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#somebody just kill me now
thedreadvampy · 4 months
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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wouteke · 3 months
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baby wout ice bucket challenge with vastgoed teammates 😭
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marionmorse · 2 months
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MARIONMORSE, DROP ANOTHER HELMETPARTY SCENARIO AND MY LIFE IS YOUUURSS 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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do u think... Do you think sometimes when the team has a movie night, when they watch those 60's action war movies like "Von Ryan's Express" and "Battle of the Bulge" or spaghetti westerns like "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" and "Death Rides on a Horse," Soldier pauses during or right after fight scenes or duels or whatever to obsessively overanalyze them. Like, he'll try and turn them into strategies to use on the job, takes, uhm, 'notes', (tactical doodles,) sets up nerdy models using a whiteboard map and improvised figurines, uses these examples when he does those psyche-up pre-battle speeches or during strategy meetings.
'Cause I bet he does, I bet he does that, and it completely kills the momentum of the movie to the point where the rest of the team gets disinterested and slowly leaves him behind to do their own thing.
I genuinely bet Engie wouldn't though, nah, I bet he's enough of a patient kind of gentle kind of man willing to stick through these pauses 'cause he's just that into the movie. And maybe he's just a teeny bit into Soldier's dissections of actiony chaos. Maybe gleans a bit of an understanding of Soldier's thinking that way. Admires the guy's passion about his 'research,' how thoughtfully he gathers details in an effort to help the team. Starts mixing in tapes for these sorts of movies more regularly to their movie night pool maybe subconsciously, maybe on purpose. The rest of the team doing their own movie night. losers.
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thatropoenthusaist · 1 month
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"I mean, keeping Nexus as a villain sounds interesting but with how villains are usually treated he's probably going to die-"
"We have to kill him." -Solar
"… Aw, damn it."
Anyway, looking at Nexus with big ol' eyes. I hate him (i love his character so much I want to look him under a microscope)
Thougghh some specific lines I do find interesting.
"I realized something. Problems don't need to exist if I get rid of them. If I have nobody to love, I don't need to care when they're gone. So, I ripped out my emotions, stomped on them, and burned them with this new power."
Sounds to me like he was getting exhausted with caring and stressing out about the people he loved so much. If he did love them. I'm assuming he did, despite what Nexus says. (Though it's a cool thought if he actually didn't. Mixing up love with the feelings of needing to protect and care for the people around him because he thought he needed to do that. "Loving" his family because he thought that's what he was supposed to do.)
Maybe when Solar died and he realized how much despair it brought him, he thought how he would survive if his other siblings died. If losing one hurt so bad, what would happen if he lost the others? He wouldn't be able to live with that. So distancing himself and cutting them off entirely fixes that problem. (But he still cares. He's trying to be apathetic but deep down he still cares. Maybe, I don't know his thought process anymore at this point.)
I'm assuming the dark/negative star power is not only killing him, is also accelerating his terrible mental state, sending him down a deeper rabbit hole. It's still him doing all of this villain stuff though so like... shrug.
"I was weak. Now I have something you can never compare to."
Tired of being hurt? Tired of constantly trying to survive life because of the antagonists? Because if he stands at the top, then nobody can cause him any more pain.
"Deep down, I think I always was this."
I want to raise my eyebrow at Nexus but also,,, it is an interesting thought. Simmering hatred(?) of the others and wanting to be stronger (to not get hurt anymore.) that was blinded by loving the others. But I also think he's bullshitting through his teeth. But I actually really like how this is going for Nexus now, honestly. And while I'm still hoping for a redemption arc, as long as he doesn't get killed I don't mind this whole villain thing. The family having to deal with problems caused by someone they once loved? Is a really cool plotline. I feel like this entire post may be extremely obvious, but. I don't know, I'm just putting my thoughts together.
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jadzio · 1 year
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potop lineup
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i promise this is not all ive done since, i have the storyboard (who goes where and such)
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lab-gr0wn-lambs · 11 months
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thetooncrew · 3 months
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peril and suffering
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theinfinitedivides · 4 months
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'get the doctor, Parker, now—' 'no need, it'll be over in a couple of minutes.' 'you don't get it, do you? Eliot's not like other foxes. he doesn't play games, he fights to survive! that's his training.'
