#someone give nadja a break tbh she goes into so many akuma battles to report

[miraculoussage]

like siblings - audimatrix (but not really)

Rating: G Pairings: Marinette & Adrien, Ladybug & Chat Noir (No romance) Length: ~ 3,560 words Type: Episode rewrite (Takes place before Volpina)

♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Tikki was worried about the interview. Sure, she trusted Marinette, but she’d seen TV interviews before and knew just how ruthless interviewers could be. They wanted to drag out information, to push the buttons of the people they’re interviewing to discover their darkest secrets. The more defensive people got, the more it seemed like they were trying to hide something or lying, even if they were telling the entire truth. And Ladybug and Chat Noir couldn’t tell the whole truth, for the safety of the entire city, the entire world. 

“Marinette,” she was saying, her charge half paying attention as she was sewing for her latest design, “I trust you, but you have to remember you’re a superhero, not a star! When a celebrity secret gets out it might ruin their life, or someone else’s life. But for you, and Chat Noir, if any of your secrets get out it could put the safety of the entire world at risk!” 

“I don’t want to say you’re overreacting,” Marinette said, and Tikki waited for the ‘but’. “Buuut, I think you’re overreacting. Just a bit. I know how important keeping these secrets is, and if I were someone that couldn’t keep secrets I would entirely agree with you. But I can keep secrets, I’ve kept this secret for a long time already.” 

“Just... Be careful, Marinette, and don’t let Nadja get to you. I know she’s a kind person, but TV hosts can be completely different once they’re on screen. She’ll try to any shred of something interesting! And for most of Paris right now, that’s finding out your identity. Remember to think before speaking, as if you were thinking of how to word your advice for Adrien.”

Marinette nodded, determination written all over her face. An alarm went off, and she jumped up with a shout. “I’m babysitting today?? I thought that was tomorrow! I have to be at the interview!” 

“Marinette, you’re babysitting Manon. Her mom is running the interview. That’s why she needed you to babysit.” Tikki knew Marinette tried hard to keep times and dates and events straight in her mind, and on her phone calendar and wall calendar. However, Marinette had had to be careful about writing down the date for the interview, so she hid it out of sight. Unfortunately, it was probably too out of sight that she forgot about it, and when she checked her calendar for babysitting availability she thought she was free.

“That... Makes sense.” She sighed, and started to put away her sewing, and Tikki flitted into Marinette’s jacket. Just in time, too, as the rapid tapping of tiny feet was coming up the stairs to her room. “Hi Manon!” Marinette greeted as the girl burst through the trap door, “Isn’t it so cool your mom is going to be interviewing Ladybug and Chat Noir?” 

“Yes yes yes!” Oh no, Manon was probably too excited. While it warmed Tikki’s heart knowing how much Manon loved the heroes, her enthusiasm could be an obstacle to sneaking away for the interview. Marinette couldn’t leave Manon alone, or take her to the interview, and she already knew she couldn’t be in two places at once without causing more problems than necessary...

After wishing Nadja luck and saying goodbye, Marinette called in a favour. Thankfully for her, Alya was more than happy to come over to watch the interview, even with the added excitement of Manon. She’d always insisted that Manon was nothing compared to the twins, even on a good day. 

“Marinette,” she whispered from where she was now tucked into the jacket’s collar, “you should start thinking of an excuse for when Alya gets here about why you won’t be up here with them while you’re in the studio.” Her holder could always use reminders. She felt Marinette nod slightly in acknowledgement, and she let out a sigh. This would be a long night, Tikki could feel it.

♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Chat Noir, always one to make a grand entrance, committed to crawling through ventilation shafts and climbing some walls so he could drop down into the set from above. He even managed to land directly on the couch, and posed comfortably in a split second. “Hi there,” he waved charmingly when Nadja looked up from her tablet. 

The startled host fumbled her tablet, but caught it at the last moment before it could hit the table between them. “Which way did you come in??” Chat Noir opened a bottle of juice from the table, taking a casual sip, letting Nadja sit in an uncomfortable silence with direct eye contact. She may be asking the questions, tonight, but Chat Noir and Ladybug were in charge.

“Secret celebrity door,” he joked, giving Nadja a flashy but merciless grin; he relished in the hesitance settling on her face. He got enough harassment from reporters and paparazzi as Adrien Agreste, the most famous teen model in France, if not the whole fashion world. He wouldn’t let that slide as Chat Noir, where he didn’t have to uphold an innocent and agreeable facade. “I see Ladybug is running behind, huh?”

