#someone got snippy with me over teams and I was like. ready to go lay in traffic

[h0neyfreak]

I haven’t been going to bed early enough which means I haven’t been able to get up and go to the gym which means I’m twice as exhausted and also a ball of anxiety and have 0 ability to think or complete tasks which is a problem because my whole job is thinking through tasks

[amazingmaeve]

atelophobia

atelophobia is the fear of imperfection. the fear of never being good enough

request - hello !! i've been wanting to see more sam wilson fics so do you mind if i request a soulmate au one and y/n and sam are frenemies of somesort? 🥺

summary:

y/n and sam haven’t been the best of friends. he always annoyed her and she annoyed him. he hates how snippy she is, she hates how sarcastic he is. however some jokes of his make her crack a rare smile and sometimes he catches that. two people made for each other.

warnings - angst, fluff

word count - 3.2k

a/n - its an au so no endgame/infinity war stuff happened. also no thanos. it’s my first time writing for marvel so go easy on me! also a happy late birthday to sam as well!

marvel masterlist // sam wilson masterlist

“Why did you assign me with Wilson,” Y/N seethed out questioning the man in front of her. Her arms are crossed on her chest with anger burning in her eyes.

The man before her, Steve Rogers, raises an eyebrow at her sudden outburst. Sure the meeting was already done but he didn’t expect her to be this angry about it. Steve thought that Y/N and Sam were getting along better now and this could help them get along even better. But apparently he was wrong.

“I thought you two were okay,” Steve asked, confused in his voice as she rolled her eyes.

She didn’t hate Sam. No one could really hate Sam. But sometimes he got on her nerves and she has a short temper and the conversation usually ends up in an argument with both of them stomping away. Y/N was always serious about the work so no one would get hurt.

So it irked her when Sam would be casually joking while on a rescue mission or a mission in general. While Sam hated how Y/N would never have any fun, yes Sam did take his work very seriously but he wanted to make the time more bearable for everyone.

So when Y/N snaps at him whenever he makes a joke or just laughs in general he gets kinda pissed off about it. She’s just so unbearable sometimes that it increased his anger even more.

For the past few months everything was fine between them. Of course not finding her soulmate was bad. She hated feeling alone while couples scattered across the Avengers tower. Y/N would roll her eyes everytime Wanda asked if she ever wanted a soulmate and she would respond no. She thought that all the time ‘I don’t need anybody’ but deep down she wanted to have someone to love her and to love someone.

At least there were some Avengers who haven’t found the one.

Sam this last month has been growing on Y/N. He’s been more nice and actually funny in her eyes. He would crack jokes at the right time which would make her let a little laugh out much to Sam’s confusion. It was common that Y/N didn’t smile often. But then everything changed.

One mission which was a rescue mission ended up real bad. It was a mission that only her and Sam attended since everyone thought it would be easy. But Y/N turned the corner and had a fist to the face, she attempted to grab the gun she dropped but the guy shot her in her stomach making her lay down on the floor, holding the wound. Blood was seeping out of it fast and she could feel her vision get real blurry.

Y/N thought she would die there on the floor and she was fine with it as long as Sam got the hostages home safe and him safe as well.

But when she felt herself almost get lulled into unconsciousness a figure appeared before her and soon she realized it was Sam. He looked down both halls to make sure no one was coming before kneeling down before her worriedness in his eyes.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Sam reassured, putting pressure on the wound. His words sounded like he was talking far away. Tears quickly blurred her vision as soon she realized he wasn’t going to get the hostages.

“You-you have to…..” Y/N began to say but flinched when Sam put even more pressure on the oozing wound.

“Don’t talk you can’t waste your energy,” Sam interrupted her and then picked her up bridal style and began to walk her out of the building. Y/N flinched and looked back to see if she saw the hostages anywhere but her vision was getting blurred again.

“The-the hostages,” Y/N stuttered though pain and biting into her lip from screaming out in pain.

“There fine I got everyone in there handled,” Sam reassured as they reached out doors and then lifted himself up and flew across the sky towards the Quinjet that got them there. Y/N closed her eyes and hid her face in his neck as her arms wrapped around his neck. Her heart was pounding as pain pulsed through her body. God she hoped the people were safe.

Then out of nowhere Y/N and Sam heard an explosion and Sam turned around to see the building that was just standing there was up in flames and smoke. Before Y/N could do anything she passed out in his arms as the pain began to get too much for her.

When Y/N woke up Steve was there with Natasha and he explained to her that the hostages unfortunately passed because there was the explosion.

Y/N felt tears fill her eyes as she sat up on the hospital bed. Steve and Natasha left to give her some space as she wondered where Sam could’ve gone. If she would’ve been more aware of her surroundings she wouldn’t have gotten shot and they would've got everyone out safe and fine. She failed them. And she failed her whole team.

Of course she was angry with Sam after this, he should’ve left her there so more people could’ve lived. But she was more angry at herself. She couldn’t face Sam or anyone for a few days. Y/N was awkward around Sam and had anger radiating off her while she talked to anyone. So people avoided her.

That’s why she didn’t want to be paired with Sam. She didn’t want to have history repeat itself.

“I’m sorry Y/L/N but you’re going to have to face him someday,” Steve apologized. He saw how affected she was about this and maybe Sam could help her get over it since he was there with her when it happened.

“Fine,” Y/N scoffed, bumping into his shoulder as she walked off to her room to get ready for this mission.

Her heart was beating as she started to get more and more nervous about this whole thing. She didn’t want anyone else to get hurt because of her. She didn’t want anyone to die. So she wouldn’t be having Sam’s jokes or his snide remarks this day, she needs to be on point.

Y/N got all of her weapons ready before walking out of her room and finally reaching the Quinjet where Sam was sitting down cleaning his guns out. Once he heard her enter the room a smirk graced his lips.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Sam laughs, turning around to look at her but only finding her face clenching in anger. His brow furrowed in confusion not knowing what was going on with her.

“Let’s get this over with,” Y/N grumbled, taking a seat and getting all of her weapons in place. Sam snickered at her attitude with confusion all over his face.

Of course he knew that Y/N was upset but Sam thought she was over it by now, but he hasn’t seen her this past few weeks but he heard from Bucky that she was in a horrible mood. Sam sighed before going to sit next her which made her huff out of annoyance.

“Okay what’s your problem,” Sam snapped, turning to face Y/N who had shock written all over her face.

“Nothing,” Y/N lied straight through her teeth, not meeting Sam’s gaze which was burning a hole into the side of her head. She didn’t want to tell him that the reason she’s all broody is because of her own failure.

“I know you’re lying so just tell me the truth so we can at least tolerate each other,” Sam says frustration running through his veins as he rubs his forehead.

When Y/N didn’t respond Sam scoffed.

“Fine let’s just get through this and I’ll talk to Steve about us never going on a mission again,” Sam retorted then standing up and sitting on the other side of the Quinjet.

Y/N looked at him in shock, even though she showed signs that she didn’t like working with him, he was really fun. Now because of her own insecurities and failures she’s going to lose an incredible friend or enemy depends on how you see it. Of course Y/N knew it wasn’t his fault, it was her own. Y/N had to prove that she isn’t this failure that Sam or Steve sees in her.

She saw it in Steve's eyes when she was in the hospital and she believes that she just saw it in Sam’s eyes just now. Deep down she knows she’s a failure and it cuts to her deep to the core to even think about admitting it. The mission she failed just proves it to herself and everyone else even more. God she can’t even do her own job right.

Ever since Y/N was young she was all about being perfect. The perfect grades, the attitude, and eventually to try to be the perfect fighter. Imperfection haunted her as the people in her life, she believed were better than her and sometimes didn’t even like her. Steve usually didn’t talk to her unless it’s work, same with Natasha. Bucky never talks to her, Tony’s too busy in the lab, same as Bruce. Wanda was very sympathetic towards her though since she’s looked through Y/N’s mind. Wanda and Y/N are friends and Wanda is her only friend. Vision was more of an acquaintance.

Sam was different though. She felt the need to prove herself to him. Y/N didn’t know why she felt this since she never felt this towards anyone on the team so why should it matter what he thinks. Sam was an enigma to her, he was an amazing fighter and had this charming personality that made her want to smile but she was too stubborn to do so.

This fear of imperfection ruins things in her life sometimes.

The mission was a success and Y/N gave it her all as she got everyone out okay and the bad guys were all on the way to prison. But it filled that whole in her heart, it didn’t prove anything to her or to anyone.

So whenever she feels frustrated she goes to the gym and let’s all of her frustration on the boxing bag. Y/N is usually here often. She likes to stay fit and it acts as some sort of therapy to her. While she was too busy punching the bag someone entered the room and she didn’t even hear it.

“Damn what did that punching bag ever do to you,” Sam’s voice rang through her ears and she dropped her arms to her side and let out a long sigh before turning to face him. He was in his usual work out gear with a smirk spreading across his lips.

“It broke my heart and dumped a year ago,” Y/N responded, a sarcastic tone in her face as her arms crossed around her chest. Sam let out a laugh at her monotone voice and clearly didn’t seem amused.

“That is the first time I’ve ever heard a joke,” Sam chuckled.

“What are you talking about? I'm a very amusing person,” Y/N let out a tiny smile on her lips.

“Who told you that lie,” Sams’ eyes narrow in confusion.

“Piss off Wilson,” Y/N grumbled wondering why she was joking around with the man. But that conversation caused some butterflies in her stomach. She turned around and bent over to grab her stuff.

When she turned around it showed the soul mark that has been there ever since she turned 18. To Sam’s dismay and his eyes widened in shock as the soul mark matched the same to his on his shoulder. Before he could even mutter a word Y/N left the gym giving him a sarcastic smile.

Sam just stood there in shock. His soulmate has been there all along and he didn’t even notice it. He didn’t know how to feel about it, of course he found Y/N attractive and her attitude was sometimes tolerable. But she made it very clear she was all work and no play. Deep down he knew he felt something for her even before he found out about the soul mate crap.

“Sam you okay,” Steve waved a hand in front of his face trying to get his attention. Sam blinked, rubbing his eyes and nodded at Steve's question.

“Pair me with Y/N for the next mission please,” Sam bluntly asked and shock was written all over the captain's face.

