#some people here and on instagram have said it shorter

[caitified]

OMG YAY ! i don’t see much content for azzi here it’s kind of sad💔 it’s my first time requesting but maybe azzi and reader used to date but broke up because reader went abroad for some time. so azzi starts dating paige after a while but reader comes back and azzi gets confused/conflicted🙏🙏

confused

azzi fudd x reader

warnings:none, but i didn’t read abroad when i first saw your request so sorry about that!

the last night of high school had a bittersweet magic, like the twilight of a long, perfect day. azzi leaned against your car, her eyes a warm blend of laughter and anticipation as she looked at you under the stars.

“we did it,” she said softly, her hand reaching for yours. “after all these years, we’re finally here.”

you squeezed her hand, the familiar warmth of her skin sending a rush through you. azzi had been your everything since middle school, the kind of love people wrote about. and even though she was going to uconn and you’d soon be on the other side of the country at stanford, there was something fierce and hopeful in both of you. you’d make this work—long distance, time zones, anything. you both promised.

but in the weeks that followed, distance crept in slowly, like shadows at dusk. phone calls turned shorter, text messages went unanswered longer, and instagram kept you updated more on her life than she did herself. it was paige who started appearing in those updates the most. paige, laughing with her. paige, meeting her after practices. paige, cheering her on from the stands. paige, who understood her world of basketball in a way you couldn’t.

months passed. your heart grew accustomed to the ache, hoping it would be worth it. until, finally, you’d had enough.

it was a late saturday night when you texted azzi, a small hope sparking that she’d call back. an hour went by. then two. you waited until her online status disappeared into nothing. the silence pressed against you, suffocating.

the breakup was long overdue, yet when it happened, it still felt sudden. you sent a simple message: i think we both deserve better than this. i love you, azzi, but i can’t keep pretending that i’m okay. maybe it’s time we let go.

she responded with a long, agonizing pause. and then, one final text: i understand. i’m so sorry.

for a long time after, it felt like your world had shrunk. but you focused on school, throwing yourself into new friendships and routines. azzi stayed in the background of your life, just out of sight. you saw the news when she and paige became official, saw their faces together across sports feeds, but by then, you were already halfway to moving on.

three years later, standing in the crowded arena in san francisco, you didn’t expect to see her. the golden state valkyries had just announced azzi’s draft, and the crowd buzzed with excitement as she jogged out, looking as stunning and determined as ever. seeing her was like a shot of adrenaline straight to your heart.

as she moved through the crowd after the event, signing autographs and hugging teammates, your eyes met hers. time seemed to freeze. she looked at you as though she was seeing a ghost, her face a mix of shock, wonder, and something else.

“hey,” you managed, stepping forward. “congratulations, azzi. you… you made it.”

azzi blinked, regaining her composure. “hey yourself,” she said, her voice soft. “i didn’t think i’d see you here.”

“i live here now,” you replied, forcing a casual tone. “life happened.”

a soft chuckle escaped her lips. “yeah, i guess it does.” she glanced over her shoulder, where the crowd still buzzed, and then back at you. “do you have time to catch up? maybe coffee?”

a moment’s hesitation flickered within you. but then you nodded. “sure. coffee sounds good.”

the cafe was quiet, a small place nestled into the heart of the city, far enough from the hustle of the arena that it almost felt hidden. azzi had chosen a table in the corner, a place where the dim lighting and soft music blurred the line between memory and reality.

you sat across from her, stirring your coffee absentmindedly, catching glimpses of her across the table. time had changed her. she was leaner, sharper somehow, the softness of high school replaced by something refined. but there were hints of the girl you once knew—the curve of her smile, the way she fidgeted with the edge of her sleeve. little things that made your heart clench.

“so… stanford, huh?” she broke the silence, her voice careful, like she was stepping over broken glass.

“yeah. decided to go all in with the academics,” you replied, trying to keep things light. “and you… uconn and now golden state? i knew you’d make it big.”

she laughed, the sound warm and familiar. “it’s been a wild ride. sometimes i still don’t believe it.”

a silence settled between you two, one that felt almost comfortable. it was strange, sitting there with someone who once knew you better than anyone else, and yet now felt like a stranger.

“i saw you with paige,” you said, finally breaking the silence. you kept your tone steady, not accusing, just… curious.

she looked down, her hands wrapped around her cup. “yeah. we… got together after you and i broke up. she was there for me when i was struggling, you know? uconn was intense, and i didn’t know anyone. she made it feel like home.”

there was no bitterness in her voice, just honesty, and somehow that made it hurt less. you had seen it coming; even back in high school, there was something between azzi and paige that was easy and natural, something that used to make you feel like you were on the outside.

“i’m glad,” you said quietly. and you meant it, even if part of you wondered what might have happened if things had been different.

you talked about everything that night—your time at stanford, her life at uconn, the struggles, the triumphs. it was as if the years between you faded with each word, each laugh. and as the hours stretched on, that familiar warmth started creeping back in, like a flame rekindling.

when it was finally time to go, azzi walked you to your car. there was a soft breeze, and the night felt impossibly still.

“it was really good seeing you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. there was something in her eyes, something that made your heart race, but you pushed it down, reminding yourself that she had someone waiting for her.

“you too,” you replied, giving her a small smile. “congrats again, azzi. you’re really… amazing.”

she looked like she wanted to say something more, but she just nodded, stepping back as you got into your car. you watched her in the rearview mirror as you pulled away, her figure growing smaller until she disappeared from sight.

days turned into weeks, and despite your best efforts, azzi slipped back into your life. she’d text you every now and then, little messages that felt casual on the surface but carried weight in every word. saw something that reminded me of you, she’d write, or remember that time we got caught in the rain? each message was like a breadcrumb, pulling you back toward her.

one evening, you got a text from her. hey, got an extra ticket to the game tonight. want to come?

you hesitated, knowing it could open old wounds, but in the end, curiosity won. you arrived at the arena, slipping into your seat as the lights dimmed. the game was intense, and azzi was incredible—fast, focused, completely in her element. watching her, you felt that old pride swell up, a pride that only grew when she scored the game-winning shot.

afterward, she found you outside, her face still flushed from the game. “thanks for coming,” she said, her smile shy, almost like she was back in high school again.

“i wouldn’t have missed it,” you replied, feeling your heart race as she held your gaze a little too long.

that night, she drove you home. you could feel the tension in the car, thick and electric, the air filled with words unspoken. as she parked outside your place, you hesitated, hand on the door, before you turned back to her.

“this… this feels like old times, doesn’t it?” you asked softly.

she looked down, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. “yeah,” she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. “i didn’t realize how much i missed it. missed… you.”

your heart hammered in your chest, but you knew there was someone else, someone who had been there for her when you hadn’t. “azzi… what about paige?”

she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “i know. it’s just… i don’t know what to do. paige has been amazing. she’s my best friend, and she’s… she’s everything i thought i wanted. but being around you… it’s different. it’s like i’m back where i belong.”

you reached out, gently taking her hand. “i don’t want to be the reason you hurt someone. but… i also can’t pretend that i don’t feel the same way.”

for a long time, she didn’t respond, her hand warm in yours, her gaze fixed on the street outside. when she finally looked at you, there was a hint of tears in her eyes. “i just need time,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

“okay,” you replied softly. “take all the time you need.”

the weeks that followed were torturous. azzi would text, call, ask to meet up, and each time felt like a step closer and a step further away all at once. you knew she was struggling, caught between two lives, two loves, each one pulling her in a different direction. and as much as you wanted her, you didn’t want her to feel forced, didn’t want her to carry the guilt of hurting someone she cared about.

one evening, she showed up at your door unannounced, her face pale, her eyes rimmed with exhaustion. without a word, you stepped aside, letting her in.

“i ended things with paige,” she said, her voice hollow. “i told her the truth. that my heart wasn’t all hers. that part of me… was still with you.”

the words hung in the air, heavy and fragile. you took a step closer, reaching for her hand. “are you okay?” you asked, even though you knew the answer.

she shook her head, her shoulders trembling. “no. but i know this is right. i can’t keep pretending. you… you’re my past, but you’re also my future. and i need to be honest with myself.”

you pulled her into your arms, holding her as she clung to you, her body shaking with the weight of her decision. you knew she would need time to heal, that her heart would need to piece itself back together. but for now, you were here, together, ready to face whatever came next.

[venus-haze]

My Destruction Is an Hour Late (Homelander x Reader)

Summary: As a nameless, faceless administrative assistant, you never expected any members of The Seven to give you the time of day. In your year or so of working at Vought, Homelander’s taken a particular liking to you, always seeking you out to help him with whatever tasks or projects he can conjure up to take up as much of your time as possible. When you’re not available to help him after hours since you have a date planned, his interest in you proves to be far more than professional.

Note: Reader is a woman but no other descriptors are used. First time writing for Homelander so I hope it’s at least okay! Y/N naming convention isn’t used in this, Homelander only refers to you by pet names. This takes place between seasons 1 and 2. On the shorter side of what I usually write, but a lot happens in this. Title comes from one of my favorite lines from Buddy’s Rendezvous by Father John Misty. Do not interact if you are under 18 or if you post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: Homelander is a warning. Suspected murder, age gap (Homelander is in his 40s while the reader is 20s/30s), emotional manipulation, some dubcon which involves explicit depictions of food play and mommy kink. Do not interact if you are under 18.

Being part of the corporate machine wasn’t exactly what you’d dreamed of when you were a little girl, but working for Vought softened the blow. You could see the look in people’s eyes when you told them who your employer was, one of the first things strangers learned about you. Interest and envy punctuated every question, but what everyone wanted to know was ‘Have you ever met any of The Seven?’

You had, and you weren’t sure whether it was a good or bad thing that in your drive to keep the best paying job you’d ever had in an overpriced city like New York, you earned a reputation of reliability, which meant extra assignments but the overtime pay to go with it. One supe in particular was the source of most of your after hours work. Needless to say, he wasn’t pleased about the singular occasion when you were unavailable. 

“I’m so sorry, sir,” you said. “I can’t tonight. I blocked off my time this evening on my calendar.”

“Yes, I saw that, but what could you possibly be doing that you can’t help me with this? You’re my go-to! I thought you were reliable, but this is—“

“I have a date,” you said softly. 

His jaw clenched, and you could’ve sworn you saw a flash of red in his eyes for a brief moment as he glared at you. He couldn’t have been that angry that you wouldn’t stay late to help him, not when there were dozens of other low-level Vought employees around. You couldn’t accept jealousy as a possible motivation, perhaps possessiveness, you’d heard of his odd relationship with Madelyn Stilwell, who was killed a little over a month after Vought hired you. 

“I’m sorry, sir,” you repeated weakly. “I can help tomorrow.”

He scoffed, clearly expecting you to offer to cancel your date to help him instead. Vought was one of the highest paying employers in the city, and you’d heard from your acquaintances in the HR department that the average job posting got well over 2,000 applicants on the low end. It wasn't uncommon for employees to work late nights here and there, but it seemed like so much of your time was consumed by Homelander. You’d foolishly volunteered to help him with something not long after you’d been hired, and as he said, you’d become his go-to. He intimidated you, but at times you found he could be almost sweet when it was just the two of you.

In all honesty, your social life had suffered immensely since you began working at Vought, and some of your friends had stopped the pretense of asking if you were free when they were planning to hang out, and you’d only become aware of the plans when you saw the Instagram stories after the fact. Restaurants, concerts, weekend trips—that used to be you. In a fit of loneliness and desperation one of the few nights you didn’t arrive back at your apartment and practically collapse asleep, you’d opened all of the dating apps you hadn’t touched in months, and quickly arranged a dinner date at your place with a nice enough guy named Jesse. 

You sunk into your desk chair, an expensive ergonomic one he specifically had Ashley order for you because you’d complained of back pain once. Returning to your assignment at hand, you tried to ignore the eyes on you for declining Homelander’s request. At least five o’clock came sooner rather than later, and you rushed to gather your things, wanting to get out of the building as quickly as possible to avoid any further confrontations.

It was odd leaving Vought Tower when it was still light out. You’d almost gotten used to leaving for work and coming home in the dark. The train back to your apartment was unusually crowded, a consequence of actually leaving at rush hour. Jesse would be over at seven, leaving you just an hour and a half when you got back home to cook and get ready. You’d decided on lasagna, a dish easy to make but equally easy to impress with. 

Multitasking dinner and fixing up your hair and makeup probably wasn’t the best idea you’d ever had, but before working at Vought, you loved to entertain. It’d been so long, though, you’d forgotten how involved it was. Despite nearly spilling pasta sauce on your simple yet classic black dress, you were a bit relieved when Jesse seemed to be running a few minutes late–until a few minutes turned into far more.

7:14 ‘If you need directions, let me know!’

7:36 ‘Hey, is everything okay?’

7:53 ‘Are you seriously ghosting me?’

At a few minutes past eight, you angrily typed a simple ‘Fuck you’ when a knock at the door startled you, and you nearly pressed send when you flinched. You had half a mind not to answer. Who the hell did he think he was showing up an hour late? Another impatient, more forceful knock echoed through your apartment and you rose to your feet, throwing your phone aside on the couch and storming over to the front door. 

Opening it, you expected to see your less than punctual date in your doorway. Instead, the man at your door looked extremely out of place in your modest apartment building.

“Homelander?”

“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “Is that lasagna I smell? Yummy.”

“I—what are you doing here? Not that I’m not glad to see you, but—“

A drop of blood rolled from one of his gloved hands and onto the floor in the hallway. Your mind immediately raced to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’d just apprehended some violent criminal. Although, in that case, he’d return to the tower right away and report the incident for the crime analytics team.

“I was just in the area and thought I’d stop by,” he said casually, as if he regularly came over to your place unannounced.

You nodded, moving out of the way for him to enter. “Of course, um, is everything okay?”

Vought kept all employee information in a database, and you were sure he had access to it and found your address that way. Still, it didn’t make any sense. You weren’t important on the Vought totem pole, and you didn’t feel like you and Homelander were all that close. Though, it seemed he knew far more about you than you could have anticipated.

The more you considered it, though, the timing, the convenience of his arrival in the absence of your date, not to mention the literal blood on his hands—you looked at him, wide-eyed at the man who just stepped foot in your home, not wanting to believe the worst but knowing it’d be dishonest otherwise.

Homelander grinned, his pearly white canines glistening like fangs beneath the soft lighting you’d carefully set up in your living room. “Now, why are you looking at me like I’m the big bad wolf?”

Your lip trembled. “It’s nothing.”

“Perfect! Then let’s eat,” he announced jovially. “I’m sure you’ve been waiting long enough.”

“Sure, make yourself at home,” you said.

You went into the kitchen to retrieve the lasagna from the oven, which you’d kept at a low temperature to keep the dish warm but not overcook. Grabbing fresh basil from the fridge, you garnished the pasta with a few leaves. Suddenly lasagna seemed like a stupid choice. Jesse probably would have appreciated it, but Homelander was used to food cooked by Vought’s staff of professional chefs. It was too simple, even if you had made the sauce yourself.

He glanced around at the decor in your apartment while you busied yourself in the kitchen. A framed print of Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart on your wall, a well-worn copy of Pride and Prejudice among the books stacked on your coffee table, assorted candles glowing softly in your dim apartment, “You’re quite the romantic, aren’t you?”

You could feel your face heat up at his correct observation, nodding bashfully as you set the tray of lasagna on the table. It didn’t help that in your excitement for the evening, you’d made a ‘first date playlist’ consisting of Elvis, Sinatra, Simone, and some other older artists that played softly from the speaker you had set on the counter. It wasn’t like you had expected Jesse to be the one, but you wanted to indulge yourself.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I am too, really,” he said, his voice oddly assuring, as if he weren’t saying it just to humor you. “Not many of us hopeless romantics around anymore.”

He had taken off his gloves since you’d gone into the kitchen, laying them neatly next to his plate. You ignored the small droplets of blood that had pooled on the table, focusing on making sure the serving of lasagna didn’t collapse into an unsightly mess on his plate. At least luck was on your side in that respect, as you nearly sighed in relief at the nice presentation. You were a bit less careful with your own serving before sitting down across from him.