“I thought you’d be arriving together...” Nadja admitted, unnerved by his assertiveness. 

“Wanna hear a secret?” he said slyly, leaning over the table. “I love chouquettes,” he teased, holding up one of the treats from the table, and sitting back down to enjoy the free food. Not as good as Dupain-Cheng pastries, but he hadn’t had a chance to stop by there today, so this would have to do.

“Is that the sizzling hot information I’ve been promised?” His leather ears flicked at the voice from the earpiece. He assumed he wasn’t meant to hear that, and when Nadja looked up at the booth to assure the producer she’d get better material than that, Chat followed her gaze and shot a hard smile at the producer through the glass. 

He felt a little bit bad for Nadja; Her show would be moved from the best time slot if the ratings weren’t good enough. Still, he wouldn’t give her any false information, Miraculous secrets, something she could manipulate to suggest something else, or anything that could link to his identity. His sympathy led him to dial Ladybug’s yo-yo, though, but she didn’t pick up. He could apologize for this, at least. 

“Sorry, I can’t get a hold of Ladybug.” He popped another chouquette in his mouth; might as well, while they waited. He made small talk about the weather with Nadja, though she kept checking her watch, nervous and distracted. Even Chat started to get a bit nervous; He had a flashback to Ladybug missing Theo’s statue unveiling, and the whole mess that stemmed from that. Not that he could blame her.

“We’re going live in 10, 9...” Ladybug still hadn’t arrived. Chat was preparing to carry the interview himself. “5, 4, 3...” With two seconds to spare, Ladybug made her grand entrance, yo-yoing and even doing a flip to make it to the couch before they went live. 

“I thought you decided to ditch me, LB!” His teasing tone assured that he upset she was almost late. 

“And let the audience down? Not a chance.” She winked with the pun, and Chat grinned. Maybe this would turn out more fun than he thought.

♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Ladybug hid her pounding heart well. Both the hurried trip over and the nerves of trying to get there on had her stomach in knots. Chat Noir’s grin, though, helped her calm down. She smiled back, and then apologized to Nadja for being late. She looked both relieved and nervous, but the relieved smile dropped as a faint sound came from her earpiece and she checked her wrist. She seemed to shake off the nerves, fortunately, and a look of determination lit up her face.

Once they were live, Nadja wasted no time introducing her show and her guests. The pair of heroes addressed the camera and the audience, Ladybug thanking Nadja and them genuinely and Chat Noir playfully flirty as he gave a shoutout to his fans. She rolled her eyes fondly, and took part in the light banter that started out the show.

“The citizens of Paris know what you do, but they want to know who you are.”

“We’ll answer as well as we can,” Ladybug gave her a more serious look, “but there are questions we can’t and won’t answer, for the safety of ourselves and the citizens of Paris, like our secret identities of course.” Chat Noir gave a nod beside her, both of them wearing pleasant smiles once again. 

Nadja gave a positive answer, and led them into video calls from fans. The first was Chloe, and she and Chat both sighed lightly when it turned out she was in Rich and Famous mode, haughty and completely off topic. Nadja hurried to thank her for calling and switch to the next viewer when it turned out she actually had nothing to ask. 

Ladybug stiffened at the next caller, but kept her composure. Alya, rather rudely Ladybug had to admit, asked if she could get an interview for the Ladyblog. “I wouldn’t say no,” she said, “but you’ll have to schedule it later.” She hoped her kind smile satisfied Alya enough, and hoped that she would hang up. Ah. Too late.

“Am I on TV??” Manon’s excited face popped up in the bottom of the frame.

“Manon? But where’s Marinette?” Marinette, sitting across from Nadja, hoped the cameras weren’t on her as she flushed from nerves. 

“She had to go get ingredients for dinner!”

“Uh, yeah! Sometimes it can take a while for her to get what she needs,” Alya assured. 

The earpiece faintly buzzed again, and Nadja ended the call quickly, turning to address the heroes again. “So! Ladybug, Chat Noir. A lot of fans think of you as a couple of superheroes, but also, and I quote unquote, ‘a couple, period’.” 

Ladybug looked at Chat Noir. Chat Noir looked at Ladybug. After a few moments, the blank look crumbled as they both burst out laughing, deep belly laughs, Chat Noir even shedding some tears. It took a bit of time for them to stop laughing and calm down enough to answer. “We’re superheroes and protectors of Paris. We aren’t here to answer personal questions like that.” She was still giggling, and Nadja’s look of complete befuddlement made it harder to stop.