“But you told me last night-,” Steve began to say as he looked at him confused.

“Just please do it and don’t tell her she’ll just get all pissy about it,” Sam asked with a pleading look on his face. Sam narrowed his eyes but nodded anyway.

“Your secrets are safe with me,” Steve promised.

Over the next few days Sam has been trying to talk to Y/N but she always seemed to be in her room and it was clear she didn’t want anyone in there. He needed to talk to her about this, he’s been looking for his soulmate for years and he has to do something about it. Sam’s sure that she has no idea about it since she probably would be more awkward around her.

For her next mission Y/N wasn’t sure who her team mate for this one would be. She was hooping it would be Wanda since she was more comfortable around her than anyone else. Though she wanted to resolve this situation with Sam but was too stubborn to do it.

As she walked to the Quinjet she felt her heart drop as she thought she knew that Sam was going to be there. Even though it was tough to admit she liked Sam’s jokes and his whole persona. He wasn’t even that annoying to her but she has built up so much walls to protect her heart from anyone so she wouldn’t get hurt.

“I thought you didn’t want to work with me anymore,” Y/N stated as she entered the Quinjet and saw Sam sitting there with his leg jittering. He jumped not knowing that she entered the room and relaxed when he saw it was her.

Y/N didn’t blame Sam that he didn’t want to work with her.

“I need to talk to you before we go to this mission okay,” Sam firmly stated, making her eyes furrow as she had no idea what he wanted to talk to her about.

“Okay,” Y/N stated she tried to shake the shock off of her body. She sat next to him since he needed to talk about something. “What do you need to talk about,” She asked fiddling with her thumbs.

“About your soul mark,” Sam softly said resting one of his hands on top of hers making sparks flow through her whole body. It felt weird and she didn’t know. She didn't even know why he wanted to know about her soul mark.

“What about it,” Y/N asked curious as the pad of his thumb rubbed comforting circles on the top of her hand.

“I have the same one,” Sam whispers looking directly in her eyes and at first Y/N thinks this is one of his jokes so she let’s a little giggle out at it. But when he wasn’t laughing with her she looked at him with an un comprehensive look on her face.

“What,” Y/N says as she tries to remove her hand from his but he caught and gave it a squeeze. With a sigh he released her hand and lifted up his shirt to show his shoulder that the soul mark was placed. He bent over the seat he was in a bit to let her get a good look at it.

She was shocked as she stared at his back. Her soulmate was Sam Wilson and man she thought she despised and despised her. Her fingers trailed across the skin and kept staring at the mark. It was identical to hers. Goosebumps fluttered across Sam’s skin as she caressed his skin.

“How,” Y/N whispered as she removed her hand and he sat up straight pulling his shirt down.

“Well everyone’s got a soul mark when they’re born-,” Sam smirked as he started to respond to her question.

“Not like that,” Y/N smacked his arm.

“You’ve been working out haven’t you,” Sam grabbed his shoulder faking a wince. “Okay okay I’ll be more serious,” He put his hands up in defense. “I just can’t believe that my soulmate has been here all this time,” He says in disbelief.

“You don’t want me,” Y/N blurted out as she stood up and walked to the middle of the room as Sam stayed sitting down for the moment. His shoulders slumped as his face was contorted into disbelief.

“And how do you know what I want,” Sam fired back, crossing his arms.

“I just do and you won’t want somebody like me,” Y/N snapped, used her hand and pointed to herself and rested her hand on her heart which was racing.

“Why are you so closed off,” Sam fumed, standing up walking in front of her, his stance matching hers. “Why won’t you let anyone in,” He snapped, glaring at her. He hated the way he was talking to his soulmate but he needed some reasons.

“Because I’m a failure,” Y/N shouted as tears brimmed her eyes. “I couldn’t help those hostages. I don’t even know why I’m an Avenger, I suck so bad,” She ran her hands through her hand and tugged on the roots.

Sam stood there flabbergasted as Y/N turned around and cupped her mouth to keep the sobs in. She knew this was gonna happen, this has been building in her for a long time and it was about time that the volcano exploded.

“You’re not a failure,” Sam says still in disbelief that she would think this about herself. He walked so that he was standing in front of her and cupped her cheeks in his hands. He wiped the tears that fell from her eyes. But she had them closed not wanting to give into him. “You’re one of the most badass women that I know. And even though you can have a snippy attitude I know that you want to help people,” Sam softly says pressing his lips to her forehead making her shiver from the electricity.

“How can you think that I’ve been horrible to you,” Y/N says her voice hoarse from crying.

“I also know how dedicated to work you are and that I can disturb that sometimes,” Sam smiles, removing his hands from her cheeks.

“That doesn’t make it okay,” Y/N nervously chuckles looking up at him as she feels heat crawl all over her body.

“How bout this you make it up to me by buying me a coffee,” Sam bargains a smile plastered on his face.

“Are you asking me out,” Y/N asks, feeling a bit of giddy in her.

“Depends on the answer,” Sam shrugs. She gives him a smile before leaning up and pressing her lips to his and putting her hand on his neck. His hands go to her hips as they stand there and kiss.

The Quinjet flying off breaks the two apart with smiles on their faces. The tears that were once there have been dried away and her heart was feeling better.

“I’m guessing that was a yes.”

[sassooda]

Worlds Away JJK AU / Chapter 23 - Control

w/c - 6,439

               Shoko is standing on the left side of Satoru as he lays unconscious on the medical table. The room is bright under the fluorescent lights, the walls white to match the tiled floor.  “I never thought he would be one to wind up in here…” She looks up to Toji and Nanami, “I can definitely fix him up but are the seals really necessary?”

               “That fucker lost his mind and went after Megumi.” Toji huffs as he looks down at Satoru. He’s still shirtless after using his wings to fly to the scene and then to fly the bastard back to the academy. Blood still on his off-white pants.

               “They are indeed necessary because if he wakes up in that same state, we won’t be able to control him.” Nanami finds himself extremely torn on the idea of sealing Gojo’s powers, he really would rather get through to him if that were possible.

               “So it was that bad, huh?” Shoko switches her gaze to Satoru as she continues to heal him. “This is just a hunch but I’m guessing there are certain levels of your newfound abilities Toji…” She runs her hand across Gojo’s forehead, brushing his hair away, “His infinity doesn’t recognize Elska at all, her transmitted wavelengths of energy disrupt their continuous flow.” She now looks back to Toji. “Did you feel or notice anything different when the attacks landed on him?”

               Toji crosses his arms as he leans against the wall a few feet away, “It did feel different…almost like an additional surge from within packed the extra punch.” Some of his chest muscles twitch as he relives the powerful feeling.

               “Megumi also reported that the exchange happened because Satoru was targeting the city…” Nanami’s voice minimizes knowing that he’s being put in an impossible situation in regards to other’s safety. He’s taking off his tanned suit jacket to become a little more comfortable.

               She walks over to the table that has Elska’s bloodied wing and runs her hands along the metal feathers. “Toji, how are you feeling right now?”

               “I’m fucking on edge what do you think?” Toji didn’t mean to be so snippy, he’s just feeling out of sorts.

               “When was the last time you fed?” Shoko seems to be thinking heavily as she walks across the room for sample scraping tools.

               “Two days.” Toji clenches his fists as he thinks about Elska being in the hands of the enemy.

               “That’s not good.” Shoko is still completely composed after taking in all the information. “I’ve worked with Elska on this in the past, I may be able to create something to hold you over. This wing right here is the key to it all.”

               All three of their eyes take to the wing. Toji winces as his eyes meet it.

               “If I can’t though, you’ll have to feed from someone else…” She looks over to Gojo, “We know his blood suffices for Elska so maybe that would work too.”

               “He tastes like SHIT I am not interested.” The very thought of having to find nourishment through Gojo makes his skin crawl. “Please do what you can but I’m planning on rescuing them.”

               “Her original purpose for being brought to this world was to eliminate Satoru…” Nanami finally chimes in, “…but now we know anyone else like her might hold the same capabilities as well. What I don’t understand is, if there was an entire world of people like this, why choose her when she wasn’t willing?”

               “That is strange, I wonder why as well…” Shoko is now leaning over the wing on the waist high white countertop, scraping away tissue into a petri dish. “I’ll get on this right away Toji, just don’t go losing your cool too!” She winks at him as she applies the lid to the dish and sets it by her row of microscopes.

               Toji is trying his best to remain calm due to everything that has happened but his heart breaks at the thought of the kid and her being in Getou’s hands. “We have to get them.”

               Shoko is now back to healing Satoru, using her energy’s wavelengths to assist Gojo’s reverse technique to improve the rate at which it takes. “I’ve got this covered here if you two have other business to handle.”

               “We are not leaving you alone with him until we know he’s mentally stable.” Nanami’s tone was law in this accord, his mind made up.

               Just then Satoru shows signs of stirring. Toji jumps from the wall and is ready to strike if Gojo isn’t well. Nanami takes a step forward to be beside Toji with the same intent in mind. They all have to turn their eyes from the blinding blue light emitting from the talismans wrapped around his body, acting like restraints to assist the metal ones over his wrists and legs.

               “What…what the…” Gojo’s eyes open slowly as he tries to move his body, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!” Upon recognizing that he’s restrained he’s thrown into a wild reaction, jolting his body around trying to break free. “NOT AGAIN!!!!!!” He roars as his wounds begin to reopen, not having been fully addressed by this time.

               Shoko hurriedly moves back to the side of him and slaps him across the face. Toji and Nanami gasp before charging over to the table.

               “Gojo, what the FUCK do you think you’re doing acting this way?” Her voice is stern, almost motherly as she expresses her disappointment to his recent actions.

               Gojo didn’t feel the pain from the slap but the action was enough to catch his attention. He glares up at her hatefully for a few seconds before his eyes water, following his features softening. “Why…why do you guys have me sealed like this…WHY?” He struggles a little more but not as rapidly as before. “WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS?” He snaps his head over to Toji and Nanami as he fears he’s been betrayed.