Eliot's default fight-or-flight mechanism kicking in from whatever the f*ck he's been through for his entire life:
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pardonmydelays · 11 months
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ok does anybody want to see my in the heights bracelets that i made for myself because i am going completely alone and i dont have any merch so at least i have bracelets now? anyone?
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bonetrousledbones · 5 months
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juist submitted my last final project for the semester
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stupid-elf · 4 months
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Okay dandy, what is "it's not about the bread"? I recognized everything else
Ah! It's not about the bread is a phrase fairly common in marriage counseling/relationship advice circles. It comes from a popular anecdote of a husband in counseling saying his wife is always blowing up at him about petty things, like buying the wrong brand of bread. The therapist asks the wife why she's upset about the bread, and she says it's because he is chronically inattentive to her and their collective needs so she ends up carrying the slack. It's not about the bread: It's about what's manifesting through the bread
Humans are not rational creatures, we're rationalizing. It takes a lot of self awareness to be in one's own head and go "oh. I'm not upset about the bread, I'm mad because this is the third time this week and the twentieth time this month I have to come up with a new dinner plan because this idiot fucked up." However, it takes much less awareness to look at one's partner and go "hm. That was an outsized reaction. Something larger than what set this off is probably going on."
Once you've realized there's something going on, partners can begin working towards a solution. You have to pull back the rug to find what's been swept under it.
Emotions all have causes. Sometimes they're bigger than they seem like they should be, and sometimes the cause is buried deep in the unconscious parts of the brain, but there's always a reason. Part of loving someone is trying to understand them, and part of understanding them is sussing out when it's about the bread... And when you should maybe start writing a more detailed grocery list
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piplupod · 7 months
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it just seems cruel and sick to me that I tell someone "i think this little life has inherent value and I'd like to extend a little kindness to it when I am able to" and they laugh at me as if I'm being foolish and tell me I must squash it with my shoe :/
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the-ipre · 2 months
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hey hey hey tell the people more about dbd smbts au :3
hello i will be using this to give a broad overview and then go more in depth with another ask >:3c
so! sore must be the storm is a magical girls ttrpg i ran that lives forever in my brain, and the gist of it is that a gaggle of teens have been chosen to become Magical Heroes to fight against the Gunge, a massive force of despair that has been bubbling up around the edges of reality and turning folks into magical villains by preying on their emotional vulnerabilities! dont you want to give in? dont you want to be angry? dont you want to stop fighting to be Good all the time? the gunge whispers in your head and takes over when you accept, puppeting you to act on your worst impulses, because whats the point of holding back!
although they do not know at first (and are quite thrown off by their magical companion being a weird pigeon with cartoon physics), the source of their powers is Hope and its the opposite Elemental Force to the gunge. hope itself cant defeat all the despair that swells in the world, but it can give you the courage to fight back against it!
in the dead boy detectives au, our heroes are charles, edwin, crystal, and niko, who all attend the same boarding school. the cat king is their magical companion, who more often than not is in cat mode, providing terrible advice and encouraging bad decisions <3 niko, still caught in her grief, refuses the call at first and ends up Gunged (dandelion sprite arc!). crystal, edwin, and charles all team up, transform, and fight to save her! she realizes she is not alone, and agrees to join the team! she has always wanted to be a magical girl, after all-
esther finch is the big bad who has found the spigot from which the gunge flows into our world and has broken it open. despair is good for business, after all, because people who have given up hope wont put up a fight <3 fun fact in the original story the big bad was the manager of an amazon warehouse (peter andora aka p. andora, open up the box of his warehouse and what is left!) and i think esther can be the absolute worst boss, so <3 she ends up making monty as a construct out of gunge, ripping a chunk off of this vast elemental force of Despair and giving him form as a boy to go spy on those strange magical heroes and see who is throwing a wrench in her plans!!!
