#some of these got weirdly business oriented idk why

[schoenpepper]

Chivalry Should Die!

Intro: Or, how to kill chivalry in five steps, featuring Idia Shroud!

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread I got lazyyyy, mentions of hentai lmao, reader is not yuu, idia highkey being a loser

A/N: This is a request from an anon. Not sure if this is actually what they wanted, but if you're reading this I hope you like it. Kinda short idk I was really busy with that Jade songfic.

Masterlist

Opening the door

As the heir of a kingdom, you've long since been trained to be respectful, etiquette and decorum seared into your flesh and carved into your bones. Perhaps with such an upbringing, Royal Sword Academy would have been for you.

But the invitation is black.

Your first day in Night Raven College is nothing too interesting. You're sorted into Ignihyde (ha!), your housewarden is a floating tablet, and some magicless folk with a rabid cat crashed orientation, starting off the year with a literal bang! You're unphased, a polite smile on your lips as you gather your things and your wits and line up to head to the dorm. You go through the mirror and up the stone stairs that led to the building in its weird mishmash of ancient architecture and blue triangles and holograms.

You, being the very kind person you are, open the door for the tablet.

It stops in mid-air.

"What...? Did you just open the door for a tablet? Lolz! Wtf you're such a weird freshie lmao. Imagine being that person, idk couldn't be me ig."

You keep on smiling.

(But the urge to punt the tablet all the way back to the hall of mirrors is strong.)

Carrying items

"Oh, let me help you, senpai."

"Huh? No, I'm okay..."

You glance at the large box, clearly heavy and stuffed to the brim by whatever was inside it and your senior slash housewarden who was doing his best to lug it up the stairs as he panted. "Are you sure? You look like you're having trouble." You watch him carry it to the second step.

"Totally fine, yep, nothing weird here, nope, nuh uh, I don't need help."

Idia avoids your eyes. The tips of his hair are turning a faint pink, and the fact that Ortho wasn't the one doing the heavy lifting was really the very first giveaway that something was wrong.

You narrow your eyes and step back.

"If you say so, Idia senpai. But why don't you just use—" he accidentally drops the box back onto the ground, watching, horrified, as its contents spilled out, "—magic to...carry it..."

"No, Y/N, don't look!"

You pick up a thick book from the pile on the ground to help him gather it all. Manga, was it? Upon accidentally reading the title, you give him the most disgusted look you could ever muster.

Idia screams until Ortho comes by to help him put his hentai manga back into the box.

Always be on time

You and Idia had agreed; 4 p.m. Not too early, not too late to work on that essay you needed to pass by tomorrow. He's a good friend and upperclassman if nothing else, so he offered to help you with the topic, which was included in his wide range of expertise. The catch is that you had to do it in his room.

You knock on the door at exactly 4.

No answer.

You take out your phone and send him a quick message. When he doesn't immediately answer, you call Ortho instead.

"Hello, Y/N!"

"Hey Ortho, do you know where Idia is? He promised to help me with an essay and he's not in his room."

"Older brother and I are in the Shaftlands!"

You smile (instead of cracking your phone into pieces). "Really? And when did you leave?"

"We left this morning because there's a comic convention that brother wanted to go to."

"I see. Thank you, Ortho."

Help getting down from a carriage

You hop down the carriage and hold out a hand to Idia. He looks at your hand weirdly, hair pink as he murmurs something you couldn't quite understand (you just know it's something annoying though). He gingerly puts his hand on yours and carefully descends from the carriage.

And by carefully, you mean, of course, that he lets go of your hand halfway and trips on the stairs before faceplanting into the dirt.

You sigh and carry him in your arms.

"Eek! Is this a limited edition SSR CG?!"

"What?"

"I mean, where are you taking me?"

You look at him dead in the eye and press on his left ankle.

"Ouch! Oh...okay..."

Paying for a date

First date! You don't know how, but you managed to convince Idia to eat out in a fancy restaurant with you (if only because you know that he will never agree to anything like this ever again). The food is nice and the ambience is tolerable even though the two of you are in a public space (you chose a private room but to Idia it's still a public space apparently). At the end of the night, the waiter puts the bill on the table and leaves.

"I'll take the—" When your hand reaches for the check, Idia grasps onto your wrist.

"No."

"No?"

He shakes his head.

"I'll pay for it because...you asked me out so...it's only fair..."

"No, it's unbecoming of a royal to not even pay for their partner's food."

He is weirdly competitive about this.

Anyway, at the end of the night, the check accidentally rips in half (the waiter wonders why) and you successfully pay for the full meal.

[angel-gidget]

Iron Dad Obscure Movie AUs

Well, with Nano finally done, I've been thinking about trying to toe-dip into writing fannish things again. I've got a WIP or two on my hard drive for when I'm in a bat-fandom sort of mood, but I've been wanting to jot down some Iron Dad ideas for a while now. Of course, this desire was an especially frustrating one bc I didn't have any fresh ideas for a long while.

I've been really blessed bc every time I think of a premise I want to see executed using Tony and Peter's dynamic, I just have to wait about a week before somebody else thinks the same thing and writes it better than I ever could. Ah, the joys of a large and creative fandom!

But coming up with ideas can still be fun in itself, so I used a tried and true cornerstone of fannish brainstorming: just list off some of your favorite movies and then consider how it could act as an AU for your chosen fandom. Suffice to say it worked, and I ended up with some fairly unique plot bunnies.

Lost Boys AU

Tony and Peter are doing a commercial retreat in Santa Carla. Vampires have infested the circle of Tony's business associates and they try to prey on the former playboy's old addictions to lure him into the coven.

Meanwhile, Peter befriends the local vampire hunters and begins to see the signs of Tony's descent. It becomes a desperate scramble for them both when they realize that Tony has been tricked into drinking vampire blood and has already begun to turn. (Featuring Gwen Stacy and Harry Osborn as our local vampire-hunting Frog Brother stand-ins. Maybe with Eddie Brock as their hapless mentor?)

Hudsucker Proxy AU

Take #1: When Tony is presumed dead in Afghanistan, Obadiah Stane decides to make a show of finding a child genius of Tony's caliber to become the new poster boy for Stark Industries R&D. He chooses Peter Parker with plans to turn the kid into his puppet, but Peter is smarter than he appears, and when the ten year old finds a way to contact the not-so-dead Tony Stark, Obadiah's every plan goes haywire.

Take #2: When Justin Hammer commits suicide, one of his board members sees an opportunity. That is, Norman Osborn sees an opportunity. Norman decides to select his son's friend, scandalously underage mailroom employee Peter Parker, as the new head of Hammer industries. Hoping to devalue the stock to the point that he can buy it despite its distribution to the pubic, Norman plans for a hostile takeover.

However, his plans are threatened when young Parker turns out to be a little too brilliant. The plucky teen actually designs a working product that could move Hammer Industries out of the weapons business and into the medical field. To make matters worse, the youth somehow knows about Norman’s under-the-table genetic experiments, and keeps digging further into it.

As stock value rises, and the boy gets even nosier, the solution to Norman's problem seems simple: murder Peter Parker. Unfortunately, Peter is harder to kill than originally calculated, and superhero billionaire Tony Stark has chosen the worst time to start caring about the well-being of his "itsy bitsy business rival."

The Court Jester AU

When Lord Tony Stark sided with prince Thor against the usurper-king Loki, he didn't realize it would get him exiled. He's been stuck in a wasteland taking orders from famed outlaw and freedom-fighter Steve Rogers for years now. A lack of trust on the Captain's part has left Tony's skills woefully under-used, but his next assignment gives him a little bit of hope: infiltrate Loki's castle and lower the defenses from the inside. It sounds like a job worthy of Tony's skills, but there's a catch.

There's only one way in: impersonate the renowned father-son jester duo due to arrive at King Loki's castle within the month. To seal the ruse, Tony has been paired with young Peter Parker, a fellow genius with a dangerously endearing demeanor. The kid seems capable enough, so nothing should go wrong whatsoever. Theoretically. They didn’t exactly account for all the other secret conspiracies going down in Loki’s court. Peter’s kind heart and rotten luck proceed to get them sucked into every. last. one.

[whaleofatjme1920]

Dealing With People Who Don't Care (Ticci Toby X F!Reader)

Dealing With People Who Don't Care

[Ticci Toby X F!Reader]

[Warnings: slight language and calls to violence? Bullying, slight yandere behavior]

[AN: Requested from ѕρσσку яανισlι on Quotev! Idk if I'm ready to tell y'all that this was basically my first quarter of college.]

College wasn’t supposed to be like this, at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. When you graduated from high school, you were told that petty drama and catty people were going to fade away because that was high school and this is college. Something new, something for young adults, and something you’d been looking forward to for far, far too long.

Truth be told, in high school, you didn’t really have any problems. You mostly got along with the people you did talk to and aside from a few arcs which you lovingly call ‘character development’, you generally kept your head down and to yourself which allowed you to stay off some of the cruller people’s radars. You were liked when it was necessary but ultimately stuck to yourself.

How did it all go so wrong?

When you first came in on orientation day, you’d met up with a group of girls and bonded on the train ride back to campus. There was a group chat made and you were a ready part of it. You felt nicely about your entire situation because these were nice girls, and they treated you like you held the sun and rose the moon. Is that what positive friendship was like?

For the first few weeks, everything with them was a bliss. Unfortunately, you were the only person from that group in your specific branch and major. This meant that you often spent most of your daylight hours alone or with yourself entirely. The other girls all had majors that were almost word for word the same, and that meant that they spent a lot of time together. Slowly, that had been growing closer and closer to each other and leaving you out.

It came in small doses at first, and you had chalked it up to your nature being so different from theirs. They were much more extroverted than you ever could have been. They were fire, and you were ice. But that did not mean that you were boring, or any less interesting, you were just quieter, preferring to take this just as softly. Wandering around the city with maybe one or two people, talking about the things that matter as opposed to getting wasted in a crowded apartment with fifty people who don’t even care about your wellbeing.