               “Satoru, do you not recall trying to level the city?” Nanami is calmly walking towards his friend and even grabs his wrist gently. “You also tried to hurt Megumi…”

               Gojo’s eyes are panicked as he listens to Nanami’s words. He doesn’t recall at first and thinks this is some weird psychological punishment of some sort so he yells like a mad man while flailing in the restraints, throwing his body against the metal table. “I wouldn’t attack Megumi!!! What the fuck!?”

               “But you did shit head, you put my boy in your domain…” Toji’s face is completely burned over with discontent. “I had to break in to get him out.” Toji is snarling at the memories.

               Gojo has a flash of realization as he does indeed remember doing the things he’s accused of. His eyes take to the ceiling, ignoring Shoko to his left and the men in the room. He tears up as he recalls viciously trying to end both Toji and Megumi. “Fuck…”

               “You are far too powerful to lose control like that Gojo, you know better than this.��� Shoko is wiping his tears away as they spill from the corners of his eyes. “You are one of my closest and oldest friends, I know you. What do you think Elska would say to that?”

               Immediately Gojo begins to cry as the overwhelming facts of his Elska and Itadori reclaim his thoughts. “I didn’t mean to… I just…” He takes a second to breathe and control himself, “Getou is going to do horrible things, he already has.” He exhales heavily through his teeth as he looks to Shoko, “I’m sorry…” He then turns his head the best he can to look at Toji and Nanami, “Her wing…he ripped it out of her…” He wails in frustration as he considers his predicament. She is in trouble and he’s once again unable to move. That alone breaks him slightly. “I just want them back…”

               Nanami squeezes his friend’s wrist with concern. “We’re going to get them Satoru but we need your help.” He frowns as he looks over the talismans that are still slightly glowing blue where the kanji ink sits. “You can’t do that again, I probably shouldn’t even risk letting you out of this.” His brow furrows further and he removes his tinted glasses to look into Gojo’s eyes.

               Gojo is clearly agitated by Nanami’s words but understands where he’s coming from. He’s just in an odd post-traumatic state from when he was sealed before. His pain that he was able to ignore from the sudden adrenaline begins to set in. “God damnit, why am I hurting so bad?”

               “I had to put a few holes in you before you stopped you obnoxious cunt.” Toji hasn’t made any effort to come closer now that he sees Gojo speaking, he doesn’t care to offer him any comfort either. “Next time you go after my boy though, that’s it…I’ll fucking kill you. We now know that I can too.”  

               Gojo’s eyes darken as they take to Toji’s direction. He doesn’t appreciate being spoken to like that, he’s still the strongest after all.

               “Toji, that’s not helping but Gojo,” Shoko directs his chin to face her, “You understand the position you’ve put us in, right? We need to know that you’re good before we let you out of this.”

               Gojo grunts and closes his eyes to regain his composure. That collected state of mind almost feels foreign to him as the recent events have skewed time, making it seem like 2 days were actually 2 years. “I get it.” Is all he says

               “Now let me heal you up, it’ll be faster than your own technique that’s not used to healing you.” She smiles at him lovingly, knowing that he has to feel incredibly small like this. She has a lot of love for Gojo, they went through the academy together and have been the right kinds of strange to mesh well in a friendship. She’s also very taken by Elska and Itadori, as people and as scientific anomalies.

               Nanami looks down to Gojo and smirks, “Maybe we need alcohol again.” A little chuckle leaves his lips as he brushes his own hair back. He sees Satoru smile briefly as well and it brings him a little more at ease. “I know you care about them a lot Satoru but we need to go about this as a team. You can’t just go around hurting people, you’re past that now.”

               Gojo’s eyes water slightly to this as he knows Nanami is probably the only person that is completely familiar with Gojo’s evolution of becoming a better man. He knows he messed up severely and also recognizes that if he doesn’t get his shit together soon then they’ll have that much less of a chance to save the two of them. “I know…” He takes in another deep breath, grasping more sanity and the room seems to relax as the talismans finally stop glowing.

               “I do know that they want to enlist Sukuna as one of their own so Itadori might not be as in much danger. Getou hates Elska though which is why I think he did what he did…” Toji looks to her wing instinctually and feels a pit in his chest. ‘Master…” echoes through his ears internally. “Naoya contacted me recently…” He sees Gojo’s eyes dart in his direction, “It was before all of this obviously you dumb fuck. He was asking for my help with making her a Zenin…he doesn’t seem to trust Getou’s intentions either.”

               “They’re both irreplaceable to us and in many ways.” Nanami is now leaning against the metal table with his back by Gojo’s legs. “What of your inside man Toji?”

               “I’ve tried to contact Choso and Naoya both, they aren’t answering.” Toji unfolds his arms and walks to the foot of the metal table, being the last one to surround him. He grabs Gojo’s ankles firmly and says, “Are you going to make me save them by myself you fucking fool?” His mannerisms are unkind but there’s a trace of friendliness as well.

               “I want them back…” Gojo looks to Toji, not acknowledging his hands on his ankles.

Toji may not necessarily like Gojo but knows they have a common goal. “I wish I could say that Naoya would be protecting her but I don’t understand how Getou got ahold of her wing if he was…I actually fear the worst there.”

               “I hate to say it but I don’t think Naoya would’ve allowed that either.” Gojo is trying his best to remain calm as they discuss the severities further. “I know he cares about her, it was written all over his face when we last met.” Gojo proceeds to think of that weird dynamic and situation from when Elska and everyone saved him before. A part of him begins to imagine Naoya wrapping his arms around her protectively and for some reason he’s not enraged by it but feels saddened. ‘God Damnit…’

               “I do know that Naoya and Choso are likely to break away from Getou but he’s strong. If we do succeed in defeating him, then we’ll have to worry about the Zenin clan immediately afterwards.” Toji has since removed his hands from Gojo and is folding his arms again, “But perhaps we can cross that bridge when we come to it.”

               “I’ll kill them all if I have to.” Gojo’s voice wasn’t erratic or even emotional but it disturbed everyone in the room.

               “If you want to make her situation better then you absolutely cannot just fucking kill everyone Satoru, what the fuck is the matter with you?” Nanami is losing his patience, knowing that Gojo is capable of controlling himself but is wondering if Gojo’s just declining to do so.

               “I JUST WANT THEM BACK DAMNIT!” Gojo tries to lift up from the table but his neck will only bend so far while laid out flat causing him to give up and hit the back of his head.

               “Take a few to cool off Satoru. We’re not letting you out until you do.” Nanami is always so forward but knows it’s for the best. Sugar coating this for him won’t do anything but bite them in the ass later.

               “Fuck you.” Gojo is back to staring at the ceiling.

               “I love you too buddy.” Nanami cackles to Gojo’s response. He felt the truth in his words but also understands his friend pretty well, knowing that he’s just reeling in the fact that they lost Itadori and Elska. Everyone is upset about it so he knows Gojo being her protector is especially fueled.

               “Shoko, can’t I at least kill them?” Gojo’s eyes are no longer dark as he shoots them somewhat playfully to her.

               “You crack me up Gojo!” She’s laughing at his deflective behavior as she rests a hand on his shoulder, “No you may not.” She’s serious but is still giggling. “There’s one more thing though…” Gojo is curiously looking to her, “I need some of your blood.”      

               “Well I’m not really in the position to refuse now am I?” He keeps trying to sit himself up as he grows more frustrated with being pinned lying down.

               “It’s for the greater good, I promise!” Shoko smiles to him widely as she decides to hold off on explaining that it’s for Toji. Their relationship still seems pretty tumultuous at the moment.

               “Go ahead then…” Gojo is fighting his anger as he comes to terms with the fact that they’re trying to help. “Do we have any plans in the making? How the fuck do we even find them without Choso?”

               “I’ll work on that angle.” Toji is determined to contact one of them.

               “And I’ll start putting a team together.” Nanami is grabbing his folded suit coat as he seems to be leaving the room. “Can I trust you Satoru?”

               “I’m fine I promise…I won’t attack anyone…” Gojo tries to look over to Nanami but can’t. “Just get me out of this PLEASE.”

               “I’m going to finish healing you first so why don’t you just sit back and relax for a few.” Shoko smiles to him again and is relieved to see that Gojo will comply. “Alright boys, do what you have to do, we’re ok here!”

               Gojo’s eyes meet Toji’s again as the massive man stares him down. He can tell that Toji is still unsure about him and figures there was no getting around that. Instead of inciting more aggression from him though he just scoffs and looks away, not liking the feeling at being to their mercy at all.

               “I’ll be back in a little bit to check on everything.” Toji now goes to leave the room.

               When left alone Shoko grabs Gojo’s hand and holds it with both of her own. “Sweetie, you really have to be mindful, ok? Especially now that we know that Toji can hurt you… I don’t want any of that so please…please just get along alright?” Gojo’s eyes are expressing annoyance but she continues, “I know you miss them and are worried about her but we will get them back.” She now squeezes softly to administer more emotion to him. “She would be devastated if anything happened to you, is that what you want?”

               “I just want to know they’re ok… I need her Shoko. I always have…”

               “I know, I know… and we’ll fix all of this but you’re imperative for the rescue so knock off the villain shit alright?” She now brushes up and down his arm as she feels him relax more. “That’s not you anymore...you have to control it.”

               He tears up again to hearing this, knowing he’s still actually quite evil on the inside but she knows this too. She’s merely asking him to keep himself in check.

               “I will…but when I get my hands on Getou, I’m ripping his fucking body in two.”

               “Now that I won’t argue against, he’s a lost cause.” They both smile at the verbally murderous exchange and he quietly thanks her as he breathes deeply to let her continue her healing.

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               Naoya is heading back to Elska’s room with haste, not liking the idea of her being unguarded for even a second. He holds in his hands traditional styled yukatas threaded by his Zenin blue. He meant to already have clothes ready for her but completely forgot to incorporate that into the design of the room. He remembers how a couple of hours ago she asked him, “So, Naoya? Am I to just remain naked here or what?” She was half kidding but her shaman uniform that she arrived in was completely trashed by that point. He felt so embarrassed at missing such a huge detail, hoping that she knew he didn’t do that on purpose.

               As he walks down the hall towards her room he catches Choso heading the opposite direction. “Cho!” He calls out to see the being halt and turn around. By the time he makes it to Choso, he’s standing a few doors away from Elska’s room. “Hey so how did it go with Ita-…”

               “Naoya, cease your words!” Choso seems on edge and Naoya starts to worry that perhaps their reunion didn’t go as planned.