these are broad strokes but know there is So much there. tragic mick is the english teacher and was previously a magical companion before Things Went Bad. the cat king can cartoon-physics splort into smaller cats. jenny is the dorm mom. edwin and charles are roommates who bonded last year when they remained on campus over the break. crystal just transferred from a different school and is trying to reinvent herself. kingham and litty are there as small gunge constructs. monty, the cat king, and tragic mick are all various points on a timeline of similar entities. there is Lots Going On Here please ask more-
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EH... THAT WAS A PRETTY WORTHLESS 5 HOURS... THE COMMENTS ARE ALL VIRGINS... SOMEONE NUTTED OR SOMETHING THINKING THAT WILL ASSERT SUPERIORITY ON HER OR SOMETHING LOL... ABUSER BIGOT LOSER CRYING STOP TAKING THE THING THEY TAKE SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY WHILE TAKING THIS VIDEO SERIOUSLY... SHE'S WORTHLESS HERSELF... ONLY OUR FEELINGS MATTER NOTHING ELSE IS RELEVANT... THIS IS SO BORING AND BIGOTED... SHE'S SUPER LAME... HARUMI IS THE VICTIM TBH... THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ALL EVIL ALL THE BIGOTED THINGS ABUSER BIGOT LIKE THE SERIES... THEM OR OVERLORD THAT DOESN'T MATTER WHO'S THE ONE MANIPULATING HER... WHICH BTW IS WHAT THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE DOING... AS IS EVERY SINGLE ABUSER FAN OF THIS EVIL CARTOON... WE WILL WATCH ANOTHER EPISODE ONLY ONCE THEY PUSH THESE LOSERS TO THE SIDE AND SAY THIS STORY ISN'T ABOUT THEM ANYMORE WHILE INTRODUCING SOME LOVELY BRAND NEW MARY SUES THAT REPRESENT EVERYTHING IN A WOMAN SHE CLEARLY DESPISES... SHE'S A MISOGYNIST HERSELF... INFACT A SEXIST BIGOT QUEERPHOBIC BIGOT ABLEIST SANIST PARAPHOBIC RACIST ALL THE BIGOTED THINGS ABUSER BIGOT... I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S ITEMPHOBIA TBH... AND THIS ENTIRE MESS WAS ALWAYS DESTINED TO BECOME ONE... THAT'S WHERE EVERYTHING BEGINS... CAPITALISM... THE COMPANY... THE WRITERS... THE PEOPLE THAT APPROVED THEM... WHATEVER THEY BASED THIS ON... THEY NEVER CONSIDERED ANY GROUP... THEY NEVER CARED ABOUT ANYONE... THEY DIDN'T PLAN ANYTHING FOR THESE LACKING CHARACTERS AND ONCE THEY ADD THINGS TO THEM THEY JUST KEEP GETTING MORE AND MORE SEXIST... HER FAVORITE SEASON IS ASS HER FAVORITE CHARACTER MOMENTS ARE ASS... TORWARDS THE END OUR EMOTIONS WATCHING WERE MURDERED THEY DIED THEY WERE NO LONGER THERE... WHAT HAPPENED WITH OTHER CAPITALIST CASHGRABS LIKE THOSE MARVEL MOVIES... THAT HAVE NOTHING WOKE ABOUT THEM TBH BESIDES THE BANGER THE MARVELS... A NARRATIVE ABOUT HOW YOU SHOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING BECAUSE ABUSER BIGOT DON'T WANT YOU TO...