“So- so you’re not a couple? Then how do you explain this??” She pulled up a picture of Ladybug giving Chat Noir a soft kiss on the forehead, though Chat Noir’s lips were black in the picture. He looked shocked, and the living and present Chat Noir looked more confused than anything. He likely didn’t remember anything from being brainwashed like that.

“What, you don’t kiss your friends from time to time?” Chat Noir says with a raised eyebrow, “You have a daughter, don’t you? You must know that not all kisses are romantic.”

Ladybug smiled at Chat Noir’s answer, and turned back to the shocked and confused Nadja to give some context. “That happened on Valentine’s day, when le Dislocœur was changing people’s positive feelings for others into hatred. One of my friends was hit, and insulted me and said mean things, and she’s already in a happy relationship, so it obviously wasn’t restricted to romantic love. As you can see from Chat Noir’s black lips in that photo, he was under le Dislocœur’s influence.” 

Chat Noir nodded at the explanation, confusion melting into understanding. “The way to break the ‘spell’ so to speak, was true love’s kiss, like in fairy tales. Ladybug and I don’t love each other romantically, but we do truly love each other, like best friends or siblings.” He smiled, sharing a fist bump with Ladybug. “Though I will also say, on behalf of both of us, that we don’t appreciate accusations like this. I assume you have more pictures of Ladybug and I that could possibly be misconstrued as romantic. Real fans will know that they can’t believe everything they hear from the media.”

Nadja withered under the scrutiny of the heroes, her earpiece buzzing noisily. It must be the producer or director, unhappy with Nadja’s rumour being shut down so firmly. “I-I see, well, thank you for the clear answer,” the host said, trying to gain control of the questions once again. The device on her wrist was dipping from green into orange, and the lower it went the more nervous she seemed.

For the rest of the half-hour show, (Ladybug and Chat Noir could only commit to so much time), Nadja tried her best to drag out secrets about their powers, embarrassing moments, personal stories or thoughts that could very easily give away who they were. Time after time, Ladybug and Chat Noir had to refuse to answer, or give such vague answers that Nadja didn’t seem satisfied. 

The sounds from the earpiece got more frequent and much louder. All of Nadja’s body language showed more and more stress, the smile she tried to hold straining to stay on her face. Ladybug could see she was almost crying. In an act of mercy, Ladybug pulled out her yo-yo and looked at a random app. “It looks like we have to go,” she said, resting her hand on Chat’s forearm and tapped her finger twice- an agreed upon signal to get each other out of an uncomfortable situation. 

They both stood, thanking Nadja for the chance to show all of Paris their devotion to keeping the city safe. And then they left, Nadja signing off behind them. Once they were out of the building, Ladybug took Chat Noir’s hand and swung them to the top of the studio. “What’s up, LB?” 

“I really do have somewhere to be, but unfortunately that’ll have to wait. Nadja was really distressed, and we have an akuma to find before it reaches her.”

“I’ll look out here, you go back in and make sure it doesn’t reach her. Her producer was saying such nasty things to her through the whole show- insults, threats to have her show moved to another time, more insults...” He trailed off, realizing there wasn’t really much more than that, but the insults and threats were bad enough. “I’ll call you if I catch sight of it.” 

♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

It was a good thing they stayed. When Ladybug got back into the studio, most of the crew was already gone, only a few still putting away sound equipment. Nadja sat in her chair, head in her hands. It was dark, the spotlights all turned off and only a few lights making it just bright enough for people to move around safely. “Nadja,” she said, walking closer.

The host lifted her head, eyes red and widened in surprise. “Ladybug? I thought you had to go.”

“I did. I had someone to save.”

“It didn’t take very long, who was it?” 

“You.” Ladybug smiled, then scanned the room for any evil bugs. “I’m sorry your interview didn’t go as planned, and I’ll take partial fault in that. But Chat and I shared every answer as truthfully as we could.” She crouched down, one hand on Nadja’s shoulder. “There are a lot of things that if we share them, we’ll be put in danger. Anything that can be linked to our secret identities, our families, our schedules, it makes it easier for Papillon to target us. I’m sure you would feel the same, if it were something you had to do to protect your daughter.” 

Nadja nodded, face resting back in her hands, and she sniffled. Ladybug handed her tissues from a box on the table, standing up to sit on said table. “I’m also sorry about the terrible things your producer was saying to you, and the video calls from Chloe and Alya. It wasn’t behaviour that either Chat or I approve of.”

