#some progress. I need to learn to let go of some scenes and not stress about the quality as much bc I’m just doing this for fun

[madamadamiu]

Some Ultra Magnus lore thingies to get my thoughts together.

- I don’t know how I’m going to remove Tyrest from the scene(kill him??? arrest him? Have him surrender Mags?) but regardless, losing him was a heavy blow for Ultra Magnus. He didn’t understand why he was in this new place, and why aren’t any of these cats following the rules? It was so baffling and against everything he’d learned that he couldn’t move from his spot. You could nudge him and he would just roll over.

- He would gather up all the toys in the room and line them up, much to the other residents’ annoyance; how come he gets to hog all the toys? Rodimus bowls over his carefully curated line of toys and in that moment, Magnus has his first interraction with another cat in the shelter. He sits on Rodimus, and Rung calls it progress.

- Eventually, Magnus realizes he doesn’t need to abide by Tyrest’s rules anymore and has “zoomies” which looked more like Magnus hopping around in joy. He quickly went to the corner from embarrasment.

- Mags’s relationship with the other cats is that he looks after all the cats. Grooms them, watches them when they’re playing, makes sure everyone is safe. Even Whirl, who stresses Mags out because he’s outside.

- In the event that something scares the resident kitties, they all will run and hide behind Ultra Magnus(and Fort Max). They are strong and will stand their ground against intruders.

- The first time Magnus shed into “Minimus,” Rung thought that he’d gone missing and kept calling for Magnus, but who’s this tiny green cat that keeps responding to it? It wasn’t until he found the pile of blue fur that he put two and two together.

- Magnus doesn’t really purr, or meow, he just stares. However, he is very affectionate towards people he trusts. He’ll headbut and rub up against the legs of people he likes. He will also sit in Rungs lap and let Ravage squish him. He will also make biscuits.

- as Minimus, he’s smaller(duh) but he still wants to maintain order and watch over everyone. It is of course, exponentially funnier to watch a little kitten try to groom a cat 5x his size.

[scimagic]

Any tips for artist tryna improve their art? Love ur art and would love to some tips and tricks of yours! ^^

BOOHOO;; THANK YOU!! THAT'S SUCH A NICE COMPLIMENT TO ME;; Like what do you mean you like what I do enough that you want to hear some tips from me!! DON'T MAKE ME CRY FHDJKSA

I really really tried to make things short for you but I don't think I was very successful dkhkdh but I hope you find them useful!! <3

Tracing (not the stealing kind):

Tracing is not bad when it's used to study, some of my college assignments were copying renaissance artists' sketches! Hell, when I was a kid I used to trace Undertale fanart I liked and look where I'm at fhjkads

When you study other people's styles, you can actually gather a lot of information like line weight or proportions, colors, even stylization. So get your favorite artists' pieces and really look at them for a long time, draw them, then apply what you learn into your own art. Just be careful to not steal or claim something as your own!

Focus on one area at a time:

Now you have to chose one area to practice on. You could tackle on many at a time but I find it easier to pinpoint what I would like to do first and then move on to the next thing.

There's a lot of subjects you can go into like anatomy, rendering, backgrounds, but you just have to find one area in them and get a lot of references.

For anatomy you can go into: muscle movement, figure drawing, body parts in different angles.

Rendering: Shading, lighting, color theory.

Backgrounds: Point perspective, different camera angles, landscapes or detailed room scenes.

Don't overwhelm yourself either! Take one thing at a time!

Dear god get a reference board:

Pinterest really helped me find styles I wanted to study and anatomy tips to incorporate in my art. It really relates to my first point but having an actual compilation of how things look next to you really helps. It also helps keeping them organized like so:

Do The Thing™️ anyway:

I know it's repetitive but it genuinely works you have to trust me, practice does make progress. Stop letting fear hold you back on compositions you think are great or believe you don't have "enough skills yet" to work on them. You will never get enough skills if you don't try.

My college classes forced me to pick up watercolors and paint backgrounds and I learned a lot just from trying it out. Make mistakes!! Have fun! That's how you truly improve on your skills!

Be patient and loving with yourself (and your art!):

I cannot stress enough how important it is to love your art in order to grow. You NEED to learn how to be patient with your art AND your journey because it will never compare to anyone's!! Art is not a competition nor a race, it's a medium to express yourself through a process you like. That's why there's millions of art styles and why each of them cater to a different audience!

Once you do, you can actually ask important questions like "Did I like the process? What can I improve on next time? What's something I liked I want to continue incorporating into my art?", and it helps with self esteem too.

And last but not least:

Have fun!!

Art is a journey of self-discovery, it's not meant to be something that weighs you down or makes you feel bad when you're not working on it. Take constant breaks! No matter how short or how long! If you get tired or incredibly frustrated at it, then it's probably best you take a break from it!

Thank you for listening and supporting me!! I love you!!

[bizarre-bait]

I think i recognize your style, YES that comic Black water right?? How are you been doing?

I loved that comic some years ago, i thought it was in hiatus and the link stopped working

How are you after so long?? :D

“How I'm doing” long story in super short:

I was diagnosed with something that feels more correct to my case then just “general anxiety” 

Complex PTSD is not fun. will not recommend 

I realised a lot of things in my life were straight up not good 

Money in general was always a problem 

With my mental health commission work was making me stress a lot and regular job also not being easy for me  

And with me deciding to go to art and design school to get a degree (don't care about that piece of paper just there to learn mostly and find a job) it was mostly surviving for me in those past few years

BUT good news lately (like the past month) started to get disability pension so things are looking up :D

And with Black Water my beloved~ just like my all of my projects I wanted to be better for them so I deleted it and I working on it on my spare time (the story skeleton rework is not something easy to show progress on) 

+Working on it a a printed comic now and not a web comic so it will take time to get a proper update (it is definitely the THING I will work on after school)

With the old comic I was just not ready to work on the way I wanted

I was young and honestly . . . unwell to be so seen online. in general I kinda fear it wasn't good for me (I was just extremely lonely and sad and trying to ignore my problems)

With the comic I wrote a lot of the dialogue (incorrectly with spelling mistakes) to say almost . . . nothing And my “people pleasing” thingy took over the future storyline in a way that (in hindsight) I as a storyteller I was deeply unhappy with it

Like why the hell did I care to add and break my storyline with random scenes of a ship or character that didn't add anything to the story or just straight up hurt the original vision. Why do I feel like making my characters pleasing? Some of those characters need to be feared or hated or just deeper and complex 

What? just so that one person I don't really know will think it's cool or be ok with that ???

I can't let myself be a fan of my story. I have the job of being its storyteller! it is a not my sandbox to be silly I have a vision that needs to be taken seriously

But luckily my worms in my brain are being treated and I made friends in real life so I feel (a bit) more confident and comfortable with my existence :)

+so cool you remembered me thank you for being here ✨💚

[circlejourney]

How I plan my writing, and then write it: Part 1 of 2

So, ignore the image for now (but not really). I thought it would be funny to start with this visualisation. This chart is specifically about 2 of my stories: Revolving Door and Of the Dragon of the Stars. Both of these novels are in the scale of 300k words or more, so naturally, the ideation and writing process are a bit of a Mess. But before actually going into detail about this "clusterfuck" genre of novel, let me talk at length about my process for shorter novels first.

A few things make Eagles and Swans (the one about an orphaned rebel and the unrest in her country as a banished goddess awakens) and Offshore (the one about two sailors making their last attempt at the most coveted offshore racing trophy in the world) much tamer than the earlier two. First, they follow the points-of-view of just 1-2 characters. Second, they each take place within the confines of a single country / polity, for the most part. Third, the plot events are conveyed in chronological order.

Each important POV character effectively adds an additional story that's being written in parallel. Juggling multiple characters arcs, ordering nonlinear timelines in a way that conveys info in an effective order, AND developing an expansive world, all balloon the story scope. So, thank goodness for stories that require none of the above.

Overall process

I write in three passes, as signified by the three shades of grey in the chart above:

a brief bullet-point outline of the whole story + character summaries

a detailed outline that fleshes out the first outline into a series of chapter hooks / summaries.

the actual novel, first draft.

editing - improving flow and coherence, fixing "telling not showing" etc.