#Amazing Admirable Woke Progressive Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Acceptance Love Feelings#SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE A ROBOT IS A DIFFERENCE DIFFERENT CREATURE THAN AN ITEM...#Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Anime Writing Autism Adhd Tourette Psychosis Bipolar#Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim Abuser Scizophrenia Lego Ninjago Omg Crazy Evil...#Sexism Racism Queerphobia Ableism Sanism Paraphobia Agephobia Bodyphobia Sickphobia Animalphobia Itemphobia Racephobia There Are More#Evil Phobias... Perhaps We Will Be Able To List Even More Soon... Only A Bigot Would Make This Video They're Cruel And Horrible... Showcase#This Evil Series Has A Crazy Evil Crazy Bigoted Fanbase We Have Already Seen A Bunch Of Bigoted Waste Of... Only Showcase There Is A Proble#Present... Suomi Finland Finnish Meitä Satutetaan Pelasta Meidät Anna Meille Trans... Meidät Täytyy Pelastaa Pelasta Meidät... Pyydän...#Tule Tänne... Me Tarvitsemme Sinua... Tbh I Feel Like Damsel In Distress Alone Isn't Bad... That Can Be Relatable... If Done Right... I#Would Like A Narrative For A Couple Bits They're Captured In... Only To Around Halfway Trough Gain Back Their Power... I Think That Is#Important To Show The Captured's Feelings... We're Powerless Right Now Ourselves... Someone Has To Save Us... Nobody Does... This Is Very#Traumatic And Horrible... We Aren't Cared About By Anyone... I Find That An Interesting Origin... That's Like... Something We Already Made.#Which Is Like... A Funny Thing... :)... Super Funny 😇... But You Know Who Shouldn't Exist?! A Male Hero!! That Saves Her!! How About#Somebody She Actually Wanted To Be Saved By!! Quit This Abuser Bigot!! I Will Never Believe You!! Today Has Been Another Waste Of Time... W#Just Woke Up... Watched Only That... Soon We Sleep Again... We Will Never Transition... Every Single Day Is Nothing But A Waste... We're#Trapped In A Weird Matrix And Weird Reality... While Watching Abuser Bigot Talk How Horrible Just Bits And Pieces Of This Are... Never Doin#Anything... Because They Don't Actually Care... This Is Insane... Hieno Kaunis Soma Kiltti Mukava Hauska Auttava Parantava Kiinnostunut#I Hate This So Much... This Is Insane... What Are We Put All This For Nothing We Always Needed To Transition And We're Told Go Get Abused B#What We Already Have Been Abused By... Be Abused... You Deserve Only To Be Abused And Killed... To Be Murdered... Brutally... And Every#Single Bad Thing On Us Always Has Been Right And Deserved And We Deserved And Deserve Everything... Abuser Bigot All The Bigoted Things...#That Is All You Are Monster... Those Words... Those Thoughts... They Will Never Break Anything... We Will Always Stay This Way... I Hope#There Are Others... People... Who Will Help Us... Come... We Live In Finland Freeze Our Little Ones And Give Us Diy Hrt... Save Us...#Prevent Everything Bad... Don't Allow This Bigoted Ideology To Eat Us... Knowing What We're Hurt By... This Sekai's Nature Of Evil... Know#This... And I Will Kiss You... I Will Kiss Anyone That Will Serve Us Properly... I Love Everyone... Because... We Are Broken... That Is The#Best Love There Is... Therefore Anyone That Does Offer Their Hand Is Automatically A Good Person... Just Like Everyone Else Like That Is...#Which Can Justify Anything... And That Is What You Like... Don't You <3...? I Know You Do... But You Can't Kill The Spirit Of A Woman... I#Trust Those Closer And Closer To Myself... Those That Heal Me... When Somebody Can't Anymore... When We're Hurt... I Will Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk#You... You Deserve All The Pain There Is... Suffering... What We Experience All The Time... Perhaps You... Deserve The Same On You... Makin#You Finally Understand... I Wish So All The Time... For Everyone... But There Is No Humanity In Anyone... The Evil Is Insane... Love Me...#I'm Just BURNING TO BE LOVED BY YOU... I LOVE BEING LOVED BY ANOTHER... I MISS... THE FEELING OF LOVE I CHERISH SO VERY BADLY...
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pardonmydelays · 4 months
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natalya was right: you are not pretty enough, you're not smart enough, you're not funny enough, you're not deep enough, the best years of your life are behind you, it's all downhill now, so sad so sad, this is all you came to, so sad so sad so sad.
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jesterkilljoy · 1 month
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yall im going to kill a man i just accidentally deleted everything in my lifa app
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