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chezforshire · 5 years ago

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AU where marceline is the school's local harana for hire she writes quick songs for anyone who wants to have a song sung for anyone for whatever reason they want

It's usually a lot of love songs (she's gotten tired of this really fast) but sometimes she gets requests for songs for friends

Anyway, Lady and Jake help her out with this business by making bouquets and playing along with her respectively. And Bon is usually just someone she bounces ideas with cause Marce may know so many people, but there's still a number of rich prissy losers that Bon knows and that's usually her clients. Also, Bon loves getting to stretch her writing skills.

(Though she's also pretty tired of love songs)

Marce gets a commission one day to make a song for Bon and she just kinda. Stares at it. Her clients aren't anonymous. Well, not usually. A lot of her songs are made from shared memories and the small percent made from flowery words are usually douchelords who are too confident about their place to think they'd need anonymity in case of rejection.

So when she sees that this one didn't have a name she was a little... confused. There was also the fact that Bon is notorious for saying no to everyone who tries to ask her out. And not in a way where friends tell friends this, but more of she said no to a guy who payed the whole school to get in on his grand plan to ask her out

(Even Marce tho it wasn't for a song. It was more of he asked her to drive Bon to school at a specific time. She obviously told Bon this but they didn't have a lot of time to talk about it bc the guy texted everyone their roles literally on midnight and wired the cash after sending the message.

A little worrying how he not only got everyone's number but also everyone's bank account. She and most of her friends changed phones then bc that was creepy as all hell)

She doesn't tell Bon. Not because of some customer confidentiality or whatever but because... Well she doesn't really know. It just made her irrationally irritated and sad. Odd.

She takes far longer than usual to reply to this. She doesn't understand the hesitation. Or maybe she does? Bon has called her a bleeding heart a million times and she guesses thats the reason. She feels bad for them and doesn't want to watch another person who put in effort be rejected. Yeah that's it. She should tell him that. Maybe they were new or something. It'll be fine, plus they didn't want a full song so they werent paying much. Yeah, that sounds like a game plan.

The next day she says yes and wonders all day why she did that

For about a month she keeps this commission to herself. She spaces out more than usual during this time. Not quite disassociating, just staring into space and thinking.

Bon isn't worried bc this is usually how she gets when she's got a song in the works. She needles her about what it is and who it's for, but she generally deflects and at some point just straight up lies and says some random names.

She also learns more about her client. They're not new, they've actually known Bon for about 3 to 5 years. They're pretty close apparently and actually knows Marce personally. Theyve talked several times and have hung out here and there too. (That sure didn't make her anxiety and paranoia skyrocket)

She feels a lot of anxiety and worry and trepidation and god other irrational shit about this commission. She doesn't really tell anyone (something her therapist, or Bon more importanly Bon, would frown at) so she's just left to wallow about it on her own. She tries working on it as much as she can but it just feels... wrong somehow. She doesn't really get it but she feels like she'll lose something because of this. She doesn't get it. She knows they'll be rejected and they'll all laugh at it in the end and just.

What is it. What's wrong.

She feels a tap on her shoulder and she almost falls off her bed. Jake's apparently been trying to talk to her for a solid minute and oh jeez now he's got that Worried Big Brother look.

He peers at her and asks what's wrong and not-so-subtly threatens that he'll stay and use his Big Brother mode on her if she tries to lie to him

She just sighs heavily and curls up

"Someone commissioned a suicide mission"

Jake makes an 'o' with his mouth. Theyve always called anyone who tried to flirt with Bon a suicide mission and laughed pretty hard at it. Even Bon calls the poors souls who try suicide missions.

She uncurls a bit and faces Jake with a small smile, ready to laugh with him about it as she should. But for some reason Jake just... Looks at her with this worried look. Not his patented Im-Worried-For-You-Little-Sibling but more of one would give to a friend when they know something they don't.

Marce laughs, shakey and unsure. "What? S'not like this doesn't happen. It's Bon, ya know? The sweatheart of the school." With a mean streak that rivals the devil, she adds quietly- fondly- in her head.

Jake just nods slowly. He drags his eyes away from her and stares at her wall, eyes unfocused.

Marce starts having a bit of a panic because what is that face, why is Jake acting like this, is there somethin on her wall, wait does he know the client, is he friends with the client, is he the client, w-

Jake flops his short, chunky body on her bed and pulls her to lay down too. Roughly, might she add. And not to mention absolutely unexpected.

He's smiling again, big and all teeth. It twitches for a second when he makes eye contact but bounces back so quick she thinks she might have imagined it.

"Ha! You're gonna write for a suicide mission this is hilarious!" He makes a move to ruffle her hair and she just starts flailing to avoid this. "Man! I haven't seen one in a while so this'll be fun at least. Something else to keep us busy other than those stupid douchefucks who thinks a song is a sure fire way to get laid."

Marce is confused but doesn't question this sudden change. Plus it actually helps? She snickers -because no, she doesnt giggle she is cooler than that- at the thought of watching the client be rejected before Marce can even pull out her guitar.

"Yeah, threw me off like hell cause Bon is practically legendary but hey apparently there are still some brave souls out there."

"Oh dude, I've got a great ass idea," Jake sits up and leans on his elbows, "Let's keep this a secret from princess. Oh and Lady cause you know she cant keep anything from her."

Marce kinda laughs at this in confusion. "Uh what? Why? If you haven't noticed my services include a bouquet and unless you've learned flower language I dont think we can take Lady outta the equation."

He snorts "I may not know flowers, but I know my girlfriend. I can just be vague and she'll take it as a challenge and try to make the perfect bouquet. S'no problem on that front.

"I figured we could keep it a secret so we can see Bon's pure and raw reaction. Like I said, there hasn't been a suicide mission in a looooong while so she probably doesn't expect this. And it'll be way more funny cause someone commissioned you for it. Where it is no secret that a) you do this and b) you get help from the three of us."

"You got a point there detective. Bur fair warning, Bon will be giving us the stink eye for days if we do this. Especially me because she's my thesaurus and metaphor maker. You know how she loves taking credit for making them sound like a stupid romance novel."

"Psh, she loves you to hell and back. She'll just pout at you for a while and when you buy her her favourite candy it'll be right as rain."

Okay, that sounded valid but at the same time Marceline kind of shut down after Jake said Bon loves her so uh she guesses she'll just trust that it'll be fine?

" 'nother idea," Jake says softly. He's looking at he- actually. No he's not looking at her, hes just looking her way but his eyes are just. Not there.

"Uh, shoot"

"Make this song the best you've ever made."

Marceline laughs for a second before she realizes okay wait Jake is serious about that. What. Why the fuck would she do that.

He shrugs and smiles again. Soft and pitying -what why why is Jake acting like this what the fuck- and he gestures around a bit before speaking.

"Well, first off it'll be good practice for you. You've been workin with Bon for about as log as you've been doing this so think of this as a test to see how you are now on your own.

"Second, well ya gotta admit if you pull out a banger and Bon actually likes it it'll be way funnier cause you can sing it and she'll look all annoyed but you can see that her tapping her foot and bobbing her head. It'll be funny for everyone involved.

"And lastly," Jake takes a deep breath before speaking, as if this is one of the toughest things he's done in a while. "Call it a father's intuition."

She stares at him. She- she doesn't know hwo to react to that.

After a second, Jake cracks a soft smile and "Did you get Lady pregnant, you fucking askal" just slips out of her mouth.

Jake laughs loud and boisterous at this and Marce just follows.

Yeah, she might as well make this the best one she's ever made. The client won't get the girl, but at least she can make her like it

#chersonal #adventure time #at hc #bubbline #okay this got longer than i expected #i just spout this shit before i go to sleep so i dont usually know what the fuck im saying #yellow yelling

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spaceysp · 4 years ago

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Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,

How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,

Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,

Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,

Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,

Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?

ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY

im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk

one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy

1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!

2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely)

bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder

3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date

leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else

4. health issues

bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you

5. bads nervous

this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)

i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now

OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO

this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date

NUMbeR tHree *airhorns*

they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal)

n u m b e r f o u r

where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him

NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them

What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options

1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy

2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy

3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other)

i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF)

i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))

ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon

#tw caps

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throwing-summers-at-the-walls · 5 years ago

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Hello half valid anon here (i like my nickname 😂). I got through all your fics and they were all great. Right now im just reading a lot of poi fanfics and watch fanvids cause i can't accept that the series is over 😂 --- i know what you mean about fics affecting you negatively. I had this with 13rw (the Show and some fics) everything was so dark and hopeless that i had to stop watching it. I also love to seek out fics where someone is hurt so i can feel my pain through the characters (1)

But i try to read only fics with lots of comfort so it kinda feels like i get comforted as well (dont know if that makes sense). If it makes you uncomfortable or if its unhealthy for you to write about this i completely understand and i dont mean to come of as pushing you to write. I just hope whatever you do will be the right decision for you! As for you feeling suicidal im sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is ever anything i can do to help! I wish i could say sth more comforting but Im not super good with words :( i just hope you have people in your life that support you! 💛

maybe root will grow on you too? Or maybe you can skip her scenes and enjoy John, Harold and most importanly Bear! 😂 Yeah Shaw definately looks really good. She is a bit like Reese minus the caring. At first it seems she doesnt care about anything at all but thats not exactly the Case. There was an episode with Shaw and a little girl (3x5) and i really loved it (have you seen that one?).

I really think Shaw would grow on you (especially since in the beginning she does a lot with John) but then again a lot of her later scenes include Root so im not sure. Yes i love that there were never any romantic undertones with her and John!!

yeah the core four were great. I was so sad when Carter died! :(

i guess everyone sees chemistry different, i think Shoot and Rinch post have great chemistry ☺️

as for John being good with people: YES!! he is always so compassionate and such a great listener as well. I especially like him with children. John and the baby were so cute or John with the boy who offered to pay for him. John + Kids was always a great combination and i wished we would have seen it more often. Also regarding children we did we never got to see a John Taylor scene after Carters death? I needed that!

yes John the badass is also amazing! His character has so many different sides and i love him so much!!

i think Grace Harold was really cute but i dont really see a future for them, i mean he lied to her for so long! but then again they really loved each other so idk maybe they work it out. Im also not into John/Harold/Grace but like you said good for the people who like the ship :)

John and Zoe were great! i wish Zoe would have appeared more often!

I have so many things to say about John and the boring therapist but i think i better not say them :D i wish i could just erase their relationship from my mind!

of course he didnt die! i didnt see a dead body so i refuse to believe he is dead! i also just wanted them to be happy. what kind of an ending is it to let the main character die? i refuse to accept this! -- thank you for the rec i will check it out :) while i do like fluff i mostly read h/c (with the focus on the comfort) cause i just want John to get his much needed comfort :D -- i have no idea where season 1 is supposed to be boring. but idc the people can live with their wrong opinions :D

(today: tumblr user nourann3 discovers the option to indent text after almost 5 years on tumblr...)