Each stage takes what was in the previous stage and fleshes it out with more detail and more attention to the eventual audience.

Barebones outline

The first pass, for me, is a "thin" outline of major events and major characters' emotional states. It isn't subdivided into sections yet—what I'm really aiming to do is lay out the shape of the story and the rough order of events. A little sample:

Anqien and Jinai prepare for the race in a month's time, the Niro Helfi Race. We are introduced to it through a conversation between the two and/or maybe training or an event for invitees? This race is the biggest in the business! It's a 2000km route in 3 legs Establish that the two MCs are very (almost scarily) skilled, world-class sailors, and simply seem to be underperforming due to unaddressed issues. Internal conflicts established. General structure: ABAB with sailing/non-sailing content

For E&S I actually did this in calendar format, so that I could track the progress of the plot against their school calendar (as well as ensuring that enough time passed between plot events to make it feel like things were developing in the background).

Chapter outline

In the second pass, the outline above gets fleshed out into a backbone of distinct chapters. Not ALL the chapters, only the chapters that need to happen.

At this point I describe 1-2 important events per chapter (except the really important chapters, which get more detailed outlines). What's more important are the characters' takeaways at the end of each chapter - what they learn, or how their feelings evolve. Example (mild spoilers for Offshore):

A bad training day (idk they fall off the yacht from 5m in the air or damage some gear?), we get to see Jinai's stress and resignation and Anqien trying to be positive but visibly affected. The coach gives them an earful about recovery from mistakes They later discuss this and Jinai admits her biggest flaw is giving up too easily. Slice-of-life kind of scene where they go do something stupid/reckless to unwind, and maybe get in trouble

Idea bank

In parallel, I maintain a bank of loose plot points that I would LIKE to include, except I'm not sure where yet. In Offshore, I called them "filler episodes":

Episode: A bit of background about what they do between training Episode: A joyride in a boat. they hire a motorboat from the local boating club and are a nuisance in the rich people area and then head out maybe way too far into the open sea.

In E&S, I maintained a bank of "Chekhov's Guns" that I might bring back later in the plot to create a sense of setup/payoff.

Ruth’s key: unlocks anything, currently lives with Tante. Hyder’s power: to disguise anyone as anyone else. Tante’s knife skills: he’d win any knife duel. And he’s got lots of knives. Tanio’s inventory of inventions: there’s bound to be some stuff there that she can use. Tanio’s meat grinder: grinds meat. Hollia’s job and possessions: an aviary full of birds of all species, including eagles, swans and chickens.

When I come to a point in the novel where I think "something needs to happen here that ISN'T the next groundbreaking plot development," I can quickly whip out one of these concepts.

And now, the actual writing

So now I've got a backbone and a bank of modular content, I come to the moment I've been waiting for. It's worth noting that sometimes the outlining continues to happen even when I start to write, but I do really like to have a finished outline before I start writing the actual prose.

A lot of things happen during the course of writing that I absolutely did not plan for, simply because it's where the story takes me—what instinct tells me would work in the moment. The writing process always surprises me like that, and it's a constant reflexive loop of checking in with what sort of scene/chapter I think would make a good follow-up to the current one, how far to take a scene before closing it off, etc.

The outline is like a leash that keeps the story from flying off course and also a scaffold for when I don't know what to do next. I can check what plot point I need to build towards and then start steering the plot gently in that direction. Then the editing pass is when I'll revisit with a critical eye and link ideas together in a coherent flow, look for the most impactful stopping point for each chapter and prune it, etc.

And longer novels?

So my process for longer stories like RD and OTDOTS is really...an expanded version of the above. Except that the detailed outline can often have multiple levels of subdivision (by volume/story arc -> by location if there are events happening simultaneously in different places -> by chapter), and the planning tends to be more regimental since there's a greater need for the story to feel tight and economical, to maintain momentum.

But there's another post's worth of rambling in that topic, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do at this juncture: put that in its own post.

[angelosearch]

Little life/fic/project update...

I absolutely love my grad program and learning all this art therapy stuff but sometimes the spoon drawer just gets empty even when all you're eating is ice cream, you know?? Definitely hit a bit of a wall yesterday, especially with how stressful/unpredictable my internship has been. I took a mental health night (still had to intern for 5 hours and sit in an hour of traffic) and skipped class this evening... hoping that recharges me at least a little.

I fell behind with Inktober and it doesn't seem like I'm going to catch up. I have two sketches that I might ink and post but if it's between that and writing... I'm going to write.

The next chapter of "Chaos Theory" is in progress. I might finish it this week, but I'll have to see if it feels "complete" after I finish the current scene or if I want to add more. After that there is just two more chapters and the epilogue and two out of three of those I already have extremely strong drafts for!!

The one thing keep asking myself is have I answered all the questions? From watching the numbers I am guessing I have between 60-80 consistent readers (WHICH IS INSANE. And a huge honor!! so happy to share my story!!!!) and I don't want to let anyone down!! If you read CT, please let me know any outstanding questions you have in the story (like 'what's going on with x character?' or 'what's the explanation for this?' etc.). I have room to answer some things I might not have considered, but I need to know what I haven't considered!

Because I am so close to the end of CT, I haven't really touched anything else lately! Here are my rough writing goals looking toward the end of the year:

Finish posting CT before December. If I can, finish writing this month!

Finish writing CT "Rewind." I am about 60% of the way through overall and 50% through the next chapter.

Post at least one more FFVIII The Musical song by Halloween since that's when I started writing it last year.

Finish my Bingo card!

Write and post for my Yuletide exchange.

Write and post "Angelo: Search" (the next installment in the Angelo Combine series)

After that, I will probably try REALLY HARD not to start anything new (at least in the FFVIII fandom) until I finish some of my current multichapters. Update priority as I see it is:

Minute Hand

The Sorceress Awakens (and the rest of the New Beginning Series)

Vessel of Hyne's Grace

FFVIII The Musical

Of course, I have other non-fanfiction things I want to do before the end of the year/January, too. I have some people I want to visit, outstanding art projects, my new year's journal, holiday gifts to make (watch out my friends 👀), AMVs, class/finals... Yeah, so who knows how much of that is possible! Also I have SO MUCH reading to do!!

As always, these posts are more for my planning purposes than anything else!! I love a prioritized list, haha. Please continue your regularly scheduled scroll.

[softsky-daily]

4/13/2025

Vast and endless blue.

Positive thing: I got lots of things done and maintained a good mood all day.

Sleeping in multiple days in a row really works wonders, truly. I woke up and it was like one of those Disney princess scenes where the birds fly in and there's a breeze in your hair and the sun is shining perfectly. I finally had the time and energy to throw away some boxes that had been clogging up my room, I donated the bags of clothes that had also been sitting for about a month, I bought more soap and rice and got my car washed, I had a fruit tea, it was glorious. Conversation Table went well too. I even doodled stuff since I was in such a good mood. And also because OHSHC is still running circles in my mind, but anyway.

It had been a while since I got my car washed. I've had bad luck where every time I finally have some time to try to go to the car wash, I get there and it's out of order. But today my luck changed and the one nearby was actually working for once, so my poor car finally got some TLC. She's been dusty for a hot minute. I also enjoyed watching all the soap and water dance around my windshield.

Ever since I was little I was fascinated with the soap colors. They're very nostalgic to me now.

I also had fun looking for regular hand soap. Our bathroom is Pochacco themed, and most of our decor is blue, so I try to find soap that matches. As a result I've gotten pretty attached to blue soap. I wandered around Bath and Body Works admiring all the different soap names and scent notes. I always wonder how they come up with them. Some of the notes are straightforward sounding, like flowers or citrus, but other times they throw in a "sapphire opalite" or whatever and a big question mark forms over my head.

In terms of the upcoming week, I need to get a move on with my grad portfolio. It's also my last week of internship, and the last week of normal class. Everything is moving so fast and it doesn't feel real. I feel like I need to start solidifying post-grad plans too. Bwah. Can't I just hibernate and not do anything until it's over... I'll take my diploma and then curl up in bed, thanks.