That’s what was different about you than them.

“Hey ladies,” you smile widely as you take your tray of food from the cafeteria to the table where all the girls sat. You notice that they’re all engrossed in conversation but quickly turn to greet you with smiles and waves.

“Hi, Reader! How has your day been?” Maria greets, her fingers gently tugging through her blonde hair. “Me and Georgina were just talking about you.”

Georgina nods and pats the seat next to her for you to sit down. “Yeah, what have you been up to?”

You take a seat next to the redhead and sip from your drink. “It was alright. With midterms coming up though… Little stressed,” you admit as the two girls sitting around you frown in response. “Lots of essays, some minor discussion posts, a group project but we’re just starting it early because it counts for like, 20 percent of our grade and is part of our final,” you say as you stab into your food.

“Oh? A group project?” Georgina asks with a raise of her eyebrow.

You nod. “It’s actually more like a partner project. I’m paired with this guy named Toby? But like, I haven’t seen him yet - he doesn’t show up to class,” you sigh.

“Maybe try emailing the professor,” Maria suggests. “But I’m sure you’ll do just fine,” she hums with a small smile, her hand reaching over and gripping yours warmly.

From there, the conversation that follows has you drifting away. By now, a third girl has joined the conversation and her name is Helena. Helena is also in the same class as you with the group project, but she isn’t as close to you as Georgina and Maria are. She greets you just as warmly but she turns the conversation in a direction you weren’t expecting.

Laughter rings out from the table.

“And that guy from last night?” Georgina giggles.

“He was insane!” Maria adds. “You have to come inside!” She mockingly says before bursting into another fit of giggles.

“And he dressed so weirdly,” Helena continues. “Ratty as all hell jacket and then followed us into the theatre? Asked to show us magic tricks-” she’s not even able to finish her words because she’s laughing much too hard.

You tilt your head slightly. “What happened last night?” You ask.

The girls pause for a moment. “Don’t worry about it,” Georgina says as she swats off your question. “You weren’t there.”

“This was last night?” You ask again.

They nod.

“Yeah, wasn’t anything special,” Maria attempts to shrug off before those three continue with their conversation and inside jokes.

You eat in silence, every now and then smiling and offering forced laughter as you think about what you did last night. You weren’t doing anything, in fact, your roommate went out on a date with her boyfriend and left you in the dorm all along. So, you finished your work a little early and started on some other things, then watched Netflix and fell asleep before midnight. You were free the entire night.

And they didn’t even think to invite you.

From there, you started to notice all the times they forgot about you and excluded you. It carried on in the sloughed off invites, the ‘sorry we can’t meet up for dinner,’ and generally just avoiding you. They had jokes they couldn’t share with you, and you were at their side, they acted like you weren’t even there until it faded into nothing.

Reader: Are you guys doing anything tonight?

Maria is typing…

Maria: no not tonight :(

Reader: oh okay! But if any of you want to come to Target with me or something..? Maria: sorry, I’m busy!

Georgina is typing…

Helena is typing…

After that, they’d left you on read, not even bothering to answer you. Later that night on snapchat, you saw the three of them wandering the city without you, laughing and having a good time.

Instead of talking to them right away, you focused on your classes and your work. And that meant finally tagging down toby.

You’d managed to finally get him in your sight after emailing your professor who struck some type of fear into him. You were able to meet him face to face at a little cafe somewhere off campus.

“Over h-here,” he calls out from near the window of the cafe, waving you towards the back.

You flash him a quick smile and let it fall before finally taking a seat across from him. You’re slightly surprised to see that there’s a cup of hot chocolate and a chocolate chip muffin is there waiting for you. “Oh, uh, thank you,” you say as you get comfortable.

“It’s n-nothing,” he says with a small smile. “I-I’m sorry for k-keeping you w-w-waiting all t-this time,” he continues in an apologetic tone. “T-Things with my f-family aren’t e-easy right n-now.”

Not wanting to push him, you nod and smile reassuringly. “It’s okay,” you relent. “So, this project..?”

“It’ll b-be a breeze,” he replies. “D-Don’t worry about i-it, yeah?” He picks up his own cup of hot chocolate to fight off the child of mid autumn and nods to you, his dark eyes scanning over your form. “I w-wanna know j-just who I’m w-working with.” He smirks slightly, the corners of his mouth pulling up like a know-it-all cat.

You look into your cup of hot chocolate and shrug. “Nothing too interesting,” you attempt to slide off.

Toby rolls his eyes. “Calling b-bull,” he snorts. “You l-look stressed. W-What’s on your m-m-mind?”

You sigh deeply and relax your body as you think back to the situation with those girls. “It’s nothing.”

Toby hums once more but does not push you. Deep down though, he knows something is wrong.

And that’s how it carries on. You and Toby meet every so often to work on your presentation and your paper together and your so called friends continually leave you in the dust. Before you know it, you’re spending more and more time with Toby than anyone else, and because of that, you don’t feel nearly as alone as you used to.

From Toby’s perspective, he would never tell you what he thought when he first saw you walk through those doors of the cafe to finally meet him in person.

When he first got that email in regards to him not showing up and worrying you, he’d rolled his eyes and pretended it didn’t matter. It was whatever, who cares? Apparently you. With a slight gripe in the back of his head, he looked you up on social media with the help of a friend named Ben and found all that he needed to know just by looking at your profile. He was almost ashamed to admit how enraptured with you he had become. That’s why he was so adamant you met him at a cafe, where he could spend time with just you.

When he saw you walking through the doors, his eyes scanned over every inch of you. You had a slight bounce in your walk despite it being so chilly.

He wondered if you wanted to be warmed up.

You looked so soft in his eyes, so sweet and so alluring. Just your looks alone was all he needed as water for a growing obsession.

Toby is addictive by nature. Seeing you was what allowed that addiction to take off. When he heard your voice? He felt like he was high.

He knew something was wrong with you when you sighed like that. It was a loaded sigh. Of course, after the two of you parted ways for the night and on good terms, he immediately dug into the lives of your so-called ‘friends.’ Let’s just say that damn near instantly, he did not like them.

Maria, a nursing major. He considered her an air head that wouldn’t get anywhere with substance, and saw that she was much more of a party girl than anything else.

Georgina, another nursing major. Also considered her a lost cause.

Helena, a medical assistant major. Toby considered her the worst one, but it didn’t come at first. He found that girl was vile in every sense. The things he’s overhead her saying about other people? Terrible. The things he’s overhead her saying about you? Absolutely unacceptable.

He noticed her whispers that cut like thorns wrapping around you from the shadows as he sat in class near her, but never next to her. He listened to the filth that poured from her mouth and was able to pick up the conversations from her phone like it was nothing.

And all of that? It lit a fire in him, a fire that would eventually burn her down and scorch her until she was nothing but ashes.

You’re about to head to class and present your final project with Toby. You look like a mess, and it’s not just from the lack of sleep because of your other class’s finals, but because you are absolutely emotionally drained and have nothing left to give. You’d finally formally broken up from those girls, but it did not come without tears.

Reader: hey guys, it’s been a little while, but I just wanted to get some things off of my chest before I call it. First and foremost, I want to thank you for the time we did spend together, but I don’t feel safe or happy anymore. These past few weeks have been nothing but straight ice and being left out and I’m just… I’m tired, for a lack of better words. I know that you don’t really want me around anymore, so I thought I’d just nip this one in the bud before it got out of hand or anything like that. I just - whatever, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to offend you.

Georgina is typing…

Georgina: Honestly don’t take this the wrong way but you legitimately brought this all onto yourself.

Georgina: you don’t really talk to us the way that we talk to each other

Reader: but you literally never gave me a chance???

Maria: shes right tho,,,,, like, you just always kept to yourself. You didnt really give us anything to go off of

Georgina: right??? And it’s not like she’d actually do any of the things we wanted to do either

Reader: I’m sorry but like, I offered for you guys to come do some things with me and I even asked for you to tell me when you guys were making plans - I would have gone out

Helena: does it even matter now though? You brought literally all of this onto yourself there’s no use for you to just beg us for you to come back lol. Just stop while you’re ahead

Helena: you were never really there to begin with tbh you just kinda existed

Maria: exactly that! Like im glad we’re getting stuff off our chest because omg did you get on my nerves. Always quiet and just watching??? Never saying anything??

Georgina: RIGHT It was like a literal ghost in the room LMFAO

Reader: are you fucking serious right now?

Reader: you’re going to act like this?

Maria: you brought it on yourself

Helena: it was bound to happen

Reader: I cannot believe you guys are acting like such assholes right now

Maria: you did it first though?????

Helena: ^^^^

Georgina: ^^^^

From there, the conversation had delved into them throwing all of their problems onto you. It honestly felt like projecting, but you had a class to go to and project to present and no time to cry.

You wiped your tears, got ready for the day and headed out to your building from out of your dorm. Soon, you would be on break and away from this place that’s driving you up a wall.

You walked across campus and plastered a faint smile on your face as you continued to move through the nippy air. You enjoyed seeing the leaves as they danced on the flowing air and eventually kissed the sidewalk. You could smell pumpkin spice and the remnants of November. What a beautiful season.

Waiting for you outside of Wendell’s Hall was Toby, hands in his pockets as he leaned up against the wall just beside the door.

“Were you waiting for me?” You ask with a small smile.

“Maybe,” he hums with a small smirk. “C-C’mon, it’s a little c-chilly out here,” he says as he gently shuffles you inside after opening the door for you. He watches you carefully as you walk through the halls and find the elevator to get to the sixth floor.

As the two of you wait for the doors to open, Toby checks you over.

“What?” You say with a small chuckle.

“J-Just checking,” Toby hums. “A-Are you okay?” He asks as the doors open. He nods for you to go in first, and then follows in directly after. He watches your finger press the button for six.

“Why?”

“You s-seem a l-little tense,” he says as he looks over you again, his eyes narrowing in on yours. “I-Is it the p-presentation?”