Hiii !! It is a very valid nickname 😂 That's nice !! Hmu if you want more recs ! Lol same honestly, I can't believe it's been 4 years since the show ended ! I can give you a link to my poi/Rinch fanvids playlist if you're interested 👀

Oh boi 13rw is so cursed, can't believe I watched all of the 1st season 😬 I remember being afraid of the suicide scene making me uncomfortable but it was so cringe, unrealistic and just bad that I wasn't even that uncomfortable, I cringed when she cut her arms but that's it.

Yeah big mood I project a lot on comfort fics as well. For suicide fics, I think it also depends on how the fics adress the subject. It's something that is complicated to write. If I read a suicide fic with no recovery I'm gonna project but feel like shit. But with recovery, I can project into the recovery as well so it's better ! I read a really good ace attorney fic showing Miles recovering after a suicide attempt, it was thoughtful and didn't fall into the pitfalls of magical super fast recovery/love heals everything, and some lines stuck with me, it was really good and comforting. But yeah if it's just a suicide/suicide attempt then I don't think it's good for me (but sometimes I still read it bc I'm a Dumb Bitch).

Dw you didn't come off as pushing 💜 I'll see how I feel about continuing it or not. I have to figure out if writing about suicide is positive or negative for me 🤔 I mean I'm not portraying John's suicidal crisis as a positive thing, and he reaches out to Harold, and considers he might get better so I don't think it's bad for me ? Another problem is that I have a tendency to drop my wips to write a new shiny idea I get, and then I never finish anything gkgkffjfjf I dropped the suicide fic for the body horror fic which I dropped for the time loop fic, and there's also the hanahaki fic I started last year but I haven't touched in months, plus a bunch of random shit floating around OneDrive lmao someone stop me

What helps the most is venting, just getting that shit out is helping y'know. I appreciate your support ♥️ at least it's not as bad as it used to be

I doubt Root will grow on me, catch me watching her scenes at 1.5 speed lmao, also yes you bet I'll enjoy watching them !!

Yes I remember that ep ! Iirc the little girl tells Shaw she has feelings but the volume is lower than in other people or smth along those lines ?

I hope she'll grow on me bc she seems cool. I remember I was a bit afraid of her just becoming a sort of hollow copy of John, like "look we added another badass to the show". Seems to be more than that though ! Also I'm curious about their mayhem twins dynamic. But yeah if she has a lot of scenes with Root idk how much it'll annoy me

I feel like I wouldn't be able to get the Shoot chemistry bc I'm too biased against Root lol

Ikr the crossing hurt me so much. But thinking about it takes me back to my careese days and my first fics lol. I feel like the death of one of the core four + the abandonment of the library really alienated me from the show (did I already say that before ?). And here I'm gonna shamelessly derail from Carter to the library bc boiii do I have a lot of feelings about the library !! And you're here, talking about poi, so you're the perfect subject to throw these feelings at. This post really says what I feel about it (I'll put the link at the end as well if you wanna read it after you're done with this l o n g reply). It was in a way its own character and its forced abandonment/destruction really hit me (fucked me up when they broke that glass board). It says something that it's one of the few things I remember from S3 along with Carter's death and 4C. I loved it a lot, it was a cornerstone of the show. It was a safe place, a home for Harold and John (and Bear !). I love when they're together in there, I love this cracked glass board, this yellow stained glass in the windows !!! (at least I assume it's stained glass ?), these lights, Bear's cushion, the whole cozy/safe/isolated feelings, just absolutely everything. And yeah later they have the subway, idk when it's introduced I don't remember if it's early enough for me to have watched it. And maybe it's nice, I can't judge rn. But it's like trying to give me a new MC after a MCD, make him as nice as you want I'll be clutching the previous MC until I die. Gkfkfkff I went overboard and off topic but I just love the library ok

Ikr I love how he's badass but also gentle and understanding and nice to people ! I love him !!! Yeah wolf and cub is really good, also I love when John smiles to Darren at the end !! I use this moment as my pfp bc I love it so much. He's just so cute ! I wish he smiled more (did we ever hear him laugh in the entirety of the show ?). Baby blue is so great, Harold and him are such a married couple in this ep ! Yeah same more content with John and children would have been nice.

I never thought about how much we needed a John Taylor scene but yes !! We were robbed :((((

Speaking of John being a cool badass. Here's a badass John vid rec it's super good

youtube

Yeah they were cute in the past. I think it's good he went back to her bc it gives closure to both of them. But I don't see their relationship working again. She grieved, probably started to move on after all these years and knowing he lied all this time probably won't make her want to go back with him. I've never been in love so what do I know lol, but were I her I probably wouldn't want to go back with him and I'd just be happy knowing he's alive after all.

Same I need more Zoe (also she's hot)

Lmao let's just forget about that weird relationship shall we

Aren't we all the same, firmly believing he's alive and happy out there ! It was foreshadowed since the first ep and it made sense but do I care ? No, fuck that shit John is very much alive

You're welcome ! John needs all the comfort and the love !!! I think I have a preference for fluff bc he gets hurt enough in the show lol

Indeed they can, veryyy far away from us

Sry if this is shit I have like half a functioning braincell today

The post abt home bases I mentioned

#half valid anon #look you have your own tag #person of interest #tw suicide #i thought I was done but then i got feelings abt the library

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likeaflowingwind · 4 years ago

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[An Unimportant List of Unimportant Person]

Writing Challenge #3 - Way(s) to Win My Heart

Had so many [dead]lines this past two weeks, i didn't have time to update my page, which is actually fine since i don’t have any readers except my bestie (shout out to Vq! Luvya!). Can we continue this stuff, even if I have already failed the challenge? Yea we should. I still want to do it anyway. Who made the challenge? Me. Who decide whether we should stop or keep going? Me.

So-

Way(s) to Win My Heart.

No one's gonna read this I guess, but FYI, these are the things that (probably) make me think and be sure that "this person is something, guess i can finally give the most essential thing in my live : my heart. my world. everything.". (p.s : those are the only thing left, if you expect more, find someone else.)

1. I'll be jump over you, without even thinking about it twice or a hundred times, if you have the same music taste with me. Don't worry. I enjoy almost all genres of music, from rock, pop, ballad, indie, 90s 80s, sobat ambyar, dangdut, k-pop, j-pop, anything (even Nissa Sabyan's). As long as my ear can "accept" the melody, everything can possibly be my favorite. So, recommend me any good music! I'd like to listen to your playlist :)

2. I like "act" more than "words". The guy who doesn't usually talk much, but rather do it right away. Those who dont necessarily say "i love you" in front of my eyes, but rather shows me that he cares, that I meant a lot for his live. And, you know, since I have the so-called "existensial crisis" (which often makes me think I dont belong for anyone, my live will never be important for any people in this world), I'll be glad if he shows me how to make me feel, at least, more confident about my presence. "My happiness depends on your smile." will be the most beautiful grace i have ever received, if i had one.

3. A strong believer who NEVER EVER EVER think that he is the perfect version of human being and everyone is just a sinner. The man who, at one hand, patiently shows me which way to go, but on the other hand is also respect my decision if I think "this one's not right in my heart". If I need time to figure out the truth, I'd be glad if he can give me space and freedom to think.

4. BE MINE IF YOU LOVE CATS! No, but seriously. I met someone, once, who really loves cat. His eyes sparks joy every time he meets random stray cats out there, and believe me, it was... beautiful.

Also, some of my friend will send me some cute cat's pictures when I said "im tired.", "im angry.", or (the very usual one) "im sad." I really appreciate that, for sure.

5. Some people might be happy if someone said "you look gorgeous today!" or "your smile is beautiful!" or "i love your hair!". Instead of those compliments, I'd be more -on the top of the world kinda feeling- if someone said, "You look happier."

In my age, trust me, it's soooooo damn hard just to be happy. I could laugh on jokes without even remember anything about it on the other night. I'd smile everytime my cats give me their cute habit, but when they fall asleep, I'd be back to my 'usual feeling'. Weird, isnt it? I dont know how to win my heart over this. You want to try?

6. I usually attracted (EASILY) to the person who is more knowledgeable than good-looking. Being knowledgeable doesnt mean you have to know everything, any ideas, any theories, any kind of jokes, arts or even political things, in this world. I'd like to see someone's point of view over something and have this meaningful discussion that give me insights and inspirations. I've met someone with this criteria, once. I fell for him a few seconds after he opened his mouth, talking about his college stuff, which made me think "i should be as good as him, someday." Unfortunately, it didnt work cause we have a different nationality and belief. ANYWAY. I needed approximately 6 months to move on, and now, everything is fine.

7. When someone shows his/her love to kids, I don’t know, it is just.. adorable, beautiful, cute, and cool at the same time. Honestly, i dont really like kids. I love my little brother and that’s all. Some kids are just noisy and full of excitement, which, not really my personal preference lol since i hate noises (it makes my head get dizzy). BUT if you like children, and the most importantly you care them with all your heart, you know how to make them happy, I’d be thinking about being your partner of life forever! I swear.

8. My world will probably be different from anyone else’s. You will never know whats going on inside my head. I wont ever force someone to agree with everything that comes from my perspective, instead, i want him to understand that this is me and these are my thoughts. To win my heart, you have to bare with me and every random things come up from my mind.

9. ... (akan di update setiap menemukan ide) wkwk

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pwnyta · 6 years ago

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POKEMON DOODLES. BETCHA DIDNT SEE THAT COMING.

These mediocre doodles are mostly for Omi. Theyre not even real characters from the games/show... its just... dont worry about it. Since im lazy its all just sketchy doodles. ((A shit ton of them under the cut!))

Hugo (Nat- ):

Candy (Nat- Naive): A not all together newbie. Im sure she was delighted to get he codename... and then less delighted that there was someone already called ‘Candyman‘.

Scarecrow or just ‘Crow’ (Nat- Modest): A spooky man who’ll fit whatever roll he needed for. Very flexible. Has an easy personality to deal with though hes not very forthcoming about himself personally... might be better in a job like this.

Lock (Nat- Quiet):

Doc (Nat- Careful): He has a lot of information on almost everyone... aside from Sickle whos doctor is Emanuel. Hes not a fighter and refuses to evolve because his tail was mutilated and he can be a Slowbro anymore. Hes somehow gained a weirdly dark organ harvester rep... maybe because hes rarely seen and peoples imagination go wild... but to the people under his care hes just a nice, tiny guy who does a good job of patching them up quickly. He will smuggle drugs however because now he gets to work in better conditions under Sickle... hes also got a strange morbid sense of humor.

Wisp (Nat- Hasty): An ice queen type, kinda haughty and smug but shes got the skills to back that up so no one can talk shit. Like ‘sure shes an asshole... but shes not wrong‘. She tries to work WITH people just so she can get them the fuck away from her as quickly as possible. She doesnt appreciate people overstaying their welcome and prefers to go solo. If she needs a partner she prefers another woman or at least a pretty man... but someone like Link or Skim would be better.

Skim (Nat- Sassy): Honestly just a nod to Catwoman in general.

Father (Nat- Serious): A very religious man, mute, demands perfection. If you work for him and fuck up and embarrass him youre in for a world of hurt. No matter how fond he may seem to be towards someone this is true. He doesnt play favorites and he doesnt want anyone under him to stagnate. You push yourself or HE’LL PUSH YOU. The operatives working under him are jokingly referred to as his ‘kids‘. Toward his equals he can be respectful... or maybe just tolerant.