Having Homelander eat your food felt more nerve-wracking than if Gordon Ramsay were over, it wasn’t like the latter could laser your kitchen table in half if he thought it was horrible. 

“Goddamn, this is delicious. What’s that I taste in here?” He sounded genuine, not patronizing as you almost expected. Maybe he just didn’t eat lasagna very often.

“I seasoned the ricotta,” you said.

He snapped his fingers. “That’s it! I didn’t know you cook like this.”

“I love to cook, I just haven’t had much time recently.”

“Interesting what you learn about people outside of work.” He grimaced a bit when he took a sip of wine. That was on you and your tendency to buy cheap alcohol. You could stomach the subpar taste for the sake of the buzz, but as far as you knew, Homelander couldn’t get drunk, so there wasn’t even that benefit.

“I can get you something else to drink. I’m so sorry,” you said. “I have water, iced tea, I think some soda, too.”

He looked at your fridge and huffed, displeased. “You have half a bottle of flat Coke. I’ll take the tea.”

You could’ve given A-Train a run for his money with how fast you raced into the kitchen to pour Homelander a glass of iced tea and bring it back to him.

“Did you find someone to help you with that thing you mentioned earlier?” you asked as you handed him the drink.

He shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. “No, like you said, it can wait until tomorrow.”

You hummed in response, biting back a comment about how it didn’t seem like it just a few hours ago. Instead, you sat back down and focused on finishing the lasagna on your plate. Suddenly it seemed like far too much, but you powered through the rest of the meal you’d worked so hard to make as Homelander led most of the conversation, while you gave short responses, hoping he’d get the hint at how uncomfortable you were. If he did, he certainly didn’t care.

“So, what’s for dessert?” he asked when you collected the dirty plates from the table.

“Ice cream,” you answered. “I’ll get yours first.”

“Nonsense, we can share,” he said.

You merely nodded, disappearing into the kitchen to pull the small carton of vanilla ice cream from your freezer. The bowls in your cupboard seemed too pedestrian to serve Homelander in, until you remembered the plastic, diner-style ice cream cups you’d bought not long after you moved into your apartment. Carefully scooping the dessert into the cup, you were pleased with how professional it looked.

Ice cream and spoon in hand, you set both in front of Homelander, who looked from the treat to you. “Ooh, vanilla, such an under-appreciated flavor, don’t you think?” 

“Yeah,” you answered, unwilling to admit you’d only bought it because it was on sale, and you had left over chocolate syrup from when you were on your brief home cafe kick.

You yelped when he pulled you onto his lap, bracing yourself by placing your hands on his chest. He seemed pleased at your reaction, smiling as he took a spoonful of ice cream and held it in front of your mouth. 

“Go on, sweetheart,” he said.

You leaned in, opening your mouth and allowing him to feed the dessert to you. His smile widened when you swallowed.

“Okay, my turn,” he said cheerfully, ignoring the way your hand shook as you scooped up a generous amount of ice cream and put the spoon in his mouth.

The moan he let out as he sucked the ice cream off of the spoon was nothing short of sinful, and you felt ashamed that it stirred something in you. Sure, you found Homelander attractive and had a brief crush on him before coming to terms with the fact that it’d never happen, but this was just bizarre. 

The odd ritual continued for another few agonizing minutes, and it was almost like he was going out of his way to see how much you would put up with before you’d protest or challenge him. You told yourself it was because you wanted to keep your job, and you were definitely afraid of him, but a small part of you that you tried to push deep into the recesses of your mind was starting to enjoy it.

“You know, I’m having a great time. We should do this more often,” he said, finally setting aside the half-empty cup.

You gulped. “Yeah, if you want to.”

“Do you not want to?”

“It’s not that, I just–I was expecting someone else tonight.”

“Right. Jesse,” he said, spitting the name like venom. 

You’d never told Homelander your date’s name in the brief conversation you’d had with him about it back at the tower. There was no way he couldn’t hear your heart racing. If you didn’t calm down, you were sure your dinner was going to make an unwelcome reappearance.

“So, what was the plan after the romantic candle lit dinner? Just a kiss goodnight, or were you going to let him fuck you?” he asked, his voice flat as he pinned you in place with nothing more than a cold stare.

You balked at his wording. Not that you hadn’t heard him curse before, it was a shock in and of itself the first time he dropped the f-bomb in front of you. He’d never been so directly crass toward you, though. “I-I don’t—“

“You don’t put out on the first date?” he finished. “Really make ‘em work for it, huh?”

“I just don’t want to be that intimate with someone I don’t know well,” you answered, shifting uncomfortably in his lap.

“Good thing you know me like the back of your hand, right?”

“Mhm,” you hummed absentmindedly.

His fingers brushed one of the slinky spaghetti straps of your black dress, the caress reminding you of how easily he could break you if he wanted to. You'd seen him lift cars with his bare hands and not even break a sweat. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, then to the crook of your neck, then your cheek, until finally he captured your lips in a kiss that left you dizzy. You hadn’t realized you’d been holding your breath until he forced your mouth open with his tongue. 

Tangling your fingers in his hair in an attempt to steady yourself only encouraged him. 

He pulled you closer so you were fully straddling him, and you knew despite the force with which he held your hips in place, he was holding back. You nearly choked on your own spit, or perhaps it was a mix of yours and his at this point. He was already pushing it with how much force you could handle, and he was holding back. 

When he finally pulled away, you looked at him, glassy-eyed and lips surely in the process of bruising. You could feel his hardening cock through his suit as it pressed against your thighs. He stared at you, intense and uncomfortable for a few moments before his gaze wandered right next to your ass. He picked up the cup of melted ice cream with one hand, and tore open the front of your dress with the other, as if it were nothing more than tissue paper. 

“You dress like such a little prude at work, but this–fuck,” he muttered, almost to himself. 

Before you could respond, he poured some of the melted ice cream over your chest, and you gasped at the sensation of the cool liquid making contact with your skin. He watched, mesmerized as it rolled down your breasts, a droplet of vanilla hanging from one of your exposed nipples. He dipped his head, licking it gently before taking your breast in his mouth. 

You whimpered as his teeth harshly grazed your nipple, needy and insatiable as he lapped up the sticky ice cream that’d begun to dry on your chest. 

“Fuck, mommy,” he whined against your skin, throwing you for one hell of a loop.

He poured the rest of the vanilla ice cream on your chest, some of it landing on your already ruined dress. Throwing the cup aside without a second thought, he brought his attention to your other breast which he’d simply been groping until then. You nearly jumped when he grabbed your hand, threading your fingers through his hair. Oh god, he wanted you to pull him closer.

Hesitantly, you pushed his face against your breast, his moan practically vibrating through you. You kept your hand in his hair, nails scraping against his scalp as he relentlessly sucked and licked your breasts. The stimulation was almost too intense to be pleasurable, but the wetness between your legs said otherwise. You couldn’t hide that from a man like Homelander, your gut twisting at the realization he could probably smell your arousal.

He was fully hard now, and with how rough he was getting, you could tell he was close. Biting your sensitive lip, you slipped your hand between your bodies, rubbing his hard on through his suit. 

“Oh fuck, mommy, don’t stop,” he moaned.

It felt almost wrong, seeing the most powerful superhero in the world so vulnerable, but you knew better. Despite the facade of submissiveness, he was in control. 

“Are-are you close, baby?” you asked, hoping if you played the part, the less time you’d be subject to his troubling fetish.

“Yes,” he whined. “God, I’m–”

He squeezed your breast when he came, and if you weren’t sure it’d be bruised in the morning before, that had made you certain. You gasped in pain, tears rolling down your cheeks which he wiped away in his post-orgasm haze.

“You did so good. You did so fucking good, just like I knew you would,” he praised. 

He picked you up like you were nothing, and in a way, you were nothing. Your body was already pushed to limits you’d never experienced before, and the night was far from over, as you’d find three hours and a broken box spring later. You weren’t sure at what point you’d fallen asleep–or maybe passed out was more like it–but when you awoke the next morning well past nine o’clock, your body was almost too sore to move as quickly as you needed it to.

“Good morning, babe,” Homelander greeted as you shuffled into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as if he owned the place.

“Homelander, I’m going to be late—“

“No you’re not. I already called in for you, let ‘em know you’re taking a sick day. We can keep the little white lie between us,” he said, with a mischievous smile and a wink.

“Oh,” was all you managed as you sat at the table, a wrapped breakfast sandwich and cup of coffee from the bagel shop you stopped in every morning was sitting neatly at your place. “You picked up breakfast?”

“It’s the least I can do after you made dinner last night. By the way, the people over there wanted me to tell you congrats when I let them know the good news.”

“Good news?”

“Your promotion,” he said, as if it were obvious. “You’ll be reporting directly to me from now on, take out all of the bureaucratic bullshit between us.”

“Thank you,” you said, voice shaky and uncertain.

He pursed his lips. “I’d expect a little more fucking enthusiasm, but we can work on that.”

“You’re right, I’m just still a little groggy is all,” you said, forcing a smile on your tired face. “Thank you, honey. I appreciate it.”

“There we go,” he said, his quick mood shift almost startling you as he leaned down to give you a kiss. “You know I’m always looking out for you, right, babe?”

You glanced at the dried blood on the other side of the table, where he’d been sitting the previous night. Before you could think too much about it, you widened the fake smile you were giving him. “Of course I do.”

[rvzcvx]

hello!! how are you? i hope it won't be difficult for you to write what i ask, but if it's problematic, just ignore it!

let it be a smut with dom Bill and sub reader, where they are each other's best Internet friends, because Bill is always on trains to concerts. when Bill and the reader arrange for the reader to come to his concert, when Tokio Hotel finally turns up in the city where the reader lives, after the concert, Bill and the reader must meet for the first time, since they had not seen each other live before. when the concert ends and they finally meet, Bill takes the reader to his dressing room, from where all the other band members have already left, and Bill has to wash off his makeup, which he asks the reader to help with, sitting her on his lap, which is why she is so embarrassed, but helps Bill. while taking off his makeup, Bill stares at her lips, and when the makeup is done, he kisses her, and it all turns into a smut.

i hope it doesn't look so bad and is feasible. good luck with that, even if you don't write what i asked for, but something else! have a nice day ;)

i believe in you! <3

ONLINE FRIENDS

pairing: bill x female reader

warnings: smut, dom!bill, sub!reader, kissing, head (fem!receiving), p in v

a/n: i love your request!! i hope youre gonna have a good day too!! i really enjoyed writing this!! you guys can send more requests, i will write them as fast as i can!!

For some time now, I have been texting online with a boy named Bill. He told me a lot about himself and his band, but we never met because he rarely visited the city where i lived.

Currently, I was sitting on my bed and scrolling through Instagram when someone started calling me. When I noticed it was Bill, I answered immediately.

"Hey Bill, what's up?" I asked. “Hey y/n, I wanted to tell you that my band will be having a concert in your city soon!” Bill said. You could hear in his voice that he was smiling.

"Oh my god, really?!" I screamed with excitement and almost started jumping around the room with happiness. "Really! I got you tickets, you'll be in the front row!" Bill said. "Thank you Bill, you are the best! I can't wait to see you!" I said with a big smile on my face.

"I can't wait to see you too!" Bill added. We talked for another half hour until Bill had to end because he had band rehearsals.

Time skip to the day of the concert.

Today is the day I will see the Tokio hotel in real life! I put on a black top, a short denim skirt, white heels and took a silver bag in which I put all the most important things.

I texted Bill that I couldn't wait to see him and left the house and got into a taxi. I gave the driver the address and after 20 minutes I arrived at my destination.

Since I had early access to the entrance, I could skip the entire queue and enter as one of the first to occupy the first row.

After half an hour, there was a crowd here. The concert hall accommodated as many as 50,000 people. As I looked around this huge venue, I didn't notice that the band had finally taken the stage.

Together with other fans, I started screaming and waving at the boys. I made eye contact with Bill and we smiled at each other, and in a moment the first song, durch den monsun, could be heard.

Time skip after the concert.

The concert was wonderful, I sang all the songs and I was very excited to see my online friend.

Finally, when the band left the stage, everyone started to get ready to leave, including me. As I reached the exit, a security guard approached me. "Bill Kaulitz asked you to go backstage, please follow me" The man said and started leading me somewhere where fans wouldn't have access.

We walked through long corridors until we finally stopped in front of a room where another security guard stood and let me in. Bill was sitting on the couch in the room.

When I saw him, I immediately approached him. "God Bill, you're even taller in real life than in the photos" I said and looked up at him, hugging him. "And you're even shorter." He laughed and patted me on the back.

"I have to take off my makeup and then we can go to the hotel. The boys have already gone anyway" He announced and sat down at the table with a mirror. "I can help you if you want" I said and smiled, standing behind him.

"Of course. It will be faster if you help me" Bill replied and smiled too, patting his knee, which probably meant that I should sit on it.

I blushed, but I didn't refuse and I sat on his knee, taking a cotton pad in my hand and starting to remove his makeup. I felt his eyes on my lips the whole time, but I didn't say anything.

When I finished, I smiled. "And it's done" I said, but I felt Bill's hand on my waist as he pulled me closer and kissed me.

At first, I was surprised and didn't know what to do, but after a while I kissed him back and placed my hands on his shoulders.

Bill placed his hands on my buttocks and lifted me up from the chair and placed my back against the table behind us as he continued to kiss me.

He started kissing me lower until he crouched down in front of me. "May I?" He asked, pointing to my skirt. I nodded yes and soon I heard the sound of my skirt falling down.

Bill pulled aside my already wet pink panties and buried his head in my folds. "Ahhh, Bill!" I screamed, grabbing his hair and pinning my legs on either side of his head.

"Fuck, you're so wet for me" He said, plunging his tongue into me. When I felt his cold piercing, I moaned loudly. "Bill, I can't, oh" I gasped, grabbing his hair in pleasure.

Bill continued, holding my thigh with one hand and rubbing circles on my clit with the other. Finally I felt a knot forming in my stomach and I cummed on his tongue. "Ahh, I'm cumming!" I moaned.

Bill just smiled and stood up, kissing me again. I felt his tongue, which still had some of my juices on it, and smiled into his lips.

"It's not over yet" He said and started to unbuckle his belt. I smiled and helped him take off his pants, steadying myself on the table with one hand.

He pulled down his pants along with his boxers and that's when I saw how big he was. My eyes widened and I swallowed. Bill pulled a small bottle of lube from his bag and spread it over his length.

After a while I felt him at my entrance. Bill grabbed my hips and kissed me. "Are you ready?" He asked. "Yes please" I said and grabbed his back, impaling myself on his cock.

We both moaned at the same time and Bill started moving. "You're so tight, god" He said. "Don't stop!" I said, feeling tears come to my eyes.

He quickened his pace, gripping my hips tightly and placing soft kisses on my neck. "Fuck Bill!" I screamed, digging my nails into his back and clenching my pussy around his cock.

"I'm about to cum" Bill panted, lowering his head to my shoulder. "Me too, oh my god" I moaned and felt that knot forming in my stomach again.

Bill pushed a few more times and finally he came inside me, and a moment later I came, with a loud moan. My tears fell onto his shirt and my nails dug into his back, leaving red marks on it.

We both put our clothes back on and then cleaned up the mess we had left. "We can go back to the hotel now" Bill said and kissed me.

[strniohoeee]

Dolor Pt. 2

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N hasn’t seen Chris in a year and a half, but with the help of her friend she’s surprised by them🤭 Will those feelings still be there for one another?

Warnings⚠️: None, I’m not too sure how I feel about this one, but I had no other idea on how to write it so I hope y’all enjoy 🙃

Song for the imagine: ANGEL- Brent Faiyaz

Read part 1 here🫶🏽

Don’t ever leave my side, baby I’ll die

But from what I know, you’re always here to stay

You’re an angel in disguise

It has been a solid year and half since Chris and I broke up, a solid year and half of never seeing him or his brothers. It was very hard, but it also flew by. I wasn’t sure where a year and half went. It was honestly scary.