You hold your hand out and make a ‘so-so’ motion. “I guess,” you reply, attempting to shove off anything that might make you cry again. Your eyes are a little dark, and your skin is still soft from the saline, raw from you rubbing those pearls of water with your sleeves repeatedly.

“You w-wanna talk a-about it l-later?” He asks softly, his hand resting warmly on your shoulder as he brings you into his side.

You look up at him and smile. “We’ll see.”

When the doors open, you and Toby quickly make it to your class and are pleased to see there’s spots open and the two of you can sit together. Toby is quick to snag the seats for the both of you and his warm expression falls when he sees Helena waltzing into the room.

Helena sits a little ways from where you and Toby sit before she wiggles her fingers at you like a nonverbal smile before actually turning her lips up in a fake saccharine smile.

You shift uncomfortably and instead focus on your presentation. You feel a little nervous, mostly because Helena is here and this is also a big chunk of your grade. You’re academically passing with flying colors, but a hiccup like this could spell something bad. You breathe out deeply when you feel Toby’s hand resting on your shoulder, grounding you.

“We g-g-got this,” he says with a small smile, squeezing you lightly. “You w-wwanna get it out of the w-w-ay?”

“No,” you reply suddenly. “I just want to see how this goes.”

Toby nods and turns his attention to the other students that continue to walk through the door. “A-Anything for y-y-you,” he says softly.

You barely hear it, but you smile all the same.

Presentations pass in a pretty boring manner. Your professor seems pleased with everyone that presents, and she offers praise and saves the criticism for emails, but so far, it seems like everyone is doing well! You’re almost fully calm by the time you raise your hand to present but when Helena and her partner begin snickering, your heart sinks to your knees.

“Alright, you two are good to go,” your professor says with a warm, reassuring smile on her face after she pulls up your project on the overhead projector. “Giving the remote to Miss Reader, whenever you two are ready.” She holds the remote out to you and then whispers ‘you’re gonna do great’ before taking her seat in the front row.

You silently thank her for her reassurance and then turn your attention to Toby, who begins the presentation.

You make sure to speak clearly and concisely as you present your project, paying close attention to detail and everything that was outlined on the rubric. You watch your professor’s expression light up brighter and brighter as you carry on with your half of the presentation. It seems that she’s really pleased with the both of you, but especially you!

Your big hiccup comes when the questions part of your presentation comes up.

See, prior to this, the questions portion had been empty and pretty dead. But of course, because Helena is here, she’s dead set on making you flop.

When she starts firing questions, you and Toby answer them to the best of your abilities. Admittedly, you are more than mentally dead at this point. With every question that Helena digs into you, you feel your brain cells dying off at an even faster rate. The lights of the projector bore into you and make you dizzy. You’re just… exhausted.

Helena finally poses a question that makes your face heat up. “So?” She taunts, her eyes looking at you innocently. “I just wanna know,” she continues, her eyes flashing.

You should be able to answer this. It’s so simple and right there in your bank of knowledge you just can’t open the vault.

“Miss Reader..?” Your professor quietly asks, pulling you from your thoughts. “Are you able to-” You shake your head, feeling numb and cold all at the same time. “I’m sorry, no,” you whisper. It was one of the first things you learned in the class and one of the most important.

Your professor nods and mouths, ‘don’t worry,’ before turning to the rest of her class. “Alright then, you two are dismissed. Give them a round of applause for their work.”

The applause surrounds you but you do not feel it, and when you move back to your seat, you can’t help but feel embarrassed. The looks that you get from those around you are of pity and ‘she hasn’t learned anything this quarter, has she?’ It makes your face burn with embarrassment and you feel so unnaturally warm because of it. A rush of emotions comes over you when you see Helena’s shifty glances and hear her insipid giggles and you hurriedly get your things together and bolt out of the classroom.

Toby shoots up when you rush out and he’s not able to catch you. Instead, he sits in for the rest of the class to give you some space and anything else the professor may say. His glare is turned on Helena. When she flashes him that same sickly sweet, mocking smile, he sees red.

Class ends shortly after that, the professor clearly uncomfortable with whatever just happened with Helena and Toby is keeping his ire hidden until what comes after he deals with you. He’s got a few choice things in mind he’d like to do to Helena, mostly spinal disfigurement and popping bones from their joints and scattering them across the country, but he knows he has to play this as slimy as she did. He’s already conjuring up ways to academically cripple her.

Toby pushes those thoughts to the side before he makes his way to your dorm. He’s nodding to the guy at the front desk and running up the stairs to find you faster than his thoughts can even gather. He just wants to make sure you’re okay.

He walks through the hall of your floor before going over the room numbers. He’s only been in your dorm once - the two of you tend to spend time with each other outside of the campus. Twenty four hour McDonalds, out and about in the city, public parks, the two of you just like wandering. When he sees the numbers of your dorm, he internally sighs and knocks. “H-Hey, Reader? Y-You in t-t-there?” He asks as he knocks again.

From inside, you shuffle underneath your sheets. He’s here? You don’t answer.

“I j-just want to make s-sure you’re alright,” he continues in a soft voice. “If you n-need space though, I c-c-can go-” he barely makes the motion to move when you open the door just a crack.

You look up at Toby with dark, puffy eyes. You can’t bring yourself to say anything, but he can see that you’ve been through hell and back emotionally. You look like a mess, in less graceful words.

“Oh g-gods,” he murmurs as you push open the door just a bit more. “R-Reader,” he says softly as he takes you into his arms, his shoe gently pushing the door closed as you wrap your arms around his waist, taking in the scent of graphite and sandalwood as you sob into his chest. “What h-happened, s-sweetheart?” He asks softly as he rocks the two of you back and forth.

You continue to cry into his chest and grip onto the back of his hoodie as he gently maneuvers you to the side of your bed to let your tired body rest. “S-She’s so mean!” You cry as you continue to squeeze your eyes shut, still gripping Toby like he’s the only thing grounding you.

“What h-have they d-d-done to you?” He inquires in a tone just a little louder than a whisper. Internally, he knows he’ll make all three of those demons suffer and leave the school, by any means necessary. He just wants to hear it from you to know how hard he needs to fuck up their lives. Judging by this interaction alone? It’s monumental.

You then go into a painful detailing of everything those girls have ever made you feel, at one point even bringing up the chats you have saved on your phone. Your breathing begins to even, but Toby’s vision grows redder and redder.

He listens to everything you say as you recount your pain to him and he grits his teeth. Especially those chats - those are unforgivable.

You’re exhausted by the time you finally finish telling him everything they’ve made you feel and the things they’ve done to make you feel this way. You finish it with just a few more words. “They make me feel so small,” you admit through sniffles and broken breaths. “They just - they made me feel so left out and so insignificant,” you admit, still wiping away tears.

Toby holds you tighter before one of his hands reaches up to cup your cheek. “N-No! You’re n-not insignificant, you’re e-everything and m-more,” he begins to ramble. “Y-You’re s-s-so smart and p-put together and o-on top of i-it,” he continues, his thumb wiping away your residual tears.

“You’re just saying that-”

“I w-would never,” he cuts you off in a tone that’s more serious than he intended. “I m-mean everything I s-s-say and those g-girls suck. They d-don’t hold a candle to you,” he says as he cups your face.

“Toby…”

Toby hushes you by pressing a soft, almost scared he might spook you kiss to your lips as if he’s testing the waters. When you make no motion to fight him, he presses just a little more fervently before pulling away, leaving you with stars in your eyes. “I’ll handle e-e-everything, okay?” He promises softly, watching as the stars fade to exhaustion. “G-Get some r-r-rest,” he coos.

You allow him to lay you down as he moves the blankets to cover you before he gets up to turn off the lights. “You’re going to handle it?” You whisper as you allow sleep to veil over your body.

“Y-Yes, I’ll handle e-e-everything,” he promises again, flicking the lights off.

Toby fumbles through the dark for just a moment before slipping back into bed with you, allowing you to wrap around him like an octopus. He cradles you in his arms, his lips pressing to your forehead. “Sleepy t-time,” he mumbles as you cuddle into his chest.

You smile softly and feel your body go light, only anchored by Toby’s warm embrace.

[galacticlamps]

Tagged by @the--highlanders​ ! Thanks!

How many works do you have on AO3?

13

What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,200

(oh what a nice even number - I should try to mess that up as soon as possible, shouldn’t I?)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Aw man is this intentionally worded to be really hard to answer? I get that it says ‘written’ and not ‘posted’ but then what constitutes a ‘fandom?’ I definitely wrote fics for stuff I was interested in long before I even knew the word ‘fic’ - I did it throughout my childhood, and then in high school, and while I didn’t do it as much in college, it still happened from time to time. So a lot of the books/movies/tv shows/plays/musicals I wrote things for aren’t really fandoms, and frankly, I had to check my old folder just now to even remember some of them existed. I’ll just list the ones that I know for sure had fandoms, since that’s more fun (and embarrassing), right?

Obviously Doctor Who, classic and modern, Torchwood, Sherlock Holmes (ironically more of these seem to be about the books, but yes, I will admit, some for that tv show too), Les Mis, a couple different Marvel comics & movies, Good Omens, hell, I even found a Night Vale fic in there just now.

And I know there are other older things not even in that folder, some of which never made it to a computer at all, so if I had to ballpark a number I’d probably say around 25ish but really, who knows?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Across the Gap

On the Spot

Expectations

Shards of Memories & Fragments of Glass

Itemized

(this was fun, I’d never noticed Ao3 even had a stats page until now lol)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I take a long time to do so but for the most part, I usually get around to it. The rare exception would be if I first saw the comment when I was super busy/distracted and then felt like way too much time passed before I noticed it again, that it might be awkward if I said something at that point.