Perma (Nat- Adamant): A cruel efficient lady. Has a thing for blades which is possibly why she has no trouble working for a guy like Sickle. The fact hes not interested piques her interest in him even more.

Gadget (Nat- Rash): Tries to be a fun gamer girl but her short temper makes it hard. Some suggest her codename should be ‘Tripwire‘ because of how unpredictably dangerous she can be... but she disagrees BECAUSE SHES A FUCKING DELIGHT. Can be a bit of a troll... and not the goofy fun kind (the malicious I’ll ruin your life if you cross me kind).

Blink (Nat- Calm) A Very obedient and very smart. Has a really droning dull voice and never loses his temper. Hes good at calming a certain Luxray down.

Mele (IDK)

Wool (Nat- Sassy) Plays dumb and pretty but hes rather clever and is a fun loving fella. Has a French accent. Master of disguise!

Wreckingball (Nat- Hardy): Has no real talent or skill. Hes just a tough bastard you call in if you need to fuck some shit up. Hes probably one of the more pleasant agents in Sickles crew and is chummy... probably not the greatest idea considering his coworkers are a bunch of shady assholes.

Mittens (Nat- Jolly): Hes another rather nice agent of Sickles. But hes not a dumbass like Wreckingball and has become of the head of the Sigma divison. He is a bit reckless tho. He can shoot his arms off and use them as weapons so he occasionally wears prosthetic arms and spends a lot of time with Doc.

Prick (Nat- Impish) Hes a smarmy lad who enjoys talking vaguely and annoying people. HIS NAME IS APPROPRIATE AND HE LOVES IT.

River (Nat- Naughty): Flirty and dangerous. Hes a killer but hes quick and efficient doesnt draw out anyones death. Not because hes nicer or squeamish or anything its because torture isnt in his job description. Hes great at getting people to think he honestly cares and like using built trust to crush his victims. He also like cucumbers! He somehow gets along well with Madam even though theyre both just being fake bitches.

Madam (Nat- Mild): Looks very dainty and delicate and uses peoples desire to please a pretty woman to take advantage of them. Shes not shy about minor edits to peoples memories to help her get away even though its illegal.

Cleo (Nat- Docile):

Cresent the Shiny Lycanroc (dusk form. Nat- relaxed)

Link the Golisopod (Nat- Quiet)-

Methuselah the Drampa (Nat- Mild)

Viola the Chatot (Nat- Naughty)

Sandstorm the Flygon (Nat- Adamant)... Her personality is like that of a strict teacher dont let her have a ruler unless you wanna get spanked. Shes neat and detail oriented and because shes so outwardly respectable... no one would ever suspect shes a fucking thief. Shes a collector of rare and valuable books and of course prefers original copies. Her social skills arent grea unless shes pretending to be someone shes not and gets embarrassed if she reveals too much about herself to anyone.

Cavendish the Tropius (Nat- Lax). Her personality is like shes on autopilot, she gets shit done but shes sorta checked out. Shed much rather just stay home but she also got expensive tastes and shes not rich.

Alkaloid (Nat- Lonely): A gloomy lass that craves companionship. Shes not great at making connections to people which is fine for her position but really wants to have someone to click with. After she lost her eye she became even more distant with people. Shes rather fond of Doc though their relationship is rather one sided... her projecting some strange friendship on him because he cares for her and keeps her secrets... but hes a doctor and its kind of his job.

Blanco (Nat- Quirky): A vain dramatic ladies man. Is a skilled in his job (of course) but he hates when hes gotta tone back his extravagant life. After a long job he likes to surround himself with lively people and have some fun. He thinks he works VERY well with others and thinks himself a perfect partner.... most find him obnoxious and a lot have told him so... he just takes all criticism as jokes and lets it roll off him. If nothing else hes very positive!

Mistletoe (Nat- Serious): He seems cold and scary but hes a man of honor (for a guy who tortures people for a living anyway). He refuses to harm anyone weaker than him and is very caring of children and will step in if he sees some injustice if he can. Rouge agents, traitors,and shit like that though... hes ruthless and is very good at prying information out of them. His hobby of developing new and dangerous poisons/chemicals are often tested on whoever hes toying with. ((He should have spots on the light red parts of his jacket... I forgot them IDK how OH WELL. I wanna tweak his costume a bit anyways. Vileplume colors are so bleh.))

Dust (Nat- Calm): Outwardly very charming but theyre not as sweet as they seem on the inside. Dust doesnt need to bring their victims in any kind of room to do their dirty work and prefers using their dust and psychic abilities to just mind fuck their victims into submission.

The Candyman the Alolan Muk (Nat- Quiet) is an annoyingly patient man and the perfect guy to call if you need to teach someone a lesson. If no one else can do it... THE CANDYMAN CAN. IDK what that Mr Mime did but he pissed Sickle off... Candyman has one weak point and thats his poor eyesight... and he’ll get very annoyed if you touch his glasses.

Doc gets a penpal.

BB Sparky helps Boat be a Pichu with the clever use of feathers and a pink marker.

Lees a hit with his mommas work friends.

Lee and his kids. (Sam and Sparky are his kids occasionally.) Hes a stronk boy but his health isnt the best... even Sam can feel a little guilty and worried when he causes trouble for his friend.

Alex is not an easy man to anger and hes very dangerous when hes angry but no matter how pissed off he is... just seeing Lee can sweep that all away. Alex can get away with a lot... but Lee still wont let him wear his preferred fighting attire. QQ so mean.

I revamped Boats friend Arcane. Hes a cop. ...he mostly hangs out with other dogs but also Boat. Nice guy, very righteous but also kind of a prideful asshole sometimes.

Ray revamp.

I made Sandy shiny because the black looked cool.

Some cops.

Another scientist

TAPUS!!!

Halos childhood friend turned criminal.

Stan and Davy fam!! Stans mum is a detective, his dad is a stay at home dad.

Davys mum is an ~*~ARTIST~*~ especially in fashion but shes flexible and creative... and very spontaneous and his dad is former military turned workhorse for his wife. Hes good at sewing with all his tentacles.

Although her desire to have a kid was random and ill thought out... they werent as awful at being parents as he thought.

Another Ray! Mega Manectric and Hebenon.

BB Pokemon Quest crew.

I forgot to add Ho-Oh Lugia

And the trios.

#Pwny Gijinka mon fanarts.#PKMN fanarts #Slowpoke #Toxicroak #Milotic #Hitmonlee #Raichu #...I dont feel like typing all the Pokies I added to this post.#LMAO Fuck it.

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tumblunni · 6 years ago

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Man i was just thinking again about that idea i had for a cliche gijinka app card game where the gijinkas are all Interesting Bugs instead of weird sexy anime george washington.

I've kinda got quite attatched to my idea for a leech gijinka as a super cuddly white mage who just happens to look emo and scary. And they'd be a great opportunity for nonbinary representation cos in real life leeches don't have binary sexes anyway. But i cant decide between whether i want them to look like a full plague doctor mask thing or a more cliche cutesy nurse but theyre like super tall and look like the monster girl from the ring so they get sad that people always run away before they can help them! So then i was thinking "hey, alternate skins!" Not like in the other games ive played where there's always one canon skin and all the others require hours of grinding and/or real money to buy. But just that there's like three or so randomized versions of the base character with all the same stats but a different costume. Just to spice up the pool of options a bit! Or maybe it could even be more than just the costume and you can get entirely different reinterpretations of that job class? Like the medusa jellyfish could be either a young kid or a grandpa!

Oh and i'm not really sure how to name this or anything? Cos its not really a clear category of animals, its not all insects or all worms or whatever. More like just..all the animals that are unfairly hated but have Cool Biology Facts that i can babble at u to maybe make u like them more. So i dunno.. Pests? Creepy crawlies? Some entirely made up fantasy term for them?

Also i think the setting will definately be jrpg fantasy! Just a world where all these critters are actually funky people on a comedically bad D&D quest. I wonder who the villains could be tho? Maybe theyre gijinkas of more commonly loved cute animals? Or like.. Not gijinkas but monsterfied versions? Hilariously over the top evil fluffums! hamsters are this setting's dragons! And i dunno maybe the ultimate dark lord is a dog with a cat for a royal vizier or something, cos theyre the kings of popularity.

This could also make it actually make sense why the Clione character could be a beserker like in real life! Cos theyre the most un-hated rare sea slug for looking cute, but their actual personality is big scary predator. But in this universe being seen as cute by humans = evil, so the Clione's fighty doom personality would make perfect sense! Im not sure if i should make them like a tormented Shadow esque antihero or a paladin-looking knight who has a dark streak or maybe even a viking? Cos in videogames theyre like the epitome of 'loves fighting but is still a nice hugs guy'. And it'd be neat to have a chubby buff clione instead of the more cliche bishie gijinka. But then i mean theyre literally nicknamed 'sea angels' or 'sea fairies' depending on country so yeah? Oh or maybe that could mean i make them an elf or an angel but theyre still mega buff! Viking guy with lil chibi wings and halo!

Also randomly i think that Slug will be the other nonbinary character along with Leech. Cos well there's a lot of bugs who dont fit the human gender binary but i'd probably be a bit too obnoxious if i had like 90% enbies and noone else. I always think about like 'if this is my first game project i need to go at a small and reasonable pace with all the Big LGBT Feels', yknow? But then every idea i do is always my first game project cos ive never completed any of them yet XD

Anyway i think Slug would be a more fashionable bishie kind of androgenous character, while Leech is a relateable cuddly socially awkward one who wears a mask. But definately also looks stylish in their own way, and i'm sure Slug is always complimenting them and trying to bolster their spirits! Aside from being super fashionable i also think maybe Slug would be a wandering bard? Cos somehow slow animal -> lazy human -> free spirited instead to be less cliche -> bard. Also the whole 'bard rolls to seduce every boss' meme, lol! So Slug is a very nyeheheh tricksy flirty adventuring song person who aint take nobody's shit. Instead of being sleepy they sleep on the concept of low self confidence! Full and powerful pride at all times!!! Goal in life is to be beautiful AF and handsome AF and make everyone swoon at your feet and also recite an epic poetry so cool that your enemies straight up die from the sick burn. Tho i mean i don't think anyone could actually ACHIEVE that, lol! It might be obnoxious if i actually have a character who's basically 'enby people are literally perfect in all ways'. So i just think Slug is a big ol dork who's like the Gaston archetype of the comically overconfident flirt, but like a good and heroic version who actually respects when people say no to their advances. And is also a great BFF to Leech and tries to help them get out of their shell, because well of course Slug is out of theirs XD

Also actually i dunno whether they should all just be named after the animal or have thier own names but the animal is mentioned on their profile as a job class name or something? Cos it might get awkward once we get to more specific obscure bugs with longer names or ones who only really have a scientific genus name. I'd feel like i'd have to make them all wizards cos their names sound like spells! Oh MAYBE THEYRE SPELLS!! Like each character could chant their own scientific name when they use their ultimate attack??

