollo has become a living title drop

hes fuckin dead

-

what kind of bullets were those

-

yeah apollo, a fledgeling is equivalent to a private.

...also youre not a fledgeling youre near full experience capacity. this is your third... (and last...) year.

-

so Dhurke is in full stealth mode until it comes to a remotely operated drone that could have literally anybody on the other side? brilliant, pal. 

this is why your revolution’s taken like 23 years to get off the ground, jsyk.

-

...k komandir?

i thought you were supposed to be a parody of The Soldier. what are you doing calling people by Russian military names? did the red scare not happen in this reality?

-

pfft 

it’s so cute. 

im struggling between finding it adorable and being uncomfortable 

-

“in other words, something caused him to withdraw from the world...”

maybe his mom’s death??? maybe?????

does anyone in this game understand how a bad thing make a peoples’ brain go???

-

pretty impressive that a woman’s body could provide sufficient cushioning to soften such a drop.

-

lol. death attributed to random maniac. thanks soj.

-

“Private Justice! You’ve suffered a loss just like mine!”

“I have... and thats how I know how you feel.”

yes, i can remember exactly happened when i was a one-year old in diapers. exactly the same kind of pain and trauma.

look i know theyre trying to have a moment but there’s a huge difference between growing up orphaned and being recently bereaved. Sure, Apollo’s seen his fair share of hardship and his experiences aren’t to be devalued, but it’s not the same kind of pain as having your parents die later in your life, especially with the mom’s horrific demise.

Honestly, it’d make more sense if he brought up Clay, since Clay was with him since he was very small and his death was sudden and deeply unfair.

BUT CLAY’S IN THE PAST, CLAY DOESN’T EXIST, WHO’S CLAY?? I DONT KNOW BACK TO SPIRIT OF JUSTICE

-

YEAH

POHLFUCKYA DURKE

dhurke the burk  amiright attorneys 

-

“the opaque crystal orb is the key”

>needless adjective

>will come into play later in court

-

um so nobody’s gonna mention the blonde lady on his desktop background or........

-

i like sarge. i hope they dont turn sour when theyre revealed.

-

nice boot

ooh phosphorescence! neato!

-

pearl: hello I'm here to do something ive never done before to provide clues for this case. i hope i’ve been useful! thank you, and goodnight.

...as contrived as this is, i am glad to see someone who actually comes from kurain village.

-

wow, the gangs all here huh

-

so they renamed Eagle Mountain “”””mt. mitama”””” eh

nice...............

-

“you are at that age, after all...”

says apollo who's like 24

also why is she talking about all the women leaving the village? i thought it was the men. is this why i haven't seen any ladies? they all just shipped off downtown?? and of course there’s no mention of the creepy oppressive atmosphere and strictness of the village...

-

nice alliteration apollo

-

rain spirit at a bus stop and you hacks didnt make a Totoro joke?? lame

-

“Dj’you bring a light?”

“Ņ̮͔̜̬͖̝ͫͦ̄̒̀̾̆̓̀ͤͨ͋̓̈̑̂͗́ͤo̸̵͈͎̤͇̤̙̯͔̙͖̞̳̙̠̹̞̲̭ͣ́ͫ͌ͦ̒́͞ͅ?ͯͩͨ̾̅̈ͮ̉̀̌͛̆͑̚҉̧͓̠͎̠͎̀̀”

-

how can you not recognize a foreign voice you idiot

-

“He tried to fucking kill us but he also gave us this flashlight. To um... see our slow death by starvation better I guess?”

-

“We couldn’t get back to where we started if we wanted to”

if you wanted to??? thats exactly what you want!!!

-

Klavier: Hello! This is flashback Klavier here to say: Don’t you miss me? Haha. I miss existing too. Oh well! See you next time~ ...i if there is one.

-

DEAD

-

aw, lucky you! you lucked into falling to your death directly to where you wanted to go!

-

“Yes! Time to find that orb! When we have it, we can....rot here for eternity.”

...ok i know the doc found a way out but still

-

wHAT THE FUCK

THAT HOLE IS LIKE 40 FEET UP

...oh well, if phoenix can survive it, so can they..?

-

i love that there are various sea-related items scattered around that give an obvious way out but only yield “durr??? a sea thing??? how this get here??????????” when inspected 

-

whats with dhurkes’ magic eyes

-

mmmmmmmm a slide puzzle great

“maybe the ppictures correspond to the song”

NO

REALLY??

what is with this game and not outright stating the obvious? its not like it spoils the player or anything; it just makes the WAA look like idiots

-

fuck this I'm gonna finish this stupid puzzle without this game’s help or die trying 

-

...ah. my personal need for pattern and order blinded me to the truth

oh well; it’s open now. i’m gonna smash Eshiro’s stupid smirking face with it.

-

“opening that box means you're the best lawyer ever! enjoy leaving the series forever!!!”