I do genuinely enjoy hearing what people think, but I’m also weirdly terrified of making anyone feel like they have to reply to my comments. I know that’s probably a little strange, but it’s actually a large part of why I made this Ao3 account in the first place - my original one, from high school, is followed by some long-time friends of mine who aren’t interested in this fandom, some of whom are involved in art & writing professionally. The thought of anyone like that reading something I wrote out of friendliness or even just curiosity and potentially having to pretend they liked it for the same reasons stressed me tf out, so I like having this virtually anonymous one because I can relax knowing that anyone who reads or interacts with something I wrote has probably done so only because they wanted to, rather than feeling obligated, and there’s no pressure on them to be nice to me about it if anything I write or post annoys them - so I really hope nobody who does just know me as an anonymous blog has ever worried about offending me by not replying to something, trust me, I’m perfectly happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think I’ve really written any angsty endings? I guess the answer would have to be Reckless just because it involves the characters arguing about sad/weighty things and there isn’t really any solution to those issues - but even then I think I ended it with a kind of acceptance that stops it from really qualifying as angst? I also set it in the the same universe as other fics, so maybe that doesn’t even count as an ending? Am I that bad at ending things on angst? Lol

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Obviously none of the fics I’ve posted are crossovers but I’m trying to think now if any of my WIP’s are - I’ve definitely poached setting/premise ideas from other media, but in terms of actual crossovers . . . I’ve got a few cross-era or cross-Doctor, a few involving Torchwood, but that’s already the same universe, so the only thing that’d qualify as a true crossover would be some vague pieces of a fic where Jamie, Zoe, and Two end up on the Enterprise, since I think the 60s series of Star Trek and Dr Who feel kind of compatible, don’t they? In fact, aren’t there like officially licensed crossover comics or something? Or did I make that up? Idk, and the ideas are very loose, so it’s not much of a WIP either

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, never

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve never written smut, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that could change soon. There’s a longish multi-chapter fic I’ve been working on for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, and the plot does call for a sex scene at one point towards the end, but I can’t seem to make up my mind on how - uh, I guess the word is explicit? - it should get. I know I could easily do a fade to black/implication thing, but it’s kind of a source of contention and anxiety for the characters, so to skip over writing the actual scene and just revisit them afterwards rings of “and they slept together and now everything’s fine!” which feels kinda cheap to me - in this context, anyway - and not the right payoff for a long fic that’s otherwise more of an interpersonal drama/slightly a period piece, if I had to place it in a genre. I feel like my aversion to actually writing the scene might just be prudishness I should get over, or maybe just self-doubt, because I know I’d rather have a well-written, funny, character-development-supporting sex scene than nothing at all, but since I’ve never had any interest in writing a scene like that before, I don’t know if I can do it well, and I also don’t want to ruin a fic I’m otherwise proud of by doing it badly... ugh I have to figure this out

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I seriously doubt it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, it’s gotta be Two & Jamie. I’ve shipped things before with varying levels of investment, but I’ve never been able to use the term ‘otp’ in a literal sense until I came across them, and now it’s already basically gone out of fashion, go figure!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m not sure if I have one? My WIP doc is huge, but I don’t actually intend to get around to finishing everything in it, so I’d like to think that anything I’ve currently singled out to complete can actually get done.

That said, I do have a few AU’s that I don’t really plan to finish, but it might be cool if I could. Two of them are for all the main + some supporting characters of the Second Doctor’s era - one’s a modern day school teachers AU, and the other is a typical fantasy/fairy tale AU. Another is just Two/Jamie, based on Doctor Faustus (specifically the Marlowe play version) but right now there are two different versions of the ending coexisting in my head. I’ve written parts of scenes & some gen. backstory for all of those ideas, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try to finish them, or what form a finished product would even take - a series of one-shots set in the same universe? one long multi-chapter fic with some kind of overarching plot? And the amount of context/worldbuilding a big AU like these would require might not make them very appealing fics for people to read, so maybe it is better if I just keep them to myself, since in my head I already know what’s going on in those worlds lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had a creative writing class since middle school, and since then I’ve only ever shown creative writing to others in a fandom context, so it’s been a while since I’ve discussed it or gotten critical feedback. I suppose when I work in other arts or even academic writing contexts, people usually say I’m kind of insightful or at least detail oriented, which might just be another way of saying I overthink things, but I like to imagine I’m decent at finding little points of interest to expand upon.

What are your writing weaknesses?

If you’ve read this far I feel like you must know what I’m about to say: I do not know how to be concise.

Usually when I’m writing a fic, I put down the dialogue first on its own, leaving out the action of the scene and whatever plot/context led there, even if I’ve already figured all of that out. But then when I go to add those things in, they’re always longer than I wanted them to be. I don’t mind writing something long, but I don’t want my fics to be a slog to get through either, and there can be a point at which the stuff I’ve added for context overwhelms the stuff that I wanted the fic to be about in the first place, so it becomes a structural/proportion issue too. I haven’t completely given up on any fics because of this yet, but there’s one I’ve been struggling with for a couple months now - probably because I’m even second-guessing myself on which scenes need to be written out and which can just be referenced like a recap. Hopefully I figure that one out soon.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

((this is karma isn’t it? i posted a fic last week with two words of gaelic in it and was worried about that and now this is karma))

In general, I don’t want to do it. I feel like you’ve gotta have a really good grasp of a language to write dialogue & speech patterns for someone who’s a native speaker, and since I’m far from fluent in any language the characters I write for are, I wouldn’t feel confident writing any significant amount of dialogue in, say, Gaelic.

As a sidenote, though, I kinda love it when other people do it, particularly for Jamie. Irish (Gaeilge) and Scottish (Gàidhlig) are both languages I’ve wanted to learn for a long time, because my family’s fresh out of living speakers of either & I think that’s a shame, but I started with Irish and at the moment I’m still very much learning it. As different as they are, it still helps me understand parts of lyrics or texts that I come across in Gàidhlig fairly frequently, so when it comes up in a fic I get to feel like I’m being responsible and practicing, and it’s great when I can actually understand what’s being said.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m gonna go with Harry Potter even though that’s probably not a perfectly accurate answer - it’s almost certainly the first thing that has a fandom that I ever wrote for, but it was in a notebook when I was a kid and never something that I even typed on a computer, much less posted online or shared with other members of a fandom. But even then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first pre-existing fictional universe I ever set an original story in, because I did that a lot when I was a kid, it’s just hard to remember those clearly or on any kind of timeline.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I’m very partial to Across the Gap, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that ranked first on the kudos thing above - but I’ve also got a soft spot for So Merrily We’ll Sing. It’s so self-indulgent it feels silly saying ‘it was so easy to write!’ but I guess having a fic that’s already just 100% headcaonons and fluff tied together by a song you really love does prevent it from being much of a labor (I also managed to refrain from making that one unnecessarily long, so that’s another win there)

tagging @terryfphanatics and anyone else who wants to do it - sorry I’m bad at remembering whose tumblr goes with whose Ao3 account, but I really would be interested to read this if anyone else feels like answering them!

[system-architect]

i can’t rememb if i already sent an ask but if not could u mayhaps do peej

u did send an ask which i will get to in a second but i am gonna happily do pj anyway!!

Personal

1)      Age? he’s 24 and a big shit who’s weirdly conscious about being 24 despite the fact that thats sTILL YOUNG so he lies and tells people he’s 21

2)      Gender? trans gay trans gay trans gay. he’s a very GnC trans guy who hasn’t transitioned too much bc he likes how he is

3)      Romantic/Sexual Orientation? gay... he’s a big gay. loves men

4)      Height? he’s 2′10″ aka min height haha pj small

5)      Race? asura and like metaphorically a fckn demon

6)      What do they look like? (i.e, hair color, eye color, etc). like a bush baby.......... uhhh he’s a very small lithe asura with wild ass fckn scene tier spiked up hair and his eyes are Indeed freakishly huge and he’s got sort of piebald esque markings and he’s also got spots of black pigment on his tongue and gums like some dogs do! i’m just gonna link art again

7)      Any disabilities? tbh he might have occasional breathing issues from his eye size and the constant vaping. also.. Some Stuff Happens During PoF but its not anything conventional that you might be expecting...

8)      Is there a meaning to their name? nope OOPS that one asura name generator spat it out at me actually! it stuck and i thought it was a weirdly funny name for an asura while also sounding p decent

9)      What makes them, them? he’s this image:

10)   What do they want to be when they grow up/what do they want to do with their lives? tbh his life is very stagnated atm and he’s not sure what he wants. to keep surviving, he guesses

Family

11)   Do they have parents? What are they like and how do they act with their child(ren)? he’s an orphan! his parents are unknown... he was raised in an orphanage by this very prim and proper asuran lady who was very secretly kind of a party gal on the side

12)   Do they have siblings? How do they interact with them? again, orphan, so family questions are hard to answer cus he doesn’t know anything about em

13)   Extended family? Do they see them often?

14)   Do they like where they live? (Is it a safe place?) he has A Flat up inbetween arkentia valley and magus valley in rata sum (i pretend there’s more out there than there actually is jhkfgd) which is also near where the glitch is located! it is fairly safe and he is quite fond of it, although he’s at the club most of the time

15)   Where do they live? Are they wealthy? Poor? Middle-Class? i just kinda answered this but he has Money honestly....... running a luxury nightclub that’s a front for your shady information trading business will do that for ya huh

16)   Do they have a lot of expectations/pressure on them from family to do great? the orphanage owner wanted all her little adoptee children to be Starlets and tried to teach them proper etiquette and get them into refined fields........... pj is successful but in the most opposite way from this possible

17)   Do they have pets? nope and thats probably for the better

18)   Who do they look up to the most/are the closest to in their family?

19)   This there anything special about their family?