Oh yeah and internship has been slowly falling apart because of shitty new management, and case in point, the manager messaged me to finish a bunch of progress notes where half of them weren't even designated as my responsibility. And the other half I swear I already did? She doesn't even remember my name or thank me or acknowledge me, and I'm not even getting paid for this, plus it's my last week. So honestly I've been tempted to just figure out the business-appropriate way to say "fuck off until you actually start treating your patients and employees like human beings, also learn my name before you ask me to do anything" and then vibe with our patients and let her flounder. I would feel bad since notes that don't get done end up the other therapists' responsibility, but I already heard they're threatening to quit, so lol. lmao even. The manager can learn the hard way that she needs to get her act together or the turnover rate is going to continue to get worse.

But anyway. Life continues to life. Maybe I was in such a good mood this past weekend because our other roommate was out. And all the background stress went away... sigh. I hate saying that someone's very presence is stress inducing, but it's just the truth at this point. I'll keep holding out hope for a maintained peace one of these days.

[unreadpoppy]

song as old as rhyme - chapter 14

{Beauty and the Beast AU - Raphael x OC (Elize)}

chapter 13

Read on AO3

A/N: i hope the dress description made sense because i'm terrible at describing clothes even if i'm looking at a photo reference.

Taglist: @littlemoondarling

@desenhosdebolso

@shyminnie07

@lemonandhoneytea

“This is not going to work.” Elize sighed, letting go of Haarlep, after stepping on their toe for the umpteenth time. She quietly apologized to him, again.

“Oh dear.” They said, sitting down to rub their aching feet. “In other times, I’d say not to lose hope, but this is indeed a dire case.”

“I’m going to embarrass myself.” Elize groaned and laid on the ground, looking up. For two weeks, she had been getting Haarlep’s help, but it was going nowhere. The ball would happen later tonight and, at least in the dance department, she felt she made no progress.

While she stared at the ceiling, she kept wondering: why did she care so much about this?

In the past, she would have avoided Raphael to hell and back, and now she kept looking forward to talking with him. Every time they had dinner together, she ended up learning more about him, discovering he was not all that she had previously thought.

Raphael intrigued her. And she didn’t want to embarrass him or herself in front of others, but in her head, Elize kept thinking of multiple scenarios where everything went wrong. The urge to bite her nails was getting stronger but she resisted.

She came back to reality when Haarlep said “Don’t worry about that. If you keep thinking about what you’ll do wrong, you won’t get to enjoy anything. I mean, Raphael is -”

“If you’re going to finish that sentence by saying he’s awful in bed, I already know it.” Elize cut the incubus off. She did not need another reminder from Haarlep about how their master was a selfish lover.

“Rude.” Haarlep said.

Before Elize could reply, the sound of a portal opening made her sit up and see Raphael walk in. She sighed and once again, laid on the floor.

He raised an eyebrow at the scene. “What in the hells is going on?”

“Elize is stressed because-”

“I can’t do it!” She shouted, suddenly. “I stepped on Haarlep’s feet like ten thousand times by now, my arse is hurting from the two falls I took, this is going to be a disaster.” She sat and looked up at Raphael.

The cambion analyzed the scene for a moment and then let out a laugh. Elize looked at him quizzically.

“If you are having so much trouble, dear.” He walked towards her and offered his hands, helping her stand up. “Maybe I can help.”

Raphael took one of her hands, while she put her free hand on his shoulder. He then placed his other hand on her waist and pulled her close.

Elize blushed and tried to look down but he said “Ah ah. Eyes up.” He started moving them, two steps forwards, two steps back and so on and on. “If you look at your feet, you’ll only get lost.”

Raphael’s gaze was intense and she felt as if he was looking beyond her flesh and seeing all her insecurities. She tried looking at the other people in the room, Haarlep and Mol, but that only made her more nervous.

Almost on cue, he leaned closer and said. “You’re doing good but you need to relax.”

“I just…I’m feeling very vulnerable.” She sighed.

Raphael nodded and stopped, turning towards the others.. “Haarlep, Mol, give us some privacy.” He demanded. Mol tried to protest but Haarlep pulled her along. He snapped his fingers, and music could be heard.

“Let’s try this again.” He approached her again, and bowed slightly, one hand behind his back while the other was offered to her. Elize took a deep breath and placed her hand in his.

“Do not worry about others. All you have to do is follow my lead and enjoy yourself” He said and then they began dancing. This time, Elize focused on the music, allowing it to wash over her. They eventually got to a rhythm so calming that it made her close her eyes momentarily.

When she opened them again, he was smiling at her. “Good.” He whispered and she smiled back.

Eventually, the song came to an end and with it, Raphael dipped Elize, which surprised her. She held onto him, and Raphael forced himself to just look at her face and not downwards.

He pulled her back up, still holding her hands. “I believe you’ll do just fine.” He said, leaning closer. “I left your garment in your room. Go ask Korilla to help you.” Raphael let go of her and then snapped away.

Biting her lip, she quickly walked to her room.

…

The dress was gorgeous.

It was mainly a dark blue color, with golden and red accents,and embroidery. It was long sleeved and the shoulders were slightly puffy. To finish it off, it had a sweetheart neckline, which, Elize quickly noticed when she put it on, accentuated her breasts.

Along with it, there were a pair of earrings, a necklace, shoes and a hairpin.

Korilla had also helped her do her hair, and when it was done, she nodded and said. “You look good. The master will like it.”

Elize blushed. “Thank you.”

There was a knock on the door and Korilla opened it,, revealing Raphael from the other side. The warlock asked her master to leave and she did so, leaving the two alone in Elize’s room. She smiled at him, noticing the way his breath hitched. She also realized that he was wearing the same colors as she.

“I believe everything is to your satisfaction?” He asked.

“It is.” She gave him a small turn. “You have good taste.”

“That I do.” He smirked.

Elize grabbed something from the vanity, her glasses, and walked up to him. “Although, I don’t think these exactly match with the rest.” She finished it by putting them on.

Raphael snapped his fingers. “Look in the mirror.” When Elize did so, she noticed that her sight was the same but she couldn’t see her glasses.

“Did you make them invisible?”

“Clever girl.” He smirked, and then offered his arm. “Now, let us go. I do not like tardiness.”

She grabbed his arm and he snapped both of them away.

[tinyybookclub]

The 3 Heathens: Confronting The Shadows (part 3)

College was supposed to be our fresh start, a chance to leave behind the struggles of our past. For a while, it seemed like everything was falling into place. Ryland thrived on the football field, quickly becoming a standout player. I immersed myself in my studies, joining clubs and working on community projects. Jared, now in a specialized program, was making strides we had only dreamed of. Tina's pride was palpable; we were her success story, proof that her sacrifices had not been in vain.

But the past has a way of catching up, and the cycles we thought we'd escaped began to reappear. It started with Ryland. Despite his outward success, he was struggling to balance the pressures of academics and sports. One night, he called me, his voice shaking. "I messed up, man," he said. "I messed up bad."

He had been seeing a girl, and now she was pregnant. The news spread quickly, and before long, Ryland was called into the dean's office. The school's strict policies meant he was suspended, and his scholarship was revoked. Tina was devastated, and I could see the fear in her eyes—fear that we were falling back into the life she had fought so hard to pull us out of.

I tried to support Ryland, but the stress was taking its toll on me as well. Our father's sporadic appearances became more frequent, as if he could sense our vulnerability. He had always resented our drive to succeed, seeing it as a rejection of his own failures. Now, he seemed determined to drag us back down.

He showed up drunk at one of my campus events, causing a scene and getting me in trouble with the administration. He spread rumors about us in our old neighborhood, painting us as ungrateful sons who had turned our backs on our roots. The weight of his actions pressed down on us, threatening to undo all the progress we had made.

One evening, after another confrontation with our father, Ryland and I sat in the apartment, the silence between us heavy. "We can't keep going like this," I said finally. "We need to face this head-on."

Ryland nodded, but his eyes were distant. "How? We've been fighting our whole lives. I'm tired, man. I don't know how much more I can take."

"We start by breaking the cycle," I said. "We get help. We talk to someone who can guide us through this."

It wasn't easy, but we found a counselor who specialized in trauma and family dynamics. Tina joined us for some sessions, and for the first time, we talked openly about our past. We confronted the pain, the mistakes, and the lingering fears. We learned to recognize the patterns that were holding us back and developed strategies to break free from them.

