#some of you have BPD and it's a moth to the flame effect | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

elytrafemme · 2 years ago

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you all will be infuriated with me but i’m being dead serious this time, this isn’t a “haha let’s get my mutuals telling me they think i have this in a joking way” this is like, i’m seriously considering this sort of thing.

i’m wondering if i was wrong about the borderline thing.

and to be clear because i know at least some people might jump on this, i’m not saying all the symptoms i attributed to it are gone. those are still existent and bpd is the best explanation out of the countless of other conditions i’ve read research papers about, talked to professionals about, or otherwise studied. like this is the best thing i have to go off of.

but i think i’m very used to being wrong about these things. i was wrong about being part of a system, which i guess i can elaborate on but at this point like, i give up, at some point i’ll go through and delete my pluralkit because i’m tired of this shit. i was wrong about every other condition i thought i had and to be clear part of why i thought i had those conditions was me just trying to humble any other option but bpd. so if they were successful, well, that’d be unexpected.

but that still makes it extremely strange and i honestly am doubting if i have bpd anymore.

#nightmare.personal #i don't know if this is one of those things that's kind of socially inappropriate to say but it's honest so i will #most people who have BPD are way more fucked up than me #like yes i'm definitely fucked up. compared to some of my friends yeah absolutely.#but especially with childhood shit like. it's a lot more intense than what i remember.#and yes yes there's a lot i don't remember. sure. i just found out two days ago that my parents fighting with my brother a lot #might have affected me mentally. so like there's a lack of understanding here.#but i don't think you guys really get how fucked up some of your lives have been #and like. yes i've been in near death situations sure. whatever.#but what's different between me and all these other people is you guys had stuff going on physically #and mine wasn't exactly physical. i probably could have died. but it would have been a psychological thing more than anything #and that's not exactly in the neat little handbook most support groups carry so who's normal pilled now huh #also i'm sure half of you do not give a shit about this but #some of you have BPD and it's a moth to the flame effect #the system thing will get at least one auto like because patterns #so people do care about this but most of you don't and ultimately this is useless #i'm just tired of this. and i think i need to do something about it soon.

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