20)   Do they wish they lived in a different family/household? he’s constantly torn about like... the concept of having blood relatives out there [hopefully]........ he’s not sure if he wants to know about them or not, if he would’ve rather been raised by them or not. it’s alluring but scary

Friends

21)   Best Friend(s)? his best friend is Kinda his ‘secretary’, kessa, who is a whispers agent plant in his club that helps him run the place in exchange for siphoning information from it. PJ is aware she’s whispers and kessa is aware he’s aware she’s whispers and they have a tentative and tense but friendly??? bond. it’s like, thin ice all the time but they’re also quite close. both her and pj are savvy and sort of take turns greasing the wheels of their various dealings; i think kessa is a bit bolder and craftier than pj and more organized oops. as far as kessa as a person, she’s a tall butch with cherry red dyed hair and she goes by the nickname ‘lucky’ due to the shamrock shaped marking over her right eye. she prefers masc looking clothing and she has a suave flirty personality with a quick wit and a snarky teasing sense of humor

22)   Who was their first friend? hgjkfdgh he’s never had many friends unfortunately. he tends to drive people away...

23)   What is their friend group like? a lot of people hang around him for general exterior motives like money and status.. not many people genuinely like him

24)   Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them? like everyone................... ‘i need you but i dont like you’ etc

25)   Do they consider any of their friends to be like siblings?

26)   Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one? definitely a lot. he’s a very abrasive person who can get fussy and picky and two-faced

27)   Do they have a crush on any of their friends? alas yeah half of pjs ‘friends’ are people he wants to smooch but its in a very vapid fashion.... even w/ deeper crushes pj isnt gonna be gettin any genuine love

28)   Do they share classes with good friends?

29)   Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on? he might drunk cry to viel or kessa and i dont think either would know what to do about it

30)   What would this person do without their friends in their lives? despite having shallow ‘friendships’ a lot of his self esteem revolves around popularity and being well-liked so he’d be... super crushed

School

31)   What grade are they in? If they aren’t in school, how come? he got like 30% of the way thru statics courses for political science and dropped out because he hated school... he was naturally savvy and talented with debate and an excellent candidate for a worthless weasel-y politician who can screw anyone over within a sentence but he just hated the whole school system and didn’t fit with it and getting into arcane politics wasn’t something he really enjoyed, it was all super backstabby but simultaneously Goody Two Shoes and he haaated it

32)   Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one? he probably butted heads with all of them and hated being told what to do

33)   Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot? definitely goofed off and didn’t care. he was good at stuff when he was asked to actually do stuff so why bother paying attention to boring stuff he already knows?

34)   Are/Where they a good student grade wise? stellar marks on very specific fields and tests and debates where the school system actually lined up with his talents but terrible marks otherwise

35)   Do/Did they need extra help? he was probably arbitrarily assigned a tutor due to his low marks but was uninterested in actually being helped and was a catty piece of shit the whole time

36)   What is/was their school like?

37)   Do/Did they have bullies in school? he’s a terrible worthless rat trash man and there was probably gossip that flew around about him but he loved hunting it down and intimidating the daylights out of the people who started it. even as a child he was a notorious drama monger and tattletale so it’s kinda in his nature. pj is a literally terrible person i’m so sorry to anyone who likes him for w/e reason

38)   Have they ever gotten into a fight at school? probably not many physical ones altho he’s def been punched a few times. most of his fights were probably weird high strung drama that contained a lot of passive aggression and counter-gossip and maybe some good ol fashioned blackmail

39)   Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school? hard to categorize bc he’s a walking embarrassment

40)   How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back? he dropped out and has literally 0% intentions of going back ever. and not as a char development thing either-- he’s never going to want to go back even if he improves as a person. it’s not his thing

Other

41)   Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced? pj pretends he’s shallow and only wants A Good Time but a bit more under the surface he’s absolutely desperate for more genuine bonds and wants Love And Affection and pretends ppl love him when they’re makin out idk. he’s a sad sad man

42)   What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret? he’s a boring egg who should probably pick up a hobby

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be? what he’ll say he wants is like, more money/successful business but what he Needs is a kick in the ass to work on improving himself and to earn some friends who genuinely like him and to find a Meaning for himself

44)   Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one? shady information traderrrr he deals in secrets and identities of the asuran underworld

45)   Do they use social media? probably uses asuran instagram and snapchat

46)   Have they ever been in the hospital? probably for some very dumb injuries tbh

47)   Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see? again weird Q in context of gw2 but superstitions... he’ll claim he’s logical but he’s prone to suggestion wrt this stuff and a huge chicken

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset? cry on bathroom floor with bottle of wine

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey? i think he avoids thinking about this too in depth bc he knows he’s a bad person haha..... he’s a bit messed up atm because this doesn’t motivate him to improve despite knowing it. he’s just kinda... yeah im awful so what if you cant take the heat then get out of the kitchen

50)   Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc) yeah he’s a bit representative of the time period of my life where i was overfocused on Being Hurt and wallowed a lot in my trauma and i felt i was justified in being a pretty nasty person for whatever plethora of reasons, but i was stagnating and it was all hurting me really badly even if i wasn’t ready to accept that it was hurting me. i felt a huge sense of impending doom and not knowing what to do with my life or if i’d ever get better...

[violetemerald]

List of queerplatonic level relationships people can choose from for my two birthday collabs this year:

For my birthday I usually host either 1 or 2 fanvideo collabs. This year is the first year that I’m actually happily in a queerplatonic partnership myself while my birthday has come around. The first birthday after I figured out I was asexual I hosted family&friendships, platonic relationships, birthday collabs. Then I hosted multi-characters, then a more typical multi-couples one for romantic & sexual ships. This year, as I turn 27 years old, I’m excited to finally host two collabs where I focus on as many queerplatonic level relationships as possible.

There are many ways to define queerplatonic, but the “queer” in the word refers not to the people in the relationship, but rather to the relationship itself - queering the norms of what non-romantic relationships can be.

Not all queerplatonic relationships are alike. My queerplatonic partner & I feel the same amount of attraction toward one another as family members or close friends might feel, which is absolutely nothing sexual or romantic. We also don’t cuddle or hold hands or touch much at all, nothing like that. We’re queerplatonic because we, by nature of both being aromantic-spectrum and asexual-spectrum, aren’t dating or looking for anyone else to fill a lot of roles in our lives, and end up as each other’s de-facto plus one’s to events. We are adults with a level of “being best friends” that most adults we know don’t have. We also have a level of commitment to one another that we’ve agreed upon, where we intend to one day build a life together that involves probably foster parenting and later adopting children, and for now includes the idea that we are officially “together”, that we might meet each other’s families and be each other’s “most significant person” in life, etc. You basically feel like family, like an old married couple where the passion is gone but the deep love and affection is still there except you never had any of the passion in the first place.

For me, when watching TV shows, it’s much harder for high school based characters to feel queerplatonic to me. To feel queerplatonic to me, really significant behaviors like living together, deciding to open a business together, using words like “Family” or “brother” rather than friend because they feel so bonded, using words like “love” despite being friends, touching each other so much that half of fandom is shipping them, or going through tragedies together can all help make their friendship feel like it is a stronger type of friendship. Queerplatonic relationships ARE friendships, in my opinion, they aren’t something different, just a different TYPE of friendship. An intense one that other people won’t understand, or might be likely to mistake as romantic.

Here is a nice article I found on queerplatonic relationships:

http://www.therivetermagazine.com/queering-the-relationship/

  It explains it pretty well.

Let me know if you think I’ve forgotten a queerplatonic level pairing from a series or even just film that you know I like:

Now for all 33 of the pairings below, I want to explain why I consider them queerplatonic. A few of these I can ship romantically as well but I especially love categorizing them as queerplatonic, because queerplatonic representation FTW!

1. Cory & Shawn (Boy Meets World/Girl Meets World) - I wouldn’t have thought to include these two, but that article cites them, and I couldn’t resist. I fell so hard for Shawn Hunter and his angst filled life and related to too much of it when I watched the entire original series in record time via ABC Family reruns as a young teenager, but I also fell for the deep Cory/Shawn friendship, which was stronger than their romantic relationships ever were, and which never grew weaker as they became adults. I especially like what I’ve heard about Girl Meets World’s portrayal, even though I’ve never seen the series. I feel their friendship is respected for the queerplatonic level bond it is.

2. Sara & Oliver (Arrow & also DC’s Legends of Tomorrow) - for these two, I count them as queerplatonic because that’s the real way I ship them. I don’t actually think they are the best romantic pairing. I think the one-sided romantic attraction from Sara toward Oliver faded with time but instead these two developed a deep platonic bond over sharing experiences of going through hell on Lian-Yu (the island) and over both being vigilante superheroes later on. Sex doesn’t equal romance and this relationship feels best categorized to me as queerplatonic. They aren’t “just” typical friends for an array of reasons, but they also aren’t a simple romantic ship.

3. John & Sherlock (Sherlock, BBC) - for Sherlock/John… quite frankly, they may be THE SINLGE MOST OBVIOUS EXAMPLE of a queerplatonic life partnership to me because Sherlock actually seems completely aromantic asexual to me, at least in the same way I am aro ace - read this to get where those of us who interpret him this way are coming from: http://anagnori.tumblr.com/post/70661417641/sherlock-holmes-as-an-asexual-character and John actually seems straight in my opinion, yet Sherlock is somehow the most important person to John, more so than any of the women he’s attracted to in sexual and/or romantic ways. Even if John can be argued to be bi, please don’t take ace Sherlock from me, he is so ace… XD That being said, although I don’t see it, even if Sherlock was gay, then maybe John is straight and they still have incompatible orientations yet somehow have this amazing bond and that is what… I think of when I think of queerplatonic. I actually just thought of John being homoromantic&heterosexual as a possibility, meaning he can’t fall in love with women even though that’s the only gender he’s sexually attracted to, but he can fall in a non-sexual kind of love with Sherlock… :P https://asexualcensus.wordpress.com/2014/11/17/cross-orientations-among-non-aces/ So many possibile reasons why they are the way they are, but regardless, because their friendship is the most intense possible friendship possible, they count as queerplatonic.