Oh and maybe Slug and Leech could be just based on the species in general but have their alternate costumes themed after more specific rare subspecies? Like Slug could have nudibranch themed costumes cos the vibrant colours would fit such an elegant fashioniste~ And leech could just be an opportunity to talk about how there's subspecies of leech that dont drink blood, though this character is based on the ones that do because otherwise they wouldnt really have a unique job class, lol. Maybe their rarest alt costume is a fashionable orange ensemble that symbolizes both Slug taking them out for a night on the town in their finest to feel more comfortabke in their self confidence, and also just the fact there's an orange tropical leech. Its kinda funny cos there isnt such a huge range of different colours for leeches, its mostly just different barely visible patterns and a spectrum from greenish brown to brownish black, lol. And then suddenly a bunch of wildly different red and orange ones! And nothing in between! Really does seem like a surprise makeover from your bestie, yknow?

Oh and then when i was thinking about other potential relationships between different magic bug people, i thought of Daddy Longlegs! Cos thats a name confusingly given to multiple bugs of wildly different species who're all mistaken for spiders when they really arent. And this mythical nonexistant daddy longlegs spider also has the myth of having 'the strongest poison but its fangs are too short to bite you' which is COMPLETE nonsense based on nothibg cos how would it even survive in the wild if it cant hunt? But its a real cool myth so it could be an awesome excuse to make them have a move that gambles on either an instant kill or a self debuff. ALSO THEY ARE MARRIED

I was thinking they could be a duo of fabulous zorro-looking assassin dudes who were sent to assassinate each other but instead fell in love and quit the business for good. Like 'you made me want to live again, and the only reason i threw my life away on this job was cos i wanted to die'. And to atone for all the bad mercenary stuff theyd done in the past, now theyre robin hood esque mercenaries who take jobs with world-saving hero groups like our protagonists. And they work for free as long as the cause is just! And they wish they could settle down someday and dream about having children of their own, but they feel like they dont deserve it after all that theyve done. They'd be a rare goofy bugmans that actually have a real emotional backstory! So anyway they're fancy fencing guys who're both the same class but maybe slightly different variants with different stat builds or abilities? More specialized and all. Like maybe one is speedy but weaker and one is slower but stronger? Or one relies more on luck based attacks and one is a consistant damage dealer but has a lower max damage cap? Or even one is status effects and one is attack and really even though they have the same job name theyre wildly different interpretations of it. Fitting for the entomology mistake husbands! I want them to be balanced so that they have special bonuses together but are still viable to use separately if your party setup only requires one of them. Also randomly i think their names would be Albedo and Rubedo? I was originally gonna make Rubedo the name of the leech cos i mean alchemy words and plague masks and all. But then it doesnt really SOUND like an alchemy word, it sounds like a fancy handsome dancer name. And then i started thinking about the cute once-sad-now-happy young assassin dads fighting together so well that it looks like one big dance between them, rather than a battle. And i got REAL EMOTIONAL over goddamn bug gijinkas! Man my heart is made of paper and mush!! Oh and maybe they have combo attacks together but also with all of the party members that are younger? Like special dad instinct combo! A built in ability that they automatically shield the kids from enemy attacks. YOU HIRED A MERCENARY BUT YOU RECEIVED A NICE MARRIED COUPLE WHO PROMPTLY ADOPT YOU. Oh and maybe their alternate costumes could just be each other's costumes? Like they'd already be wearing matching red and white versions of the same thing, but then albino dad wears ginger dad's version and vice versa. Or maybe their alt costumes are different complimentary colour pairs like black and gold or blue and pink? And maybe their ultra rare special costume is Big Cute Dorky Argyle Dad Sweaters! It must be capitalized cos it is IMPORTANT!

Oh and then i was also thinking about the idea i had before of bugs with a queen hive structure being like the workers are the common unit and the breeders and queens and such are rarer variants? But the workers are the only ones actually good in a fight, the others are just for collectables sake. Rare but useless, just like how the real queen bee is so big that she cant leave the hive, and never figjts a day in her life unless the kingdom has already fallen. So maybe queen bee is still unlockable as a rare character but she's just a support that makes worker bee stronger? Like you get a lil event of worker's boss coming to honor her with a knighthood for her good service, allowing her to upgrade her job class. Tho i think she still fights with construction work equipment, now its just like a golden jewelled shovel XD

#bug app game #if i actually make this it obviously wont be an app game cos im not capable of programming or funding that #itd just be a free rpgmaker project that spoofs all the cliches of this genre of gijinka gatcha nonsense #youd just earn coins to buy randomized new units via regular gameplay #and probably have a lot more ease of enjoyment features to balance it out and stuff #like your odds go up if you get lots of unlucky pulls in a row #i just want everyone to have fun and be able to see as many of my goofy characters as possible!#no need to stretch it out to 120 hours if nobodys getting money for it lol

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perfectionistincrisis · 7 years ago

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Life these days in general..Part 2

Lalala. Ok im back to finish my post :)

I had to run to pray so had to stop last night. Also i just woke up and my heads all &^$&$*Q( so I might talk crap :)

um ok i wasnt planning on writing about it but like thats the thing which came in my head right now cause im kinda sleepy so yeah. My brothers like going to leave for Canada like in 23 days. ok so how do i feel? um kinda okay. like i am sad but like i want all the best for him. its like, i know i will miss him a lot, like a lot lot. we dont really spend a lot of time together though. but like i still will miss his presence in the house and ik i will cry for sure cause even now sometimes although its just for a tiny second but whenever i think of him not being around after some days and it being this way for almost ‘one entire year’ before he comes back inshaAllah my eyes do get teary, but theeeen yeah its just for a second and then i handle it. but like i said, i wouldnt want it any other way! I am really happy he is leaving and i wish all the best of the best for him inshaAllah.

Ok and btw Alhamdulillah these days im handing life better. like i didnt have a ‘horrible’ mood swing this week although i was about to crumble though ._. btw when i say these days i mean this ‘week’. thats what these 2 posts of mine are about. soooo yeah, now heres the thing!

So like sometimes I get this random feeling. like my lifes so messed up everythings a mess and all, whether its my daily life or like some goals in future, and then like i cant do anything i have to sit tight, take a pen and paper and like jot down stuff i gta do or smthn. like things i have to do withing these days, thngs i have to do today maybe, some for this week. some maybe ‘life goals’, some, in a year ._. Like yeah. Thats what happens when youre a perfectionist and you like things to be super organized. But one thing i can handle Alhamdulillah is being able to be ‘flexible’ with all the plans and ideas. meaning i dont think i get really devastated if it doesnt work accordingly cause i am aware of that and its okay but the problem here is the urge to get everything organised and listed from the ‘beginning’, like to start with in itself.

And ^ that happened last night, and then guess what? After i was done ‘scribbling my plans and shit’ i was then freaking out trying to figure out if i ‘missed something out’ like Wth.. why does it even matter, i mean i can just write whatever i want whenever i want why do i have to freak out ugh. so yeah i didnt work out, i went straight to sleep.

Okay so when im handling life pretty fine Alhamdulillah, I start getting this fear. like. ok. everything is ok now, meaning something is going to happen soon, something bad. and that scares me. So whenever I get happy, i get scared too.

And in one of my earlier posts i also talked about the fear i have of idk.. i mean, i always think of him.. And I just want everything to be so perfect between us.. like ok this doesnt even make sense but still. i mean ok we dont talk and all and no really less about each other right now blabla but we love each other and i dont want to mess that up. Now ask me howd that happen? See, i dont know ok? but i just dont want it to happen. and that scares me too. i mean idk. its like that entire post of mine from earlier. i mean misunderstandings, irrational thoughts, silence, guilt, sadness. whatever. Ugh. (*&^%$#$%^&

But also. Ive heard all the saying about how ‘distance’ separates people, how lack of communication affects people, the silence. and a lot of other things. and i totally understand the basis upon all these saying, and i do have to agree to all of it too but.

But me and him, I think we are more in love right now than we ever were.. Now dont get me wrong, we were really in love before too but like if you have to compare. if something did happen, then the love sure did increase. a lot... Alhamdulillah <3

Also, since past 4 or 5 days, theres this warm feeling in my heart. Like he’s engraved in it. Like he is here, and not going anywhere. Like he is -home- Yeah ‘home’ that is the word stuck in my mind whenever i feel that warmth <3 now why im saying its recent is because, i mean he is always there in my heart but like not with this feeling, as in, im scared, worried usually. he is my biggest prayer and i want to get married to him but like these days i still do of course lol but like theres this feeling of warmth, like i do want him, and i also ‘know’ that yeah i will get him one day inshaAllah. <--- like i have that confidence that hope is so strong it just brings the warmth. its like he is here, except that he is not actually BUT he will be ‘actually actually here’ soon, i just need to hang in there a little bit longer, inshaAllah.

^ UGH, I hope i make sense lool

Hmph. I guess thats it for now :) Also on a side note: His recent snaps = HEART LOVE HONEY CANDYYY!!!! And one of them makes me literally start laughing out loud every time i see it <3 <3 <3 :D :D :D

ok buh-bye

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swearronchanel · 8 years ago

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Oops I did it again: Unnecessary post of random thoughts part 2 - series 5, Episode 8

Because I got some laughs last time posting my actual thoughts while watching and since series 6 STARTS TOMORROW (it’s 11pm here) I’m going to do it again with Series 5, episode 8. Yup, that episode