               “There’s a Titer here, I can feel their technique.” Choso whispers cautiously. “I don’t know what they’re watching or doing… but someone definitely is. We can’t talk right now.”

               Naoya’s eyes widen to this, thinking Getou enlisted one to force Elska’s cooperation and he darts to and through her door quickly. “ELSKA! Are you alright?!”  He runs into the room in a frenzied state but finds her sitting on the couch with a book, unharmed and alone. “Holy SHIT, my heart!”

               “I’m…fine?” Her look is of confusion as she sees Naoya’s demeanor ease and looks at all the fabric he’s carrying. “What is all of that?”

               “Clothes!” He smiles and sets them down on the arm of the couch before going back out into the hallway to look for Choso but he was gone already. He fears he’ll be unable to openly speak to Choso about this now but figures he’ll find a way to communicate with him. He now shuts her door behind him as she’s already standing up and trying to figure out the cloth.

               “You brought me bath robes?” She giggles as she holds up the top one, it looking too large to fit her.

               “They’re traditional in my family and are called Yukata’s.” He smiles as he catches his breath and walks towards her, his anxiousness dissipating. She puts in on around her body, discarding the top silver sheet from the bed that she originally was wrapped in for modesty. He notices that she has not the first clue as to how to wear them. “That’s not at all how it goes,” He chuckles as he lifts the bundle of cloth to remove the under robe from the bottom of the pile the goes beneath it, “You can’t just be nude underneath this!!”

               “Show me the way then Master Naoya” She jokingly offers a bow as she’s interested in learning exactly how to put all of it on.

               He was in the process of wrapping the underwear robe before stopping to her words. ‘She said it…she said it!’ Hearing it felt better than he ever would have imagined, even if was in a different context than his fantasies. Seeing that she was bare he continued to help her with the dressing, smiling widely behind her as he adores this moment.

               “No bra huh? I like this already!!” She places her arms through the sleeves and sees there’s two separate areas on both sides to tie it. She manages to figure this part out but as she’s tying the second knot, his arms wrap around her from behind.

               “I’m so glad you’re alright…” he lowly speaks into her ear as he holds her there.

               “I’ve not had any unexpected visitors if that’s what you’re worried about.” She places a hand on his forearm that’s draped above her chest.

               He turns her around to face him and places a hand under her chin to lift her head towards him. “That’s good, it shall remain that way.” He leans in to kiss her lightly before grabbing the dark blue yukata. He opens it, outstretching his arms, allowing her to slide her right arm in first and then the left. She takes the robes and wraps them around her but he stops and corrects it. “The left side should always be on top, you wrap the right side against your body first.” He smiles as he shakes his head and positions the yukata properly. “Here hold it like this.” He waits for her to pinch the cloth on her right hip before he reaches for the first of two separate ties. “You first secure the robes with this!” He maneuvers the tie around her hips and waist before snugly knotting it on that same side. “You then have to either tie or tuck the rest of it. Now here, lift up your arms.” She does and he brings a second fastening cloth tie around her but this time beneath her bosom.

               “You just wanted to touch me!” She giggles as he shrugs as if to agree but she knows there was more to this than just that.

               “I always do” He finally retorts with kindness in his eyes. “You can put them down for now.” He’s shifting the fabric underneath the ties he’s made so that it overlaps in the front, hiding the fasteners. He then holds one hand on the front of her yukata while loosening the collar, “It’s also traditional to show off the nape of your neck but with class of course.” He creates the slack in the back of her collar and hums to how seductive she is, even with being fully clothed now. His lips meet her nape gently before he circles her again to grab the silver and black two-toned obi. “Typically this would be much more vibrant but these are what I was able to grab on short notice.”

               “This is a lot of work!” She’s amazed by the process and how intricate donning traditional wear is. “I’m not so sure I would’ve figured this out on my own.” She’s laughing as he holds the thick long obi out in front of her, “That’s so long!”

               “That’s what she said” He chuckles at his own joke nervously until she picks up on the meaning. He’s relieved she understood. He hangs and end of the obi over her right shoulder as he ties it from the front. “This goes behind you but if you’re really willing to learn I’ll demonstrate.” He gets down on his knees as he wraps it around her twice. The piece lying over her should now becomes orderly folded three times, to which he then grabs the other end of the obi to wrap it around the fold, creating an extravagant bow. “Now we just twist this behind you…” He’s back up to his feet as he shimmies it to the back. He backs away from her to take in the full view and finds himself overwhelmed with joy. “You look beautiful…”

               She strikes a few little poses for him, finding that this was way harder to maneuver in than her normal clothes. She walks over to the mirror and stands back to see as much of it as she can. Naoya walks behind her and engulfs her body into his arms, them crossing underneath the obi. “Just like a princess…” He whispers behind her as he kisses the side of her head and cheek. He’s completely fine with seeing this for the rest of his life.

               She turns around to face him and lean into the sink. Her hands cup his face as he leans down into her, their lips meeting passionately. The moment their tongues touch she feels her body temperature rising rapidly and her eyes glow through their lids. She feels him abruptly stop and instead of being met with his lustful eyes, she see’s that he looks concerned instead.

He pulls away after noticing the heat and the faintest trail of the scent. “Elska…” He fills his lungs with it while trying to remain focused. “We have to get that under control. It’s not safe for you if we don’t.” His words are almost at whisper volume again and she’s clearly picking up that there’s something more going on than she’s aware of.

“I don’t know if I can Naoya, you set them off randomly for me…” He brings her gaze to his chest as she lays her head against it. She just needs to be near him and loves it when he expresses the same urge.

“Well, we start training today then.” He grabs her shoulders and pushes her back a few inches so he can see her eyes. He’s back to whispering completely, “Getou doesn’t know about the pheromones or how your bite feels, it was an agreement Toji and I made months ago…” His hands start rubbing her shoulders, “If he finds out, I’ll be forced to kill him now…he’ll not let you go at that point.” Naoya wants her of course but knows that if they don’t figure that out soon then he won’t be the only one. ‘Getou knowing would spare her life automatically but at what cost?’ He’s not willing to find out.

“How exactly do we train for this then?” She’s not even sure how to go about that. “Even when I feed from you, it releases sometimes….” The hopelessness on her face is evident as she considers feeding less.

“If you react so rashly to me then maybe I shouldn’t be so handsy.” He immediately withdraws his caressing of her shoulder only to feel cold as he leaves her there standing without his touch.

“But I want you to be, you feel so good to me Naoya…” She’s upset that he’s right even if its not what she wants.

“Let’s try feeding for today then…maybe drink slower or something.” He’s realizing he doesn’t know how to train for this either. He’d probably feel a little more defeated about the whole thing if she wasn’t so pretty before him in his clan’s colors. “You really do look stunning in the Zenin blue.” His hand caresses her left cheek as the words leave his mouth. “I want to give you everything that I am but we have to survive this first my dear…” She nods in response and he feels a little less weighted about the situation.

He grabs her hand and brings her back to the couch as he sits down and guides her above. He’s sitting on something hard and pulls it out from underneath him. It was the book she was reading called ‘Lilith: The Best Mutual written by Nakiich.’ He smiles to her love for books and shifts their weight so can carefully place it on the cushion beside them. “Is it a good read?”

As her legs find their way on either side of him under her, she smiles and explains, “Yes it is! It’s a book that one of my favorite writers wrote about my other favorite writer.” She sees him not fully understanding, “It’s adult stuff Naoya, you’re too young for that.”

He wraps his arms around her and pulls her towards him as she squeals to his soft attack. “I’m pretty sure we’re about the same age my little minx.” He laughs, “You’ll just have to read it for me one day.” He’s still smiling but begins to unbutton his collar entirely so she doesn’t have to worry about working around it. She helps him by finishing the buttons while listening to the silence that’s only weakened by their breathing. When she’s finished he looks up to her glowing eyes and runs his hand up her left arm as she grabs his bicep for stability. “Remember to try going slower this time, we need to see if that’s a variable at all.”

She nods to him before aiming for neck. She stops as her face passes his cheek and pecs him on it before using her fangs to pierce him. His taste instantaneously forces a moan out her like it always does, the perfection that is his flavor has always swooned her. The sweetness of him, the care, the loyalty, his thoughts concerning her… everything was just so attractive.

He tries to hold his moan back but was unsuccessful as her draw from him feels nothing short of incredible. His hands find themselves gripping her thighs as she takes from him. “Go slow baby, we have to figure…figure this out.” He’s trying to remain level headed but is struggling to do so. He hears her whimpers and it causes him to grow beneath her. ‘No no little man…knock that off…’ he thinks as he fights so many urges at once. Her body temperature starts to rise as he feels his bulge nudging her. ‘Shit!’ He pulls her away as she pants above him, blood slowly spilling from his neck. She reaches down to close and heal the wounds and then opens her eyes.

She feels her heat regulating itself as she stares down into Naoya’s. She was close to releasing them but hasn’t fed enough nor is her other thirst quenched. Her physical thirst for him. “Naoya…” Her eyes are half lidded, her voice purposefully trying to entice him.

He looks up to her and hums as he battles himself. Of course he wants to take her to the bed but he’s worried about another incident like before occurring. He barely was able to lie his way out of that situation with Getou and isn’t even convinced that Getou believed him. “Elska… I don’t know if we should yet.”

She disagrees initially and bounces on him a few times, resting herself into his pitched tent. She whines his name again and she can tell he’s trying to hold back.

After her pressing the issue he shifts them both until he’s able to stand, her legs wrapping around him. She grins so widely and leans in to kiss him. He kisses her back but presses her back against the wall near the door. “Once we leave here, I swear by all that is good in this world that I will fill you as many times as you need. Whenever, wherever.” He kisses her cheek as he sees her understanding that he’s not going to have sex with her. “If I am to keep you safe my princess, then we have to be smart…now more than ever.” Her legs slowly release from around him and he sets her down gently onto her feet.