We both told each other we’d love to cross paths, and reconnect in a few months to be friends, but life got in the way, and that never happened. I’m honestly glad it didn’t, we were both so busy I believe it helped us move on from one another faster.

We all stood mutuals with each other on instagram and TikTok, but we just didn’t interact with each other. I watched them grow in all aspects, and it was amazing. I thought I’d be there to witness it first hand, but instead I was watching from the sidelines….it hurt me, but it had to be done.

My TikTok was flooded with videos of them from their tour they were just on, and it’s honestly crazy how much people can change in a year and a half. That didn’t even look like Chris. He was much more mature looking, sculpted cheekbones, shorter hair, stubble on his face…..Chris was looking good.

I shook that feeling off because I could not allow myself to fall back in love with Chris. It took me a long time to move on from him. I will always love the kid, but to fall out of love was hard. I hadn’t seen or talked to any other guys since splitting with Chris, and I wasn’t too sure if that was the same with him. Deep down I hoped it was.

I was scrolling on TikTok one day when I saw a clip of the triplets from their recent podcast video, they were doing a Q and A video, and somehow Chris pulled out a question asking about me. I decided to watch the video

“Okay so this person says how’s Y/N, and how have you been since the breakup. I’m currently going through my own break up right now, and I just need some advice” Chris read out

“So uh this is a good question. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve last seen Y/N, and it’s crazy to say it’s been that long, but it has. With the relationship we had and how special it was it took me a full year to finally be able to feel okay, and understand why we split up. It hurt and some part of me still hurts, but we told each other the night we broke up that we both will be okay because we’re strong, and that’s something I’ve been holding on to. I presume that she’s okay, I’ve seen her instagram posts and her TikTok’s, and she looks amazing. I actually really miss the girl. So I hope she’s doing great, and for you going through your break up just know everything happens for a reason and you’ll be okay take your time and work on yourself” he said

Oh god this was making it so hard for me not to call Chris and ask to see him….I missed him so badly

I scrolled some more and another clip popped up

“This person wants to know do you still love Y/N” Nick asked Chris

“Oh 100% that woman is my everything. Like we’ve said in the past we hope to cross paths again” Chris said nodding his head

This has to be a sign? Like this has to be a sign that I have to see him, that Chris and I are meant for each other right? Or am I being delusional……

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to call him, text him or just ignore all this and keep it pushing in life. I felt torn between my decisions

Today I was getting ready to film with Larray and Arrington. I had gotten so close to them within the last year, and we always filmed together. Larray was my biggest supporter in all this, and he was also friends with the triplets which kind of made it hard, but he never got in between anything. Although he hoped and prayed that we’d get back together one day I always told him time will tell.

He had an idea where we all stay in his car for 24 hours with special guests. I wasn’t sure who these guests were, and I wasn’t sure why he wanted us to stay in a car for 24 hours, but I agreed I knew it would be fun.

I had driven over to Larrays house, and let myself in

“YOOOOO” I yelled from the door

“Were in hereeee” Arrington yelled back

Oh god I was the last one here….I hated this, but anyways I walked to Larrays room, and when I walked in my heart sank

“Oh” was all I said as I walked in

“Hiiiii baby” Larray said, causing everybody to turn around with him the triplets face dropping

“What’s? Uh….whats going on” I said looking at Larray

“We’re filming a video, and I brought my friends” he said back

“It’s been so long” Chris said looking at me saddened

“It ummm it has” I said smiling at him

“We have missed you so fucking much….holy shit” Nick said running over and hugging me

“Uhh it’s been so fucking long I missed yall too” I said hugging him

“Matt you look so different now” I said jaw dropping and giving him a hug

“Good different I hope” he said hugging me

“Of course good different” I said laughing at him

I moved to Chris

“You look so different too” I said pulling him in for a hug

“I’ve missed you” he said hugging me tighter

“Missed you too” I said pulling away

After chatting for a bit Larray decided to film his introduction for his channel

“Alright bitches we are filming a 24 hour car video today, and of course I had to bring in my ride or dies Arrington and Y/N” he said and both Arrington and I made an entrance

“And then you know Larray had to stir the pot, so he brought the triplets” Arrington said to the camera causing us to laugh

“As uhhh most of you know there’s uh an elephant in this room between uh two people, but ummm we won’t talk about it” Larray said

And we just laughed at him

“You are so messy” I said to him rolling my eyes playfully

“Alright let’s get to the car bitches” he said and we ran out

I sat in the passenger seat, Chris and Arrington in the back, and then Nick and Matt in the third row

“Alright so right now we’re driving to Target which is 45 minutes away because Larray decided to do this video during rush hour” I said to the camera

“Uh- is that a drag?” He asked me

“It sure is” I said to him

“So Y/N….you said Matt looks different….you already had Chris so will you try another brother” Arrington asked me

I looked back at him jaw on the floor, as Chris and his brothers were laughing

“You weirdo Arrington, I will not fucking get with Matt” I said shaking my head

“Could you believe this kid” I said looking at the camera

“Ouuuu the fans want to know how many boyfriends since Chris” Larray asked me

“Boyfriends plural? Do they think I’m a slut….its only been a year and a half guys, and there’s been zero guys since Chris” I said shrugging my shoulders

“OHHHHHH CHRISSSS” Larray and Arrington yelled at him hyping him up

“She loves me too much to do that” Chris said to the camera

“Uh-“ I said turning around to look at him

“I’m just kidding” he said and touched my face playfully

“SAW THAT” Nick and Matt yelled from the back

We had finally gotten to Target, and Chris and I were paired up to go on the hunt for some things, and we had to vlog it together

“Alright guys I’m here with uh….my ex” I said to the camera

“What a great reunion” he said looking at the camera

“Who would’ve thought a year and a half later we’d be in Target shopping for a video together” I said looking at him

“I honestly thought it would’ve happened sooner, but I mean hey” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Oh whatever” I said rolling my eyes at him

Him and I were doing some shopping and grabbing some stuff, and we had found ourselves in the coloring book aisle

“Look the Disney coloring book, your favorite” he said leaning down to grab it

“You remembered?” I asked him

“Of course I did, and you only get specific coloring pencils cause you’re weird” he said laughing

“Hey don’t be mean” I said laughing at him

“It’s cute” he said smiling at me

“Do you ever think about us?” I asked him

“Pretty often actually” he said looking at me

“Do you think you see a future with me” I asked him

“I’ve thought about this a lot, and every time I picture my future you’re a main character in it” he said looking into my eyes

“This year and a half has been rough, and I so badly wanted nothing more than to cave and call you over, and just hold you tight” I said looking down

“I sat in my room for so many nights wondering if the decision I made was right, and after a while I just became numb to the feeling, but I want this again….I want us” he said

“I think we should start slow first. I want us to truly work out this time no break ups no nothing” I said to him

“I think so too, you should come film with us again we miss you so much, and the fans miss you too” he said

“I’ve seen…all over my tik tok” I said smiling at him

“Yeah they love you and I love you too so much” he said pulling me in for a hug

We finished vlogging some, and headed back to the car with everybody getting back in our original seats

“Okay everybody we are back, we’re going to go eat something and then we’ll be back in the car for the next 24 hours” Larray said

After we ate we went back into Larrays car trying to stick out this challenge and just chatting with each other asking each other questions

“How many girlfriends since Y/N?” Larray asked Chris

“None. I told yall she’s the love of my life” he said looking at the camera

“Awww Chris” I said looking at him

“HEY CITY GIRLS UP. Do not fall for this” Arrington said

“Shut the fuck up” I said laughing at him

“What’s one regret you have” Nick asked us

“I think my biggest regret was completely dropping you guys out of my life. Like no interactions no nothing that hurt the most” I said to them

“We appreciate that” Matt said

“How do you guys feel after seeing each other” Matt asked Chris and I

“Is this a hot seat? What are we doing” Chris said

“Shut the fuck up and answer” Nick said

“I feel at peace, like seeing him was the last piece to my puzzle. I still love Chris of course, and we’re hoping to take things slow, and eventually get together again” I said to them

“Yeah. I love her so much, and seeing her today brought back all those memories. Memories that made my heart flutter, and I knew I couldn’t let her go again” he said looking at me

“Yall cute as shit this has got to stop” Larray said

“So yall heard it here first they are back together” Arrington said to the camera

“WOAH WOAH NO” we both said putting our hands out

“We are taking it slow…we are not dating yet, and trust me you guys will know when we’re back together. It’s a maybe for right now” I said to the camera

“But she will be in our videos again” Chris said

“SHE WILL?” Nick and Matt said

“Yes she will!” He said to them

“FUCK YES FINALLY” Nick said getting excited

We had chatted for a good thirty more minutes before we decided this challenge was not going to happen

“Alright guys we did not make it, but we love you and we’re heading inside now” Larray said

“BYEEEEEE” we all yelled to the camera, Chris pulling me in and kissing my forehead

“Are you guys going to soft launch your comeback before I post this?” Larray asked us

“You know that’s not a bad idea actually” I said looking at Chris

“We could do that. I’d love to do that” he said pulling me in and kissing my cheek

“Yall soft launching but he smoochin on you” Matt said looking at us

“Uhhhh mind your business” Chris said sticking his tongue out at him

“OMG to keep it like private you guys could do like a couples shadow picture” Nick said

“Waittttt I love that let’s do it” I said to Chris

We had snapped the picture, and Chris posted it collabing with me once again so I can post and share it. Nick and Matt also shared it to their story saying the gangs back together and they can’t wait to film with me again. Immediately the love we got was INSANE

❤️nicolassturniolo,matthew.sturniolo,larray, and 450,000 others

christophersturniolo: I told you guys we’d always always find a way back to one another. Although we aren’t dating again we will be thinking about it for our future. I love this girl with my whole fucking heart, and I’m so glad we’re in each others lives again. She was my right person at the wrong time.My number one girl💍. Were back BITCHESSSSS🥳

Sturnioloteam: STFU THEYRE BACK

arringtonallen: mhmmm I was here for this picture so back off everyone

nicolassturniolo: mama and papa🫡

matthew.sturniolo: yall cute or whatever…..

larray: yall can thank me for this reunion MHMM💅🏽

Y/Nusername: my number one guy…love this kid so much💋

sturnioloooooo: I knew mom and dad would find each other again

The immense love we received was insane. Had you told me a year and a half ago today that all that pain would be gone, and we would find each other again I would laugh in your face. I guess I am making it to the end of his story….🥀

The End

I hope you guys liked this one I feel ehhh about it, but I had to have a happy ending🥹 but anywho let me get to writing some more 🖤

-J💅🏽

[cherryxcadbury]

Hey i hope you doing well? <3 i would like to request something with Jude where the reader go on the pitch after a game and celebrate his goal with the team (Dortmund)

The whistle blew and you and your friends let out a sigh of relief. Dortmund was still in the title race after this 2-1 win, with Jude scoring the winning goal.

“That man could bring me to this knees with just that arm band, dunno how you’re still functioning Y/N.” Heidi, your best friend, whispered.

You laughed at Heidi’s antics with Lexi, Gio Reyna’s girlfriend.

“You’ll have to tell him that yourself Heidi.” You responded.

“Oh trust me I will.” She winked at you, making you squirm at her unapologetic-ness.

Sometimes, you aspired to be like her.

A man from the Dortmund staff came up to the three of yous then spoke in German, to which you and Lexi blushed in embarrassment, not knowing the language.

“He said we can go down onto the field. Come on!” Heidi led the way, flashing a smile at the staff you all passed on the field.

The three of you walked through the extremely large pitch, dodging ongoing interviews and moping Frankfurt players. The immediate sight of the yellow wall from the pitch made you smile. BVB fans were truly the greatest.

“Y/N! They’re talking about you!” Lexi whispered to you and Heidi.

You immediately whipped your head around and turned to see fans in the row closest to the pitch waving to you.

“Why are they waving?” You asked.

“Just listen.” Heidi smirked.

“Look it’s Jude Bellingham’s girlfriend!” They squealed.

“Y/N! May I have a picture!!”

“Y/N i follow you on Instagram!!”

They shouted and shrieked hoping they’d get your attention. You were awestruck, they were like fans. You, Heidi, and Lexi just laughed, smiled, and waved.

“This is gonna be my be real!” Lexi squealed, jogging over to the fans.

Heidi turned to say something to you before a thick German accent interrupted you.

It was some guy on Frankfurt’s staff based on his outfit, he held an easy smirk. He looked way too old for yours and Heidi’s teenage selves. He was probably 35 at youngest.

“Ladies. Hallo.” He smiled at the two of you.

Heidi smiled, responding in German while you just gave him a tight nod.

He chatted up Heidi, you watching in amusement, and Heidi as well keeping the conversation with a glint of amusement in her eyes. You’d been friends with Heidi for long enough to know what Heidi always knew peoples true intentions. And the raise of her eyebrows at you meant that she was telling you the man was interested in you.

So you were not surprised at all when the man, with an even wider smirk, turned to you and held his hand out as an introduction. With everyone watching you opted to be polite and went into shake his hand.

However, he instead took it and brought it up to his lips, still smirking. You quickly pulled your hand away and shot him an annoyed look.

“Listen. My name’s Christian, I work for Frankfurt. Wanted to know if you were interested in grabbing a coffee then heading back to my place.” He gave you a sickening smile.

This man was forward.

“Are you blind Christian! One, she’s too young for you. Two, look at the fucking Bellingham kit. She’s taken.” Heidi came to your defense.

“Listen. I don’t see Bellingham here! He doesn’t have to know.” Christian smiled.

“Get the hell away from us.” You glared at Christian, already looking around from security.

Christian’s eyes darkened.

“I have a much higher status here than both of you. So listen you who—” Christian started before being cut off.

“I’d best not finish that sentence if I were you mate.” A voice spoke from behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.

Jude.

Christian was several inches shorter and scrawnier than Jude.

“Uh Mr. Bellingham I wasn’t aware that she was actually your girlfri—”

“Just scram.” Heidi glared.

And with that, Christian was gone.

You let out a sigh of relief while Heidi went after him with Karim Adeyemi to go and terrorize Christian.

“You alright love.” Jude asked pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

You nodded, twisting your head to make eye contact with him.

“I could’ve dealt with him Judekins. Or at least Heidi could have.” You gave him a teasing smile.

“Yeah but where’s the fun in that? I like being able to show people that you’re mine.” Jude winked at you.

You were about to kiss him when you were interrupted by huffing and puffing. You and Jude looked forward to see Karim panting and Heidi smirking.

“How. Do you run so fast?” Karin barely managed to get out.

“Karim mean freund, it’s a talent.” Heidi winked, scanning her nails.

“Heidi beat you in a foot race.” You stated knowingly.

Karim’s breathing had steadied by now.

“Yeah we were chasing after that Frankfurt guy. How the fuck is she so fast.” Karim groaned.

“So you guys caught up to him?” Jude asked.

“Oh yeah. Managed to threaten him and everything.” Heidi over annunciated.

“Anyways we’ll leave you two now. And remember Jude, Y/N loves men in arm bands. Especially when they’re captains.” Heidi winked before scurrying away.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind then.” Jude smirked down at you, a blush coating your cheeks.

“That was a nice goal you had Bellingham.” You teased him.

“It was dedicated to my biggest fan.” He smiled.

“Your mum’s not here today though.” You smiled innocently.

“I hate you.” He grumbled, burrowing his face into your shoulder.

“You have some eager fans waiting there.” You pointed out.

“They can wait.” He mumbled.

“Jude….” You stressed his name in the way his mum did when she was upset.

“Oh fine. But you’re coming with me.” He tugged you along.

“I’m so proud of you.” You held eye contact before going over to the fans.

“My girl. I love you Y/N.”

[davidmariottecomics]

Goodbye IDW! Hello Something New!

Hi there! 