-

“A royal stole that orb”

stole it... as opposed to just taking it and doing whatever they want with it because it’s theirs and there’s absolutely no reason to have to “steal” it. 

unless they wanted to frame the rebels i guess but like. theyre rebels. theyre already pretty hated

-

“it would be seen as utter sacrilege to let a foreign man study this artifact”

oh also it would debunk that whole “explodes your face if you look at it” thing

-

...here we go...

-

“he used to be a nice kid, but now...”

he’s an enourmous shitstain?

“he tried to convict trucy for a crime she didnt even commit...”

ok, apollo. there are a zillion valid reasons to hate sadmad, and yes, his reasoning in that trial was shit. but just being a prosecutor and doing what a prosecutor is meant to do doesn’t make him evil. he isn’t about to just roll over because the defendant’s your sis–– er, best friend.

-

he... could be playing the long game, and interfering could fuck up his plan, Dhurke. Also how was he a rebel and then somehow managed to get into good graces with the royals? It’s already been proven that Dhurke’s Dummy Dragon Gang suck at being stealthy or having any sense of self-preservation. I doubt they just wouldn’t recognize Sadmad

-

“it’s not conviction that fills his heart; it’s resignation and despair”

are you telling me Sadmad is the equivalent of a guy in a dead end office job taking it out on his coworkers

-

“The only thing I know for sure is... Nahyuta is suffering, and he is suffering in silence”

edgeworth: been there, done that!

blackquill: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

-

ya sure put a lot of stock in Sadmad, Dhurke. i mean i guess he’s your son but seriously; if you're a proper rebel you’d cut your losses and get on with shit already with or without him

-

...y’know, this speech about lawyers being like dragons kind of doesn’t have the same emotion impact and gravitas that the non-dragon one in T&T did.

-

oh how... charming...

*America’s* badge is shaped like a sunflower... and Kooraheen’s is shaped like a buggy eye.

-

YARGH

dont DO that

your voice is BAD

-

“he’s my son! therefor he has to believe in the same thing as me! nothing, not even torture could have changed him!”

cue Gredgeworth’s awkward cough from the afterlife.

-

“You know, I remember when Nahyuta and I were kids, he used to say with great pride ‘I have the blood of a dragon in me!’”

cue tiny apollo feeling left out and alone because he doesn’t know what kind of blood is in him 

-

>reform court system

>rescue son

well... i guess there could be worse reasons to start a revolution.

-

“I mean, what are fathers for?!”

( ‘I... I wouldn’t know...’) 

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, GAME

ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY HEART

YOU CAN’T GIVE APOLLO ALL THESE EMOTIONS WHEN YOU’RE ALSO SHAFTING HIS ASS AT THE SAME TIME

SHAME ON YOU

-

HE HAS A BROKEN ARM

HOWS HE GONNA SWIM

-

oh its high tide yay

oh it’s... really high tide

wow.

-

well this is fun. i daresay id really like this sequence... if it wasn’t in this game.

-

“oh no... the water might carry me up to the way out of here... how awful.”

lol can you imagine if this was timed tho

-

oh hey it’s the DD panic panic song. i liked that one. it deserves its spot in the suspense music roster.

-

y’know at this point i kinda hope he really just dies

wouldn’t that be a kicker

not that i hate apollo or anything but I'm just............... so tired

-

apollo’s pretty calm for a drowning person

i’ve nearly suffocated before and the only thing going through my head was AIR AIR AIR GET AIR GET AIR GET AIR AIR AIR

-

baby apollo: waahhhh!!! we’re both perfectly dry!!! the artist didn’t bother to make us look wet in the flashback!

-

A) Little Apollo doesn’t even call Dhurke “Daddy” or “Papa” despite being raised by him since infant hood, possibly meaning Dhurke gave him the ‘You’re adopted” speech pretty early. Or else kids that “aren’t really my son” have to go by name basis. See? Nahyuta calls him father. 

B) Haha! Boys don’t cry, not-son! Suck those sissy tears back up into your skull, or you’ll look gay! It doesn’t matter that you’re like five and you almost drowned to death! Don’t embarrass me!

-

“Don’t ever hesitate to call when you need me”

oh but apollo your ass gets shipped back to america tomorrow ok

-

no seriously. on one hand; why did apollo get sent away? why couldn’t he be a rebel alongside nahyuta and fight for his family? on the other hand, why didn’t dhurke send nahyuta with him? if apollo’s going away because it’s dangerous, why is nahyuta staying with dhurke in the path of danger?

to be honest I'm ashamed that I'm crying, but it’s less about this scene being sad as fuck and more about the fact that I know that none of this is ever really resolved. Dhurke is still a piece of shit who made no attempt to contact apollo for years until he needed a favour out of him. and Apollo has to live with this stupid backstory because ESHIRO thought it would be dramatic and cool. Apollo’s going to “go home”, leave the series... He doesn’t even know he’s leaving his last scrap of real family who gives a shit about him behind in America.

Apollo doesn’t deserve this. 

-

Dhurke, with superman theme playing in the background: Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Though only a heartless, shithead person, would leave you behind to die! So this isn’t great.