“Naoya, what else aren’t you telling me?” She’s frustrated with him but can’t be too angry. ‘He really does cherish me…’

His face is twisted in anger, “There’s a Titer somewhere on the premises… we don’t know what is being watched but I can almost guarantee it’s Getou using them, trying to figure you out…” He sighs as he engraves this moment into his brain, wanting to use this hatred for the man when the time comes to take him out.

“A Titer?” She knows she’s heard that before but asks him anyways for clarification. ‘That beast is watching us?’

“They’re a clan with mind altering capabilities and more… Gojo used them to manipulate your memories…” His eyes take to the wall beside her as he hates even speaking of that. He feels her hand cupping his face bringing back to face her own.

“That makes sense…” Is all she says while looking at him but her demeanor is still one that’s attentive to him. “Ok…I’ll stop pushing the issue…”

“It’s really difficult to refuse you Elska, I hope you understand how much I detest not making you happy.” He’s noticing that her yukata is already messed up and chuckles under his breath as he goes to reposition it.

“I don’t know how we’ll get through this part,” She laughs, “Because I am dripping over here.”

Naoya sighs heavily to this, knowing that he wants to check for himself but there’s no way that’ll end with anything other than melting into each other. “God damnit…why?” He throws his head back slightly as he tries to refrain from making any moves that may cause him regret. He thinks he has an idea of how to lessen the sexual tension but isn’t sure how to word it. She’s still looking at him caringly, her hands traveling around his arms. “Maybe…and just hear me out…” He feels himself blushing at the words he’s articulating while she curiously waits for what he has to say. “Maybe you should try…ummm…taking care of yourself before I come to see you.” He can’t even look at her and is embarrassed that he just suggested masturbation.

She quickly finds herself bellowing out laughter at how awkward he’s being. She doesn’t mean to tease him but she doesn’t want him to feel uncomfortable either, it was actually a legitimate possibility that could help. “Maybe if I do it to the thought of you.”

He quietly gasps at this and feels that didn’t hinder his erection at all. Unsure of how to react to her response he just looks at her and slowly smiles…he can’t even keep the straight face. “I will carry my weight and do the same…maybe to you as well.” The excitement in his words was painfully obvious to and he is now feeling awe at how easily they can communicate to each other.

“Maybe a bath will help to right now.” She sees his eye twitch after she spoke.

“You…you are killing me right now…” He says this but his vision is already taken by tub. He raises an eyebrow as he wonders if she’ll even be able to get out of the yukata by herself.

“I mean for you to join me Naoya…” She hugs him, resting her head into his chest as she doesn’t want to let him go, doesn’t want him to leave. “I swear I’ll stop trying to seduce you!” She’s back to giggling as this predicament is so strange altogether. She’s technically his prisoner but you wouldn’t guess that by their mutual affections, they seem almost domestic. “Don’t you want me to wash you again?”

“Arghhh, yes…yes I do…” He takes a deep breath to strengthen his resolve as he then grabs her hand and leads her towards the tub to turn on the water. ‘I can do this…no problem…’ He reaches around her to undo the obi, fighting with the damn thing for a minute, even with his expertise. One article of clothing at a time she’s reaching her bare state again. She looks up to him with an attitude as he’s yet to undress himself in the slightest. “Yes ma’am” He cackles as he doffs his own clothes. He feels her eyes scanning his body and although he loves that she’s so drawn to him, he wishes that fate would be less cruel. He steps into the tub as it fills, and holds her hand so she can do the same with ease. It’s such a large one but they seem to have found a single spot that they utilize, it’s the same one from the first bath together. As he sits back completely and follows her with his eyes, she leans over him to reach the small towels behind him tickled by his clear frustration as her breasts range in his face.

She starts with the blood on his neck from where he pulled her away earlier. He closes his eyes as he enjoys the feeling of his intended slowly wiping it away. He feels utterly relaxed as she kneels before him while the water fills their surrounding area. After she’s grazed almost the entirety his body with the towel, she goes to sit in his lap but in a curled-up manner that brings her head to his left shoulder and her knees near his right. His arms secure themselves around her and she begins to settle into him herself, also completely relaxed.

She wonders to herself how long this wonderful time with him will last. She’s tried not to think about the marriage part, she’s barely able to enjoy him without the guilt of knowing Toji and Satoru are probably worried sick. What would they think if they knew of how she spent her time there? She nuzzles into his chest deeper as she tries to forget the anxiety riddling her mind.

“Naoya…” she smiles into him as they soak in the filling tub.

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[stareyedplanet]

Loyalties Lie [01]

beta read by @buckybarnesbeans​ so thanks for that, rae!

warnings: canon typical violence, some language, fluff, angst, slow-burn

Her bow glided effortless against perfectly tuned strings. She had never seen the music before, yet it was as though she had been practicing for weeks. Eyes never settled in one place, hardly paying attention to the notes on the pages before her. There was a much more important task than the music at hand.

“I’ve got eyes on the target,” she said, spotting the exact man she was looking for by the entrance.

“Simmons, do not engage,” a voice responded in her ear.

“Copy.” Simmons replied, her eyes now flicking between the black-haired man and the black notes on the white page.

All was well, at least until the security guard had attempted to stop said target. That was when all hell broke loose.

With the cane he had in his hand, he hit the guard across the face, grabbing one of the scientists attending the event.

The guests were already scared, and their fear only deepened when the dark-haired man shoved something into the scientists eye, a sort of morbid excitement overtaking him.

People screamed and ran towards the exits, and the man just watched, a smirk on his face.

Violin abandoned, Camryn disobeyed orders. Unstrapping the gun hidden underneath her long black dress, she unclipped the safety.

“I’m engaging,” she said hastily, ignoring the protests of the woman on the other end.

“Do not engage! I repeat, do not engage with Loki!”

But it was too late.

“Hands up!” She shouted at the god of mischief.

Loki seemed to comply, but only for a second before his anger was directed at her. She dodged his attacks swiftly, taking a shot, only to watch the bullet stop in midair and fall to the ground.

Loki grabbed her by her throat and slammed Simmons to the ground, her head hitting the floor painfully, stars dotting her vision. The gun was knocked from her hand and she grasped desperately for anything she could use against him.

Her fingers grasped something thin and she recognized it to be a Violin bow. It was all she had so she hit him with it.

It wasn’t particularly painful, but it was effective enough to distract Loki with mild confusion. It gave Simmons enough time to get her feet underneath his body and push him away, rolling out of his reach.

She was back up in an instant, desperately catching her breath.

“Weak mortal. Your attempts are futile,” Loki hissed, glaring at her. She was wasting his time.

Simmons' head was swimming, the lack of oxygen having taken a toll on her body.

“At least I’m one of the good guys,” she bit back.

“Good and bad is subjective. Kneel, and I shall let you live.”

Simmons spit at the god. Her first mistake.

Her second mistake came when she allowed herself to become distracted by her earpiece. It was all Loki needed to grab her harshly by the arm and throw her.

For the second time in the short fight, she found herself face to face with the ground, blood spilling from her busted lip. She groaned, the sound making Loki scoff and walk away from her, leaving her on her own.

“Simmons! Camryn?” The same voice shouted, causing Camryn to wince. “Camryn do you copy?”

“Natasha could you do me a favor and shut the hell up?” Camryn asked, her body still on the ground. She slowly pushed herself up, ignoring the spots that danced in her eyes at the movement.

“What part of do not engage do you not understand?” Natasha asked harshly.

“The do not part?” Camryn suggested, gathering her gun from the ground. “Where is Loki?”

“Outside. Don’t worry. Cap’s got him.”

“Oh, because I was so worried,” Camryn said sarcastically. She had nothing against the Captain, but it got quite tiresome hearing about him every day from Coulson, her supervising officer.

“Just get your ass outside,” Natasha ordered her, a muffled sound occurring as she spoke to someone else.

Running outside, despite her six inch heels and swimming head, it was no difficult task to locate Captain Roger, red white and blue shield flying. Taking off her heels and watching as they released a wire, Camryn tilted her head in consideration of her options.

Loki’s back was turned to her, focused on Rogers. She took a running start and jumped on his back, looping the wire around his neck.

She had shocked both Rogers and Loki, the latter fighting against her. The wire dug into his skin, momentarily cutting off his air flow until he managed to throw her over his shoulders.

“You little pest,” he hissed, his voice scratchy. “I should have killed you when I had the chance, or, I suppose you do have a good heart.”

Loki moved to place the scepter over Camryn’s heart before Captain Rogers hit him away from her. Camryn couldn’t do anything but lay there, her head absolutely pounding.

I’m going to get absolutely so much shit from Natasha and Coulson. She thought to herself.

She closed her eyes, trying to calm the ringing in her ears. She most definitely had a concussion.

“Ma’am? Are you alright?”

Camryn popped one eye open to see none other than Steve Rogers standing over her, his shield fastened securely on his back. He crouched down next to her, offering his hand to help her stand.

Camryn rested her hand in his and sat up slowly, trying not to cause herself to pass out.

“So you’re the inside eyes Fury was talking about?” He asked her.

She nodded, barely.

“Agent Camryn Simmons,” she told him, her voice raw, her throat burning.

Steve blinked. He hadn’t expected the British accent to flow from her lips. His heart ached as he remembered Peggy, and how it hadn’t been that long since he had woken up 70 years into the future.

He regained his composure.

“Well, Agent Simmons, thank you for the help.” Captain Rogers told her. While she may have just gotten hurt, her attempts were valiant in effort.

Camryn snorted.

“I did a shit job. I was improperly informed about what exactly I was up against it seems.” She told him, standing up and wobbling a little. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get on the jet and try not to throw up.”

Camryn took a step forward, only to lose her balance and nearly fall again. Steve had grabbed her before she could, his arms looping under her shoulders.

“Not that I don’t think you can handle it, but do you mind if I get you to the jet myself? You seem to be a little unsteady on your feet.” He told her, remaining as polite as possible.

Steve was truly worried about her health, as he would any agents. It was clear she wasn’t completely okay, and if just walking was a struggle, something was undeniably wrong. It would make him feel better if he knew she was alright.

The young agent waved her hand in approval and Steve carefully led her to the awaiting Quinjet. Loki was already sitting on one of the benches, cuffed. When Camryn boarded, she was immediately met with the disapproving gaze of Natasha.