After seven years and some change, today, 12/22/2023, is my last day at IDW Publishing. It's for good reasons. Things just timed out that my last day could be the last work day of the year for IDW and in the new year, I'll be starting a new job elsewhere. I'll still be in comics and once I can talk about the new gig, I'm really stoked to be letting you all know. So, today, I want to say my goodbye to IDW. 

But first, before I get to that, I did have something else notable happen this week. I sent my last tweet!  I'm officially shutting down my Twitter at the end of the year and if you see a Twitter account claiming to be me after January 1st, it's an imposter. If you'd like to keep up with me, however, I've got good news! There are lots of other ways to find me still. Here are a few! 

Check out and bookmark my website! Get access to my blog, plus lots of behind the scenes stuff and new projects at my Patreon!  Subscribe to a newsletter version of my blog for free at Buttondown!  Follow my blog on Tumblr!  Keep up with my main socials: Bluesky and Instagram (I'm @davidmariotte at both)! 

Okay, with that out of the way, let's talk about it. This is not my first time saying goodbye. In fact, almost exactly a year ago, I said my farewells to Transformers, one of the hallmarks of my IDW run. I don't want to revisit that too much, so if you want to read about my early days at IDW or that part of my career or a big list of thank yous to my collaborators, you can! And while I've had significant runs with other books, most notably Sonic the Hedgehog which with January's Sonic: Fang the Hunter #1 will mark 100 issues of Sonic at IDW under my editorial eye, or my personally exciting, if shorter runs on stuff like Godzilla, Samurai Jack, the Hasbro Action books, Canto, Scarenthood, The Kill Lock, The October Faction, Wynonna Earp, Brynmore, Atomic Robo, or literally so many other books, I don't want this to just be a retrospective on the work. In fact, I'm largely not interested in talking about the past when I say goodbye this time. 

IDW has afforded me a lot. They've helped me find my place in the industry. They let me do some writing. They let me do a lot of editing. I learned various other skills both through directly on the course of the job and through my own interest because of what I was doing and seeing there. I have made true lifelong friendships. And I have made comics. So leaving feels weird. I'm very bummed to be leaving a place that really has been my home (and for the past couple of years, has quite literally been mostly at my home) for so long. But I am even more excited about what's to come. On my side, I can't announce it just yet, but watch this space for some big news soon (after a couple weeks of much needed vacation). 

Talking about the future I actually can say a little more about, I wanna tell you how excited I am for IDW. Yes, I'm leaving, but IDW remains home to so many people--both at the company and our freelance creators--and so many projects that are close to my heart. Next year is their 25th anniversary. That is an impressive feat in not just the world of comics, but any industry. For the milestone, they've got a lot of cool stuff planned. 

I'm not going to blow up IDW's spot and say anything about what's coming up too early. Just to talk about the things that are already public knowledge, you've got things like the new TMNT: The Last Ronin sequel! The TMNT ongoing on it's road to issue #150! There are cool new originals like Golgotha Motor Mountain! There's the launch of the aforementioned Fang the Hunter which is IDW's first Classic Sonic mini-series and sees 100 unique issues of Sonic at IDW and is just laugh-out-loud funny and full of such good action! And I'll tease this, when the Sonic ongoing is back with issue #69 in May, you'll be in for an absolute treat as that series runs up to #75! 

I know some readers of this blog don't read a ton of American direct market comics. You aren't "Wednesday Warriors" who go to the comic shop every week. You like the comics you like and I've been graced to be a person working on those comics. If you aren't as familiar with how these comics work, let me assure you of a couple things. The books I was editing and many unannounced projects that I set up will still be happening. Because of the timelines of comic production, you'll still see my name in IDW books for a few more months and, at the same time, you'll see new credits creeping in. And if we've done everything right, that'll be about the only thing you'll notice is different, at least at first. As the editors really take the reins and take over, we'll both be in for the treat of the unknown! I'll be reading them with a good sense of professional jealousy. 

Now, there's one other book that has been announced for next year and I wanted to do a special call out for. Godzilla: Valentine's Day Special went to press this week. It's the last IDW book I saw all the way from inception to completion. And, in many ways, it's kind of a really good analogy of a comics editorial career. I think, genuinely, this may be the book that went from conception to reality the fastest in my career. I think it took... less than a week from a half-joking suggestion of doing a Godzilla Valentine's Day book to getting Zoe Tunnell's pitch in and approved by Toho and getting it on the publishing schedule. Usually these things take a bit--people are working on other projects, licensors need time to review things, whatever other bumps happen along the way--but this was like lightning. Everyone just got it instantly. And then Zoe turned in the script and it was great! Things continued, as they do, and then... we got a curveball or two. I won't go into too much detail, but major thanks to Sebastian Piriz and Rebecca Nalty for getting it done and having a book that we were all so proud of that I could send to press this week. And it struck me on that final press day that despite the curveballs we had been thrown, when it came to actually getting it approved, everything was so easy, straightforward, and smooth. When you read it in February, if I've done my job right, maybe you'll remember seeing somewhere that there were some curveballs. But mostly, you'll just have a really good book in your hands. (BTW, you did JUST MISS the final order cutoff on that, so do check in with your shop about still trying to get you a copy!) 

Most of the time, after a book like that goes to press, an editor gets ready to do it again--maybe in a few minutes or days or the next week. For the first time in a long time, I won't be getting ready to do it again at IDW. That's a complicated feeling, but I'm so excited for the future. 

The best metaphor I've been able to come up with for what is happening is it's like I've been working in a one room office constantly for the past seven years. It's got that dull office lighting, you know the kind. Each day, projects come and go across my desk, and as they otherwise disappear into the world, I put up one of those glow-in-the-dark stars as a memory of it. And each day, I work with so many people--my coworkers at IDW who've helped foster my growth, my collaborators as both a writer and editor who have made so many stories with me, all the folks where things never quite lined up but we kept trying, and the readers who are an inherent part of the ecosystem, the reason we make what we do. And so, for each of those people, I put up a little glow in the dark toy. 

Now, for the first time, I'm going to get up and leave the office. As I flick the switch behind me, everything in there that has been soaking up light for years now glows. Some of the glows are slight. Some are so fantastically bright, it feels like they're drawing attention through the walls of the room. Together, they make the room brighter than it was when I left. Now, sometimes, I might sneak in to borrow a toy--make a copy of it for the new office I'm doing the same thing in. Other people will certainly do the same and make they've got their Evan Stanley figure on their shelf. If I ever return for a longer time, I'll be so glad to flick the light back on and let them all absorb even more light to glow an even longer time. If I don't, I rest happy that the glow goes on and forever people will be able to come back and discover some part of it. And I'll start working on a new office soon. 

If I keep going,  I'm a little afraid that I won't be able to stop. So, for now, I'll just say again, thank you. The future is about to be very exciting. Next year is for the creators you love or don't know you love yet, the books that are going to light you up that you've come to expect and the ones that will catch you by total surprise. While there are a lot of things I'm going to miss deeply and books that I'm going to wish I had gotten to do more on, I also have the really exciting experience of getting to see this stuff as a fan of IDW, just like you. And, hey, I hope you'll be a fan of the stuff I do next too! 

As for next steps, like I've said, I'm not going far. I'll still be in comics. I'll share the news when I can.

Before that, I'm getting a little break. Not too long, just a few weeks, and obviously the holidays are part of those, but in my time between my jobs, I'm going to be working on some personal projects. I put together a little tracking list recently and I have something like 40 projects in various stages of gestation right now. Obviously, I'm not going to be working on all of those at once, and chances are, some of them will never see the light of day, but I'm going to be working on trying to bring a couple of them to you in the new year (and beyond). If you're an artist that I've had the pleasure of working with in the past and you think you might be interested in peeping the list and seeing what we could do together, let me know. You can reach me on my website contact page, through my email, or through Discord (feel free to ask if you don't have it!). 

And if you read this blog, you'll see me hyping my last IDW projects up until we run out of what I left behind. Simultaneously, once I've got stuff to start hyping up for my personal projects and for the new gig, you'll see those start to pop up here too! I'll also keep talking about making comics and my thoughts on the state of the world and whatever else it is I blog about here on a regular basis! 

Thanks for reading. Bye-DW! Next week, I'll be doing a little Best of 2023. But for now, onto our regular features. 

What I enjoyed this week: Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), Reverse 1999 (Video Game), Nancy (Comic), Lego Masters (TV show), Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror (Short story collection), Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Links (Video Game), Cunk on Earth (TV show), I'm a Virgo (TV show), The Boy and the Heron (Movie), an easy last week at IDW, all the well-wishes that've already poured in, leaving today to celebrate Christmas with my family and then have some downtime to work on my stuff, signing the paperwork for the new job, not being on Twitter anymore, getting all of our mail out in a timely fashion for the holidays, Chainsaw Man (Manga), I picked up Superman and Hawkgirl, so excited to get caught up on those, and knowing that in leaving this job, there are certain folks I just get to deepen my relationships with as friends, instead of co-workers. 

New Releases this week (12/20/2023): Godzilla: The War for Humanity #3 (Editor) Godzilla Rivals: Jet Jaguar vs. Megalon (Editor)

Announcements: The Cartoonist Cooperative is still doing E-Sim cards for Gaza. You can donate a digital sim card so that residents can get access to the internet and have more functional phones and, in exchange, get some comics or a drawing or whatever else is available from the many participating artists. Additionally, the CC is hosting their mini-comic awards! It's a cool way to maybe get your mini-comic recognized and make some scratch!

You can also give more directly. If you don't have money, and I get it, you can call or fax or email or show up at the offices of your representatives. Keep your eyes open for actions too, whether they're another general strike or demonstrations and marches in your area. Given the nature of the things, they often come together fairly quickly, so do exercise your due diligence. Also, of course, being informed and just giving your time to Palestinian journalists and writers is incredibly valuable. 

While Becca has got some things brewing for next year (and now on a schedule), you should reach out if you'd like to work on comics with them! You can find their gallery on their website and also, y'know, maybe pick up a few things for belated gifts while you're there!

Finally, I called out my Patreon earlier. You can support me (and boy, that would be cool during the time between paychecks because vacation is nice, but living is still expensive) and get not just this blog, but a lot of cool special features like extra posts, comics, infographics, and more! At the $10+ levels, you can also access stuff like a holiday gift guide I made, a podcast pilot for a spicy show with Becca, and a ton more! 

Pic of the Week: Happy holidays from Becca and me! If you wanna full card in your inbox, lemme know! 

[aruanimess]