But as we dug deeper into our trauma, more cracks began to show. Ryland's struggles with becoming a young father and losing his scholarship weighed heavily on him. He took a job, but it barely paid enough to cover his expenses, let alone support a child. His relationship with his girlfriend became strained, leading to constant arguments and stress.

Meanwhile, our father became more aggressive. He broke into our apartment one night, smashing the few belongings we had along with our mothers face and leaving us with nothing but fear and anger. We filed for a restraining order, but the process was slow, and we knew he wouldn't be deterred easily.

Jared, too, faced his own battles. Despite his progress, he was still bullied at school. One day, he came home with bruises on his face, too scared to tell us what had happened. The sight of him beaten and broken tore at our hearts, a stark reminder that our fight was far from over.

Our counselor urged us to stay strong, but the constant pressure was taking its toll. Tina fell ill, the stress of years of struggle manifesting in her body. She tried to hide it, but we could see the pain in her eyes, the fatigue that seemed to weigh her down.

One year later, we gathered once again in our small apartment, now filled with the remnants of broken dreams and unspoken fears. Ryland cradled his baby daughter, a symbol of hope and the future, but his eyes were shadowed with worry. Jared, thriving in his program, showed us his latest art project, his face glowing with pride, yet the bruises were still fresh in our minds. Tina, her eyes filled with tears, raised her glass once more.

"To my boys," she said, her voice steady and strong despite everything. "We faced the darkness and found our way through. We are stronger because of it, and we will continue to rise."

As we clinked our glasses, I felt the weight of the past lift slightly, but I knew the journey was far from over. The future was uncertain, filled with challenges we couldn't yet see. But we were determined to face them together, to break the cycle once and for all.

As we sat there, the silence between us heavy with unspoken fears and hopes, I couldn't help but wonder what lay ahead. The story of our lives was still being written, and the next chapter was just beginning.

(Part 4 posted ✨)

[pinkyjulien]

So- I just had my first Phantom Liberty "ending"... 👁👄👁 I had a lot of thoughts, might be messy and long

⚠ Spoilers ahead, obviously!

Holyshit. HGFHGHFH Where do I even START

I smelled it coming FROM MILES AWAY-- OF COURSE So Mi was somehow- tied to AI, tied to the blackwall, it SMELLED TOO STINKY FROM THE START! Holyshit

Going to share my live reactions that I had in my dev friend's DMS cause those were the raw reactions ghfhgf

I took Reed's side during the Kurt meeting

Of COURSE it would go to shit tho like- man OF COURSEEE she would know...

The Kurt boss battle made me sweat, that man s'quick! AND THE MUSIC... Always felt like it was tied to the voodoo boys somehow? Tho the vibes makes sense, considering it's kind of theeee Blackwall theme-ish

When Reed talks about getting against MaxTac my jaw dropped like-- ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW.......

Also special kudo for this lil thing here I was really happy

Then came the battle against MaxTac- AND AGAIN... What a battle, I legit can't say right now which big fight I prefered outta the whole EP cause they were all so good

The game SLOWLY BUT SURELY got more and more spooky, into straight up TERRIFYING, I did NOT expect that at all, holyfuck!

And it worked SO WELL TOO, of COURSE anything tied to the blackwall would be horrifying

I LOVE horror- horror movie, horror games... But I don't like playing them 🤠✋ Because I'm a lil pussy HGFH who jump, who look away, who let go of the mouse when spooky thing happen

So LET ME TELL YOU When I started to grasp where the game was heading, I shat myself full time

Everything was PERFECT... The vibes, the lights, the set up, the sound design- the music, the different scenes/memories triggering over the place as you progress, just- fucking CHEF KISS

When I thought it couldn't get any better, any spookier- the game kept on delivering, somehow

It got really dark, stressful, gory, haunting

I decided to kill So Mi at the end

Seeing moments of So Mi's past, of how she got there- it was hard to not feel for her, even tho I never really trusted her, too many red flags and manipulation, V was just a token in achieving what she wanted, just like Myers was, just like Kurt was. But she didn't deserves to be kept as a pupet, a tool

The ride with Reed made me feel really numb, and so did the talk with Myers. Sittin with Reed and watchin him walk off in the distance....

I feel empty ghfhgf that one ending didn't felt satisfying at all- BUT I don't mean it in a bad way!! I like it, I think this was supposed to feel like this! So Mi is dead, whatever hope you had to deal with the Relic died with her, Reed wanted to save her, Myers NEEDED her alive- it's a miracle V can even walk it off freely even

-bear with me here as I'm gathering my thoughts as I type everything-

Little tidbits now, I didn't played through all of the new gigs either, so I'm going back to do these, as well as try all the other endings!

Sadly as expected, not a lot- if anything- new for us nomads lover 😞 I liked the cameo of Panam and Carol, sending Paco and Babs to the Aldecaldos to get out of DTown felt comfy too, as well as all the dialogue options! It felt nice to get those opportunities to bring our past! And we did get some crumbs of interesting lore

God and like- what I like the most in games are the Characters, and PL is up there with some amazing peeps! I'll try to rank them from most to least liked

Starting with Alex, probably my favorite of the 5 main! There were a lot of good moment with her, she felt the most... genuine? Might be naive, but I love good hearted, honest characters, and she felt the more "human" out of the bunch even if she did and does horrible things

Second place comes Kurt, man knows what he want and how to get it, can respect that. Wished we could learn more on him actually, maybe I missed a lot of content

Reed was interesting, too secretive for my taste- and that's normal duh he's a spy, but as expected I didn't felt too connected ( and just to be CRYSTAL CLEAR, that doesn't mean he's a bad character! Not vibing with a character doesn't mean they're badly writen or built)

SongBird started off STRONG at the top of my list, but the more she sugarcoated and smooth-talked V into helped her, the more a lot of red flags started to pop. Lot of lines reminded me of similar convo I had IRL with people that turned out to be shitty, so it send off alarms in my head 💀 NOPE...

and finally Myers, who I never trusted and rightfully so

All of them are incredible characters, made me parano on who to trust, who to believe

All of the minor NPCs are so memorable too? I absolutly loved Slider, the voodooboy dude? His design was insane! Loved meeting all of the different peeps during Kurt's party too, and LIZZY'S CONCERT??? AYO... Was simply incredible

This getting PRETTY LOOOONG I'll stop right here but yeah, raw thoughts after 3 days/nights of non stop playing 😩✋ UGGH...

Fucking love this game man. You can really see CDPR took their time with it, fucking nailed it too... Letting go of the last console gen was a good choice, Dogtown is gorgeous, all the visual effects are breathtaking--

I gotta STOP TALKING LMAO. ALRIGHT Back to it I go

AND. I will definitely rollback to a pre-PL save and continue the vanilla content, cause I feel like doing PL just before meeting Hanako gives a lot of interesting options :3

[the-andromeda-effect]

5

Adira’s cheeks flamed bright pink at his flattery, especially because the look in his eye said that he meant it.  When was the last time Mircea had complimented her?  Kissed her hand?  Cheek?  ANYWHERE?  It had been so long since there had been one singular drop of affection from him that she could not remember.  It caused a lump in her throat that was hard to swallow around.  “You are too sweet, Caliban.”  Her eyes dropped for just a beat as she smiled before looking back up at him.

Theron wondered what exactly had happened at the house Adira had been held at and in the car to bring about this little scene that he was witnessing.  That Caliban hadn’t killed her after finding out that she had been abused had intrigued him, but this was something more.  It was nice to see his old friend relaxed and he could swear those were honest smiles.  Maybe making that joke was a better idea than he thought. Only the night would tell as it went on.

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Andros," Theron wore a shit eating grin, "I will assume a prenuptial is not needed.   I will have all legal identification here in two days.  Wedding was a week ago, before the late Mrs. Kalavati was kidnapped.   You really should take her on a proper honeymoon, Caliban.  All work and no play makes the compound get testy." He was having way too much fun with this now.  It was rare that he was there on anything but heavy business, so it would be enjoyed while it could be.