Starting to calm down, Nadja wiped her face with the tissues. “Thank you for saying that, Ladybug, and thank you for coming back.” She wasn’t looking at Ladybug’s face, and Ladybug was glad she didn’t see the glare she gave to the dark coloured butterfly that had approached from behind Nadja. 

“If you’d like, Chat and I would love to give you another interview, one that’s filmed, more directed, and less... gossipy, so to speak. We believe it’s important for us to be able to reach all of Paris with our words, to let every single person know that we’re here to protect them. We also want to share some information and opinions on bullying, harassment, the importance of personal space... Things that some people,” she said, giving Nadja a shared look of annoyance, “need to have a lesson about.” 

She was smiling now, and the akuma had paused. “Excuse me one second,” she said, taking out her yo-yo and walking to the butterfly, purifying it without fanfare. “Papillon is a cruel man. The people of Paris need to be kinder to one another.”

“I agree,” Nadja said, laughing sadly. “Whenever I hear about children in Manon’s class bullying each other, I feel so exasperated. We need to teach our children better, not just individually but as a society. I think our next interview will be a good place to start.” They smiled warmly at each other, and Chat Noir called into the studio to see if they were in there. 

“Over here, Chat. Nadja agreed to film another interview with us to talk about the seriousness of bullying, harassment, personal space, -”

“- Meditation, supporting friends and family, talking about your worries, -”

“- All of that too, yes.”

“Thank you, Ladybug. For giving me a second chance, and some things to consider with regards to my career choices. I’m going to finish getting my stuff together and go pick up my daughter early.” She stood up out of her chair, and offered a handshake to Ladybug and Chat Noir, glad when they offered her hugs instead. 

“I’ll get in contact to schedule the interview.” With a few farewells, they parted ways, the heroes leaving together again. Ladybug checked the time, and gasped. She’d been gone longer than she’d thought. “I have to go!” After a quick hug, Ladybug was swinging away.

♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Marinette slipped into the house as quietly as possible, took ingredients out to start dinner, and then let her footsteps make more sound as she walked up the stairs into her room. She smiled, taking out her phone to snap a picture of Alya asleep on the floor, with Manon sleeping across her back. She gently woke Alya and turned off the TV, picking up Manon and putting her on the chaise with a blanket. 

She and Alya moved to the kitchen, Marinette starting to cook her late dinner. “I’m sorry it took me so long, I saw the interview on one of the outdoor TVs and lost my focus. You know how I get,” she laughed, embarrassed. It wasn’t an unbelievable excuse- she often did get distracted watching something and losing track of time.

“It’s okay, girl, I’m glad you got to watch it, even if it wasn’t with me. And don’t worry about Manon, she watched the whole interview happily and when it ended early she fell asleep. I guess I did, too, huh?” Alya grinned, helping Marinette chop peppers for the stir fry she was making. “That interview was kind of a train wreck to be honest. Did you see Ladybug agreed to an interview for the Ladyblog?? Well, she sort of did, I still have to catch her to schedule it.”

“That’s awesome, Alya! Did the train wreck give you some ideas on what to ask?” She smiled at Alya as she rambled about questions and topics she was already brainstorming; Marinette was glad to get some insider info to prepare Ladybug’s answers. They were interrupted by Nadja knocking on the door. Alya let her in, and Marinette waved from the stove. “Manon is asleep on the chaise upstairs.”

“She loved your interview,” Alya said. “Er, sorry for interrupting your interview to ask for my own interview, I realized right afterward that it was probably super rude of me.” Nadja accepted the apology, vaguely offering Alya the opportunity to do a joint interview sometime. 

After she left with a sleepy Manon, who woke up just enough to say goodbye to the girls before falling back asleep, Alya and Marinette finished the veggie stir fry and sat down to eat. 

“I’m surprised she wasn’t akumatized. She looked like she was about to lose her cool during the interview, but she seemed so much happier when she got here.” Alya put her hand on her chin. “Do you think she did get akumatized, and Ladybug and Chat Noir dealt with it in the twenty five minutes it took her to get here?” 

“That would probably be a new record,” Marinette said idly, not actually answering Alya’s question. “Hey, it’s already pretty late. Do you want to sleep over and practice your interview questions? I can’t promise I’ll make a good Ladybug or Chat Noir, though,” she laughed. 

“Absolutely, girl! As long as you promise not to steal my questions and interview Ladybug yourself.” They shared a good laugh over that, for different reasons, and started a long night of a faux interview.

♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