#some word aesthetics are like past/present/future/reality/fiction/shadow/illusion/delusion
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4 AM THOUGHTS DON'T MIND ME RAMBLING IN TAGS HGJDKSKS
I WNA WRITE AAAAA
#i know i'll always choose kindness!!!! i'm still a good person at heart#i make mistakes but. guilt tears me apart but i know deep down that i'm human as well n i deserve that#the problem is. this world's not just made of me#there are so much people. and not all of them are as 'good'#and i want to help everyone but i can't.#i'm afraid of being too wrong about my trust n it'll damage me too much and ruin my life#i'm young and i'm fortunate that i haven't really experienced smth on another lvl of Big traumatic#the world's simultaneously bigger and smaller than we think it is#it really is so big though when you also include the world of thoughts and emotions and imagination and fiction and our minds#there's so much more to the world than what we see. it's overwhelming but beautiful#like i wna do smth like that with my story as well#some word aesthetics are like past/present/future/reality/fiction/shadow/illusion/delusion#the world in my head is really big#with how i think i can't personally live the world so simply. my imagination's really big#it feels alone bcs it doesn't rlly seem like many ppl are like me.#who thinks and feels equally as deeply. so attuned to reality and fiction. brain and heart. self and world.#and then also the honesty of sharing it. the desire and resolve to involve it in our connections with others#n then sometimes i really have to remind myself that i'm still very young#as too are the people around me. am i an old soul or are many ppl like this as well but don't rlly talk as much abt it T_T#n then wahh i'm thinking of another thing as well#i think a lot about myself. and other. and that combined#for all three of that i think a lot abt how#like personally for me i cld do anything n everything i set my mind to. but there are things i'd only do 'if you wanted to'#IDK HOW TO PHRASE but when it comes to the ^^ 3rd one there it's like i'm hesitant to just do things for 'myself'#the other person needs to be direct abt it T_T but then while it's important to be considerate abt how others feel#it's important as well to go back to the first point. fuck anxiety just do what you want ( as long as it's kind n stuff like that )#oh god it's nearly 5 am i can't phrase that properly pls don't take it the wrong way 😭😭#but i think that's one thing why i've been distant pretty lately! i think it's important to really find a balance w all that sorta stuff yes#n then i also just rlly wonder abt what we'd all do / have / say / accept as though in a dream. or in a story. hmmm#( dream in a way that smth that reflects on us but we can't control. a story; smth we write. real or fiction? only you wld know )
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