4. House & Wilson (House M.D.) - House is obviously much more heterosexual than BBC’s Sherlock character but House & Wilson were based on the original Holmes and Watson in many ways, and their relationship with each other is one of the ways you can see that inspiration. They love each other so much. Wilson tells House in the final season that he needs him to tell him he loves him, actually using that word. They live together at times, etc etc. But it doesn’t mean they actually have any sexual attraction toward one another. (Nor romantic attraction, necessarily, albeit that is more complicated). This may be biphobic writing/queerbaiting OR it might be a reflection of a real queerplatonic kind of bond that could be possible between straight men… and I personally prefer to think of it as the latter.

5. Shawn & Gus (Psych) - there is so much that’s kinda obvious with this one. They are beyond just best friends. They are the emotional core of each other’s lives, they chose to build their lives together as (business) “partners”, and they are exactly what queerplatonic partners mean to me in many ways, because however much Shawn loved Juliet O’Hara, he always loved Gus at least equally, if not more. Gus was his chosen family for his entire life. For ages Gus was literally the only person in on a secret, other than the father who built him to have this superpower. There are touching emotional moments between them and it wouldn’t be hard to vid them in these collabs. 6. JD & Turk (Scrubs) - it’s just guy love between two (completely heterosexual) guys, right? That’s how THEIR SONG goes in the musical ep? XD There’s nothing gay about it in their eyes, and therefore… they are the epitome of queerplatonic. The beginning of this following thread actually has some people discussing JD/Turk as queerplatonic… http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/118560-list-of-queerplatonic-relationships-in-showsbookscelebrities/

7. Chandler & Joey - in a similar vein, these two were the one friendship on all of Friends that was “Weirdly close” (see the thread above on asexuality.org), that had lots of gay innuendo and stuff… basically they weren’t typical friends, they were hyper close friends who lived together, just the two of them, for pretty much the majority of a decade as adults with no other significant romances in their lives most of that time, and at the end of the series Joey still had no one but his friends and felt closest to Chandler in a very queerplatonic kind of way even if Chandler did have Monica. A deep love that was truly not romantic nor sexual.

8. Morgan & Reid (Criminal Minds) - many people ship these two, because their friendship got so close, because they touch each other a lot, etc. Their final scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST8CdeMRhEw includes actual I love yous, naming a child after the other, references to being a “brother” because of how close they feel… and tears over just the simple separation of not working together anymore. They have so many amazing moments throughout the series that I can find myself shipping them too, but mainly I prefer to ship them in a queerplatonic way, partially because I see too much of my aromantic ace tendencies in Reid: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7566307/chapters/17212351 and idk. They are not queerplatonic “partners” to me, they just have a queerplatonic level of feelings for one another. I believe Garcia/Morgan should also count as queerplatonic on this show. It’s fine for Morgan to have two queerplatonic bonds. She felt sexual attraction toward him but they both felt only platonic love. I just prefer Morgan/Reid much more than Morgan/Garcia, and the sexual innuendo in Morcia tends to make me uncomfortable as a sex-averse ace perhaps, and idk, I just don’t want Morgan/Garcia in my collab. But Morgan/Reid mean the world to me, ESPECIALLY platonically. I actually have a list with timecodes of many of Morgan & Reid’s moments in the first 7 or so seasons, if you want it.

9. Emily & JJ (Criminal Minds) - another queerplatonic bond on Criminal Minds, and it’s rare for me to find two women who I can think of as queerplatonic. I also definitely can ship them, see both women as queer enough for an actual romantic/sexual relationship between them to have potential, but as the show stands, they could certainly both be straight. That’s the narrative the show pushes. And yet their bond is particularly deep due to especially the circumstances of being each other’s only contact at times while on classified missions/undercover, and they are overly touchy even very early on. I actually have a list with timecodes of many of Emily & JJ’s moments in the first 6 or so seasons they share, if you want it. Possibly some from the new season too.

10. Mozzie & Neal (White Collar) - I actually think these two are more queerplatonic partners than Neal/Peter. Neal/Peter are the obvious heart of the show but Mozzie is not “just” a best friend. Neal is Mozzie’s entire life, so much so that when Peter becomes so important to Neal, Peter  (a suit type of person Mozzie is frightened by) becomes important to Mozzie too. Neal and Mozzie are fugitives TOGETHER, basically build their lives together, and it causes MAJOR PROBLEMS for their friendship when Mozzie wants to leave New York but Neal doesn’t. Mozzie & Neal are the ultimate partners in crime, and basically seem like they could be roommates to a casual viewer of the show, even though they don’t actually live together, because Mozzie is over Neal’s apartment SO OFTEN. When Mozzie is hurt, Neal cries, and vice versa. They are adults, and Mozzie never has a significant romance that comes close to paralleling his feelings for Neal.

11. Neal & Peter (White Collar) - these two have such a deep bond that fuels the show, but I don’t see them as having romantic nor sexual feelings at all for one another. They are very close both outside and at work, to the point of Peter naming his child after Neal. They spend so much time together and their lives revolve around one another, especially Peter’s around Neal, even when they don’t see each other for long stretches of time. They both admire each other and it’s just not a typical friendship, yet it is purely platonic. Neal can have two queerplatonic relationships in his life, and he does.

12. Foss & Kyle (Kyle XY) - this relationship could barely be called a friendship, and that is why it feels queerplatonic to me. It’s kind of like they skipped straight to found family or skipped straight to platonic love. There is an age difference which adds to how atypical it is to be that devoted to one another.  Kyle has close friendships with people like Declan. But with Foss, his relationship is more complicated. Tom Foss would do literally anything for Kyle and… some people do ship these two because of how intense their platonic love is. But it is just platonic, don’t try to tell me it’s anything different.

13. Nikita & Alex (Nikita) - there aren’t enough bonds like this between women on television, which is what makes this pairing so special. Despite each having some really passionate romantic entanglements, these two have such a significant place in each other’s lives, so much so that Nikita/Michael scenes often include lots of talk of Alex and stuff. They are basically self-explanatory in my mind so if you need more justification, let me know.

14. Hiro & Ando (Heroes) - this show mainly has really deep family bonds, but Hiro/Ando break that mold by being a ridiculously deep friendship bond, especially circa seasons 3 & 4. Ando is betrayed in season 3 to learn Hiro didn’t tell him about a significant emotional event in his life, and Hiro says “don’t cry because I’ll cry”, like this is 3x20… there’s so much there to unpack about how much they care for one another. Even in season 2 though, Hiro is far back in the past and hides a secret note for Ando. They are on each other’s minds whenever they are apart, they are really platonic life partners in so many ways, traveling a foreign country together, presumably living together for a long time as adults, etc.

15. Alec & Kiera (Continuum) - they are queerplatonic by nature of being in a sci-fi show’s extremely atypical premise - no other relationship ever is like theirs. The main reasons they tic queerplatonic boxes for me are a) Alec is Kiera’s ONLY confidant who knows the truth of her life other than the people who want to kill her for a while. Alec’s life starts to revolve around her in a similar way and he can’t tell anyone else in his life anything about her. b) age differences make shipping them more than skeevy, because he’s either so much older than her or so much younger than her. But having platonic relationships at any age works… C) Alec is THE PERSON who shaped Kiera’s entire future by sending her to the past and he will always be that significant mark on her life. d) Alec/Kiera have to learn to forgive each other and are at the emotional core of the entire series, share many really significant hugs and moments and basically they are maybe not queerplatonic “partners” in a typical sense, but they are in some kind of queerplatonic relationship. I’d argue that Carlos/Kiera might be queerplatonic too, but I feel more shippy things for them personally so I’m leaving them out of my collab.

16. Dr. Tom & Erica (Being Erica) - call them father/daughter ish if you want, but some people think they’re more husband/wife ish (like the commenter on my video for them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_F3MwwEqHo ), and isn’t that the epitome of what queerplatonic is, can’t tell if they seem more like family or like a romance? Tom has an unhealthily close relationship with her, since she’s just one of his patients. Erica feels a deep love for Tom. They know each other particularly intimately because of the nature of the magic on this series. They are not what people would ever just call “best friends” despite that literally being what they are to each other, because best friends has a certain connotation and they are barely even “Friends”. They are people who share a deep kind of platonic relationship, and friendship isn’t really the best word to describe it.

17. Meredith & Cristina (Grey’s Anatomy) - because “you’re my person” even after marriages and stuff. Originally “You’re my person” was about being the one person Cristina confided in about her pregnancy and abortion because she needed a significant friend/family member/romantic partner to drive her home (if that had worked out and the appointment had been needed), and that is a very typical kind of practical commitment queerplatonic partners could make in each other’s lives. Feeling not just happy for the person if they move away for a job but also heartbroken like it’s a breakup is typical of queerplatonic level friendships, too…

18. Caitlin & Cisco (The Flash) - I don’t quite know how to explain why they seem so queerplatonic to me but I really love them as an example of queerplatonic bonding. They care so much about each other, they’re like the first thing each other thinks about, they spend every waking moment together, they confide in each other first, they knew each other before the show when no one else did, they are a ying and yang kind of deal when they are Killer Frost and Vibe, they just are such a TEAM in everything in life. They are adults, so they don’t seem like they’re just super close because they’re in the same high school. It seems like a life thing where even if a romantic partner became a part of their lives, this friendship would still probably be a slightly MORE significant relationship in their life.

19. Scott & Stiles (Teen Wolf) - this one I wasn’t so sure about, but the intensity of what they’ve each been through together has made their bond stronger than any other relationship on the show, probably. They have no secrets, and Stiles literally can’t bear the thought at the beginning of season 5 or whenever it was of Scott not being his best friend for life. Stiles uses the word “brother” because friend doesn’t describe it well enough. That kind of thing.

20. Rachel & Kurt (Glee) - I’m also not so sure about this one, but Rachel ultimately being a surrogate who carries Kurt’s child seals the deal for me on this, as well as the way Kurt/Rachel both are the potentially most affected by Finn’s death (however I may be biased a bit by fanfiction and fanon version of their lives…). They are best friends in a way that seems much closer than some of the other roommates and close friends, idk.