- lol what boat is this and why is it worthy for the intro - yass Trixie - Damn Vanessa already so inspiring - Shelagh ! hello nurse Turner - Lame ass rules. Give single girls the pill who’s going to snitch - “It’s a start and you still change lives, for the better ” get yourself a Shelagh :beauty and support - Violet’s headscarf is cute - Oh yea I forgot it’s this lady who’s kinda related - Don’t care about this story tbh - Hey Tom 😏 - “I should put a shirt on” , “that would be preferable” Lady why you lying to a vicar - Sister E being cute with the gremlins - Sister MJ with the puppet 😂😂 I love her - Susan Mullocks!! So precious - How tf do they make the baby look so real but can’t make a wig to look real for Pats - Shelagh looks so pretty, I like the lavender. Let’s see what 1962 does for her wardrobe cause she looked so good in the Christmas special - “Baby Williams evacuated his bowels” Lmao babs got shitted on - “It’s called distival” nooooo - Trixie wants Pantyhose lol, go get em girl💁🏼 - “Sounds like a breeding ground for yeast” I LOVE U PHYLLIS 😂😂 - Aw I miss Sister E’s yelling 💔 - “Love knows no boundaries” lol yo Violet is actually precious she needs more screen time - Alright an Australian’s cool but there needs to be a story line for an American girl so it can be me - Someone set that up I’d do it for free - Tom why you so handsome? - also why tf are you two always making out? I don’t care but like Shelagh and Patrick are married and never kiss - lol It’s so funny that they never kiss but they’re going to have a baby on the show - hey pats and delia - wait delia’s welsh why does she not have a passport ? - Can you go to other countries in the U.K. with no passport? I remember that in the European mainland going to France and Spain from Italy but I haven’t been to the U.K. so I don’t know - here I am being a dumbass American - poor mrs cottingham - the wedding dresses lmao, weird to think nuns get “married’ to god - sister MJ😭 she’s not even that tall though - shit I’ve had too many thoughts I’m only 20 mins in - sister E with her last baby omg my heart - I THOUGHT I WAS OKAY IM NOT - Fred found her I wanna cry but I ain’t no bitch - jk I am I feel tears forming - que linda Angela 😭💕 - “Patrick you’re needed at Nonnatus house” damn it I’m crying - everyone on the stairs, my heart hurts - “How is our sister to rise again if her earthly form is not in tact..” omg sister Monica Joan I CANT 💔💔💔 - I already miss sister E and I didn’t see series 6 yet, she would’ve take NONE OF sisters Ursula’s shit - “Patrick Distival’s being withdrawn” - Oh fu*k. - yo queen Laura freaking Main needs an award for her acting - Maybe I should stop cursing - But seriously she’s made me cry or want to cry so many times in this show, I don’t even get this attached like this to tv show characters - I knew they’d give the Australian girl sister E’s dress before they did - Patrick put the damn cigarette out - Wow I’m sad - “She never once said thank you in 18yrs of bicycle maintenance” I loved fred and sister e friendship though omg - Phyllis taking charge lets get it - The nuns in sister e’s room aw dios te bendiga - How do I get to be as beautiful as Trixie wtf - Phyllis, Shelagh and Patsy = power research team - Phyllis’s glasses Lmaoo - Go take those pills back ! - Lol the coffee place is called Paris why does Delia need a passport to go - probably was a lot funnier to me than it really is - “God love ya but you look lonely” I am crying again 💔 - PHYLLIS COMFORTING TRIXIE, MY HEART. I NEED A HUG FROM PHYLLIS - “If there’s any justice in the world you’ll get your reward” I love them omg, I need a Phyllis to my Trixie - “When I see Tom and Barbara now I don’t see what I might have had, I see what they have.. I can’t tell you how much I’d love to feel like that. But it doesn’t need to be bc of a man"💔💔 I am in tears. I feel this so hard - Sister E in the casket. 😪 - Trixie and Peter aw, sorry your damn wife couldn’t show up man - “Nasty, personal job” stfu Mrs Bubsy, go back to Wales - “She’s coming to Paris with me” haaa tell me Pats - Lol @ Tom doing a conga line - Shelagh’s coat is so pretty ! and ofc she’s perfect in it - Aw Mrs Mullocks it’s not ur fault - “I didn’t have gin, we were on a budget” same. try Vlad, horrible taste but works - Again Laura Main, so good with the facial expressions, like I wanna cry with her and hug her - Ha they lit dancing to the twist while the bride’s in labor. Didn’t this happen in an earlier series? - I’m pretty sure someone gave birth during a wedding. Chummy delivered the baby I remember - everyone in black in front of Nonnatus hurts me - THE SHOES, I cry - Damn I forgot how sad this was 💔 - why am I in the feels, i shouldn’t have watched this - Cue Vanessa Redgrave’s outro - “The world was hers no longer..” - “The hope that knew no end” THERE’S SO MUCH HOPE, THERE WAS HOPE IN SOUTH AFRICA, HOPE FOR SHELAGH AND PATRICK EVEN THOUGH THEY DONT KNOW YET, HOPE IN SERIES 6, HOPE IN TODAY FROM THE WOMENS MARCH for 2017 AH - Too many feels. But - The End .

#call the midwife #in all the feels #tomorrow is lit though #cautiously optimistic #extra is my middle name #jk is Rachel #but whatever you get my joke #sorry I curse so much #my commentaries™

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xomaleriestar · 4 years ago

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Collection of notes

17.02.2021 at 10:02

so what i wanted to say before initially

is that i read the letter

and was wondering if its still relevant

ok so my response letter its so in heat of the moment and gross but whatever. i wanna share before ur travels and not think about it

i think i have feelings for you too big time but im hella damaged and have big problems w trust so its hard to accept any thoughts of them. i literally cant stop thinking about u and it burns in my chest when i do

its recent, like 2 weeks. always thought im totally tripping out and were totally chill but like bro when i went to take that covid test the other day thats when i realised that it might be a fucking problem cuz i literally felt empty inside w out u and im soso scared sooooo scared of being ok with "feelings" and its really goddamn hard to talk about them as well for me but lets see what happens in the next month

slight overview of damage: the more i open up the more distant i get usually. i've always felt im not worthy of anything good in life and im rotten throughout and its my "destiny" to lean how to give myself away to """"god"""" and reach enlightenment through my own methods

i think all comes from my relationship with my mom which i need to fix before being capable of love cuz ive felt my whole life like i have no idea what it is as i think my mother does not know either. so its been my plan all along to try and learn to love my mother on this trip and forgive her (my whole life i ive been dealing with trauma from my dad so new level now spiritually)

it completely quiet in estonia so my mind is racing but whatever

our souls are connected forever and i feel a very strong connection to u and ur very good to me or just are good

18.02.2021 at 08:15

i love you so fucking much. everytime i look at you or think of you i feel blessed. writing these letters im not sure you even exist anymore. (having flashbacks of i love dick :D)

and i relate with everything you've said

i'm honestly very very very confused as well with these things so don't be scared to move at your own pace and trust yourself first..? there's nothing to prove and we both are free and i dont need you to give me anything you dont want to. everything

at the right place right time. i feel lucky?

on the topic of trust... you are the first person in my life i've connected with only based on my gut feeling. i overthink a lot, but with you i havent had the need to. in the past i would change a lot for a person, but with you i've only gone deeper within and it's gotten me to a point where i have you and for the first time i feel ready and i dont want to distance myself to avoid getting hurt and im totally okay with being completely honest with you. the feeling of trust came very naturally but it's still scary. usually i search for understanding and i always feel i never get it but with you its so different, i dont think about it. i've never actually realised before now that it's trust i've struggled with and it makes sense with every part of my life. trusting myself with my art, trusting others with myself. again, coming back to my upbringing-it defo makes sense cuz i've never trusted my mother

it's defo a strange point in our timeline but im glad we've talked about these things and opened up more

please have a safe flight, i cant wait u to be in nyc already and defo call me i miss u so

15.03.2021 at 01:00

i just remembered that i almost gave away my room away in july and cuz i was so depressed wanted to stay in estonia. found a new person but she literally cancelled like a week before i came back to uk and my init

2:42 am

literally i cant sleep and am spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this voice memo from my dads bday in the summer where my mom got super depressive/manic and is crying and im talking with her and i cant get the fucking sounds out of my head and honestly im shocked i even recorded it. my whole childhood was literally spent by her facing the window in our kitchen, not showing her face and crying and later locking herself up in the bathroom and i literally got the whole thing recorded and its so painful to listen

ugh i cant fall back asleep, spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this crazy voice memo from summer, dads bday where my mom got super manic and i had recorded it and found it yesterday. listened to the whole thing a couple times and now its stuck in my head like some random song. i'll play it to u one day, it's literally my 9-18yrs explained in that recording. my thoughts are rapidly shifting between that voice memo and you, i literally spent the whole day thinking about you.

i once dreamt that i needed to speak to my mother, grabbed her by her shoulder to turn around to see her face but she kept turning around and had no face, only hair. i never saw her face and this one time when i was stoned, i was trying to remember her face and couldnt. now realising that maybe it was because of these moments

19.03.2021 at 10:42

i love you so fucking much i love you i love you i love you so mich i love you i love you i love u love u i love you i love you i love you so much i love you so much im in love woth you i miss you im in love with you im in love with you l love you i love you im in love with you im in love with you i love you i love you im in love im in love love i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you so i love you so i love you so much i love you so much i love you i love you i think i really love you i love you so much its hard to breathe and i think i really love you and it feels great to really say it to you

20.03.2021 at 17:12

love u so fucking much coumba honestly i hope youll have an amazing day. im gonna go offline for a bit

had a really strange dream, really mundane. took the metro home from some festival and was living in my grandmas apartment again and elevator was broken so had to take the stairs. but it was super slow and dramatic. on my way up (the apt is on 6th floor) i over heard my neighbour family fight and i left the door open to overhear what the topic was and they were yelling at their child?

i crave physical touch

hey hope ur being productive!! goddamn, ive just been writing and reading the whole day and figuring out this creative block situation/ why am i so triggered by work. found the right stuff to read and feeling full of life again. hope u are too

hope you're not second guessing me for getting sad yesterday. im feeling fucking crazy and it might be cause im starting my period. i keep rereading your letter.

26.03.2021 at 19:21

bless you

ur so nice to me

had a walk and it was really refreshing. feeling better but have so many anxieties that sometimes i just explode

i fucking love u too. sometimes its like ur my lifes worth of care i never

sometimes i feel like my lifes worth of good is coming to my life through you

......ur so nice to me....honestly i love u too so much..... i think it might be bc of full moon but im just like a total wreck today :D thanks for hearing me out before. and yes i'm excited to see whats waiting for me in london!!

in other news -.... called me rude and an egomaniac bc i told her i was depressed and feeling xtremely anxious blabla basically overview of what i told u today so will postpone thinking about countryside stuff. feeling like shit again lolzzzzzz bc of it.... we were supposed to go together with misha but misha cancelled right so im not really in a hurry which she knew and wished me a happy trip back to london. like whenever she doesnt get what she wants she goes off but i mean i do understand that im being an asshole as well so its like the perfect way to end this day

baah mh im just gonna rant here u dont even have to respond :D but i used to be really really selfless growing up and my parents always bring it up that i let my friends use me lol and ive been hella defensive abt it always bc i never knew how intense it was?. friends literally always came first and i kinda repressed my true self bc of embarrassment etc etc and two years ago it slowly started morphing into hurt and disappointment idk why i expected sth back (now i dont thats prolly why im super self centred and delusional as well i guess) so like after all this shit when im like yo having a hard time i get called a fucking egomaniac... i think im tired and honestly the fact that im getting along w evert so well makes me so happy but yeah since eliann is horrible at expressing emotions its harder

31.03.2021 at 20:20

❣️ is for 🚬👄👗COOL🕶☕️🏙❣️

❣️ is for 🎀🎀🎀ORIGINAL 🎀🎀❣️

❣️ is for ⭐️Ur A Star ⭐️ ❣️

❣️ is for MUSIC 🎧🔊🎶❣️

❣️ is for 🦋🦋 BEAUTIFUL 🦋🦋❣️

❣️ is for 💫💐🧚‍♀️ANGELIC 🏵🖼🔮❣️

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

02.04.2021 at 14:24

miiisssssssss uuuuuuu sooooo muuuccchhhh aaaannndddd caaannnnoooottttt wwwaaaaaiiiitttt toooo seeeeee uuuuuuu aaallllrrreeeaaaddddyyyyy iiimmmm sssoooop eeexxxccciiittteeeeddddd ffffoooorrrrr iiiittttt

11.04.2021 at 12:54

i really reaally love you

13.04.2021 at 21:53

have said this before but im drunk AGAIN and will say this AGAIN that i think ur amazing

14.02.2021 at 01:46

im in love w u

0 notes

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Shawnee Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74802

"Shawnee Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74802

Shawnee Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74802

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16 yr old car insurance?

