#somehow my brain connected the two inseparably even if the two weren't related | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

a-s-levynn · 2 years ago

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For the margin of yesterday: Funny is the feeling when your ideal birthday is forgotten by anyone and basically passes by just any other day but at the same time it kinda feels nice when someone remebers. Like.. yeah that person remembers something about me no matter what it is. But i'm still glad there was no celebration.

#okay i did get myself a piece of cake on the way home and ate it alone #and i still debating if that's a sign of healing or just descent to utter madness finally #i mean i don't know i have a weird dissonance with my bday.. i loved it as a small kid #and then shit hit the fan... and there were no reason to celebrate #and then i got the shit beaten out of me by a family member for asking a question not long before it and #somehow my brain connected the two inseparably even if the two weren't related #also it constantly got forgotten by family and precived friends so yeah it became obsolete and non important #and the family thing mellowed out and some of them started to remember the correct date #and i got friends lately whom i don't question constantly if they like me or not so when when they remember that feels nice #so now it kinda makes me happy when certain people remember it.. but i think i still prefer it just quietly go by #it's easier that way because it's weird and i don't like dealing with it #levynn tries to think

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