“Next time I tell you not to do it, you sure as hell better not.” Natasha scolded, coming to Camryn’s other side.

“I feel that with my prior exhibitions of not following orders, it was to be expected. Not to mention, one could blame the fact that I was improperly informed about the nature of the target.”

“Good. Still as snippy as ever. Means you aren’t too broken.” Natasha rolls her eyes. “Still, you're going to the med-team as soon as we get back.”

“Like hell I am. I’m fine. Besides, they’ll just give me an ice pack and send me on my way.”

“Camryn,” Natasha said with warning.

“Natasha,” Camryn sniped back, crossing her arms.

“Just sit down and be quiet.” The woman eventually sighed, taking her place back in the co-pilot’s seat.

Camryn complied for once in her life and sat in the seat furthest away from Loki. She didn’t like the way he stared, and even if she could never truly escape from his gaze, it was more comforting to not be sitting right next to him.

The Quinjet took off and started the lengthy journey back to the Helicarrier. All Camryn could think about was getting into a bed and sleeping. She had been awake for 27 hours and she was exhausted. So she planned to nap on the plane ride. But it seemed the others on the jet had different plans.

“You know, I was wondering where I had heard your voice before. Then I remembered, about a week ago, this woman was in a hurry and ran straight into me. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” Steve asked her, leaning against the wall.

“That was you?” She asked, recalling the memory.

Camryn had been running extremely late for her mission in Germany. She had been given ten minutes before Coulson was due to pick her up, and it was verging on thirty minutes. So she had grabbed her bag, said goodbye to her cat, left a note for her roommate, and ran out the door.

She rushed down the stairs, taking them two at a time before she slammed straight into someone, sending them toppling down a few stairs and onto the landing below. Luckily it was only about three steps, but it hadn’t stopped the man from wrapping his arms around her and cushioning her fall.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” She blabbered as she climbed off of the man. She didn’t even have much time to focus on his features, picking up her bag and glancing as he stood.

“It’s alright. Nothing got broken.” He tells her.

“Well, if anything is I’m in apartment D7. Just bill me. I’m sorry. I really have to go.” She says again, walking backwards down a few steps before turning around and continuing to the lobby of the building, grumbling as she made her way to the car that held Coulson.

“Did you bill me?” Camryn asks, looking up at him.

“What?” He asked, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “Oh. No, I didn’t. It was just my gym bag. Nothing was broken. Though I do understand now why you were in such a hurry. A mission. To Germany?”

Camryn nods. “I was on assignment, and had just finished up when they located Loki. It wasn’t hard to slip me in undercover. No one ever pays attention to who is in the orchestra.”

“Well, that’s a pretty impressive switch. You had only maybe an hour to get ready. We only located him about two hours ago.” Steve comments.

“Yeah, well, it’s the life of an agent. Coulson trusts me. I do what I need to.” She tells him. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve been awake for over a day and I would like some sleep.”

“Of course, Agent Simmons.” Steve nods before pushing off the wall and going to talk to Tony.

Camryn closed her eyes again and rested her head back. She had a very stressful and physically straining job. There was hardly a day in her life when she returned home not exhausted, or sore, or injured in some capacity. But she wouldn’t have it any other way.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been asleep when thunder boomed and shook the plane. She opened her eyes, immediately on alert, something in her gut telling her this was no ordinary storm.

“What’s going on?” She asked.

“Not sure. But it’s putting him on edge. He’s scared of a little lightning.” Steve replied.

“I’m not scared of the lighting, I’m just not overly fond of what follows.” Loki explains, looking pale as he spoke.

“What? Thunder?” She asks with a roll of her eyes.

A loud thud sounded from the top of the plane, causing Camryn to jump. They were in flight. Nothing should be able to land on them, especially not with that amount of force. There is the faint outline of a figure on the top of the jet, entirely shocking to the entire group.

She stood up and grabbed her gun as Steve and Tony put on their respective helmets, preparing for a threat they didn’t know much about. Tony slammed a hand on the button to lower the hatch.

“What the hell?” She mutters, both hands gripping her weapon tightly.

“What are you doing?” Steve asks stiffly.

Tony was about to reply when the figure landed on the ramp, hitting Tony into Steve and causing the both of them to fall backwards, nearly hitting Camryn in the process. She made a split second decision and stepped in front of Loki, gun raised. The man practically towered over Camryn, but wasted no time in roughly shoving her to the side, and on top of Steve who was still trying to recover from his fall. She groaned as she landed, Steve‘s arms shooting out to catch her and soften her fall.

Camryn grabbed her gun that had fallen from her hands aiming for the new addition to their little group. She pulled the trigger, barely missing him as he jumped out of the jet.

“Who was that?” She asked, hoping someone else on this jet had an answer. She moved off of Steve, who had been kind enough to not immediately shove her off of him.

“Another Asgardian?” Natasha suggests.

“Doesn’t matter who or what he is. He has Loki. Which means we need to get him back.” Canryn sighed, rubbing her head to ward off a worse headache.

“Stark, we need a plan of attack.” Steve reasons as Tony walked to the edge of the ramp.

“I have a plan.” He says, turning and looking over his shoulder. The front of his mask clicks into place as he utters the next word. “Attack.”

He flew out of the jet, Camryn rolling her eyes. Tony was going to be a pain to work with. ‘Attack’ was not a plan. It was a reaction. One that ended with more destruction and collateral damage than necessary.

“Well, he certainly has a flair for the dramatic.” She comments. “Now what are you doing?”

“Going after them.” Steve says, strapping a parachute on his back and grabbing his shield.

“I wouldn’t. These guys are basically gods. No offense, but you’re human.” Camryn scoffs. Why were all the men on this jet extremely dumb? At least she and Natasha had some sense.

“Super human, ma’am. And I can handle myself.” He tells her before jumping out of the plane.

Camryn looked to Natasha, her features showing her utter exasperation with what had just transpired. This was putting a damper on her sleep. That’s all she wanted. A chance to sleep in a real bed. Or the poor excuse for a bed that the Helicarrier provided.

“Ten bucks the overload of testosterone causes a lot of damage.” She steps to Natasha’s side, holding on as the woman helped to pilot the jet back around to pick them up.

She grins. “Deal.”

——

🏷 @parkerpeter24​

[thisartemisnevermisses]

Going Under 9/12

Paring: Mostly Steve Rogers x Reader; little Clint Barton x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, out of character acting, probable smutt in later chapters, sad reader, broken, sweet ending.

Summary: You work as head oversight for the Avengers. After a party and a little kiss, you start crushing on Steve. Only an event from you’re rookie years, is sabotaging the possibility of your crush to evovle into something more.

A/N: So were back at the beginning, were it all started in chapter 1. We finally get to know who’s behind all those lies.

Chapter 09: Kill my pain

Your brain is working overtime. It takes little time for you to put the last piece of puzzle together. "Bucky, every mission that went wrong, she was there. Sharon was there. All those missions were in commission of the CIA, of HeR. She wasn't blond in Nevada, because she had been undercover. But she was the second blond on the scene. Lorelei didn't mean you, Steve, she meant Sharon. She’s behind all these sabotages, there’s no other way."

“Steve, what do you think, your very quiet at the moment”, Bucky looks at his friend, a defeated pose forming his body. His head hanging, fist clenched and barely able to hold back the tears. “Hè, Steve, wallowing in self pity can wait we need to solve this, if its true that Sharon has set this up, we need to fix this and clean y/n name.” Bucky shocked Steve’s shoulder.

Looking up with tears in his eyes, he speaks with a hoarse voice,”I'm sorry, I know it’s not enough, but it’s a start. Y/N, I’ve been such a fool. I offended you just hours ago. I feel dumb and such an asswhole. PLease let me make it up to you,” he pleas.

 “Everyone, I would like to start with the meeting”, Tony announces. “As you all know. Our last few missions have had a lot of collateral, in ways we couldn’t imagine”, he continued looking at the faces of his team. It was clear to see that there was a rift between the fieldactive team, known as the Avengers and the analytic team. Each team, sat at one side of the table, creating an invisible border.

“Maybe some people need to do their job better”, Natasha snapped looking at you and your team. You met her Eyes, giving her a warning look, but she wasn’t impressed. “Please, don't do that. It’s inappropriate and disturbed the meeting. Where one team, please keep that in mind”, Tony warns and hands the plans out. “Y/N, you’re up.” “As you can see the overview of the area isn’t changing. There’s a little village nearby, so be aware of travelers. As for the people we’ve been montering, they have pattern –“ you start, but get interrupted by Steve. “It’s the same way you've prepared all those other missions. How can you be sure that this approach works? How can you be so sure, that this mission won't backfire. Do we come back alive, all of us ?”, Steve asks, emphasising his words. Crossing his arms, giving you a questioning look. The grin on Sharon’s face stands more out, than Steve’s staring. How you would love to wipe away that grin.  

“I can assure you that this is the best way for preparing such operations. I would suggest that you look at the bigger picture. You focus on the 4 missions that went wrong, but it’s almost 2 years that we work together and had multiple missions that were a success, with little to no damage”, you counter back at Steve, who’s taken back by your words.

“Steve, let her do her job, she is trying as best as she can. She just gives information, what you do with it on the field, is your decision. You’re the Captain”, Sharon reminds him while giving you a fake smile. Was she indirect trashing you, the grip on your tablet thightens.

“Excuse me, who do you think you are. We don’t just give information, we make sure you have a save mission, multiple ways out, a backup plan for extraction, make sure no civilians get hurt in the process, we are just as many hours up as you. Sure we don’t stand in the field, but we are you’re extra pair of eyes..”, Owen snaps at Sharon.

“Well, how’s that been going.” Clint snaps back. “Look at those missions, we didn’t come back safe, we had wounded team members, a lot of people dying.” he adds his voice raising at the end.

“Look, out of the 60 missions we’ve had you only complain about the four that went wrong. In my opinion that means that 56 missions did go as planned,” Lexi counteracts.

“Those four cost us more, then we gained all those 56, Lexi. You remember, Rumlow, how wounded were our team members, how many civilians died? What about Lorelei, we almost lost Steve and Clint to her”, Sam argues.