I'm about to turn 16, and about to get a car (Volvo cross country) I will have another 2 main drivers on the account. How much will it be in a roundabout? Also I will be 16^ I have a completely clean record C average And a male""

""Poll: Hey, can I borrow your car?""

Poll: Hey, can I borrow your car?""

""Im 17,i need help with my car insurance?

im 17 and car insurance at my age is really expensive but about 9 months ago i went to an insurance agency and they gave me an reallllllllyyyy good quote well something happen and had to cancel my insurance with them now i bought a new car and i want to knw if i can go back to them and get the same good car insurance price because ive been shoping and geting quotes online and its sooo dang expensive

""Insurance question, 20pts for the best answer?""

Think about your life, home, automobiles and possessions. What type of risks/accidents can happen to each of these? What type of insurance would you recommend to protect against each of these risks.""

Where would i be able to find FREE health insurance in Derry New hampshire?

""Getting a used car, and insurance the same day (which first)?""

Today I will be looking at a used car a costumer has in their mechanics shop. There is a Geico agent right around the corner from where the vehicle is, and I would like to know, if I should get insurance on the car before I test drive it, or after I know I want to buy it. I also would like to know how will I drive it after I have bought it without it's license plates, and if I can would I be able to take it to the DMV, and get plates the same day?""

Does anyone know in detail what no fault car insurance is?

I am having a problem understanding no fault car insurance. Can somebody explain how it works?

Will car insurance go up if I get a speeding ticket?

Will my car insurance rate go up if I got a speeding ticket? Im in California. This is the first one ever, and I've been driving for about 4 years now. Anyone with an answer? Thanks in advance!""

Can I claim health insurance costs?

If i am retired, 55 and have to pay my own health insurance, can I deduct them on my income taxes. Lets say the monthly premium is $500 and my anual income is $24,000""

Where can i get cheap insurance?

low rates? ???

Health and life insurance?

im needing to look into health and lfie insurance for myself, and was wondering where to start? What is everyone using? i need something reasonable and something where i dont get the run around with!! Any help appreciated!""

Car insurance?

my spouse has never had a drivers license and took my car while i was at work and had an accident . my spouse is not excluded on my policy will my insurance cover damage to other property

What are the variables included in the cost of car insurance?

What are the BASIC variables that are included in any car insurance? i.e...car color, car make, type of car, horsepower, year, age of driver, ethnicity...? Which things do they look at car wise/and driver wise that affect how much insurance you end up paying in the end? and does the speed of the car effect the cost greatly?""

How much do i need to save for a motorcycle?

I have my g1 and will be attending a motorcycle safety course soon then getting my m1. Then i can drive motorcycles. But I want to wait till next year..I am first buying my car. (03 crown vicotria) After the winter. I am 6'2 and weigh 140lbs. (17 and male) is a kawa ninja 250r a good first bike for me?? how much do i need to save for the bike itself? but also insurance?? what is your opinions?

How much qualifies as full coverage insurance?

Will this affect my car insurance rates?

Once, several years ago I had given the information to the other person but had not heard from anyone several days later, so I called my insurance... sadly (my bad) I did not get the other persons information so I was told not to worry about it until the other person reported it... that never happened... what happens here????..""

How much would car insurance cost for a 22 yr old male?

Im 22 yr old male, live in Florida and never owned a car. So how much would i cost for me to get car insurance? Im also a college student.""

Auto Insurance Company Lowballing me??? What do I do?

I have a 2001 porsche and this lady just tboned me going through a red light. Now My insurance company wants to offer me about 5000 dollars less then what I can replace it for. I sent them 10 ads in the area close to my car to show them, and they in turn had me appraised by an independent agency. This agency, BIG BLOCK, came back with a dozen examples that all had more miles then mine, and adjusted me .16 cents a mile. After doing depreciation calculations on their examples, the average dep per mile was .60 cents per mile!!!! This changes their evaluation by about 7-8000 dollars overall. Its been two weeks since they totaled my car. What should I do if they keep trying to low ball me?""

What if i don't have car insurance and i don't drive the car?

i wanna buy a car but not drive it for a while but i can't afford car insurance....can i not register until i am ready to drive it is that legal?????

Shawnee Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74802

How much would car insurance be for a 17 year old?? please answer?

im a male, 17 years old, recently got my g2 license, i bought a used 2000 toyota celica gt-s. how much approximatly would my car insurance be? thanks""

Is it possible to get a good used car for 3000 $ ?

I live in the Los Angeles area and I am a student .. I really need a car but I can only afford 3,000$ at the most .. Do you think I can get a pretty decent looking car for 3000$ ? and I am 25 years old , I never drove before ... How much do you think the insurance would cost approximately considering that I am 25 years old and new driver with a used car ? I really wanna know if I can get a good one for 3000$ Thanks a bunch !!!""

How do I fight an auto insurance company's liability decision?

I was T-boned by another driver who I believe rolled through a stop sign and could not have been paying attention to the road. It was a four-way stop intersection, and the insured ...show more""

Need advice on good medical insurance company?

Wanting to purchase medical insurance for a family member. Looking for a very good company who could provide major medical insurance with at least a $2,500.00 deductible. Just mainly looking for some basic coverage. Thank you for whatever advice you can give me.""

Insurance related question?

I am planning to take a savings plan insurance in SBI Life Insurance for tax benefits and for my future benefit also. Is SBI Life Insurance reliable or shall i consider for some other insurance company? If you think other Insurance company, please suggest some good company names. And do you think my option for saving plan is good or shall i look for some other plan? Your suggestions are welcome and thanks for your time.""

""I need help w/ having a DWI, sr22's and autoinsurance?""

so i got a DWI in march of 2010. I havent had my license in over a year as penalty. but now i need my license & insurance. I have no idea what to do, where to get sr22 or whatever it is, nothing. i live on my own and i dont know what to do at all. i have no help. i used to live in california. thats where i got my DWI. but im september, i moved to oregon & thats where im currently living.""

Anyone know any companies that provide really cheap insurance for uk drivers?

Can you or spouse be denied group health insurance?

I have stage 4 cancer. I have insurance through my husbands job. If my husband changes jobs and is offered insurance at the new job can I be denied insurance due to the preexisting condition? I live in Georgia. I already checked and got information on cobra.

Car insurance- estimated quote? lowest pricing company?

i'm a 17 year old new female driver. the car im looking at is a 1995 grandam. about how much would you estimate insurance will be monthly on my own plan? and what company do u find is the cheapest?

Will homeowner insurance rates go through the roof if Cap and Tax passes through the Senate?

HYPOTHETICALLY............If you are trying to sell a house, you get audited (like it says in the bill) and they say that you have to upgrade a whole lot of stuff that you can't ...show more""

Would you let me collect on your life insurance?

What would I have to do to collect on your life insurance? If I bought you life insurance and paid the premium on it and paid your funeral costs and paid your family 20% on the insurance policy would you let me collect on your insurance?? This is considering that you cannot afford life insurance yourself.

How much would the average cost of car insurance for a 16 year old male in ohio be?

Will my insurance agent report to my car bank that car is not covered no more.?

I'm with state farm. I been playing 190 monthly. Now they want me to pay 450 dollars. I just paid yesterday and my agent said my next due payment is due on 7th this month for 450 dollars. He said it was to be paid when I first got with state farm but I switched agents and now I am expected to pay next week. This is unfair and without fair notice. My insurance is going a cancle if not paid in weeks from now. What do I do. Is my car bank gonna find out car insurance got canceled. I was told it was 190 per month. I thought deposit was high but why 400 ?

""17 year old learner, got my own car - Do I just need learner insurance for now?

I'm a learner driver with my test next month and I now have my own car. I want to practice in my own car up until my test and I'm not sure whether I just need learner insurance or if the car itself needs to be insured as well? Learner insurance is around 80 for the month and for 'proper' insurance then it's around 2000. Any help?

Where can I get comprehensive car insurance to cover in Serbia and Montenegro?

I am travelling from the Uk to Serbia and Montenegro in June 2007 and want to have my car covered for this trip. My car is registered in the UK but my insurance company will not cover me for this trip.

Insurance for a street bike?

how much is insurance for a street bike starting out

Going on my dads car insurance...question?

My dad has Triple A auto insurance ..I do not live with him I am on my own in my own house, I never ask my family for help. But right now my tabs are expired and since I am only 20 I cannot afford auto insurance..they want me to put 300 down just for no fault and I think its ridiculous, Right now I dont have 300 dollars either so I asked my dad if he could help me out temporarily and put me on his car insurance ..i have a 98 cavalier so it shouldnt be that bad. its been 2 weeks and he keeps saying hes talking to the agent after tomorrow I can no longer drive my car because my tabs say march and april is comming up, I told him I would pay whatever costs to add me on it and whatever he needed a month. I was just wondering if they charge extra to add me on his insurance and my car or is he just making it up because I dont think It should take that long...like I said I am living on my own have never lived with my dad because he was in jail for a long time, moved out when i was 18 and can't get help from my mom or him,,I cant even ask to borrow money from them yet I can loan my dad 200 dollars. Feel like its so wrong, I think im doing pretty good being 20 years old working full time owning a house my own car that I bought myself and going to school...and Im having my first child.""

Does anybody have or had insurance thru esurance?

they are by far the cheapest i found for full coverage for me. i know cheaper isnt always better but i just need insurance because my car is financed. esurance isnt a very big name and i dont know anyone who actually has insurance thru them. anybody know how they are compaired to other companies?

What does health insurance cover?

i recently turned 18 and am in need of Knee surgury. if i got health insurance right now, would it cover the surgury? or would it be like trying to get a totaled car insured? if insurance doesn't cover it, what should i do? i live in NJ.""

So is this whole car dealerships thing going to affect insurance?

If the prices of the cars are going to drop, is this going to do anything to the amount of money I will have to pay for my car insurance once I turn 16? Will it go up, go down, or stay the same""

Where can i get some health insurance @ a reasonable price?

I'm need health insurance my income is very low.. where can i get health insurance at a reasonable price?

Classic car insurance..i need to insure a porsche 924 as a 2nd car.weekend use only any ideas of cheapest?

porsche 924

Car insurance... HAVE THEY GONE MAD?

Basically I am 16 and looking to buy a car that needs work, so that I have a car for when I pass my driving test. I have pretended I was born a year earlier which would make me 17 and eligible for insurance, but all the other details are true. I have also added my dad on the policy and the cheapest I got quoted was nearly 4000, and it's not like i'm going to be driving a rocket ship its a 1989 subaru justy 1.2l engine, which I have valued at 500 (double what its worth). Thus I am struggling to see why it costs so much?? BTW IT'S FIRE AND THEFT NOT EVEN FULLY COM""

How much does car insurance cost for a 16 year old?

Im a girl with good grades that would be added on to my parents insurance policy, can anyone give me a dollar estimate?""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deductable do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance?""