Mikahisu + lifting the shorter one up so they can be seen in photos

Quiet acts of love prompts

Hello, Al!!! Thanks for the prompt 🥰

~~~

When Mikasa first heard of a carnival being thrown in town, two things came to mind: tacky tents and screaming children.

The others didn't agree with her estimate, though, and lo and behold here she was, a couple days later, surrounded by a rainbow of colors and gaggles upon gaggles of kids. Thankfully, they weren't screaming as much as she'd expected. The decor wasn't as obnoxious either, but had a fetching, old-timey charm that captured the eye. The music helped complete the mood, too.

Armin and Annie had abandoned them the minute they set foot on the grounds. They wanted to visit the Haunted House for some cheap thrills and no one else was inclined to join them. Reiner and Jean were having a shooting contest in one of the stalls, competing over who would win a toy for the other first. While Sasha, Nicolo and Connie never even made it in. They got stuck at the food trucks lining the perimeter.

And then, there was Historia.

In her frilly, floral top and her baby-pink overalls, she blended in among the crowd of festive carnival-goers. She was fleeting from stall to stall, playing each game and trying each ride whose line she deemed short enough. A huge grin was plastered on her face the entire time and childlike wonder was shining in her eyes.

"Carnivals never stopped by where I grew up," she had explained in the beginning.

It made sense. Historia was raised in the countryside, much like Mikasa. Not in a village or a small town, but in a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Again, like Mikasa.

Where their stories differed, however, was that Historia had no close friends in the city to stay over at summertime, and never really got to attend fairs, concerts or theater productions.

She was also homeschooled. So it was really no wonder that her first time experiencing a funfair was during her college years.

Mikasa shuffled awkwardly along wherever Historia dragged her to. Her only contribution to the evening being the two cones of cotton candy she insisted on buying them. And she was right to insist, she thought as she watched Historia picking tufts of spun sugar from the lavender cloud, almost bigger than her head, and placing them delicately on her tongue.

"They asked me to volunteer for this," said Historia as they passed the dunk tank. She gazed at the girl in the already dripping tank top manning the booth. "But I refused."

Mikasa bit off a bundle of floss from her cotton candy and nodded. "Me too."

Historia lowered her eyes, almost in shame. "I feel guilty. It's for a good cause."

The dunk tank profits were supposed to go to a charity. Their uni would manage the earnings. Something about funds for a children's hospital.

"It is," said Mikasa and left it at that. No matter the cause, she wasn't interested in having thousands of people ogling at her tits, and she had no delusions about the purpose of the tank. Unless there was a professor perched up there, waiting to be sunk, there was only one motive: wet, semi-dressed women.

Historia continued without prompting: "I just didn't feel comfortable, sitting there like a prize to mark someone's victory. Not to mention the outfit..." she trailed off, picking at her cotton floss miserably.

Mikasa squeezed her arm. "You shouldn't endure something that distresses you for any reason. No matter how noble."

She smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Mikasa." She glanced at the girl at the tank. Her top was plastered to her torso, revealing a bright red bra underneath, and she was shivering, but the grin on her lips seemed genuine enough. Historia wrinkled her nose. "And it's kinda sexist, isn't it?"

"It is," confirmed Mikasa. "But she doesn't seem to mind."

Historia broke out in a fit of giggles. Then she stopped abruptly as her eyes widened. "I know what we should do!" she said. "We should share a story on Instagram telling people to come over and try their luck. This way we help raise funds without actively participating!"

She looked so excited, how could Mikasa say no?

"Hey, ladies!" called a voice. They turned to see Jean approaching with Reiner in tow. Reiner was holding an obnoxiously large dinosaur plushie.

It was Jean that had spoken. "Guess who won?" He preened.

"Was it Reiner?" Mikasa decided to play along.

Jean gasped in betrayal and Reiner sniggered.

Historia stepped in, bouncing on her feet giddily. "Oh, it doesn't matter! Jean, Reiner, will you make a story with us? We'll encourage people to come try the dunking booth!"

Reiner scratched his stubble. "Sure. It's for the oncology wing in St. Jude's, right?"

"That's right!"

Jean shrugged. "Okay then. If it's for a good cause." He winked at Reiner. "Plus, I'll get to show off my skills as a provider, too."

"I'm not getting caught with this on video," said Reiner, lifting the plushie. Jean pouted.

"Oh, come on, Reiner. It's gonna be cute!" Historia insisted.

Mikasa was only too happy to let this unfold without her input, but Historia wanted the plushie in the story, and what Historia says, goes. She fixed him with a look. "Reiner."

He rolled his eyes in response. "Fine. Whatever. What do we say in this story of yours?"

Jean and Historia lapsed into an animated debate over what their message would be. This time Mikasa stayed in her lane and didn't chip in. Once they figured it out, though, another issue emerged.

When Historia was holding the phone, the frame wasn't wide enough to catch Reiner and Jean's faces. When Jean held the phone instead and angled it way above their heads, Historia looked like a dwarf and Mikasa's cleavage was visible down to her belly-button.

"We want it to attract people, but not like that," remarked Jean, frowning at the screen.

Mikasa couldn't agree more. Then, it hit her.

"Reiner," she said. "Hold Historia's cotton candy."

"Can't Jean do it? I'm already holding the dino."

"Jean will take the picture. You get the candy."

"And what will you hold?"

It was as good an opening as any. Mikasa marched to Historia and squatted in front of her, urging her to climb on her back.

Historia blushed brilliantly. "Um," she bit her lip, "Mikasa... Are you sure?"

Mikasa glanced at her over her shoulder and smiled with an encouraging nod. Historia didn't need another nudge. She scaled up her back and looped her arms around her neck. She let out an adorable squeak when Mikasa hoisted her up in a confident piggy back ride.

Jean angled the phone properly and started recording. They all recited the little zinger Jean and Historia had composed with huge smiles straining their cheeks.

Mikasa paid it no mind, repeating the lines on autopilot. Her eyes were glued to Historia's mirror image on the screen above her own shoulder. Flushed to her neck, eyes shy, her glossy lip caught between her teeth, Historia was gazing at her side profile with a smitten look on her face.

Heat rushed to her own face and her stomach fluttered with unexpressed emotions. Maybe carnivals weren't so bad after all.

[cheesysoup-arlo]

(not yet) Naked (but) in Manhattan (pt. 1)

Janis x reader

A/N: some of the words in here are exactly what it says in the song so full credit to that I did not come up with those parts

Turning your phone off of airplane mode and you had a few notification, one stood out to you at the bottom, a voicemail?

*voicemail from “Art cutie🎨”*

You decide to pop in your headphones to give it a listen

“Hey it’s Janis I know you just landed and I know you’re probably busy but I would love to see you so call me when you can”

Janis…your mind drifts back to your first time meeting her, exactly two months ago at the art exhibition back in California, it was a college student art exhibition for a few chosen students from different states to display their art. Getting the email that you were chosen and getting a free trip to California was awesome. You met so many amazing artists and you met this one person, Janis ‘Imi’ike. The prettiest person you’ve ever met, she was nice and helped you set up your display. After the event you to exchanged contact information to stay in contact given the fact you lived in different states from each other. Over the two months you two had gotten close, it felt different than any other friendship or even relationship you’d ever been in. She sends you good morning texts and good night texts which makes you have this warm fuzzy feeling that’s totally not a crush. You had a trip to New York planned for about 5 months now, when you made the plans you only knew one person living there, Damian Hubbar, you met him when you were working on set design on your last trip out here which was a work trip, he told you about his friend and shockingly you ended up meeting her without Damian, you’re snapped out of your trip down memory lane when you bump into someone “oh my gosh I’m so sorry” you say picking up your phone from the ground and you look up to see “Damian! What are you doing here man” you say a little surprise to find him at the airport “girl I’m here to pick you up, did you not get my text?” Damian said a little confused “oh shoot yeah sorry I saw it” you say remembering that Damian had sent to a few text “well let’s go bitch, we’re gonna head to my place to drop off your stuff and I was thinking we could maybe surprise Janis at her new studio, you know with the opening being today” Damian says grabbing one of your bags “oh yes absolutely” You said as you both continued to walk to the exit of the airport.

You guys made a quick stop at Damian’s apartment it was really nice, you dropped off your bags and Damian’s boyfriend decided to join you guys to go see Janis.

The drive was pretty short. The studio was absolutely beautiful, there was a mural at the entrance that you assumed Janis made. “All right we are about 5 minutes early so we can get out and hang out at the front before more people come” Damian said parking the car. There are a few people already there, “Damian omg what took you so long” the shorter of the three girls asks “I’m sorry Gretch I had to pick this one up from the airport” Damian says referring to you, you had seen these girls before but only in Instagram posts and stories “oh is this the famous y/n Janis won’t shut up about?” the tall blonde asks “um uh yeah? It’s nice to meet you guys” you say a little awkward “I’m Regina, this is Karen and-“ “I’m Gretchen” Gretchen says when Regina points at her to introduce herself “Regina, Karen, Gretchen, got it” you say giving them a thumbs up. The doors open to reveal a mildly stressed Janis “psst D, I need your help” Janis whisper yells causing Damian to rush over to her “I can’t reach the pamphlets” she says frustrated “it’s ok tiny gay I’ll save the day” he jokes, Janis rolls her eyes as he hands her the box “thank you, now you have to help pass them out” she says sticking her tongue out at him, you let out a small laugh observing their interaction. “Hey everybody welcome to the official opening of my art studio, thank you all for coming we have a lovely array of art and drinks” winking with the last word “please grab a pamphlet on your way in, they have descriptions of each art piece that I have currently up, when my next few art related events are, and my contact info for commission and other things” Janis says with a smile on her face followed by applause from the people attending. You go in and mingle for a while grabbing a drink and enjoying how amazing the art is, you’re especially drawn to her mix media pieces.

“Y/n? You-you made it? You actually came” Janis says as tears start to well up in her eyes “surprise? I told you I’d be in Manhattan, why wouldn’t I come to your opening?” You say pulling her in for a hug “I don’t know I thought maybe you’d be too tired to come you know jet lag” she says a little embarrassed “you’re right the jet lag is crazy but I wouldn’t want to miss something so important to you, you know I even moved to an early flight for you” you say with a small slightly embarrassed smirk “what! really?” Janis says genuinely surprised “yeah” you say with a nod. You and Janis mingle around and meet some new people until around 6:30pm. “Y’all wanna get tacos and then head to the nice gay bar” Regina suggests “oooo fuck yeah it’s the one by the theater right?” Janis asks “yeah and the really good taco place across the street” Regina says with a nod. You guys head to the taco shop, order and sit down together, you become the topic of conversation “Soooo how’s life, do you have a boyfriend or…girlfriend?” Gretchen asks “Boys suck and girls…I’ve never tried…” you say a little embarrassed about the last part “ooo ok but girls interest you?” Gretchen asks just out of curiosity “Yeah I guess you could say that” if you wanted to be completely honest you would say there’s one girl that interests you and she just so happened to be sitting right texting to you while your lovely new friend probes you with questions “Gretchen?” Regina says “I think you’re scaring her just a little” Regina says in the nicest way she can with a bitchy under tone “oh sorry, I just get excited” Gretchen says “it’s ok” you say forcing a small smile then picking at you chipped nail polish

You guys eat then head to the gay bar. “It smells like glitter and-“ you say “vodka?” Janis interrupts “yeah” you say with a laugh and smile “wanna go dance?” Janis suggests seeing Karen and Gretchen over there already “drinks first then absolutely” you say walking over to the bar you tell him your order and he hands it to you as your about to pay Janis slips him her card and says “put it on my tab” winking at you then ordering a drink herself “you know you didn’t have to do that right” you say “yeah but I wanted to” Janis say looking into your eyes with a kind smile, your face feels a little warm maybe it’s just your drink maybe it’s Janis (it’s definitely Janis) god why did this girl have such an effect on you. You decided to give yourself the limit of one drink, it was a new space with people you didn’t know well yet. Regina pulled you on to the dance floor, “heyyy” Regina said “hi” you said with a small laugh noticing her semi drunk state. You two were dancing close, your back pressed up against your front dancing to the music. Janis watches from the bar, her eyes trace your body from your face all the way down, biting her lip, she looks up at your face again to see that you’ve been watching her too, slightly embarrassed she blushes and looks away. “You know you two would be really cute together” Regina whispers right into your ear, her warm breath startling you slightly “what” you say quickly looking away from Janis “I said you two would be cute together, she talks about you a lot and I’ve never seen her look at someone like that so you’re definitely special” Regina says turning you around to look at her “how long are you here for” Regina ask “well um honestly I don’t have a return date and long as I go back eventually…for like my stuff” you say looking down at your hands, you’ve officially finished college and you honestly aren’t sure what you’re doing next “you really like her don’t ya” Regina says with a giggle “yeah, I do I really do fuck but I’ve never done anything with a girl before like not even kissed” you say embarrassed and realizing this is the first time you’ve admitted your crush on Janis “Y/n you’ll be fine, just be honest with her she love communication” Regina says putting her hand on your shoulder then turning you in the direction of Janis with a small push. “Hey y/n do you um wanna get out of here?” Janis asks “yeah um that would be nice” you say with a small smile “yo D, we’re gonna head out I got us an Uber” Janis says giving Damian a hug “byee see y’all tomorrow” Damian says followed by the rest of the group exchanging farewells. Janis grabs your hand and pulls you outside “we’re heading to my place, do you need anything?” Janis asks “no I’m good” you say fidgeting with your rings, she slides her arm around your waist looking at you to make sure you’re ok, you smile and blush creeps up on to your cheeks “it’s really nice to see you again” she says leaning her head on your shoulder, your breathe becomes a little unsteady, she had such an effect on you and she was barely doing anything. You two got into the Uber and headed to her house the ride was quiet and her hand rested gently on your thigh the whole time, you two would make eye contact often but not say anything.

Finally arriving at her apartment “welcome to my slightly messy home, make yourself comfortable sit literally anywhere” she says as she picks a few things up off the floor, you admire all the art around her house, the finished and unfinished projects “thirsty?, I’ve got water and iced tea” she says opening the fridge “water please” you say, she grabs two bottles of box water (I feel like she’s a box water drinker) “thank you” you say looking up at her from where you’re sitting on the floor (floor is the best place to sit not up for debate) she plops down next to you “how are you?” She asks “I’m really good…I’ve missed you a lot if I’m being honest” you say fidgeting with the cap of your bottle “I’ve missed you too, even with the calling and texting, I really like being around you” she says looking at you with her hand gently resting on your thigh, your skin feels like it’s on fire but in a good way, a light pink dusts your cheeks. You two just look into each other’s eyes for a moment, “um do you wanna stay over?, you can borrow some of my clothes and I have an extra toothbrush” Janis offers “yeah that’s sounds fun, finally hanging out after two months, just the two of us” that last part you say a little more quietly “wanna play a game?” Janis suggests “um sure what do you have in mind” you say a little hesitant “uh I got a couple Nintendo games or I got Jenga and Uno” Janis says “ooo do you have mariokart?” You ask “um yeah of course I have Mariokart” Janis says with a small laugh getting up to turn on the TV and grab the controllers “thank you” you say as she hands you a controller, she sets up the game, you pick your character and car (I’m personally a yoshi person most of the time) and she picks hers. You guys play a few rounds you won twice and Janis has too so now you’re doing a tie breaker “oh I’m totally gonna beat you” Janis says biting her bottom lip to focus, you let out a scoff “you said that last round and lost” your tongue peeking out the side of your lips as you focused on trying to beat her. You win “HA I BEAT YOU” you say standing up and getting close to her, Janis is sitting on the couch, she pulls you close by your belt loops, you get flustered and lose your balance falling on top of her causing her to lay down with you on top of her “woah” you say blushing at how close your face is to her’s “hey cutie” Janis says with a wink

A/N: pt. 2 coming soon (it’s smut lol) also let me know if you want to be added to the tag list <3

Tag list:

@ashecampos

[valeskalikespickles]

OUT OF MY LEAGUE

Request by Anonymous

EVAN BUCKLEY X READER

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: Reader likes Buck and isn't too confident about it. She tends to get jealous. Buck and reader get into an argument.. then booyah idk they want each other. I kind of just wrote out of my ass. But thank you so much for requesting!!

Gender: Female

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Having feelings for my best friend probably wasn’t my smartest idea.. Especially because he is literally the furthest anyone could be out of my league. But I like to torture myself so.. Here we are! I mean I know I’m not ugly per say, but I’m definitely not pretty enough for Buck. 

I was standing with Bobby and Hen when Buck walked over holding his bag over one of his broad shoulders and his phone in the other hand. “Another DXA scan and guess who dropped another half percent?” Buck had a goofy smile on his face and I rolled my eyes. “What?” Hen looked confused but I had been hearing about his stupid obsession over his body fat even though he was literally already perfect. 

“A DXA scan, it measures your body fat.. You can see your percentage in every part of your body.” He said proudly, showing her the screen. “Oh yeah? To measure the fat in your head?” Chimney walked over with a goofy, proud smile on his face. “See that would be funny but right now we’re about a week away from submissions being due for the hot day smoldering nights men of the LAFD wall calendar and I’m already at my goal weight so it seems my head is clearly.. Working perfectly.” I laughed lightly, Hen spoke up.. Rambling about how sexist this whole thing was. 