"Theron, you're ruining all my surprises." Caliban said with a wink in his direction. Once his friend had mentioned taking a honeymoon, Caliban thought it would be the perfect time to actually get to know Adira away from the mansion where there were prying eyes and ears at times.

"Oh, that isn't necessary." Adira forgot Theron's warning from earlier. "I'm sure that Caliban has a lot of work plus the expense of it. There is no…"

Once more Caliban cut her off with a finger and a smirk.  He had a feeling he might have fun doing that for a while.  She really was rather adorable with pink cheeks.  "I don't know a vacation away from the stress of work to get to know one another after how quickly our relationship progressed might be better than biting one another’s heads off in frustration or my hurting your feelings.  I'll even let you pick the location.  And please, when has money ever been a concern for me?” He scoffed then leaned forward so he could just whisper next to her ear. “It also will give you some time to relax after all you've been through, my dear."  Theron was definitely getting a bonus, this idea might be genius.  As soon as he'd joked about it, the logic had hit Caliban of why a trip away would be perfect.

"Okay, you two are ganging up on me.” She laughed, her eyes lighting up.  “Tropics?"  He had a point, a good one.  If they were going to pretend the part of being a married couple to give her a cover for suddenly appearing in his life and to help her restart her life, actually having some clue who the other person was would definitely help with that. Learning about one another in a beautiful tropical location was just a bonus.

"In that case, I will make sure to have all of your documents back as quickly as possible." Theron replied.  "I said it should only be two days, and I’ll make sure it is no more than that. Then the happy couple should be able to take off to whatever wonderful location you will be enjoying.  If you need me to fill out any paperwork to make it happen, do not hesitate, Caliban.  I do not want to be the one to hold you up from enjoying away time with your lovely bride." He looked over to Amira and winked, he already adored her.  

Adira looked at Caliban, feeling a little uncertain. It all seemed to have been happening so fast since this morning, but she was glad to be out of the basement. There was something about the way that Caliban was interacting with Theron that told her that she was far safer with these two men than she had been before, possibly even dating back to when she got married to Mircea.  He was offering her a job, he was offering a new name, and he was offering her a start in life. If part of that life was having to pretend to be married to him for a while until they could figure something else out, that seemed like a small trade.

Once the teasing over the honeymoon had ended, the three of them got down to talking about what her role in the company would be, and how she would work with Theron. It would be a lot with him that she would be working. That they got along with great ease did make Caliban feel very relaxed. While he got along with Theron well, not everybody took the lawyer's sense of humor the way he did.

After the trip, she would work in Caliban's office, and Theron would visit as needed for contracts and to accompany her to any negotiation meetings. Until they were sure that she would save from her ex-husband's reach, she would go nowhere alone or be unaccompanied even within their offices. There was very tight security within the offices for their company and even within the mansion, neither of the men were so naive as to believe that they did not have those who might be giving information to people who had competing interests.

Hours passed as they discussed the different details of things that would take place.  Caliban started to notice a slowing in Adira’s responses, and watched.  It had been a while since food had been delivered to her.  Picking up his phone he texted the head of the house staff to ask for dinner to be prepared for the three of them and also for tea to be brought for Adira.  The doctor had said no coffee for a few days, but that tea and water would be good for her.  They may not be actually be married, but that did not mean that Caliban was not concerned for the woman he had just taken into his care.

A few short minutes later, the tea was delivered, much to Adira’s surprise.  She looked over at Caliban, who gave her a warm smile and nodded, causing a bright pink to flush her cheeks once more.  Theron watched the interaction with amusement.  His old friend was not even aware of his own actions, he didn’t think.  Only time would tell.

[ammentcapstone]

It’s hard to believe this is my last post for this capstone journey. Looking back, this project pushed me harder than I expected—creatively, technically, and mentally. It’s been a rollercoaster of hesitation, late-night breakthroughs, revisions, and hard resets. But through it all, I’ve grown—not just as a content creator, but as someone who now understands the mechanics and responsibility of holding people’s attention in a world full of noise.

When I started, I was drawn to the attention economy because I knew it was powerful, but I didn’t fully understand how deep it went. I thought I’d just be analyzing viral videos—like, “Here’s why this got views.” But pretty quickly, I realized this wasn’t just about numbers or clicks. It was about human psychology, behavioral design, and how the smallest content choices can shift the way people feel, think, or act. I walked in thinking I’d study creators. I didn’t realize I’d be challenging my own role in that system too.

Now, I see the attention economy as something way bigger than just trends or platform tricks. It’s about designing content that respects attention instead of exploiting it. Through this project, I’ve learned how to break down the tools creators use—hooks, pacing, narrative structure, emotional cues—and apply them with intention. What started as a simple video series turned into a full-blown creative practicum rooted in storytelling, strategy, and self-awareness. I’m proud that the work I made isn’t just entertaining, but also thoughtful and technically sound.

I learned that I can adapt fast. That I can pivot when something isn’t working. That I don’t need to have it all figured out in the first draft—as long as I’m willing to show up, refine, and stay honest with myself during the process. I used to over-plan, trying to “perfect” everything before hitting record. But this project taught me that progress beats perfection, and sometimes the best ideas happen when I let go of the plan and just create. I also learned that I actually enjoy editing way more than I thought I did—and that scripting isn’t just about writing, it’s about orchestrating attention second by second.

The biggest thing I learned is that creativity and production don’t always happen at the same pace—and that’s okay. Some weeks were all about planning and research. Others were deep in editing mode or reshooting scenes I thought were done. I realized how important momentum is. Once I got going, it was easier to stay in flow. But I also saw how slowing down at the right moment—like reviewing drafts or reworking a script—can lead to way better results. Production is never linear, and I’ve stopped expecting it to be. Now I work with that chaos instead of against it.

Start messy. Don’t wait to feel ready before creating something. Your first drafts will be rough, and that’s okay—because they’re the key to better drafts. Be flexible, but also stay focused on your big-picture goals. And trust your instincts. If something feels off in your footage, in your writing, in your pacing—it probably is. Fixing it early will save you stress later. Also: back up your files. And maybe most importantly, remind yourself that this isn’t just a grade—it’s a portfolio piece, a real-world demonstration of what you can do. Treat it like that, and you’ll walk away proud.

Now, I take everything I’ve learned—about scripting, editing, pacing, storytelling, psychology—and apply it to the real world. I’m stepping into digital marketing and content creation with way more tools and way more confidence than I had before this class. I’m also walking away with something deeper: an understanding of how to create content that connects, not just content that gets views. I want to build things that respect people’s time and attention—things that inform, entertain, and leave impact.

So what’s next? More building. More storytelling. More intention. This chapter’s done, but the work has only just begun.

[how2fit]