“Maybe, some people need to focus on their work, instead of pursuing other teammates”, Natasha remarks, eyeing you. Do you really have the energy to react to that remark.  Nearly two years are you listening to those snarky comments, walking on eggshells and hoping they would ask you your side of the story. When Steve showed interest in you, you hope things would change. But he soon joined the rest of his team.

“WHAT!, she isn't the one pursuing someone, they pursue her! I don’t know what you think about her, but it sure doesn't add up to her but it sure doesn’t add up to her personality. She does her job with the most precision I've ever seen. It’s like she got a sixth sense when it comes to analyzing all the conditions. Her workethick is spot on, her moral compass points the right way, knowing what her strong points are and when to delegate it to someone else. She stays up longer then any of us, she doesn’t sleep until everyone’s save. Your image about her is wrong. Tainted with lies that someone started. What kind of hero’s are you. You’re no hero to me!” Callie angry spoke.

“Hearing you speak of her that way, makes me think you slept with her to. Maybe she got bored and decided to check off the Avengers. Starting with Clint, soon followed by Steve. If we let her, she’s soon in another one's bed.” Wanda snickered.

“You take that back this instant, you make her sound like a slut. Which she is not, not even close. I feel sorry for you thinking that way about someone. Someone who makes sure, your come back alive“, Avery proclaimed

“Let be honest, she slept with Clint, she kissed me, more than once.She made mistakes, more then once, it even caused much collateral and endangered our team. Steve spoke, not even taking a glance at you. You were staring at him, it wasn’t you who initiated the kiss, but him, all those times it was him. Not once did you dare to believe you were worthy for him. Always believing, he was still in love with Peggy.

“There are two in this game. If she ignited the kiss, which I know she didn't, you could have declined and say no if you didn't want to. But I know well that she didn't do it they way you make it sound. That’s very low, it’s beneath the belt, SteVE.” Lexi shouted.

“Well, beneath the belt is something she’s good at”, Natasha smirked, “I think it’s for the best if she left. Seeing that she was involved with Clint and Steve, who knows,

who she will choose next. It’s the team that is falling apart because of this”, Natasha smirked.

“YOU WHAT!” Owen screams, slamming his fist on the table and tipping the chair. With a loud noise.

Tony stands beside you, eyeing your reaction. Thankfully you had listened to Fury and told him the whole story, as soon as you started. He knew what was going on, he even offered to investigate the rumor and speak to his team, about handling the situation.

You had declined it, you didn't want him to interfere and make things awkward. Beside you didn't think that something from your past would hunt you down here.

So you started working and dealt with the situations as they came. Only dealing with them, became more difficult each time. It started out with a glare, but soon evolved into snippy remarks and insults. Living in the compound had become difficult and you tried to go them out of their way, changing your daily routine as much as possible. But resently it had infiltrated your meetings and missions, made working together  nearly impossible. Now a simple briefing, had ended in a fight. Your team against the Avengers.

Standing in front of the bickering crowd, you zone out. You’re done, you can’t deal with it anymore, why do they make it so difficult for you. All you want to do is your job, make friends, maybe even find love. Deciding you don’t want to stay any longer in this room, you lay your tablet down and walk out of the door.

The only person who notices you gone, is Bucky. During this whole meeting, he watched you and your reaction to all the insults and accusations. When you were guilty of all those things, you hadn’t reacted the way you did. You had shot down, didn’t interfere nor answered back in defence, the look on your face said enough. You were tired of the constant walking on eggs, it was time that someone finally listened. With a loud shreesh of his chair, Bucky stood up. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to talk to her”, Bucky announced and walked out the room, slamming the door shut.

The elevator pinged, seeing Tony step out, makes you relieved. Earning a questioning look from Bucky and Steve. "Sweetie, got finally Those two Dorks to listen to you." Hè smiled. "What? You knew about this all the time?", Steve asked agitated.

"It seems I was the only person ready to listen to her. When Fury assigned her to us, he made sure she had someone to talk to”, Tony answer back, an edge to his words.

“My team and Tony kept me standing in all this ruckus”, you swallow hard, trying not to spill anymore tears. “Seeing as nobody would listen to me and kept believing all the lies. And only a few hours ago, you were yelling at me." You look at Steve, guilt and remorse all over his face. “So let me make this clear, you knew all of it?” Steve looking surprised at Tony. “Yes, Steve. I knew all of it”, Tony looks at him, questioning the intelligence of the super soldier at the moment. “That she slept with Clint, too?” Steve asked, trying to define all.

"Yes, STeve, I would advise her to sleep with other people, then birdboy, but yes" Tony raising his eyebrows, getting a small laugh from you. Hoping Steve would stop asking stupid questions. “Why didn't you interfere with what was happening?”, Bucky interrupted Steve who was going to ask another idioot question.

“Because she asked me not to." Tony looked at you. Steve and Bucky turned towards you. "Why y/and?", they simultaneously asked. “Tony knew the whole story, everything Steve, even the little things”, the way you look at Steve shuts him up instantly. “I wanted him to be the person I can comfy in and discuss with what was happening. After the Rumlow-mission and the diagnostics came out clean, we figured there had to be something else that causes this. When Callie found those emails we were sure someone within the team was sabotaging. It wasn’t until Lorelei that we figured it had something to do with me. Seeing that both you and Clint were the only persons she went after. All we have to do is figure out, who is behind this. Putting the pieces together, it looks like Sharon was the one, but I don't know for sure.." you look at the men in front of you. “You think she started that rumour of you and your promotion too?”, Steve asks, looking at you. “Theres only one person, who really knows that. I don't think he’s ready to talk about it", you shrug your shoulders. “I think I am", a voice behind Tony, startles you. Stepping out of the shadows is Clint. Nobody has noticed him exit the elevator. “I am ready to talk, y/n”, Clintlooks defeated at you. “Y/N, as I told you a while ago, I’m truly sorry for this. I was foolish to believe her and let her ruin the friendship we could have had. For some reason she has something against you. With her, I mean....Sharon Carter”, Clint swallows, looking straight at you, hoping you would see the sincerity and truth in his eyes.

[stusbunker]

Less Than Well Received

A Supernatural Fan-ficiton

Featuring: Sam Winchester (x?) Female Reader, Cas, Jack, and Dean

A/N: This is for @bamby0304‘s Triple Threat Challenge. My prompts will be in bold. Angst? Angst. Fluff? A smidge in the middle. Crack? Yep, because I can. Then some more flangst to round it out. xoxo Stu

Masterlist

A6: “Of course, I remembered!”

B4: “Get that thing away from me!”

C9: “What did you just say?” 

Y/N awoke to an eerie quiet, the walls of the Bunker echoing the silence like a forgotten tomb. She shoved her feet into her fleece lined slippers and shuffled down the hall. The hallway lights were on, but the farther she wandered the darkened rooms seemed to increase. Glancing down at her watch she barely registered the five o’clock hour when--

“Mornin’!” A pointed whisper came up from behind. She jolted, shaking free from the clench of fear along her spine.

“Sam! Goddamnit! What the hell?!” She shoved his meaty upper arm in frustration, registering the hurt in his ever-shifting eyes before remembering to lower her voice. “Sorry, it’s just,” she shrugged.

“It’s super creepy when everyone is sleeping or out on a case?” Sam gave a knowing nod, absently rubbing the spot she had hit him. “Yeah, well, this is what we’re used to. I kind of like it.”

“Well, that’s because you were forged in the fire, man. Most mere mortals couldn’t stand this place like this 24/7.”

His lips twitched into a half smile, “Coffee?”

She couldn’t help but return the gesture, it was so rare these days. “Look at you, Mr. Smooth, skirting the topic and going straight for my weakness.”

Sam stood back and let Y/N step down into the kitchen first, “Yeah, well, us former-Hell-dwellers tend to know how to read minds.”

“Oh, Sam, no! I didn’t mean it like tha-”

“I know,” Sam’s head lolled into a slightly reassuring tilt as dragged his hand through his long hair. “How about we leave the playful banter for when we’re both more awake?”

She nodded, tugging the sleeves of her hoodie down over her hands as Sam bee-lined for the coffee maker.

It always seemed to happen, she would be alone with their leader and everything would get awkward, or frustrating or Jack would ask too many questions and she would make an ass out of herself by not giving good enough responses. She just wanted to clear the air, but with Michael out there, with Dean; there was never a good time to do so. She didn’t want to be another helping of shit sandwich on Sam’s plate.

She just wanted to feel like part of the team.

Sam didn’t know why he was so snippy, no, he had plenty of reasons why. But he didn’t know why it was manifesting with uncalled for snapping at Y/N or Jack. He should be focusing on finding  Dean Michael. Not reliving the hurt in Y/N’s eyes when he raised his voice over their modest dinner of energy bars and a six pack. He slammed his eyes closed, trying to hide from the memory. The bed was lumpy, so he shifted, jostling Jack, who was asleep curled away from him. Sam let out a rattled breath.

Another motel, another town, another dead end.

It had been two weeks without Dean and the tension between Sam and Y/N had intensified to the point of Castiel stepping in to mediate. It seemed like even the angel’s good intentions were failing them as he walked into the library to find Sam slamming the laptop closed just to fold his hands in his lap.

“Go ahead, Y/N. Let’s hear what possibly can’t wait,” Sam’s brow pinched between annoyance and confusion.

“What the hell is the matter with you? You shoot down my ideas, you bark orders, you won’t even let me pair off with Jack anymore. What did I do wrong, Sam? Huh? What do you want from me? Do you want me to start saluting, to start calling you Chief?” Y/N was getting louder, the other hunters had noticed and while some quickly left the surrounding areas, a few lingered, watching the drama unfold.

Sam cleared his throat, noting the bystanders in his periphery. “Give us a minute?” He didn’t yell, but the tone made his point. Everyone left. Everyone but Y/N and Cas.

“You have been particularly pointed with Y/N, since Dean--”

“Cas? Look, you can stay, but Y/N just unloaded on me and I need to answer her, before you get to lay into me too. Alright?”

Cas looked to Y/N, she refused to meet his gaze, “I suppose.”

“You’re right,” Sam swallowed.

“What did you just say?” Y/N’s headed whipped up like a jack-in-the-box.