I zoned out on my phone, another perfect girl showing up on my Instagram feed. God really chooses favorites doesn’t he? Chimney broke me out of my trance, “Okay, that is a beautiful man.” I looked up from my phone to see a newbie, a bit shorter than Buck, brunette, brown eyed, hispanic, the complete opposite of Buck. Alright, why am I comparing them? Buck doesn’t like me like that. “Where’s the lie? And I like girls.” Hen laughed and I snickered as well. “Who the hell is that?” Buck looked almost offended. 

“Buck, you're not getting replaced.. Calm down.” I placed a hand on his arm with a laugh and he rolled his eyes and shrugged my hand off. “That’s Eddie Diaz, new recruit. He graduated top of his class just this week. ” Bobby spoke, hands on his hips as usual like a disappointed mom. “The guys over at station six were dying to have him but I convinced him to join us.” 

“What do we need him for?” Buck almost snapped, gosh this new guy thing was definitely getting to him. I walked away from the conversation with a small laugh. I went over to the kitchen and grabbed some water. Buck showed up soon after, “This guys trying to steal my spot. I can feel it.” 

“No he isn’t Buck.” I ran a hand through my hair, “Give the guy a chance?”

“Aw you too?” He groaned, spinning in one of the chairs. “He’s already brainwashing you guys!” I let out a laugh, “How’s Abby?” I hated bringing her up but I unfortunately needed to know for my own gain. Not like I’d ever make a move but if he’s single there’s a sliver of hope right? “Haven’t really talked to her in awhile, but there was this girl at the bar. She gave me her number but uh.. We went back to her place.” He sighed. I know he hates how hypersexual he is. “I was doing so well. I Haven't slept with anyone in almost a month.” He admitted.   

“Buck it’s alright to sleep with people sometimes.” I couldn’t ignore the pang in my chest when I thought of him sleeping with anybody else. Just thinking about him with anyone else was enough to drive me insane. “I do it every now and then,” That was a whole ass lie, but he’s my best friend and I needed to make him feel better. “You do?” He laughed, looking up from his hands. “No no I don't. I just wanted you to feel better.” I snickered. I sat down next to him at the bar of the kitchen. “You're a good guy, you just pick shitty women.” 

And with that the alarm went off.

—----------------------------------------------------

I got home, setting my bag on the counter and pulling my coat off. I hung my keys up on the ring and almost immediately took my belt off. That thing was suffocating 24/7. I looked down and saw 4 missed messages from Buck. I groaned and opened them. 

Evan:“Can I come over? A pipe burst in Abby's apartment and it flooded.”

Evan:“Viennnaaaa.” 

Evan:“Viiiii”

Evan:“I’m about to just show up if you don’t respond.” 

Vienna: “Why would I care? Yeah you can always come over but I swear if I hear anything else about this stupid calendar I'll lose it.” 

Evan<3 liked a message

I shouldn’t be excited for him to come over.. Well he’s my best friend so I should be but also what if I say something stupid? I’m already exhausted enough. About 15 minutes later Buck walked through the door, I was in my pjs and was holding my cat Prince. “Oh hey.” I sat the cat down and greeted him with a hug. “All your stuff okay?” I tilted my head slightly and he nodded. “All of my stuff yeah.. But Abbys not so much.” He laughed. 

“Why are you still living there?” I blurted, not really regretting it. He shrugged, “where else would I stay?”

“Your apartment?”

He shook his head, “I sold it.” He gave me a look that said ‘please don’t be mad at me’ I gave him almost a mom look. “Evan.” His lips immediately turned into a thin line. “I wasn’t thinking!” He protested and I shook my head. “Just stay here. It’s not healthy for you to stay there anymore.. She’s not coming back and you know that.”

“You don’t know that.” He sighed and let out almost an amused laugh. “You still think she’ll come back for you?” That sounded harsh but it was true. He furrowed a brow in confusion, “Why are you acting like this?” He scoffed and I rolled my eyes. “You're just making yourself miserable! Staying at your ex-girlfriend's house isn’t healthy.”

“Oh and you know so much about a healthy relationship hm?” He said, clenching his jaw. 

“Buck.” I warned.

“No no, please enlighten me. What do you know about a healthy relationship? The last guy you were with cheated on you twice and you stayed.” He scoffed once more and almost immediately looked like he regretted it. “This isn’t the same situation.” I shook my head. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He sighed. 

“Then how did you mean it because it for sure sounded like you meant I’m a dumb ass for staying with him even though- You know what? No, I'm not doing this right now.” I threw my hands up in frustration and turned to walk to my room. “Guest beds made for you.” I said as I slammed my door.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I heard a knock on my door and sighed, getting up and letting Buck in. “I’m sorry for being a dick.” He flopped onto my bed and turned to lean on his hand, propped up on his elbow. 

“Me too.” I sat down with my legs crossed in front of him. “You really are welcome to stay here. Unless you’d rather be at Abby’s?” 

He shook his head and placed a hand on my knee, I could’ve sworn I let out a quiet yelp. “No no, I’d rather be here.” I smiled at him, “Finally decided to believe your best friend.” 

He sat up and faced me, “Have you ever thought about.. You know us bein-” There was a knock at the door that I got up to go get and saw my neighbor standing there. “Oh hey Jamie, what's up?” She handed me a white envelope and smiled back. “Mail got mixed up again.”

I took the envelope with a grin, “Oh thank you! Have a nice evening.” She waved goodbye and I closed the door behind myself. “What were you saying?” I looked up at Buck and grabbed my letter opener. He shook his head. “Nevermind.”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks later Buck was still living with me and it was starting to feel like he was staying for this long on purpose. That’s silly though right?

I was making dinner when he got home, a 24 hour shift that I could already tell knocked the life out of him. He walked over and took a piece of bacon from the plate. Breakfast for dinner. (Like the only thing I can cook) 

“Can I talk to you?” He spoke softly, I nodded. “What happened to Hello, how are you?” I laughed, he rolled his eyes and continued. “I’ve been thinking and.. What if we went out sometime?”

I nodded, “Like where? Bowling again?”

He laughed, “No no.. like on a date, Vi.” I looked at him like he was some alien, what in the world was he even talking about right now? “What? Did the station get dosed again?”

He looked down at me with those pretty pretty eyes I could never resist no matter how hard I tried. “Vi.. I’m being serious.”

“You really are desperate aren’t you?” I rolled my eyes, he just wanted sex so bad. He shook his head and rested a hand on my cheek. “We don’t even have to do anything...” He leaned down into my ear, speaking barely above a whisper. “I like you, Vienna.” I pulled back to look up at him. “Is this a joke? I understand I’m not the prettiest but no need to mock me, Evan..” 

He looked confused, “I’m not mocking you? You're literally stunning.”

If he was fucking around I was gonna kill him. I looked up at him, looking for any sign of insincerity.. Nothing. All I could do was nod, him leaning down to kiss me. It wasn’t like how Liam(my ex) used to kiss me, it meant something. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck before remembering the eggs. “Shit.” I turned to the stove and quickly took them off the burner. “So.. that's a yes?” He smiled, I nodded with a laugh. “It’s a yes, Buck.”   

[thebibutterflyao3]

Day Twenty-Three - Prompt: Cropped @rosekiller-microfic

March Daily Series - 972 words

<<<Previous Part OR Start Here

Barty allowed himself a full thirty-six hours of recovery before returning to The Ink Spot. He was sore, but mobile. That was enough.

When he stepped in the door, Emmeline loudly snorted and promptly covered her mouth to stifle her laughter. She knew what he was doing, as did anyone else that cared to pay attention. Every time someone else worked on him, Evan became a little more unhinged. He was possessive as fuck over his clients and Barty was counting on that playing in his favour.

“What now?” Evan grumbled. His stall was the first one past the waiting room, so he had a front row seat to Barty’s nonsense.

“Morning, Em,” Barty said cheerfully. He flashed a bright smile at her and she winked conspiratorially. It was unlikely that she knew the details of any of this, she simply enjoyed the game at Evan’s expense. “Anyone available?”

“Fuck.”

Emmeline hummed an amused little tune as she scanned her list. “If you’re willing to wait about an hour? I can squeeze you in.”

“For fuck’s sake, Emmeline. Just tell him ‘no’ for once,” Evan hissed.

She ignored him and gestured at the chairs. “Settle in.”

Barty moved carefully through the maze of outstretched legs and eased into a chair near the front window. He would be on his best behaviour today. That was sure to drive Evan mad. If he couldn’t hear him, he’d be more likely to check on him, which meant that he would spend the entire hour thinking about him. It was a sound plan.

Unless he decides to strangle me. Very possible alternative.

This would probably have been counterproductive with anyone else, but with Evan, stubborn determination tended to pay off. Not always, but often enough.

He focused on the second half of his plan. This part required more finesse, which was not his forte. Barty typed his message, deleted the first half, typed it again, then deleted it entirely. He leaned forward and rubbed his forehead.

How can I make things right with Pandora without addressing Regulus first? And how do I do that?

This was the part of his plan that he was least confident in. Evan probably wouldn’t really take him back unless he made amends, but Barty had burned those bridges with a fucking flamethrower.

There has to be a way. I have to find a way before Evan moves on.

Barty wracked his brain for ideas. Nothing seemed to go far enough to make up for cheating on Reg. At least not when he was trying to avoid the appearance of pursuing him. That would be a dangerous proposition. He wasn’t a moron. Evan would murder him if Pandora and Dorcas didn’t get the job done first.

While scrolling Instagram for inspiration, he landed on Sirius’s profile. Among the lot of them, Sirius was the only one who hadn’t blocked him yet. Although, that was likely because he’d never interacted with Sirius online before. If he tried it, chances were good he’d be blocked by him too.

Idly, he flipped through Sirius’s photos. There were several of a tall bloke, a redhead, and a brawny man with glasses, but few of the people Barty recognised. Pandora was in one and Regulus was in two. Then, he landed on one with the brawny man and Regulus together.

Hold on, I know him. He’s friends with Peter.

Barty searched Sirius’s profile for the short, heavyset bloke with close-cropped hair that he’d run into at the club in Scotland. He hadn’t connected Peter to Sirius at the time, but it couldn’t be a coincidence that this Latino fellow was friends with both and for one not to know the other. Peter was friendly enough and asked if he had any weed to sell, so he’d sold it to him. The shorter bloke had chattered like a magpie the entire time, but the brawny man just loomed behind him like a security guard.

“There you are,” he muttered to himself. “Peter. Peter, hmm. How are you connected, mate?”

After a few minutes of deliberation, Barty opened Peter’s profile. He was some sort of business lackey. No wonder he needed the weed. His profile wasn’t extensive, but his DMs were open. Barty decided to give it a go. The worst that could happen is that Peter told him to piss off.

Met you at the club in Edinburgh a few weeks back and realised we know the same people. I fucked things up with a friend or two and want to apologise. Mind offering some advice? I’d make it worth your while.

-Barty (grass distributor extraordinaire)

Within minutes, he had a response:

Vaguely remember you, but your weed was top quality. Who are we talking about?

Barty hurriedly responded:

Regulus and Pandora. We used to be close, but I fucked it up and I’m trying to make amends.

There was a longer pause this time, but eventually Peter replied:

Are you the one who showed up in Wales?

Fuck. If Peter knew about his dust-up with Pandora in Wales, it was unlikely that he’d help now. Barty considered lying, but figured the truth was easier to defend.

Yeah, I was off it. Part of what I want to apologise for, actually.

Peter responded with a curt dismissal that Barty absolutely deserved:

Sounds like a you problem.

Well, fuck.”

Barty knew it was a long shot, but he had to try. The reality was harder to swallow, but easier to accept. He’d promised not to approach Pandora or Regulus directly, and he didn’t even know how to contact Dorcas, so that left Evan. Somehow, he had to win Evan back without fixing things. That should blow up in his face in approximately three days.

Next Part>>>

[ornii]

My Bitter Half series? Shut up and take my money!

It's monopoly money but the point still stands!

I Never expected that short story to get such praise. But if people want more of it, I’d be glad to I love the Siblings Dynamic, so here’s part 2 AKa: (Y/n) Pissing Wednesday off for (insert number) minutes.

My Better Bitter Half, Part 2

Chapter 2: Sibling rivalry, Part 1.

“The whole snarky Goth girl thing might have worked at normie school, but here things are different. Let me give you a wiki on Nevermore's social scene.”

Enid and (Y/n) walk between Wednesday down the hall.

“I'm not interested in participating in tribal adolescent clichés.”

“Well, then use it to fill your obviously bottomless pit of disdain. There are many flavors of outcasts here, but the four main cliques are Fangs, Furs, Stoners and Scales.” She explains, they eventually reach the Quad, the main social hub of Nevermore.

“Those are the Fangs, AKA vampires. Some of them have been here for decades.” (Y/n) motions to the ones in deep dark glasses. A few of the more feminine vampires eye the Addams Twins, more importantly (Y/n). They growl and wink at him, some batting their fangs.

“That bunch of knuckleheads are Furs, AKA werewolves. Like me!” Enid smiles, and the howling of werewolves echo along the annals of Nevermore.

“Full moons get pretty loud around here. That's when Furs wolf out. I suggest you pick up noise-cancelling headphones.” Enid said.

“I'm assuming Scales are sirens?” Wednesday said.

“You catch on quick.” Enid smiles, and motions to a girl, dark beautiful skin with azure blue eyes.

“And that girl, Bianca Barclay, is the closest thing Nevermore has to royalty. Although her crown's been slipping lately. She used to date our resident tortured artist, Xavier Thorpe. But they broke up at the beginning of the semester. Reason unknown.”

“Fascinating.” Wednesday says, obviously sarcastically.

“I know, right? My vlog is, like, the number one source for Nevermore gossip.” Enid says with a prideful gleam. (Y/n) sighs at this, until Ajax, a friend and local stoner approaches Wednesday.

Yo, (Y/n) Enid! You're not gonna believe the dirt I heard about your new roommate. She eats human flesh. Chowed down on that kid she murdered.You better watch your back (Y/n).” Ajax says to Wednesday, “You look, shorter, did you grow your hair out?” He asks.

“Ajax.” You say, “That is my Sister Wednesday, the girl who is Rooming with Enid.” You say and he peers over to her, stoned out of his mind.

“O-oh uh—“ he begins but is halted

“Quite the contrary. I actually fillet the bodies of my victims, then feed them to my menagerie of pets.” Wednesday says, which blows Ajax’s mind.

“Whoa. You're both in black and white.” He says to the twins. “Like a living Instagram filter.” (Y/n) shakes his head

“Ignore him. Gorgons spend way too much time getting stoned. He's cute, but clueless.” Enid says, ignoring Ajax, the three continue to acquire her schedule.

“It's a small school. There wasn't much online about you. You should really get on Insta, Snapchat and TikTok. I find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.” Wednesday responds deadpanned.

“Are, you sure this is your sister?” Enid asks (Y/n), who grins.

“Unfortunately yes, In all her glory I’m sure.” You say coldly, The day ends and the family must bid goodbye to the twins, Pugsley hugs Wednesday.

“Pugsley, you're soft and weak. You'll never survive without me. I give you two months, tops.” She said

“I'm gonna miss you, too, sis.” He responds, he hugs (Y/n) who gladly reciprocated, and tags a “stab me.” Note on pugsleys back.

“I’ll miss you too little brother.” You say and the family leave in the car, the two stand silent before you spoke to her.

“A Word of Advice Mi Hermana (My Sister) Any plans you have of running away end right now. Mother has alerted all family members to contact her the minute you darken their doorstep, I will be watching you, closely.” You say as you go lucky attitude quickly fades.

“As usual, you underestimate me, Mi Hermano. I will escape this educational penitentiary, and you will never hear from me again.” She says, (Y/n) growls a bit and folds his arms.

“I detest saying this, but You are a brilliant girl, Wednesday, and.. as much as It annoys me, I’d… I’d honestly miss you if you left.” You admit, Wednesdays cold stare slightly warmed as you gritted your teeth.

“Mother wishes for you to stay here, you’re lucky you aren’t in prison like Uncle Fester. Don’t throw your life away over your pride.” You say and walk away leaving Wednesday to consider your words, but as siblings go, she wouldn’t take your orders laying down.

The Next day, (Y/n) effortlessly knocks Rowan down in their fencing, using his quick fencing ability.

“Coach, Coach, he tripped me.” Rowan complains.

“It was a clean strike, Rowan.” You say, “Widen your stance, build more muscle and I won’t knock you over like a twig.” You say, you turn your attention to the other novice fencers.

“Anyone wish to challenge the Prince of Nevermore?” You say, and one voice speaks up.

“I do.”

(Y/n) turns to face his sister, Wednesday. Geared to the toe for fencing. You can only laugh and tilt your head.

“Wednesday, as amusing as this would be I’d rather avoid hurting my own blood.”

“Do you? It seems nothing has changed since you left home, you’re still a coward.”

“Ooh!” The fencers say from parts of the room, (Y/n)’s smile Fades to silence and burning fury. (Y/n) snaps his fingers and the teacher looks up.

“Professor, I’d like a match with Wednesday Addams..” you say coldly and he nods, “First to three strikes.” The siblings get in position and pit on their gear. Drawing their sabres their intense glares focus on each other,

“En garde.” They say in unison and move in, the strikes were fast, fluent and held so much animosity. Each stroke inches closer to a point, before a quick jab to (Y/n)‘s neck won Wednesday a point.

“Point to Wednesday.” The Coach says, Wednesday voice was muffled but (Y/n) could hear it.

“You know what they say Brother, “Pride Cometh before the fall.” She says, (Y/n) moved in, much more ferocious and hungry for victory. The blades dance and trade before (Y/n) lands a point on her heart. The score is even.

“Let's finish this.” You say.

“Agreed. For the final point, I would like to invoke a military challenge. No masks. No tips. Winner draws first blood.” Wednesday says.

“Fine.” You respond and tear your mask off.

“I’ll apologize to mother when she visits you.” You say and Wednesdays focus was dead on you, and the final round began, the bladed tips were fast, sharp and each swing and jab were inches, millimeters away from landing a point, each attack felt so, raw, full of fury and strike, their blades clash once more and Wednesday goes for a stab, (Y/n) for a downward slash. And blood, was spilled.

(Y/n) and Wednesday sat in the nurses office together, both bleeding. Wednesday had a small cut on the top of her head, and her brother? Not as fortunate. He had his upper shirt removed as there was a stab wound in his shoulder. It was being patched up by the nurse and wrapped. The nurse leaves as the siblings sit together.

“Sorry for being a bit too, aggressive.” You say to her, Wednesday kept staring forward.

“I apologize for almost piercing your heart.” She said.

“I’ll admit, what you said got under my skin, you always had that ability to bring the worst emotions out of me.” She explains, “What’s Family good for?” You say sarcastically.

“I meant what I said though, I’d be amiss to have my other half missing. As much as you Hate it mother cares for you, as I do.” You said, you put your hand on her leg and try to reassure her.