Have you ever gone through the motions of life, doing what needs to be done, but feeling...nothing? Like there’s a wall between you and your own emotions? I’ve been there. Emotional numbness can feel like you’re watching life happen instead of living it. The good news? It’s not permanent, and with courage and wisdom, you can reconnect with the full spectrum of feelings that make life rich and meaningful. Let’s talk about what emotional numbness is, why it happens, and how to gently begin feeling again.   What is Emotional Numbness? Emotional numbness isn’t about lacking emotions; it’s about disconnecting from them. It’s like putting your feelings on “Do Not Disturb” mode. You might not even realize it’s happening because, at first, it can feel protective—like a shield against pain. But over time, that shield doesn’t just block out the bad stuff; it also shuts out joy, love, and connection. Growing up, I had a loving family, and I know my parents cared deeply for me. But love doesn’t always come with emotional attunement. My parents struggled with their own emotional burdens, and though they were there physically—providing, protecting, and doing their best—they weren’t always present emotionally. They didn’t know how to meet me in my inner world, how to sit with my feelings or help me navigate them. And I don’t blame them for that. They did what they could with what they had, but it left a gap—a space where I needed emotional connection and didn’t know how to find it. That gap grew wider as some tough things happened in my childhood. They weren’t catastrophic, but they were painful enough that I didn’t know what to do with the discomfort. I didn’t have the tools to process emotions like fear, sadness, or shame. Instead of reaching out, I learned to shut down. I built walls around myself—walls I thought would keep me safe from the pain, but they also kept me from truly feeling anything.   Why Do We Shut Down Emotionally? We often go numb because it feels safer than facing what hurts us. Fear is the main driver. Fear of rejection, fear of vulnerability, fear of being overwhelmed by our emotions—it’s all so much easier to avoid, right? Add in societal messages that emotions are “weak,” and it’s no wonder many of us become experts at stuffing our feelings down. But here’s the thing: when you avoid pain, you also avoid healing. You might not feel the sting of sadness, but you miss the sweetness of joy too.   5 Ways to Reconnect with Your Emotions Getting back in touch with your feelings takes courage. It’s not about diving headfirst into your deepest fears all at once but about taking small, intentional steps. Here’s what helped me, and I hope it can help you too: 1. Start by Noticing Awareness is the first step. Pay attention to what’s happening inside you, even if it’s subtle. Is your heart racing during a stressful conversation? Do tears creep up during a movie scene? Don’t judge yourself—just notice. I remember the first time I allowed myself to feel sadness again after years of pushing it away. I was watching a random TV show when a character lost their dog, and suddenly, I was crying. At first, I felt ridiculous, but then I realized it was progress—I was letting myself feel something.   2. Create a Safe Space Reconnecting with emotions requires trust—both in yourself and in the environment around you. For me, that safe space came from therapy. But it could also be a close friend, a journal, or even a quiet moment in nature. The key is to give yourself permission to explore your feelings without fear of judgment.   3. Take Baby Steps Don’t pressure yourself to feel everything all at once. Start small. For example, try naming your emotions throughout the day. “I feel frustrated.” “I feel excited.” “I feel tired.” It might seem basic, but it’s surprisingly effective in building emotional awareness.   4. Face the Fear of Vulnerability This one is tough, but vulnerability is where the magic happens. I’ll never forget the first time I admitted to a friend how disconnected I felt.

I was terrified they’d think I was broken, but instead, they listened and shared their own struggles. That conversation was a turning point. It reminded me that vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s a bridge to connection.   5. Practice Self-Compassion Finally, be gentle with yourself. Reconnecting with emotions can feel messy, awkward, and uncomfortable. That’s okay. You’re not failing—you’re growing.   Why it’s Worth it When you reconnect with your emotions, life feels fuller. Your relationships deepen because you can truly connect with others. Your creativity blossoms because you’re tapping into the raw, unfiltered parts of yourself. And most importantly, you begin to feel at home in your own skin. I won’t pretend it’s easy—sometimes it feels like two steps forward, one step back. But every little step is progress. I still have days when I want to shut everything out, but I remind myself of how much brighter life feels when I’m fully engaged with it. And honestly? It’s worth every ounce of effort.   Overcoming Emotional Numbness: Take the First Step If you’re feeling numb right now, I want you to know you’re not alone, and you’re not stuck. Start small. Notice what’s happening inside you. Talk to someone you trust. Write down your thoughts. Watch that sappy movie and let yourself cry. The courage to feel is also the courage to heal. You can do this. And if you ever feel like you’re standing at the edge of vulnerability, afraid to leap, remember: the other side is where connection, joy, and your most authentic self await. Want to learn more? One excellent book on this topic is "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brené Brown. While it's more commonly known as a TED Talk and audio series, it dives deep into the concepts of emotional connection, vulnerability, and how shutting down emotions can limit our ability to live fully. Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, we earn a commission when you click the link and finalize a purchase (At zero cost to you.). We participate in programs like these to keep providing our readers free daily motivational content. Photo by Alex Green

[aghostinmyownmachine]

more of this thing! turns out writing sixty is a blast, which I shouldn't be surprised by tbh. I am very much feeling my way through these scenes, I have no real goals and no real ideas of where things are going. also mixed metaphorical imagery ahoy because I am too tired to make it cohesive tonight. onward!

Nines is—fine. He is.

At first.

But the infected are all fine at first. The problems only crop up in the days following, once the infection's had time to dig into an android's code and chew it apart like blight, like rot in a system of roots. In a strange way, androids are as analogous to botanical organisms as they are to humans, both in language and in function. This has only become more true the longer the infection—human and android—has existed.

Sixty doesn't like the growing parallels between organic and machine death. He can't solve organic entropy, but maybe, with enough focus and enough information and enough time, he can solve digital entropy. The malware kind, anyway.

rA9 take them all them if he can't.

"I know it's counterintuitive," he tells Nines, currently interfacing with one of a dozen closed systems he has rigged up in the former archive room, "but don't fight the infection. Not right now, not until I say. I need unaltered data."

Nines nods, LED spinning yellow-red-yellow-red-yellow. More stable in that regard than Sixty was expecting, but then again, Nines isn't a garden-variety deviant. If anyone can keep his cool under crushing stress, it'll be him.

Connor, on the other hand.

Sixty clasps Nines's shoulder briefly on his way out. He could be reviewing the compiling data right now, but the analysis will take at least ten minutes, and there's little point trying to parse half-finished data. Better he put his extremely limited and thus valuable time into tasks he can accomplish without having to pause halfway through. Allocation of time has become one of his most critical skills. So he seals the glass door behind him, ensures the seals have locked, then palms open the door leading to the storage room tucked beneath the stairs. It used to hold hard-copy files; now it's stuffed with untainted thirium and shelf-stable food and, in the far corner, half hidden behind a stack of cardboard boxes, one RK800 Connor model having a very quiet breakdown.

Sixty isn't a warm personality. He was activated to treachery and death, and he wears the scars of his own on his faceplate like they're a shield and a sword. Even if he was good for it, he can't offer warmth and comfort the way androids are built to best receive them. In the bare picoseconds between critical processes, he rages against his own limitations, endless, endless, endless.

His HUD flashes: RK800 313 248 317 - 52 "Connor" system stress 96%

It's the highest he's seen yet.

"If you're going to start self-destructing, at least let me grab a pillow first to shove between your head and the wall."

Connor huffs, a broken sound, scratchy with static, and doesn't lift his forehead off his arms, crossed over his drawn-up knees. "Sure, Six."

Sixty leans against the pile of boxes, close but not crowding. If he's also shielding Connor from the sight of anyone who might happen to wander in, well. It's not like they'll talk about it. "Reed's wrong, you know."

That Connor doesn't immediately agree says all Sixty needs to hear. "He isn't, entirely."

"He is, entirely. I'm learning more about this virus every hour. It's just he can't see the progress because time vacillates too much the way human brains perceive it."

Some of the static bleeds out of Connor's voice, making way for what might almost be called amusement. "I'm pretty sure that's the nicest thing you've ever said about Gavin."

"And if you tell him that, I'll have to kill you." Sixty gifts Connor a sharp smile when he looks up, but he is looking up, and his stress levels have dropped a percent and a half, and Sixty tries really very hard not to think about just how much thirium Connor's burning through the longer his systems run on the ragged edge of stable. He nudges Connor's knee with his. "C'mon, Nines could use a friendly face about now."

"That rules you out." Connor nudges him back and takes a deep breath. It's unnecessary, but Sixty doesn't comment because he understands. The gestures humans use to ground themselves aren't so different from those that work on androids. Sixty wonders if plants also sigh with stress and frustration and relief. He's heard his little orange-flowering Schlumbergera truncata whispering ("Just call it a Christmas cactus like us normal folk, Six," Hank told him dryly), so who's to say it can't sigh. He just needs to figure out how to ask it, if only he could find the time. It always comes down to lack of time.

"My face is a delight," Sixty says, flat, and offers Connor a hand up. I wish I could help you more but this is the best I can do.

Connor's capable of standing on his own, but he still accepts the assistance. Once upright, he drags his thumb over the ridges of Sixty's knuckles before letting go, and Sixty images he hears a whispered Thank you. It'll have to be enough.

"Your face is a disaster, but we put up with you anyway." Connor grabs a tin of lentils from one of the shelves and uses it to nudge Sixty toward the door. "Come on, zombie bait, we can't leave the baby alone for too long. Who knows what he'll do."

Sixty laughs, but it warps around the edges. Give it a few days and control will be the last thing Nines has. Connor knows this, but he's trying, always trying so hard, to put on a brave face, to neither sugarcoat nor catastrophize, to maintain the balance of situations that are constantly doing their damnedest to throw him and everyone he cares about overboard.