-

...is he holding him in his broken arm

wait is that arm even broken

has he just been holding it like it’s in a sling for no reason this whole time

-

“Still can’t swim, eh?”

oh fuck off 

-

“Good thing your name’s not Neptune, hahahaha!”

A) OH FUCK OFF

B) NEPTUNE IS A SEA GOD, HE’D ACTUALLY BE RESISTANT TO WATER

-

WHOA FUCK HOLY SHIT

vore machine came out of nowhere and oh

also he is also laughing at a guy who almost drowned

well aren’t these two just the greatest men on earth huh

Trucy: :) lets make this drowning thing seem like no big deal by playing it off and not even asking if you're okay at all :))))

-

great... now he owes his life to him.... that completely cancels out every other piece of baggage.....

remember........ when edgeworth owed his life to phoenix......... remember how he was 100% okay after that and not fucked up at all................ remember how he just popped back into the series without any changes whatsoever apart from being phoenix’s friend again........................................

-

“GLAD TO SEE YOURE NOT CRYING SON; IM GLAD YOU GREW UP INTO THE EMOTIONALLY STUNTED MAN I ALWAYS WANTED, EVEN WITHOUT MY STELLAR PARENTAL GUIDANCE! THAT LONELY ORPHANAGE MUST HAVE TOUGHENED YOU UP GOOD! HAH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”

-

y’know in the interim i was thinking 

Rebel Apollo would be great. he’d probably be an enormous goofus but at least he’d be happy and maybe Dhurke’s shitty plan would get off the ground because an actual smart person would be part of the team.

-

listen to that fuckin “we solved the case” music.

(sigh)

at least apollo is eating.

Turnabout Revolution... End

heh i wish

-

“Sure wish Nahyuta was here”

I don’t.

-

you fucking morons. you colossal fucking asshats. i knew this was coming

Dhurke: DURR LETS TALK ABOUT THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IN A PLACE WHERE WE KNOW THE GUY WHO WANTS THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IS! WHATS A STEALTH????

This is why the revolution has taken 20 FCKIN YEARS to take off. Because Dhurke and his band of nincompoops are all incompetent fuckwits.

-

huh i can see where Nahyuta gets his magic clap from.

also say it you loser say bitch

say bitch

say bitch

say bitch

-

A) If the “crystal” is a fake thing, his police report probably wouldn’t check out cause I'm P sure that people can’t just file police reports for anything without proof of previously owning it.

B) Dhurke. You’re a rebel. Shoot someone. Throw a smoke bomb. Gently jog away? Idk if that works in America but it sure as hell works in Kooraheen.

-

no. don’t do it. don’t you fucking do––

oh, i just saw a ghost.

The ghost of the potential any sequels past AJ had. It blinked at me sorrowfully before CAPCOM busted it and crammed it into the Containment Unit.

-

(sigh) Ok (most likely) fake shit aside, that would make Atishon related to Maya, and the “heirloom” would more probably be Maya’s. Why is this excuse present at all anyway it’s stupid.

-

Apollo it shouldn’t fuckin matter; it’s a court case. Just prove the orb isn’t the Crystal of Ami Fey and you win the case. You know that Phoenix doesn’t cheat and you’re pretty certain that the crystal really is the Founder’s Orb, so you shouldn’t be upset about anything. This isn’t a murder trial, it’s a dispute over ownership of an item. You know you’re in the right, so you ought to be able to win the trial. There’s literally no stakes apart from the fact that you’re facing your boss... but so what? That can happen... I assume, I’m not versed in that sort of thing. But either way, lawyers sometimes have to face off against each other... it happens. You had to face Nahyuta. Now you face Phoenix. Unless you think Phoenix will cheat, or that you don’t have sufficient info on the orb, then there’s legitimately no fucking problem. I mean yeah, sucks to go to court, but who gives a fuck? Win the trial and skip back to Kooraheen to overthrow the oppressive regime.

-

I don’t 

what is the fucking problem

one of you gets payed, you both work at the same place

it doesn’t matter

-

APOLLO. You KNOW his methods. You know that he wins because his clients are innocent, and would graciously hand over victory if it was clear you were in the right; YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS. YOU’RE HIS BIGGEST FAN, REMEMBER??

Unless you think he’d fucking cheat for a skeezy politician for money in which case, nice. Gotta love that trust and belief that DD was building up there.

“Can I do it? Can I fight him?” YES ITS NOT EVEN A MURDER TRIAL

-

“May the best attorney win” 

well so much for finding the truth or whatever. Also Phoenix should be proud that Apollo is willing to go up against him; it shows he’s coming into his own. There’s literally no reason for them to be on shit terms right now.

-

“A fine mess I’ve gotten you into, son.”

Hey shithead that wasn’t an apology. Also yeah, go on and on about how good a lawyer Phoenix is just to scare Apollo. Brilliant.

-

“The first step of your revolution, huh?”

The first step. 20 years and he’s only just taking the first step. Not the first step to the end of the revolution; the first step to the revolution itself.

-

Welp, we’re off to fight over the possession of an oversized marble in court. Seeya next time i guess...