“Just, Take what i Said into consideration.” You ask her, Wednesday turns her head to face yours. “I’ll consider it.” She responds.

“Thank you, I’m still going to stab you back though.” You say smirking, and Wednesday attempts to hide her grin.

“You’ll have to Earn it.”

[twptwp]

I was discussing it on my Instagram lastnight and I continue to think about it so I ramble here:

Peepers is not a birthname

It is such a vastly different name from what seems normal to watchdogs, you have Andy, Ted, Westley, Tim, Barry, so on. No watchdog parent would name their kid Peepers. On Instagram I went into depth and discussed his detachment to the watchdogs and how it was hinted he knows his family and in season 3 it would be a problem. Unfortunately I saw that a long time ago and cannot prove the quote but I am pretty sure a creator said it. However even if no quote, considering he has ran off and become the commander of a huge evil army and never once discussed his family, safe to assume he wants nothing to do with them and they're some form of issue. That makes sense.

I think it can be rather nice to see it in a trans light, however I too changed my name before being aware of my gender due to wanting to detach from family. Whatever is going on, I find a lot of comfort in it and see myself a little too. I wanted all detachment from those people, and it seems so does Peepers. It makes me so happy to see a character change their name for these reasons, I understand it. I so often see name changing being linked to trans people and trans people only, despite being trans myself sometimes I feel a little left out because my name change is not linked to gender. Peepers changing his name to spite his family and run off and be independent from them.. That's what I want to do. I don't quite want to run away become evil commander, but I do want to be me

Delving on the trans light a little though, it really excites me how much reason for it! To name a few, things like shorter than the other watchdogs, his higher voice, his chest, you understand the idea. It's good! Makes sense!

Post was not originally about trans headcannon but I don't mind, it can be both topics, all come back to his name not being birthname

[chocolateteapotsvis]

Can I ask for Bachelorette and Crane husband?

So Bachelorette is basically doing as season of the Bachelor TV show, except as an alternate universe version of the Justice League getting together.  For anyone lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the show, it’s a reality dating show where 30ish contestants arrive to date and marry the lead, the titular Bachelor/Bachelorette.  Theoretically.  These days it’s known more for scandals, cringe, and former contestants going on to sell diet tea on Instagram.

Anyway, the story:  After the last disastrous season of the Bachelor which ended with several contestants, including the lead, going missing, Lex Luthor is trying to shake up the Bachelorette formula by bringing in Diana Prince, the franchise's first openly bisexual lead.  Are the contestants here to find love, fame, or, the ultimate right reason, saving the world?

The idea was for it to be a mix of character POVs going through the challenges, discovering the superpowers people are hiding, and falling in love, and not necessarily with the Diana.  I absolutely bit off more than I could chew with this, since when I started it I had written exactly nothing else with multiple POVs and this one had 4+, with at least two major ships and a bunch of side ships.

I also wanted to mix what was actually happening with some of the more reality TV things, like the confession cam segments where they sit in an empty room talking to the producers.  This scene is a couple weeks into the show, when Hal and Barry have really connected on a personal level, but before anyone’s really figured out any of the superhero stuff.

Hal: Barry?  Yeah, he’s my best friend in the house.  He’s one of those people you don’t think exist outside of, like, fairy tales and shit.  Like, real people don’t care that much, especially not about people like—  Don’t tell him this, because I’ll deny saying any of it, but he makes me believe in all that stuff, and it makes me feel better about myself knowing he calls me a friend too.

Barry: Hal’s someone I never would have met in real life, and I’m grateful for the show for that.  And yes, in this process, spending twenty four hours a day in a house full of strangers in this strange bubble, and the heightened emotionality of everything here… I guess what I’m saying is that you connect with people more quickly, go through months of relationship development in a much shorter amount of time.  I’m sorry, I’m not used to talking about this sort of thing.  *laughs*  You’d think I would be after doing so many of these interviews. He’s so many of the things I wish I could be.  Does he rub some people the wrong way?  Of course.  Do I personally agree with everything he’s said or done here?  No.  But he’s unabashedly who he is, and that’s something to admire.  … I do hope we can stay friends after the show, yes.  I hope my life isn’t too boring for him after the glitz and glamour of being on The Bachelorette has worn off.  *laughs*  But for now, I’m privileged to be his friend, and I’m going to try to focus on that. Producer: That’s great.  Now could you do that again except use the word “journey” instead of “process”?

You can find the inspiration for Crane Husband here, and another snippet here!  The basic premise is that Barry helps Hal, magical crane person, getting to know each other, and helping each other through misguided attempts to pay back past kindnesses.

Barry’s latching the final storm shutter when something white tumble out of the sky. He secures the warm glow inside the how behind the shutters, then turns, and dashes after it. The winds whips around him, stinging at his eyes and tugging at his coat to pull him off his feet.  He stumbles against the already soft ground, his hands doubly chilled. The world darkens again, late evening imposed by the clouds.  Barry can just make out the dark shapes of the trees ahead; his cabin is, thankfully, more visible, the dark splotch distinguished by the line of light sneaking through the shutters.   It can’t be much farther.  I can make it. The rain starts as he enters the tree line, a few fat drops soaking straight through his coat before he reaches the relative protection of the trees.  It’s even darker here, but then lightning flashes and he sees the patch of white. He’s shrugging out of his coat before the thunder hits, approaching as cautiously as he can while half running, half stumbling towards the poor creature. It’s so small, white feathers dull and muddy, and wing bent at a sickening angle.  It doesn’t move when Barry holds out a tentative hand, not quite touching it.  It’s still warm.  He carefully gathers it up in his coat, clutching the light bundle as securely but gently as he can. As he rushes into the downpour, huddled over his charge to protect it as best he could, he realizes why the crane struck him as so vulnerable.  He’s never seen one alone before.

Thanks for the ask!

WIP Ask Game

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT SEO & MARKETING NEWS FOR ECOMMERCE, MAY 2024

As promised, here are the important news stories from marketing recently: SEO, social media, advertising, and more.

If you want to get this news twice-weekly instead of just once a month, become a paying member of my Patreon: patreon.com/CindyLouWho2

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

In the biggest SEO news perhaps ever, a massive list of Google ranking elements was leaked this week. Here’s an overview, including links to the two main leak announcements and their analysis. It would seem that Google wasn’t always honest when they told us some algorithm elements did or did not exist. Google took nearly 2 days to speak publicly about it, but didn’t say much. Expect a lot more analysis in the coming weeks. 

Instagram is updating its algorithm to favour original creators and smaller accounts, and remove reposted content from recommendations. “This won’t affect “a set of publishers” identified by Instagram with licensing agreements or resharing permissions from content creators, according to the blog post.”

Google is adding AI Overviews to US search immediately, with other countries to follow in the future. "AI Overviews gives answers to queries using generative AI technology powered by Google Gemini. It provides a few snippets of an answer based on its understanding of queries and the content it found on the topic across the web.” Right now, it is only affecting a small number of queries, however. While these will sometimes cover similar topics to featured snippets, the latter still exist. Early testing indicates that it does not currently show up when a search appears to be about buying something. Which is good, because you can’t turn it off, other than filtering your search to “Web” after doing it.  Oh, and Google did not waste time figuring out how to include advertising in the AI overviews - it took just one week. As with most much-heralded AI launches, AI Overviews are fumbling badly; here’s a summary of the many news articles mocking Google, including for recommending people glue cheese onto their pizza so it stays in place. 

Chrome has yet again announced that it will not end the use of tracking cookies on schedule; the new target date for starting to wind down their use is early 2025.

Reminder that your old Google Analytics files (aka Universal Analytics) will no longer be available after July 1, so download them now! “...consider archiving back to 2018 or so to ensure you have pre-pandemic data since the pandemic really presented data anomalies for many companies.” There is a spreadsheet add-on to make this easier. 

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES 

Google’s March 2024 Core Update finished rolling out April 19. “A Google spokesperson said, “The updates led to larger quality improvements than we originally thought – you’ll now see 45% less low quality, unoriginal content in search results, versus the 40% improvement we expected across this work.” Experts are struggling to analyze it, in part due to how long it lasted. Not surprisingly, Reddit was a big winner, and sites with a lot of ads and affiliate links continue to lose. 

An update on how long your titles should be for Google. “So whether your titles get cut off or rewritten in SERPs, Google still uses the HTML title tag for ranking considerations, not the titles shown in SERPs.” The author’s research is too limited to draw reliable conclusions from, and most other research in this area over the last decade shows that shorter titles tend to rank better. However, she has pulled together many recent statements on title length and how it works, which is useful reading. 

A reminder that “keyword difficulty” is a subjective score that different tools may not agree on, and that also depends on your overall site/shop and its history. This applies to all sorts of keyword tools, including those used for marketplace sites. 

It looks like Google adding its AI to search results will have a strong impact on traffic, as it will answer questions without the need to click, and “only 47% of the top 10 traditional search results are sources for SGE.” [SGE is now called AI Overviews.] That means if a page is outside the top 10 now, it may still be used to generate the answers, and could even get clicks from being displayed in SGE. 

Still with AI, Google was fined €250 million by France for using news media to train its AI, Gemini. 

Google admits to deindexing many, many pages in February, due to quality issues. 

A recent article dissects why Google search is so bad these days, and largely blames one man. While you can read the original here, you may want to start with a decent summary and the reaction from Google and the SEO community. 

Here’s a full list of Google changes and announcements from April.

Not Google

Both Microsoft and Google had excellent first quarters, with ad revenue up 12% and 13% respectively. “Bing reached over 140 million daily active users.”

OpenAI is apparently not starting their own search engine, contrary to rumours.

SOCIAL MEDIA - All Aspects, By Site

General

Here’s another of the periodic posts that tries to figure out the best times to post on different social media sites. It covers Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, Twitter and Pinterest. 

Direct Messages are now available on Bluesky. 

Facebook (includes relevant general news from Meta)

In another recent AI fumble, Meta has introduced an AI assistant to its various products in several countries - but you can’t turn it off in the search bar. It may also show up in group chats, including discussions about parenting. “The Associated Press reported that an official Meta AI chatbot inserted itself into a conversation in a private Facebook group for Manhattan moms. It claimed it too had a child in school in New York City, but when confronted by the group members, it later apologized before its comments disappeared.”

Here’s more on Meta’s automated ad issue that is ramping up costs but decreasing sales for many, including small businesses. 

Meta is now offering its Verification for Business subscription package to more countries, and has added new tiers as well. 

While Meta had a strong 1st quarter financially, it projects weaker results through 2025 as it spends a ton on money trying to guide its AI offerings to profitability. 

Instagram

Instagram added some new features, including “Reveal”, which blurs Stories, and only releases the content once you DM the creator. 

Reels under 90 seconds perform better on Instagram than longer ones. 

To help avoid scammers on Instagram, learn how to identify and block fake accounts. 

Instagram’s Creator Marketplace - where businesses can search for influencers to promote their product - is now available in 10 more counties, including Germany, France and Indonesia. 

LinkedIn

You should be optimizing LinkedIn posts for the platform itself and outside search engines. The article includes tips for both personal and business pages.

LinkedIn is adding games you can play once a day, which sounds weird for a professional network. 

Pinterest

Pinterest’s summer trend report has arrived; apparently maximalism is in yet again.  

Reddit

Reddit is one of those sites that is getting worse lately as people try to get Google ranking through it (which is a whole other SEO story I have covered in these updates before).

ChatGPT will now be training on Reddit comments. The agreement meant a huge stock boost for Reddit. 

Reddit is trying to attract more French-speaking users by auto-translating the site in real-time using AI. 

After plenty of user complaints, Reddit is starting a new awards scheme. 

Snapchat

You can now edit your Snapchat messages within 5 minutes of sending, if you subscribe to Snapchat Plus. 

Threads

Meta wants more content on Threads, and is willing to pay well-known creators to create it. Invite only, of course.  

You can now filter out unwanted words on Threads. 

TikTok

While the US government has voted to ban TikTok if the company isn’t sold, there is a lot of time left before that could happen, and a legal battle to be fought. TikTok has already filed a lawsuit, as have some major creators. Meanwhile, small business owners and creators are understandably worried. From an article by the BBC: “According to March 2024 data from TikTok, more than seven million small US businesses use TikTok, and the company reported it drove $15bn (£12.04bn) in revenue for these enterprises in 2023.”

How to rank on TikTok: the Ultimate Guide. Some of the tips include hashtags, keywords, and choosing the right thumbnail. 

There are several ways to remove (or avoid) the TikTok watermark if you want to use your TikTok content on other platforms. 

Twitter

Twitter’s domain has finally switched over to X in some locations [but I will still call it Twitter].

(CONTENT) MARKETING (includes blogging, emails, and strategies) 

Time to gear up your content marketing plans for June. 

ONLINE ADVERTISING (EXCEPT INDIVIDUAL SOCIAL MEDIA AND ECOMMERCE SITES) 

Search ads are converting less while costing more, something that has been going on for a few years now. “Advertisers are paying more for leads and clicks, while Alphabet, Google’s parent company, keeps reporting record profits.” This is one of the reasons the US Department of Justice argues that Google is a monopoly. 

Not enough AI in your ads? Google is solving that through video ads and more virtual try-ons. 

Google Shopping is going to start showing how many people have bought from each site recently, although businesses can opt out. 

Google is removing keywords from Google Ads accounts if they have received zero impressions in the past 13 months. While you can reactivate them, Google discourages that. 

You may be able to run Google’s Performance Max ads through particular marketplaces now or in the near future, if your marketplace signs up. For some businesses, selling through a marketplace might be cheaper than setting up a site. 

Social media advertising is now bigger than search ads, according to a recent report. Almost ⅔ of these ads are on various Meta properties. 

BUSINESS & CONSUMER TRENDS, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE 

Slow economic growth in the United States in the first quarter of 2024 sparked worries that the rest of 2024 will be as bad or even worse. Even McDonalds is stressing that consumers can only take so much inflation. 

US ecommerce sales were up in the first quarter, more than overall retail. 

Some consumers are finding that ecommerce is tiring, offering too many options and no easy way to shop quickly. “Despite an increased emphasis on personalized experiences in recent years, 7 in 10 customers feel either no improvement or an increase in the time and effort required to make a purchase decision.” 

MISCELLANEOUS (including humour) 

Before returning orders to Amazon, make sure your cat isn’t in the box. (It’s fine, fortunately!)

[mustelavison]

The differences between minks and ferrets

On many social media platforms I have seen minks being called ferrets, and ferrets being called minks. Even on Discord when I post art of a mink, people will proclaim “I love minks!” and then proceed to post a gif of a ferret or an ermine. There is no harm in this, ofcourse! But it does frustrate me a lot because they can easily be differentiated by much more than just color. 

Please note that this is by no means trying to gatekeep what you can call a mink or not. There may be inaccuracies or things left out, as this is all based on my own research. Half of the reason for writing this post is also simply so I have a bit of a reference for myself too when drawing ferrets and minks. I will also only be referring to the American Mink in this post, seeing as they are the most well known due to the American Mink being the species used for fur farming. 

So without much further ado, let's begin! 

The Head

When looking at the average mink and the average ferret, it is obviously very easy to pick apart the two. Ferrets have their signature bandit-like mask, which minks usually do not have. Minks typically range from dark or reddish brown to black with a white chin. In this case it would be very easy to learn the difference between the two.

But what about situations where both have the same coat color? Some minks in fur farms are bred to have a white coat, and similarly some ferrets also have the same color. This is very often where I see confusion between the two species. And what if minks sprout the polecat mask that ferrets are commonly known for?

With my art, it is easier to tell the two apart. Especially considering I have noted which is which. But when applied to real life it becomes harder. In fact, when looking up white ferrets for examples I was actually met with an image of a white mink. (And also a lot of ermines, unfortunately.) In situations like this you have to start looking at more anatomical features instead. It is however good to know that white ferrets typically have little to no polecat mask. 

As you can see here, I have traced the heads of both a white mink and a white ferret. Although, one image is clearly more zoomed out than the other. I have lined the traced result up with each other so it is easier to spot the differences. 

First of all, the head is broader on the mink and rounder. The ears are also much smaller on the mink when compared to the ferret. The muzzle is also much broader and rounder on the mink, too. 