Not for the first time, Sixty's glad he died Connor and was resurrected someone else. He'd rather deal with the pressure of potentially being the only one capable of drumming up a cure for all androidkind than whatever it is that Connor has going on. Stress kills humans, and it turns out it kills androids too.

And Sixty? Is tired of burying people he cares about. Which means Nines'll be fine.

He has to be. Because Sixty can't think about what'll happen to Connor if he isn't.

Next up is Connor!

Poor guy is STRESSED. He has no idea what to do, so he's doing everything. Documenting, scouting, helping out wherever he can...constantly. Connor can most often be found trailling behind Hank, taking note of everything he says and carrying out tasks too difficult for the lieutenant. He is super protective of everyone, and therefore tries to keep everyone in relatively good spirits. When going out to scout the city, Connor wears multiple layers to protect from being interfaced with. Those infected androids can have some sharp parts. Hank can't remember the last time his LED was anything but red..

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Death to All Might, Rebirth to Yagi Toshinori

So about All Might. I’ve been extremely wary of talking about what could happen to him because straight up saying “I don’t think he’s gonna die” is asking the universe to spite me. Plus it also feels like a room full of people turning to stare at me as if I said the Sun isn’t a star. Man has death flags everywhere, I know. 

But, okay, *Bill Nye voice* consider the following:

Mr. Yagi here, if he overheard everything, just received the final nail in the coffin on his career. His time as the symbol of peace is not only over, it was in fact partially responsible for the current state of things, since he once did so much on his own that his absence now makes heroes and civilians alike ill-prepared to cope. I think it was very apt for that one guy to be wearing an All Might shirt--he was acting as a mouthpiece for the latent societal problems embedded in All Might’s legacy. 

We know already that he’s been feeling useless. I love this scene and although I’m not gonna talk about it right this second, remember what Aizawa says about just “being here” being enough:

And we know from conversations with Inko that Toshinori is also reframed his purpose around looking after Izuku. But in the end, Izuku rejected his help, and it was his classmates instead who were able to save him. Now the very progress of humanity is rejecting him too. You may me wondering how on Earth I don’t see the logical conclusion of all this being his death. Hold on. It actually has a lot to do with the fact that we’re all expecting it. Nighteye himself saw it, and despite any contrary convictions anyone might have, the plot doesn’t seem to be veering away from that end. All Might Is Gonna Die, says absolutely everything. 

It’s occurring to me that I have previous experience with this kind of plotline that probably little to no one else in this fandom shares, being that I’ve read a certain book series in which the main character is told in no uncertain terms that he will die (no, I’m not talking about hp). The series in question is T*e Und*rland Chronicl*s (censoring so it doesn’t get put in their side of tumblr) and I’m sorry but I’m about to go on a shameless tangent about it and spoil the ending for you.

So in this series there is a prophecy in every book, each one having something to do with war and conflict, and so far all of them have been right. In the last book [mc] finds out that it’s prophesied that he will be killed. Lots of the things in the prophecies are convoluted and metaphorical, but no, this one literally says “when the [mc’s title] has been killed.” He spends the whole book coming to terms with this, and he gives into it, only to find himself waking up in the hospital instead. “Wow, plot twist. /s” you may be thinking, and yeah sure, the mc in a kids book survived, big shocker. But it doesn't end there. After the war, there are peace talks, but they escalate until the two sides are on the verge of declaring war again. And [mc], bless him, has just been caught in the middle of all of this the entire time. He’s sick as shit of fighting, of watching the suffering and death of people he cares about. He draws his sword against both of them angrily, gives a speech saying he won’t take a side, and then promptly breaks his sword across his knee: “There. [mc’s title in the prophecies] is dead. I killed him.” He’s giving a huge middle finger to everyone there, to the man who wrote the prophecies, to the entire fucked up culture of it all. And so something that was taken literally turns out to be metaphorical. That is, if you still believe in the prophecies at all.

Hopefully you’re catching my drift here. What I’m saying is, even though this other series has nothing to do with bnha, it goes to show sometimes it’s the most absolute certainties that are red herrings, and a “death” can consequently be a symbolic one. In All Might’s case, it could be the death of hero society and a rejection of his own past. In other words, character development for Toshinori himself that reflects on the way the world is changing, too. Also there’s the fact that the mc from that other series I’m trying not to name has an honorary title, and I’m imagining that role he occupied “dying” could correspond to something that amounts to, “All Might is dead. I (Yagi Toshinori) killed him.” 

And here’s another thing: we also have to ask ourselves what good a dead Toshinori is to Izuku, narratively speaking. Yes, Izuku has spent his whole life idolizing even the more toxic parts of All Might, and his idealized vision of his hero does need to “die.” But how about Toshinori as a father figure?  Izuku regretting that his last interaction with Toshinori was to reject his help may drive home the fact that he shouldn’t go off on his own, but at this point it’s kinda redundant. If anything it would negate some of the progress that was just made because it’d make him extra paranoid about losing other people too. To be honest, the whole “Uncle Ben” trope, the mentor/father figure who dies and gives the mc a reason to do better, is so tired. Experiencing the death of a loved one really doesn’t deserve to be romanticized like that. I might as well admit that I’m speaking from experience, and let me tell you, losing someone you love suddenly, when you weren’t around, and with unfinished business--it makes you paranoid as hell that it will happen again. It literally gives me nightmares. Y’all, I cannot stress enough that trauma does not equal character development. Granted, just because I know this doesn’t mean Horikoshi does, but in general he does seem to lead his characters toward healing.

Okay, back to the present. Toshinori is turning away from UA. He likely feels useless and rejected. We can infer that what happens next will involve Stain, and we have a couple of extra clues to go with it: Stain considers All Might a true hero, and has stated that he would let All Might kill him. And since Horikoshi loves his parallels, we also have this fight between Endeavor and this random villain who admires him so much that he wants to die by Endeavor’s hand:

This suggests a confrontation in which Stain challenges All Might to live up to himself as he once was, so that as a hero he can vanquish Stain and symbolically overcome society's perversion of that role. But based on what All Might has learned about the system he upheld, Stain is wrong. All Might is not a “true hero” in the sense that the societal issues Stain witnessed exist not in spite of All Might, but (in part) because of him, because he took too much of the responsibility for himself.

Stain probably had no idea about the personal cost of All Might’s lonely burden until after the fact. Maybe he’s seeing it now. So then perhaps the confrontation would be more about Stain claiming he’s just as fake as the rest. Either way, Toshinori has the opportunity to denounce himself and be rid of “All Might,”  to stop living in his own shadow. Nighteye’s vision has been defied before, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the combination of society shifting + Toshinori’s own conviction is enough to do it again and work fate in his favor.

He is not All Might. He is Yagi Toshinori: quirkless, worn down, and directionless except for his dedication to Izuku. If he survives his interaction with Stain, he can resolve his imperfect mentorship by confessing about his shortcomings and simply supporting Izuku as a part of his family, not as his teacher (as Aizawa said, just “being there”). And that’s how you really get character development, for both of them. I mean, shit, imagine Toshinori straight up telling Izuku to stop calling him All Might.

[dgdraws]

Back with my full year end reflection :)

You wouldn't know by looking at this but I got snatched up in the grips of writing during the early months of this year. There was only one other choice for January! But I was determined to do Funguary again and made myself notes and a plan and actually stuck to it whilst churning out a good deal of writing. Wasn't planning on doing mARTch but it's so aligned with my art ethos I couldn't NOT do it, which turned out to be a great decision as I ended up focuing on Ziri and Talia and getting way deeper into their development.

April was back to writing a lot and making a lineup of the dnd party from the last game I played with my ttrpg group. They are a HUGE source of my inspiration for getting into all of this, in fact I took the plunge because I kept having great ideas for illustrations of scenes from our current game (vtm; #low kings) and I had to decide to either a) find someone to commission or b) learn to do it myself. And, well, my heart wanted option b more than I'd been willing to admit. Anywaaayyy, I made that lineup as a tribute to them and the two years we spent with those characters.