Shawnee Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74802

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/price-quote-liability-insurance-oklahoma-henry-cox/"

0 notes

fanfic-factory · 8 years ago

Text

Love at First Sight (Chapter 34)

P.o.v Ross Ellington and I finished our food and decided we would head over to my place to see what the others were up to. i drove up the driveway with Ellington following right behind in his car. we took separate cars because we wanted to stay as low profile as possible but if paparazzi caught what i did back at the restaurant i guess our secrets out. I got out of my car followed by Ellington getting out of his. we walked into the house o find chelsie and Rydel with their arms wrapped around each other ads they cried into each other's shoulders for a second i was a bit confused but then i realized that rocky had probably slipped up and told at least one of them and then the one he told probably told the other. walked over to chelsie and tried to give her a kiss but she stopped me. 'damn it! she does know!' i thought to myself and right on cue she yells in my face "how could you!" mean while Rydel is yelling at Ellington. 'god i am going to beat the living shit out of Rocky when i find him!' i think to myself as chelsie continues to yell at me. eventually Rydel and chelsie stopped yelling at us. im happy because we now have a chance to explain and i also want to make sure that they don't hate us forever, especially Rydel and Ellington because that could ruin the band and i don't want to let any of our fans down. Ellington and i finally got a chance to explain to chelsie and Rydel at happened and why we didn't tell them sooner and that we were sorry from keeping all of this from them. im actually really shocked at how understanding they were. I'm happy that they understand because all i can say is love is love and because of Ellington i am strong (reference to strong by one direction) I'm kinda shocked about how understanding they were though because of how they went all ape shit on us not even five minutes ago. p.o.v Rydel right after i told chelsie that the both of us were being cheated on be both burst into tears and then Ross and Ellington came through the door it took us both a few seconds to realize that it was them because our vision was blurry because of our tears. When we did reslize it was them though we both instantly went from tears to pure rage. Ross then walked up to chelsie and tried to kiss her. At this point we had both had enough of the secrets and lies and just went full on ape shit at them because of what they have put us through. we kept yelling and yelling at the two of them until we felt they have had enough. after we finished yelling at them they made us sit down so they could explain it all. it made sense but even though i was understanding it would take a while for them to gain my trust back again. p.o.v chelsie After ross and Ellington explained everything to us my emotions were so messed up. i wanted to kiss ross but he's not mine anymore, i wanted to yell at him but my voice was basically gone from already yelling at him, i wanted to just hide away from the world and die because i lost the love of my life. he's not mine anymore i wish i could just back off but its not that easy. i couldn't bear to look at him for one more second or hear one more word come out of his mouth so i left. i got up and left. p.o.v Keara i was sitting in my room texting riker. i had asked if i could go to his place to hang out but he told me what had happened between chelsie, ross, Rydel,and Ellington and then the idea of hanging out at his place all of a sudden didn't seem so great. then i asked him if he wanted to come over to my place to hang out. he actually replied so fast it is literally as if e would have done anything to get out of that house and after hearing what was going on there i can imagine why. i decided that for once i would actually socialize with my family before my boyfriend got here so i went to the living room. when i walked into the living room i saw that they were watching the Big Bang theory. since i love the Big Bang theory i decided i would sit and watch it with my family. was the episode where raj had this competition set up and the rest of the group of friends was split into teams of two. right when and Howard and amy realized that the one thing they have in common is loving Neil diamond iker walked in singing along to sweet caroline. p.o.v Riker i pulled up to keara's house and got out of the car. i walked up to the door and walked right in because her house is basically a second home to me. i walked in and i didnt know what they were watching but i did recognize something. i recognized the song that was playing on whatever it was they were watching so i decided to just walk into the living room singing along to sweet caroline by Neil diamond. after i finished singing she stood up and walked over to me so she could hug me. Then i kissed her. i was well aware that her parents were standing right there but that wouldnt stop me from kissing my amazingly perfect girlfriend. her dad kind of gave me a look that made me think he was going to comment on what i had just done. He didnt end up saying anything though so i payed no mind to it. Her mother than said hi to me and continued to act like nothing had happened. after the slight awkwardness we just all decided to watch the rest of the episode of the Big Bang theory. after the episode ended we snuck off to keara's room. p.o.v Rachel i was sitting at home playing my guitar and singing for the baby because i feel that it would be better for the baby as appose to just talking to it. i was getting a bit bored because i was home alone. parents were both at work and my sister was hanging out with her boyfriend ho might i add is not nearly as cool as rocky. when i thought about that it gave me an idea. i grabbed my phone and texted rocky "hey babe can i come over im a little lonely" he replied quite quickly saying "i dont know if thats such a good idea how about i go over to your place. ill explain everything when i get there. love you" i read the text and a huge smile was spread on my face. the reason behind that being that i havent seen rocky in a while and its kinda weird without him. i decided to watch Austin and Ally while i waited for Rocky to get here. i was super happy when i found out which episode was because it was my favourite episode, Austin and alias. My favourite part or the episode was about to happen 'yay!!!' i thought to myself. my favourite part of the episode is when austin swings ally aka Roxy over his shoulder and walks away . rocky walked in literally seconds before it happened. basically saying the first thing he saw when he walked into the livingroom was me laughing like a complete loser. "nice! watching my brother on tv?" he asks while chuckling to himself. "yeah! you got a problem with that?" i asked him sarcastically. "no" he replies as he sits down next to me, outs his arm around my waist, and kisses the side of my head. after the episode ended he asked me if i wanted to have a movie marathon of random movies and of course i said yes. i picked out three movies to start while rocky got the food ready. the movies i had chosen where pitch perfect, cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2 and frozen. the first movie we decided to watch was cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2. personally i love this movie so much because its hilarious and all my favorite parts happen in a chain reaction type thing. After watching cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2 we decided to watch frozen. I absolutely love frozen. it is such a cute and funny movie and olaf is absolutely hilarious. my two favorite parts about frozen e when olaf sings his song about summer and when he says 'ohh, look at that. i've been impailed' and finally after frozen we watched pitch perfect. i would narrow the movie down to my favorite part but it is kind of hard to do considering the whole movie is absolutely hilarious. if i had to choose one part that would be my favorite i would have to say the riff off because the riff off consists of a bunch of really good songs that are made even better in the movie. after watching pitch perfect we realized it was getting really late. "babe can you stay here tonight? i get really lonely when both my parents work and besides i havent seen you in a while and i miss you" i said sounding a bit needy but t doesnt really matter cause im not exactly afraid to admit that i can be a bit needy at times. "sure babe id love to stay with you tonight! let me just go back to my house quickly to get some things and ill be back soon. love you. he kissed the side of my head and left. i decided i would get ready for bed while he was gone to get his stuff. i quickly put on some pyjamas and brushed my teeth. i took a quick drink of water and by the time i had finished all of this rocky was walking through my door again. he quickly got ready for bed and curled up next to me under the sheets. e were lying down in bed and his arms were wrapped around me. usually that would be enough to put me to sleep at a time like this but apparently tonight that wasnt enough. "hey babbe?" i said hoping he woulld still be awake and to my luck he was. "yeah babe?" he said semi curiously. "i cant sleep. could you maybe sing a little because i think it might help." the next thing you know he was singing half a heart by one direction because he knows how much i love that song nd also its a softer song so it made it easy to fall asleep. He kept singing the song as he kept singing i kept getting closer and closer to being asleep and then eventually the sound of his amazing voice just faded away.

#rocky lynch #r5 #fanfictions

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perfectionistincrisis · 7 years ago

Text

Day 81

i keep talking to myself all the time - no not cause im mad or alone - but like i said earlier - i pretend like its ‘him’ and just him. meaning, no, im not those people who talk to themselves cause they enjoy doing it, or like um neither those who talk to themselves cause they dont have anyone else to talk to - but rather, -i-just-talk-to-him-

wow, no that was a nice way to put it out there. so much for defending myself lol

ok so im kinda energetic - as in -my mood is- i am not, physically energetic though. i mean i just spent the last hour and a half in bed scrolling through my phone until my phone shut off cause it ran out of charge and only then i dragged myself slowly to the washroom to pee which i shouldve done 60 minutes ago. so yeah - very lazy

speaking of time. WTH is going on with this world? i feel like the number of seconds in one minute is a subject to small rise and falls like the world currencies! I mean seriously, i swear nowadays “1 minute” = “EIGHTY seconds” No Kidding!!!! It all started from after fajr today!!!!!

yeah so after fajr today, at first i kind of blanked out - as in - that rush, impatience and i dont even know how to describe it - kinda feeling i was telling? about missing him and all that? like i need some action something to happen and wow this is such an off season - so yeah i was kind of stuck in my chair,, just switching from one social media to another doing nothing literally other than idk - trying to fast forward life and hit play somewhere cool ugh ok

so then something happened and it cheered me up and i got on the treadmill as was planned. usually do 3 hours but i knew doing 3 now, including my tiny 3-5 min breaks every 30 mins would take too long

anyways ended up doing two hours at around 7 30 and then was too tired to take a shower so i just pulled a bed sheet from my closet and slept on the floor, cause no way im putting my stinky body to bed.

when i got up, prayed zuhr and YESSS i did the one hour i skipped in the morning and yeah well thats pretty much it for the day. i mean then i sat and ate and then went to the hosp came back, chilled and still chilling right now as im typing :)

oh something i said yesterday about how i wish life was full of action like in movies. like i just wish it was although i know its BS thats totally against how this life works. whats more surprising is how i actually wish for stupid stuff - i mean you know how on social media - one gets to present themselves the way they want. i mean you can be anything. happy sad widow married depressed gay - its like - its in your hands - how do you want to present yourself to the world mam? yeah you get my point? but like i lot of people fall for it. you look into others posts and you might wonder how their life is so wonderful and yours is not, how someones life is picture perfect and yours is not and BLABLABLA but Lol - i neverrrrr fell for that. pretty much cause i sugar coat my life too loool

Its actually funny - im actually laughing - anyways where im getting at with this is - i was thinking about it - i mean for someone like me who never fell for all the crap people put up on display on social media - i sure am one hell of a dreamer to ‘wish’ for a busy ‘movie-like’ all colorful life. But then again in my defense - those are real people and people are full of crap so yeah i dont fall for their shit but i mean a movie is a well organised script being played out - ofcourse you ‘wishing’ for something like it is acceptable yasss (whatever makes you sleep at night:3 )

Also i assure you my vocabulary aint that poor, i just seem to lose my words when im posting anything here. mostly cause i have no words - everything is so messy and twisty and complicated Ugh

Also its really weird that i feel like a days just passed by too fast this week. i mean i mustve slipped. i mean im like a human clock. lol i mean it. i mean when im not on vacation - and you ask me the time, anytime - my guesses are so close to accurate - like im aware of every second ticking by - now, im just saying im aware of it - that doesnt really mean i make the most out of time - but then i do know how precious it is, and i do feel like crap when im just shitting it away. and just randomly wasting time is one thing, but trust me when you are aware youre doing shit - ouch that burns!

so august is coming, and i was kind of planning on fasting - i mean i didnt fast in july cause i wanted to get used to working out and fasting would just be disturbing. but yeah now its almost august and i think i should fast - for like the whole month - yeah :) cause i barely fasted for i think 8 days this Ramadan i need to make all the rest of it up. AND THEN AFTER THAT, it is sunnah but not one im actually brave enough to do to be honest but but but i think i have no choice - i mean i think i have to fast like every monday or thursday every week - cause i have a lot and a lot of fasting to do to make up for ALLLLL the ones i missed my entire life and trust me thats quite a lot - not the normal amount any girl would miss - cause ive been having problems and so i had to skip a lot and stuff - and i never kept an exact count - well actually its impossible cause its been a problem for years but then i do have to admit that i never tried either - cause idk- i guess i kind of took it as - oh cmon its just fasting - i mean i think i missed around 20 roughly - so ill just fast 30 - thatll cover it up plus ill fast extra - which is a good thing and blabla all that random thoughts!

anyways i should now just focus on the 30 i wna fast for this year, in august but idk i have to come up with some legit plan where my work out schedule fits in perfectly too. both are important to me, and im not choosing one over the other, i dont want to and i dont have to inshaAllah

oh just a random thing - but i go for brands! Meaning, you know if something is sold by a really well known brand youd obviously expect it to have good quality and most of the time yes youre right. sometimes, nope! but then there are things which are not “branded” but the quality is amazing, and the price? well most of the time it is cheaper, but yeah i guess sometimes the price is almost similar - well the thing is - i am the type of person - whod want the brand name on PLUS the quality. like if there were 2 bags for example or two shoes, SAME quality, but one is cheaper ONLY cause it does not have a famous brand name on it - i am definitely the person whod pay wayyyy wayyy more for the branded one! - SO now you know the type of person i am :) :) :) :)

Lol im sure that kind of information is something a lot of people would use to judge someone :3 But then im not all so irrational loool - like thats definitely something that is “goals” for me! I mean, i am a medical student being financially supported by my dad right now and will be for atleast the next 3 years. ATLEAST! ATLEAST! ATLEAST!