There are also smaller differences between the two that don't really matter much and more just fun facts. A ferret’s skull is slightly shorter than a mink’s. Ferrets however, do have longer canine teeth!

The Body

Obviously, aside from the head there are also differences in the rest of the body. Fur farm minks on average, are much bigger than a ferret. Minks are also a lot stronger than a ferret. 

There are also coat colors present in only minks and vice versa! The texture of the coats is also very different, which is logical considering ferrets aren’t quite as popular for being used to make coats. 

Ferrets generally have a rougher coat than ferrets. Their guard hairs are much longer and sparser. The mink on the other hand has a much denser coat, with the purpose of waterproofing the fur as much as possible to keep the mink warm while swimming. 

There are some coat colors usually found only in minks and ferrets respectively. This also works as an identifier because you will not find a jaguar ferret anywhere. 

 

A lot of the different coat colors in ferrets are actually a variation of the standard polecat/sable coat color. That being said, a lot of mink coat colors are actually variations of the standard brown/black coat color although it is not as obvious as it is with ferrets.

The final two differences are the paws and tail. These are not really very different for the most part, and on images you’d see on Instagram or whatever other platform you see a mink on you won't really notice these quickly. Minks generally have longer tails than ferrets, and being semi-aquatic they also have partially webbed feet. 

Thanks for reading this entire thing! It's pretty long, I know, but I hope it was of some use to you anyway. Hopefully you learned something new or maybe you could use this as an art reference in some way. 

On a footnote: If you can't tell the difference between a stoat/ermine and a mink or ferret then please get your eyes checked. If you didn't know they were different species then I sure hope you know that mink, ferret and ermine are not synonyms for each other and are all different species. Quite frustrating to see ermines pop up so much when searching for white minks or ferrets, you know?

[atcwhitney]

Flores Malas

8/21/2024. 10:03pm.

I know people tend to be passive-aggressive here in Los Angeles. I was born and raised here, and for some (in hindsight) unfathomable and regrettable reason, I even moved back here after San Francisco and New York.

I moved here partly to work for a nightclub called Cloak and Dagger. One of the founders reached out to me, explaining he wanted someone to take on a role that was part-creative director, part-content creator, and was a fan of my work. I had been a full-time videographer and photographer with clients like Levi's, Lucasfilm, Absolut and Dolby under my belt.

To make a long story a bit shorter, I eventually quit Cloak and Dagger, partly because I wasn't being paid anymore, and partly because friends of mine started telling me stories that they had been confronted with predatory behavior due to the toxic nature of the environment and permitted by the founders, who (they insisted) didn't care. Anything from unwanted and repeated sexual advances all the way to being drugged and in one case, being raped.

Once I had collected a fair amount of such anecdotes and seen enough suspicious behavior with my own eyes in glimpses and glances, I brought these concerns to the attention of the founders and was brushed aside.

This after one of them had pretended to be a close friend, coming to my weekly movie nights at my apartment, until the moment that my other friend refused his sexual advances. From then on, he stopped coming to movie night and didn't hang out with me (or promise her a music career) anymore unless he needed me to work for free for him and the club, which was getting tons of press as apparently the hottest exclusive goth night in Los Angeles, while I rubbed elbows with some of the creepiest roofie-cradling sycophants imaginable.

The night I quit, I walked a girl to her car who had just started working at Cloak and Dagger. When we arrived, I shared with her that I had quit and my reasons why. She told me that my experience made no sense to her, and that she had only ever been welcomed with open arms, treated with respect and felt supported there. I repeated my concerns briefly, told her to be careful, and wished her good luck, walking to my car.

Years later, when I worked at an occult school, this same person found me on Instagram and messaged me. She apologized. She said she should have listened that one night when I walked her to her car. I'd rather not type any more.

Flashback to the gaslighting I endured leading up to, during and after me quitting Cloak and Dagger. I kept my lips tightly shut and even doubted what I had seen and heard after some time, having found so much resistance from so many angles. I regretted even speaking up at all. I felt foolish.

A few years after the night I quit, an LA Times article was published effectively verifying everything I had experienced and warned people about, only to get (at the time) anything from blank stares to active hostility in return, and everything in-between.

I realized it didn't matter how I was treated for speaking out. I was right. The only mistake was in feeling bad about it, and feeling bullied into being confused and scared after the fact.

I learned my lesson back then.

Today, I went to work at the barbershop I've worked at since April of 2024. I had a return client right away, and then I sat down and waited for walk-ins.

A customer who usually sits with Rigo, the owner, came in as a walk-in and sat with me. I faced him towards the mirror.

He asked me for a mid-fade and to go short on the top. I pointed at the side of his head, where I think a mid-fade should go.

"A mid-fade? Skin up to here?"

"Yes."

"Cool."

I picked up the top of his hair and held my fingers horizontally across a good half of the length.

"Take this much off?"

"I don't know. Short."

"More than this?"

I moved my fingers closer to his scalp.

"Like this?"

He looked confused.

"...or more?"

I moved my fingers even closer to the scalp.

"I've got a picture."

"That's great! Let's see..."

He took out his phone and showed a picture of himself. His hair was slicked down sideways and it was hard to tell how long it really was. And since he was facing the camera, rather than in profile, I could tell there was a mid-fade but couldn't see much beyond that.

I figured that was enough for us to be on the same page.

"Got it, thanks man."

"Yeah, just go real short on top..."

I picked up his hair and moved my fingers a little lower than last time. Now it was so short it might not be possible to trim with scissors, and might require a machine to cut.

"This short?"

"Yeah! Exactly. I want to be able to do a side-part comb-over."

I thought this was a curious expression. I think of a comb-over as what a balding guy (not this guy) does to hide his balding-ness, beyond being a redundant phrase beyond simply, "side-part."

But I hid such amusement and continued the consultation, not wanting to start cutting his hair before he and I understood what I could reasonably guess was the same thing, or close enough to it for a haircut. I said:

"If I cut it this short, you won't have enough hair to comb-over. It'll just stand straight up."

He started looking agitated alongside being confused. I tried to interject to squash the awkward moment incoming...

"...I mean, I'm happy to cut it this short, I just think you have to decide if you want enough hair to brush over, or if you want to go this short, and have it stand up no matter what, like..."

...Terminator 2 had just been on the shop TV recently...

"...Arnold Schwarzenegger."

He affected a nervous laugh, clearly trying be a good sport, thus making two of us.

He said, "I have another picture."

"Ok, perfect, let's have a look."

He pulled out his phone again and showed me a picture of himself with totally different hair from the first picture, as well as different hair to what we had agreed upon so far. In this picture, he didn't have a fade, but plenty of hair on the sides and clearly on the back, with longer hair on top than he had right now, sitting in my chair.

"Okay, did you still want a fade?"

"Yeah."

"You don't have a fade in this picture."

"Well, yeah, this is grown out."

"Okay, so you're showing me a picture of...not the haircut you want, but of a haircut that's grown out?"

"I'm saying I want something as short or shorter than this," he said, as if it were a matter of simplicity itself, in fact.

"Oh, okay, I got it," I lied. What was there to get? I was more confused at this point than at any point so far.

He put his phone away and I reached up my hands like Ricky Bobby, a little shakily, towards the top of his head, trying to think of something to do or say to make this interaction make some kind of sense to someone.

"...So, we knock out the mid-fade and I'll cut some off the top, and I'll show you where we're at, and you can let me know if we should cut more?"

He smiled and nodded, "Yeah, that sounds good."

"Okay." Hopefully this was good to go now.

I figured I would start cutting and check in at stages, so he could feel invited to direct me down to the last centimeter, if need be. I was perfectly happy to do this. I didn't have any other walk-ins waiting, nor any clients with appointments I was worried would be made late by any of this.

I picked up the top of his hair, decided to cut the first mark I had showed him, which was the most conservative amount, knowing we could more easily cut more than put the hair back.

I made the first cut.

I added hair to this cut hair to begin the process, planning to cut all of the top and then show him the results with a hand mirror, so he could let me know to cut more, which I assumed he probably would.

Before I could make the second cut, he said, "I just want it really short. REALLY SHORT."

I dropped the hair I was holding and lowered both hands to my sides, looking at him in the mirror from behind the chair.

"So...do you want me to just shave your head?"

"No, no, no, not THAT short. Just SHORT. You know."

I nodded in slow-motion, just looking at him, hoping, maybe even praying, that he would say something helpful in that moment before I would be obliged to break the tension myself.

He didn't. He just looked at me like a deer in headlights.

After an interminable pause, the stare-down developed into the briefest tinge of frustration playing on his face.

I finally talked.

"I hope you understand that I'm just trying to give you what you want and cut your hair the way you have it in your mind, I'm not trying to make this difficult." That last was a mistake. I shouldn't have suggested it might appear I was even remotely making anything difficult. Had I been less insecure in that moment, I would have either left that part out, or been honest and told him he was, in fact, making this difficult for both of us.

He simply said a perfunctory-sounding, "Right."

"Okay, how about I finish cutting this part I started..."

...I pointed with the scissors towards the hair I had just cut...

"...and when it's all cut, I'll show it to you, and you can let me know to cut more if you want, and how much more."

He nodded and smiled. "Okay."

I continued with second cut, then picked up enough hair to make my third cut. By then, he spoke up again.

"Oh, yeah, that's perfect."

"Oh! Okay, cool, sounds good."

Sigh of relief, but somehow more confused than ever. I just kept going.

I cut the entire top.

"How's the length on top?"

"It's good. Looks good."

"Okay, I'm gonna start on the fade now..."

"Cool."

I spun him around, lifted his chair, grabbed the clippers, and started fading his hair on the side.

"Could you shave off my beard too after this?"

"Sure! You want a full straight-razor shave? Everything off?"

"Everything off, but no straight-razor, just clippers."

"Okay, sounds good."

I continued the haircut.

After the fade was blended into the top, I showed him the mirror and stood behind him with the other mirror, angling it so he could see the back and each side.

"Is this cool?"

"It's good."

"Okay, sounds good man."

I put the mirror away and proceeded to, and finished, the face.

Once he was all cleaned off, I lowered the chair and took the cape off of him and he got up.

"Thank you so much for coming in today man, I appreciate you."

"Thank you, I appreciate it. Can I pay with card?"

"Of course!"

He paid.

I reached out for his hand. He shook it.

"Thanks again man, have a great day."

"You too."

He turned and waved at Rigo and then left the shop.

I started cleaning my station. Rigo got up from his chair at the opposite end of the barbershop and sauntered over to me.

"Hey fool, how was that guy just now?"

"He was cool! No problem."

I wasn't lying. It's pretty common to have customers like that. Rigo has them and so does the guy next to me. So much so that the guy next to me has a customer who comes to him every month and is so confusing and difficult, even after all this time, the barber routinely goes outside after the service to decompress and smoke weed and (occasionally) complain about said customer.

"I'm firing you, fool."

I thought he was joking. I laughed.

"What?"

He was stone-faced. Now his hand was on top of my station, the other hand on his hip, and he was leaning in towards me.

"You're fired. That's your last cut at the shop. Take your attitude to Proper Barbershop. I don't want that here, in my shop."

I realized he wasn't joking.

He produced a trash bag like it was a magic trick, seemingly out of a hat, and threw it on top of my tools.

"You're serious?"

"Yeah, fool. You're just not a good fit for this shop, or for this industry, either."

"Oh."

I looked at the trash bag on my station because I was starting to notice that he was standing uncomfortably close. His face was leaning in more and more and his eyes had the same look they had on them when he talked about kicking a homeless person sleeping outside one morning, or when he would tell me (often) "These fools are all fucking idiots," about the customers at his shop.

I looked back at him and made eye contact again.

He continued, "...That fool is cool as fuck. That fool is COOL as FUCK. You talked to him in a way sort of to make that fool feel stupid. You know what I mean?"

I nodded, not sure what else to do in that moment.

He went on.

"...I was actually gonna fire you on the spot when I listened to you talk to that fool but I decided to wait until the haircut was done and do it now."

I nodded again.

In an instant, I played back the entire service in my head. The overall arc was that of the walk-in asking for confusing things and me asking questions, looking for clarity. Then shaking hands and him leaving.

I remembered Rigo telling me multiple times in the months I had worked at his shop, "These fools are stupid, they don't know what they want, you just pretend to listen to what they want and then do what YOU want. YOU'RE the professional."

I also remembered actually implementing that patently unethical advice and then having a customer respond to that by complaining about his service, and then Rigo in turn blaming me for that, too.

So from then on, I did what seemed fair and listened to customers for real, which is what I would do anyway outside of peer pressure, and if I was confused, admitted this, and consulted with the client until things became clear enough to proceed in some measure of good faith with whatever service was going on.

All in all, I felt the walk-in and I were both confused and, at turns, frustrated by the consultation for the start of the service, and then ended the service on the same page with a handshake.

I even thought I had seen this walk-in leaving me a tip out of the corner of my eye before handing me back my phone with the Square app open before I put it in my pocket.

I blinked and said:

"Do you want to talk about it? Or give me a second chance?"

"No, fool. Pack your shit up, the sooner the better. You're not my employee, so I can't tell you what to do. You run your own business. But you run your OWN business in MY SHOP, and I DON'T want your BUSINESS in MY SHOP."

"Okay."

"Don't even bother to sweep up," he said as he turned and walked back to his chair, sat down, pulled out a vape and started puffing up plumes of weed and scrolling on his phone.

I knew I had to pack up all my tools, spread out across four shelves and four or five drawers of a nearby toolbox, into this flimsy trash bag and leave immediately. I had enough tools as a barber that when I had "moved in" at this shop, I had brought rolling luggage and a backpack for most of it, bringing more stuff later.

I dutifully kept quiet and packed up all my things into the trash bag, hoping it would fit everything.

I realized I hadn't even cleaned or disinfected any of my tools yet by the time Rigo confronted me. I was still having a hard time believing any of this was happening.

I kept throwing expensive tools loose into the trash bag, covered in hair and other, worse, things. I knew I couldn't stop to clean and take care of my gear, he'd made that pretty clear.

Once I was done, I went to wash my hands in the bathroom.

I came back into the rest of the shop and dapped Rigo, saying, "Thanks for everything, man."

"Thank YOU, Compadre Whitney."

I walked towards the front door, dapping the other barber on the way.

"Take it easy, Tali."

"You too, Whitney."

I picked up my bag of tools and left the shop.

It wasn't until I was on the freeway, sitting in traffic, that I started thinking...

...the irony of the barber / owner who also happens to be—according to the second longest-serving barber there, my own observation, and reviews on Yelp (complete with the one calling him out by name and including a photo of him in the review)—a barber with questionable customer service skills at best, who decides to fire me on the spot for apparently being rude, or whatever my "attitude" otherwise consists of, which he refuses to discuss with me...

...this irony in particular...

...is just richer than he is since he let go of his cleaning lady weeks ago...

I spent the rest of the drive home thinking about how I had just been fired from a job for the first time since I was in my 20s, which was 20 years ago.

Thinking about how, even with my and my fiancée's full-time jobs, we have barely been getting by even after moving to the valley to save money.

Thinking about how he didn't stop at firing me, but implied a physical threat that I felt viscerally and was scared by, insulted me, insulted somehow even the Proper Barbershop while he was at it, and did all of this with the utmost hypocrisy and no chance for actionable feedback.

Right before I arrived home, I realized I hadn't grabbed my barber license, which I knew had been hanging above the big mirror.

I parked the car and grabbed the bag of tools. As they jostled and I was jaywalking across Magnolia towards the apartment complex, picking up pace while a car came careening out of a side street right towards me, my clippers turned on inside the bag.

The machine shook the whole bag in my hands and the sound of the blades vibrating while buried under a mountain of tools was loud enough to somehow hear over traffic. I imagined the worst, thinking, "there's no way."

Then the bottom of the bag broke and my tools hit the concrete in the middle of the street.

Had I gotten hit by that car, I wouldn't be typing this on August 21, but here we are.

My fiancée and I sobbed on the floor of the apartment while I put dirty clippers, scissors, razors and combs into my rolling luggage piece-by-piece and the cat watched us, unmoved.

I'm still not sure something wasn't broken.

I wanted to write this account up before enough time passed that my memory became fuzzy.

Before I could check and find out.

Once I wasn't crying, or remembering Rigo calling me a "fag" randomly at work, or some other uncomfortable memory of my time at Barbershop Las Flores, I realized he had done me a huge favor.

I know my worth now and I feel confident at cutting hair for the first time in my career. I'll never not call out the kind of behavior I took from Rigo from day one anywhere else ever again. If it happens day one, I walk day one. I deserve better.

I checked my phone for the first time since I had been fired.

I had an appointment for tomorrow.

It must have been booked in between me getting fired and me arriving home and finally checking my phone. Possibly right at the moment that my tools landed in the middle of Magnolia Blvd.

I cancelled the appointment, apologized to that customer and blocked off my availability at Barbershop Las Flores.

Then I thought about something.

I checked the transaction from Rigo's customer.

He tipped me ten dollars.