21. Maxine & Sean (Judging Amy) - I feel a lot of things about their friendship but don’t ship them in the slightest nor think they are “just” close friends. The age difference is part of it, and the unconventional nature of how close they managed to get despite “only” being coworkers. Watch the first four clips that come up on YouTube for them to get the gist of their relationship. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=sean+maxine They might fight at times but when times get hard, they share hugs and forehead kisses and platonic physical touch and well, especially Sean toward Maxine seems very queerplatonic. She’s not even “like a mother” to him, she’s just a friend he cares for deeply, partially by nature of the TV show revolving around her life and not his, where we see no other aspect of Sean’s life at all except his feelings for her.

22. Jesse & Walter (Breaking Bad) - by nature of their criminal lives, you may notice a theme here with a few criminal partners, but I think they become each other’s whole worlds, for better or worse. It’s not romantic by any means. But it is a partnership and a deep kind of psuedo-familial love that develops.

23. Angus & Mario (Code Black) - ah I ship them in a pretty slashy way, but I’m too sex-averse and even kissing averse to really be rooting for that to actually happen. I can’t decide what I feel. They just have such an amazing friendship in such a high stakes kind of show that it makes the level of friendship feel like it shoots up to queerplatonic.

24. Emily/Aria/Hanna/Spencer (Pretty Little Liars), just the four of them, no Alison, no boys, that core group seems like queerplatonic level friendship to me because of what they’ve been through. Try to vid voiceovers about how what they’ve been through has bonded them, try to vid moments where no other characters are on screen and at least a few group moments, what I love about this is it’s not a queerplatonic duo/partnership but rather a queerplatonic level group friendship of 4. There is no “just” friends about these girls, especially given the time jump into the future in the most recent two half seasons.

25. Chloe & Clark (Smallville) - They may have been romantic for about 1 to 2 episodes, and Chloe had one-sided romance feelings for seasons 1-5, but this friendship lasted 10 seasons and even when she had romantic feelings, the relationship remained non romantic. In fact, that can be one thing I think that makes a friendship queerplatonic. The fact that one person feels “more than” friendship, romantic feelings, but the friendship is still “just” a friendship. The bond becomes more complicated and intense. Especially for a while, Chloe knowing Clark’s secret became a huge part of why they weren’t “just” friends.

26. Dwight & Michael (The Office) - basically, these two didn’t have other people they were as close to, for much of the show. Dwight might be borderline aromantic because he tends to act like friendships more important to him, desire how much he cares for Angela too. Michael loves everyone his, platonic or not, so hard. So they become, kind of by default, queerplatonic level kind of friends at first and then even after they have romantic partners it doesn’t fade. Dwight prided himself on being given a special status by Michael (in the office, but still), and they have some emotionally touching scenes.

27. Marcel & Davina (The Originals) - These two aren’t family but sort of serve that role in each other’s lives, which is basically the only reason I’m counting them as queerplatonic. They love each other in a way that is nonromantic and nonsexual and also not typical of what you’d normally see in a friendship.

28. Casey & Ashleigh (Greek) - I wasn’t sure if I should do any relationship from Greek, and if so who to do, but I think these two are nice to consider including because there aren’t enough girls who feel queerplatonic on TV but these two are super-best-friends to a degree that could be queerplatonic, mainly because they could not be any closer as friends? Like idk, especially at the end of the series, they have a lot of feelings about one another…

29. Leonard Snart & Mick Rory (The Flash & DC’s Legends of Tomorrow) - ah, Captain Cold & Heatwave, totally queerplatonic partners. Snart’s death hurts the most because that pairing can’t be broken up! What are they doing!! I mean I care about them ruining Sara/Leonard as a ship too but I care more about this friendship between Mick & Leonard. I care about how much they care about each other and how much they are always on the same team. The third “partners in crime” on this list.

30. Michael & Brian (Queer as Folk) - see what I said about Chloe/Clark, basically one-sided feelings and maybe a couple kisses in their lives but never really being anything other than friends makes their friendship atypical, queerplatonic because of all it involves. They weren’t “just” friends, they were in many ways the main rock in each other’s lives.

31. Karma & Amy (Faking It) - I never saw the final season of this show, but hopefully eventually. Basically, I heard they don’t end up together and essentially Karma never returns Amy’s feelings enough, so… while I can ship them romantically, I can also just see them as a queerplatonic relationship for the reasons described directly above in Michael/Brian (and in Clark/Chloe, and Sara/Oliver). Amy learns to suppress her sexual and romantic feelings for her friend in favor of preserving the deep friendship bond. They are atypically close as friends.

32. Arthur & Merlin (Merlin, BBC) - I’ve never seen the show but I plan to watch it eventually and already know they count as queerplatonic in my eyes. The creator said they are a love story as do the actors but the guys never kiss and a lot of people interpret it as gay but thwarted by network television, but from the fanvideo things I’ve seen… I prefer to think of them as Sherlock/John level queerplatonic.

33. Lux & Tasha (Life Unexpected) - they didn’t have anyone else growing up, no parents or family at all, so they became way more than friends and as close as sisters in some ways, and their friendship seems queerplatonic to me, despite their young age. They would risk so much for the other. They need each other in their lives.

[esteliensmainblog]

childhood embarrassing moments and other questionnaires

25. What was the one embarrassing moment in your school life that you won’t forget ?

I’ll probably forget all of these eventually, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten tons already, but I do have some stories.

Like that time the lights weren’t working in the girls’ restroom and all we had (pre- cell phones) was my toy unicorn whose pink forehead gem was a button you could push and it would light up and she’d say things like, “You’re my best friend. I’ll take you anywhere.”  But you couldn’t really use the horse and do your business at the same time, so we had to work together.  It sucked. (Side note: I want to figure out what that horse was called... message me if you know?)

One time in middle school, I had an issue with my shorts.  I was always careful to stay within the dress code, but one day, a male teacher took me aside during class and told me that my shorts were showing “something we don’t want to see.”  I still don’t know what it was.

Once in elementary school, we had a substitute teacher who was seriously ancient and incapable of doing her job.  Apparently my bathroom stall door hadn’t locked properly, because she walked in on me.

I got my first period in fourth grade.  Thick stretch pants in the worst shade of purple.  I still can’t stand that color.  We had handbell practice that day.  It was horrifying.

In high school, I was still working on the whole “don’t just say whatever you’re thinking” thing.  The guy behind me put his feet up on the sides of my desk.  I asked him to put them down, because they smelled terrible.  He left the room, ticked off, and the teacher had a talk with me.  I wasn’t the type to accidentally be mean to someone, so I was kind of mortified and had to run and apologize.  Besides that, I was new at the school (compared to most of the class), so I hadn’t really been accepted yet.

At the same school, I once drew a picture of one of the older students, just to practice drawing, and because I had a photo to work from because my dad took pictures at the school play.  I went to tell her I’d drawn a picture of her, and she gave me this look of disgust and said something that made it sound like she thought it was super creepy and gross that I’d do that.  It was an ”I’m just gonna melt into the floor now bye" moment.

Majoring in a foreign language means making some embarrassing mistakes.  The worst of mine was in this class where we had to write a really serious essay.  I don’t know what the prompt was, but most of us wrote about hugely important and serious things we were going through (like one girl wrote about her far-too-much-older boyfriend).  Usually, if someone made a funny mistake, a different professor would just point it out in writing or quietly, but this teacher wasn’t afraid to embarrass students in front of the class.  My dictionary fail was, in this case, too problematic to even say in front of the class (and I was the prof’s TA so she was less savage with me), so she called me into her office.  What I meant to say was that someone (a respected mentor) kept saying he/she would do something, but then would never follow through.  The verb I found for “follow through” meant in a sexual way.

On a much lighter note, in early elementary school, the mean girls started a rumor that they’d seen me kissing my crush under the desks.

But more embarrassingly, to get back at one of those bullies (not for that specific incident), I once prank called her late at night.  Again, nobody had cell phones at the time, so it was the landline.  I didn’t know about *69.  Her mom called back.

One time in middle school, I got my period and wasn’t prepared, so two girls went with me to the office to ask for a pad.  (They weren’t friends of mine, and had been jerks to me and my friends for years.  I’m guessing they tagged along because they were curious or amused?)  The lady working there was gigantic.  She gave me what is, to this day, the largest pad I have ever seen in my life. We’re talking the length and width of at least four normal pads combined.  And those girls walked all the way back to the restroom with me where I had to try to put it on.

50 questions you’ve never been asked tag

1. What’s your favorite candle scent? Cinnamon, but it has to be the artificial cinnamon smell and it has to be strong.  I want candles that smell like Red Hots or those pinecones they put in the entrance of Michael’s and Giant Eagle every Christmas.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister? None of them.

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother? None of them. 

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? Rather not think about it.

5. Do you know a hoarder? Unfortunately.

6. Can you do a split? Nope.

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? Idk, some normal age.

8. How many oceans have you swam in? One

9. How many countries have you been to? One besides where I’m from

10. Is anyone in your family in the army? Yes

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one? That’s a secret

12. What would you name your son if you had one? “

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test? Probably F.  Mostly got A’s but who knows.

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child? There were so many.  As Told By Ginger stands out, though.  And basically every cartoon.

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight? Sure.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series? Harry Potter, and I’m working on the Hunger Games.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent? I’m fine with how I talk.  British is weird and neat too.

18. Did your mother go to college? Nope

19. Are your grandparents still married? Only one alive

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons? No

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is? Not a clue.  Never heard of dat boi.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to? The person who wrote this quiz must be ten.  I can’t remember these things.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in? Already fluent in French.  Would like to learn basically any other language.  Japanese or Korean would be cool.  I’m also a fan of made-up languages.  I really like Trigedasleng from The 100, since it’s like a fun creole of English.

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray? Both.  Yup.

25. Is your father bald? No

26. Do you know triplets? No

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? Never seen either

28. Have you ever had Indian food? Weirdly, only stuff I’ve cooked, so it doesn’t count.

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant? It’s this Japanese place that’s soooo good.

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden? I aint never heard a’ no olives in the .. gardens.. Yes.  Obviously, yes.