SO yeah im not saying i cant afford branded products right now but i sure am not comfortable living a life of luxury at this phase of my life. I want to earn it. With my own sweat and energy. I want to tell myself that i deserve it. So yeah, thats the type of person i am but im not currently ‘practicing’ it like religion and one day IF i do, i know it will be something i earned and something Allah will not be unhappy with, because I am not planning to disappoint Him

Okay enough with that. i really dont need to talk about it as long as i know ill be alright inshaAllah

Oh something really interesting - so i REALLY REALLY need to smile. like NOT “smile more” but like “SMILE” for gods sake hahhaha. I mean idk - its like i hate people so much and idk i feel like everyone for some reason is turning against me or doesnt like me, and its not like i even care or want them to like me and thats exactly why im like all -pokerface-pokerface- but like cmooooon! if youre really talking to someone, something as simple as a short interaction in the hospital for example with the receptionist or pharmacist - i mean cmoon - just smile a little? i mean i REALLY need to work on it. cause if i am planning on being a doctor - OH PLEASE - smiling is part of the job OH WAKE UP LADYYY!!!!!!!

but like im not kidding - like i just said - i feel like everyone for some reason is turning against me or doesnt like me. and ofcourse its not true, i mean MOST people dont even know me. like in the hospital i went to today for example - whyd everyone hate me? :) i mean idk its just something i feel. its weird. but sheeeeeet. have to work on it. fake a smile honey :)

Okay and idk how wrong or right it is. but i thought of it and i dont feel like there is any harm to it. Like, id like to have the idea in my head that me and him, we love each other and we are meant to be together one day. inshaAllah. For which i always and always pray to Him and ask from Him. But as of right now, we are not together. but deep deep deeeeep deeeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeeeeeeeep and deeeeeeeeeeep’errr in my heart i keep telling myself that. We are.

now idk if its wrong, or right - but - i believe it is not making me do something which might anger my Lord. All what it does is calm my heart. a little. And so i guess its okay! At least for now, i cant let go of the idea. Not today <3 Tada, guess thats enough for today!

xox

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perfectionistincrisis · 8 years ago

Text

Day 70

Seventy.

Life is going on. With ups and downs. Good days and bad days. Well life is mostly grey for me.

As every day passes, i just realize more and more how much i love him. I really dont want to bluff about it but I just couldnt stop from typing it out because the realization blows my mind away. And one big reason is because I would never do what i did, or can do for him, and no one will ever mean anything even remotely close to how much he meant to me and will always mean to me.

This might all just sound like a cheesy note any person in love would say but Oh God! trust me, this is what comes to my head after quite a good number of not-so-nice crap i have in my big fat head. So yeah! thats how i just know. This is not ever going away. And if I ever got a chance to re-live, i wouldn’t have wanted to fall in love with anyone else, orrrrrrrrrrr id just wish I was alone. That’s pretty cool tooo!! lol

Speaking of which. Yeah. I pretty much do enjoy my own company. I just dont like communicating much with people. for a lot of reasons actually. Well, to begin with. I believe im a really complicated person. LIke, everyone has their own story and theres something twisty about everyone and bla bla but then I really do thing Im just not that easy to understand, and to top all that, I dont even like opening up to people so thats more of a reason to not get me. I am kind of aware of the fact that i seem to have a lot of ego and seem to be filled with pride and arrogance. But thats not true, thats just how some people see me, and i cant blame them because i think that is something i mask myself with. However, many people do find me really sweet and all but whatever side anyone sees, its always clear, im not really interested in getting too close with anyone and that i appreciate my own space. Sometimes, i do wonder if i really do enjoy being on my own or i actually want some good friends. But then the thing is, i have really really good friends back from high school. the only thing is, theyre not in the same country, theyre far away. but then again, even when we were all on ksa, we still mostly communicated on social media and stuff so it shouldnt matter much i guess. what im trying to say is. despite all the misunderstanding people might have with me, or people actually finding me sweet or whatever. or me not liking them much or wanting them to be my friends or whatever. the thing is, its not that i dont have anyone at all. because i do have people who know me. they dont know every little detail about me though, and thats because i dont talk much to them either. but they know me as a person. like i dont need to kiss their ass to get their attention, i can be myself with them.. i can be mean, and rude, or not keep in touch or act like im full of ego, like im so full of my shit and theyd still accept me. because they know that thats just how i am. im not sugarcoated.

But.. it still doesnt matter

What im saying is. I prefer sitting alone on my own. doing literally nothing. no phone. no laptop. no means of communication with the outside world OVER actually chatting with anyone. or even someone who knows me so well and is close to me.

Ok man, i talk a lot! So yeah that’s the thing! but when we were together, i wouldve done anything to not miss a chance to talk to him lol - thats just an easy way to put it out there, that he was different.

And also putting it out there how my life is right now. I prefer my own company. I dooooo badly wish i had a ‘partner’ though - an ‘eating partner’!!!!!! haha! I really wish i could go to restaurants with someone to try food randomly. But then. idk. i mean its not that easy to find someone who has the same love for food and aso someone whos willing to spend money to try food or someone whod be able to hang out with me. especially i dont even have any good friends in ksa right now Ugh

Another really important reason i dont like talking to people much is the commitment. I hate commitment!!!!!!! And when i say commitment i dont even mean something serious like being in some relationship. i mean.. even the smallest commitment. like when you even knock someone and the person expects you to reply fast. Like okay give me a break! We dint exchange vows or something, yth do i need to reply fast. or whyd you even expect me to reply fast like idk. do people just pause their lives and just talk to other people? bleh Im not even ready for that so yeah!

buttttttttt then again - with him. it was SO different. but like i said. it was only him!!!!

Something cool was the fact that i had a dream of him the other day. we never met each other f2f after our last conversation, so him in my dream was the first time we met f2f which wasnt actual anyways!!! But!!! I was so full of attitude. Like I could totally see my facial expressions and go like. “Oh God Youuu” to myself! Im usually full of attitude in front of other guys, if i ever am, which is kinda rare. just saying!

So i read his post about him going to bd and stuff, and i wont even lie about how i totally never like that. but then this time its different obviously. In many ways though. One way to look at it is how i just remembered about the time when he was in bd last year! ~~~ And the award for the roughest of all times goes to!!!!

Now comes the part were I actually give the reason why I dont blog much! Well tbh i want to blog all the time. But then!!!! Who am i kidding???? Its obviously cause I want him to read my post and blabla so yeah I dont! I mean. I really want to, but i dont. The same way. Forget blogging man. I mean. In this generation, with all these advancements and i say, no barrier at all. If we could decide like two mature adults to stop talking for nothing but good intentions then i sure as hell can keep myself from blogging about every little thing, and keep my shit together, and only blog when my mind and my heart says that i got it in my hands and im not going to screw up!

and so that would mean that anything i post about, is just a very little, incomplete detail of the entire story and i almost always will sugarcoat it a million times and put it up here!

but like i said - every thing just ends with me realizing how in love i am with him and as long as that is how it ends, i like it.

So “losing weight” is like the --aim of my life-- right now. Just that its so boring oh maa gawd - and so i end up watching suits. which is soooooo niiiceeeeee omgg. And i actually love the couple there. Mike & Rachel! - oh and also its kinda funny to me idk why but whenever i see any couple onscreen that i like, my inner me kinda teases me going like “sarah, you loser!!!!!” and then i look down from the screen for a second or two like an actual loser would doo and then yeah i just “laugh it away” - like silently! ~ No hard feelings!

umm.so yeah i was saying. The main thing is losing weight and i want to lose one kg a week WHICH I AM NOT BY THE WAY. so i kind of get sad from time to time and all, and then idk get ok with it, and then sad again and alll that. and then battling myself against food is there. Today though i kind of figured out that if i watch suits while on the treadmill ill kinda stay distracted, and it wont be boring anymore and ill be able to go somewhere i guess.

so theres around 9 weeks left for uni to open and i wish vacation never ended but yeah lets just face reality. And about my brother, 6 weeks left. So that means I wna lose around 9 kgs before uni reopens but its smart to kind of plan a bit more than you actually want so that if you dont totally achieve your goal youll still land somewhere good. if you know what i mean.

Now there is a lot i want to say. SO muchh. But I cant be fooling myself. It would obviously be for him only. So Ill just hold everything back in!!!!!!

But one thing I want the world to know

Everyone has their own problems and their own imperfection and perfections and whatever. But ever since I had my eyes on him, i knew he was different. infact that is exactly why i liked him in the first place. I dont wna go in depth with this but ill just say it in the simplest way I can.

When I was with him, yes, I did pray for a fairytale story. But not an actual one. because those dont exist. I had my own modified version of a fairytale ending. And in their, everything was not perfect. Everyone was not perfect. there was pain, there were people who didnt know what they were worth. All I ever wanted is to be the person to be ale to mend hearts, to help someone find their way out from the sufferings, to be a part of someone happiness. And even though we are not together right now. I wish the same. I just wanted it to be through me before. Now it doesnt necessarily need to be, cause it definitely will be coming from Allah both ways inshaAllah.

I pray he gets to see what I see in him. And what people see in him. And most importantly, what he sees in himself but fails to value at times.

P.S. My family is excluded from consideration in this post. when i talk about people, i mean everyone else except my family. --ALSOOOOO-- I just randomly sat down at 5am and decided to blog today and so i sat with my laptops and this is all what flowed outta me!

A totally random post!

BUT i do wna mention how the tumblr app on my phone s.u.c.k.s. Cant give notifications properly *&^&%&^$%&%*^(0

Bye c:

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