In May I actually started prep for Artfight, if you can believe it. Wanted at least a few Proper Refsheets, especially for the new ocs. Also this portrait at Ncuti Gatwa that still takes my breath away. June, more artfight prep, also a bunch of writing because my brain loooooves to jump tracks when I'm under pressure, even pressure I put on myself. If you've ever wondered why I seem so breezy, know it's because my nervous system is a feral cat my thinking brain is trying to tempt into a carrier. Less is more.

July!! Artfight!! Best month of the year :) I completed 20 works with 24 different ocs for 22 different artists, many of whom have become beloved mutuals! It's an honor to fight amongst you all for the love of art and ocs and our fellow artists. Also the month I started switching over to CSP anddd by the start of August I overclocked my touchscreen laptop to death and made the leap to a sturdier machine with a wacom tablet. Hello learning curve!!!

Okay okay then I caught Malevolent brainrot so hard, so so hard, and August and September were basically lost to that. Not complaining, I needed it when life/work got shaken up without warning in the fall, and having my brain hooked up to the feelings engine made dealing with the stress a little more manageable. And thus I mowed through 8 fiction horror podcasts chasing the Malevolent high and turning off the part of my brain that wanted to scream and jump off a pier and make adjusting to my new circumstances much, much harder. Thank you scifi/horror audiodrama for your service.

Thankfully I was stable enough to join in OC-tober, not as much as I would have liked, but enough to make some great new connections and again give some time to digging into Ziri and Talia's story. Actually brought an ambitious project for them to a close in November (point one on my list of accomplishments ^^). And this December I've been focused solely on two pieces for my siblings. They really are my masterpieces for the year though!

A little bummed I missed out on Huevember this year, I learned so much from it last time, but it just wasn't in the cards. After all, I got this feral cat inside me and I'm trying to teach it to relax and do things like ask for/accept help, not shutdown with the slightest demand, be niceys to itself and others... making progress, yanno, slow but sure, definitely not linear, unsure if talking about it here is just being vulnerable and real or if it's like, tmi, but. Fuck it we ball. Stay silly ;3

Alright closing statement time...

2024 was a year of transition, for me. In so many ways. I've let go of a few old anchors, taken some steps in exciting directions, weathered unexpected change surprisingly well. I hope 2025 brings more resilience, more surprises, more fellowship. I'm grateful to every person who made this year special simply by crossing my path. Your art, your vision, your imaginations sustain me, inspire me. Take my hand. Let's step into the future together.

I cant wait to see you there ❤️

All my love,

Wren

What a year 2024 has been!!!

Some accomplishments I'm proud of:

Conceived and executed a three page project for my favorite oc's :)

Completed 52 pieces for events throughout the year!!!

Converted to a drawing tablet and a new digital art program

Culminated all the learning and growth this year with two gift art pieces that I'm extremely proud of for my siblings ❤️

[coffeeheartaddict2]

Sweet Relief

Book: Open Heart (book 1)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC Casey Valentine

Warnings: sexual content (masturbation)

Rating: Mature

Category: Angsty smut

Word count: 1046

Summary: Ethan’s secret has been discovered and he invites Casey to his apartment to fill her in on the details. This is all from Ethan’s perspective.

Disclaimer: Characters, any dialogue (actual and paraphrased) belong to Pixelberry.

Authors note: I have done the edges of this scene in other works but thanks @jamespotterthefirst and your replay of book one that planted the seed for this fic. In my headcanon Ethan knows he is physically attracted to her at this point and he has certainly handled things whilst thinking about Casey but this chapter he really learns he can trust her and starts a reprieve in the thoughts of “I can not and I will not”, well at least until after Miami anyway.

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

“If you want me to keep this secret, you need to tell me what this is?”

“Not here, can you come to my unit after your shift today and I will fill you in.”

“Of course Ethan”

The conversation had been swirling in his head since Casey had stumbled upon him and Naveen in the under construction wing of the hospital. A part of him suspected that she would have found him out, a few weeks prior she had seen him near the construction zone and if he was being honest surprised it took him this long but now someone knew the secret he had been keeping and it was disconcerting. Casey was not just any intern though, she was someone who he was developing some type of feeling for. As much as he told himself it was a Neurochemical response to stress because she was an Intern but she was not. She had compassion, a willingness to learn not just generally but from any errors and he could tell that she really wants the spot.

He spent most of the afternoon questioning his decision to meet at his apartment. He had his own office but there was no guarantee they would not be interrupted, even if he did stay back after his shift. There would also be too many prying eyes at Derry’s. So his home was the only choice. He arrived home and had a quick bite. For some reason he was nervous. Sure he had pleasured himself to many thoughts of how he would pleasure her if given the opportunity but he knew he could not give in. Another thing that had him concerned was whether he could trust her. A part of him felt he could. There had been no hoards of interns demanding coffee from his private machine and no one had hounded him this afternoon about secretly treating Naveen but still this was next level. He had trusted people for sure, Naveen, Harper but those trusts were hard earned and developed over time but this was different. This is someone he had barely met and was only just beginning to know.

He looks at his watch and notes that it is nearly time for Casey to arrive. He got the wine ready whilst chastising himself for creating a social atmosphere. After a few minutes there is a buzz on his intercom. He lets Casey in.

“This is a good view”

In that moment all I can think about is what I want to do with her against the window. The thoughts of impropriety were still there but he recovered enough to say “I am rarely here to enjoy it.”

We sit down, she asks about Naveen. I tell her how he had been unwell, initially putting it down to seasonal illness but it got worse. I started tracking the symptoms and things started to be contradictory and worsening. I confronted Naveen and he agreed to let me treat him in secret. When some of the symptoms became too difficult to hide he quit. He wanted to go on a beach somewhere and enjoy what time he had left but persuaded him to keep being treated. I have kept him in the wing you found us. She puts her hand on my knee. I want to take it further but I am also enjoying the sensation of her hand on my knee. I make no effort to remove it. We discuss Naveen, his symptoms and progression especially. I am professionally impressed. As the evening goes on I feel lighter,less burdened. The time comes for Casey to leave. As she leaves she tells me that I am no longer alone. I am taken aback, it is a relief in a way that I now have someone to share information with in relation to Naveen but I could not help but catch a secondary meaning. Had she picked up on my inner turmoil that I have had all evening in relation to her? Or was I reading into it?

I switch to scotch, thoughts again drifting to what I wish I could be doing. I head to the shower and start to think of more practical things. Breaking the news to Naveen that there was someone new helping him, keeping any work Casey does separate. He finishes his shower and heads to bed. Thoughts about how he to keep his more lustful thoughts in check if they were going to be working together more quickly turned into what he wanted to do. He had mental visions of her, straddling him, he was massaging her breast, whilst kissing the column of her neck.

He feels himself harden again and he knows it is a losing battle.

He gets himself comfortable and starts to stroke himself. Slowly at first, keeping time to how he would be doing things to Casey if she was here. He squeezes whilst stroking, imaging he was entering her. He moans her name. He imagines that he is thrusting in and out and what his imagination conjures glorious. He pumps himself harder as he gets closer, his grip getting tighter as he imagines Casey clenching around his length. He is on the precipice of his climax and with a final powerful stroke he comes. He groans as he comes. He cleans himself up and heads back to bed. He waits for the cycle of regret of the thoughts he had indulged but instead he falls into a restful sleep as he is exhausted. He wakes up the most refreshed and rested in a long time and still no sign of regret at once again masturbating to thoughts of Casey. He puts it all down that he now has someone to share with about Naveen.

A few days later he sees Casey and she looks happy. She said she found a way to help someone in need and felt good making a path, like you told me the other day. Without thinking I squeeze her arm and congratulate her on her win. The action takes me by surprise but then I remember what I feel. I still can not fathom the lack of cycle of self loathing and I put it down to trusting Casey with t the secret of Naveen.

——-

Authors note 2: gotta love some old fashioned book 1 pining. In my head canon it is here that he feels he can trust her and that feeling overrides any doubts he has about the feelings he is developing. At this point he has no intention of acting on them, until Miami and the cycle starts again.

Tagging: @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @genevievemd @cariantha @alj4890 @youlookappropriate @genevievemd @trappedinfanfiction @liaromancewriter @potionsprefect @bex-la-get @crazy-loca-blog @a-crepusculo @binny1985 @schnitzelbutterfingers @lucy-268 @socalwriterbee @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations

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