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)? No.  Paying to shop is dumb.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender? Dunno

33. If you have a nickname, what is it? Anyone reading this either already knows or doesn’t need to know

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world? I’m lucky enough to have a few.  Two best friends, two nephews, a big family..

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs? Suburbs

36. Can you whistle? No

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight? No

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning? Yes

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily? Yes

40. What medical conditions do you have? Dude

41. How many times have you been to the hospital? Umm.  Once to be born, probably once when I broke my arm, once a few days after a bike accident..  That might be all.

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo? Seriously, you are ten.

43. Where do you buy your jeans? Thrift stores

44. What’s the last compliment you got? It was from an online quiz. I’m in extreme summer introvert mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? Yes. Thanks, meds.

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy? Plain black is good, but I grew up on apricot tea (black with a slight apricot flavor), so that’s always been my favorite.  They’d put it in my sippy cup.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own? I don’t want to move, let alone go count my shoes.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice? Christianity

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real? Idk, I don’t remember ever believing he was real?

50. Why do you have a youtube? What does this sentence mean?

Some random questions :P

1. What’s your height ? Short

2. Which season is your favorite ? Spring and fall

3. Writing, art or chatting ? All of the above

4. Pokemon, long live, Digimon, YoKai watch, Barbie, Doraemon ? That second one is a song, though, right?  Whatever.  Digimon and Pokemon, in that order.

5. Burgers or pizza ? Pizza, unless the burgers have roasted onions and peppers, in which case, burgers.

6. What’s your sexual orientation ?

7. If you could change 3 things in the world, what could they be ? Everybody everywhere would get free health care, somehow the racists etc. learn and we all treat each other like we’re on the same team, everybody everywhere has the opportunity to make enough money to live on.

8. Any fictional character that you will love to cosplay ? It might be fun to dress as Asuna?  But because of the creepy stuff in the second part of the show, I’m not going to do that.

9. Do you sleep with any stuff toy by your side ? No

10. Do you live alone ?

11. Describe the surroundings around your home.

12. What will be your dream profession ? Getting to come up with ideas and not having to follow through with making them happen - somebody else does that part.  Also playing video games most of the time.

13. Which vegetable you HATE the most ? I don’t hate any veggie I’ve tried.

14. Which vegetable you LOVE the most ? Idk, lots of them are good.  Recently learned how to roast sweet potatoes and woah.

15. Ever eaten bitter gourd ? No

16. Strawberries or blackberries ? Strawberries

17. Number of friends on tumblr. Three, off the top of my head.. idk

18. What’s is the one thing that you want to change in yourself ? I need to figure out how to keep up with dishes, and generally have better motivation.  My variety of depression keeps the motivation preeeetty low, even with meds.

19. Ever went underwaters ? Dude

20. Mom or dad ? With whom you’re much bonded to ? You just forgot how to speak English, but okay.  Dad.

21. Number and age of siblings ? One sister.  Very older.

22. Ever met any actor or actress in real ? No, but I heard Billy Boyd sing at an orchestra or something.  Freaking amazing.

23. Who you want to meet NOW ? It’s after midnight, so. nah.

24. What are your casual wears ? My sister got me this incredible dress-like thing that might be technically a swimsuit coverup.  It’s cute and sleeveless and has a hood and it’s so comfy.

25. (moved to top)

26. Are you curious about certain anons ? Huh?

27. What’s the one thing that you’ll always regret for ? Probably some of my purchases.  Nothing big, but I just look at things and think, if I hadn’t bought that, I could have spent the money on video games or food.

28. When you’re excited, which word you speak out mostly ? Idk? “Oh my gosh”?

29. Had crush on any of your friends in school life? Is he/she still your crush ? Not really and no

30. Do you celebrate Halloween ? Which costume did you wore last time ? I don’t “celebrate” what it’s about, but dressing up in costumes is super fun.  The last couple Halloweens I haven’t dressed up, but I know I’ve been Lucille Ball and Anna (from Frozen) a few times.

31. What’s your lucky number and lucky color ? ? I like purple.

32. What never bores you ? Technically, nothing.  But I love video games and dinosaurs and languages.

33. What you hate the most ? I’m suuuuper sensitive, so lots of sensory things like sounds and flashing lights and when people bump into me and bad smells.  Also washing dishes.  Because it’s way too sensory and all the feels are unpleasant (bad smells, dirty hands, unexpected loud noises, the stress of feeling like I can’t keep up, etc.).

34. Do you believe in ghosts and spirits ? Want to meet one ? No

35. What’s a common name that you’re often called from ? From?

36. In your eyes, who’s the most popular blog irrespective of the number of followers it has ? I probably don’t follow them.  The more popular ones I follow are Dan and Phil, Seth Everman, shower thoughts...

37. Do you know languages other than English ? French, and teeny bits of Japanese, Elvish, and Trigedasleng.  Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.

38. What’s the thing you’ll always cherish ? The mems Also the memes

39. Describe your personality in 5 words. Definitely too tired for this

40. Your Myers Briggs personality type ? INFP

41. Introverted, ambiverted or extroverted ? Very introverted in all situations

42. Are you left-handed, ambidextrous or right-handed ? Right

43. Do you use alarm clock to wake yourself up ? Phone

44. Read newspapers, magazines ? Not really

45. Ask any question… Why?

~ This or that

🌹 - loyal / 💔 - heartbreaker 🎉 - social / 💤 - antisocial 🍎-feminine / 🍏-masculine / 🍐-androgynous ⭐️ - night owl / 🐦 - early bird (permanently exhausted pigeon) 🐶 - dog person / 🐱 - cat person 😎 - sunny days / 💧- rainy days ✨ - stargazing / ☁️ - butt watching (CLOUD TO BUTT CHROME EXTENSION DOES IT AGAIN!) 🍉 - healthy food / 🍔 - comfort food 🎨 - artistic / ✏️ - logical ❤️ - affectionate / 💛 - reserved

rules: the questions deliberately come in pairs. instead of me answering all the questions, I want you to pick a pair, answer one of the questions and I’ll answer the other. (Yes, I don’t care.)

1A Are you going through a personal struggle right now? Nothing big.  It’s mostly family stuff right now. 1B Do you have someone in your life you can share your struggles with? Yes!

2A Who are you? Parasauro1ophus 2B Who do you want to be? Parasaurolophus (it was taken, but now it’s not, but tumblr won’t let me have it.)

3A What do you want to do before you die? Help people 3B What if you found out you were going to die tomorrow? I’d try to get things in order to make things as easy as possible for the people who will have to deal with my possessions. Then I’d spend the day with friends and family and not tell them, but make sure they knew how special they were.

4A What do you spend too much time doing? Video games 4B What is a new habit you want to form? Exercise

5A What is one question you would ask a fortuneteller? Is it free? 5B What do you wish you knew more about? Most things

6A What does success mean to you? Helping people and not hurting people 6B what is your next great adventure? Who knows.  Probably a new job and apartment and town.

7A What is your biggest fear? I don’t like the dark much.  Also afraid of bears and someone breaking in.   7B Where do you find peace? .... Video games.  No, seriously.  I know it’s escapism.  But take this week for example.  I was at my parents’ house for a lot of days.  I was constantly busy, between cooking for them, helping get rid of stuff, trying to keep my mom a little more emotionally stable, visiting family, visiting friends, etc.  I didn’t get any alone time.  I’m seriously introverted and am now very accustomed to living alone.  So being there, I got to the point where I just had my head down on the kitchen table and wouldn’t say or do anything.  I got home and accidentally slept til noon (which I never do), then spent three full days immersed in video games, Netflix, and YouTube.  I just have to recharge sometimes.

8A Describe a turning point in your life Halfway through my first year of teaching, I finally acknowledged that I was struggling with depression, and I told a few people I trusted.  Got to a doctor and started the process of finding meds and a therapist.  I’m doing so much better now than I had been since early high school.  It didn’t happen all at once, but that road to - I don’t want to say recovery, but at least being able to kind of function - was so worth it. 8B What are you looking forward to? Tomorrow, since it’s Saturday and I don’t have to be anywhere.  Maybe the grocery store if anything.  Maybe I’ll paint.  Or put the carpet back down.

9A What do you think about when you wake up? What I dreamed about and how crappy I feel and whether I can possibly keep sleeping a while longer. 9B Where would you like to wake up tomorrow? Here.

10A What object would you save if your house was on fire? Phone so I could call 911.  Maybe my very few belongings that are worth something, if I had time. 10B What would make you happy right now? Another ice cream sandwich would be nice.  It would also be a bad idea.

11A What are your priorities at the moment? Helping parents get rid of things.  Otherwise, serious resting before I have to get ready for the next school year. 11B What age do you wish you could permanently be? 25-26 was pretty nice.  I feel like I’ve started aging now.

12A What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home? France 12B What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Not much, since “most people” is hard to define.  But some of my favorites are pretty specific?  Like I play the ukulele, which is so mainstream, but I specifically play the baritone, which most people don’t know about.  It’s less trendy, the tuning is different from all other ukes, and it’s the biggest kind.  I love it.  I guess Runescape also counts as something most people haven’t heard of, since it’s pretty specific to people close to my age and is really old now (but still thriving!).  Fly For Fun was an all-time favorite video game too, from back in high school.  The official game (an MMORPG) is pretty dead now, and even when it was still big, nobody I knew had heard of it.

13A What songs have you completely memorized? Happy Birthday? Not many. 13B What pets did you have while you were growing up? A fish, then a dog.

14A What is a relationship deal breaker for you? There are so many.  The red flag I always say to look for first is how he treats waiters, his mom, and elderly people. 14B Would you ever take back someone who cheated? why/why not? 99% of the time, no, but situations can be complicated.

15A What was the best phase of your life? Adulthood.  20 was the most significant milestone for me.  Turning 13 or 16 or 18 or 21 didn’t matter much.  Not being a teen was the best. 15B What was the worst phase of your life? All the teenage years