Sam inhaled through his nose, “And I’m sorry. I have been taking out all of my frustration on you.”

“Damn right you have. But that’s not all.” Y/N countered, plopping into the chair in front of Sam, lowering herself to his level. Cas watched quietly, noting the way Sam clenched his jaw against the flow of emotion. “There’s got to be a reason it’s me. Cas has known you the longest and Jack is your family. Is it because I am expendable? That I don’t matter in the grand scheme of your fucking gospels so I get all the bitterness and none of the respect? Newsflash! Still a person.”

Y/N splayed her hands in the air mimicking a camera’s flash before falling back in the wooden chair, one leg draped over the armrest as she waited for Sam to stop chewing his words. He watched her through clouding eyes, his guilt eating him from the inside out. She cut right to the quick and it stung too much to assemble another apology, much less an explanation.

His eyes stayed locked on his hands. “I don’t know what else to say. But, uh, I should go--,” he stood glancing at Cas before walking away. “Need some air,” was left hovering in the stunned space.

Jack strolled into the make-shift gym an hour after the fall out in the library. He didn’t know why everyone was whispering about Y/N and Sam, so he wanted to check on her. He found her beating the crap out of the punching bag.

“You’re angry?”

Y/N tried to ignore the Nephil, but his youthful persistence slowly beat her dwindling adrenaline rush.

“Why are you angry with Sam?” Jack squared his feet behind the bag to hold it steady for her next assault.

“Why aren’t you?” She replied, grunting against the slap of gloves against the bag. Jack’s face contorted in thought, she rolled her eyes. He was still so pure.

“He treats me like shit and isn’t very patient with you these days.” Y/N’s chest heaved, the sweat pooling down her back and between her breasts. She shifted against the sports bra.

“But, with Dean-”

“Dean’s been gone before. More than once, Jack. You know that right?” He nodded, pursing his lips as he remembered all that he had learned about his many dads.

“Sam is trying his damndest, Y/N.” Jack replied.

“That’s a weird thing to hear from you.” Y/N huffed out a single note of laughter, stepping back to grab a drink from her water bottle.

“That’s what Dean said. He said Sam was trying his damndest to court you.”

“He what now?”

“Because of the sex.”

“Sex? Sam wants to have sex with me?”

“That’s what Dean said.”

“Oh crap.”

Jack cocked his head and looked even more confused than ever.

New Year’s Eve in the Bunker was a forced affair. Though drinking hadn’t really wavered in Dean’s absence; the atmosphere had dulled to a lament instead of a celebration. Twenty eighteen was crap, even on the Winchester scale and everyone was ready to start anew.

A few couples had found corners to make insufferable heart eyes at each other, or worse, making out despite the remaining hunters within earshot, watching television or playing cards. Sam had resigned himself to a night in, letting the threat of Michael’s armies linger on all fronts. He was just too tired. And if he were to admit it to himself, lonely. Sam Winchester was usually a giggly drunk, but on that night, the last night of 2018, he indulged.

Sam was getting philosophical as he downed yet another shot, which he chased with a plastic flute of discount aisle champagne. “I mean, in the grand scheme of things. What’s one kiss?”

“Sam?” Cas eyed the large man.

“It’s only what? Five seconds? Nothing to spend a whole year building up in your mind. Five seconds, ten seconds, seconds are seconds. Time is vast.”

“Time is a construct, Sam. If you’re thinking about kissing someone, I think it would be best to get Y/N’s permission first.”

“Y/N? Is she here? I haven’t seen her lately.” Sam missed the angel’s point as he scanned the room from his perch against the war room map platform.

“She’s in her room. She said she just wanted to fall asleep to movies and forget the last year ever happened.” Jack replied, carefully pulling the bottle away from Sam’s reach and handing it to Cas.

“But that’s ridiculous. It happened. You can’t forget it, otherwise you won’t learn from it. I should tell her, right?”

“Tell Y/N what?”

“That.” Sam stood up, unevenly righting his shoulders before glancing at both sets of confused blue eyes. “And I’m going to.” Sam nodded to himself before he strutted determinedly and with a slight lean to Y/N’s room. Jack went to follow Sam, but Cas grabbed his arm.

“I think we’ve intervened enough with those two.”

“But what if she hurts him?”

“We can’t save each other from all pain, but we can be there to help tend the wounds,” Cas explained.

“Y/N?!” Sam half groaned/ half yelled through the locked door, before knocking insistently. “Y/N, Jack told me you’re in there. Don’t forget. Okay? It would be bad if you forget.”

Y/N’s attention was piqued with the sluggish delivery in her general direction. She hesitated for a few seconds before throwing back her covers and shuffling to the door in oversized flannel pants and a ratty tee, her killer NYE ensemble.

“Y/N! Talk to me! Please? Pretty please? Pretty please, pretty girl?” She opened the door before he could make more of a fool of himself. “Hey!” He smiled blindly, dimples sparkling along side his pearly whites.

“What am I forgetting?”

“You’re not! And that’s what’s important.” Sam stumbled passed her and into her dimly lit room, before turning and grasping at her hands. “Look, I know it’s not midnight, but it will be and time is a construct and I just really want to kiss you already.” Sam closed his eyes and leaned in and kissed Y/N hairline.

Once he recovered, Sam pulled back to assess her reaction. She wasn’t angry, but she wasn’t kissing him back. She was, amused? Concerned?

“What?”

“What? Where did me forgetting or not forgetting turn into you kissing me?!”

“So you don’t want to. Cas said to ask and I--” Sam scrunched his eyes closed and internally kicked himself.

“Stop Sam. Let’s just, sit? Yeah?” Y/N dragged him on her bed where he promptly fell back and stared at her ceiling.

“I’m going to die alone. Again.” He mirthlessly laughed.

“How do you go from sappy flirty Sam to morose? It’s got to be some kind of record.” Y/N asked, brushing the hair from his face, he leaned into her palm, relishing in the chill of her smooth skin.

“It’s why Dean never let me get too drunk, because I get chatty and pouty.” Sam sighed, throwing his arms back behind his head.

“Dean didn’t let you? Or you didn’t let yourself?”

“Both. Probably. I’m not sure anymore.”

Y/N took him in, his large arms like wings framing his broad shoulders, tanned firm skin over layers of muscle. He was a beautiful man, but he was also her boss. And had done nothing but treat her like crap lately. If it were another time and place, she could see herself enjoying his kiss. But tonight, she just felt like his minder and not in a sexy way.

“Do you want to kiss me because it’s New Years or do you want to kiss me for me?”

“Both, probably.” Sam muttered, his eyes staying closed as he lay perpendicularly on her bed, his large feet still on the floor.

“Probably doesn’t score you any points tonight, slugger.”

“ ‘Sokay. Shoulda asked, like Cas says.” He scrunched his overly straight nose and began to snore quietly. Y/N sighed, knowing she wouldn’t be able to move him on her own.

“Happy New Year, Chief.”

The next morning at breakfast, which was much more timely a lunch, Sam and Y/N found themselves sitting together in quiet, awkward silence. Castiel had made pancakes with extra bacon, because he remembered Dean always craved grease when he was hungover. The few hunters that lingered near the coffee pot made small talk and plans for their coming cases. Groups ready to get back out there with a hopeful glint that only January first could bring.

Y/N didn’t want to bring up the previous night, but it came glaringly back into focus when a fake sprig of mistletoe suddenly appeared above her head.

She shrieked and batted it away, “Get that thing away from me!”

Jack giggled behind their seats, “I thought you wished for a New Year’s kiss, Y/N?”

“Not now...” Y/N gave the young man a glare that could clear a vamp’s nest, but of course Sam had heard it all.

“Just not from me?” Sam asked in a croaking voice.

When Y/N finally looked back at Sam it was with a pained expression. He gave her a tight lipped nod, tortured but respectful.

364 days later

Dean ordered another round of drinks. “To all those we lost this year!”

The meager group took the shots before them as the bartender poured the next round with both hands.

“To the best damn friend a guy could ask for.” Dean drank again, biting back his grief.

“To Cas!” Y/N replied, finishing the toast.

Sam and Jack shared a sorrowful glance before taking their shots.

The bar filled with shouts as the ball dropped in New York City marking an hour out for the Kansas crowd.

“What a year,” Y/N leaned against the back of Jack’s stool.

“Are New Year’s celebrations always so bittersweet? Or is it just me?” Jack asked as he peeled the label from his beer bottle.

“It’s just the life, Jack.”

“Here’s to more sweet than bitter in 2020,” Y/N raised her glass to clink against Jack’s empty beer and Sam’s untouched one. Sam still looked at her like she hung the moon, Jack thought. But he knew that the moon fell into orbit long before Y/N’s birth. It was just another one of those expressions he found and clung to. The poetry of life, things that Cas would appreciate if he were here to share them with.

Dean sauntered back from flirting with a waitress and wished his small band of misfits goodnight, “Sorry, folks, but this smooth talker doesn’t have to hang around until midnight.”

“Be safe,” Y/N chided, leaning in for a quick kiss on his cheek. Jack joined in on the group hug and Sam chuckled as Dean dragged him in by the collar of his coat.

“Happy New Year, guys,” Dean gave a wink and a salute before he turned to follow his “date” to the door.

An hour and a half later, Sam heard a slight knock on his own door. He threw his shirt back on before opening it to find Y/N. He tried to put his hair back in place when she sighed and then brought her hand above her head. Her eyes closed and she stood silently, the nervous energy radiating from beneath the bundle of greenery.

“I thought you didn’t want my New Year’s kiss.” Sam whispered as his face hovered over hers.

“Well, maybe I don’t want another year like last year. What do you say?” She peeked with one eye, like a child cheating at hide-and-seek.

“Pretty please, pretty girl?” Sam crooned before she jumped into his arms at long last.

Five, ten, twenty; seconds were seconds and it was worth the wait.

They were both grinning idiots when they broke apart, gasping for air, but still trying to close the invisible distance between them. “You remembered your drunken ramblings from last year.”

“It was technically from the year before last, Y/N,” Sam corrected as she rolled her eyes. “Of course I remembered!”

“Happy New Year, Chief.”

His dimples greeted her like old friends.

“Happy New Year, Y/N.”

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